Deesha Philyaw's Blog, page 4

Co-Parenting Challenge: Forgiveness...Beyond Your Ex & Yourself

I (Deesha) am currently co-presenting a workshop for women called Writing Through Your Divorce, and this past week our topic was forgiveness. The conventional advice related to forgiveness and co-parenting is that forgiving your ex and yourself will help you to move forward and not stay mired in your past relationship, and that this in turn will help you to do your part in creating a cooperative parenting partnership that is future- and child-focused. But I as I explored this issue of forgiv...

Co-Parenting Fail: An Open Letter to 50 Cent

Dear 50 Cent:

This will be brief because your epic co-parenting fail and what you need to do about it is pretty cut and dry.

In a recent text tirade, you spewed some incredibly vulgar and hateful words at your son Marquise and his mother. Now that the transcript of your texts have been exposed, you're saying that the text exchange was with Marquise's mother who was pretending to be Marquise--and that you're writing Marquise out of your will. I'm familiar with the games that some co-parents pla...

Co-Parenting IMPOSSIBLE!

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On this month's episode of "Co-Parenting Matters," we're discussing the hard cases, the tough nuts to crack, the brick walls...you get the idea. When you've tried to communicate and cooperate with your ex to no avail, or when substance abuse, mental illness, or domestic violence is a factor in your co-parenting situation, you may feel powerless to protect your children from the emotional distress and other consequences relaed to your ex's behavior. Co-parenting may seem impossible.

But the goo...

A Co-Parenting Dad Offers Tips for Healthy Shared Parenting

Friend of Co-Parenting 101 Kaleb Hill helps us wrap up Dads' Month with this reflection on his co-parenting experience and advice for others who are parenting after a break-up.

This November will mark 11 years of me being a parent to my son. I have had the pleasure of sharing the duties that come along with parenting. I always had fond memories when it came to his mother. She never had to force me to have a relationship with him; it was something that came natural to me. If anything, she encou...

"Trayvon Martin’s Parents are Still Co-Parenting—Through Death and Zimmerman’s Trial"

We don’t know what Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin’s co-parenting situation was like before Trayvon’s death. If it was a high-conflict situation, that surely doesn’t matter now. In a very public and united way, Fulton and Martin are grieving and seeking justice on behalf of their son, as co-parents, regardless of the circumstances that ended their marriage in 1999, and regardless of what has transpired between them since. And there’s a lesson for all co-parents in this.

from Deesha's guest po...

"I Always Miss My Son’s Father": A Father's Day Tribute

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We asked Friend of Co-Parenting 101, @phatkeke to share a Father's Day reflection with our readers. We are honored to present her moving tribute.

Father’s Day. Typically this day is very difficult: the father of my son was killed in a car crash in 2009. Each year it gets a little easier. Acceptance came slowly and peacefully. Years 2 and 3 felt like a gentle, ebbing, release of pain and brought the freedom to smile and laugh again. It also brought love. My husband. My stepchildren. As always,...

Co-Parenting Moms: A Special Workshop Just for You!

[image error]Even though we're gearing up to celebrate dads, we want to share with you some early-bird details about my (Deesha's) collaboration with Friend of Co-Parenting 101, Magda Pecsenye (AskMoxie), that's especially for women. Today, Magda and I are opening registration forWriting Through Your Divorce, our new online workshop for women!

If you're anywhere in the process of divorce (from pre-paperwork to years out) and you'd like to use the discipline of writing to both process and create written pie...

We're Celebrating Co-Parenting Dads!

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This coming Sunday is Father's Day, but we're continuing the celebration into next weekend with our "Celebrating Dads" episode of "Co-Parenting Matters" show on BlogTalkRadio. Mike will host a dadtastic* discussion with co-parenting dads Anderson Fils-Aime, a housing and political activist and father of two; and Keith Reed, also a father of two, and a senior editor for ESPN The Magazine. The show will air live on Sunday, June 23 @ 8:30 PM EST.

Father's Day is another great opportunity to refle...

Co-Parenting in the Best Interest of the Child: What Does It Really Mean?

Deesha has a guest post at Since My Divorce on the topic of "a child's best interest":

The foundation of co-parenting rests on a bit of legalese: “In a child’s best interest.” Generally speaking, the family court system puts forth that when parents are no longer together, their decisions and actions as parents should promote, and not hinder, their children’s physical, emotional, and educational well-being. This premiseseems simple enough. What parent wouldn’t want to support their child’s well...

Co-Parenting Quote of the Day: "I know Papi is a jerk..."

"I know Papi is a jerk, but I don't want anyone else to call him a jerk."--Angel (not her real name), age 10

Nuff said.