Travis Luedke's Blog, page 10

Libraries, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Smashwords #Pubtalk #HellYeah #ASMSG

Smashwords announced today that they have finally jumped the last hurdle to Indie Ebook distribution ~ LIBRARIES.
Say it with me folks ... LIBRARIES. 
Let it roll off your tongue. Swish it around in your mouth and savor it.
My Indie-self-pubbed ebooks are now going to be featured, loaned, borrowed and sold in LIBRARIES.
Nuff said.
http://blog.smashwords.com/2014/05/smashwords-and-overdrive-to-bring.html

http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

True Blood vs Sookie Stackhouse Novels a #Review and Comparison #Vampires #ASMSG

OK, confession time, I have never watched True Blood until recently. I have only watched the first season thus far.  Overall, I really enjoyed it. Definitely moving onto season two. Matter of fact, I will probably end up doing a True Blood marathon, considering I just ordered the whole set of DVD's.
Characterization:  They did a phenomenal job of casting this show. Its obvious to me that a lot of time and consideration went into the casting, because they really extracted the essence of Charlaine Harris's characters in the novels. But, I did notice several characters whose parts felt much more prominent than my recollection of the books, Jason, Lafayette, and Tara.
Now, Jason, I never really cared for his character in the books, so I probably skimmed over his scenes as fast as possible. He is the perpetual fuckup that Sookie has to endure because they're related. There isn't very much about Jason that's likeable, not to me. But, they really nailed his character in this first season. Still, I felt far too much screen time was spent on Jason.
Lafayette was awesome. I really regret that he died. I just loved the guy they cast in for his part, and, I really enjoyed how much screen time he received, but, I don't recall him being that big of a player in the actual novels.  He was out there in the peripheral. In the books, I could barely even recall that Merlott's had a cook named Lafayette at the point that he was murdered. In the books, he was nowhere near as prominent or entertaining as he was in True Blood.
I really enjoyed him in the show, he brought some much-needed levity to every scene he was in. The man was funny, and so in your face. He was the quintessential aggressive gay male that makes homophobic southerners cringe. Loved him.
Tara was always that annoying friend who I tolerated only slightly more than Jason. So, I suppose, I may have skimmed over her parts in the novels. Tara had way too much screen time. 
This story is about Sookie, and the vampires, and yet, this first season felt like it was about Tara and Jason more than anyone else. It started off so awesome, with Sookie and Bill, and then it all slid downhill into Tara and Jason.
My biggest gripe is that the main focus, the plot and characters of Sookie and Bill, felt drowned out by Jason and Tara. 
The Vampires:  Bravo to the producers of True Blood for giving us vampires that feel exactly like what they are supposed to be. These are predators, and humans are prey. They feed from us and use us, and we are nothing more than cattle to them, for the most part. True Blood vampires are the real deal. Its such a breath of fresh air to have these creatures given their due.  I give a big fat Siskel & Ebert two thumbs up for the vampires.
The Sex: This has got to be the first time ever in the history of film-making where the movie enhanced the sexual components that were almost non-existent in the book. Charlaine Harris doesn't write a sex scene. She writes fantasy-thriller with a splash of romance. There are no explicit sex scenes in the Sookie Stackhouse series.  Are they implied? Sure. But there's nothing erotic about these novels, not even so much as an erotic little pinky toe.  I was very surprised to see how much screen time the sex scenes got, considering they didn't really exist in the books. Charlaine glosses over her sex scenes.  
You don't believe me? 
I write sex scenes, violent, animalistic, erotically charged sex scenes. You're going to have to trust me on this. Read some erotica, then read Sookie Stackhouse, you'll see what I mean.
And, they didn't fuck around about it in True Blood. Right out the gate, we get to see a vampire sex scene that is just as intense as any hardcore porn ever produced. The only thing missing is the penetration camera angles.
True Blood made up for all those missing sex scenes, and then some. Its like the screen writer realized sex was the one thing that Charlaine Harris had left out of her books, then dived in to correct that problem right away.
Even though I whined about this and that, do not be fooled, I did enjoy the show. 
True Blood, Season 1, gets FIVE FATASS STARS FROM ME:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★





http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

#SpiceBox Like Romance novels? How about 16 novels for $.99? #Erotic #Romance #ASMSG

PRE-ORDER NOW:Barnes & Noble | Amazon | Apple | Kobo
SAMPLE - FIRST CHAPTER OF ALL 16 BOOKS:
.pdf | .mobi (Kindle) | .epub (Nook)

Spice Box: Sixteen Steamy Stories
Authors: Raine Miller, Cathryn Fox , Erika Wilde, K.M. Scott, Nina Lane, A.C. James, Christina Thacher, Stephanie Julian, Kathy Kulig, Geri Foster, Lisa Alder, Jan Springer, Sarah Mäkelä, Maureen O. Betita, Riley J. Ford, Travis Luedke

Tagline: What's your spice?

Genre: Erotic Romance
ISBN: 9781311437068

Pre-orders: May 15th-- NOW! Release Date: Sunday, June 29th for one month only.


What’s your spice?

Whether it’s contemporary romance or romantic suspense, alpha vampires, shifter filled stories, or BDSM romance—Spice Box offers sixteen erotic romance books with something for everyone. For a limited time this is your chance to enjoy books from today's New York Times, USA Today, Amazon and Barnes & Noble bestselling authors and many more. The e-books cost over $50 when purchased separately.
Raine Miller, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author.
Cherry Girl
She will forever be his Cherry Girl...Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Cathryn Fox, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author.
Torn Between Two Brothers
She’s breaking all the rules…Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books
K.M. Scott writing as Gabrielle Bisset, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author.
Blood Avenged
I am everything you desire. I am vampire.Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Janelle Denison writing as Erika Wilde, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author.
The Invitation
An invitation that will take them beyond their wildest, most erotic fantasies. Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Nina Lane, USA Today Bestselling Author.
Arouse
"Come here, beauty," he says. "You need to be kissed."Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

with...

A.C. James
Eternal Ever After
A Gothic Cinderella re-telling with vampires and bondage…oh, my!Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books
Kathy Kulig 
Red Tape
Sparks fly between two ex-CIA agents when a White House sex scandal spins out of control and turns deadly.Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Christina Thacher
The Bequest: A BDSM Romance
CFO by day, sexual submissive at night. When her Master dies suddenly, Sara discovers his will leaves her to his nephew...Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Stephanie JulianHis to KeepHe has her right where he wants her...Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books
Geri Foster
Wrong Room
Short, Cute, Sexy!Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Lisa Adler
The Demon's Deception
Certainly a Demon strong enough to survive being chained for a millennium beneath the Earth's crust can resist one virginal princess when she demands his help.Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Jan Springer
Sex With The Ex
Sky undertakes a dangerous mission to the dark sensual world of sex slave training…Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books
Sarah Mäkelä
The Witch Who Cried Wolf
When her magic gets mixed up, supernatural forces are unleashed and suddenly she’s being pursued by werewolves that she didn’t even realize existed…Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Maureen O. Betita
The Kraken's Mirror
Where anything can happen. And usually does.Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Riley J. Ford
Fifty Shades of Fifty Shades of Grey
Unable to withstand the pent-up ache radiating from his tender blue testicles, Ben decides to take Grey's methods to a whole new level in order to relieve the pressure on his . . . er, marriage.Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Travis Luedke
Blood Slave
From the ghettos of Spanish Harlem to a Manhattan penthouse, follow Hope's shocking tale of life as a bloodslave to master vampire Enrique. Website | Newsletter | Facebook | Twitter | Books

Save over $50. This set will only be available for one month, so order your copy before it's gone!

 PRE-ORDER NOW:Barnes & Noble | Amazon | Apple | Kobo
SAMPLE - FIRST CHAPTER OF ALL 16 BOOKS:
.pdf | .mobi (Kindle) | .epub (Nook)
http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

PNR Radio Interviews @CJEllisson & @TWLuedke #Paranormal #Erotica #Giveaway #ASMSG

PNR RADIO FEATURES TRAVIS LUEDKE & CJ ELLISON!
http://ilovevampirenovels.com/podcast/travis-luedke-cj-ellisson-giveaways/
http://traffic.libsyn.com/pnrradio/PNRRadio_Episode016.mp3
We have two authors on the show today who write Vampire Erotica and Erotic Romance –  CJ Ellisson , the bestselling author of the VV Inn series, and  Travis  Luedke, the bestselling author of the Nightlife series. Both of them have sexy giveaways, so listen to learn how you can win!Episode Number: 16Length: 34 minutesHost: Arial BurnzLinks Mentioned in this EpisodeCONTEST: Click here to enter the contests mentioned in the podcast.Our SponsorsMy Paranormal Book Club – MyParanormalBookClub.com/PNRI Love Vampire Novels – ILoveVampireNovels.com CJ EllissonWebsite: http://www.cjellisson.com/FacebookTwitter: @CJEllissonGoodReads CJ Ellisson’s Books CLICK HERE to enter CJ Eillisson’s giveaway. The VV Inn series  – This is CJ’s urban fantasy erotic series about Vivian and Rafe and their supernatural resort in Alaska. Buy the series on Amazon | B&N | iTunes | Kobo. The Grim Reality series  - This is the series written by CJ’s best friend, Boone Brux, who co-authored Death Times Two featuring Lisa Carron from the Grim Reality series. Buy the series on Amazon | B&N. Death Times Two  &  Death’s Servant  - Novellas that are side stories for the VV Inn Series. Buy these novellas on Amazon | B&N | iTunes | Kobo. Travis LuedkeWebsite: http://www.twluedke.com/Twitter: @NightlifeNovelsFacebookTravis Luedke’s BooksCLICK HERE to enter Travis Luedke’s giveaway.Nightlife series – Vampire erotica! Buy the series on Amazon | B&N | iTunes | Kobo.E-Zines Shared during Travis Luedke’s interview:Scifi/Fantasy/Paranormal Emagazine websites:http://asmsg-sfp.com/Emagazine/http://asmsg-horror-thriller.com/Emagazine/Here’s the first issue of the ASMSG Scifi/Fantasy/Paranormal Ezine:http://www.joomag.com/magazine/asmsg-scifi-fantasy-paranormal-emagazine-march-2014/0944460001395698618http://smarturl.it/ASMSG_SFP_March_2014The Paper.li auto-generated daily periodical:https://paper.li/ASMSGHubs/1394393670Vampire Writers Support Group Social Media Hub:https://www.rebelmouse.com/VWSGHub/Scifi/Fantasy/Paranormal Social Media Hub:https://www.rebelmouse.com/ASMSGhub2/Horror/Thriller Social Media Hub:https://www.rebelmouse.com/ASMSGhub3/Romance/Erotic Romance Social Media Hub:https://www.rebelmouse.com/ASMSGhub4/The post 016: Travis Luedke | CJ Ellisson Giveaways appeared first on PNR Radio - The ParaNormal Report - News, Celebrities, Giveaways.MEDIA ENCLOSURE: http://traffic.libsyn.com/pnrradio/PNRRadio_Episode016.mp3http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

IN THE LAND OF SCARABS ~ $.99 PREORDER (And FREEBIE) #Romance #Saga #ASMSG

IN THE LAND OF SCARABS ~ Preorder now for $.99!
Release Date:  May 26th 2014 (Price goes up to $1.99)



IN THE LAND OF SCARABS:


*A Contemporary Romantic Saga, two stories, the second installment in the Love Is Never Past Tense Series*
Newly reunited lovers Janna and Serge thought the world had given them another chance at happiness. After years of separation following a heartbreaking divorce and harrowing escape from post-cold-war Russia, the couple had reconnected through emails, and finally took the leap to see each other in person.
In The Net of Cupid:______________
Their reignited spark burns ever brighter as they enjoy an idyllic beachside vacation together in North Carolina. Once again life teaches these lovers another surprising, scary lesson. On the coast of an ocean for the first time in his life, Serge rushes into cold waves and mortal danger. He abandons Janna on the shore, leaving behind their plans for a future together. Janna is helpless watching Serge fight a cruel battle with the elements, struggling to make his way back to shore.
In The Land of Scarabs:_________________
The romantic saga continues as they travel to Egypt for new experiences. Through an impromptu arrest by customs officials, they emerge to a sun-kissed sand-dune paradise. Egypt is everything they hoped it would be and more. On a desert trek with the Bedouins they find a guide, an old friend of Serge’s from Russia.
Experience this poignant tale of a love that spans decades and continents, as this amazing couple travel the world, discovering both their past and their future together.
*These stories are unconventional women’s fiction, told in the uniquely Russian voice of Janna Yeshanova. Though she was forced to flee her beloved homeland, leaving a piece of her heart behind, she will always and forever be Russian.
PREORDER NOW:





LIMITED TIME OFFER:
Grab LOVE IS NEVER PAST TENSE,
FREE, just for signing up to Janna Yeshanova's newsletter!




*An Epic Russian Romance Saga Based on a True Story*
“A sensual love story set across contemporary Russian culture. It is inspiring as a reminder of passionate love beyond early youth.” - Dorothy E. Siminovitch, Ph.D., MCC, Coach, Author, Conference speaker and learning consultant.
A whirlwind romance on a romantic Black Sea beach turns into a quick marriage for Serge and Janna, only to have family, fate and foolishness tear them apart. As the cold war grinds to a halt, the politics of late Soviet Russia separates the lovers on different continents. Never quite coming together, never quite letting go, their lives overlap and entwine over the years…
“Can the power of love stand up to time, politics and distance? Two young lovers face turmoil, separation and the fall of their homeland. This intriguing and often painful love story spans for decades of life-altering years, life-altering events, but proves that true love will endure as long as the human heart beats.” - Amazon top 1000 reviewer
“The portrayal of Communist and post-1991 Russia is brilliantly done and made the story so much more than 'just' a romance.” - Amazon top 500 reviewer, Christoph Fischer
Beneath the adventure and romance is a deeper story of achieving dreams regardless of obstacles. Janna Yeshanova brings forth her personal account of courage in the face of impossible odds, her indomitable spirit, and a heart of gold that held onto a lost love for decades.
“This very modern love story, lets you feel the sorrow, fear and joy of a couple coping with events that reshaped the world. A great, dramatic romance in classic Russian style.” - Amazon reviewer
Anyone who’s ever pondered the eternal question, “What makes life worth living?” can find the answer within the international romantic saga of LOVE IS NEVER PAST TENSE.
http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

The Passion of Erotic Romance by @MarilynLakewood #EroticRomance #ASMSG

The Passion of Erotic Romance03/19/2014
http://www.trollriverpub.com/1/post/2014/03/the-passion-of-erotic-romance.html
Photo Credit: paulcoxphotography via Compfight ccArticle written by Marilyn Lakewood
E-musings … star date 01.24.14
I write erotic romance, some with elements of dominance and submission. It’s fiction, and not meant to be a guide or manual, in any way whatsoever. My stories are not real life. They are about consensual fantasy situations—romantic and sexual fantasies—with sexy alpha male heroes. They are meant to be fun, an adventure and entertaining escape.
No matter what type of romance you prefer, passion is a key element. Taut sexual tension between lovers remains the gold-standard for exciting romance. 
Readers love that strung-out, wiggle in your seat, heart-pounding, breathless excitement. The hotter, the better.  
Foreplay increases sexual tension. Drawn out glances, touches, starts and slows, the ‘just barely’ makes everything about the dance of courtship foreplay.
One of the things I love about D/s romance is the way it takes foreplay to a higher level. Foreplay on steroids. A scene between a Dom and his subbie isn’t just about the cuffs or floggers that increase the physical intensity of foreplay—a Dom playing with his lover can also increase the duration of foreplay.
Who doesn’t like that?
And then there’s the way a Dom lavishly bestows attention on his sub before, during, and afterwards.
Wildly romantic, right? And ultra responsible. 
Romance readers can find passion in many sub-genres. Fantasy romance, paranormal romance, ménage romance, sci-fi romance, western romance, and D/s romance—to name just some—and within each there are more choices.
I enjoy all kinds of romance with Alpha heroes—the majority are M/f and M/f/M*, but whatever your preferences, there’s a vast spectrum of choice in erotic romance.
Happy reading,
Marilyn
*I’ve noticed some D/s stories have tags that use a capitol ‘M’ to denote a dominant male, and small ‘f’ to denote a submissive female. So if I see M/f, I not only know it’s about a man and woman, I also know it’s a dominant male and a submissive female. By the same short & sweet method, if I see M/f/M, not only do I know the story is a ménage where both men make love to the woman, I also know she’s submissive and the males are dominant.
It makes sense to me. 
I liked this post by Kim Dare defining some acronyms used in erotic writing. The article was written in 2008, but I think these terms are still in use.
http://totalebound.blogspot.com/2008/10/kinky-code.html

Marilyn Lakewood is our latest UP and Coming author! Diving into Sugar Kink Ink, her debut novel "Chase's Hard Wear" is expected to be released December 2014. This new series revolves around light bondage and BDSM themes that tantalize until you scream! "Chase's Hard Wear" will be the first of three and maybe more in the series.
Marilyn writes stories with hot, alpha males to inspire her during the long Northwest winters. She loves creating XXX romances with protective, hard-lovin' heroes and sexy fantasies.  
http://www.marilynlakewood.com/
https://twitter.com/MarilynLakewoodhttp://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

The CHICKLIT Social Media Hub is born! #Awesomesauce #ChickLit #ASMSG

ASMSG has a brand new Social Media Hub just for ChickLit!
Find articles, books, giveaways, freebies, and more at the Hub!
https://www.rebelmouse.com/asmsghub10/



http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

Do you really need an Agent? What is the value of an Agent? #Pubtalk #ASMSG

Literary agents ~ once upon a time they ruled the world.
Now ... not so much.

Syndicated from: http://www.digitalbookworld.com/2014/authors-views-on-the-value-of-agents/

Authors’ Views on the Value of AgentsCategories: Expert Publishing Blog | Tags: Agents, Authors
May 1, 2014 | Dana Beth Weinberg | 0      Do I need an agent?The longstanding advice to new writers was that if they had any hope of a successful career in publishing, they absolutely needed an agent. Myriad books and blogs have been devoted to the topics of how to pitch agents and how to find the right agent. Unfortunately for most authors, winning an agent is easier said than done, and rejection is the rule rather than the exception. With the growth of indie publishing and of presses that will consider unagented work, entrepreneurial authors are starting to ask how relevant agents are in today’s publishing world.Are agents worth their fifteen percent? The 2014 Digital Book World and Writer’s Digest Survey asked more than 2,800 published authors (those in the sample who had started, completed, or published a manuscript) their opinions on various ways that agents help authors. While the survey is a voluntary sample and may not be representative of the population of authors, the responses reported here reflect the opinions of a large number of authors on different publishing paths: 1,563 indie-only authors, 674 traditional-only authors, and 597 hybrid authors.Related: What Advantages do Traditional Publishers Offer Authors
Overall, the published authors in the survey were quite positive in their estimates of what agents offered authors. Asked whether they strongly disagreed, disagreed, neither agreed nor disagreed, agreed, or strongly agreed with several statement about what agents do, the majority of authors agreed or strongly agreed with each of the statements presented with one exception. Authors were unsure whether agents were helpful to authors who are self-publishing, with 47.6% neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the statement.
The appraisals of the value of agents was indeed quite high, with over 80% of published authors agreeing that agents are worth their commissions. However, a minority of published authors in the sample, only 9.3% currently had an agent.Authors who had only traditionally published were the most likely to have an agent currently, 16.1%, and authors who had only indie-published were the least likely, 1.6%. Hybrid authors, who are both traditionally published and self-published, were more likely than the other types of published authors to have had agents in the past but to have parted ways, 20.6%.Given the rosy estimates of what agents can do for authors, one might expect the proportion of published authors seeking literary agents to be quite high. However, just over a third of unagented published authors, 37.7%, are actively seeking agents: 35.2% indie-only, 45.5% traditional-only, and 37.13% hybrid.In total, 39% of the published authors in the sample have discarded the prevailing wisdom and opted out of the agent search, never having submitted their work to literary agents and not seeking one at the time. Of these, about two thirds, 67.5%, were indie-only authors.In Part II of this series on agents, I will examine the contribution that having an agent may make to the income authors received from their most recently traditionally published and indie published books, respectively.Related: What Advantages do Traditional Publishers Offer Authors     About Dana Beth WeinbergDana Beth Weinberg, received her doctorate from Harvard University and is Professor of Sociology at Queens College – CUNY, where she directs the MA Program in Data Analytics and Applied Social Research. Her research focuses on organizational behavior, work, and occupations. Inspired by her own personal experiences as a novelist, her current research examines the way that digitization is changing the book industry for readers, writers, and publishers. Find Dana at danabethweinberg.com or @DBWeinberg or https://www.facebook.com/danabethwein...
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

ERMAHGERD! The Nightlife London is only #99Cents! #Vampires #Werewolves! #ASMSG

THE NIGHTLIFE LONDON
Urban Fantasy Erotic Romance
ON SALE FOR $.99! The Nightlife Series is violent, sexy, and occasionally violently sexy
Vampires Aaron and Michelle prowl the dark, gritty, strip clubs and back alleys of London on the hunt for Michael Jamison, the man who stole Michelle's blood and left her for dead. To assist them, Aaron's new master, Urvashi, calls in favors from her friends, Russian mercenary werewolves.
Wolves Katya and Ivan, hunters adept at killing rogue vampires, set aside their animosity for Aaron and Michelle to stop Jamison from murdering another woman – he already has one bloodless victim lying in the morgue.
Jamison, ex-special forces, feels his enemies closing in, but he won't go down without a fight – and like Aaron and Michelle, he also has powerful friends.
Experience the violent, sensual underbelly of Nightlife London, as Aaron and Michelle mix up a wicked blend of sex, chaos, mayhem, and vengeance.
Find out what happens in the fourth novel of The Nightlife Series – bite into your copy today! BUY IT NOW FOR $.99! Normally $4.99
Would you like a FREE Nightlife Novel,just for subscribing to Travis Luedke’s mailing list?
There it is >>>>http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...

Anyone up for a beer bath in Prague? Reblogged via @vicdougherty #Czech #Beer #Baddassary #ASMSG

Reblogged via Victoria Dougherty: http://victoriadougherty.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/colds-first-annual-virtual-pub-crawl-thru-prague/
Cold’s First Annual Virtual Pub Crawl Thru Prague Allow me to be presumptuous. I’m assuming that since you follow Cold, you love – or at least appreciate on some level – a great beer or five.Back in the day when I was a Prague-dweller, beer-drinking wasn’t just for weekends or evenings. You could drink beer any time at all and with absolutely no social repercussions! My boss had a large cardboard box (I mean it could have fit three Barbie Dreamhouses fully assembled) next to his desk and it was piled high with empty beer bottles. In fact, I once sauntered into work around 9:00 am (or thereabouts) and was immediately assaulted by four drunkish colleagues – in addition to said boss – who proceeded to hold me down, lift up my skirt and spank me with a willow branch. I remember thinking during this whole surreal episode, “If this happened to me in America, I’d be rich.”Men could be seen having a beer for breakfast and no one even blinked.
Would you like one of these with your coffee and pancakes, sir?So, in honor of my Prague glory days, I thought I’d take myself and any willing Cold reader on little pub crawl through Prague. I’ll drag you to some of my favorite pubs and beer gardens – even some places I’ve never visited personally, but came highly recommended by Czech friends. I’ll wax nostalgic about wonderful hell-holes that have long-since closed. Communist slop-houses with dirty tablecloths, surly waiters (I’ve been told to “blow myself” for asking for a refill – no joke), food that gives a new Webster definition to the word “greasy,” emphysema inducing air, and great stories with even greater cheap beer.I’ll even introduce you to where I first met my husband, and you’ll see why we’ve lasted so long.Ah, so where do we begin? Being that it’s spring, I think we must begin outside, while we’re still sober enough to enjoy a good view. Behold the Letna Park Beer Garden – hands-down my favorite spot to down a brewsky in Prague. Not only does it offer some of the most beautiful views of the city, but boasts a refreshingly un-diverse menu of traditional Czech food – like this goulash for instance. They serve Gambrinus beer – at least they used to. It’s a beer named after the King of Flanders for his mythical brewing abilities. In truth, who cares? Because any beer you drink in Prague will be better than the sad, watered-down carbonated glug you’re used to drinking on most nights – even your self-respecting microbrews.Moving along, once you’ve watched the sunset from Letna, you might be in the mood for something more…cultivated. A nod to Prague’s illustrious past, perhaps. In this case I’ve got two suggestions for you. The first is for the purist. For that, I recommend trekking on over to U Fleku, which is no less than a national landmark. U Fleku is, I believe, the only brewery in Eastern Europe that has been brewing beer for 500 years straight. They started brewing only a few years after Columbus discovered America, in fact, so they’re pretty damned good at it. The food is meh, but it hardly matters. The atmosphere is straight out of the 15th century – and there’s even a beer garden. And for something less historical and more posed, but really no less enchanting, you can try any number of medieval “themed” bars. Don’t get turned off by that description. They’re more often than not located in centuries-old buildings and decorated in a style that is totally organic to the Dark Ages. So it’s not like going to a Old World version of TGI Fridays. And the beer, no matter what, will be outstanding. Here’s an example: What’s great about Prague is that even what you might think would turn out to be a cheesy theme bar can have more magic than any place you’ve ever chugged a pint. The pub where my husband and I met, for instance, was and is still called Molly Malone’s. And yes, in addition to Czech varieties, they do serve Irish beer. But that’s where the similarities end. Molly’s sits in a centuries old building and becomes a fire-lit Pilsner fairy-land once the sun goes down.This is Molly’s on the outside. I’m blushing. For more traditional Czech pub encounters, you still have plenty of options – even if the pubs of yesteryear aren’t quite the dime-a-dozen they used to be. Most of them offer lace curtains, vole (the Czech version of “good ole boys”), families, bad hygiene, ladies who will happily show you a good time, accordion music, beer cheese (you don’t want to know) and no non-smoking section. I love them, but they’re not for everybody. My favorite Czech pub food is Smazeny Syr – or a breaded and deep fried block of cheese served with french fries and copious dollops of mayonnaise. Pardon me while I have my heart-attack. Don’t know where I can find a beer bath, but Czech this out anyway (bad, I know). Doesn’t it make you want to move there? And finally, but downright at the top of my list are the pubs of the bygone era – that magnificent time when communism was already kaput, and everyone was free to think, speak, do whatever the bejeezus they wanted to do, but the whole place was still trapped in a time warp anywhere between 1951 and 1968. It was when pubs and restaurants like Deminka and Slovansky Dum had yet to be privatized and still offered great, uber-cheap (as in a few cents) beer, awful food, and a staff that was chronically lazy, rude, utterly classless, smelly and could be counted on for absolutely nothing – except to bring you a fantastic beer.At Deminka, a waiter actually slapped my head when I dared to pick up the menu off the table. “What would it look like if we let everyone touch it?” he demanded. When I asked for french fries in place of dumplings with my pork, I was told that “Only an idiot would ask for that. Everyone knows it doesn’t go together.”Sadly, I could find no pictures of those establishments. You’ll have to use your imagination.But know, that now matter what, at the end of the night you’ll always end up looking like this:
Czech out Victoria Dougherty:

Victoria Dougherty Bio Victoria Dougherty has for nearly twenty years distinguished herself as a master storyteller, writing fiction, drama, speeches, essays, and television news segments/video scripts.
In Prague, Ms. Dougherty co-founded the acclaimed Black Box Theater, translating, producing and acting to sold-out audiences in several Czech plays – from Vaclav Havel’s riveting “Protest” to the unintentionally hilarious communist propaganda play “Karhan’s Men.” Black Box Theater was profiled in feature articles in USA Today, International Herald Tribune, and numerous European publications.Currently, Ms. Dougherty lives with her family in Charlottesville, VA, and has recently completed a series of thematically linked Cold War spy thrillers. She is represented by Josh Getzler of Hannigan Salky & Getzler.
Czech out Vic's new release: THE BONE CHURCH

http://www.twluedke.com/
https://twitter.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/TWLuedke
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TW-Lued...