Guy Portman's Blog, page 16

Beat The January Blues

Just a quick reminder about my ongoing FREE humour book promotion (ends Jan. 31). I have teamed up with some fellow UK humour authors to offer you a selection of 19 FREE humour books. The offer includes one of mine. Click on the link below to discover which of my humorous offerings it is, and to view the other hilarious options, consisting of comedy novellas, short stories, and a few full reads.

BEAT THE JANUARY BLUES FREE BOOK LINK

[image error]

Click on the book cover you want and follow the instructio...

19 Free Humour Books For You

I have teamed up with some fellow UK humour authors to offer you a selection of 19 humour books for FREE. The offer includes one of mine. Click on the link below to discover which of my humorous offerings it is, and to view the other hilarious options, consisting of comedy novellas, short stories, and a few full reads. They are available for free for a limited time only. All you have to do is click on the book cover you want and follow the instructions to receive your free book/s (Mobi/ePub/P...

12 Funny One Star Book Reviews

Here is the latest instalment in my amusing one star famous book review series. I hope you find the following reviews as amusing as I do.

[image error]

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger – ‘I would rather read the dictionary.’

Othello by William Shakespeare – ‘…, the whole plot just didn’t make sense. Get your shit together Othello.’

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
–  ‘Would I get into trouble if I strangled Little Prince and his syrupy philosophy. The flower I have already trampled.’

U...

My Plans For 2019

Happy New Year everyone.

‘May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.’ – Joey Adams

This, my first blog post of 2019, is about my plans for this year. With regards writing, I plan to release my sixth book later this year. I released two in 2018 (Sepultura & Tomorrow’s World). Golgotha will be the third and final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy. It will feature suave sociopath Dyson Devereux. The first part, Necropolis, has 100+ reviews on Goodreads. Part two, Sepu...

The 20 Books I Read In 2018

As is my custom at year end, I am dedicating this blog post to the books I read this year. I have been pretty busy in 2018, what with releasing two books (Sepultura & Tomorrow’s World) and various writing gigs. However, I did find time to read 20 books. Click on the links to read my reviews. They are presented in the order in which I read them:

Skagboys by Irvine Welsh (2012) – This is the prequel to Trainspotting. It is set in the 1980s against a backdrop of Thatcherism, the rise of dance mu...

The Books I Read In 2018

As is my custom at year end, I am dedicating this blog post to the books I read this year. I have been pretty busy in 2018, what with releasing two books (Sepultura & Tomorrow’s World) and various writing gigs. However, I did find time to read 20 books. Click on the links to read my reviews. They are presented in the order in which I read them:

Skagboys by Irvine Welsh (2012) – This is the prequel to Trainspotting.
It is set in the 1980s against a backdrop of Thatcherism, the rise of dance mu...

My Favourite Books IV

This week’s post is dedicated to 6 of my favourite books. I am an avid reader and writer of dark humour and Transgressive Fiction, and this is reflected in the majority of my choices. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Fire In The Hole by Elmore Leonard

[image error]

This is a compilation of nine short, authentic and atmospheric, American-based, crime-themed stories. The book is named after its longest title, Fire In The Hole, the inspiration for the television series Justified. Click here to read my...

15 of Literature’s Funniest Quotes

Some time back, I dedicated a number of posts to literature’s funniest quotes. This week I have compiled what I regard as the highlights from those posts. Here are 15 of literature’s funniest quotes:

He receives comfort like cold porridge — The Tempest by William Shakespeare

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams  

[image error]

‘Matteo’s not that type of Italian,’ replies Fraser. ‘He’s more the sort yo...

12 Entertaining One Star Book Reviews

This week’s post is dedicated to more amusing one star book reviews. I have previously devoted two posts to the subject. I found the following reviews entertaining, and I hope you will too.

[image error]

Ulysses by James Joyce – ‘This is a tough book to read unless you understand several languages and are on LSD.’

The Bible – ‘Author is erratic in his writing, the plot goes nowhere, the characters are clearly plagiarised from other books of its genre, it is gory and certainly not recommended for children....

That Friday Feeling

I don’t know why I just gave my post the title, That Friday Feeling. Probably because I couldn’t think of anything else. This time last week I was lamenting Black Friday, and comparing it to the Black Death. This week, I want to mention another American invasive species. But, unlike Black Friday this one is most welcome on these shores. If you haven’t tried Five Guys already, I strongly suggest you do so, unless you’re vegetarian or vegan that is. Yesterday, whilst gorging on the below, I tri...