A.E. Shaw's Blog, page 5

April 30, 2013

Short Story: Unassigned Rabbit

What’s that? More unedited random short stories, I heard nobody cry? Well you just hold onto your bonnets, people, for I have another one for you right now! Yeah…here it is!



Unassigned Rabbit


by A E Shaw



“Eyes! I need some more eyes over here on seven!”


Felicity, the odd-job girl, drops the claws she’s sorting and grabs the dark wooden box to her left. Deftly, she flicks the golden catches, and assesses her stock.


“I’ve got armadillo, rabbit and albino crow this time – which would you like?”


“Three...

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Published on April 30, 2013 03:15

April 27, 2013

Top Five Lists of ALL THE THINGS

We needed to do something but didn’t want to move, so here’s this. Feel free to share your thoughts/attempted corrections!


Bored on Saturday things, Biscuits, Birdsong, Pencils, Queen songs, ’80s kids TV shoes, Buffy episodes, Divine Comedy comedy songs, Divine Comedy beautiful songs, Fictional Horses, Fictional Birds, Cabin Pressure episodes, Final Fantasy VII Characters, things we’re supposed to be doing, blond male vampires,



Top Five Things To Do When Bored on Saturday


1. Chase your partner/...

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Published on April 27, 2013 07:54

Short Story: Egg Pixie


It’s Saturday morning, so how about some nonsense? Written at lightspeed for fun about a year ago, unedited, precisely 1k of silliness.


___________


Egg Pixie


By A. E. Shaw



Thwack, crack, splosh. Thwack, crack splosh. Thwack…kerfuffle…scream.


Toby isn’t one much given to screaming. He has a beard, after all. Nonetheless, it’s the only way you could describe the high-pitched aaiiiiieeee that leaps from his mouth as he hops and skips back across the kitchen, retreating as fast as possible from the eg...

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Published on April 27, 2013 03:41

April 25, 2013

Short Story: The Snake of Destiny

Horacia’s 25th birthday feels like a grim reminder of everything that’s wrong with her life. But before the day is out, she’ll inherit a snake and a machine that will validate her completely.


**This was written under duress for a competition, part of which was the prompt ‘comedy/bank/time travel’. It finished ‘Highly Commended’, i.e. not-prize-winning. I’ve also had it critiqued up to here, so I’m okay with not having any more critique, if that’s okay with you ;) But here it is, bit of fun, appa...

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Published on April 25, 2013 04:28

April 24, 2013

Suarez: An Unnecessary Addition to the Onslaught

When I was five years old, I punched another five year old in the shoulder, because they bit my arm. Apparently that was not a good enough reason to punch someone, and I remember being most irritated that I was the one who got in trouble when I didn’t start it. This is definitely not the same issue, but I do remember, very strongly, how appalled and outraged I was at being bitten. That is sort of the same issue.


There are a billion articles about the entire thing; it’s nearly worrying how many...

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Published on April 24, 2013 10:42

“I’m Sorry You’re Upset” and other ways to patronise a colleague

I’m quite physical with my moods and feelings. I quite literally raise the temperature in a room by two degrees the moment I become irritated with the way a conversation is going. I don’t make unusual levels of effort to contain my facial expressions or moderate my body language, because, well, I’m busy thinking about the thing that’s provoking such a physical reaction, and I figure that it’s all part and parcel of human communication, seeing how someone feels about something, as much as disc...

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Published on April 24, 2013 03:31

April 23, 2013

A Q&A With Myself

Because I’ve just done the thing I always wanted to do, so I figured I’d talk to myself about it. I’m all of a quiver of excitement because, as I keep saying, having a Real Live Book is the only proper solid goal I’ve ever had in my entire life. I want to remember this day as slightly more than formatting fails and fear, so…yeah. Let me be self-indulgent and overshare.


- Doesn’t self-publishing feel like cheating in some way?


It feels a bit like I might not have published the same book as the o...

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Published on April 23, 2013 02:08

April 21, 2013

The Pulse: Of Castles and Diamonds, Oh My*

I published my book today. If you’d like to preview/read it, you can do so here: UK edition or here US edition. Also on most international sites via the search thing, ‘The Pulse A E Shaw’ ought to do it XD


Also I have a Goodreads thing, I obsessively catalogue my reading and like to find books in all the places, so having an author account is crazy exciting. Come, add me.


The #1 thing people asked me when I said I’d a book was, ‘What’s it about?’ And even after infinite attempts to answer this...

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Published on April 21, 2013 15:15

April 20, 2013

And there it is. All ready to upload. All of it. I genuin...

And there it is. All ready to upload. All of it. I genuinely believe this is the best I can do with this book. I am ready to get cracking on at least three other things. Just going to sit with it for a bit, and give it a last run through, and sit and be awed that I can make a Real Live Book in this world. It is the first ambition I ever had. So…this is exciting.



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Published on April 20, 2013 08:46

Of Meddle, Of Genuine Joy, Of Crushing Embarrassment

I’m 3/4 of the way through my final edit (although I know myself well enough that there will be at least two more edits before it’s done) and at last, 217 pages into my tale, I can see in my writing that I am having more fun than anyone ought to have with their own story. The point at which I fall massively in love with everything and everyone I’m writing about, for better or worse, is disturbingly clear to me. Perhaps that’s where the book should start, but if I hadn’t set out the everything...

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Published on April 20, 2013 03:05