Tansy Rayner Roberts's Blog, page 49

ROBOTECH REWATCH 35: Field Promotion is for Girls

Robotech will be rewatched after these messages!

Dana Sterling is on the fast-track to something…

Episode 39 – Southern Cross

So, these Robotech Masters dudes are still in orbit around the planet, being vaguely threatening. They want to steal all of the Earth’s supply of Robotech. A world-wide public address announcement goes out, explaining the story so far.

Earth’s military leaders argue about how to best use their greatly-outnumbered forces. Sadly there’s a pre-existing regulation that Earth forces always have to attack first, regardless of whether it makes military sense, because it makes some kind of philosophical statement about them as a race.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD RULE.

Dana and Marie butt heads in the meeting, and both are grumpy about not being in the first wave of the attack against the flagship. Dana is especially displeased about the 15th being put in charge of civil defence instead of getting to attack. Which seems odd considering the attack is happening in orbit!

Sean Phillips, meanwhile, learns that there are definite consequences of getting busted to Private – his usual Veritech hover tank has been reassigned. He finds a brand new prototype tank and is delighted to take it for a spin, but is quickly disabused of his assumption – the new tank is Dana’s, not his. He gets the rust bucket in the corner.

The base comes under such heavy attack during the battle that Dana ends up dragging the 15th out on an unofficial rescue, despite the angry protests of Nova Satori (officially now the Fun Police). To Nova’s shock, Angelo Dante (previous president of the Dana Sterling is Too Damn Impulsive Club) supports Dana’s call, as does the rest of the squadron.

The military leaders realise too late that they need to bring in the 15th, but there’s no time to get them in place. Luckily for them, Dana and her boys are already on the ground.

This is our first real chance to see hovertanks in action, and it’s pretty amazing. Hovertanks are a lot chunkier than the Veritechs flown during the First Robotech War, and they mostly have an open cockpit which seems frankly unsafe. It does mean we get to see Dana’s winged helmet a lot, though, which is kind of adorable.

While being technically ground support, the hover tanks do seem to be able to transform to a flying configuration (or at least they jump and defy gravity quite a lot), and they have a pleasingly high range of weaponry which means LOTS of explosions when they’re around.

General Rolf Emerson discusses the disastrous battle with one of his men, who points out that Dana’s command decisions at least saved the base. He suggests a medal but General Emerson decides to promote her instead.

Remember when I said last week’s shower scene was likely to be replayed? Apparently I was wrong, because Dana gets a whole new shower scene in this episode, which likewise pans over her naked legs but actually holds back from flashing her breasts this time. Is that progress?

She does, however, flash Nova Satori when the MP grumpily admits she’s been sent to escort Dana to a promotion ceremony rather than the brig for her insubordination, and Dana is so shocked that her towel comes flying off. Because anime.

With everyone gathered for Dana’s promotion, the announcement is made but she is nowhere to be seen. Nova is startled as she knows Dana was right there a minute ago…

And in comes Dana, making an entrance in her hover-tank because she didn’t want to get promoted without including her baby. They parade into the assembly hall together, to the eye-rolling and cheers of her squad, only for Dana’s hover-tank to sprout holographic (?) pink bunny ears, and her to regale them all with a bunch of rabbit-and-hat themed puns.

Oh, Dana, don’t ever change.

This weekly rewatch of classic animated space opera Robotech is brought to you as bonus content for the Musketeer Space project.

Thanks to everyone who has linked, commented, and especially to my paid patrons.

You can support Musketeer Space at Patreon.

Friday Links Has Many Companions

Companion Piece, the new ‘Chicks Dig’ essay collection from Mad Norwegian Press, has just announced its official Table of Contents. Edited by a wonderful assortment of Lizes (L.M. Myles of the Verity! Podcast, AKA Scottish Liz, and Liz Barr of No Award, chair of Continuum 11), this book is packed full of essays about Doctor Who companions, and the women who are fascinated by them.)

I’m in the book, talking about Sara Kingdom! And Tehani is in it, talking about Tegan! And I am so excited to read all the essays, I can’t even tell you. Mags L Halliday writes here about the personal side of her own essay about Barbara and Ian.

L.M. Myles, meanwhile, wrote a great ‘My Two Cents’ piece in response to recent Verity! episode, Companions Who Never Were. Because yes, Verity!’s theme for this year is Doctor Who companions too. Liz’s piece is called The Companions Who Should’ve Been.

Mark Webb (how cool/weird is it to get reviews during the writing of a book? Headspin) Musketeer Space, which I really appreciate. Hopefully it helps new readers find the story.

Finally, since this is a super personal Friday Links this week, a few tabs I didn’t want to keep open any more, but want to keep handy for my own reference:

The CWA scones recipe

Tri Musketera, a Russian take on The Three Musketeers!

John Finnemore on the writing of the Cabin Pressure finale (no one is allowed to read this without actually listening to the Cabin Pressure finale, which is amazing)

And because we are a Phineas and Ferb household right now:

Issue #1 – Bitch Planet (2014)

Title: Bitch Planet #1

Writer: Kelly Sue Deconnick

Artist: Valentine De Landro

The Buzz: You had me at Kelly Sue Deconnick. But the idea of Orange is the New Black in Space was pretty damned tantalising too. This is an out and out intersectional feminist rage machine of a story, touted as “Margaret Atwood meets Inglourious Basterds.”

All You Need To Know: In a world where female compliance is mandatory, women who break the rules are shipped off to “Bitch Planet,” a prison outpost with a side order of grotesquely invasive reality TV. So maybe like The Hunger Games but with more angry naked middle aged women who want to cut you.

Story: Men suck. Specifically, Marian’s husband really, really sucks. But Marian, the devastated, completely innocent (if slightly non-compliant) middle aged white lady prisoner, is not the hero of this story. Penny Rolle can’t fit her tits in that uniform, and Kamau Kogo will beat you up so hard if you cross her, or anyone she chooses to protect. I can’t even start with telling you what’s going on, but it’s snarky and confronting and basically amazing.

Art: This book is full of female nudity, but in a – I don’t know how else to put this – deliberate, political way. An extraordinary range of body types and powerful imagery of non-compliant women rioting and messing each other up more than makes up for the ‘oh hello, vaginas’ factor, and the extreme violence. This book has a lot to say about gender and race, and it’s saying it through the art as well as the writing. Portraying a lot of female nudity for narrative reasons other than sexualisation is a pretty difficult thing to do, especially in a story that’s at least partly about the exploitative use of female bodies… it’s good, and it’s awful, and I’m glad this is the artist on this book because he makes the story feel like art. The use of colour (especially pink) is almost as clever and memorable as the use of purple in the David Aja Hawkeye run.

But What Did I Miss?: Nothing, Bitch Planet is new, it’s original and creator-owned, start here and never look back. Just so you have no doubt about the intention behind this story, the back matter of issue 1 includes an overtly intersectional feminist essay on Bitch Planet and racial politics, by Danielle Henderson of Feminist Ryan Gosling.

Would Read Issue 2?: Why is this not on my iPad already?

PREVIOUS ISSUE #1 POSTS

Thor #1 (2014)

Spider-Woman #1 (2014)

All-New Captain America #1 (2014)

Captain America & the Mighty Avengers #1 (2014)

S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 (2014)

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #1 (2015)

Issue #1 – The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2015)

Title: The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #1

Writer: Ryan North

Artist: Erica Henderson

The Buzz:

“Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! She’s a human and also squirrel! Can she climb a tree? Yes she can, easily.”

I didn’t even know that much about the character when the buzz started but man, did the internet get excited about this comic existing. Sometimes you just have to lie back and trust the internet.

All You Need To Know:

“WHAT?! You got accepted into college and you’re not even gonna major in SQUIRRELS?”

Story:

This is one of the most adorable comics I’ve ever read. Doreen, AKA Squirrel Girl, is moving out of her squat in the Avengers Mansion attic to go to college and become the best version of herself, which includes a secret identity, and a whole work-life-squirrels balancing act. Yes, she talks to squirrels, but she plans to pretend she doesn’t, because secret identity. Then Kraven the Hunter (my favourite stupid Spider-Man villain of all time) arrives to mess up her life! Armed with Deadpool’s Guide to Super Villains and the proportional strength and skill of a squirrel, can Doreen save the day and make friends with her new roommate?

Art:

Fun and peppy with a bonus feature of girl characters who aren’t weirdly skinny (a girl superhero with bodacious curves, a realistic waist and mighty thighs, I may swoon), and faces that express everything. Also, squirrels. SQUIRRELS. Did I mention how adorable this comic is? I want to feed it acorns and watch stupid movies with this comic. I want this comic to be my college roommate.

But What Did I Miss?:

Apparently this is not the first time there has been a Squirrel Girl comic, but what do I know? I KNOW NOTHING. Also apart from a teaser at the end, this is a nice standalone single issue story just like comics used to be in the olden days.

Would Read Issue 2?:

And every other issue, until the end of time.

PREVIOUS ISSUE #1 POSTS

Thor #1 (2014)

Spider-Woman #1 (2014)

All-New Captain America #1 (2014)

Captain America & the Mighty Avengers #1 (2014)

S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 (2014)

Musketeer Space Part 35: Is It Love Or Just Paris?

It’s Musketeer Day and I have FINALLY seen the first episode of the new season of the BBC Musketeers!

I don’t know how to feel about a Rochefort without an eyepatch. But I did appreciate the boys all wearing pretendy hats as part of their disguises. Also, Constance as lady-in-waiting for the win! About time too. I’ll almost certainly be writing proper reviews later (much later) for a Musketeer Media month, but only after the series is done and people have had a chance to watch it because as you all know by now, I spoil EVERYTHING when I flail.

Meanwhile, for a change of pace, I give you Dana D’Artagnan texting boys, flirting with girls and going to parties. Don’t blame me, it’s all there in the original story!

OK maybe Dumas didn’t include the part about texting boys.

Happy birthday to my darling daughter. Raeli is 10 years old today and thus any future references to her rolling her eyes at my Musketeer obsession (she does this a lot) or squeeing about Robotech will refer to her as Ms10. MY GIRL SO GROWN UP OMG.

Start reading Musketeer Space from Part 1

Missed the last installment? Track back to Part 34

Read “Seven Days of Joyeux,” a festive Musketeer Space prequel.

Main Page & Table of Contents

PREVIOUSLY IN MUSKETEER SPACE: Dana D’Artagnan and Milord De Winter have been circling each other for months now. She’s pretty sure Milord kidnapped that boy she likes, and she recently fought a duel with his protective sister-in-law. Also, he might be an agent working against the Crown. If only Dana was a real Musketeer, she could probably come up with a better plan to get Milord’s attention and find Conrad Su, but you work with the resources you have. As always, Dana’s best resources are her friends…

NOW READ ON!

This chapter is dedicated to new Patreon supporter Mihaela Marija Perkovic – thank you so much for your support!

Chapter 35: Is it Love or Just Paris?

“They grow up so fast,” sighed Aramis, looking at Dana’s reflection in the full-length mirror.

Despite the frock incident of the previous night, Dana had thrown herself on Aramis’ mercy on the grounds that if anyone knew how to dress for a seduction, it was her.

“Let me get this straight,” said Porthos, who was sprawled on Aramis’ couch with her feet securely on Athos’ lap. “You got in a fist fight with this Countess of Clarick yesterday, we fought a duel with she and her friends this morning, and now you have a hot date with her and her brother?”

“Brother-in-law,” Dana corrected, staring at her own image. Aramis had taken the ‘God, no more dresses’ plea to heart, and dressed Dana in a sweeping black tunic with a neckline that could only be described as ‘dramatic,’ and figure-hugging bronze trousers. She looked surprisingly glamorous, once she managed to relax her shoulders.

Since she wasn’t hiding her identity as such, she wore a metal tag with a fleur-de-lis stamped on it on a chain around her neck instead of any more pretty and society-styled jewellery. Treville had sent it around that morning – flying the Musketeer troop carrier, Dana was entitled to a tag and a blue flight uniform, though not the jacket yet.

So close to being a real Musketeer. She would take it. She would take whatever she could get.

“I’m impressed,” said Porthos, eyeing Dana’s appearance and handing over the appropriate shade of lipstick. “I was a Musketeer for at least two years before I started setting up my own honey traps.”

“It’s not a honey trap,” Dana said hotly.

“So you’re not planning to seduce this Milord to find out what he knows about the missing Conrad?”

Dana scowled. “It might be slightly a honey trap. Only, don’t call it that. Ever.”

“I disapprove,” Athos volunteered from his position on the couch.

“No one asked you,” said Aramis. She encircled Dana’s neck with a necklace of bronze spirals. “This looks amazing. He won’t be able to resist you.”

“Not sure you should be going in without backup, though,” Porthos said thoughtfully. “A fake date would make you look less eager, and could help with extraction if it all goes pear-shaped. You could take Athos.”

Dana and Athos exchanged appalled looks. “No,” they both decided in unison. “Just – no.”

“I’ll be fine,” Dana added. The thought of trying to flirt with Milord while any of her Musketeer friends were in earshot was basically horrible.

Athos pushed Porthos’ feet aside and came over to look at Dana. He folded his arms at her. “You’re sure this is a good idea, D’Artagnan?”

She lifted her chin defiantly at him. “Not all problems can be solved with wine and swords, you know.”

“That shows a distinct lack of imagination on your part,” he replied. “Is he pretty, this minister assassin kidnapper person?”

“A bit,” she admitted reluctantly.

“Pretty people are very untrustworthy. Just look at Aramis.”

“Hey!” Aramis protested.

“And pretty men who talk politics are the worst of all,” he went on. “I told you that story already and it didn’t end well for me.”

“You’re not actually trying to give me romantic advice, are you, Athos?” Dana asked in a very small voice.

There was that appalled expression again. “God, no. I’m going to stop talking now. Have a good night. Don’t do anything Porthos would do.”

“HEY!” Porthos protested, but then paused in reflection. “No, that’s fair enough, actually.”

So this was awkward. The gathering to which Dana had been invited included not only Milord Vaniel De Winter, who had his nose in a tablet in a far corner of the room, but also that morning’s duellists: Lady Maure, the Earl of Doncaster, and a cranky, media-patched “Baron” Sheffield who remembered nothing about the duel at all but remained deeply unhappy about the whole thing.

In retrospect, Dana should have brought Porthos, if only because she and Doncaster had bonded over trying to wound each other in the most grandstanding way possible, and that could only translate to dinner party gold.

To Dana’s surprise, Bee and Vaniel were not staying in Paris Satellite accommodation at all, but in a dagger-class scout ship called the Matagot. It looked like a plain black raven ship from the outside – for security purposes, Bee claimed, but inside was as beautifully furnished as a royal apartment.

Dana was shown into a parlour – what kind of spaceship had a freaking parlour – by Miss Columbina (call me Kitty!), Milord’s very pretty personal assistant. She had hair that fell in soft purple curls around her round face, and wore a dress that consisted mostly of silk butterflies.

“How do you know the family?” she asked as she guided Dana through to the others.

“Oh, I met Vaniel on a train, and then this morning I fought a duel with Bee and three of her friends,” Dana said lightly, hoping to see Kitty’s eyes widen in surprise.

Instead, the other woman laughed. “I think that’s the tamest way they’ve ever befriended a new companion before. No bear-wrestling, or pirates? For shame.”

“I suppose you see a lot, with the De Winters as your employers,” said Dana, wondering if this girl might be a useful resource.

“You’re certainly going to have to try harder if you want to shock me,” said Kitty, and she gave Dana a look which suggested she rather wanted her to try. “Let me get you a glass of champagne, Captain D’Artagnan…”

“I’m not – “ Dana started to say, because she definitely wasn’t a captain, was going to be lucky to fly co-pilot when they shipped out on campaign, but Kitty had already flitted away towards the bar before Dana could wrap her mouth around the words ‘Arms-Sergeant’.

“Dana.” Bee greeted her warmly, with a hint of humour in her eyes. Dana had a suspicion that she was at least partly going along with this whole ‘set up Vaniel and Dana’ game out of mischief, rather than any genuine interest.

On the other hand, it wasn’t like Dana was in it for genuine reasons either.

As it turned out, flirting at this gathering was not the difficult part; any and all of the De Winters’ guests were more than happy to flirt with the mysterious Musketeer who was dressed to kill. But Vaniel De Winter was obviously participating in the evening under sufferance, and showed no specific interest in getting to know Dana better.

So much for a honey trap.

Half an hour in, and Dana had entirely failed to be alluring and intriguing and all those other things that had seemed like good ideas at the time. She had exchanged exactly three sentences with Milord, each polite and not especially interesting.

“You look you want to run out of here,” said a soft, amused voice near her ear.

Dana turned and saw Kitty the assistant, standing very close to her. She smiled in what she hoped was a welcoming way. “I don’t do well at these sorts of things,” she admitted.

The other girl smiled at her. She had glitter in her lipgloss, Dana noticed. “Want the grand tour?”

This, this could be useful. “Absolutely!” Dana said.

There was no spaceship more alluring or attractive than a musket-class dart. Dana was steadfast and loyal about that sort of thing. Okay, so she had been slightly turned on by the Moth fighter, but she was only human. No one could be expected to kick a Moth fighter out of bed.

Matagot was a raven-class scout, and there was nothing remotely sexy about them, most of the time. Dana had hated the idea of flying one of these when she was considering (not really considering) possible job options outside the Royal Fleet.

But, she had to admit… this particular raven-class scout might be the exception to her rule. Never mind all the glamorous decor, and the gym that wouldn’t have been out of place in a Paris Satellite rec hub. It was the cockpit that interested her, and the engine itself.

Miss Kitty Columbina had to duck back to the party for a moment or two, to check that the champagne levels were still flowing, or whatever, and Dana dropped herself lightly into the flight seat at the helm. The entire console had been tricked out and customised, by the looks of it. No way the standard design for ravens involved this much chrome.

Something beeped.

Dana lifted her hands in the air quickly, hoping she hadn’t set off any security alarms. The beep sounded again, and then again.

She realised that it was coming from the beaded evening bag that Aramis had pressed on her, because apparently taking a military issue pack to a cocktail party was inappropriate.

There shouldn’t be much in the tiny bag – lipstick, basically, which Dana had only accepted under sufferance. But then she remembered the tiny ornamental clamshell that she had been carrying around with her since the Marquise de Wardes passed it to her in the Hotel Coquenard Bathroom.

She opened it slowly, checking that the camera setting was not on. It wasn’t an incoming call, but a text. The words Have you given any further thought to my suggestion? hung on the screen, waiting for her attention.

Dana froze for a moment. What did Milord think he was doing? Why ignore her at a party only to – oh. Except, of course, he didn’t know that she had the clamshell. He had given it to the Marquise.

As she stared at it, a second text came in.

I believe I can tempt you, if you let me.

Dana hesitated, then summoned up what she remembered of the way the Marquise spoke, to reply:

I think I would prefer it if you were after me for my looks. One gets so tired of being a political pin-up.

Who says I’m not interested in everything you have to offer?

Why, Milord De Winter. That was almost smooth. You’re losing your touch.

Perhaps you make me nervous in person.

I refuse to believe you’ve ever been nervous about anything in your life. That would require you to stop thinking about work for ten minutes, at least.

I’ll have you know I spent fifteen minutes yesterday ignoring work altogether. Of course, I was asleep at the time…

He sleeps. Not an android replica, then?

Sorry to disappoint.

Don’t mind crushing my dreams. I’ve always wanted to flirt with an android.

My sister-in-law is hosting a gathering on our ship tonight. I don’t suppose you’d care to run away from whatever boring occasion you are stuck at, and join us instead?

How do you know I’m stuck anywhere?

You’re finally talking to me.

I can’t get away.

But you’re tempted, perhaps?

I refuse to admit anything. Go back to your party guests, Milord. Find someone to flirt with in person. I hear that practise makes perfect.

If I do, will you be jealous?

Dana smiled to herself, and then typed in – Desperately.

There she was, then. Dana had successfully carried out a flirtation with Milord De Winter, under the wrong identity, and not face to face. It still counted as a win, right?

She had no idea whether this false correspondence would turn out to be remotely useful, but she had to hope it was a crack in Milord De Winter’s otherwise perfect armour.

Dana returned to the parlour where the party was going on, and caught sight of Kitty who waved apologetically to her from behind the world’s largest tray of hors d’oeuvres. Obviously she had been caught slacking and put to work.

“I’ve been neglecting you, Dana,” said a man behind her.

Dana’s body betrayed her with a hum of excitement in response to that voice. “Milord De Winter. You’re not neglecting me any more than the rest of us.” She smirked at him, thinking of his complaints to the imaginary Marquise. “On a scale of 1 to 10, exactly how much do you hate parties?”

He smiled at that, then rubbed slightly at his messy brown hair, looking just like the distracted political obsessive she had enjoyed speaking with on the train. “All the numbers,” he confessed.

She shouldn’t like him – shouldn’t enjoy this chance to make a connection with him all over again. He was the enemy. Wasn’t he? Dana was almost certain that he was the enemy. It really wasn’t fair for the enemy to be this adorable.

“You’re sharp,” he said, sounding surprised about it.

“I do my best. And I also – really hate parties,” she admitted.

“I’m sure Miss Alix Charlemagne simply adored parties.”

“Yes, but I didn’t convince as her for long, did I?” Dana said dryly.

There was interest in his eyes, though she wasn’t at all sure it was romantic interest. He kept looking at her like he wanted to see what was inside her brain, and it made her shiver in a not-entirely-good way.

“I’m not sure why I bother talking to you,” he said after a moment. “You’re far too young to have anything intelligent to say, and you don’t know anyone worthwhile.”

Dana blinked very slowly at him, and then smiled. “Must be my natural charm. Or you have a thing for sarcastic people.”

That made him laugh. It was a strangely bitter sound, his laugh. “Do you want to come to dinner with me one night soon?” he asked.

“Sooner rather than later,” she said. “I’m not sure when we’re shipping out, but it won’t be long.”

He raised his eyebrows. “The Siege of Truth?”

“I presume so, but I’m just driving the truck so I’ll probably be the last to know.” Dana pinched her lips together. “Why do you want us to have dinner? If it’s just to insult me some more, I already have friends who can do that.”

Milord gave her a wicked smile which didn’t fit his usual baffled political expert persona at all. “I want to make someone else jealous.”

Dana glared at him. “That is so unflattering I can’t even tell you.” Was he messing with her now? The sudden thought that he might want to make the Marquise jealous burst into her head and it was all she could do not to crack up laughing. “Yes, fine. I have no shame when it comes to someone else buying dinner.”

“Excellent,” Milord said, and leaned in to kiss her lightly on the cheek. “This is going to be interesting,” he promised.

This close to her, his presence was overwhelming, and how embarrassing was it that she was this attracted to someone who had probably kidnapped the man she kissed on a semi-regular basis?

The sooner Dana was sent off to war, the better. She shouldn’t be allowed out in public on her own.

You have been reading Musketeer Space, by Tansy Rayner Roberts. Tune in next week for another chapter! Please comment, share and link. Musketeer Space is free to read, but if you’d like to support the project for as little as $1 per month, please visit my Patreon page. Pledges can earn rewards such as ebooks, extra content, dedications and the naming of spaceships. Milestones already unlocked include the Musketeer Media Monday posts, the Robotech Rewatch posts, and “Seven Days of Joyeux,” a special Christmas prequel novella which was released in December 2015. My next funding milestone ($300 a month) will unlock GORGEOUS COVER ART.

ROBOTECH REWATCH 34: Death By Ditzy Teenager

Robotech will be rewatched after these messages!

Don’t do this at home, kids. Taking unapproved road trips while working for the military may be hazardous to your health.

EPISODE 38 – False Start

It starts with gossip in the break room – Tactical Armoured Squadron 15’s Commander Sean Phillips has been put in solitary confinement for making a pass at a superior officer and they all have their doubts about his replacement: newly minted, baby-faced Second Lieutenant Dana Sterling who also happens to be the only girl in the squadron.

Dana is delighted with her new command (she pronounces them cute but dull) and decides to take everyone out on a recon patrol as a drill, despite the reservations of Corporal Angelo Dante.

Last episode’s attack on Moon Base Luna, it turns out, was by a group of aliens calling themselves the Robotech Masters, and everyone is supposed to be on high alert. Dana dismisses the concerns of ‘Angie’ and challenges him by suggesting he is uncomfortable taking orders from a woman.

(No, Dana, he’s uncomfortable taking orders from a maniac)

After a long joyride, Dana leads the 15th to a base where Lieutenant Marie Crystal is in command, and requests some lemonade for their dry throats. Crystal is entirely unimpressed with Dana’s antics, and their respective squads get into a rumble. In desperate trouble after knocking over a police robot, Dana goes on the run on her hover bike.

Nova Satori of the Military Police – totally not Dana’s mum even if you squint.

The MPs, led by the blue-haired Nova Satori, finds Dana on the street and drags her off to prison. So not a great start for the daughter of the legendary Robotech heroes.

And yes, on my first viewing I totally convinced myself, based largely on the hair colour and position of authority, that this was actually Miriya, Dana’s mother. Don’t ask me why, except that I was obviously REALLY hoping to see Miriya and figure out where she fit into this brave new post-apocalyptic world.

Even in the brig, Dana doesn’t take the situation entirely seriously, asking for a shower, clean clothes and possibly a manicure.

After being thoroughly lectured, she begs for a second chance, knowing that her squad may be needed to deal with the current threat of the Robotech Masters. She is finally let out on a week’s probation, which seems pretty mild – and on her way out, she passes Sean, who is equally unfazed by his own incarceration. He’s due out in another day or so.

The 15th are miserable that there’s finally a proper battle going on and they’re missing out because both their officers are in jail. Bowie even asks why the obviously competent Corporal Dante can’t take them out, but Dante defends the chain of command. We also meet Louis, the science geek, who claims to be ‘too busy’ to die in battle today.

To their surprise, Dana turns up and leads them out.

‘Dying under the command of a ditzy teenager isn’t the way I wanted to go out’

Angelo Dante, already long-suffering. Oh, Angie, it’s never gonna get any better for you.

Hover tank action, finally! The 15th (also known as the Eagles?) are ground support in their Robotech vehicles, and they fight to defend the Robotech supply line. Despite being under pressure (and only putting their helmets on at the last minute) they turn out to be very effective in the field.

Brigadier General Rolf Emerson, on reviewing the successful results of the day’s battle, is pleased to hear how well the 15th acquitted themselves and seems to be particularly fond of Dana. (cough, I already spoilered the whole foster daughter thing last episode, sorry about that)

Nova Satori brings Sean to the 15th’s break room and he is his usual, nonchalant self, all mouth and bravado. To everyone’s shock, including his own, Satori announces that their former commander has been busted to Private.

Dana is alarmed at this sign of ruthlessness and prepares to accept her own punishment – only to hear she herself has been promoted and will be leading the 15th on a permanent basis.

She promptly uses this as an excuse to hassle Sean, which seems fair enough, really.

In case anyone was worrying that we weren’t going to get an unexpected nude shot of a lady showering this season, fear not! We are promptly shown a full frontal of Dana, and there’s even a plot excuse for it – more than Minmei’s infamous ‘leaky pipe’ shower, anyway. While showering and having the camera pan lasciviously over her animated curves, Dana has a hallucination of alien Robotech ships, and it’s not the first time – but what does it mean?

[bet you half a dollar if we get another clip show, this shower scene will be repeated, and repeated, and repeated...]

I find it fascinating that after the Macross saga, which was pretty much about the romanticisation of competence and excellence in the field, even from the youngest protagonists (okay, apart from that one time the entire fleet stopped paying attention to the war because the Miss Macross pageant was on TV, and that other time Lisa totally shot Rick out of the sky because she was daydreaming and, um, never mind), the Southern Cross is all about chaos and teenage hormones.

Sean and Dana between them represent pretty much the worst features you would want in commanders – both have a very casual approach to responsibility. I thought I was going to have to hold back quite a bit of feminist outrage when I got to this part of the story, because a good part of it is about how the one girl in the squadron acts like a brainless schoolgirl most of the time.

But. But.

As Angelo says, Dana is totally a ditzy teenager. But when it comes down to it, despite all her dramas and impulsive mistake stuff ups, she is also shown to be really good at her actual job in the field, right off the bat – that is, really good at leading a squad of fellow teens in Hovertanks to fight tactically and defensively against aliens with way more battle experience.

It certainly helps me feel better about the fact that our female protagonist is being shown up for her flighty ways to have Dana balanced out by her predecessor Sean, who is WAY WORSE than her.

This show was made in the 80’s so there’s a lot of casual minimising of Sean’s behaviour, with characters eye-rolling about him as a ‘teen Romeo’ who can’t keep it in his pants, but looking at the story with a modern eye, this is about how the commander of a squadron is hauled up for sexual harassment, and not only demoted really dramatically, but put straight back into his own squadron with a female commander.

INTERESTING move, Robotech.

It does feel bizarrely progressive that we have three female officers front and centre in this story: Dana, Marie and Nova, each with their own arenas of expertise (Tactical Armoured Corps, Tactical Space Corps, Military Police), but each of them are entirely surrounded by teams of men. It’s like the show loved the idea of having women in charge, but didn’t think at all about having any of the random troops be female too.

It’s a little unfortunate that Dana is so far shown as in conflict with Marie and Nova – no female friends for her! Thanks to Dana being the protagonist, however, her various face offs with the other women in command to at least allow the episode to pass the Bechdel test with flying colours.

This weekly rewatch of classic animated space opera Robotech is brought to you as bonus content for the Musketeer Space project.

Thanks to everyone who has linked, commented, and especially to my paid patrons.

You can support Musketeer Space at Patreon.

Friday Links is Going Retro

Since Christmas we’ve been embracing the joys of the 1966 Batman series, with its stately Wayne Manor and Bruce’s obsession with Dick’s education, and Aunt Harriet sneaking off to find out nightclub trends, and DID YOU KNOW THAT LIBERACE WAS A BATMAN VILLAIN?

Ahem. It’s been pretty awesome. I’ve also introduced Raeli to the Batman ’66 digital comic, which she has delighted in, at least partly because it has given her a taste of some of the later seasons’ treats we are yet to reach in our viewing, like Eartha Kitt as Catwoman and Batgirl on her purple motorbike. The comic captures the camp, family-friendly tone of the TV series perfectly, with retro fashions and a whole lot of fun.

Given my ongoing quest to find comics suitable for an advanced reading but occasionally sensitive pre-teen girl to read, I was delighted to hear the news that after the success of Batman ’66, the next digital comic to be launched will be Wonder Woman ’77, based on the Lynda Carter TV show. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the most interesting and innovative DC Comics material right now is happening in their digital comics.

OTHER LINKS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK:

Paste Magazine on why 2014 was the Year of the Female Comic Fan.

There’s a new issue of Uncanny Magazine out, with an interesting article from Jim C Hines on “The Politics of Comfort” as well as a great mix of fiction and non-fiction.

I always enjoy finding thoughtful, feminist critique of the Moffat era of Doctor Who that doesn’t automatically dismiss his narrative choices for female companions as terrible/sexist etc. – so I was delighted to read this essay which offers a different theory about what we can take from Amy and Clara being named “the girl who waited” and “the impossible girl.”

Justine Larbalestier on Sexism and Awards (in YA fiction).

Sharp and incisive piece from Stephanie at No Award on Issues of Appropriation and Racism in Melbourne’s Restaurants

The Aurealis Awards have broken with tradition to reveal the nominees for the Convenor’s Award, to remind people of what kinds of projects are actually eligible for it. (Galactic Suburbia were hugely honoured to receive the award a few years ago) YAY FOR NIGHT TERRACE.

How to Read the Young Avengers

So I embarked on a recent quest to go through the proper reading order of the Young Avengers, in preparation for reading the recent (and now-complete) Marvel Now reboot of the series.

Unlike a lot of characters in the Marvel Universe, the Young Avengers only came into being about 9 years ago, so it’s actually possible to follow them through in a mostly-completionist fashion – and totally worth it!

BEFORE YOU START

It’s worth getting hold of two trade paperbacks: Avengers Disassembled, and House of M. (they’re easy to get hold of because they were major releases – my local library has them both) While not being comprehensive introductions to some of the baggage that our sweeties will have to deal with, they cover the most important parts and will answer a lot of questions that might come to mind while reading Young Avengers. If you make it to The Children’s Crusade, you’ll thank me for this. Also, getting caught up on some of the backstory surrounding Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch will be fun preparation for this year’s upcoming Avengers movie: Age of Ultron, which introduces both characters to the Marvel universe.

In Avengers Disassembled, the Avengers suffer the worst bad day in the history of the super team: an attack on and destruction of the Avengers Mansion, the deaths of several teammates including Ant-Man, the Vision and Hawkeye, and the revelation that something deeply terrible has happened to the Scarlet Witch and her powers.

In House of M, the Avengers and X-Men gather to decide the fate of their terrifyingly dangerous former teammate, the Scarlet Witch – who defends herself by changing reality to a world where all of their deepest wishes have come true. Wolverine remembers his entire past, Spider-Man is married to Gwen Stacy, and oh yes – Magneto’s family rule the world. Magic and mutation is commonplace, and non-mutants are an oppressed minority.

I avoided House of M for a long time because I’d heard a lot of criticism of this storyline from a feminist point of view – and yes a lot of the plot revolves around the Scarlet Witch being crazy and her powers going haywire because of issues to do with her imaginary children. But… it’s also a brilliant, self-contained book with some amazing characterisation of lots of interesting people in the Marvel universe, and presents a deeply nuanced portrayal of the Scarlet Witch herself who, despite all her problems, has it together far more effectively than her father or brother.

Without spoiling anything, I have to say – the Scarlet Witch’s crazy is only part of the puzzle, and that’s important because she’s going to be a poster child for superpowered scapegoats in the years to come.

NOW YOU’RE READY…

…to delve into the Young Avengers.

As I discussed in Galactic Suburbia episodes 111 & 112, the Young Avengers start out in their own miniseries in two trade editions: 1 – Sidekicks and 2 – Family Matters.

These comics introduce the original team as they come together in the aftermath of Avengers Disassembled and House of M. While the kids set themselves up as reflections of the original Avengers, their origins are often more complicated than that. Billy Kaplan, for instance, uses magic and calls himself ‘Asgardian’ at first, but his connection to the Avengers is actually through the Scarlet Witch. Likewise, Teddy Altman is green and strong and calls himself Hulkling, but he’s actually the alien son of Captain Marvel and a Skrull princess.

Eli Bradley (Patriot) is the grandson of Isaiah Bradley, a black super-soldier who was treated as a Captain America experiment by the government, but was kicked out in favour of Steve Rogers. Eli deliberately bases his costume on that of Bucky Barnes rather than Captain America himself.

All three Avengers who died in Avengers Disassembled are represented in this new team of teenagers: Kate Bishop takes on the name Hawkeye after filching all kinds of weapons from the damaged Avengers Mansion, Cassie Lang “Stature” is the daughter of Ant-Man, and a new version of the Vision is created in the process of their adventures.

This original run of the series is mostly about the kids coming into their own as heroes, dealing with legacy issues from their mentors and families, and battling the grownup superheroes for the right to use the name ‘Avengers’. Big character moments include the death of Teddy’s foster mother, the revelation of the story behind Eli’s super-soldier powers, and the Scarlet Witch’s twin boys Billy and Tommy meeting each other for the first time.

Yes, her imaginary twin boys. But here they are, in the flesh.

CIVIL WAR

This is a huge, sprawling series based on the idea that all the superheroes go to war with each other ever the issue of whether they should all register their powers/identities to the public. I wouldn’t recommend all of it, and while there are a few Young Avengers references and appearances throughout (some of which are later revealed to be fake), the bulk of their story is in the Civil War: Young Avengers/Runaways trade.

If you haven’t read Runaways (or like me, you had read the original Brian K Vaughn series but weren’t up to date on later developments) then that side of things can be a bit confusing. Basically, the Runaways are a bunch of super powered teens who ran away from home because their parents were all evil. There are lots of them. At this time, they are grieving the recent death of one of their close friends and teammates (which I’m still mad about, which is why I won’t read the rest of Runaways). Also, they have a magic dinosaur.

The combination of the two junior teams is a great idea, even if you don’t have any idea who these kids are, because these teens have always been good at poking holes at the ridiculous and destructive life choices of their elders, and that pretty much sums up the Civil War event.

YOUNG AVENGERS PRESENTS

This is a gorgeous mini-series with a single issue for each character, pairing them with an older Avenger of one kind or another and mostly talking through an issue of deep emotional importance. More comics should do this! I discussed these comics in Galactic Suburbia 112.

While the previous appearances of the team weren’t especially subtle about the romantic connection between Hulkling and Wiccan (formerly Asgardian), the Teddy-Billy relationship is explicitly stated here as boyfriends. They’re kind of adorable.

One of my favourite issues of this series are the Patriot one, in which Eli Bradley and Bucky Barnes bond over the recent death of Captain America and the conflicted feelings they both have about patriotism, racial issues, and loving/fighting for a country that has at times done terrible things.

I also really love the Hawkeye issue which was my first introduction to Kate Bishop. Clint Barton, the original Hawkeye, is no longer dead and now goes by the name of Ronin. He challenges Kate to a shoot-off for the name and for his bow (both of which were bestowed upon her by the now dead Captain America during Hawkeye’s own ‘dead’ period, can I tell you how much I love that Marvel writers always acknowledge the ridiculousness of this trope?).

This is the start of one of my favourite relationships in the Marvel comicsverse, the platomance between both Hawkeyes despite the fact that they have nothing in common other than arrows. (most recently this friendship was portrayed gorgeously in the Hawkeye Vs Deadpool mini-series which I want everyone to read because it’s funny and brilliant)

Stature gets lots of attention in this particular series, featuring in the Vision issue as well as her own, while new brothers Billy and Tommy set out on the first quest of many to find out WTF happened with their mystical “birth” mother, the Scarlet Witch. (she’s not actually their birth mother, because they are the reincarnated souls of her imaginary children, I think, but the whole thing plays out as a ‘foster kids hunt the birth mom’ storyline. The at times uncomfortable relationship between the brothers who barely know each other but are trying to be good family is shown to good effect here.

Hulkling (Teddy) taking the opportunity of a brief window of Captain Marvel being alive again to do the whole ‘you are my father’ rooftop deep and meaningful conversation is pretty awesome too. I love that this is a whole run of one-shots mostly made up of difficult conversations and character growth.

SECRET INVASION: Runaways/Young Avengers

The teen teams are back together again in another mini-series!

A few things have changed for the Runaways since the last team up – they have another kid along for the ride, and Karolina’s Skrull girlfriend is female again (honestly, don’t ask). The main difference between this and all the other Young Avengers appearances is the artwork, which is all soft-focus manga adorableness instead of more standard superhero sharp lines and bright colours.

The only real problem artwise is that Victor and Xavin are drawn as really similar, and I keep getting confused by Nico’s brown hair instead of black. So it’s a bit tricky to remember who is who at times.

It’s a cute story, with the main Young Avengers focus being on Hulkling and his refusal to take up his destiny among the two alien races he descends from – I haven’t read the rest of the Secret Invasion storyline and apart from ‘hey look the Skrulls are invading’ I don’t think you need to, as it’s pretty clear what’s going on in the larger arc.

DARK REIGN: Young Avengers

Again, I was reading this one out of the larger event context which was only problematic in that when Iron Man, Hawkeye and a bunch of other Avengers turned up and started being mean to the kids, I had no idea that it was actually a bunch of evil impostors (Norman Osborne as Iron Patriot, Barney Barton as Hawkeye etc). So that would have been handy to know. Funnily enough, I wasn’t shocked by Iron Man being a dick to the kids, but Hawkeye pretending not to know Hawkeye was just weird.

Otherwise this works as a self contained mini-series/trade with more characterisation. A new bunch of teen vigilantes brand themselves as the Young Avengers and take to the streets, leading our Young Avengers to chase them down and tell them off for appropriating the name.

Yes, they’re aware of the irony that this is exactly what the grownup Avengers did when they declared themselves Young Avengers in the first place. But still.

It’s a funny, dark story with the real meat being the backgrounds of the new Young Avengers, where they come from and what their motivations are. Coat of Arms, the thoughtful street artist who’s all about the superhero meta, is the character I’d most like to see turn up in all the other comics from now into eternity, because she’s smart and hilarious. Tommy agrees with me.

This run is exactly what the Young Avengers should be – sharp, snarky and providing a youthful commentary on the more standard superhero fare.

SIEGE: Young Avengers

A one-shot issue that ties in with yet another massive Marvel Event.

I read the Siege trade first, which explained most of what was going on – basically, this is the endgame of the whole ‘Norman Osborn takes over the Avengers’ storyline, including the return of Iron Man, the return of Steve Rogers as Captain America, and the return of Thor. The city of Asgard appears on Earth, all hell breaks loose, and Nick Fury drags together a bunch of superheroes no one has heard of, plus some old favourites, plus the Young Avengers.

Reading Siege has the added bonus of Maria Hill being awesome, which is makes any comic worthwhile for me. It’s a bit of a punch-up story, considering that it’s written by Bendis (who I can usually rely on for character and thoughtfulness plus hella dialogue) but the side stories make it interesting enough.

The Siege trade is made up of the main event issues, which have a heavy punching to dialogue ratio, but there’s also a trade called Siege: Battlefield which collects a bunch of interesting Siege-related one-shot issues exploring the final battle in more depth, not only with the Young Avengers but also Captain America, Spider-Man, Loki, etc.

I highly recommend the Captain America issue if you’re doing the whole Siege thing properly because it explains some of the resolution, as does the Loki issue. The Spider-Man issue is just him and Ms Marvel kicking ass and bantering which is lovely but not overly plot-relevant. The Young Avengers issue contains some great material for Hawkeye, Patriot, Wiccan and Hulkling, and really gets under the skin of Speed (Tommy) who has always been a bit on the edge of the heroic action in the past.

You don’t NEED to read it for Young Avengers continuity, but while I didn’t love much about Siege, the Young Avengers issue on its own is really good.

AVENGERS: The Children’s Crusade

This is where all this reading and pre-reading of Young Avengers stories pays off! I don’t know how well this story arc/trade works without all the foreknowledge of Billy and Tommy’s story, and the Scarlet Witch, but for me it worked as a (mostly) brilliant climax to the entire Young Avengers story so far.

It also provides something a lot like closure to the events of Avengers Disassembled and The House of M. So there’s that.

Most of the best Young Avengers storylines have been about conflict between what the teen heroes want for themselves, and what the adult, established superheroes want for them. The central conflict in this particular storyline is dialled up to 11, because the Young Avengers are supporting Billy in his quest to find and understand the Scarlet Witch, and the adult Avengers and X-Men all have so many complicated feelings about Wanda and what she did that their antagonism towards (and patronisation of) the kids feels entirely natural.

It really doesn’t help that Magneto has turned up to bond with his grandkids, or that Billy’s powers are becoming more and more of a threat. As a reader and a parent I could totally see the point of the adults trying to stop the kids, even know I also know they are WRONG because I am on the Young Avengers’ side no matter what.

Iron Lad is back, with his ‘time travel is totally not going to make me a super villain if I use it just once more’ schtick, and Cassie has to confront the fact that her relationship with teen!Vision is largely based on him having a lot of the memories and personality of Iron Lad himself – talk about a teen love triangle!

Messing around with time makes matters more complicated for everyone, especially when some of the kids manage to accidentally reverse the last un-reversed fatality of Avengers Disassembled: Scott Lang, Cassie’s dad. There are huge character-defining moments for the whole House of M family including Magneto, Quicksilver, Wanda, Billy and Tommy.

Kate Bishop’s Hawkeye is awesome as ever, even when the story isn’t about her.

By the end, the Young Avengers are healed and damaged in equal measure: two members dead/destroyed, one quit after making a disastrous field call he can’t forgive himself for, and one well on the way to becoming a super villain… maybe?

Oh and after many, MANY years of committed teen monogamy, we finally get an on-panel kiss between Wiccan and Hulkling. Six years late, but you take what you can get.

I’m not entirely happy about some of the resolutions of this story – but it is narratively satisfying and feels like it has addressed and resolved a lot of story threads that have been hanging over the team for some time.

I also really appreciate that the resolution included a time shift and showed the characters reacting to the emotional fallout over months instead of being all peppy and positive the second the adventure is over.

*Bakes cookies for the Young Avengers*

MY YOUNG AVENGERS ESSENTIAL READING LIST:

Avengers Disassembled (2004-2005)

House of M (2005)

Young Avengers 1: Sidekicks (2005)

Young Avengers 2: Family Matters (2006)

Civil War: Young Avengers/Runaways (2006)

Young Avengers Presents (2008)

Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (2008)

Dark Reign: Young Avengers (2009)

Siege: Battlefield (containing Siege: Young Avengers one-shot) (2010)

Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2010)

Now I’m all caught up and ready to properly read the Kieron Gillen/Jamie McKelvie Young Avengers series, which concluded last year and is available in three trades:

YOUNG AVENGERS VOL. 2

1 – Style > Substance

2 – Alternative Culture

3 – Mic-drop at the Edge of Time and Space

Come join me when I review them later in the month!

Musketeer Space Part 34: The New Aristocrats

It’s Musketeer Day!

I put up a Musketeer Media Monday post this week, so if you’re interested in a melancholy Norwegian comic about an ageless (but not immortal) lonely Athos fighting aliens straight out of Edgar Rice Burroughs, check out my review of The Last Musketeer (2008) & Athos in America (2012).

In other news, the silent producer and myself just got to the end of our first ever viewing of all seven seasons of The West Wing and we have no real idea what to do with ourselves now. What did other people do when they got to the end of it?

Luckily for me I still have a large stack of Musketeer movies to get me through this trying time… oh, and a book to write.

Start reading Musketeer Space from Part 1

Missed the last installment? Track back to Part 33

Missed the festive Seven Days of Joyeux prequel? Read it now.

Main Page & Table of Contents

PREVIOUSLY ON MUSKETEER SPACE: Dana has been stalking Milord in the hopes of finding out if he was involved in the abduction of that boy she likes. His sister, the Countess of Clarick, got suspicious and brought some overly handsy friends to the party. Porthos has a thing with Chef Coquenard. Aramis and Tracy Dubois are on again, husbands bedamned. Oh and the solar system is at war, but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Today is all about snogging and duels. I’m not even sorry.

Duel, duel, duel, duel!

NOW READ ON.

This chapter is dedicated to new Patreon supporter Karen Hall. Thank you so much for your support!

Chapter 34: The New Aristocrats

Athos answered the door with a drink in his hand. His eyes went first to Dana’s knuckles, which were swollen and grazed. Without a word, he stepped back to allow her into the apartment.

She sat silently at his kitchen bar and poured herself a glass of brandy from the open bottle while Athos went to raid his usual collection of medical supplies.

“The service at Hotel Coquenard isn’t what it used to be,” he said, as he cleaned her sore hands carefully with a sonic wand.

Dana winced at his touch. “The fight happened after I left the hotel.”

His eyes sparkled with something like humour. “And how was dinner?”

“Excruciating. I am never again going to trust any of you to take me anywhere that requires a dress, or prior knowledge of Porthos’ love life.”

“Seems fair.”

Her right hand was tingling and sensitive as he slapped a medipatch across the back of it. “Ow.”

“Fists,” he muttered. “You had a Pilot’s Slice and a pearl stunner on your person, but you always go straight for the fists.”

“I’m good with my fists.”

“You’re good with a sword, or you would be if you let yourself.”

Dana gave him a wary look. “I am?” Mostly what she heard from Athos about her developing sword skills were the many ways in which she could improve.

“You are a promising pupil,” he admitted after a long moment.

Dana felt warm all over. “You’ve never said that before.”

Athos rolled his eyes. “With a sword you can keep your opponent at a distance. Most wounds can be easily mended. But if you go into a brawl fists first, you have to be too damned close to get anything done. On top of that, you’re shorter than average and female which means if you do beat someone bigger than yourself, you’re likely to piss them off enough to want to hurt you seriously out of revenge. If you keep up this kind of mindless thuggery, one of these days that brain of yours will get so bruised you will never pilot another ship. And then what would we do with you?”

Dana stared at Athos. He looked embarrassed to have said so much all at once. She flung herself at him for a hug, and he bore it manfully for at least five seconds before shrugging her off.

“That’s enough of that.”

She had a stupid grin all over her face. “You’ll be pleased to know that I ended the fight by challenging them all to a duel.”

His eyebrow twitched. “All? Goodness, how many were there?”

“Four.”

“The perfect number.”

“I told them I had friends to even things up…” she added, almost shyly.

Athos leaned back, pleased now. “Make my day,” he purred. “Tell me they were Red Guards. I haven’t had a decent skirmish in weeks.”

“Oh, better than that,” she assured him. “Tourists.”

An odd light came into Athos’ eyes. “Tourists?”

“New Aristocrat tourists just off the boat from Valour.”

He hummed with delight. “Is it my birthday, D’Artagnan?”

“Yes, I thought you’d like that,” she smirked back at him. “The Luxembourg, 0600 hours.”

“Ah,” Athos said, pushing the bottle away from them both. “We’ll need an early start, then. Should we warn Aramis and Porthos now, or surprise them with it in the morning?”

Dana, who was not above a little petty revenge on her friends, pretended to think about it for a moment or so. “I like surprises,” she said finally. “Surprises are good.”

Neither Porthos nor Aramis were enthusiastic about being dragged out of bed early enough to make it to the Luxembourg for a 0600 duel. Porthos, at least, got into the spirit once she arrived, doing warm-up stretches and lunges.

Aramis was far less amenable. “I only got to bed two hours ago,” she said darkly, her hands wrapped around her second cup of coffee of the morning.

“Poetry again?” Athos said unsympathetically. “It’s bad for your health, you know.” He turned to Porthos. “And how was your siege of Chef Coquenard last night?”

“Mixed results,” Porthos said, turning her practice lunges in his direction in order to pretend she actually was about to pierce him through the heart.

“Ha!” Aramis said skeptically. “‘Mixed results,’ she says, as if she didn’t take him home with her.”

“He wasn’t there when I woke up, though,” Porthos shot at her. “He chose bread-baking and sous prep over me. So mixed results. At least mine doesn’t require that I write poetry to her.”

“You have no romance in your soul.”

“I’m just not sure why you’re courting Dubois all over again when she’s the one who broke it off last time – shouldn’t she be writing poetry to make it up to you?”

“Maybe she is,” Aramis smirked. “But I can write better poetry than she can.”

“So basically you’re trying to win.”

“It passes the time.”

“Will you all shut up about your love lives?” Dana shouted, sick of them all.

Athos gave her an amused look. “That’s usually my line.”

“Yes, darling,” said Aramis. “We all know D’Artagnan is your favourite. Now will you shut up and let me finish this stanza before our playmates arrive?”

The New Aristocrats were late to the duel, almost certainly so as to make a swaggering entrance. Porthos matched their challenging stares with her own as did Dana, while Aramis perched on the nearby Artifice rocks, scribbling notes in her poetry book. Athos stayed back, watching the duellists approach through eyes that looked heavily-lidded and bored, though Dana knew better.

She thought she saw his shoulders relax a little, as he took in each of their faces. Perhaps he had been worried that one or more of them might be known to him from his own New Aristocrat days on Valour?

The tourists were dressed in formal fencing attire, each of the four wearing the flag of Valour somewhere on their person. Athos rolled his eyes so hard they nearly rattled.

Bee De Winter, the Countess of Clarick wore grey and white, which matched her chilly expression. Even she looked embarrassed when her large friend, who named himself the Earl of Doncaster, pronounced the Artifice field appropriate for an ‘authentic Parisian duel.’

“Sightseers,” Aramis sighed, with a small shake of her head.

“They should put us in the guide book,” Porthos said cheerfully. “Can I have the big one? He looks fun. I bet he makes a loud noise when he hits the ground.”

“A little housekeeping, before we begin,” said Athos, whose own New Aristocrat accent was particularly pronounced this morning. That meant, Dana had learned from experience, that he especially hated everyone today, and the strangers most of all. He held out a tablet. “Your signatures, if you please.”

Bee’s eyebrows almost hit her perfectly coiffed hairline. “A contract for an illegal duel? That sounds like the definition of a really bad idea.”

“As you say, illegal,” said Athos. “And extremely dangerous. Amateurs -” and he let a beautiful sneer curl around the word “-have been known to get themselves hurt in bouts such as the one you proposed to my young friend D’Artagnan. By putting our names to the release, we free each other from liability should any of us be wounded.”

Dana stepped closer to Porthos. “Why have I never heard of these releases before?”

“We don’t bother against the Red Guard,” Porthos whispered back. “They’re bastards all, but they’re honourable duellists. Dirtsiders, though, and tourists, you can’t trust them as far as you can throw them. We’ve lost good Musketeers to the service because some arsehole decided to sue over a scratched finger or a severed artery.”

“Which is all the more despicable, because duels between peers aren’t even illegal on Valour,” Aramis added, also in a low voice. She had laid her notebook and stylus aside, and now stood shoulder to shoulder with Porthos.

Athos collected the thumbprints and assent of Lady Moire of Normandie and the Earl of Doncaster, as well as Bianca, Countess of Clarick. The last of their party, however, took one look at the tablet and scoffed. “Who the hell are you four anyway? These aren’t real names. Most of you haven’t put down more than one. What does ‘Aramis’ or ‘Porthos’ even mean?

“Sheffield,” said Doncaster, rolling his eyes. “You’re ruining the duel for everyone. Stop being a prick and put your thumb on the tablet so we can get on with it.”

Sheffield – and Dana was starting to revisit the idea that he was friends with the other New Aristocrats, as they all looked thoroughly sick of him – thrust the tablet rudely back at Athos. “I am a gentleman and I have standards,” he said primly. “If you can’t put forward an opponent who is worthy of the name of Baron Sheffield, then I shall not participate.”

“I actually want to kill you right now,” said Bee between gritted teeth.

“If he’s not playing, I volunteer to sit out,” said Aramis quickly. “On account of this poem that I would really prefer to be working on…”

“No,” said Dana sharply. Would none of them take this seriously? But then she saw the looks that Aramis and Porthos were exchanging, and oh crap, she knew was that meant. It meant Athos was about to do something stupid and take the rest of them down with him. She lunged forward to grab the tablet back herself, but it was too late.

Athos stepped right up into Sheffield’s personal space, crowding him with a dangerous smile. “I have another name,” he said, making his accent very, very pronounced. Posh practically oozed from his veins. “I think you might find it worthy of you, second son of a Baron that you are. Not quite in line for the title, not with all those pesky nieces and nephews your older sister keeps popping out, but I see why you feel the need to flash it around since you’re far from home with hardly anyone to call you on your deception.”

Sheffield looked at him, confused and angry but not moving away. “I say -”

“Let’s play a game,” said Athos, with an utterly false smile. “I’ll tell you my name, my real name, and you can decide if I’m worthy of crossing swords with you.”

“Athos,” warned Aramis.

“But if I tell you,” Athos continued. “You understand, it’s not something I want known in general circles, since I am believed by most to be dead. So I’m going to do my damnedest to kill you in this duel. How does that sound?”

“It sounds bloody stupid,” said Bee with a huff.

Dana nodded at her, silently agreeing that boys were stupid. Why couldn’t they just fight and get it over with? They could all be having breakfast by now.

Sheffield, however, had a fierce light in his eyes. His chin lifted, as he examined Athos from top to toe. It was quite obvious that he loved the idea of knowing something that should not be known, and courting death at the hands of a Musketeer. “Tell me,” he breathed.

Athos leaned in, his beard grazing the other man’s ear, and whispered for a moment. “Does that suffice?” he said finally, rocking back on his heels.

Sheffield was flushed across the top of his cheeks, and he looked as if he had been hit over the head. “Oh yes,” he said, stumbling over the words. “Perfectly acceptable.”

“I’d like to make it clear that I don’t give a fuck who I fight as long as it happens sometime this century!” said Doncaster loudly.

“Begin, then,” said Athos with a small smile on his face as if he was very much planning to enjoy this duel. “En garde.”

Fencing Bee was no chore. It was enough to make Dana wish they had got in a few fencing bouts on that train back on Valour, instead of gossiping about clothes and boys. Bee was a competent, measured duellist, and the anger of their previous night’s encounter had bled out of both of them by the time they saluted each other, and began.

Dana won the first bout, with a scratch to the side of Bee’s neck, and a ribbon reclaimed from her hair. Bee won the second, slicing a button from Dana’s sleeve, which was going to be annoying to hunt for in the Artifice grass.

“I could say I’m sorry I lied to you and your brother, and we could call it a draw,” Dana offered.

Bee gave her a confused look. “After all this?”

Dana shrugged one shoulder. “Well, Doncaster got his duel, at least. We Parisians do like the tourists to come away with the full experience.”

They sat on the grass together for a little while, watching the others fight. Aramis worked quickly, her mind obviously on that bloody poem of hers instead of the fight, and she finished off her second bout with Lady Moire with the same breathtaking efficiency she had used for the first; having won both, Aramis retired from the field and picked up her stylus again, though not before kissing Moire’s hand and (Dana could not help but notice) collecting her comm number for later reference.

Doncaster and Porthos were having entirely too much fun. He had the reach on her, being much taller and wider, but she had pulled out all her favourite fancy tricks and he matched them with some of his own. The two of them were actually smirking at each other every time they added a different sword flourish or piece of fancy footwork. It was possible they could be at this for hours.

Then there was Athos and Sheffield, an entirely different kind of duel. Athos fenced with as much calm and method as if he were teaching a class – indeed, he exhibited far more in the way of cool restraint than he ever had when training Dana.

Sheffield was sweating, despite the carefully regulated temperature of the field, and it was clear that he could see his own death spelled out with every stroke of Athos’ sword.

“Is he actually going to kill him?” Bee asked, only sounding slightly interested in the outcome.

“He said he would,” said Dana. She shivered a little, looking at the blank expression that Athos wore. It was nothing like the usual fierce energy he displayed when fighting with the Red Guard. He did not taunt his opponent, and he certainly did not seem to be enjoying himself.

This was work, not play.

“Tell me why you have been following us,” said Bee, as they sat and watched Athos school the other man on fencing technique. What exactly is your interest in Vaniel? I was in the hotel,” she added, almost conversationally. “It might have been a coincidence that you were there – that’s not out of the realms of possibility. But you were definitely watching him – and I saw you follow the Marquise de Wardes. Don’t lie to me again. You’re up to something.”

It was not her skill with a sword that made this woman dangerous, Dana had to remind herself. It was that she was with Milord, and he had Conrad’s life in his hands.

The answer came to her, and it wasn’t What Would Athos Do? or What Would Porthos Do? A little of Aramis, perhaps. But it had more than a little of Alix Charlemagne, whom Dana was learning from more and more all the time.

“It’s embarrassing,” Dana said, deliberately biting her lip because she knew it made her look younger and less threatening. “But it’s not a professional interest. I met you for the first time when I was working under another name, and I’m sorry about that, because it’s ruined everything, but -” and then she gave Bee a helpless sort of look.

For once, Dana was not going to try to punch her way out of a problem. She was going to be smart about it.

Bee looked doubtful. “You’re not…”

Dana summoned up all those odd feelings she had touched upon in the train, when she realised that Vaniel was someone whose company she enjoyed. “I was watching him in the restaurant because I like him,” she sighed. “That’s it, no mystery. You can laugh at me now.”

And Bee did laugh, a delightful sound ringing out across the Artifice meadow. “Oh no,” she gasped.

“I know nothing will come of it,” said Dana, avoiding Bee’s gaze for oh so many reasons, but she thought it sold the idea rather well. “I can’t help myself.”

“Does this mean I challenged you to a duel over his love life?” Bee laughed. “Oh, he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

Dana gave her a stricken look. “You mustn’t tell him.” The thought of Milord de Winter’s sister-in-law telling him that Dana D’Artagnan fancied him, even though that was the whole point of this little scene she was playing out, was genuinely excruciating. She didn’t have to fake her reaction at all.

“So you’d rather nurse your crush in secret and let him continue to throw himself uselessly at the Marquise de Wardes instead?” Bee challenged.

Dana sighed and her attention back to Athos, who had managed to slash both sleeves off his opponentHe drove him steadily closer and closer to the church, proving with every step that he was the stronger duellist.

“Vaniel would make a terrible boyfriend,” Bee continued. “Really, he talks about politics all the time, and his work is everything to him. I love him dearly, but he was a dreadful husband to my sister, as well.”

“You care about him, don’t you?” said Dana. It was a mystery to her that Bee – who for all her impulsive tendencies to violence, seemed like such a genuine and open person – was so convinced that Milord was worth caring about.

“He’s my family, and family stick together,” said Bee staunchly.

“I like hearing him talk about politics,” Dana confessed, and managed a small laugh that she hoped came across as girlish and romantic. She was very out of practice with this sort of thing. “But it doesn’t matter. I know he’d never be interested in me.”

“We’ll see,” said Bee in a thoughtful sort of voice. “Give me your comm number.”

“You’re going to help me?” Dana said in surprise.

“We’ll see,” Bee said again, more firmly this time.

Only after they had exchanged numbers did Dana look up, only to see Athos bearing his opponent roughly on to the grass, sword-first. “Oh, fuck, he has killed him,” she exclaimed, forgetting to be ‘Alix Charlemagne slightly embarrassed in love’ and running full pelt for the other Musketeers.

“Let’s get out of here!” Bee shouted roughly to her other friends and they fled the scene, skirting around the Luxembourg and away.

Sheffield lay on the grass with a sword in his chest and a horrified look on his face. He still gasped for air, but only just.

Aramis cast her notebook aside and approached the fallen man with a grim expression and a substantial medi-pack. “Athos, I hate when you do this.”

“I know,” said Athos, breathing hard from his duel. “But honestly, how could anyone be expected to spend time with a man like that and not put a sword in his chest?”

“One of these days I’d like you to invest in some anger management techniques that don’t involve collapsing someone’s lung,” Aramis said primly. “Porthos, lift!”

As Dana watched in amazement, Porthos reached over and yanked the sword out of Sheffield’s chest. He yelled out in pain and then flapped his mouth uselessly for air as blood soaked the fine linen of his fencing jacket.

Aramis pulled the jacket open and slapped a large medi-patch over the wound on Sheffield’s chest. He gasped two or three times, and then fell unconscious.

“The thing about a collapsed lung,” said Athos, sounding almost cheerful. “It’s traumatic enough that the healing process keeps them comatose for a day or so, and you can almost guarantee twenty to forty minutes of memory loss.”

Dana stared at him. “Twenty to – you mean he won’t remember the duel.”

“Or any words that might have been exchanged shortly before the duel. That’s right.” Athos smiled at her, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Anyone feel like breakfast?”

“I’m going to punch you now,” Dana informed him.

“Give me a minute to finish this off and I’ll hold him down for you,” volunteered Aramis. “Then you can all take this sad sack to a hospice and go have a victory breakfast somewhere, so I can be left alone to finish my fucking poem.”

You have been reading Musketeer Space, by Tansy Rayner Roberts. Tune in next week for another chapter! Please comment, share and link. Musketeer Space is free to read, but if you’d like to support the project for as little as $1 per month, please visit my Patreon page. Pledges can earn rewards such as ebooks, extra content, dedications and the naming of spaceships. Milestones already unlocked include the Musketeer Media Monday posts, the Robotech Rewatch posts, and a special Yuletide prequel story to be released in December. My next funding milestone ($300 a month) will unlock ART.

Issue #1 – S.H.I.E.L.D. (2014)

Title: S.H.I.E.L.D. #1

Writer: Mark Waid

Artist: Carlos Pacheco (though the title will apparently feature a rotating team of artists)

The Buzz: I’m not saying there hasn’t been any buzz for this one, but I hadn’t heard any – then again, I haven’t been paying attention to the blogs and things lately. All I saw was the ‘pre-order’ page floating around Comixology, and that was enough for me. Because COULSON LIVES. It didn’t hurt that this was the only new Marvel comic that released on New Year’s Eve. The promo material for the comic (which I only found belatedly) had this to say:

Writer Mark Waid (DAREDEVIL) and a rotating crew of mission-specific top flight Marvel artists make you one promise: Every issue: Twenty pages. One mission. Unlimited budget. Unlimited imagination. Six periods. And a helper monkey. Welcome to Level Eight. Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.

All You Need To Know: This is sort of a tie-in to the Agents of SHIELD TV series, only totally not. It shares many of the characters with Season 1 of the show – notably Agent Coulson, the cool-headed pilot and asskicking specialist Melinda May AKA “the Cavalry”, and adorkable science duo Fitz and Simmons – but it’ss clearly part of the 616 (default) Marvel Universe rather than the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so stands completely alone from the show. You don’t need to have seen even ten minutes of Agents of SHIELD to get this comic because it’s a well-crafted Issue 1 that isn’t afraid of explaining stuff to newbies.

Story: The main focus is on fan-favourite Coulson, depicting a different but familiar path as he grows up obsessing about superheroes, then puts those skills into use as a SHIELD agent rising through the ranks. There’s lots of flashbacking and set up here, but it’s interesting stuff that centres him as the focal point of the team. Notably, it skips the part of Coulson’s backstory that has previously been shown in the 616 universe, ie. his history in the Rangers with Marcus Johnson/Nick Fury Jr, but doesn’t contradict it. This mission has a team made up of Coulson, May, Fitz and Simmons, plus a couple of “mysterious” sword-fighters go to rescue Heimdall of Asgard in the desert after an attack on the rainbow bridge. It’s a fun, peppy action-adventure story with an equal mix of male and female characters and plenty of banter. Totally my sort of thing.

Art: Flashy and vivid, though I have mixed feelings about some of the character art – most of the female faces look basically the same, and I really don’t think he’s managed to capture anything unique about Simmons – which isn’t helped by the odd page where she has red hair for no reason, leading me to think that Black Widow had unexpectedly joined the team (which, is not something you tease about because everything after that will be a disappointment). Fitz also looks remarkably generic at times, which is disappointing because it’s a rare opportunity to show a male physical type other than ‘built’ and ‘extra built’ in a main character.

The core team perfectly rendered.

Note: I didn’t know when first writing this up that the artists on this title will be rotating with each mission, which is fantastic and makes me even more excited to continue with it – here’s hoping that the other artists have more of a bead on FitzSimmons. The cute extras in the comic like the character profiles and the special Fitz & monkey strip at the end suggest that there’s going to be some wildly different interpretations of the science kids. My favourite version of them so far is (surprise surprise) the Skottie Young cover variant. If Skottie Young came in to pencil Fitz for all of SHIELD’s artists I would be a happy woman.

But What Did I Miss?: NOTHING, this is a perfect Issue 1. It isn’t reliant on your knowledge of earlier stories or events, it’s introducing you gradually to the team and they actually go on a mission instead of standing around talking about things that previously happened to them. (No I wasn’t burned by Mighty Avengers at all). A title with appeal to Marvel viewers that actually might be aimed at new and casual comics readers. SHOCK.

Would Read Issue 2?: Yep, absolutely. (a bunch of Agents of SHIELD geekery to follow, please ignore if you don’t care about the show) A lot of the promo material including variant covers teases the exciting possibilities of including Marvel 616 characters who are unlikely to get to play with Coulson and the gang in the TV show, like Deadpool, the X-Men, etc. but my main interest is in the reimaginings (or established 616 Marvel versions) of the characters I know from the show. I’ll be especially fascinated to see if they bring in Daisy Johnson considering recent plot twists, hehehe. I would love to see Mack and Trip included because both characters have so many interesting layers to them, and also to see Black Widow, Hawkeye and Mockingbird appear, hopefully with some official acknowledgement of Lance Hunter rather than simply swapping Clint in for him. (no reason Bobbi can’t have two deadbeat ex husbands!) But I’d also be happy to simply sit back and enjoy Melinda May being amazing, and some un-traumatised Fitz and Simmons in new settings. WARD IS NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY.

PREVIOUS ISSUE #1 POSTS

Thor #1 (2014)

Spider-Woman #1 (2014)

All-New Captain America #1 (2014)

Captain America & the Mighty Avengers #1 (2014)