Bryce Moore's Blog, page 70

Retro Star Wars Movie Review: Caravan of Courage

Look. Things were different when I was growing up. We didn’t have fancy things like a whole Star Wars universe. We had Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, and then we finally got Return of the Jedi too. (I was five when it came out.) There were rumors of some kind of Christmas special that had appeared at some point, but other than that, that was the extent of our Star Wars options. If we wanted lightsabers, we could use the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper. And we were happy, dagnabbit.

Later on, other things came out. Things like the Timothy Zahn sequel books to the movies. Prequels. All that jazz. Until we arrive to the present day, where Star Wars is a veritable force in the universe.

But if you’ll come with me back to when I was a kid, I can highlight another Star Wars movies that was a personal favorite. Caravan of Courage. It was all about some kids teaming up with Ewoks to take down a huge monster thing. There was magic. Action. Adventure. No romance. And Ewoks. As a kid, I thought it was great. We had a copy we’d taped off TV on VHS, and I watched it multiple times.

So imagine my excitement when Disney brought Caravan of Courage to Disney+. Finally I’d get a chance to relive the glory days, when anything Star Wars was better than nothing. I gathered the family around a couple of nights ago, and I gave them a disclaimer. I hadn’t seen the movie in decades. It might be terrible, but I remembered really liking it as a kid. They were game, so we watched the movie. (It’s under 90 minutes, which made it a pretty easy sell.)

So . . . how was it?

Well, MC liked it a lot, so it’s got a target audience that it still plays well with. But everyone else (including, sadly, me) saw that it left a whole lot to be desired. The acting is bad. The special effects are . . . not great, even by made-for-TV-in-the-80s standards. (A few times it was just all too clear the Ewoks were people dressed up in teddy bear costumes. Once you stop being able to view them as real creatures, it turns the whole thing into a comedy.) The pacing was glacial. The writing was really bad. (Though it did introduce a few Ewok terms back into my vocabulary. “Feech” and “Lurdo” being my two favorites.)

It still had a bit of the nostalgia factor going for me, but I was amazed at just how much of the movie I had forgotten. I think all I remembered of it was “kids and Ewoks teaming up against a monster.” And that definitely is what happens in the movie. But it’s all really episodic, with the kids constantly making really, really stupid decisions without any other justification than “kids do stupid things.” As a writer for children and young adults, that was perhaps the biggest let down. The kids weren’t really allowed to make any good decisions and solve problems on their own. Instead, they were the source of most of the problems.

So should you watch this movie? It depends. If there’s literally any other new Star Wars thing to watch, or the hope of watching, in the next five years, I would wait and watch that instead. But if all you’ve got is Caravan of Courage, then . . . beggars can’t be choosers? Don’t look a gift womp rat in the mouth?

I gave it a 4/10, and it probably deserved worse.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

March Madness Winner

Well, March Madness has come and gone this year. My personal bracket performed . . . fairly poorly. I picked Gonzaga to win it all, so at least I had half the finals right. But I only had 1/4 of the final four. 4/8 of the elite eight, and 7/16 of the sweet sixteen. Granted, it was a year full of quite a few upsets, so I definitely wasn’t alone, but still, I came in 9th in the challenge, out of 15 teams that entered. (More or less)

I say more or less because this year I did three test entries (that counted as part of the 15). The first was autogenerated by coin flip. ESPN randomly chose winners for each game. That bracket came in dead last, which was expected. The second was done using ESPN’s “expert analysis.” Basically it ran through each of the games and picked who they thought would win according to the data they had on each time. That team came in 5th, which was quite a bit better than I expected, and definitely leaves something to be said for the value in just letting the experts make the picks for you.

The third approach was done by just always picking the better seed to win each game. No upsets. No cinderella stories. And that one . . . came in second. If Gonzaga would have won last night, that third bracket would have won the whole thing. Granted, the reason it did so well is that the two “best” seeds went to the finals, but it’s still a little discouraging to think that all that deliberating on who would win which game, and which upsets I had to watch out for, all paled in comparison with just going for the better team each time.

However, the good news is that a human actually beat the ranking system, and so I’m pleased to announce that Rachel Cundick wins the prize and gets to name a character in THE AXEMAN. Which is handy for me, because I don’t really like coming up with names, and I’ve got a number of unnamed characters at the moment who would love having a moniker.

Thanks to everyone who played, and catch you next year!

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Ranking the Muppets

A link has been making the rounds on social media, where NPR conducted a survey of 18,000 listeners to determine who were the most popular Muppets. It’s been shared with me from a couple different friends, and it was definitely an interesting exercise, but let’s be honest here: it was also incredibly wrong. I mean, any list that ends up with Pepe the King Prawn beating out Ernie has some obvious flaws. Flaws I feel compelled to point out publicly. I’m not exactly sure where to begin, but I’ll do my best here.

First of all, I’d like to attack the very basis of the exercise. “Rank the top Muppets” to me is sort of like saying “Rank your family members.” I mean, sure, you may have some family members who you just like more than others, but you’d have to be close to certifiably insane to decide to make a list like that, much less make it public. I’m one of 10 children, once you take in all my step and half and full siblings. I could make a list ranking my siblings from least to most favorite, but why in the world would I do that? I mean, maybe (just maybe) if someone had a gun to my head and said I had to rank them or else I’d die, then I might decide that would be a good idea, but even then I’d do my darnedest to eat the list once the gun was put away.

Ranking Muppets is different than ranking movies or books. It’s like you’re ranking people. And sure, People Magazine does the whole “Sexiest Man Alive” poll or whatever, but this list isn’t ranking the Muppets in terms of sex appeal (because first: ew, and second: obviously Gonzo.) No, it’s going full on for popularity, plain and simple. Which is just misguided and icky from the get go.

But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the idea isn’t bad from the beginning. That ranking Muppets by popularity is a good idea. Even then, the list made some pretty huge goofs. For one thing, they made their pool too big. “Muppets” (for them) included Sesame Street characters as well. So they didn’t just make a “Rank your family members” list; they made a “Rank your friends and family members” list. And sure, the list talks about being “ruthless,” but there are some things you just don’t do. Sesame Street characters do different things than Muppet characters. Ranking one or the other would already be painful enough, but now you’re opening yourself up to huge biases in what people are looking for in a TV show character.

Which leads me to another critique. The way they ranked this was by popular vote. There’s no way of proving somebody didn’t go all American Idol on the vote and just make multiple calls to vote. Ballot stuffing is the only thing that accounts for Pepe’s presence as high as he is. (Sorry, Pepe. If this list were “Best Muppet with too many legs,” you’d be right up there, my friend.)

Even then, they made some bizarre choices. Statler and Waldorf are considered a single character. Dr. Honeydew and Beaker are separate. Labyrinth characters count. Star Wars characters don’t. Why not, pray tell? Frank Oz did Yoda, Miss Piggy, and Grover. All were puppets. Is it that Yoda looks more “realistic” than Grover? But the puppets in Labyrinth look more realistic than Grover too. Where’s the line?

Could I look at this list and find other flaws beyond the Pepe ranking? Sure, and I had planned to, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought each time I make a nitpick about the list, I’m granting it a little more power, and coming closer to doing the very thing I’m critiquing the list for doing. The trick is to not buy into that reality. The more we feed it, the stronger it becomes.

So, since I’m so ready to cast stones at NPR’s top 25 list, am I ready to come up with one of my own? Of course not, though I do have this list of favorite siblings, now that you mention it . . .

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Weekly Weigh In: April Already

It’s another Friday, which is a relief right now, since it means I already know what I’m going to blog about the moment I wake up. (Sometimes coming up with a good topic is more than half the battle.) I’ve continued to stick with my diet completely, with no cheating to speak of. If anything, I’ve tweaked my calories down a bit, hoping to keep the pounds coming off.

This morning, I entered a 181.4 pounds. That’s 1 pound less than last Friday, and 7.2 pounds since I started. You’d think that would be cause for great celebration (it is), but at the same time, it’s a bit of a disappointment. Last Saturday (the day after I posted), I stepped on the scale and found I was down to 181.2, which was obviously really encouraging. But that one day of encouragement was offset by the following 6 days of just sort of kicking around the same weight.

Still, I’ve just been doing this for 26 days. Losing as much as I have in that time is super, and I have to just keep reminding myself that. But I would like to switch over to a maintenance plan sooner rather than later, and it can definitely be discouraging to be following all the rules and still not be seeing daily progress. Looking at Friday to Friday weigh ins, it was down 1.2 pounds, 2 pounds, 1.2 pounds, and now 1 pound. That’s pretty consistent, with a huge random swing in the middle for some reason.

Anyway. Nose. Grindstone. I know how this works, even if sometimes I wish there were a fast forward button.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

I’m No Fool

I remember how much I used to look forward to April Fool’s Day each year. There was a stretch around 2000-2010 where I thought the things posted online by companies were just endlessly amusing, and I got a kick out of seeing what they all came up with each year. I also enjoyed playing tricks on friends or family.

For some reason, that sense of fun is just not in me right now, and I’m trying to figure out why. Some of it is no doubt due to the pandemic. It just doesn’t feel right to me to be goofing around at the expense of other people. But I think it’s that last bit (“at the expense of other people) that took most of the wind out of my April Fool’s spirit.

It’s just rare that I see something that’s worth the prank these days. So far today, I’ve seen a couple of things I really liked. My sister filled her minivan with balloons to surprise her kids in the morning when they went to drive to school. I can get behind that sort of thing: a genuine, pleasant, fun surprise that elicits wonder and amazement. Five points for Gryffindor. Then a coworker’s daughter changed her birthday on Facebook to April 1st. Commence the flood of Happy Birthdays from across her Facebook frienddom, each one of them unwittingly contributing to the April Fool’s joke. I thought that was pretty ingenious (though of course, once it’s a known thing, then it’ll lose it’s luster . . .)

But so much of what I used to like about the day, I just don’t anymore. News articles that are fake aren’t nearly appealing as they used to be, thanks to the plethora of actual fake news articles out there. It used to be I’d see one and get a chuckle out of it, blithely assuming no one would think it was actually true. Now I know better, so the less of those fake articles out there, the better. (Not that I mind sites like the Onion, but for April Fool’s, even “real” news sites were sometimes joining in the fun.)

I’m wondering if I’m alone in this, or if others of you out there are just through with April Fool’s for now. Maybe I’ll change my mind about it someday in the future, but for this year . . . I just don’t care.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Movie Review: My Neighbor Totoro

We’re still (slowly) making our way through the movie list I made for Daniela back in the early days of the pandemic. (Though come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen the actual piece of paper kicking around anywhere. I wonder if she’s still got it.) MC noticed that some of them were cartoons, and so she’s been campaigning to watch those for the last while. We watched Howl’s Moving Castle, followed by Spirited Away, and last night we finally watched My Neighbor Totoro. This is my first time watching these Miyazaki movies, and it’s been an interesting experience.

First of all, it’s been fun to see what fantasy looks like from a foreign perspective. I am not well-versed in Japanese culture and lore, so it’s certainly possible Miyazaki is drawing on well-known tropes for his films, but I’ve found them all to be unique and interesting. Totoro is no exception. Even describing the plot comes across as different and foreign. Two sisters move into a mysterious new house with their father. They meed the neighbors, both human and fantastical. Adventures ensue.

What I mean is the plot doesn’t really follow any pattern you’d find in a typical American-made movie. That’s not a complaint, mind you, but it does mean you need to watch the film with an open mind and not get impatient. The pacing is different. The approach to conflict is different. To me, that all adds to the appeal of the movie. The way it portrays a culture and worldview so different to what I’m used to. It’s especially good for fantasy, since it made me realize how often I assume the tropes I’m familiar with are the ones other cultures would use. Fantasy supposedly lets us see what other place and peoples are like, but almost all of those places and peoples and creatures and whatnot end up coincidentally following the same tropes Americans have been using for years.

(Case in point that’s more immediate to me: back when I was researching Vodnik, I was surprised how often Denisa would describe what things were like in her folktales in Slovakia, and they just made no sense to me at all. Vodniks are water spirits that are friendly, but they also will drown you and store your soul in a teacup. It feels like a dissonance to me, simply because I didn’t grow up with that story baked into my upbringing, if that makes sense.)

My Neighbor Totoro is a beautiful movie. The animation is fantastic, as with all of Miyazaki’s films. The soundtrack is a blast. What was not so good was the dubbing. We were watching this on HBO Max, and I didn’t realize until after we’d already finished the movie that it was possible to watch it in the original Japanese, so we saw the whole thing with the 2006 Disney dubbing version. It left a whole lot to be desired for me. The song lyrics felt really clunky, the dialogue stilted, and I think that all added up to the whole film feeling off. When I went back and turned on the original Japanese and watched some scenes, they worked much, much better. The voices fit the characters more completely. It was as if someone was over-describing the movie to me the whole time, filling in every little blank for me. I like it more when I can fill my own blanks in instead, thanks very much. Lesson most definitely learned.

(For example, there’s a scene in the movie where the sisters are at their new house. The father tells them to go inside, and then adds “don’t forget to take off your shoes.” The sisters leave their shoes on, but walk through the house on their knees instead, never letting their feet touch the floor. In the non-dubbed version, the father doesn’t say anything about taking off their shoes. They just know that’s what they’re supposed to do, and so they use their knee-walking as a natural way to get around it. The dubbed in extra line explains things for people who need everything spoon fed to them, but do that again and again over the whole movie, and it can mess the entire thing up.)

Overall, the whole family enjoyed the movie. It’s rated G, and it was intriguing from beginning to end. I imagine it would be better on a second or third viewing, once the unfamiliar storytelling conventions are more expected. Overall, I gave it an 8/10, which is probably lower than it deserves, and also likely lower than I would have given it had I watched the whole thing in Japanese. Those translation issues can really throw a wrench in the works . . .

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

THE PERFECT PLACE TO DIE is a Junior Library Guild Pick

I got some good news last week when I heard the Junior Library Guild selected THE PERFECT PLACE TO DIE as one of their gold standard selections. Of course, I can already hear the question coming (What’s the Junior Library Guild?”), so allow me to explain.

Think of the Junior Library Guild as a sort of book club for librarians. Each year, they read through a slew of books sent to them by publishers. Something along the lines of more than 5,000 each year. Of those, their team selects the books they feel are the best in a variety of categories: around 650 a year. Their organization then pre-orders a bunch of the books they select, and offer them to members of the JLG as part of a variety of discount packages.

So what does this mean for my book? Well, for one thing, it’s the first book I’ve had that’s been selected, so that’s a nice perk no matter what. (Though in their defense, my previous books were through smaller presses, which can sometimes struggle to get noticed.) It also means that I’ve sold copies of THE PERFECT PLACE TO DIE before it’s even out, so that’s a nice thing too.

But beyond that, it’s just warm fuzzies to know complete strangers read my book and liked it enough to add it to a “best of” list. Any list, really. And JLG is owned by the same folks who do The Horn Book, Library Journal, and School Library Journal. They like to brag that 95% of award winners were first selected as Junior Library Guild picks, which is a pretty good track record. These days, it’s one thing to publish a book. Pretty much anyone can do that at this point. The bigger challenge is getting people to read the book you published. They have to hear about it and then decide it sounds like something they’d like to read. With so many other books out there, that can be a real uphill struggle.

How do you get people to hear about a book? Word of mouth is a huge driver, but that can only pick up speed if someone has actually read the book first. You can’t say “Have you read” if you haven’t read it in the first place, you know? Goodreads and Amazon reviews help with that. Book bloggers help. Librarians help a lot, acting as a delivery mechanism to getting good books out to readers. So having a recommendation that goes out to librarians across the country is definitely a good thing.

And these days, I’ll take definite good things wherever I can get them.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Returning to American Idol

Okay, okay. Remember how back when I blogged about revisiting Survivor, I mentioned in passing (and jokingly) that I might even try American Idol again? Yeah, well . . . I broke down and added it to my DVR, and then I went one step further and watched the first episode. One thing led to another, and that’s how I’ve started watching the season. Yeah. I’m a sucker, what can I say?

However, a few comments have come to mind around this new version of American Idol that I’m watching now. First of all, the DVR makes a huge difference. If there’s a performance I don’t like, I can just skip it. I can also skip all the ads, which means an episode takes much less time. (I don’t think I’ll watch it live. Even for live sports, I typically will just stay away from any news sources and then start the game an hour or so late. Who has time for ads?) Watching shows on my own schedule is very freeing. (Though there are still some shows I make time for each week as soon as I can. The Marvel shows on Disney+ have been that way for me so far.)

But more than just watching it with a DVR is the fact that the old American Idol was basically “Watch Simon be abusive to people for an hour.” Paula and Randy’s comments didn’t really “matter.” The whole point of the show was to impress Simon Cowell. (A format that went on to be successful in other reality shows, including The Apprentice. One might even wonder if Donald Trump would have been president if not for the path Simon Cowell blazed for him.)

Back in the day, I remember really liking Simon because he was so brutally “honest.” I cringe to think back on that now. And if the current AI were that way, there’s no way I would stick with it. However, the new hosts are genuinely caring. Sure, they do and say some stupid things now and then, and they can get combative with the contestants if the contestants are being combative first, but by and large they seem genuinely concerned for the singers who are on the show. They want to see them succeed, and they give them feedback to help them, no matter what stage of the game the contestants are at.

I believe we all have different inherent aptitudes for different skills. Whether it’s sports or an instrument or writing or whatever, each of us would start off with more or less skill in that than someone else. But you can take the skill you start off with and really make something with it. Through hard work and diligence, you can make that skill come alive, and you can get to a higher point with it than someone with better inherent skill who chose not to hone it.

If people are genuinely interested in getting better at something, the way to help them isn’t to tell them how bad they are, though that can be appealing if you yourself are unconfident. To really help, you point out their strengths and weaknesses and show them the next steps. I really enjoy seeing the judges do that now. Are there as many zingers and “did he just say that?” moments? No, but who cares? You can watch people being nice to each other.

More of that, please.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Weekly Weight Check In: March 26

Another week in the books. I’m at the point now in this process (2.5 weeks in), where it all feels very routine, and it’s largely stopped being a pain to do. Last week I had lost 2 pounds over the week. This week, it was down to 1.2. Still, 1.2 pounds down is better than no pounds down (or any pounds up), so that’s definitely something. At this rate, if I kept things up, I’d be at my goal weight by the end of April.

Of course, the debate with the diet that’s hardest to solve is always (for me) what to do about holidays. I already dieted straight through Denisa’s birthday without really paying the day any notice. You’d think that would be an easy thing, but I’m not really crazy about doing it. Not because it’s hard, but because a lot of our family traditions involve food, for better or worse. Imagine sitting down to a nice Thanksgiving dinner, except your dad skips it, because he’s on a diet and knows how hard it’ll be for him to be there and not eat anything. That just doesn’t sit right with me.

Easter’s not exactly to Thanksgiving level proportions in my house, from a meal standpoint, but then again, it’s still a very noteworthy holiday, and I don’t think I want to just diet my way through it. So we’ll see if I can somehow manage to eat my way sparingly through the day. (Not the easiest thing for me to, speaking from historical experience.) Still, once day isn’t going to kill me, though it will likely make the diet go on longer. (And then at the end of the month, my father is coming into town for a visit. Again, that’s not the easiest thing to just diet your way through. My immediate family is very understanding of my diet, and it’s not like my father would be mad or anything for me dieting while they’re here. But it’s a chance to celebrate and enjoy life a bit for a few days. I don’t think I really want to miss out on that.)

Which likely explains why diets end up taking me longer than I anticipate. There’s always some reason to celebrate something, right? Even during a pandemic. (Especially during a pandemic.) I just have to remind myself I’m in this for the long haul, and it’s more a resetting of my lifestyle than a temporary restriction on what I eat. The ultimate goal is to live a life where I just don’t put on weight. I’m getting better at that, but I clearly still need practice . . .

Anyway. One more week in the books. Bring on the next!

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, and I’m now putting up chapters from PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

The Dishwasher Saga

As you likely know if you read my blog regularly, our current plan is to renovate our kitchen this year. Right now we’re looking at August. COVID pushes everything back. Always. We first wanted to do it back last spring, then we bumped that to the fall, and then to this spring, and now to August. Meanwhile, the price of lumber has skyrocketed, leading me to believe the industry has been taken over by some drug cartel. (I mean, it’s gotten three times as expensive in less than a year. Yowzers.)

But Denisa and I are undaunted. We want to press forward. For one thing, we already bought a new refrigerator when our old one broke during the pandemic, and the new one doesn’t fit where the old one used to go. This means we have our fridge in a different room than the kitchen. Now, I may not be a professional kitchen designer, so perhaps this is some new cutting edge approach to kitchen layouts, but I’ll say from experience, it’s Less Than Optimal when it comes to actually using your fridge. Also, our dishwasher is gurgling its way to an approaching death. The interior rack is literally rusting away to nothing, and I’m beginning to think people may need a tetanus shot just looking at it.

Which is why we bought a brand spanking NEW dishwasher on black Friday. Yes, it was earlier than we thought we needed to buy it, but I did some research into dishwasher storage, and it looked like we’d be fine leaving it in the garage over the winter, even in Maine temperatures. Little did we know that buying the dishwasher at the end of November meant we wouldn’t actually get it until . . .

Who knows? Not yet. We’ve called the company multiple times to keep getting updates. Supposedly we’re now the 13th people in line. (How long was this line to begin with?!?) This means we should have a dishwasher with our name on it in the next shipment of Bosch dishwashers the company gets. (I would say this all sounds fishy, but this isn’t my first kitchen appliance rodeo during the pandemic, remember? Getting the fridge required a not-so-minor miracle, and thank goodness that came through. Our backup plan was to use the hand-me-down fridge we have in the garage, which we still have from Breadweavers days. I’m not 100% sure, but my gut says this would have been less useful than having a fridge in an adjacent room to the kitchen . . .)

Theoretically, we should get our dishwasher sometime in April. But remember, that will then be contingent on the postal service (or some delivery service) getting it here. So maybe it’s good we’re not planning to use it until August. (And boy am I glad we bought it in November. If we bought it now, it almost certainly wouldn’t have arrived in time for our renovation.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, my lumber dealer just texted me to tell me he got a new shipment of premium white pine in, and if I don’t run over to pick it up now, I’m going to regret it. Here’s hoping the police don’t bust the trade this time.

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