Pamela Roller's Blog, page 3

Does the Power of Positive Thinking Really Work?

Most, if not all, of us have these naysayers in our head who show up sometimes, often when things are going well and our guard is down. These killjoys, wet blankets, prophets of doom—whatever you want to call them—pop in just to show us the bad things that could happen in our circumstances and give discouraging outlooks on our hopes, dreams, and plans. We try to ignore the bad thoughts, but they grow. Self doubt jabs us with small, soft balls of worry, or slams us repeatedly with devastatin...

Claustrophobia Abounds

The heroine in my romance historical Her Lord and Protector is claustrophobic.

What is claustrophobia?
Better Health describes claustrophobia as an anxiety disorder focusing on the fear of enclosed or confined spaces.

Symptoms and signs
Symptoms of claustrophobia include dry mouth, shaking, sweating, nausea, fainting, accelerated heart rate, hyperventilation, fear of dying, and the inability to think or speak clearly. Signs of claustrophobia may include checking for exits, or standing near...

Claustrophobia Abounds

The heroine in my romance historical Her Lord and Protector is claustrophobic.

What is claustrophobia?
Better Health describes claustrophobia as an anxiety disorder focusing on the fear of enclosed or confined spaces.

Symptoms and signs
Symptoms of claustrophobia include dry mouth, shaking, sweating, nausea, fainting, accelerated heart rate, hyperventilation, fear of dying, and the inability to think or speak clearly. Signs of claustrophobia may include checking for exits, or standing...

Love in the Workplace

It happens. You get a job in a company and love what you do. You spend eight or more hours a day with coworkers who share your skills, education, job interests, and work ethic. Attraction blooms. Maybe you look into the person’s eyes, and you just know. Or it may take awhile. At some point you find your fingers touching your co-worker’s while reaching for the same menu or sticky note or financial report. You just happen to “bump into each other” more and more in the hall or the break room. L...

Love in the Workplace

It happens. You get a job in a company and love what you do. You spend eight or more hours a day with coworkers who share your skills, education, job interests, and work ethic. Attraction blooms. Maybe you look into the person’s eyes, and you just know. Or it may take awhile. At some point you find your fingers touching your co-worker’s while reaching for the same menu or sticky note or financial report. You just happen to “bump into each other” more and more in the hall or the break room....

Potty Mouths and More of 17th Century England — by Pam Roller

Hello My Dear Nugs,

In my endeavor to remain true to the tone and vocabulary of late 17th century England while maintaining “modern” English for the ease of my readers, I’ve come across a wonderful book entitled The First English Dictionary of Slang, 1699 (Bodleian Library, 2010). This book was originally written by B.E. Gent (Gentleman) in 1699 under the title of A New Dictionary of Terms, Ancient and Modern, of the Canting Crew, and its purpose was to educate the more refined London classes as to the language of thieves and ruffians—called ‘canting’. The book also contains common slang used by sailors, soldiers, laborers, and lower domestic households.

Stubble-it, you Princock! = Hold your tongue, you pert, forward fellow!

Ready for a few of these words and phrases? Here some samples (capitalization and spelling are from the book):

Handy Blows: Fisty-cuffs
Puke: to Spue
Fresh-man: a Novice, in the University
Baggage / Crack: a Whore or Slut
Cut: Drunk
Deep Cut: very Drunk
Night-walker: a Bell-man; also a Light Woman, a Thief, a Rogue
Bog-houses: Privies
Nooz’d, or caught in a Nooze: married; also Hanged
Punch-houses: Bawdy-houses
Rot-gut: very small or thin Beer
Scab: a sorry Wench, or Scoundril-Fellow
Farting-crackers: Breeches
Slubber-degullion: a slovenly, dirty, nasty Fellow
Princock: a pert, forward Fellow
Stubble-it: hold your Tongue
Bil-boa / Degen: a Sword
Bagonet or Bionet: a Dagger
Dag: a Gun
Twitter: to Laugh much with little Noise; also to Tremble
Vain-glorious, or Ostentatious Man: one that Pisses more than he Drinks
Clack: a Woman’s Tongue
Cull: a Man, a Fop, a Rogue; Fool or Silly Creature
Dells: young bucksome Wenches, ripe and prone to Venery, but have not lost their virginity, which the upright man pretends to, and seizes: Then she is free for any off the Fraternity; also a common Strumpet
Darkmans: The night
Dock: to lie with a Woman. The Cull Dockt the Dell in the Darkmans, the rogue lay with a Wench all night.
Oliver’s Skull: a Chamber-pot
Totty-headed: Giddy-headed, Hare-brain’d
Nug: A Word of Love, as, my Dear Nug, my Dear Love
Antidote: a very homely Woman, also a medicine against Poyson

Want to see more? Click here!

An Agonizing Journey with Dementia

When my mother and her (4th) husband married in 2002, she was a vibrant, quirky 70-year-old health nut who loved to shop, travel, cook, host parties, and regale her children with details of her sexual exploits. Today, she has an emergency appointment with the brain doctor one month before her regular visit for something to help calm her agitation, paranoia, and hallucinations. My mom is a shell of her former self. She is thin from forgetting to eat, and tense from trying to hide her belongin...

An Agonizing Journey with Dementia–Pam Roller

[image error]When my mother and her (4th) husband married in 2002, she was a vibrant, quirky 70-year-old health nut who loved to shop, travel, cook, host parties, and regale her children with details of her sexual exploits. Today, she has an emergency appointment with the brain doctor one month before her regular visit for something to help calm her agitation, paranoia, and hallucinations.

My mom is a shell of her former self. She is thin from forgetting to eat, and tense from trying to hide her belongings in the closet and under the bed to keep people from coming through the mirrors to steal her things. She is constantly angry over the woman she sees kissing her husband on the couch, is convinced a man named Gideon wants to take her house from her, and hoards food–roomfuls of food. She is also rapidly losing her short-term memory, coordination, and sense of self.

Eighteen months ago, Mom was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia. The medication she takes has slowed the disease, but as time goes on the rapidity of dementia’s effects are blowing us away. Last week we thought she’d have at least another year in her house; today we’re looking at nursing homes. The turning point, the doctor had told us, is when a person with the disease becomes a danger to herself and/or others. Last week, Mom went at her husband with a handful of kitchen knives. The action set us all into a surreal, warp speed mode where none of us have been before. We don’t know what to do; we’re groping in the dark and struggling to remain emotionally clear-headed, and the fact that we need to make hard decisions in the midst of the heartbreaking speed of her decline is absolute torture.

Are you the child or spouse of someone with a form of Lewy body disease, the second most common type of dementia after Alzheimer’s disease? I’d like to hear from you. How are you handling it?

Handling the Holidays

Ah, the joys of the holidays. The lights, the music, the sales, the chipper shoppers! Finding that perfect gift, singing carols, decorating the tree, wrapping presents, preparing for houseguests. All is merry and exhilarating and zippy. The big day approaches, and reality shows its ugly butt. The crowds, the noise, the traffic. The attitudes. The shoving. The incessant ding-a-ling of those little bells outside the stores. The jolly, hopeful songs you’d like to wrap your fingers around and tw...

Handling the Holidays — Pam Roller

Ah, the joys of the holidays. The lights, the music, the sales, the chipper shoppers! Finding that perfect gift, singing carols, decorating the tree, wrapping presents, preparing for house guests. All is merry and exhilarating and zippy.

The big day approaches, and reality shows its ugly butt. The crowds, the noise, the traffic. The attitudes. The shoving. The incessant ding-a-ling of those little bells outside the stores. The jolly, hopeful songs you’d like to wrap your fingers around and twist into some dark hardcore screamo. Snarling folks with tense, worried faces. Bank accounts diminishing, credit card debt rising. Uncle Henry’s teeth-gritting complaints of constipation after eating the entire bag of potato chips. What’s that in the back of the closet? Oh. Another damn present to wrap.

Joy, joy.

How do we get through it all without going off the deep end? Here are some tips from examiner.com and a few of my own:

Make lists and manage your time, including giving time to yourself. Extra time, if need be.
Adjust your expectations. We all want things to be perfect, but they rarely are. Just go with the flow.
Try smiling. Smiling gives you an emotional boost, and your smile will improve the stressed moods of all those around you.
Manage your alcohol intake. Too much drinking can lead to aggressive behavior and conflict.
Watch your spending. There’s no use going into debt trying to please others if it will affect your mind and body (and bank account) in a negative manner.
Ring that bell. The Salvation Army could use your help. Empathy and giving go a long way in dissipating anger and frustration.
Forgive. Holding a grudge against another only hurts you. Wash away the resentments and marvel in how much lighter is your heart.
Lack of self-confidence is the root of bullying and bad attitudes. Love and believe in yourself, and you’ll attract the good to you like a powerful magnet.
Acknowledge your feelings. You’re pissed off, disappointed, or sad. Or all three. Recognize how you feel, cry if you need to, yell it out into your pillow, and let it go.
Remember the reason for the season. Take some time and go to your quiet place, and reflect on how good life has been, or how good life will be. Positive thinking brings about positive things in your life.
Love. Your family, your friends, yourself. Just…love.

How about you? How do you handle the holidays?