Peg Kerr's Blog, page 4
January 4, 2016
52 Week Collage: Week 17, 18 and 19
Week 17: Biopsy
After the second of two biopsies, Rob hovers at the brink of awakening.
I took a picture of Rob right right before he awoke from the anesthesia, after a double bone marrow biopsy. Something about his posture, the angle of his face, the lighting (and the suffering of which he never complains)...something made me think of religious iconography. (Which would certainly bemuse Rob, as he is an agnostic.) A saint in a religious trance or something. Religious ecstacy.
That impression and that word, 'ecstacy' triggered a memory of an image I'd had stashed in my soulcollaging cache of images, "The Ecstasy of St. Teresa," a central sculptural group in white marble set in an elevated aedicule in the Cornaro Chapel, Santa Maria della Vittoria, Rome (google it to see). I flipped that image and scaled Rob's down to fit in with it. Note the angel holds an arrow, indicative of the sharp point just used to do the biopsy. It pleases me that the arrow is pointed at the site of the cancer.
Week 18: Yule
Light a candle, sing a song.
There is a Peter Mayer song about the winter solstice called "The Longest Night." Here are the lyrics:
Light a candle, sing a song
Say that the shadows shall not cross
Make an oblation out of all you’ve lost
In the longest night
Gather friends and cast your hopes
Into the fire as it snows
And stare at God through the dark windows
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
A night that seems like a lifetime
If you’re waiting for the sun
So why not sing to the nighttime
And the burning stars up above?
Come with drums, bells and horns
Or come in silence, come forlorn
Come like a miner to the door
Of the longest night
For deep in the stillness, deep in the cold
Deep in the darkness, a miner knows
That there is a diamond in the soul
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
Maybe peace hides in a storm
Maybe winter’s heart is warm
And maybe light itself is born
In the longest night
In the longest night
Of the year
I've always loved that song, especially given that I'm vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder. This card is trying to juxtapose the thoughts of this song with Christmas (the wreath) and Solstice (the diamond candle), which fell during the same week. "Yule" is a concept that would encompass both of them.
Although I like the concept, the card just didn't turn out to have as much impact as I'd hoped. Just not vivid enough or something.
Week 19: Hogmanay
The year comes to an end.
THIS card, on the other hand, turned out SPLENDIDLY. I had a great deal of difficulty, however, managing a decent scan of the card, because it is difficult for scans to capture the way it glitters. It's much more scintillatingly impressive when you hold it in your hand than I can convey here. "Hogmanay" is an old Scottish word referring to New Year's Eve (and I resorted to it because I'm limiting the titles of these cards to one word, and "Newyear' just didn't look right to me). The monks are a reference to the poem I wrote and posted earlier about our trip to Mayo Clinic the day before New Year's Eve, and the silver light and the glittering spindrift was made from nail polish. The very same nail polish, as a matter of fact, that I used in my New Year's Eve manicure. I think they captured the sense of the 'icy spindrift' (and the cones of silver light) extremely well!
And the Chinese fortune was from the fortune cookie I opened on New Year's Eve. My family has been gathering together and eating Chinese every single New Year's Eve for years. Perhaps this fortune was a wry commentary on the job hunting process.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745534.html. There are
comments on the post.
After the second of two biopsies, Rob hovers at the brink of awakening.
I took a picture of Rob right right before he awoke from the anesthesia, after a double bone marrow biopsy. Something about his posture, the angle of his face, the lighting (and the suffering of which he never complains)...something made me think of religious iconography. (Which would certainly bemuse Rob, as he is an agnostic.) A saint in a religious trance or something. Religious ecstacy.
That impression and that word, 'ecstacy' triggered a memory of an image I'd had stashed in my soulcollaging cache of images, "The Ecstasy of St. Teresa," a central sculptural group in white marble set in an elevated aedicule in the Cornaro Chapel, Santa Maria della Vittoria, Rome (google it to see). I flipped that image and scaled Rob's down to fit in with it. Note the angel holds an arrow, indicative of the sharp point just used to do the biopsy. It pleases me that the arrow is pointed at the site of the cancer.
Week 18: Yule
Light a candle, sing a song.
There is a Peter Mayer song about the winter solstice called "The Longest Night." Here are the lyrics:
Light a candle, sing a song
Say that the shadows shall not cross
Make an oblation out of all you’ve lost
In the longest night
Gather friends and cast your hopes
Into the fire as it snows
And stare at God through the dark windows
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
A night that seems like a lifetime
If you’re waiting for the sun
So why not sing to the nighttime
And the burning stars up above?
Come with drums, bells and horns
Or come in silence, come forlorn
Come like a miner to the door
Of the longest night
For deep in the stillness, deep in the cold
Deep in the darkness, a miner knows
That there is a diamond in the soul
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
Maybe peace hides in a storm
Maybe winter’s heart is warm
And maybe light itself is born
In the longest night
In the longest night
Of the year
I've always loved that song, especially given that I'm vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder. This card is trying to juxtapose the thoughts of this song with Christmas (the wreath) and Solstice (the diamond candle), which fell during the same week. "Yule" is a concept that would encompass both of them.
Although I like the concept, the card just didn't turn out to have as much impact as I'd hoped. Just not vivid enough or something.
Week 19: Hogmanay
The year comes to an end.
THIS card, on the other hand, turned out SPLENDIDLY. I had a great deal of difficulty, however, managing a decent scan of the card, because it is difficult for scans to capture the way it glitters. It's much more scintillatingly impressive when you hold it in your hand than I can convey here. "Hogmanay" is an old Scottish word referring to New Year's Eve (and I resorted to it because I'm limiting the titles of these cards to one word, and "Newyear' just didn't look right to me). The monks are a reference to the poem I wrote and posted earlier about our trip to Mayo Clinic the day before New Year's Eve, and the silver light and the glittering spindrift was made from nail polish. The very same nail polish, as a matter of fact, that I used in my New Year's Eve manicure. I think they captured the sense of the 'icy spindrift' (and the cones of silver light) extremely well!
And the Chinese fortune was from the fortune cookie I opened on New Year's Eve. My family has been gathering together and eating Chinese every single New Year's Eve for years. Perhaps this fortune was a wry commentary on the job hunting process.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745534.html. There are
comments on the post.
52 Weel Collage: Week 17, 18 and 19
Week 17: Biopsy
After the second of two biopsies, Rob hovers at the brink of awakening.
I took a picture of Rob right right before he awoke from the anesthesia, after a double bone marrow biopsy. Something about his posture, the angle of his face, the lighting (and the suffering of which he never complains)...something made me think of religious iconography. (Which would certainly bemuse Rob, as he is an agnostic.) A saint in a religious trance or something. Religious ecstacy.
That impression and that word, 'ecstacy' triggered a memory of an image I'd had stashed in my soulcollaging cache of images, "The Ecstasy of St. Teresa," a central sculptural group in white marble set in an elevated aedicule in the Cornaro Chapel, Santa Maria della Vittoria, Rome (google it to see). I flipped that image and scaled Rob's down to fit in with it. Note the angel holds an arrow, indicative of the sharp point just used to do the biopsy. It pleases me that the arrow is pointed at the site of the cancer.
Week 18: Yule
Light a candle, sing a song.
There is a Peter Mayer song about the winter solstice called "The Longest Night." Here are the lyrics:
Light a candle, sing a song
Say that the shadows shall not cross
Make an oblation out of all you’ve lost
In the longest night
Gather friends and cast your hopes
Into the fire as it snows
And stare at God through the dark windows
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
A night that seems like a lifetime
If you’re waiting for the sun
So why not sing to the nighttime
And the burning stars up above?
Come with drums, bells and horns
Or come in silence, come forlorn
Come like a miner to the door
Of the longest night
For deep in the stillness, deep in the cold
Deep in the darkness, a miner knows
That there is a diamond in the soul
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
Maybe peace hides in a storm
Maybe winter’s heart is warm
And maybe light itself is born
In the longest night
In the longest night
Of the year
I've always loved that song, especially given that I'm vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder. This card is trying to juxtapose the thoughts of this song with Christmas (the wreath) and Solstice (the diamond candle), which fell during the same week. "Yule" is a concept that would encompass both of them.
Although I like the concept, the card just didn't turn out to have as much impact as I'd hoped. Just not vivid enough or something.
Week 19: Hogmanay
The year comes to an end.
THIS card, on the other hand, turned out SPLENDIDLY. I had a great deal of difficulty, however, managing a decent scan of the card, because it is difficult for scans to capture the way it glitters. It's much more scintillatingly impressive when you hold it in your hand than I can convey here. "Hogmanay" is an old Scottish word referring to New Year's Eve (and I resorted to it because I'm limiting the titles of these cards to one word, and "Newyear' just didn't look right to me). The monks are a reference to the poem I wrote and posted earlier about our trip to Mayo Clinic the day before New Year's Eve, and the silver light and the glittering spindrift was made from nail polish. The very same nail polish, as a matter of fact, that I used in my New Year's Eve manicure. I think they captured the sense of the 'icy spindrift' (and the cones of silver light) extremely well!
And the Chinese fortune was from the fortune cookie I opened on New Year's Eve. My family has been gathering together and eating Chinese every single New Year's Eve for years. Perhaps this fortune was a wry commentary on the job hunting process.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745534.html. There are comments on the post.
After the second of two biopsies, Rob hovers at the brink of awakening.
I took a picture of Rob right right before he awoke from the anesthesia, after a double bone marrow biopsy. Something about his posture, the angle of his face, the lighting (and the suffering of which he never complains)...something made me think of religious iconography. (Which would certainly bemuse Rob, as he is an agnostic.) A saint in a religious trance or something. Religious ecstacy.
That impression and that word, 'ecstacy' triggered a memory of an image I'd had stashed in my soulcollaging cache of images, "The Ecstasy of St. Teresa," a central sculptural group in white marble set in an elevated aedicule in the Cornaro Chapel, Santa Maria della Vittoria, Rome (google it to see). I flipped that image and scaled Rob's down to fit in with it. Note the angel holds an arrow, indicative of the sharp point just used to do the biopsy. It pleases me that the arrow is pointed at the site of the cancer.
Week 18: Yule
Light a candle, sing a song.
There is a Peter Mayer song about the winter solstice called "The Longest Night." Here are the lyrics:
Light a candle, sing a song
Say that the shadows shall not cross
Make an oblation out of all you’ve lost
In the longest night
Gather friends and cast your hopes
Into the fire as it snows
And stare at God through the dark windows
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
A night that seems like a lifetime
If you’re waiting for the sun
So why not sing to the nighttime
And the burning stars up above?
Come with drums, bells and horns
Or come in silence, come forlorn
Come like a miner to the door
Of the longest night
For deep in the stillness, deep in the cold
Deep in the darkness, a miner knows
That there is a diamond in the soul
Of the longest night
Of the year
CHORUS:
Maybe peace hides in a storm
Maybe winter’s heart is warm
And maybe light itself is born
In the longest night
In the longest night
Of the year
I've always loved that song, especially given that I'm vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder. This card is trying to juxtapose the thoughts of this song with Christmas (the wreath) and Solstice (the diamond candle), which fell during the same week. "Yule" is a concept that would encompass both of them.
Although I like the concept, the card just didn't turn out to have as much impact as I'd hoped. Just not vivid enough or something.
Week 19: Hogmanay
The year comes to an end.
THIS card, on the other hand, turned out SPLENDIDLY. I had a great deal of difficulty, however, managing a decent scan of the card, because it is difficult for scans to capture the way it glitters. It's much more scintillatingly impressive when you hold it in your hand than I can convey here. "Hogmanay" is an old Scottish word referring to New Year's Eve (and I resorted to it because I'm limiting the titles of these cards to one word, and "Newyear' just didn't look right to me). The monks are a reference to the poem I wrote and posted earlier about our trip to Mayo Clinic the day before New Year's Eve, and the silver light and the glittering spindrift was made from nail polish. The very same nail polish, as a matter of fact, that I used in my New Year's Eve manicure. I think they captured the sense of the 'icy spindrift' (and the cones of silver light) extremely well!
And the Chinese fortune was from the fortune cookie I opened on New Year's Eve. My family has been gathering together and eating Chinese every single New Year's Eve for years. Perhaps this fortune was a wry commentary on the job hunting process.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745534.html. There are
comments on the post.
January 1, 2016
Happy New Year!
My sentiment about 2015 is pretty well summed up by
alfreda89
on Facebook:
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745397.html. There are
comments on the post.
alfreda89
on Facebook:I just brought three kinds of salt to the crossroads. Judith Tarr brought flamethrowers and stakes. Somebody has a machete.I hope 2016 goes better. Here's my New Year's manicure to start it off right:
A bunch of us are making sure 2015 *never* rises again."
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745397.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 30, 2015
The Road to Mayo Clinic
At 5:00 a.m.
the old Buick growls to life
surly at being roused from winter hibernation
for a predawn appointment ninety miles away.
We drive through the silent streets
past the light rail station
past the Falls
over the Mendota Bridge
past the highway fork where the oil refinery
flings its lurid glow against the sky.
The curved streetlights hunch
broodingly over the road
meditative as monks at Lauds.
Swirling fog and icy spindrift shines against the darkness
in the cones of light falling away from their burning eyes.
He sleeps beside me as I drive
the once crisp line of his goatee blurred
by the grizzled whiskers
growing out over the biopsy scar.
And the light sweeps over him
again and again
mile after mile
a benediction and a blessing.
All shall be well
All shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
>>>
We drove to Mayo for a surgical procedure today, to have a port put in for Rob so he doesn't have to keep getting IVs in his elbows for the infusions (the veins in his arms are very bad).
I write very little poetry, and I don't follow formal forms, and since I'm so ignorant, I don't consider myself to be any kind of judge of what's good and what's bad.
But
I kinda like this.
I blame the fact that I had to get up at 4:00 in the morning.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745017.html. There are
comments on the post.
the old Buick growls to life
surly at being roused from winter hibernation
for a predawn appointment ninety miles away.
We drive through the silent streets
past the light rail station
past the Falls
over the Mendota Bridge
past the highway fork where the oil refinery
flings its lurid glow against the sky.
The curved streetlights hunch
broodingly over the road
meditative as monks at Lauds.
Swirling fog and icy spindrift shines against the darkness
in the cones of light falling away from their burning eyes.
He sleeps beside me as I drive
the once crisp line of his goatee blurred
by the grizzled whiskers
growing out over the biopsy scar.
And the light sweeps over him
again and again
mile after mile
a benediction and a blessing.
All shall be well
All shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
>>>
We drove to Mayo for a surgical procedure today, to have a port put in for Rob so he doesn't have to keep getting IVs in his elbows for the infusions (the veins in his arms are very bad).
I write very little poetry, and I don't follow formal forms, and since I'm so ignorant, I don't consider myself to be any kind of judge of what's good and what's bad.
But
I kinda like this.
I blame the fact that I had to get up at 4:00 in the morning.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1745017.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 25, 2015
Merry Christmas
After YEARS of searching, I have finally, finally found a menu for Christmas morning that EVERYONE likes all the components.
This was a new experiment this year: a 'snowflake' made of puff pastry layered with Nutella. (The gold-rimmed plate it is resting on is from a set that belonged to my great grandmother).
Fiona tackles her favorite part of the breakfast, the pastry stars that go with the fruit.
Then we made these rolls, which are crescent roll dough, rolled up with raspberry jam, ham and swiss cheese and cut into spirals.
Gifts were wonderful. Everything was wonderful. Our Christmas Eve dinner last night with guests was wonderful. A very satisfactory holiday.
Merry Christmas from our household to yours!
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744775.html. There are
comments on the post.
This was a new experiment this year: a 'snowflake' made of puff pastry layered with Nutella. (The gold-rimmed plate it is resting on is from a set that belonged to my great grandmother).
Fiona tackles her favorite part of the breakfast, the pastry stars that go with the fruit.
Then we made these rolls, which are crescent roll dough, rolled up with raspberry jam, ham and swiss cheese and cut into spirals.
Gifts were wonderful. Everything was wonderful. Our Christmas Eve dinner last night with guests was wonderful. A very satisfactory holiday.
Merry Christmas from our household to yours!
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744775.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 22, 2015
First infusion today
I fell asleep in the chair in the room where Rob was getting his infusion. Woke up hard after an hour with a series of cross and sleepy kitten noises, and Siri, on my iPod Touch, responded by telling me, "I'm sorry. I don't know what you're telling me."
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744559.html. There are
comments on the post.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744559.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 21, 2015
Solstice Songs!
I often post a song for the Winter Solstice on my blog. I went to YouTube looking for one and found an entire mix. If you'd like to hear some lovely Solstice songs, here is the link.
Enjoy the music, and happy Solstice! Lighter days are coming, and I, for one, am glad.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744367.html. There are
comments on the post.
Enjoy the music, and happy Solstice! Lighter days are coming, and I, for one, am glad.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744367.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 18, 2015
52 Week Collage: Weeks 15 and 16
I have been waiting to post these until we told the girls the latest medical results.
Week 15: Pain
Everything hurts.
Since Rob's heart was damaged by chemo, I have been doing all the shoveling. At the first snowfall, doing the job, I hurt my back. Badly. Ice and painkillers and pillows and baths and ow and tears. It really, really hurt. At the same time, I have been fighting off depression (in the Victorian language of flowers, marigolds are associated by some with grief or despair). It has been very difficult to deal with physical pain, combined with the anxiety of job hunting, combined with the bad cancer news. This card is tied, symbolically, with the marigolds, to a card in my Soulcollage deck, The Woman Who Listens to Ravens.
Week 16: PET
Rob undergoes testing at Mayo Clinic.
I cut the words and the picture of a patient undergoing a PET scan from the various educational brochures we've received from Mayo (really, they will give you a brochure about anything under the sun). The blobby shapes draped over the words are photographs of some glassblown art hanging from the ceiling in the large atrium at Mayo Clinic (printed out on tracing paper, which is the first time I've used that technique). Here is a picture of the installation, in situ. Very pretty, if you look at it one way.
But every time I look at those shapes, I think they look like cellular structures. Even like tumors.
I suspect that impression is intentional.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744031.html. There are
comments on the post.
Week 15: Pain
Everything hurts.
Since Rob's heart was damaged by chemo, I have been doing all the shoveling. At the first snowfall, doing the job, I hurt my back. Badly. Ice and painkillers and pillows and baths and ow and tears. It really, really hurt. At the same time, I have been fighting off depression (in the Victorian language of flowers, marigolds are associated by some with grief or despair). It has been very difficult to deal with physical pain, combined with the anxiety of job hunting, combined with the bad cancer news. This card is tied, symbolically, with the marigolds, to a card in my Soulcollage deck, The Woman Who Listens to Ravens.
Week 16: PET
Rob undergoes testing at Mayo Clinic.
I cut the words and the picture of a patient undergoing a PET scan from the various educational brochures we've received from Mayo (really, they will give you a brochure about anything under the sun). The blobby shapes draped over the words are photographs of some glassblown art hanging from the ceiling in the large atrium at Mayo Clinic (printed out on tracing paper, which is the first time I've used that technique). Here is a picture of the installation, in situ. Very pretty, if you look at it one way.
But every time I look at those shapes, I think they look like cellular structures. Even like tumors.
I suspect that impression is intentional.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1744031.html. There are
comments on the post.
Out of remission
Rob's last PET scan was suspicious, and the most recent one, taken this month, was worse. Our doctors did a biopsy, and we received the results today. Rob's cancer has indeed come out of remission, although at least it hasn't reached his bones yet. He is starting an immunatherapy trial at Mayo Clinic next week. Read the details here at our CaringBridge site.
We had waited until tonight to share the news with the girls that the last PET scan was bad because we wanted them to get through their finals first. Finals are over, however, and they have both been told.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1743855.html. There are
comments on the post.
We had waited until tonight to share the news with the girls that the last PET scan was bad because we wanted them to get through their finals first. Finals are over, however, and they have both been told.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1743855.html. There are
comments on the post.
December 2, 2015
52 Week Collage: Weeks 13 and 14 (and card backs)
Week 13: Networking
Over coffee, we meet to build connections (and maybe help me find a job).
I had six networking meetings that week, all in coffeeshops, I think. The background of the card is latte art. I cribbed the rest from business cards exchanged that week. The LinkedIn Profile QR code is mine. I have been uncertain about what business title I'm applying for, so I had cards made up in two styles, one saying "Marketing Specialist" and one saying "Wordsmith." The stylized typewriter in the upper right of the card is the graphic I created for my card. The other logos are the business logos of some of the people I met during the week.
Week 14: Thanksgiving
We gather together to give thanks and to enjoy good food and each other's company.
The pictures on this card were cannibalized from an old Pillsbury Thanksgiving cookbook I had been keeping around. On Thanksgiving day, we went to family gatherings at both Rob's brother Lance's house and my sister Betsy's house. And then, since we had been given the ingredients for a Thanksgiving dinner by Open Arms of Minnesota, we cooked our own turkey and had yet another Thanksgiving feast on Saturday night, just Rob and me and the girls. That meant we had leftover turkey for the first time in years.
The Thanksgiving card finished the Autumn cycle (the first card I made, Smithereens, was the last card for summer. I have now picked out the paper for the backs of the cards. Here is Summer:
And here is Autumn:
The paper for Winter and Spring are the same pattern, except that Winter is white with gold accents and Spring is green with gold accents.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1743481.html. There are
comments on the post.
Over coffee, we meet to build connections (and maybe help me find a job).
I had six networking meetings that week, all in coffeeshops, I think. The background of the card is latte art. I cribbed the rest from business cards exchanged that week. The LinkedIn Profile QR code is mine. I have been uncertain about what business title I'm applying for, so I had cards made up in two styles, one saying "Marketing Specialist" and one saying "Wordsmith." The stylized typewriter in the upper right of the card is the graphic I created for my card. The other logos are the business logos of some of the people I met during the week.
Week 14: Thanksgiving
We gather together to give thanks and to enjoy good food and each other's company.
The pictures on this card were cannibalized from an old Pillsbury Thanksgiving cookbook I had been keeping around. On Thanksgiving day, we went to family gatherings at both Rob's brother Lance's house and my sister Betsy's house. And then, since we had been given the ingredients for a Thanksgiving dinner by Open Arms of Minnesota, we cooked our own turkey and had yet another Thanksgiving feast on Saturday night, just Rob and me and the girls. That meant we had leftover turkey for the first time in years.
The Thanksgiving card finished the Autumn cycle (the first card I made, Smithereens, was the last card for summer. I have now picked out the paper for the backs of the cards. Here is Summer:
And here is Autumn:
The paper for Winter and Spring are the same pattern, except that Winter is white with gold accents and Spring is green with gold accents.
This entry was originally posted at http://pegkerr.dreamwidth.org/1743481.html. There are
comments on the post.
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