Jacqueline Abelson's Blog, page 7
September 8, 2013
You Should Drop Out Of College
Why should you do this?
Don’t ask me, you’re the one reading this blog.
For the record, I’m not exactly telling you to drop out of college, I’m just simply suggesting that you should.
Especially since most of you have already returned to your designated college, or have just started your freshmen year at UC (Fill in the blank) or UMass (Drop College Name Here).
There’s a difference.
But just to make it more fun, I’ll tell you the three pros and cons of dropping out of college and you can go on ahead and make up your mind afterwards.
Deal?
Deal!
Cool.
Number 1:
Pro: You Will Have More Free Time!
Do you ever feel like this?
Yeah, you and me sister.
College is just too damn hard. Even the very thought of midterms and essays makes your blood boil. Wouldn’t it be better if you just didn’t have to do anymore work?
Like . . . NOTHING!
Your day will be full of adventure!
You’ll finally be free!
Free as a bird!
Grades won’t define you. You’ll be your own person for once in your life and not be enslaved by those textbooks that you rented for $600, right?
You DID rent them, didn’t you?
Seriously, those professors made you BUY those damn text books?
What do they think your made out of? $100 bills?
Con: You’ll Burn Yourself Out
Sure it will be fun for the first month or so without being tied down to college, but eventually, let’s face it: You’ll end up becoming extremely bored.
Like, hair-pulling bored.
Then what will you do?
You’ll just be known as another college drop out.
For all you know, you never got your degree in anthropology because you lost your interest in attending Anthro 101.
It was just SO . . . FAR . . . AWAY . . . and your bed was more cozy than stepping out into the chilly morning air.
And then after you’ve had your time in the sun – after you dropped out of college and survived your angry parent’s rant about how you disappointed them – you most likely will get stuck in a dead-end job with no advancement opportunities in sight.
What then?
Obviously, you look for someone to comfort you, and EVERYONE knows that the only person who will ever understand you, is Netflix.
But even Netflix isn’t enough to cure your boredom and failures.
Because, as much as binge watching Orange is the New Black sounds appealing, you’re going to have to come to the painful truth that even though Netflix has almost everything, it doesn’t have that ONE PARTICULAR SHOW OR MOVIE that you were looking for to begin with.
That’s when you regret not buying a subscription for HBO Go.
Number 2:
Pro: No More School Stress!
Remember that teacher you hated in high school who told you to read a book about that kid in the Rye that Caught things?
It was written by some dude named J.D. Salinger?
No, you don’t remember?
Okay, well just to sum it up, the main character leaves his boarding school and stays in New York for three days. The book was to show how young people everywhere, felt themselves pressured to grow up and live their lives according to the rules.
To put it simply: The main character thought that this rule was stupid, and decided to do whatever the hell he wanted.
For all you know he might have danced his way out from his school like this:
He didn’t give a care in the world what happened to him just as long as he got out of that place.
Because in relation to this main character, it wasn’t just the school stress that got to you, but also the social stress and the stress from others who held high expectations of you.
You felt alienated within a heartless college.
You were beset on all sides by what you should or shouldn’t do.
And most importantly, someone would always be chewing gum in the seat next to you during a “very important lecture.”
You needed to get out of here – NO – you HAD get out of here.
Of course if that kid in that book got out okay, so can you.
I think his name was like Hold’em Cauliflower.
I don’t know, it was YOUR job to read that book in the tenth grade!
Con: Where Exactly Will You Go?
Yeah, Hold’em Cauliflower left his school and lived in New York, but it was only for a total of THREE DAYS!
So, once you leave the perimeter of your college, how sure are you that you won’t be thinking this:
And then you perform the ultimate walk of shame by returning to the college that you vowed you would leave behind for the rest of your life.
Good going.
But truth be told, where exactly would you have gone?
Your creepy old Aunt Sally’s house down the road?
Some friend of a friend who knows a guy who knows someone’s cousin who is renting out his sketchy basement?
Would you really be up for that?
Then again, if you really do feel like pulling a Hold’em Cauliflower and staying in New York for three days, just remember not to invite a prostitute up to your room.
It case you’ve forgotten, it didn’t go so well for him.
The poor bastard didn’t even get laid!
Number 3:
Pro: No More Gross Dorm Life!
You won’t have to wait for that asshole Niki for the shower anymore!
You remember Niki, that person who ALWAYS takes the last shower stall in the communal bathroom, forcing you to wait your turn until the next available stall is open.
Well if you dropped out of college, you won’t have to endure waiting any longer.
You’ll be reunited with your precious shower – after your parents are done yelling at you that you dropped out of college of course.
You’ll scamper upstairs and turn the shower on full blast and steaming hot.
And if the showers in the communal bathroom isn’t enough to get over about, just think, you won’t have to endure waiting in line and eating the school’s institutional food. Remember those beans that tasted like copper? Well who needs crappy college food when you’re at home eating some pure gourmet shit?
Precisely!
Nothing tastes better than mom’s mac ‘n cheese and dad’s rack of lamb when you swear off from eating college food for good.
Although, your parents might try to poison you out of uncontrollable rage, since you dropped out.
After all, they’ve spent so much money on trying to enroll you in school.
The least that they could possibly do to you, is kill you and then use the insurance money to pay off any loans or debts that you had towards the college.
Because, remember, you dropped out.
Con: You’ll Be Leaving Behind Your Friends.
Sure, you hate the work . . . like A LOT!
But you endure it anyway, even if it sucks.
And guess what?
Your friends are in the same boat as you.
They also hate their classes and complain about their professors.
In fact, that’s what all you guys have in common, which makes you great friends.
You share all of your stories with each other about how you didn’t understand a word in Professor X’s class, and how you missed the deadline for Professor Y’s class.
Yeah you cry about it, but then you later laugh about it.
And even though your grade is tanking and your professors hate you, there’s one thing that is certain when you have your college friends at your side:
Why?
Because you go through all the turmoils of college just to be with them.
You do it for them!
You sit down and you study for that midterm even if you want to kill it.
You stay in your crappy little college dorm because its the only place that you and your friends know and love. And even if your roommate Philomena is crazy as hell, you find the will to put up with her.
And you even tolerate Niki’s long showers and the crappy college food.
You do it all for your friends.
Because let’s be honest here:
Once the week is over and Friday evening has rolled in, you finish your homework, grab your friends and take over the entire weekend.
Yes, college can sometimes be a pain in the ass, but it's at least bearable because you find your nitch of friends and you create your own rhythm of how you’re going to organize yourself for classes.
You will have good days, bad days, really bad days, and then really REALLY bad days, but just remember, you will look back on these memories as the best days of your life.
You’ll laugh about the time you forgot to study for that final for chemistry. Or how one of your professors made a face that reminded you of an ewok when she noticed that you had arrived late for class. Or even how you got wasted before a pop quiz and just drew pictures of bunny rabbits all over your paper.
So enjoy the ups and downs of college, because it will make you into a better and stronger person.
The choice is yours.
(And again, don’t invite any prostitutes up to your room.)
Don’t ask me, you’re the one reading this blog.
For the record, I’m not exactly telling you to drop out of college, I’m just simply suggesting that you should.
Especially since most of you have already returned to your designated college, or have just started your freshmen year at UC (Fill in the blank) or UMass (Drop College Name Here).
There’s a difference.
But just to make it more fun, I’ll tell you the three pros and cons of dropping out of college and you can go on ahead and make up your mind afterwards.
Deal?
Deal!
Cool.
Number 1:
Pro: You Will Have More Free Time!
Do you ever feel like this?
Yeah, you and me sister.College is just too damn hard. Even the very thought of midterms and essays makes your blood boil. Wouldn’t it be better if you just didn’t have to do anymore work?
Like . . . NOTHING!
Your day will be full of adventure!
You’ll finally be free!
Free as a bird!
Grades won’t define you. You’ll be your own person for once in your life and not be enslaved by those textbooks that you rented for $600, right?
You DID rent them, didn’t you?
Seriously, those professors made you BUY those damn text books?
What do they think your made out of? $100 bills?
Con: You’ll Burn Yourself Out
Sure it will be fun for the first month or so without being tied down to college, but eventually, let’s face it: You’ll end up becoming extremely bored.
Like, hair-pulling bored.
Then what will you do?You’ll just be known as another college drop out.
For all you know, you never got your degree in anthropology because you lost your interest in attending Anthro 101.
It was just SO . . . FAR . . . AWAY . . . and your bed was more cozy than stepping out into the chilly morning air.
And then after you’ve had your time in the sun – after you dropped out of college and survived your angry parent’s rant about how you disappointed them – you most likely will get stuck in a dead-end job with no advancement opportunities in sight.
What then?
Obviously, you look for someone to comfort you, and EVERYONE knows that the only person who will ever understand you, is Netflix.
But even Netflix isn’t enough to cure your boredom and failures.
Because, as much as binge watching Orange is the New Black sounds appealing, you’re going to have to come to the painful truth that even though Netflix has almost everything, it doesn’t have that ONE PARTICULAR SHOW OR MOVIE that you were looking for to begin with.
That’s when you regret not buying a subscription for HBO Go.
Number 2:
Pro: No More School Stress!
Remember that teacher you hated in high school who told you to read a book about that kid in the Rye that Caught things?
It was written by some dude named J.D. Salinger?
No, you don’t remember?
Okay, well just to sum it up, the main character leaves his boarding school and stays in New York for three days. The book was to show how young people everywhere, felt themselves pressured to grow up and live their lives according to the rules.
To put it simply: The main character thought that this rule was stupid, and decided to do whatever the hell he wanted.
For all you know he might have danced his way out from his school like this:
He didn’t give a care in the world what happened to him just as long as he got out of that place.Because in relation to this main character, it wasn’t just the school stress that got to you, but also the social stress and the stress from others who held high expectations of you.
You felt alienated within a heartless college.
You were beset on all sides by what you should or shouldn’t do.
And most importantly, someone would always be chewing gum in the seat next to you during a “very important lecture.”
You needed to get out of here – NO – you HAD get out of here.
Of course if that kid in that book got out okay, so can you.
I think his name was like Hold’em Cauliflower.
I don’t know, it was YOUR job to read that book in the tenth grade!
Con: Where Exactly Will You Go?
Yeah, Hold’em Cauliflower left his school and lived in New York, but it was only for a total of THREE DAYS!
So, once you leave the perimeter of your college, how sure are you that you won’t be thinking this:
And then you perform the ultimate walk of shame by returning to the college that you vowed you would leave behind for the rest of your life. Good going.
But truth be told, where exactly would you have gone?
Your creepy old Aunt Sally’s house down the road?
Some friend of a friend who knows a guy who knows someone’s cousin who is renting out his sketchy basement?
Would you really be up for that?
Then again, if you really do feel like pulling a Hold’em Cauliflower and staying in New York for three days, just remember not to invite a prostitute up to your room.
It case you’ve forgotten, it didn’t go so well for him.
The poor bastard didn’t even get laid!
Number 3:
Pro: No More Gross Dorm Life!
You won’t have to wait for that asshole Niki for the shower anymore!
You remember Niki, that person who ALWAYS takes the last shower stall in the communal bathroom, forcing you to wait your turn until the next available stall is open.
Well if you dropped out of college, you won’t have to endure waiting any longer.
You’ll be reunited with your precious shower – after your parents are done yelling at you that you dropped out of college of course.
You’ll scamper upstairs and turn the shower on full blast and steaming hot.
And if the showers in the communal bathroom isn’t enough to get over about, just think, you won’t have to endure waiting in line and eating the school’s institutional food. Remember those beans that tasted like copper? Well who needs crappy college food when you’re at home eating some pure gourmet shit? Precisely!Nothing tastes better than mom’s mac ‘n cheese and dad’s rack of lamb when you swear off from eating college food for good.
Although, your parents might try to poison you out of uncontrollable rage, since you dropped out.
After all, they’ve spent so much money on trying to enroll you in school.
The least that they could possibly do to you, is kill you and then use the insurance money to pay off any loans or debts that you had towards the college.
Because, remember, you dropped out.
Con: You’ll Be Leaving Behind Your Friends.
Sure, you hate the work . . . like A LOT!
But you endure it anyway, even if it sucks.
And guess what?
Your friends are in the same boat as you.
They also hate their classes and complain about their professors.
In fact, that’s what all you guys have in common, which makes you great friends.
You share all of your stories with each other about how you didn’t understand a word in Professor X’s class, and how you missed the deadline for Professor Y’s class.
Yeah you cry about it, but then you later laugh about it.
And even though your grade is tanking and your professors hate you, there’s one thing that is certain when you have your college friends at your side:
Why?Because you go through all the turmoils of college just to be with them.
You do it for them!
You sit down and you study for that midterm even if you want to kill it.
You stay in your crappy little college dorm because its the only place that you and your friends know and love. And even if your roommate Philomena is crazy as hell, you find the will to put up with her. And you even tolerate Niki’s long showers and the crappy college food. You do it all for your friends.Because let’s be honest here:
Once the week is over and Friday evening has rolled in, you finish your homework, grab your friends and take over the entire weekend.
Yes, college can sometimes be a pain in the ass, but it's at least bearable because you find your nitch of friends and you create your own rhythm of how you’re going to organize yourself for classes.You will have good days, bad days, really bad days, and then really REALLY bad days, but just remember, you will look back on these memories as the best days of your life.
You’ll laugh about the time you forgot to study for that final for chemistry. Or how one of your professors made a face that reminded you of an ewok when she noticed that you had arrived late for class. Or even how you got wasted before a pop quiz and just drew pictures of bunny rabbits all over your paper.
So enjoy the ups and downs of college, because it will make you into a better and stronger person.
The choice is yours.
(And again, don’t invite any prostitutes up to your room.)
August 19, 2013
My First Blog Post: Writing is Hard
So . . .
I'm writing a blog.
Why?
Good question.
I don't know why either.
Maybe because I want to connect with other people, introduce you to my life, and update you about my adventures as a writer.
But here's the thing, I'm not going to write that much.
Do you know why?
Exactly!
You don't really see that many blogs anymore writing page after page about someone's trip to Disneyland.
In fact, my worse fear is that you'll stop reading this blog post because there's too much writing.
For all I know you'll end up like this guy:
Who knows?
Maybe you already stopped reading this blog and gave up.
That's why I'm using these gifs to keep you entertained!
You're welcome by the way.
So if I still have your attention, that's awesome that you made it past the third gif on this page.
As a writer, I've been asked how it feels when you're finalizing a written piece for publication.
To put it simply, it's actually a struggle.
For instance when I thought I succeed in editing my novel, I was informed by a bunch of my friends how many typos were actually in the piece.
As you can imagine, I wasn't too happy.
Least to say, the situation could have been much worse.
I got all of the typos fixed.
But even with my fixed typos I was still paranoid that there were some mistakes left over that I didn't catch from before.
So I would find myself always staying past midnight checking my manuscript for errors.
Without a doubt, it drove me completely nuts.
So when all my friends then started to ask how my novel was doing, I would do something along the lines of this:
When really, I was like this: 
But after a couple a months, my paranoia subsided and I felt content with my manuscript and submitted it for publication.
As soon as the publishers sent in the actual physical copy of my novel, I was over the moon.
Which then led me to progress forward on my second novel.
I won't lie, it was hard coming up with a new idea to proceed my first novel.
I might have given up once or twice.
Okay, maybe there was a third time.
But it's coming together.
Slowly but surly.
I never said it was going to be easy.
I'm writing a blog.
Why?
Good question.
I don't know why either.
Maybe because I want to connect with other people, introduce you to my life, and update you about my adventures as a writer.
But here's the thing, I'm not going to write that much.
Do you know why?
Exactly!You don't really see that many blogs anymore writing page after page about someone's trip to Disneyland.
In fact, my worse fear is that you'll stop reading this blog post because there's too much writing.
For all I know you'll end up like this guy:
Who knows?Maybe you already stopped reading this blog and gave up.
That's why I'm using these gifs to keep you entertained!
You're welcome by the way.
So if I still have your attention, that's awesome that you made it past the third gif on this page. As a writer, I've been asked how it feels when you're finalizing a written piece for publication.
To put it simply, it's actually a struggle.
For instance when I thought I succeed in editing my novel, I was informed by a bunch of my friends how many typos were actually in the piece.
As you can imagine, I wasn't too happy.
Least to say, the situation could have been much worse.I got all of the typos fixed.
But even with my fixed typos I was still paranoid that there were some mistakes left over that I didn't catch from before.
So I would find myself always staying past midnight checking my manuscript for errors.
Without a doubt, it drove me completely nuts.So when all my friends then started to ask how my novel was doing, I would do something along the lines of this:
When really, I was like this: But after a couple a months, my paranoia subsided and I felt content with my manuscript and submitted it for publication.As soon as the publishers sent in the actual physical copy of my novel, I was over the moon.
Which then led me to progress forward on my second novel.I won't lie, it was hard coming up with a new idea to proceed my first novel.
I might have given up once or twice.
Okay, maybe there was a third time.
But it's coming together.Slowly but surly.
I never said it was going to be easy.
