Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 80
April 10, 2013
Lunchboxing Power Tools
Are the kids at school making fun of your progeny because the Pikachu rice ball you tried to make looked more like Godzilla? Did the teacher send home a note about not making lunch characters that scare the other children, when all you were tying to do was make that hot dog look like a friendly octopus? Or maybe you just can’t face one more day of getting up at 5:00 a.m. to unpack your tweezers and nail scissors to start crafting the daily edible art project.
Tokyu Hands to the rescue! Here are a few products guaranteed to double the cuteness score of even the lamest mom.
Remember how many different swear words you had to use before you gave up trying to cut those puppy lips out of seaweed? Curse no more! Here are face punches for every occasion!
For top-scoring cuteness without tearing all your hair out, smush some rice into these adotable bear and bunny molds, then use the punches to make their eyes, nose, mouth and accessories.
You’d have to be utterly hopeless not to be able to churn out perfect little baby pandas every time with this handy mold and cutter set.
This one makes it even easier – all you have to do is squeeze some rice into vague little lumps, then cut a wrapper out of cheeses or ham as a disguise.
Best of all, this tool is a soy sauce stencil! No patting those rice balls into exotic shapes, no cutting itsy bitsy decorations out of seaweed. All you have to do is cram some rice into a little Tupperware, then sprinkle soy sauce though the holes in the stencil!
April 8, 2013
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Host Fashion
Fallen Angel readers are asking what it’s really like to go to a host club, so in addition to my usual daily Japan blurbs, I’m writing a series of blog posts on the Top Ten Host Club Questions. Today’s is:
Why do hosts dress like that?
Hosts aim to deliver the Japanese version of a customer’s secret fantasy, and if yours is to be swept away by a handsome prince or Wild One on his motorcycle, all you have to do is step into any host club to make your dreams come true. Although there are specialized clubs for cosplayers who like anime characters, vampires or gothic aristocrats, at the moment, most hosts dress either in “Prince” (ooji-sama) or “Bad Boy” (yanqi) style.
Ooji-sama hosts take their cue from visual kei musicians. “Beautiful” rather than “handsome” might be the word that springs to mind to describe them. They often strikes Westerners as androgynous, their faces as smooth as a woman’s, hair extravagantly bleached and arranged. Prince-style hosts favor sparkly accessories – silver, never gold – and tend to dress in suits made of “luxe” shiny fabric. The current rage is for the jackets to look a size too small, and to wear some sort of “alternative” tie as an accessory. Fake fur mufflers, silk scarves, cravats and other non-standard neckties are common.
Yanqis, on the other hand, tend toward black leather vests with silver studs and spikes, v-neck t-shirts featuring edgy sayings mixed with (go figure) “Catholic” images, boots, piercings and even tattoos.
Both wear their hair long, extravagantly waxed, teased, sprayed into a perfection rivaled only by the most devoted Texas debutante.
This ad for a group of clubs with the same owner shows the wide range of hair colors and styles. Prince-style host hair tends to be lighter and longer; Bad Boy hair is often shorter and dark. All hosts come in to work early so the hair and makeup artist has time to wax, tease, style and spray their hair into perfect shape for the evening ahead. Their combos of industrial-hold hair products ensure that they look as good at midnight as they did when the club opened. Photo: ad from Men’s Spider magazine
Whether you’re a Prince or a Bad Boy, you can’t afford to have a bad hair day or a pizza face attack. Like being a model or actor, it’s a matter of professional necessity to look as ideal as possible. Hosts often use makeup, glue their eyelids to make their eyes look bigger, and wear colored circle contacts for dramatic effect. Photo: Men’s Spider magazine
Typical Prince shoes on the left, Bad Boy boots on the right. The reason they’re so long and pointy is that Japanese feet tend to be short and wide, but it’s believed that long and narrow is more attractive. In Japanese shoe stores, it’s the biggest size that’s always put out on display, not the smallest!Photos: Rakuten website page for Love Hunter shoes
Princes always dress in suits; Bad Boys dress more casually, often in black shirts, or white v-neck t-shirts under black vests. Photos: Men’s Spider magazine
Prince on the left, Bad Boy on the right. Prince designs often feature crowns, stars and “nice” crosses, while Bad Boys prefer skulls, swords, demons and crucifixes. All prefer silver to gold. Photo on right: Men’s Spider magazine
Tomorrow’s question: A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?
More from the TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS series:
Why do women go to host clubs?
What kind of women go to host clubs?
What’s it like to visit a host club?
How expensive is it to go to a host club?
What is a host club “champagne call”?
Can foreigners get into a host club?
How do I find a good host club?
Host fashion: Why do hosts dress like that?
Top photos courtesy of Men’s Knuckle and Men’s Spider magazines.
April 7, 2013
Weirdest. Beauty. Treatment. Ever.
Wait, eww, what are those fish doing?
They’re, uh, giving me a pedicure.
What? A pedicure? Haha, yeah, right, they’re fluttering around beautifying your feet? With their little fishie nail files?
They do it with their mouths.
What?! They’re biting you? What are they, baby sharks? You stuck your feet in a pool of sharks?
Not sharks, “therapy fish.” They zoom in and nibble off the dead skin with their little fish lips.
No. No, no, no, no, no. That’s disgusting. I want to un-hear that. Did it hurt?
No, it tickled.
Tickled.
Actually, I have to admit, it was a little more squicky than tickling. In fact, I sort of screamed when I first put my feet in the water and they all started swarming around. For the whole time I had to try pretty hard not to think of the word “squirming.” Or, uh, “worms.”
How long was “the whole time”?
Fifteen minutes.
Did it work?
When I got out, all the parts that were underwater were noticeably smoother! You should try it.
That’s what you always say, and look where it got me. Remember the snail slime face mask?
I rest my case.
Family therapy. Check out the mom’s reaction!
I was back out in Odaiba yesterday doing some fact checking for the third book in my Only In Tokyo mystery series, which needs to get finished in time for Penguin/InterMix to publish it in September AIEEEE! Yumi Hata won’t be getting a fish pedicure, but she will be discovering something shocking about a missing music idol at the always-entertaining Oedo Onsen…
The fish therapy hut is outside in the courtyard by the foot bath stream. Fifteen minutes costs ¥1575 for adults, ¥1050 for children. If you want to visit the Oedo Onsen or Odaiba the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions and more pictures are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.
April 6, 2013
How Do I Find A Good Host Club?
Fallen Angel readers are asking what it’s really like to go to a host club, so in addition to my usual daily Japan blurbs, I’m writing a series of blog posts on the Top Ten Host Club Questions. Today’s is:
How do I find a good host club?
It’s a well-kept secret that there’s a website with listings for host clubs in cities all over Japan. It’s called HostXHost. Naturally, it’s in Japanese…but fear not! I can show you how to navigate the highways and byways to get a feel for the hosts and their clubs!
Here’s what the home screen looks like.
Find the button that certifies you’re a legal adult (in Japan, that’s anyone over twenty) and click. Scroll down the next page until you see the “Area Gate” pictures.
Click on the city where you want to find a club. Tokyo actually has two buttons – one for Kabuki-chō, the area east of Shinjuku Station that’s the host club capital of Japan (190 clubs), and one for the rest of the city (66 clubs spread out over Shibuya, Ikebukuro, Roppongi, etc.)
Once you’ve chosen your search area, a page will come up with various ways to find the host or host club of your dreams. If you scroll down, you’ll first encounter the Ranking pictures.
In the city you chose, among all the hosts working there, these dudes are the top five. They change every week, after the previous week’s earnings are tallied up.
Scrolling down further, you’ll come across section for new clubs that have just opened, upcoming host club events in the area, host videos, and finally, the Host Club List. Look them over, pick one for starters and click on it.
It will take you to that club’s home page. They all have a standard format.
In the column to the right you’ll find basic information about the club. Shop Information lists the phone number, address, and other info you’ll need to contact the club to make a reservation and get there. Shop News lists which days the club will be closed that month.
Below the main banner photo with the club’s name are pictures of all the hosts who work at the club. The current top five are in the top row, listed in order.
Below are the rest of the staff, also ranked in order of popularity, as determined by the almighty tally of drink sales in the past week.
Now click on any of the photos, and that host’s page comes up to give you a lot more information about him. Not just his name and a few more pictures, but also his contact information (mobile phone number, email, LINE ID) and any personal information he wants to share. For example, let’s pick Yuzuki-san:
Name: Yuzuki
Birthday: September 6,1991 (21 years old)
Height: 183cm
Blood type: AB
Astrology sign: Virgo
Looks: 5 stars
Sense of humor: 5 stars
Drinking ability: 5 stars
Q: What did you do before you were a host? A. Hair stylist
Q: Where are you from? A. Yamagata prefecture
Q: What are you into right now? A. Being a host
Q: What’s something you’re good at? A. Making people laugh at my jokes.
Q. Are you S? M? A. L
Q. What type of women do you like? A. I like girls who are real, not artificial.
Q. What most attracts you to a woman? A. Legs
Q. What do you give yourself as a reward? A. A drink
Q. What kind of a host do you want to be? A. I want to be a kind and gentle host.
***
Ooo, I’m in love! Let’s go meet him! But first we should take a look at his club’s introductory first-time special rate. Click on the next tab to get to the “System” page.
Hours: 7:00 p.m. – midnight
Open every day except: Monday, national holidays
First time special price: 2 hours/¥3,000 (includes a choice of saké, shōchū, or brandy);
If you come with a regular club customer who already has a primary entertainer, the price is ¥5,000 for “free time” (as long as you want to stay) with the same choice of drinks. Special events nights are excluded from these first-time offers.
Regular club entry fee: ¥7,000 for “free time” (no time limit)
Table charge: ¥4,000
Request a particular host: ¥2,000/¥3,000
Tax: 35%
Sales tax: 5%
***
You might be wondering how one drink is supposed to last you two hours. Seems kind of un-festive, doesn’t it? But actually, it’s not one drink, it’s a small bottle. Every host who visits your table will refresh your drink and pour himself one from it. If you run out, you can ask the host you’re with about ordering another one. Naturally, you’ll have to pay more if you drink more than what’s included in the “set” price. It’s okay to discreetly ask your host the price before ordering, so you don’t get in over your head.
You also might be wondering why there’s an entry fee plus a table charge. Do some customers stand up all night in order to avoid paying ¥4,000 just to sit down? In fact, this pricing is a nice feature for women who come in groups. Everybody has to pay her own entry fee, but they can split the cost of a table.
***
Now that you’ve got the hang of checking out the talent and the prices for visiting a club, let’s see what else there is to entertain us on HostXHost. The tab next to the System tab (the one labeled イベント) will take you to a page listing upcoming club events (host birthdays, anniversaries, seasonal parties). Next to the Event tab is one called “Topics.” If you click on that one, it takes you to a page with a selection of write-ups about recent club outings and parties.
They’re all written in Japanese, of course, but the pictures are often quite entertaining. They’ll give you an idea about the personalities of some of the hosts and atmosphere at the club.
Next is a tab called “Gravure.” It’ll take you to photos of the club’s hosts doing professional modeling for mens’ magazines and fashion brands.
The next tab takes you to videos of individual hosts and/or club events.
Now that you know your way around, happy hunting! (^_-)
I’ve spent way more hours than I want to admit on this site, but of course I like to call it “book research” bwahahaha. If you’ve read Fallen Angel, the second book in my Only In Tokyo mystery series, the pictures on HostXHost will show you real-life examples of Shinya’s anniversary event, and paint a vivid picture of the world where Hoshi makes his living. If you haven’t yet read Fallen Angel and are curious about what it’s really like inside the world of host and hostess clubs, read more here!
***
Tomorrow’s question: Host fashion: Why do hosts dress like that?
Already posted in the TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS series:
Why do women go to host clubs?
What kind of women go to host clubs?
What’s it like to visit a host club?
How expensive is it to go to a host club?
What is a host club “champagne call”?
Can foreigners get into a host club?
Still to come:
A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?
Toylet Paper
For all the bathroom warriors and powder room princesses in your household.
April 5, 2013
How Can I Go To A Host Club?
Tomoya-san, me, and my secret weapon, Yuki, at the Excellent Club Zero!
Fallen Angel readers are starting to ask what it’s really like to go to a host club, so in addition to my usual daily Japan blurbs, I’m writing a series of blog posts on the Top Ten Host Club Questions. Today’s question is:
How can I go to a host club?
It’s not impossible for a foreigner to go to a host club, but the best way to do it is to ask a Japanese female friend to take you. If you go with a Japanese woman, she can make the reservation and ask the club if it’s all right to bring a foreign guest.
She will basically be taking responsibility for making sure you understand the rules and behave like a Japanese customer. If any issue arises, the club employees can whisper in her ear and she can explain to you, without any unpleasantries. Even if you speak Japanese, it’s easier for the host to filter any difficulties through a fellow Japanese person than address you directly, because a friend can say things that a stranger can’t.
And actually, it’s more fun to go with a Japanese friend – not just because everybody will be more relaxed and you’ll have a better time, but I’ve found that when I go places with a Japanese person, we have much more interesting experiences than if we were both Japanese or both foreign. The hosts were as curious about me (a real live foreign women!) as I was about them. And because I had a Japanese friend with me, they didn’t have to worry about how good my Japanese was, so the hosts weren’t afraid to ask about my life after I asked them about theirs.
What about men? Can a man go to a host club? Some clubs might allow it, if you go with a Japanese woman and check with the club beforehand. As a rule, though, men are not welcome, even Japanese men.
***
Tomorrow’s question: How do I choose a host club?
Already posted in the TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS series:
Why do women go to host clubs?
What kind of women go to host clubs?
What’s it like to visit a host club?
How expensive is it to go to a host club?
What is a host club “champagne call”?
Can foreigners get into a host club?
Still to come:
Host fashion: Why do hosts dress like that?
A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?
Tokyo At Night: Odaiba
Tokyo is not a beautiful city, but at night it’s transformed into a glittering jewel of a place. This is the view from Odaiba, as the dinner boats set off down the Sumidagawa River.
Lights made a glittering archway at Palette Town.
The ferris wheel outside Zepp Tokyo, lit up in brilliant neon.
The towering Gundam robot near Tokyo Teleport station.
These twin towers remind me of an arcology out of a William Gibson future.
The ferris wheel puts on a light show all night long.
If you want to visit Odaiba the next time you’re in Tokyo, more pictures and directions on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had . I was out there today doing some fact checking for the third book in my Only In Tokyo mystery series, due out in September 2013.
April 4, 2013
Can Foreigners Get Into A Host Club?
In pictures taken at host clubs, customers’ faces are always fuzzed out to protect their privacy. Not everybody wants their grandma or their boss to know just what kind of fun they’re having in their spare time!
Fallen Angel readers are starting to ask what it’s really like to go to a host club, so in addition to my usual daily Japan blurbs, I’m writing a series of blog posts on the Top Ten Host Club Questions. Today’s question is:
Can foreigners get into a host club?
It’s possible, but it ain’t easy.
Why? Isn’t my money as good as the next girl’s?
Well, for starters, there’s a bit of a language issue. While there might be a few hosts who speak languages other than Japanese, most guys who go into the host business come from places where they didn’t meet many foreigners (if any), and most hosts weren’t exactly the class grind in high school. So while you think it would be a lot of fun to drink with them even if you have to communicate in sign language, the idea of having to entertain a scary foreigner without being able to use the gift of gab he’s so good at strikes fear into the heart of the bravest host. Clubs don’t want to put their staff into a position that they’re not equipped to handle, so as a rule, foreigners aren’t welcome. Even if you walk down a street in Kabuki-chō where dandies are accosting every other girl who walks by, most of them won’t even make eye contact with you if you’re a foreigner, let alone hand you a flyer for their club.
But what if I can speak Japanese?
Seems like that would solve the problem, right? But the second reason most clubs exclude foreigners is cultural. There are definite rules of behavior at a host club, but they’re unspoken. Japanese customers all know what’s allowed and what isn’t, but foreigners might not. Host clubs want to avoid situations where a customer does something that makes it unpleasant not only for her own host, but for the rest of the customers as well.
Imagine, if you will, a tipsy foreigner demonstrating just what she did last year in a Ft. Lauderdale bar during Spring Break. Or a customer who mistakes her host’s flirtatious attentions for a genuine invitation to take it all to the next level. And what about a customer who doesn’t understand the system, so she tries to order a drink, then thinks it’s outrageous she’s expected to buy the bottle? Or a customer who whips out her credit card at the end of the evening, only to find out that it’s cash only and she’s thousands short. The idea of having to deal with any of these situations is horrifying enough, but to have to do it with a customer who doesn’t speak Japanese is unthinkable. It’s easier just to say no to all foreigners than to take the chance someone will ruin everybody’s evening.
Yeah, but what if I speak Japanese, and I’ve read all your tips, and I’ve diligently checked out the do’s and don’ts and prices on the club’s website? There’s no reason they shouldn’t be happy to have me as a customer, right?
You’d think so, but the third reason foreigners aren’t particularly welcome is economic. Host clubs don’t make money on people who come once for the novelty of it. Their business is built on customers who come back again and again, who develop a (costly) relationship with a host. And they know most foreigners balk at paying host club rates for the kind of attention they expect to get for free from their boyfriends/husbands.
But I still want to go! Are you telling me it’s impossible?
No. Read on. Tomorrow’s question: How can I go to a host club?
Already posted in the TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS series:
Why do women go to host clubs?
What kind of women go to host clubs?
What’s it like to visit a host club?
How expensive is it to go to a host club?
What is a host club “champagne call”?
Still to come:
How can I go to a host club?
How do I choose a club to go to?
Host fashion: Why do hosts dress like that?
A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?
Photo courtesy of Oh! Club! Host Walker website.
Strange Sandwiches Of Japan
Yes, recently, this kind of corn and mayonnaise sandwich really is being sold in just about every convenience store in Japan. But that’s not the only non-PB&J you’ll find around these here parts.
A perennial classic, the yakisoba (Japanese fried spaghetti) roll comes with a garnish of red pickle bits.
The recent pancake craze has spawned a line of “hot cake sand” that includes these two flapjacks filled with…Camembert Cheese Cream and Honey Margarine?
Or let’s forget putting anything nutritious in it altogether! Behold the bun filled with plain unadulterated whipped cream.
And my favorite: two pieces of white bread wrapped around a filling of Milk Jam, a mystery filling distantly related to some dairy product. This has to be the ultimate in white food.
Stange Sandwiches Of Japan
Yes, recently, this kind of corn and mayonnaise sandwich really is being sold in just about every convenience store in Japan. But that’s not the only non-PB&J you’ll find around these here parts.
A perennial classic, the yakisoba (Japanese fried spaghetti) roll comes with a garnish of red pickle bits.
The recent pancake craze has spawned a line of “hot cake sand” that includes these two flapjacks filled with…Camembert Cheese Cream and Honey Margarine?
Or let’s forget putting anything nutritious in it altogether! Behold the bun filled with plain unadulterated whipped cream.
And my favorite: two pieces of white bread wrapped around a filling of Milk Jam, a mystery filling distantly related to some dairy product. This has to be the ultimate in white food.
