Guy Portman's Blog, page 42
July 11, 2014
Fajitas, Fascists and The Future
London – Thursday – I get on the bus and take £2.40 out of my pocket for the fare. The driver informs me London buses are now cash free.
‘So you’re a comedian now,’ reply I, attempting to hand over the money as I do so.
He shakes his head glumly and says, ‘No cash’.
A number of the other passengers nod in agreement. I ask, ‘Why?’
The driver tells me 99% of passengers find it more convenient to pay with Oyster cards (travel cards). My Oyster card is at home.
‘And the other 1%?’ I enquire.
My questio...
July 4, 2014
Lake Como
Last week I went on holiday to Lake Como in Italy.
After being led on a wild goose chase by my rental car’sGPS system I finally arrived at my destination.
I found the lake to be a tranquil and serene place.
Having checked into my hotel I headed out into town, where I found a bar at the top of a long flight of steps. This is a picture of your esteemed author posing with umbrella half way up the steps.
The bar’s cavernous interior boasted a dizzying selection of vino. There were a lot of customers...
June 27, 2014
Bizarre Author Deaths IX
I have stated on several occasions that there would be no further instalments to the Bizarre Author Deaths series. However, it has since come to my attention that I have omitted two authors. Here they are.
Petronius
Circa 27 AD – 66 AD
Notable works: Satyricon.
Gaius Petronius Arbiter was a Roman courtier during the reign of the Emperor Nero. Petronius belonged to a group of pleasure seekers whom Seneca described as ‘men who turn night into day’. He also held a number of official positions, inclu...
June 20, 2014
Harrods
On Wednesday afternoon I went toHarrods. This is what I did there.
In the Ladurée cafe on the first floor I came across this dizzying array of macaroons (see below). In my experience macaroons are a bit like wild mushrooms, in that the dullest looking ones are normallythe best and the alluringly bright onesare usually the most virulent. I briefly contemplate warning the lady in front of me to reconsider her selection of a strawberry macaroon (they taste like washing up liquid) and to instead g...
June 13, 2014
Controversial Authors (Part 7)
This week’s blog post sees the latest instalment of my popular Controversial Authors series. It will likely be the last. However, as you may be aware from my never-ending Bizarre Author Death series, I am partial to changing my mind, and there may be a further instalment, or possibly two at some point.
Aristophanes
Circa 446 BC – 386 BC
Notable works: The Clouds, The Birds, The Frogs, Lysistrata
Often referred to as ‘the father of comedy’, Aristophanes was an ancient Athenian comic playwright, wh...
June 6, 2014
Banks, Politics and The World Cup
Tuesday Morning 11:50am – I am walking to the bank. There is a newspaper discarded on a bench at the bus stop. I pick it up. The queue at the bank stretches nearly to the door. I take the opportunity to peruse the paper. It appears that half of Europe is in the midst of political change. The Greeks are refusing to accept austerity measures. Marine Le Pen’s far-right National Front scored its first victory in European Parliament elections in France. And over here the rise of UKIP, could be the...
May 30, 2014
New Curtains and Blinds
Tuesday Morning – The new curtains and blinds finally arrive. It seems an eternity ago that I ordered them, probably because it was. An hour or so later curtains and blinds have been erected downstairs. They look great, well worth the wait.
The fitter is putting the finishing touches to the Roman Blind when I walk into the upstairs room that serves as my study. I like it. He explains that it is the legal requirement that the string pulley system be at least 150cm from the ground. This is to pr...
May 23, 2014
Controversial Authors (Part 6)
In recent weeks I have written aboutvarious subjects including social media and my recently released satirical black comedy, Necropolis. This week’s blog post seesthe latest instalment of the Controversial Authors series.
Goethe
(August 28th 1749 – March 22nd 1832)
Notable works: The Sorrows of Young Werther, Faust, Westlöstlicher Diwan, Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship
Johan Wolfgang von Goethe was a German writer and statesman. His prolific and versatile writing, included works of prose, poetry...
May 16, 2014
New Twitter Species Discovered
Followers of my blog will be only too aware of my Twitter obsession. I have devoted posts to how my fellow authors use Twitter to market their books, Twitter annoyances, in addition to several posts about the various species that inhabit the Twittersphere.
Several weeks agoa Twitter friend mentioned to me that random Tweets she was sending, which were utterly irrelevant to anyone but the intended recipient, were being RTd by others.
Without further ado I collected my specimen net, donned my Vic...
May 9, 2014
WholeFoods
I previously stated this week’s post was going to be about marketing on social media – well I’ve changed my mind. In recent months I have written numerous posts about social media, particularly Twitter, in addition to discussing my recently released satirical black comedy, Necropolis.
This week I am going with something quite different, namely my recent WholeFoods experiences. If I had beenon safari in the Serengeti, I would no doubt blog about the big cats, and the herds of galloping zebras k...
