Susan Shultz's Blog, page 2

31 days of Halloween: Stir of Echoes

Just as they say there’s a fine line between love and hate, there’s a fine line between a spiritual skeptic and a vacuous cavern of believe and susceptibility to spirit not at rest. Especially once that door is forced open.

At least, that’s what the 1999 film Stir of Echoes would have you believe.

The movie opens with a cocktail party or more of a beer and snack night in a working class Chicago neighborhood. Kevin Bacon plays a rough around the edges Tom Witzky and Kathryn Erbe of Law & Order: Criminal Intent fame plays his indie-cool wife, Maggie. They also have a son, Jake, who, much like Danny Torrance, has a bit of “The Shining.” In that Jake has the ability to communicate with the side.

Maggie also has a sister named Lisa, who is at the party and is a full believer of the supernatural. Played by independent movie darling Illeana Douglas, she offers to hypnotize someone to prove a point and Tom willing obliges, believing nothing will happen.

Fast forward to Tom coming out of a trance after we follow him down Lisa’s hypnotic rabbit hole — he sees visions and wakes up startled, tears streaming down his face. Lisa points out that Tom is one of the “8%” who truly are susceptible to full hypnosis. He learns he followed her instructions and let her stick a safety pin in his hand, and also revealed a decades old bullying memory which resulted in his tears. Try not to get hypnotized:

But this is only the beginning of Tom’s journey.

Now that the door is unlocked, strange things begin to happen to him. He is visited by the spectre of a young woman who seems to be urging him to do things to help her. Not so much a disbeliever now, Tom, are you?

A babysitter taking care of Jake while his parents are at an event finds out that Jake says he saw her sister, Samantha.

The babysitter becomes panicked and asks him how/when/where he saw her. Turns out, Samantha, who is mentally disabled, disappeared a while ago and her sister becomes suspicious of Jake and his family when Jake mentions he saw her.

With his newfound psychic connections, Tom can sense something is wrong at home. He runs back to check on Jake. The sister has taken Jake to a train station and Maggie and Tom involve a local policeman who intervenes and returns Jake to his parents. They all believe she was taking Jake to a train station to kidnap him, but it is only to bring Jake to her mother, who works at the train station, hoping to find out more about her sister’s disappearance.

The police officer gets to the bottom of the drama after the sister says Jake said he sees and speaks with Samantha all the time. The mother says the police have ignored their requests for help finding her. When the sister shows Tom and Maggie the photo, Maggie says she’s never seen her before. However, Tom, despite his denials at the time realizes its the girl who’s been appearing to him.

Things begin to progress quickly. Tom realizes his psychic abilities become more and more accurate. He dreams of a tragic incident that then immediately comes true. He sees the ghost in his house, always signified by the cold air and being able to see his breath. It’s like its only six degrees of Kevin Bacon in there! (Had to.)

As Samantha continues to appear to him, he revisits Lisa who he asks to undo what she has done. However, this time, Tom’s hypnosis only further opens the door — he envisions Samantha struggling for her life and instead of the word “Sleep” appearing on his hypnotic screen, he gets a message: DIG.

And dig he does.

This does not please his wife, as she is not a fan of having her basement ripped apart. It also does not please his neighbors, for reasons that will soon become known. Samantha’s sister was right to be suspicious of the story that her sister ran away.

Eventually, Tom’s visions and his work unravel the terrifyingly tragic tale of what happened to Samantha, and why she isn’t at rest — to explain it would ruin the end. This nifty little underdog of a ghost story is well-worth your time.

So, are you a skeptic? You might not be after this movie.

31 days of Halloween: Trick or Treat

You all know, if you are the one or two people reading this journey, how much I love anthology movies, and how much I love a good reckoning. Trick or Treat gives you both in spades.

This 2007 underdog is a special one as it is one of the few movies that take place ON Halloween, other than that other one that is sure to come up soon on this page, that is so worth watching. There have been others, but none like this.

So while it is sort of put together like an anthology, it is creatively four stories that tie together that happen simultaneously on the same Halloween night. This is punctuated by carefully placed moments where the characters interact. They are cautiously watched by a cute little trick or treater – (or is he??). “Sam” is dressed in a cute costume with a burlap sack head and buttons for eyes. He carries a crystalized candy oversized lollipop with a nice, sharp bite in it.

And much like him, we are basically observers of the celebratory chaos that is Halloween night.

The town in which the movie takes place appears to be sort of like a Salem, Mass. It seems to be a destination for Halloween — with festivities everywhere, news reporters documenting it, etc. Within this larger picture, we follow four separate stories that are kicked off by an opening scene.

A tipsy couple returns home after being out and about and the lady of the couple is already tired of the Halloween scene. Her husband, on the other hand, has turned the yard into nightmarish scene of ghoulish epicness. She’s complaining about how stupid Halloween is and blows out the jack o’lantern. Sacrilege! Don’t you know you must keep it lit until dawn, lest the Halloween spirits get you. Here’s some more history of the jack o’lanterns if you feel moved.

She is unimpressed, and proceeds to begin to tear down the outdoor decor before bed. Her husband is feeling a little frisky and encourages her to hurry up. I guess this means they made up.

(Here’s a parental warning, which I recently learned the hard way. This part of the movie is really the only scene inappropriate due to any sexual content — in my opinion for my 12 year old. And it is sort of a disappointment it is even included, but I sort of get it. The husband wakes up to what we think are screams of terror but instead its the TV, which we then flash to as it is his movie. It is literally only for a minute, but I was rather mortified. I told my child I totally forgot it was in the movie and she said she’d be more concerned if I did remember it specifically, so that’s that. But be warned!)

To carry on, she probably shouldn’t have doused the jack o’lantern, and you can watch to find out why.

I’m going to have to be vague in some of the rest of what I want to share, as each story has such great reveals and unexpected twists, including the end which really ties it all together.

We begin with a chubby trick or treater who enjoys smashing jack o’lanterns as he strolls through the town looking to steal and eat too much Halloween candy. He arrives to a house where we get the old “Please take only one!” and he proceeds to take all. (On a separate note, can I just say how much I hate when this happens. It sucks. Please don’t do this, in candy and in life.) So given my own personal bias, I’m going to say I have less than a lot of sympathy for the kid when the creepy homeowner dude arrives home and catches him in the act. To say the kid gets a taste of his own medicine is accurately nebulous. The homeowner also happens to be the kid’s school principal, Wilkins. He also has a child who is urgently asking his father to make a jack o’lantern. Wilkins gets impatient when his son continues to draw attention at an ill-advised time. We worry a little for Wilkins Jr.

The next story is a group of children who are going door to door asking for jack o’lanterns. They run into a young woman who is that one girl that doesn’t fit in. She’s created a ton of amazing jack o’lanterns, and the handsome boy of the group pays attention to her and compliments her work and her costume. She’s not surprisingly flattered. They encourage her to join them as they meet up with friends at what is supposed to be a haunted location in town that was witness to a terrible tragedy involving a school bus on Halloween. The jack o’lanterns are to be an offering to whatever restless spirits may still be there. Things go south quickly as the true reason for inviting the young girl who didn’t fit in are made clear. Teaching us again, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. And it also teaches us other lessons including mocking the spirits isn’t a good idea. Neither is testing the wrath of the girl who doesn’t fit on on the one day she apparently fits in pretty well.

There’s a group of young women who arrive in the town for some fun. They do discuss that one of them is looking for a suitable young man to be her “first time.” They naturally all go to local Halloween supply to get into their flirty fairy tale princess costumes and proceed with flirting with every young man they see to entice them to come to a Halloween party they intend to throw later. Naturally all oblige. The one who is still seeking a “date” is dressed as red riding hood, and sets out separately to see if she can find her big bad wolf. Turns out, she does, but not in the way either of them think. Too good to spoil!

The final scene comes from grouchy Brian Cox, our actor that may in fact appear in three of my choices of these 31 days. He plays an angry old man who is not enthralled with Halloween or trick or treaters. Our little Sam with his lollipop pays the man a visit and becomes Cox’s worst nightmare of a Halloween reveler. There’s more to who Cox is related to the entire movie.

All of the stories culminate together in the best reckoning of all.

I can’t recommend this movie enough. It is such a great celebration of all that is Halloween. Just make sure you remember not to mock the Halloween spirits, and on Halloween night, keep that jack o’lantern burning!

31 days of Halloween: Drag Me to Hell

This movie is crazy. That’s all.

But given it is written and directed by Sam Raimi, I would expect nothing less. Have you seen the Evil Dead? If you haven’t, and you are of the faint of heart, I do not recommend it. I actually love Evil Dead, which should come as a surprise to no one. In fact, when my youngest child was a baby, I spent many early morning feedings with it on to pass the time.

That also could explain a lot of things.

However, this isn’t about Evil Dead. It is about Drag Me to Hell. What the two movies have in common is they are both awesome and both so over the top graphically horrific that you find yourself bordering on hysterical laughter while screaming.

Poor Christine Brown. She means well. But she can’t get out of her own way. She’s sort of “in the middle” on every scale.

She’s in a boring mid-level bank job, hoping and praying to get a promotion, but her cut-throat coworker works the “boys club” angle, getting the boss tickets to The Big Game etc. to get ahead of her in line.

She’s pretty, but not in a glamorous, in your face stunning. She’s dating a very sweet guy, Clay, who happens to come from money and an upper class family which intimidates her and makes her feel he’s out of her league, even if he is played by Justin Long.

No offense, Justin!

This is exacerbated by the fact that he overhears his mother telling him about “that nice girl” she had envisioned for him who would know which spoon is for the escargot at the Country Club.

Christine is eager to make something happen in her life. She becomes obsessed with getting the promotion, feeling it will be the key to making more money and having a station in life that will impress Mr. and Mrs. Moneybags and get her into Clay’s world.

Now hold up a minute, before we even meet Christine, the movie opens with a dramatic scene in which a hispanic couple seek the help of a medium to save their son from a Gypsy curse. Seems the boy’s sticky fingers stealing from a Gypsy have him on a one way ticket to Hell, escorted by your friendly host, the Lamia. The Lamia is not friendly at all. Just kidding about that part.

SIDE NOTE: The Lamia has a long and historically rich background as a monster. I won’t get into the fairly unpleasant aspects of Lamia-lore, but if you have a strong stomach and/or haven’t yet had breakfast, you can visit your friends at Wikipedia for it. They are also sometimes viewed as a vampire. Either way, you don’t want to run into them.

Now, back to Christine. This movie proves that however horrific the monsters and darkness may be in a movie, capitalism can always beat it. Christine is so driven to get the job and beat the jerkhole coworker who is willing to stop at nothing to beat her in the contest that she reaches a point that most of us can relate to.

You know what I mean. That moment where you have to decide if success is worth sacrificing your own morals, empathy and human heart. That whole thing A Christmas Carol was based on. Once you make the decision that its ok to step on the heads, heart and hands of your fellow man in your ladder to the top, it is a slippery slope. With each step, it gets easier. The higher up you get, the more money you can make to build yourself an isolated tower to protect yourself. In some cases, you not only isolate yourself from the pain and suffering of the poor, you outright mock the bubonic plague that is surrounding you by holding a masked ball for you and your rich friends. Then death crashes anyway. But that’s a different movie and story. #EdgarAllenPoe

Anyway, back to Christine and her crossroads. She is faced with a very old and feeble woman who is facing a home foreclosure after several notices from the bank. Look, this is no sweet-grandma looking lady here. I feel you, Christine. Her one eye is cloudy and creepy. Her nails look like hawk’s talons and she’s gnarled and unpleasant. However, she implores Christine to give her more time. Christine is still more human than bank-bot so she goes to her boss, who says the woman has used up her get out of foreclosure free cards and she is out of time. The boss pointedly says it is important for a manager to be able to make these hard decisions and handle difficult moments like this.

In other words, if Christine wants the promotion, it’s do or die here. No pun intended.

Chrstine informs Mrs. Ganush she cannot extend the loan, which she does not take well. UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.

She’s not happy.

Initially, she falls to her knees and literally begs Christine for an extension. The old lady makes quite a scene. Christine is horrified and embarrassed and pushes her off while calling for security. This is seen by the old lady as the ultimate insult, saying she humbled herself before Christine and “You shame me?”

While Christine is now in good standing with the bank, she is not in good standing with the old woman, who also happens to be a Gypsy with some friends in lower places about which Christine will soon learn.

The next scene is when Mrs. Ganush confronts Christine in the parking garage. Surprisingly strong for a feeble old lady, they have quite the tussle which in true Raimi fashion includes a denture scene that can only be seen to be believed. So good luck with it:

The fight results in Mrs. Ganush taking a button off Christine’s jacket and putting a curse on it and giving it back.

This invites the Lamia into Christine’s life who apparently is not impressed with her possible promotion. Commence Christine’s slowly building terror as the Lamia starts to visit her, toss her around her apartment etc. Clay isn’t sure what is going on but the two of them visit a fortune teller who immediately recognized the sign of the Lamia curse. It further convinces Christine this is real.

Christine attempts to visit Mrs. Ganush to apologize. She is greeted by a young female family member who smiles slyly upon realizing who she is. The house is in full party mode and this apparently is because it is a funeral/wake for Mrs. Ganush. A little too late, Christine, for an apology. But not for another gruesome over the top scene involving a falling casket.

See, Christine, you and your peach cobbler are going to fit right in with mom and dad. As long as you can stop bringing your Lamia as your plus one.

The saddest part of this whole movie is that Christine finally gets the invite to Mr. and Mrs. Fancypants’ house with Clay. And she nails it. It turns out sharing shameful family secrets actually impresses Clay’s mother who admires her candor and ability to be resilient in the face of childhood challenges. It seems like her worries really were for naught, and if she had faith in herself there wouldn’t be a freaking Lamia trying to eat her soul now.

The continued torment follows her to the dinner, and all of her goodwill is up in flames as she has a breakdown which makes Clay’s parents now think she’s on drugs vs. cursed by a one-eyed Gypsy. And you can’t entirely blame them.

Christine’s fortune teller friend attempts to help her. She can enlist the services of the woman in the beginning of the movie who apparently is one of the only people who knows how to remove the curse of the Lamia by speaking with it directly. The seance scene is just spectularly terrifying. The Lamia can hope from person to person to goat to communicate and one is more terrifying than the other.

Suffice to say, that doesn’t quite work either. Eventually, in desperation, Christine decides her only escape is to return the button to Mrs. Ganush or what’s left of her. Christine goes full in on this and the scene is also amazing, filth, rain, digging up graves.

I’m going to spare any details of the end of the movie, because it involves such an amazing twist that anything more will spoil it.

You should really watch it. Also, you should watch Evil Dead.

But mostly, when it comes to sacrificing your integrity in order to be successful, ask yourself if that truly is the definition of success you want? I think I can tell you what Christine would answer if she had the chance to choose again.

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31 days of Halloween: House of Wax

I know, I know. It’s not every day. I’m trying, people.

Here, I will make it up to you by offering yet another GOAT of horror. Actually he might be the head GOAT.

Vincent Price. That’s all I have to say. Charming. Debonair. Hilarious. And terrifying. Is there any more of a haunting voice and presence than Vincent Price? There are so many choices for Vincent Price. Anyone who knows me might wonder why I would not include an Edgar Allan Poe role of Mr. Price, being a fan and all.

Well, this video is for you:

Aside from that, I’m still traumatized by the Pit and the Pendulum after watching it on the 4:30 movie.

So today, though there are many, many options to choose from Vincent Price, I’m going to talk about House of Wax. (This is not to be confused with the 2005 remake, which was suprisingly not entirely awful. The ghost of Janet Leigh may strike me down for saying this, but Paris Hilton was a fairly convincing scream queen. Sue me.) This is the 1953 classic. Vincent gets to play all of his charms in this movie. The tortured artist, the charming gentleman…and the monster!

We now take a brief break to quote Wikipedia:

In 2014, the movie was deemed “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” by the Library of Congress, and was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry.

And I’m back. Who isn’t creeped out by wax museums? Maybe it is just me. My horror movie past has made me suspect a dark motive for many innocent things. A hole in the ground could be a the home of a chipmunk OR it could be the lair of a giant spider. A dark, dingy restaurant could be a treastured dive or a place where a family of cannibals lures people into their basement after dropping something in their drink. It’s a curse, and it’s a gift, this paranoia.

Regardless, I get creeped out by wax museums, and that is when they aren’t real human beings inside having been murdered for their likeliness to Marie Antoinette. (oops, giveaway!)

He likes her a little too much.

So Vincent Price plays a talented sculptor of wax figures who takes true pride in his work and is tremendously devoted to it. His heartless partner decides that wax museums don’t make any money anymore so he opts, much to Vincent’s heartbreak, to burn it down for the insurance money instead. Of particular fixation (and maybe a little too obsessive) is his love of his beautiful Marie Antoinette.

Vincent, or Henry, is character’s name, is badly burned in the fire and ends up returning to reopen a wax museum with an apprentice as his hands are too burned to sculpt. Meanwhile, an attractive woman who also happens to be the fiance of the arsonist is murdered by a huddled form and her body is later stolen from the morgue.

The dead lady, Cathy Gray, played by Carolyn Jones who would later portray Morticia in the Addams family, is obviously stunning. Her best friend, Sue Allen, notices that the wax figure of Joan of Arc in the newly opened museum bears a striking resemblance to Cathy. Gee, I WONDER HOW THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED?

Sue is undeterred like all of our determined horror movie heroines dead set on solving the mystery despite the danger to themselves. And danger, there is, because Sue herself bears a striking resemblance to someone Henry was very fond of. Marie Antoinette! Uh oh. Sue better learn to swim in some wax fast. Eventually she notices that under Joan’s dark locks lurks Cathy’s golden hair. Commence scary scenes!

Time to get the roots done, Joan.

This movie also has one of those wonderful reveals when Henry’s handsome face is revealed to be, what else? Wax! And a disfigured monster is left behind.

The movie is just wonderful — an old classic, a creepy gothic tale perfect for a stormy night with some popcorn. And it better be Jiffy Pop. There are a ton of honorable mentions for VP, but another great one is House on Haunted Hill.

For the fun of it, here’s Vincent Price re-enacting his monologue from Thriller from memory.

31 days of Halloween: The Changeling

I missed a few days so to make up for it, I am going to give you a movie worth three posts in one.

If you love horror movies and you have not seen this movie, you are wasting your time reading this post and not running to whatever streaming/watching device you own to watch it. Seriously, it’s that good.

This movie varies from my number two and one horror movie of ALL TIME. I am not a random capitalization user. I use them rarely and judiciously. But this requires capitals. It is THAT GOOD.

The Changeling is a fascinating conundrum of big and small. It has a big lead actor — and by big I mean thunderous and omnipresent George C. Scott. The man is a sweeping mountain range and Grand Canyon of emotional responses. He’s able to show great anger, but also the tenderest moments in his grief.

It has a huge, majestic mansion that provides the perfect, mysterious and gothic backdrop.

Given that Scott is a composer in the film, it has a haunting score that in some ways is an important cast member throughout.

Stop telling us this nonsense, and tell us what’s the movie is about, you say?

The plot

In some ways, this is, for me, the best haunted house movie of all time. George C. Scott is John Russell, a man recovering from a tragic personal loss. He’s a successful composer who relocates to move on with his life and rents an impossibly ginormous house for one person in order to teach at a nearby college. According to Claire Norman, who works for the historical society (Trish VanDevere, who was married to Scott for a while in real life), the house was considered for a museum at one point but instead “I think it was meant to be lived in.”

It also has a music room, which is why Claire thought of John.

Classes and life go on for John, who seems to be fitting in nicely. He and Claire are sweet on each other though ghost hunting gets in the way as little by little the house seems to be “reaching out” to John. Noises that repeat like a pounding plumbing issue. Borderline cruel digs at his loss make appearances in one of the scariest scenes I’ve ever seen in a horror movie. I won’t share it and I won’t explain it because to do so would spoil it.

Instead of being frightened, John becomes fascinated with resolving who is reaching out to him and why. Being from the historical society, Claire is obviously into helping research. A house of the size means there are many options as to who is haunting John and the house.

An interesting moment is when John finally follows the mysterious noises only to unearth an hidden and walled off attic room. It obviously belonged to a child. There’s a tiny wheelchair covered with cobwebs. But wait, there’s more. There’s a music box. John recently composed a new piece and wouldn’t you know it — the piece he composed is note for note the same as the song on the music box. A song he swears he never heard before.

Eventually, John opts to hold a seance. While they don’t seem to be getting specific answers, the seance makes it pretty clear John is right that whoever is haunting the halls is not at rest, and wants John’s help.

The more John continues to dig, the more the town’s bureaucracy, including the local senator, using police as a puppet, who sits on the board of the society, and Claire’s mother, who is also on the society and a close friend of the senator, wishes to silence him. Whatever the mystery may be, it is clear that almost everyone other than John and Claire, and the ghost, want it to remain dead and buried.

As the mystery slowly begins to reveal itself, the repeated physical and mental obstacles John faces along the way push him near to the breaking point, losing patience with both man and ghost. The horror here is that John is barely healed himself. Do his heart’s broken pieces make him a worthy ally for the ghost? Is that how the ghost feels empathy from John. Does the ghost’s pain find John’s within? Is John driven to help the ghost because of how helpless he felt with his own loss?

These are fascinating questions for me. And must be for many as this movie has a tremendous cult following within anyone who has any horror knowledge.

The terror rises as the ghost’s efforts ramp up to the end. The horror hits its peak when we find out the truth. That the ghost could not be any more terrifying and horrifying than why the ghost exists. The venomous callousness and greed that willing swallowed an innocent life in exchange for a life of luxury and privilege.

The ending scenes result in a physical and emotional explosion that has been eerily and slowly building within us and within that house. We are left as raw and emotional as John and Claire likely are, leaving the shadow of the house in their wake. Why John? We have theories but we’ll never know.

But is the ghost at rest? You’ll have to watch and see.

GO WATCH IT. NOW.

In the meantime, enjoy the ghost’s music box theme, which John unknowingly composed again, one of the many beautiful pieces in this score.

31 days of Halloween: Night of the Living Dead

I have long had a love/hate relationship with zombies. When I was very young, I watched a movie that I wrote about in Octobers past called Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things. I was TOO young, really. But I had an old tiny tv and it was on the late night horror movie schedule. Later on, that impact of the dead returning to life impacted my real life enough that I used the trauma in a horror novella you might want to check out — The Blacksmith.

Night of the Living Dead was incredibly influential for its time, and it continues to be. George Romero is another GOAT/MVP of horror. There’s certainly a ton of analysis on what type of social commentary it provides — some of it in your face and some of it more subtle. Here, I tend to focus on the horror movie that lies upon the surface of all that.

The opening scene really sets the tone. The poking of a childhood fear. There’s really nothing scarier than recalling those sleepless nights of believing a monster is under your bed and waiting for those long dark hours to turn into dawn.

Barbara and her brother Johnny go to visit their mother’s grave. Johnny is brash with his complaints about the inconvenience and wasting money on flowers. Barbara, like many of us – well, me in particular – views a graveyard as a sacred space to be respected. Rather than Johnny’s take that visits and money are going down the drain for no one, Barbara views it as offering a gesture to those who have gone before us. Barbara views it as we have no way of knowing whether “They” can hear us or “They” still linger somehow.

As Barbara gets more and more uneasy, Johnny, as many dear siblings do, notices and starts to poke at her that she’s “still scared” of cemeteries. Whether she is or not, Johnny’s mocking monster voice pushes her over the edge. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara…”

He learned his lesson, that Johnny.

Johnny pushes it too far when a figure actually appears in the cemetery. Because it turns out, they WERE coming to get Barbara. And they are coming. All of them.

For some reason that never becomes quite clear, the dead are coming to live with a ravenous hunger for the living. Barbara escapes after Johnny becomes “Incapacitated.” She arrives at a farmhouse where the occupants are also leftovers at this point. She meets up with a man who is also hiding and attempts to break through Barbara’s comatose shock to get answers, a car, anything. Eventually Ben breaks through, and they find out there are also people in the basement who’ve been hiding as well, not helping them or alerting them they were there.

Things are tense as Ben, Barbara and others butt heads with the father of the family in the basement, Harry Cooper. This guy is a giant jerk who most of the house occupants, including his wife, and the audience, and humanity would like to see served to the zombies as an enchilada special with a side of salsa.

“Now, listen Barbara – My name is Harry Cooper and I’m a giant know it all. I know you are in shock but blink twice if you want a zombie to eat me. Blink three times if you especially want that zombie to be a family member to really make it worth your while.”

The rest of the movie is the inner house dynamic along with trying to find ways to escape. Things go tragically, and gruesomely, as you can expect. What’s interesting though, is the end of the movie when we humans seem to have vanquished the dead. — With that power comes a perverse need to flex our muscles over the remaining zombies now in captivity. I know I’m a bleeding heart in many ways, but the zombies aren’t truly evil, as it were. They can’t cognitively reason. They aren’t intentionally trying to harm people for the sake of harm. They are comparative to a shark walking on land. As Hooper would say in Jaws, they are just eating machines. The humans in the end who enjoy torturing them as they flail, confused and clumsy, trapped in a cage — they are exhibiting intentional cruelty.

So whose the monster in this movie, after all?

31 days of Halloween: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

In the last two or three years (AC, after The Conjuring), if anyone asked me about a horror movie recommendation, this was my go to movie choice.

This movie isn’t a flashy slashfest. It is a slow, building horror with truly terrifying moments.

The movie opens with police investigating a house full of murdered people and most of the causes of death are clearly evident, unfortunately for them. However, there is one woman, naked and tucked away into an unearthed part of the house. From the outside, she looks flawless. She looks better dead than I do a live most days, to be honest. Maybe a little pale.

They take the bodies, including the mysterious woman, now known as Jane Doe, as is the usual for unidentified dead. As an aside, is anyone actually named John or Jane Doe? I wonder how they feel about this standard reference?

Dad Tommy and son Austin run the local mortuary/medical examiner’s office in the small town where everyone knows everyone’s name, and their grandparents’ names and what kind of jam they were known for that is still probably in the cellar somewhere.

Austin would rather be on a date.

Young Austin is ready for a date night and honestly ready to break out of his current lifestyle. What a shock – Why would he want to leave such a fun job? As he gets ready to leave for the night, the police bring in Jane Doe. It’s clearly a mystery and the cops want the cause of death asap as it might offer clues in the mass murder case they are dealing with. Something tells me these guys usually aren’t dealing with mass murders.

Austin (Emile Hirsch) feels guilty so he stays to help his dad, played by the utterly delightful Brian Cox. Brian last visited us in horror in The Ring, as the father of a demon child. Now he’s singing the jingle on the McDonald’s commercials. The multi-talented fella keeps us guessing!

To tell you more about what transpires would spoil the rabbit hole of terror that these two fall into. Suffice it to say while Jane Doe looks perfect on the outside, she is not quite so on the inside. And be prepared because you see quite a lot of her insides. It is an autopsy, after all!

Make sure you watch to the end! It’s important.

31 Days of Halloween: Anthology double feature

Naturally, I missed the second day of my 31 day commitment to write about one scary movie a day for October, so today I present a double feature of movie spotlights for your horrific pleasure.

These two segments are not in your regular Netflix rotation, but they feature some of the all-time greatest classic horror actors — including my personal favorite, Ingrid Pitt. Bonus points for the man, Peter Cushing, who is doing double duty by appearing in both of today’s selections. And still found time to appear in Star Wars.

The House that Dripped Blood, circa 1971

This movie is a set of tales that in some cases exhibit the unexplainable, and in others just downright evil.

The initial story involves a writer who can’t get inspired (I know the feeling, buddy) until he finally creates an evil villain so moving that he’s finally writing away. However, “Dominick” is TOO real. To the point where the writer is seeing him in the flesh, much to his worn-out wife’s dismay. Until…a plot twist that even our mystery writer couldn’t have come up with, which is both terrifying but morally satisfying.

The next is our dear Peter Cushing as a retiree who settles in the country. The lonely fellow happens upon a wax museum (Note: Never a good sign in horror movies.) One of the statues is a lovely woman who mystifies all that see her — it reminds Peter of a woman he was once in love with. Then a friend comes to visit from the city and now HE can’t leave because he’s also in love with the wax figure. Think there’s something more to this story? You’re right.

The next story brings VIP GOAT MVP and any other acronyms you can think of of horror, Christopher Lee, as a single father attempting to wrangle his “incorrigible” daughter who looks like a little angel. He employs a nanny who is told ala Joan Crawford, little Jane is to have NO DOLLS EVERR. This seems cruel to the poor sweet child. The nanny tries to intervene, and suffice this “rebellious nanny takes a stand against mean dad” is not going to end like The Sound of Music. Unless the hills are alive with the sound of screaming.

This is me. No it isn’t. But it is important to have goals. My goal is Ingrid Pitt.

Finally, my favorite episode. A long-standing vampire playing actor is renting the house (which I assume does not have a sign that indicates it drips blood as a welcome) with his costar, the voluptuous and charming Ingrid Pitt, basically playing herself as the hot chic who gets bitten in vampire movies. The vampire actor finds an old cloak in a store that allows him to play his part “more authentically” as it were. Ouch, says Ingrid! The cloak apparently turns him into a real vampire. Almost. Hint hint.

It’s the charcuterie of 70’s horror, this one. You need to watch it!

Tales from the Crypt 1972

Sticking with movies nearly as old as me, Tales from the Crypt, the early version, follows another anthology format, but of course, as Tales from the Crypt goes, each is a moral reckoning.

It opens with a group of people who don’t know each other entering what appears to be a rather “crypt-like” room, stones and whatnot. It’s clear they don’t know why there are there. They are greeted by a hooded figure who asks them all what they were doing before they arrived — given their confusion.

One by one, they share their most recent memories.

The first entry is an amazingly glamorous Joan Collins pre-Dynasty era. I like this one because I’m not a fan of Christmas so any Christmas-related horror gives me a certain joy, sans tidings. Joan decides to take her greed into her own hands — and learns the hard way that coal in your stocking isn’t the worst thing that could happen to the naughty on Christmas Eve.

He knows when you take a poker to someone’s head.

The next is a guy who leaves his family on a “business trip” but fully intends to leave his wife and child high and dry, jetting off with his girlfriend to a new life. Things along the way don’t go as planned, though, and his “picture perfect” idealized future isn’t quite what he imagined.

The next episode is, in my opinion, one of the saddest in horror anthologies. My boy Peter Cushing is the guy who doesn’t quite fit in on the block to the snobby neighbors who are worried about property values (their descendants must have moved to Fairfield County, Connecticut.) He is a widower who raises loving dogs and is a favorite of the neighborhood children. All these visitors and residents apparently create nuisances for the rich family nearby and especially the young jerk. They can’t buy him out so instead he decides to drive Peter Cushing into a miserable existence until he moves or disappears otherwise. Neighbor dude gets his dogs taken away. He creates rumors that cause local families to keep the kids away. Then, on Valentine’s Day of all days, he sends him numerous rhyming valentine’s that repeated insult him. Over and over. So harsh, man.

Peter Cushing does not take this well. But in the end, his is not the only heart that breaks. I’ll leave it at that!

The next one is super disturbing. A well-to-do couple gets a mysterious token that has an inscription on it. Facing financial struggles, the husband realizes he can make a wish on the token and they get rained on with money. However, as we know, too good to be true usually is. Wishes start to go downhill after an unforeseen tragedy occurs. The last wish is truly one of the most horrific moments I’ve seen on horror film. You’ll have to watch…if you dare!

The last entry is aggravating and satisfying. A corporate takeover of a home for the blind removes all personal aspects of the company and makes everyone miserable only caring about the bottom line because their goal is heartless and not about the people they serve. Oh wait, that’s not about this movie… (Actually, it is.) A group of poor blind men have a man take over the management of their home. He cuts costs that include food and heat for the blind men while eating in high style, decorating his own quarters with priceless antiques and menacing them when they try to complain with his vicious dog.

You know how they say no one gets the other’s perspective unless they walk in their shoes. In this case, a lesson is imparted by having this director see, or not see, things from his residents’ eyes. Even the dog gets in the fun.

In the end, these two movies will give you such a snapshot into what’s amazing about late 60’s and early 70’s horror. Camp, cleavage, classic, cause for regret.

Happy watching.

31 Days of Halloween: The Fog

In no particular order, I’m going to share with you what I feel are the most influential horror movies I’ve ever seen for your Halloween reading pleasure for the 31 days of Halloween. They might not be the ones you’ve seen or maybe you’ve seen them too many times. Yet, I’ll continue.

Fresh off the unprecedented success of 1978’s Halloween, icon John Carpenter grabbed some familiar faces from that effort to embark (it is ship related, get it?) on a tale of greed, viciousness, and our Creepshow-esque favorite, a moral reckoning.

This movie has one of the all-time, in my opinion, best opening scenes. You can’t beat John Houseman even if he was reading the phone book. But he’s not reading the phone book — on the eve of the 100th anniversary of Antonio Bay, the fictional village in California, Houseman is telling scary stories to local children on the shoreline. He tells the story of a mysterious fog that encapsulated a ship heading toward the shore. Those on the ship saw a light, “a campfire, like this one.” Falsely believing it was a light to lead them to safety.. instead it lead them to the rocks. Someday, John says, the fog might return. You get where this is going right? I’ll let John tell it.

The next scenes are several simultaneously happening stories. Horror queen Janet Leigh along with Halloween-alumna Nancy Loomis play the chamber president determined to get every detail right of the 100th anniversary celebration right (we all know her, right?) and her long-suffering assistant.

Along with the queen, we have the princess at the time, Jamie Lee Curtis, playing the antithesis of the naive, innocent Laurie Strode in Halloween. Her character is a free-spirited hitchhiker who meets up with Tom Atkins. Strange things begin to happen in Antonio Bay. Why, you ask?

Well let’s visit with local priest Father Malone, played convincingly conflicted by Hal Halbrook who has discovered his great great (etc) grandfather’s journal. Turns out that little shipwreck we heard about? The one that conveniently dropped a ton of gold coins to start Antonio Bay? It wasn’t exactly an accident.

The journal outlines that the original residents of Antonio Bay had intentionally planned this as the ship contained not only the gold but a leper colony seeking to settle down. The original residents, all of whom still have descendants in town, were psyched about the gold, not so ready to send out the Welcome Wagon for the lepers. They purposely put the light in the wrong place so as to sink the ship, the Elizabeth Dane, kill her passengers, and grab the gold later.

Needless to day, Father Malone seems to think its a bit in bad taste to celebrate such events, but Janet Leigh is going to have her candlelight ceremony regardless.

Meanwhile, the fog starts to roll in. Jamie Lee and her new boyfriend start to see crazy things happening, including the fog overcoming a ship of fisherman. When the bodies are recovered, it looks like they’ve been in the water for months. Hmm. Mysterious!

Overseeing all is the gravely voiced and frequent Love Boat guest Adrienne Barbeau as radio DJ Stevie Wayne. Stevie’s station is at the top of a light house, which not only means she takes care of a week of cardio every day walking up the stairs to work, she also can see the whole town. And the fog. She alerts the fisherman that a mysterious fog is rolling in.

This is KAB and you might want to avoid the supernaturally glowing fog, Antonio Bay. Just sayin.

Stevie starts to realize all is not well when she is corresponding with another Halloween cast member, Charles Cyphers, as Dan the weatherman. When she watches the fog approach his headquarters, and while on the phone, she hears something approach his office, and he’s gone.

Barbeau tends to serve as an unwitting narrator, savior, and in the end, quite the profound wrapper upper — a voice in the darkness for a long night in Antonio Bay.

More bizarre events continue and little by little we see mysterious figures in the fog are not to be messed with. Remnants of the Elizabeth Dane begin washing up on shore. Eventually, suffice it to say, Janet Leigh was not to have the perfect candlelight procession she had envisioned. Each of the surviving descendants may or may not experience a reckoning, along whoever gets in the way.

It is a classic ghost story, and one of the seafaring kind, which always seems to add another level of horror to it. If you are looking for a classic, quaint ghost story, this one fits the bill.

With an ending not to be missed — but that will be John Houseman’s and my secret until you watch it!

Shirley Jackson

I met you in seventh grade

I can smell the pages

I still use them to dry my tears

You understand my loss

I’ll see you in your secret spaces

I can’t mend your heart

But can meet it’s broken places

I don’t know what’s beyond

The depth of your pond

Or what it keeps afloat

The little girl I was

Makes you a fried cheese sandwich

Without fuss

Buries my treasures

Like baby teeth

If there’s a another realm

We will find each other

I won’t speculate

On the existence

Of soul

I’ll just put this light on

Knowing you make mine whole

I can’t know who you are

But I’m lost –

In your cup full of stars

Buy this book.

After that, buy mine.