Michael War's Blog, page 8

What I am Currently Reading: Summer School by Tam Ames

While I am still sick as can be, I have decided to finally catch up on some of the books I have purchased over the past couple of weeks. I recently signed up for the Dreamspinner (who I have not published with) newsletter, and they had some interesting titles on sale for 99 cents. The one I am currently involved in right now is Summer School by Tam Ames. This book tells the story of Jeremy, a 30ish teacher who has ended a long distance (and long term) relationship with his cheating ex. Broke due to climbing credit debt, Jeremy is forced to teach summer school, even though that is the last place he would rather be spending his summer.

Lucas, on the other hand, is exactly where he wants to be. He has a new job assisting a high school teacher with his history class and sees this as the perfect opportunity to beef up his resume. Not only that, he is also currently house sitting for a friend’s family in their extravagant home. When he meets Jeremy, he’s intrigued, but also cautious. Jeremy’s surly demeanor doesn’t allow him to get too close at first, but once they do, the sparks begin to fly.

I’m a little less than halfway through, and I definitely feel that this is one that is worth finishing. The characters are believable, and they definitely have chemistry. The sex scenes are also pretty nice and do not get in the way or take over the plot at all. I’ll post more about it when I am done.

What is everyone else reading right now?

To Outline or to Not Outline? That is the Question

When I was in undergrad, my film classes always made us outline our scripts on notecards. While it was helpful, I always changed it up so much that I eventually did away with the outline and just wrote whatever felt right. Now that I have decided to give this whole writing professionally thing one more time, I find that my approach has changed. 

Now I utilize outlines; even for short stories. Although I still change them up every now and them, I never fully appreciated the focus that they give me when I write. Will I use them all the time? Probably not, but it sure does appear to be helping me get my butt in gear. 

Do you outline your stories before writing?

Going Out of My Comfort Zone

So I finally succeeded in giving my brain a break from writing after finishing both my first full-length and a short story back to back. But now I can’t seem to decide on what to write next. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I know that comedy seems to be what I do best. Yet, am I doing a disservice to myself by not taking on the challenge of new genres and situations? I’m all for building a brand, but every so often it might be a good idea to write something out of my comfort zone. 

I do have this one idea that has been percolating for a bit in my head, a sort of thriller that doesn’t necessarily have the HEA most people crave.  I may give it a go, but for now I might write a couple of more shorts just to get my creative juices going. 

How often do you write outside of your comfort zone?

My Use of Humor Over Angst

I tried writing a book that was a good mix of angst and humor once. It did not go well. People hated the main character, his love interest and only seemed to like the guy who provided the most comic relief. That got me thinking that perhaps angst just wasn’t my thing and that using humor was. I’ve always been a fan of rom coms, and have tried my best to insert that vibe into my work. 

My books will still have a touch of angst, since romance is never without it.  Yet, I think I want to focus more on the comedic effect of the situation (as well as all the steamy possibilities) than on putting my characters through hell and back. It’s what I’m good at, and will hopefully become my brand. 

Does anyone know if any hilarious gay romances that I can read for inspiration?

New Page and First blog post

Well, I finally got around to creating a simple web page to showcase my work and to blog my most random of thoughts. I had one a long time ago, however, I never really kept up with it. I think that hurt me in the long run, as did deleting my original Twitter account. Now I have to start from scratch. I’m okay with that since I now know what I need to do in order to be successful. At least I think I do.

So why did I stop writing? To be completely honest, I don’t have a really good answer. I think I just let my ego get the best of me, which I know is wrong on so many levels. But it hurt to see a book get trashed by so many. But while I did retreat, I also took the time to really try and get better, which I think is reflected in my current WIP’s. I have already submitted two new works, and hope to churn more out in the coming weeks.

Stay tuned!

Who cares? Well, I can answer that

Every time I see an article regarding a new celebrity coming out, I can’t help but smile. It’s been great seeing guys like Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Darren Young, Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman take a step toward busting down barriers in their respective fields. It just warms me up inside. That is, until I reach the comments section.

Anytime I hope to see inspiring comments of people supporting their fellow human beings (the way Jesus intended), my heart sinks at the trash I come across. Words such as “Who cares,” “Where is my straight pride parade?” and “I’m straight, where is my article?” cut through like a knife. But the one that gets me the most is when people ask “Why is this news?” Yes, it’s not as sarcastic, and usually comes from someone who isn’t trying to be mean, but it still undermines the importance of such announcements.

Gay rights have come a long way, especially in regards to Same Sex Marriage. But what still hasn’t gone away is the stereotype that all gay men are nothing more than flamboyant queens who strut around in tight clothes and dance the night away to techno music. Am I saying it is wrong to be a flamboyant queen? No, I am not. Everyone has unique character traits that should be celebrated. But many use that stereotype as a weapon; a way to limit the perception of gay men to something they feel is a substandard version of a man. Such a negative response has its consequences.

I was once a gay teen, and I can tell you, it sucks to know what people think of you (even before you actually know that you’re gay.) It’s even worse when you try to partake in “manly” pursuits, such as sports. You don’t feel like you can be yourself; that you have to hide who you are just to fit in. There weren’t any role models to point to; no one to show to that you can be just as good as the “regular” boys and still be yourself (at least none that admitted it quite yet.) That’s why having guys like Michael Sam and Billy Gilman come out is so important, even in 2014. Guys like them show that gay men, just like straight men, come in all shapes, sizes and mannerisms.

This is especially important for any gay people who believe that they will never be able to make it in professional sports or country music. If someone out there can be gay and still thrive, why couldn’t they?

I’m not trying to limit anyone’s free speech, so if you still want to comment with “who cares,” then be my guest. Just remember that even if you may not care, there is someone out there who does, and they might actually benefit from someone else’s coming out story. Just something to think about.

In defense of Greg from Outdated

After reading some of the reviews and listening to some feedback, I feel that I needed to address the issue of why Greg was such a doormat in Outdated. Most people got frustrated with his actions, and really didn’t understand why he wouldn’t stand up for himself. The storyline of Outdated is completely fictional, however the actions taken by Greg are something I can relate to. Greg became so frustrated with his situation that he no longer had any fight left in him. As someone who once experienced those feelings, I can tell you it does happen. You just get to the point of not wanting to fight anymore. You don’t have the energy or the will, and you just want everything to be settled. So you give in.

Also, like Greg, I’ve been in love with men who treated me like crap, but I was too blind to see it. In my case, I was just happy someone was willing to be with me. In Greg’s, he has this fantasy set up in his head and continues to work towards it, even if the other guy is unwilling.

Believe me, my actions frustrated many of my friends, so maybe I should take it as a compliment that Greg made people want to slap him back to his senses, since a lot of people wanted to do that to me. So the story may not be real, but the emotions are. Like me, Greg got his spark back little by little. Maybe not fully, but life is always a work in progress.

I really appreciate all the support that has been given to Outdated. Even though people wanted to hurt Greg, they still seemed to enjoy the story (and Charlie!). It was a great way to release some of the feelings I’ve had, and hopefully others can relate. But since Greg does have a little bit of me in him, I just felt I had to explain his actions.

Thanks for reading!

Excerpt for Outdated

Here’s a little taste for you all. Outdated goes on sale October 22, but you can already preorder a copy via the Less Than Three Press site.

Excerpt: Outdated

“Greg, it’s not what it looks like.” Great, I wasn’t even worthy of a good explanation. Nope, Tim—my soon-to-be-ex—handed me a cliché as to why I just found him naked on our fire-red leather couch with a guy young enough to be his son. Granted, he would have been 17, but it still worked in this case.

The really sad part is that they didn’t even break apart, or reach for their clothes in desperate shame. Tim just sat there straddled across his boy-toy, looking at me like I was wrong for walking in on them before the big finish.

“Perhaps I should come back at a better time,” I suggested, hoping they would get the sarcasm. Tim was pretty good at catching my snarky remarks, but at this particular moment, I don’t think he had enough blood in his brain to actually think things through.

“That would be great,” the chiseled blonde replied with a goofy smile. “But it won’t be long. I was ready to explode, right, baby?” The chiseled blonde creature then leaned in for a kiss, but Tim quickly put a stop to it as he got up from the guy’s lap.

“Charlie, would you mind? I need to get up and talk to Greg.” Charlie scoffed like a kid who had been denied his favorite toy, but he still did as he was told. He didn’t move very far, plopping down right next to Tim on the couch.

I cocked my head in disbelief. I mean, did he actually just say that to me? What’s worse is that he actually thought I was serious. I was stuck wondering about Charlie’s appeal; well, other than his looks, but then I looked down. After that, it was a no-brainer.

Even though I was trying hard to resist, I began to hiccup uncontrollably. I always hiccup when I’m nervous. Charlie looked at me in disbelief.

“What’s wrong with him?” Charlie asked Tim, who immediately sprang up to my side.

“He just gets a little hiccupy every now and then, don’t you, baby?” Tim said in his most comforting tone. Even in my hiccup-fueled state, I managed to shoot out daggers with my eyes. Tim backed off immediately and returned to the couch. Charlie tried to cuddle, but Tim kept nudging him away.

“Should I leave?” Charlie asked with a dead serious expression.

I managed to get a few syllables out in between hiccups. “No, stay. Enjoy. I’ll go.”

“No one has to go anywhere,” Tim declared.

“Hey, I thought you said he didn’t like threesomes? Anyways, he’s not really my type. I mean, he’s kind of chubby. And old,” Charlie replied.

Nothing like a bit of anger to get rid of the hiccups. “Excuse me. Who the hell do you think–”

Tim stood up and cut me off before I could yell any further. “Keep your voice down. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the neighbors.”

“Me. Embarrass myself? I’m not the one trying to play around with a guy almost half my age.”

Charlie giggled like a little schoolgirl. “I can see why you don’t want him. He’s not even that smart if he thinks that nineteen is half of twenty-seven.”

It was all too much at this point. I began to pace back and forth, arms gesticulating wildly, as if they were about to shoot off from my body. “Twenty-seven? You think he is twenty-seven? I’ll let you in on a little secret, kid. He’s two years older than I am, and I’m thirty-six.”

Charlie got up from the couch and scrambled for his clothes. He gathered them up one by one, and clutched them close to his chest as he walked towards the door. “You know what, why don’t you call me when you figure out what age you really are.” With that statement, Charlie left, full of drama and completely naked.

“Wow,” I began, “I would be angry if this wasn’t all so sad.”

“Look, we should sit down and talk about this.”

“No, I’m not going to sit down on that couch ever again. No amount of disinfectant can take away what you did on there.”

“Damn, do you have to be such a drama queen?” Tim said flatly.

“Really? That’s what you say? Don’t you even realize what you’ve done? You’ve just thrown away ten years together, and for what? A piece of really stupid cock.”

Tim opened his mouth to give his side of the story, but I wouldn’t hear of it—I was too upset. I also knew that if I let him speak any further, I’d end up forgiving him like always, and we’d be back to square one.

“You need to go,” I said, fighting back tears. I wasn’t about to let him see me get torn up about this. Tim picked up his clothes and got dressed, then reached for his car keys. Before he reached the door, he turned around and faced me.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked. No, I wasn’t sure. In fact, seeing him go was tearing me apart. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Charlie, still as naked as could be.

“Um, I don’t think they will let me ride the bus like this, so I’m gonna need a ride back to my parent’s place from one of you.”

I shook my head. “Oh yeah. I’m perfectly sure now.

Pray the Gay Away? Believe Me, I Tried.

Whenever I hear someone say that being gay is a choice and that if a gay man or woman simply prayed hard enough, then we could truly turn our lives around, it makes me sad, and a little angry. I get this way because what they don’t know, and what they might be shocked to find out is that many of us have tried praying. Especially early on when people would call us fags before we even knew what that word meant. Before we figured out what our feelings were. Before we were willing to accept ourselves as unique individuals who just happened to be interested in the same sex.

Sexuality, unlike what certain politicians think, is not a lifestyle choice. You don’t just wake up one day and decide, “You know what, I think I’ll try being gay for a bit. See how it goes. And if i like it, I might stick with it.” For people like myself, it started with noticing things about myself that were different from others. It also started with name calling and a lot of self-loathing, which led to a severe depression. That is where the praying came into play.

I prayed to God to change me, to make me like everyone else. I prayed and prayed till until one day, I realized that maybe, just maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wanted to love and be loved, to find someone I could joke around with, watch a scary movie with; you know, just typical couple stuff. It wasn’t until I realized that I was so much more than just being a gay man that I began to accept it as a part of my brain chemistry. That is when my praying changed.

Now I say prayers of thanks. Thanks for my family, thanks for all the wonderful opportunities that have come my way, and thanks for the life that God has given me. It is a better use of my praying time; time that makes me feel more connected to God than ever.

Change of Pace for My Next Book

While I’ve been very busy putting the final touches on Outdated, I’ve also begun working on my next story, which I hope to actually make into a full length novel. This time around, I’ve been wanting to explore deeper issues that have been swimming in my head for the past few years; issues of spirituality and its place in my life. I’ve always believed in God, but every time I went to church, all I heard was that I was going to go to hell. Lately, though, I’ve been wondering if perhaps that is just man speaking, and not God. Which, if you haven’t guessed it already, is the theme of my new book.

Because of the subject matter, I have decided to tone down the more “erotic” moments in this piece. It will be a change of pace for sure, but hopefully the emotional journey will compensate for the lack of heat. Besides, I don’t want to throw in erotic scenes just for the sake of having them. Don’t worry though, it will still have a gay couple at the front and center of it, and I still want it to be quite romantic. I’m already a few thousand words in, and am shooting for at least 50 thousand.

My plan is to write at least 500 words a day until I am done. I know that’s very little, but with my day job and other responsibilities, I just don’t have the time for more. But I figure if I do a little each day, then I really don’t have any excuse. Which reminds me, I guess I should get back to writing!