Rachael Eyre's Blog - Posts Tagged "tintin"
The Biggest WTF Moments in Tintin
I love Tintin. Show me a panel, I can name precisely which album it comes from. Tell me there's a new adaptation/documentary/exhibition and I exclaim, "Shut up and take my money!" On more than a few occasions I've thought my way out of a dilemma by musing, "What would Tintin do?"
That said, the albums are chockful with "What the actual f-?" moments. You blink, you flip back, but it's still there in glorious technicolor, defying all logic or sanity. Rather than wonder "What was Herge smoking and can I have some?", we'll examine these funniosities in detail.
10) Formula 14
Land of Black Gold revolves around Muller the science Nazi's plot to doctor Europe's oil supplies, bringing the Tintinverse to the brink of war. Thompson and Thomson, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, help themselves to a set of capsules they find lying in the desert.
Added to petrol, the substance - code named Formula 14 - explodes. Since no one wants to see our favourite detectives scattered across the dunes, they turn into backing singers for Wizard instead. They suffer a relapse in Explorers on the Moon, meaning one of the many things floating in zero gravity is kaleidoscopic hair.
9) The Juice of Madness
Opium cartels and chats with elephants aside, the Pharaoh/Lotus books feature the wicked fakir and his deadly darts, dipped in Rajaijah (the juice of madness). If you're hit, you're insane for life - or, in the case of the unfortunate Didi, develop a worrying fixation with decapitation.
Dr Muller has a similar modus operandi, but his methods are far more mysterious. He brags that few of his patients are mad when they arrive, but after his treatment they're unlikely to recover. What does he do to them?!
8) Tintin in Tibet
Unpopular opinion time: I'm not that wowed by Tintin in Tibet. Yes, it's an ode to friendship with Tintin's refusal to give up the search for Chang and the Captain's obstinate devotion, but telepathic dreams and levitating monks mean I can't take it seriously. Or Tintin deliberately getting Haddock soused, which is just not nice. The shippers are delighted by the one time the BFFs kiss, but it's clearly a Gallic greeting rather than a full on smooch.
Besides, doesn't the yeti look like Justin Bieber?
7) Rascar Capac
Even Tintin sceptics agree: Rascar Capac is fricking terrifying. A mummy brought to Belgium by the Sanders-Hardiman expedition, he stars in a disturbing dream shared by the main cast. Grinning skeletally, he clambers up to their windows and smashes a crystal ball on the ground.
This ushers in the explorers' agonies, graphically shown in a horrific hospital scene (Seven Crystal Balls).
6) Meet the Meat
In Tintin in America our betufted hero falls foul of the Mafia. Mobster Bobby Smiles resolves to finish him off, in the grimmest way possible.
Tintin visits a canned meats factory as part of his American experience. We see live animals go on the conveyor belt and come out as tins in a blackly comic sequence. Tintin is shoved into the machinery, only saved by the luckiest of strikes.
5) The Jolly Follies
For decades San Theodoros is the stage for a power struggle between two colossal egos, Generals Alcazar and Tapioca. We side with Alcazar only because we meet him first; Tintin plays a dodgy game of chess with him in The Broken Ear.
Our lads get involved when La Castafiore and the Thompsons are in danger of life imprisonment. The only way they can be rescued is if Tapioca's dictatorship is overthrown. How can a bus load of guerillas sneak into the capital unobserved? Dressed as Pierrots, of course! Arm them with chloroform and a jaunty tune and they're the stuff of nightmares!
4) Ramon Bada and Alonso Perez Go to Hell
Tintin began life in the pages of Le Petit Vingtieme, a Catholic children's weekly. Bearing this in mind, it should come as no surprise that Herge's miscreants get what's coming to them. Mitsuhirato commits seppuku, Colonel Jorgen is shot, bungling Corporal Diaz is blown to smithereens ...
The most fanciful comeuppance has to be that of the two thieves, Ramon Bada and Alonso Perez. Not content with showing them drown, Herge has them dragged to hell by cheeky devils. The panel has to be seen to be believed!
3) Flight 71- huh?
As time passed and Herge spent less time on Tintin, oddities started to creep in. I adore The Castafiore Emerald and will defend it against any naysayers. I won't do the same for Flight 714.
What's most egregious? The total emasculation of Rastapopoulos, destined to spend the story dressed like an evil camp cowboy? All the unpleasant side characters, particularly odious millionaire Laszlo Carredias? Allan degenerating to Rastapopoulos's bitch? That's not even touching on aliens, amnesia and Jolyon Wagg (shoo!) I love sci fi but there isn't room for it in Tintin.
2) The One Everyone Tries to Forget: The Shooting Star
Shown a still of The Shooting Star, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's a quirky piece of surrealism with its pop art toadstools and giant creepy crawlies. Alas, this is the second most controversial album in the series.
Herge had written a masterly condemnation of fascism with King Ottokar's Sceptre; The Crab With the Golden Claws shunned politics altogether. With Shooting Star he steps into murkier waters.
Yes, he was working during the Belgium occupation. Yes, he probably had his new employers breathing down his neck. But you can't help but shudder at Mr Bohlwinkel, nee Blumenstein. An oily, cigar chomping financier and master criminal, he's propaganda made flesh. You also notice that all the scientists in the polar expedition hail from Axis and neutral countries.
I can only hope that when Bohlwinkel is caught, he's extradited to Sao Rico. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.
1) The One Everyone Talks About: Tintin in the Congo
Herge's boss on Le Vingtieme Siecle was Norbert Wallez; look him up. It's one of the great cosmic ironies that Tintin, champion of the oppressed, owes his existence to such a man. When you discuss this, the most dated and distasteful of the adventures, you need to remember who commissioned the story and what he had in mind. Herge was a fresh faced kid in his first job, naively buying into the paternalistic mindset of the time.
Which is why we have the dumbfoundingly offensive depiction of the Africans, universally shown as foolish, gullible children. There is a villain of sorts, a witch doctor, and he is as stereotyped as you'd expect. If you're not turned off by the racism, there's always Tintin's hunting bag. Accidentally shooting animals is one thing, but he's deliberately shown dynamiting a rhino.
Needless to say, if the series had continued in this vein, it wouldn't be remembered today (unless it resurfaced on Tumblr).
Honourable mentions
* Tintin's probable demise in Tintin in the Alph Art, encased in a sculpture.
* General Alcazar is married. Surprised? So was I! The leader of the revolution is henpecked to the nth degree, doing the dishes in a frilly pink apron.
* The Battle for the Unicorn - In which a drunk, overexcited Haddock merges with his illustrious forebear, Sir Francis. Unlike the other entries on this list, it's made of awesome. It's one of the few things the recent film got right.
* Angel dog/devil dog - Snowy often grapples with his conscience, especially where booze or a nice juicy bone are involved. The fuzzy red demonic Snowy is actually quite cute.
* Courtesy of the Syldavian Tourist Industry - King Ottokar's Sceptre goes off piste for a few pages to describe the fictional country's history.
* Professor Casanova - Don't be deceived by appearances: beneath that dotty exterior, Professor Calculus is a red blooded male! His crush on La Castafiore is the best documented, but he even checks out Peggy Alcazar!
* Paging Dr Freud - Our merry band have the kind of dreams that would make a psychoanalyst blush. The Captain skewering Tintin, now a champagne bottle, with a corkscrew? Check. Naked and surrounded by tuxedoed parrots at the opera? Uhuh. Castafiore mutating into an enormous savage woodpecker? Yup.
That said, the albums are chockful with "What the actual f-?" moments. You blink, you flip back, but it's still there in glorious technicolor, defying all logic or sanity. Rather than wonder "What was Herge smoking and can I have some?", we'll examine these funniosities in detail.
10) Formula 14
Land of Black Gold revolves around Muller the science Nazi's plot to doctor Europe's oil supplies, bringing the Tintinverse to the brink of war. Thompson and Thomson, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, help themselves to a set of capsules they find lying in the desert.
Added to petrol, the substance - code named Formula 14 - explodes. Since no one wants to see our favourite detectives scattered across the dunes, they turn into backing singers for Wizard instead. They suffer a relapse in Explorers on the Moon, meaning one of the many things floating in zero gravity is kaleidoscopic hair.
9) The Juice of Madness
Opium cartels and chats with elephants aside, the Pharaoh/Lotus books feature the wicked fakir and his deadly darts, dipped in Rajaijah (the juice of madness). If you're hit, you're insane for life - or, in the case of the unfortunate Didi, develop a worrying fixation with decapitation.
Dr Muller has a similar modus operandi, but his methods are far more mysterious. He brags that few of his patients are mad when they arrive, but after his treatment they're unlikely to recover. What does he do to them?!
8) Tintin in Tibet
Unpopular opinion time: I'm not that wowed by Tintin in Tibet. Yes, it's an ode to friendship with Tintin's refusal to give up the search for Chang and the Captain's obstinate devotion, but telepathic dreams and levitating monks mean I can't take it seriously. Or Tintin deliberately getting Haddock soused, which is just not nice. The shippers are delighted by the one time the BFFs kiss, but it's clearly a Gallic greeting rather than a full on smooch.
Besides, doesn't the yeti look like Justin Bieber?
7) Rascar Capac
Even Tintin sceptics agree: Rascar Capac is fricking terrifying. A mummy brought to Belgium by the Sanders-Hardiman expedition, he stars in a disturbing dream shared by the main cast. Grinning skeletally, he clambers up to their windows and smashes a crystal ball on the ground.
This ushers in the explorers' agonies, graphically shown in a horrific hospital scene (Seven Crystal Balls).
6) Meet the Meat
In Tintin in America our betufted hero falls foul of the Mafia. Mobster Bobby Smiles resolves to finish him off, in the grimmest way possible.
Tintin visits a canned meats factory as part of his American experience. We see live animals go on the conveyor belt and come out as tins in a blackly comic sequence. Tintin is shoved into the machinery, only saved by the luckiest of strikes.
5) The Jolly Follies
For decades San Theodoros is the stage for a power struggle between two colossal egos, Generals Alcazar and Tapioca. We side with Alcazar only because we meet him first; Tintin plays a dodgy game of chess with him in The Broken Ear.
Our lads get involved when La Castafiore and the Thompsons are in danger of life imprisonment. The only way they can be rescued is if Tapioca's dictatorship is overthrown. How can a bus load of guerillas sneak into the capital unobserved? Dressed as Pierrots, of course! Arm them with chloroform and a jaunty tune and they're the stuff of nightmares!
4) Ramon Bada and Alonso Perez Go to Hell
Tintin began life in the pages of Le Petit Vingtieme, a Catholic children's weekly. Bearing this in mind, it should come as no surprise that Herge's miscreants get what's coming to them. Mitsuhirato commits seppuku, Colonel Jorgen is shot, bungling Corporal Diaz is blown to smithereens ...
The most fanciful comeuppance has to be that of the two thieves, Ramon Bada and Alonso Perez. Not content with showing them drown, Herge has them dragged to hell by cheeky devils. The panel has to be seen to be believed!
3) Flight 71- huh?
As time passed and Herge spent less time on Tintin, oddities started to creep in. I adore The Castafiore Emerald and will defend it against any naysayers. I won't do the same for Flight 714.
What's most egregious? The total emasculation of Rastapopoulos, destined to spend the story dressed like an evil camp cowboy? All the unpleasant side characters, particularly odious millionaire Laszlo Carredias? Allan degenerating to Rastapopoulos's bitch? That's not even touching on aliens, amnesia and Jolyon Wagg (shoo!) I love sci fi but there isn't room for it in Tintin.
2) The One Everyone Tries to Forget: The Shooting Star
Shown a still of The Shooting Star, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's a quirky piece of surrealism with its pop art toadstools and giant creepy crawlies. Alas, this is the second most controversial album in the series.
Herge had written a masterly condemnation of fascism with King Ottokar's Sceptre; The Crab With the Golden Claws shunned politics altogether. With Shooting Star he steps into murkier waters.
Yes, he was working during the Belgium occupation. Yes, he probably had his new employers breathing down his neck. But you can't help but shudder at Mr Bohlwinkel, nee Blumenstein. An oily, cigar chomping financier and master criminal, he's propaganda made flesh. You also notice that all the scientists in the polar expedition hail from Axis and neutral countries.
I can only hope that when Bohlwinkel is caught, he's extradited to Sao Rico. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.
1) The One Everyone Talks About: Tintin in the Congo
Herge's boss on Le Vingtieme Siecle was Norbert Wallez; look him up. It's one of the great cosmic ironies that Tintin, champion of the oppressed, owes his existence to such a man. When you discuss this, the most dated and distasteful of the adventures, you need to remember who commissioned the story and what he had in mind. Herge was a fresh faced kid in his first job, naively buying into the paternalistic mindset of the time.
Which is why we have the dumbfoundingly offensive depiction of the Africans, universally shown as foolish, gullible children. There is a villain of sorts, a witch doctor, and he is as stereotyped as you'd expect. If you're not turned off by the racism, there's always Tintin's hunting bag. Accidentally shooting animals is one thing, but he's deliberately shown dynamiting a rhino.
Needless to say, if the series had continued in this vein, it wouldn't be remembered today (unless it resurfaced on Tumblr).
Honourable mentions
* Tintin's probable demise in Tintin in the Alph Art, encased in a sculpture.
* General Alcazar is married. Surprised? So was I! The leader of the revolution is henpecked to the nth degree, doing the dishes in a frilly pink apron.
* The Battle for the Unicorn - In which a drunk, overexcited Haddock merges with his illustrious forebear, Sir Francis. Unlike the other entries on this list, it's made of awesome. It's one of the few things the recent film got right.
* Angel dog/devil dog - Snowy often grapples with his conscience, especially where booze or a nice juicy bone are involved. The fuzzy red demonic Snowy is actually quite cute.
* Courtesy of the Syldavian Tourist Industry - King Ottokar's Sceptre goes off piste for a few pages to describe the fictional country's history.
* Professor Casanova - Don't be deceived by appearances: beneath that dotty exterior, Professor Calculus is a red blooded male! His crush on La Castafiore is the best documented, but he even checks out Peggy Alcazar!
* Paging Dr Freud - Our merry band have the kind of dreams that would make a psychoanalyst blush. The Captain skewering Tintin, now a champagne bottle, with a corkscrew? Check. Naked and surrounded by tuxedoed parrots at the opera? Uhuh. Castafiore mutating into an enormous savage woodpecker? Yup.
