L.Y. Levand's Blog, page 38

November 21 Interview with Russel Elkins

Open Adoption, Open Heart

The world of adoption has changed dramatically over the past twenty years. No longer do biological parents have to say goodbye to their child forever. They now have more options when deciding the type of adoption to pursue, such as open adoption. Open adoption creates the opportunity for a special relationship between biological parents, the adoptive parents, and the child.

 Open Adoption, Open Heart is an inspiring and true story, which takes the reader deeper into the feelings and emotions experienced by adoptive parents. As you read this incredible story, you will experience the joys, difficulties, and amazing victories facing adoptive couples. Russell and his wife, Jammie, invite you to share in their inspiring and heartwarming journey.



Interview with Author Russel Elkins

#1: What made you decide to write this book?
I knew while we were going through the adoption process that our story had to be told. I love to write, so that's the kind of thing my mind thinks of. The main reason I knew it had to be told was because we, just like the vast majority of people, didn't know adoption is different now than it used to be. We didn't know it was different and we didn't know what it was like. This book isn't to tell people what to do. Have you ever been so engulfed in a book that when you finally put it down you had to remind yourself you weren't actually there in the wild west or out in space or wherever? Well, living through a story is the best way to understand what it's like, and that's what this book does. Experiencing our trials and emotions and everything first hand is the best way to help people know what adoption is like now. The days of there being no connection between biological parents and adoptive families is in the past, for the most part.

#2: What would you say made your adoption, specifically, different from those in the past?
The birth mother of our son, Brianna, lived clear across the country from us and every state has its own adoption laws. Being just 15 years old, she really wanted to choose adoption, but the laws and other circumstances in her state were really complicating things. So, after brainstorming some ideas, she came out to where we live here in Idaho. Not only did she come here to have the baby, but to avoid traveling within the last 2 months of her pregnancy, she came 2 months before the birth and guess who she stayed with... yup. We had another place lined up for her to stay, but we hit it off so well that she just stayed with us through Christmans and New Years and up till the birth. Talk about really getting to know each other!

#3: Did your adopted child have contact with their birth parents? And how did that affect your family?
we still talk all the time. My wife talks to Brianna a lot more than I do, and our 2 year old son isn't really much of a telephone talker yet, but we talk and internet chat, Facebook, blog, all that stuff. We have a blog set up just for her to share with her photos and news and everything like that.

#4: What would you say was the most important lesson you learned from both your adoption, and writing Open Adoption, Open Heart?
Open adoption is not just something that you do. It's not just something that happens and you move on with your life. It's something that changes the path your life is heading on. The day our child was placed into our home was not the end of our adoption story- just like it's not the end of the book. It's actually the middle. The relationship we have built with the birth mother is absolutely 100% priceless for all of us involved, yet, it did take work to get there and it's amazing.

#5: How do you feel about reaching people with your work who haven't adopted and don't plan to?
When I set out writing this book, my main focus was on people planning to adopt. That changed drastically, though, with the process. I would say more people who have not and who do not plan to adopt have actually read it than people who have adopted. Not just that, but I've loved the feedback I've gotten from biological parents of adopted children. Like I said, this book isn't meant to tell people how to do it, or even that they should do it. My goal with the book is to help the world know how amazing adoption is and what it's like now. In fact, in a way, reaching those who are not connected to adoption is more important to me than anything because all too often unexpected pregnancies battle the question of raising the baby or aborting the baby. Everyone knows what adoption is, but it's still not something people ponder very often. There is this third option, when the time and situation is right, and it's the most amazing thing someone can go through.

#6: What advice would you give to people who can't decide whether or not to adopt?
Read people's stories, for starters. Adoption is not for everyone. And for those who do adopt, open adoption is not for everyone. There are all kinds of open adoption- meaning that there are many different levels of open in adoption. Our adoption, being as open as it is, is in the small percentage that are so wide open, but that's what's right for our home. You need to decide for yourself what is right for your home- what you can handle- what's good for yourself and your kids, etc. The best way to come to know those things is to live through it through someone else's story. That's why I wrote our story the way I did.

#7: Who do you think will benefit the most from reading your book?
I originally thought that answer would be- the person considering adoption. Now, after it's been out for a few months, though, the answer seems to be- those who think we open adoption people are crazy. Ha ha. I mean, lots of people have given me feedback saying if they were to adopt, that they wouldn't have it so open, but reading our story in its detail they say, "but now I know why you did." Any reader will be able to take a ride through our story and think what they would do if they were in our shoes.

#8: When would say was the most difficult time for you and your family, and how did you overcome it?
I'd say it was the day after we came home from the hospital. It's told in greater detail in the book, but basically Brianna (who started staying with a friend after the birth until it was time to go back to her home state) came over to visit and she was really second guessing her decision. It wasn't too late for her to change her mind and as she held our son she kept whispering to him "I don't know if I can let you go", saying that over and over. We were obviously very worried and very attached, but there was nothing we could have done legally even if we wanted to. She still had the rights, and that was the way it should be. We were immediately attached to our son, but that right still belonged to Brianna if she wanted to change her mind (and rightfully so at that point). It was very nerve racking, but worried ourselves to sleep for days and days. She will be the first to tell you, and she's told us more times than I can count, that she's glad she went through with it and it was the best decision she's ever made. We're glad too, of course. We sure love adoption and everything it has done for our humble little home.


Purchase Amazon * Author's Website
 Amazon Kindle * Barnes & Noble


From the Author: While my book's primary audience was thought to be those hoping to adopt, close to half of the books I've sold are simply people who want to read about our story and how adoption is different now than it used to be- and they have not adopted nor do they plan to adopt.



About the Author:

Russell Elkins was born on Andrews Air Force Base near Washington, D.C., in the fall of 1977. Along with his five siblings, he and his military family moved around a lot, living in eight different houses by the time he left for college at age 17. Although his family movedaway from Fallon, Nevada, just a few months after he moved out, he still considers that little oasis in the desert to be his childhood hometown. He and his family now live in the Boise, Idaho area.

Russell has always been a family man at heart, looking forward to the day when he could be a husband and a father. It took him a little while, but eventually his eyes locked onto a beautiful blonde, and he has never looked away. Russell and Jammie were married in 2004. Years of struggling with infertility left Russell and Jammie with a decision to make and their lives changed dramatically when they decided to adopt.

Russell and Jammie have adopted two beautiful children, Ira and Hazel, and have embraced their role as parents through open adoption. Both are actively engaged in the adoption community by communicating through social media, taking part in discussion panels, and writing songs about adoption. Russell also writes a weekly post for Adoption.com and contributes regularly to Adoption Voices Magazine.


Links Website * Facebook


Tour Giveaway:
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash from Author Russell Elkins
Ends 12/23/12
Open to anyone who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent's permission. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

a Rafflecopter giveaway



Blog Tour Schedule: http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2012/10/open-heart-open-adoption-blog-tour.html

November 20th, 2012

Let's do some easy pie-topping today. Most of you probably know what filling you're going to use, but if you don't, all you need is a package of chocolate pudding mix and you're set. Fix your pie, and then get starting on the topping!

You'll need heavy whipping cream, sugar, and vanilla.

Beat the whipping cream until it's thick and stiff, then add sugar and vanilla to taste. All done! Easy and delicious home-made whipped cream. A bonus? It won't melt like the canned stuff, and you can mix it with chocolate pudding to flavor it.

(This stuff is so good that I am guilty of eating an entire bowl, so make sure you share!)

November 19th, 2012

What's a great way to cut down on what you eat during Thanksgiving dinner? Well, first of all, put yourself in charge of the cooking. Then you can maintain control over what ingredients you use, and how much of the not-so-good ones.

But if you're not in charge? Grab a smaller plate. Less room equals less food - but make sure it's not too small, or you'll go back for seconds and thirds. You can also see if there's any way you can arrange serving dishes away from the table you'll be eating at. Which are you more likely to eat - the marshmallow coated sweet potatoes on the table in front of you, or the marshmallow coated sweet potatoes all the way in the kitchen?

November 18th, 2012

I read a Bible verse recently, and it had to do with delighting in the Lord. Delighting to learn His ways, His word, His laws.

But who really looks at it that way? Isn't it a chore to most of us? It's hard. We don't have enough time. Yet, we have time for games, for Facebook, for books, for the computer. What, then, is truly important to us? Obviously not studying the word of God.

I think it's time for many of us to re-sort our priorities and get them straight. If what we say is important is really important, then we will put it first. That includes family, school, work, faith, your spouse...if those things are important to you, then how do you show it? If you're like me, probably not very well.

November 17th, 2012

"Troy!" Beenie said. "Tell me where he's going! Please?"

"Nope, nope, nope," Troy said, shaking his head back and forth. "If I don't tell you, we can't go."

"But - but-"

"I don't want to chase any hedgehogs, Beenie. I just want to explore the market. I don't want to get in trouble with the gnomes. Gnomes are scary."

"Troy, they're up to something."

"They're always up to something," said Troy stubbornly. "One more reason to always leave them alone."

Beenie kicked a tree root in frustration, and then spun in circles in the air, clutching her foot.

"Fine, then," she said, when the throbbing in her toes had subsided. "I'll just go look for him by myself."

Then she flew forward, leaving Troy looking after her, his whiskers drooping.

November 16th, 2012

Ever heard of Cleverbot?

I had, but hadn't tried talking to it until recently. Like, yesterday. My cousin pulled up videos of someone having a conversation with it, and it was hilarious, so I wanted to 'introduce' my mother to it. I pulled up the site, and started talking to Cleverbot.

In the video, Cleverbot didn't seem to much like the person. But it seemed to like me okay. After informing me that it knew everything and I was bald (?) it asked me if I'd like to go out sometime, and then got sad when I said I had to leave.

Has anyone else had any adventures with Cleverbot?

November 15th, 2012

You know that moment when the computer refuses to do what you want it to? Five times in a row?

Kym had one of those recently.

She was just trying to check her email, and the computer wouldn't load the page. She had to log in three or four times, and refresh the page.

About the time she was debating about whether she should put the keyboard through the monitor or not, it finally did what it was supposed to. Apparently, threatening the computer makes it work better, and faster. Why, she has no idea. But she has resolved to threaten first, and get angry second. After all, how can she check her email if she's put her fist through the screen?

November 14th, 2012

"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I think the point of this is if you aren't thankful for little things, why do you think you will be thankful for the big ones? In all honesty, perhaps there are no little things to be thankful for. Little things like being able to walk aren't little if you can't do it anymore. Little things like being able to wash your hair aren't little if you want to do it, but can't. You can be thankful for not having to eat with your fingers. Be thankful for silverware! There. Wasn't that easy?

November 13th, 2012

For our new holiday-theme, we're doing a game. There are multiple ways to play this game, like almost any game you pick, but we'll just go over the one I know best. It's called the White Elephant, but I've also heard it called a Chinese Auction.

Everyone brings one gift that's usually under a certain price limit (you can pick your own). All these gifts are then placed in the center of the floor, on the floor itself, or on a table.

Everyone sits down around the gifts, and takes a number. You can buy rolls of tickets for this, or you can scribble them on scraps of paper. If you're doing the one, two, three, way, you call out one, two, three, and so on. If you're using tickets, you may want to put all the tickets in a bowl or other container and draw random numbers.

The first person who has the number in their hand that matches the one you call out picks a gift from the table and opens it up. You then call the second number. The second person has two options. They can either pick a gift, or 'steal' the first person's gift.

If you are stolen from, you pick another gift from the table, or steal from somebody else. You just can't go grab your first gift back. After two steals, a gift is 'dead' and belongs to the last person who took it.

This game is loads of fun - especially when you do it with the same people every year. Some families get famous for their scheming, or for gag gifts. I've heard 'Don't take that one! If all of them' (my family, of course) 'are smiling, we don't want it!'

November 12th, 2012

You know what Thanksgiving means for me? Two things: my family ( all the aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents that live nearby) gather together and have fun. And, pie. I don't get pie often. Usually just on Thanksgiving and Christmas. So what happens? I want a piece of every kind. Which is bad.

Pie crust is oily, buttery, and bad for you. Especially if you buy the premade kind. Lots of people really enjoy the crust, too. So...what should you do? Well, first of all, I would suggest you develop a taste for the filling, rather than the crust. Second, if you must have a piece of each kind, make sure they are very small pieces. If, for instance,there are two kinds of pie, have half a slice of each. Because I don't want anyone to gain lots of weight - but I don't want you to eat celery and carrot sticks when you've got pie available. Who wants carrots and celery when there's pie anyway?