Bryce Moore's Blog, page 304

For Valentine's Day, Why Not Watch Something Less Schmaltzy?

This Valentine's Day, you could watch your typical romantic comedy. Or maybe some snooze-fest of a drama. But why not turn back the clock a few decades and watch Hail the Conquering Hero, instead? It came out in 1944 and was directed by Preston Sturges, the same genius who brought you Sullivan's Travels and The Lady Eve. And yes, it's not your typical romantic comedy, but that's in its favor, right?



The story's simple: Woodrow always wanted to be a hero like his father, a Marine who was killed in action. He enters the Marines . . . and gets discharged for hay fever. Too ashamed to go home, he sends letters home instead, telling his mom all about the action overseas that he's not really involved in. He desperately wants to go home, but he can't bring himself to--until a group of real Marines finds out about him and force his hand. They tell him to lie and start pulling strings for him, then accompany him home personally.



Hijinks ensue.



And of course his hometown sweetheart is engaged to another man, because Woodrow wrote her and told her he had fallen for someone else--another lie. And so of course who knows if he'll get her back or not.



Really, the movie is just a delight. The only discomfort for me was wondering whether he would continually lie his way out of tight spots, or whether it would all turn out well in the end. I think you'll enjoy it more knowing that you'll like the ending. I don't think you'll be disappointed.



Also nice to see a movie where the Marines are presented so favorably. After A Few Good Men, Born on the Fourth of July and Full Metal Jacket, anything positive is a nice change.



Anyway, I'm at the library this evening, and Denisa worked this morning. Not much of a Valentine's Day for me--not that I'm a big fan to begin with. If you like it, more power to ya.

Birthdays, Thumb Sucking and Skiing: A Bryce Family Update

Hard to believe that three years ago today, we had our family increase from three to four. DC has been looking forward to today for the last six months or so, continually asking when her "Happy Birthday" was going to come. This morning, she was head over heels with excitement that it was here at last.

So what is DC up to these days? Denisa and I are currently trying to get her weaned from sucking her thumb. So far, it's been successful. How do we do it? The same way we did it with TRC. We'd tried everything with TRC--the fingernail paint, bribes, admonitions. You name it. Then one day I decided to try giving him a "special glove"--a sock that we put over the offending hand and then safety pinned on to his pajamas so he couldn't take it off. It stopped him cold turkey (although he now claims he still sucked his fingers--he just did it through the glove. Possible, but it still got him out of the habit.) We're now doing the same thing to DC, although she needs two special gloves, since she's been using both thumbs interchangeably. She looks a little funny, walking around on her way to bed with two socks on her hands, but hey--whatever we can do to help her have fewer teeth problems later, right? There's a carrot at the end of the stick, too: now that DC's stopped sucking her thumbs, Denisa has gone to get her nail polish at the store. Purple nail polish and a happy birthday, both on the same day? The girl's going to explode with excitement.

She's a very outgoing three year old. She loves to jump and play with her brother, and above all, she insists on equality. If TRC gets a piano lesson, then so does she. If TRC can read books, so can she. If TRC gets to play on my iPad, she does too. She loves watching movies, although more for the treats involved than for the movies themselves. (Her list of scary movies includes Follow that Bird, Elmo in Grouchland, Carebears, Beauty and the Beast, Princess and the Frog--pretty much any movie.) She usually comes out of her room around 6:30 each morning when I'm writing, and I send her off to Denisa to sleep some more. She puts anything and everything down for a nap (swaddling channel changers is a first for me), eats anything and everything sweet, and is overjoyed that she's been able to watch Sesame Street each day now.

And did I mention that Denisa has already started taking her skiing? Tuesday she went down the bunny hill five times. TRC, meanwhile, has already been down his first blue slope. We were going to go skiing this afternoon as a family, but it's in the single digits with the wind chill right now, so we decided to pass. (We're dedicated winter enthusiasts . . . but we're not that dedicated.)

In any case, we're very happy to have DC with us. This evening's agenda is some sort of dinner (her choice), flower cupcakes, probably a movie (with popcorn), and presents. She's getting a pink marble run, a pink doctor set (she loves to chase TRC around with anything remotely pointy, screaming "Flu Shot! Flu Shot!" (well, more like "Fu Shot!") over and over. I figure the doctor set--with a pretend syringe--should go over very well) and a sippy cup for her dollies.

Girl toys--a new field of research for this author/librarian. When do Barbies start?

Happy Birthday, DC!

Die, Polar Bear, Die!!!

I was running early this morning, so I thought I'd go get an extra errand done on the way to work. Maine winters mean lots of salt on your car, so what better way to spend a few extra minutes than by stopping by the car wash. I merrily gave it my credit card and punched in the options, pulled forward when asked to do so, and waited while the wonders of science cleaned my car.



But wait, I thought. The wonders of science have also taught me that it is Wrong to leave your car on when you're not driving anywhere. It wastes gas, and it kills polar bears. And while I"m sure a polar bear would kill me on sight if I ever bumped into one, I try to take the high road in these situations.



So I turned off my car.



The car wash finished, and I went to start the car. Click click click click click. A half-hearted lurch or two, and then nothing. I'm in the middle of the car wash, there are now cars behind me, I have a ride to catch in 15 minutes to go to a meeting in Augusta, I'm supposed to open the library before I go, and my car won't start.



Why in the world did I decide to have a car wash this morning, and why didn't I just kill those darn polar bears?



I get out of the car and stare at it for a bit, then get back in and try starting it again. Ladies and gentlemen, we now have confirmation that my stare isn't enough to bring cars back from the dead. So I get out of the car again and go to the guy behind me--the one wondering what in hades' name I was doing getting out of a car in the middle of a car wash when it's about -5 outside. (On a side note, if and when you need to get a car wash in Maine, don't do it when it's about -5 outside and your car isn't warmed up first. The water freezes right to the car. I won't charge you for that tip.)



Anyway--guy behind me agrees to help me push, and we the car out. I then call my mechanic. It sounds like a dead battery, but maybe the car wash froze a line somewhere or something. I mean, I *just had it running*, so how could it be the battery? A quick game of 20 questions later, and it's confirmed: it's almost definitely the battery. So the next call goes to Denisa: HELP! She agrees to troop the kids out in good ol' Tatonka (our second car). I make call #3: the library to see if someone can open for me and to get the number for my ride to Augusta. Call #4 is to the ride asking them to wait. Denisa shows up, the car gets jumped, we caravan over to the mechanic, then she drives me to work, then I go off to Augusta.



Long story, I know. It was a bad morning. But hey--I still made my meeting, my mechanic confirmed it was a battery problem, he replaced it for cheap, and I'm up and running again. It could have been worse. It could have died after one of my night shifts, or on the way down to PA one time. I mean, as long as it was going to just up and commit seppuku on me, it might as well have been at a time and place where I managed to work everything out.



But hey--my car's clean, and the polar bears get to live a few more seconds longer, so I guess in the end, everybody wins.



Until next time, when I'm gassing the heck out of those lousy Coca Cola swigging overgrown quadrupeds.

My First Thoughts on the Vodnik Edit

The Vodnik edit came in the mail yesterday. What does this mean? It means that I got a copy of the book with my editor's handwriting all over it (in purple, not red ink). For those of you wondering, that's 282 pages of text right now (1.5 spaced, I believe). Vodnik clocks in at around 102,000 words (Microsoft Office word count). How much ink was on the pages? Enough that it probably increased the shipping weight.



Seriously--most pages have something on them, and some pages have a lot of somethings. Before I got this edit, I was kind of nervous to see what it would be like. Were we talking about huge global changes that would take days of struggle for me to work through? Would I read it and weep for the amount of work that was ahead of me?



The answer is (thankfully) no and no. For those of you who have done writing groups (or been in one with me), this edit is comparable to a very thorough read through by an extremely good reader. Stacy noticed things that not one of my other gifted readers had picked up on. Things like character motivations that shift from one scene to another, or facts that contradict earlier facts. Some of this is due to the fact that we're working on a fourth draft here--there's been plenty of changes from draft one to now, and I didn't catch all the changes all the time, and some of the changes cause problems elsewhere that I also didn't catch.



But still, as I paged through the edit last night, I was relieved more than anything else. This was something I could do. It's something I've done before. It won't be a walk in the park--one of the things Stacy pointed out is that the book is too long right now. I agree. I've been wanting it to be around 75,000 words, and unfortunately each edit has made it longer, not shorter. I debated just cutting out every fourth word, but something tells me that might make it not quite as smooth. So how DO I cut it down? She noticed--and I agree, as have many of my readers to this point--that the first third of the book is slower than the last two thirds. That's a place that's prime for trimming, but I need to sit down and figure out what can go, what can be rewritten, what needs to stay.



When my friend Brandon Sanderson is rewriting, he likes to cut 15% from each chapter on a pure word count basis, meaning he does a word count before the edit, then one after. If he's gotten to 15%, then he's good to go. If he hasn't, he tries to keep cutting. I've tried this approach with some of my writing before, and I'm not sure how well it works for me. I feel like my voice is a particularly chatty one--conversational. That means that a lot of the time, I certainly *can* say things more succinctly, but I'm not sure if it makes it any better. The one book I tried this with across the board didn't feel appreciably improved at the end, although it was shorter.



*EDIT*



Wow. Check that. Reverse it. While I was writing the above paragraph, I was trying to remember for the life of me which book I'd cut by 15%. Turns out it was Vodnik. I'm actually on draft 6, not draft 5. Draft 4 had been trimming the story from 112,000 to 96,000 words. Draft 5 was me then revising it madly last September, and now here we are at draft 6. Looking over journal entries, there's a whole long road this book has gone down, and it will be interesting one day to sit down and trace its path. But today is not that day.



In any case, what this means is that maybe my writing *does* get better when I hack it back some. I'm going to have to reevaluate my world view now. :-) What it also means is that it won't be all that easy to just do a 15% trim on this current draft--a lot of the fat got chopped already. So I need to be looking at scenes, examining them to see if they're pulling their weight, and then trying to see if I can accomplish the same thing in an easier way.



That's actually first up on my plate--I'm summarizing what each chapter in the first third of the book accomplishes, then seeing if there are ways to condense that, and if each chapter is necessary. I won't cut just to have something shorter--it'll be as long as it *needs* to be. But I'm sure there are things that can be streamlined.



Should be interesting. No worries--I'll keep you all informed as this goes on. Wish me luck!

As Promised, A Picture of Me Wearing the Oscar the Grouch Hat

Don't anybody say I don't follow through with my promises, even when they involve public humiliation. So you might recall from my post on the upcoming Oscars that I'd made a request from you, my faithful readers. I wanted the Oscar the Grouch hat you see at the top of this post, to use as the yearly trophy for my Oscar party. (Not content to just do March Madness pools, I do Oscar pools, too. Hey--I like to swim.) I promised that if someone bought it for me, then I'd take a picture and post it here. I had made the plea pretty much jokingly--I hadn't even thought to look to see what sort of size the thing is. I have an enormous head, and most hats don't fit me, but I didn't think of it at the time, mainly because I didn't think anyone would take me up on the offer.



Well, the trouble with having your mother read your blog is that she's got plenty of experience when it comes to you and embarrassing pictures. She bought the hat and sent it to me, and now I have an Oscar trophy.



And you have this. Warning--what has once been seen cannot be unseen.



Don't say I didn't tell you.



Oscar party, here I come!

Writing a Murder Mystery

So the Groundhog Day Murder Mystery went off Friday to great success. Our Phil Connors was, unfortunately, down with a bad case of the flu, so I ended up having to play the part of Ralph the Drunk while also offering key bits of information Phil had told Ralph over a round of drinks. Other than that, it was a really fun evening. Great food, fun times, lots of laughs.



I've had a couple of people ask me about how I chose which murder mystery party game to use, and the answer (for those of you who missed it) is that I made my own. It's easier than it sounds. Back when I was still in Utah, Brandon Sanderson wrote a great Harry Potter murder mystery that we did with friends, and that was a lot of fun. Here's an old pic of Denisa and me in full homemade Slytherin regalia:





So we'd had a blast doing a homebrew murder mystery, and I'd been toying with writing one of my own, so I thought what better occasion than Groundhog Day? In the end, it's pretty simple. Step one is to decide how many guests you want to have. I'd suggest at least 6, but no more than 8. Step two is to pick a theme. If you use a well-known movie or book, then your guests will already have an idea who their characters are before they arrive, and it makes it much easier to dress up.



Once you've got the guest numbers down and the theme, then it's just a matter of plotting out a murder mystery. You make it so that each character has things to hide, and then you have at least one other character have noticed certain facts during the investigation that prompt them to inquire about the things that character would prefer stay hidden. Give everybody a motive, mess around with alibis and where everybody was when, and you're on your way.



You print up booklets for each attendee. These booklets include a summary of the crime--so that everyone knows the mystery ahead of time--a character description, suggestion for how to dress and act, and a summary of how the night will be run. Throwing in some pictures of the character they've been assigned to play helps, too. After that introductory material, there are sealed sections for each round you want to play.



I divided the night into three rounds. Each round has two categories in each player's booklet ("Things you'll share freely" and "Things you'd rather not discuss.") People can say whatever they want--but they can't lie. You unseal each section at the beginning of its corresponding round. People read over their categories, and they start asking each other questions. You play each round until conversation starts to peter out, making sure that everyone's shared all their "Things you'll share freely" tidbits before you move onto the next round. At the end of each round, you let people make a stab at who the culprit is. The winner is the person who guesses the right culprit the most times.



Other than that, you can give out awards for best costume and best acting (to encourage people to actually put some effort into it). I ran it as a pot luck dinner. Denisa and I did the main course and a side dish, and our guests brought a salad, appetizer and dessert. Round One happened during appetizers, Round Two during dinner, and Round Three around dessert.



As long as you invite people who aren't afraid to look stupid or foolish, you can't go wrong. The main goal is to have a fun time and do something different than what you usually do. It took some preparation, but I'd do it again. I plan to, actually. Thinking about a Princess Bride Mystery . . .

Off to Bangor (and a Short Vodnik Anecdote)

That's pronounced BANG-gor, for all you non-Mainers out there. Not BANG-er. But however you pronounce it, I'm heading there today for a library cataloging standards meeting. What's that, and why would I go to it? Well, I work for the University of Maine system, and that means there are a whole bunch of librarians at a whole bunch of universities. We all share the same catalog, but we're spread out across the state. In order to keep some order to that catalog, the heads of the cataloging departments meet up three times a year to discuss how things should be organized, and to decide when the best time to start our ploy for world domination will be. (Seriously--the meetings would be much cooler if they took place in the war room of Dr. Strangelove. Maybe I should make that suggestion.)

We meet in Bangor because it's central to the state, so no one has to drive six hours. I'll be at the Bangor Public Library today. Actually, last week I was at another Bangor library meeting. I'm on the Central Maine Library District Executive Board, and last Saturday we had a state-wide meeting of all the boards. So I got to go to that. (I also had the chance to announce to a room full of thirty librarians from across the state that Vodnik would be published in a little over a year. They all now want to know when it comes out, and they'd like to do some signings at other libraries, too. I even got an invitation to the Bangor Book Festival for next year. If you're a writer, you want to be a good library patron people. Librarians love books, and they love people who love libraries even more. Now if I could just arrange for Stephen King to read an ARC . . . His wife's on the board of trustees for the Bangor Public Library, and I know the director . . . But sadly, that's probably more than I'll be able to pull off. Not really sure Vodnik would be his cuppa, anyway.)

Anyway. This was all just to say why I wasn't going to be able to write much of a post today, but look at that--this post turned out to have some substance to it, after all. Have a happy weekend, all!

How Did You Get Out of Debt? Or Are You Still in It?

I'm prepping a class this week that I'll be teaching on Sunday on how to get out of debt. Why am I doing this? Well, on the one hand I suppose you could say I'm not really qualified to teach a class on getting out of debt, since I've never really been in debt to begin with. That's not to say that I don't have a mortgage or have a car payment, but Denisa and I managed to get through two undergraduate degrees and three masters degrees without getting any school loans. (Through a lot of scholarships and working multiple jobs. It also helped that we went to BYU for all but one of those, and BYU is dirt cheap compared to elsewhere). We also don't have any credit card debt, and we've been saving for retirement for a good six years now (not perfect--it would have been better if I'd started when I was 20 or something, but hey--who's perfect?). Then again, since we've managed to pull all that off, I suppose I'm somewhat qualified to talk to other people and give advice about how to get onto more secure financial footing.



In the end, though, I feel confident enough to teach the class because I don't think the principles are all that complex. This Saturday Night Live clip presents the basics in a pretty funny format:









Of course, I think the problem a lot of people run into these days is that it's easy to have a credit card in your wallet, and then it feels like you have money to buy things, even though that money doesn't really exist. Thousands of dollars of credit card debt later, and you're in a hole that feels insurmountable. Add to that any other debts you might have (student loans, mortgage, etc.) and it's amazing you're not blubbering in a corner somewhere.



Let me give you a rundown of what I'm thinking about teaching, and then if you have anything to add, I'd really appreciate knowing it. Maybe some of you have "get out of debt" stories that would shed some light on things. (Or get into debt horror stories) Anyway--just looking for any advice you might have that will make my lesson better.



Ready? Here we go.



In the end, what I'm arguing for is basically there are two "knobs" to money: how much you earn, and how much you spend. In order to get a hold on your finances, you need a clear picture of both. If you think you earn more than you actually do, then you could get messed up. If you think you spend less than you do, then it's even worse.



So step one is to figure out how much you make each month. I break it down by a monthly income because that's easier to control. I don't recommend including extras like Christmas bonuses, tax returns or gifts you regularly get. Why? Because it's better to be able to use those items to pay off your debt rather than sustain a lifestyle you can't afford.



Once you know how much you make, then it's time to know how much you spend. I've blogged before about  how I use Mint to keep track of my spending. It's a great tool, but it can be complicated to use, and it takes effort. Then again, from my experience it takes MORE effort to do it without Mint. Here's the thing: budgeting takes effort. Period. It's hard to do. It requires sacrifice. But if you want to get out of debt, it must be done. Like dieting. Grrr.....



After you know how much you make and how much you spend, you've got a feel for both knobs. To get out of debt, you can either turn down the spending or turn up the earning--or both. The first priority is to make sure you're spending less each month than what you earn. If you're deep in credit card debt, this will be difficult. You'll have to give up a certain lifestyle you've grown accustomed to. It might mean no more television, fewer toys, cheaper clothes, no eating out--it all depends on where your money is going. You look at what your needs are and what your wants are. Hopefully the sum of your needs is less than what you earn. If that's not the case, then you need to find ways to reduce that number. Move into a cheaper apartment, or stay with family. Sell the car and start walking to work, or buy a cheaper one. Or pick up a second or a third job. If you're married, your spouse might have to work, too. These are decisions that a family has to talk through. What's important if you're married is for both you and your spouse to be on the same financial page. You can't have one person saving like crazy and working her tail off only to have the other spending like Michael Jackson on a Vegas binge.



Anyway. Once you've got spending reigned in, it's time to address the debt you've accumulated. Take the remainder of what you have left over each month and start paying extra on your debt with the worst interest rate. Once that's paid off, roll that payment into paying your next worst rate. Rinse and repeat. Put any extra money you make toward paying off those debts. It might take a few years, and it won't be easy, but once you're free and clear (of all but your mortgage, at least), you'll feel much better.



At the same time, it's a good idea to be saving up some money for emergencies--so that you don't have to put those on credit cards when they happen. (And they will happen.) I don't know when saving this will fit in best in your debt recovery plan, but sooner is better than later.



Living in a budget hasn't been easy for Denisa and me. There are times we really struggle to keep things checked. (Case in point--we try to make it over to Slovakia once every three years to visit her family and let TRC and DC experience what it's like over there. We think this is very important--but it costs an arm and a leg, especially now that there are four of us . . . ) That said, knowing where I am financially is a load off my mind, and it lets me sleep comfortably at night.



That about sums up what I have planned at this point. I think I'll go over some sample "case studies" to illustrate the point a bit better and more concretely. I also will talk a bit about why it's bad to be in debt in the first place, and the possibilities for debt reconsolidation--what that is and why you would do it. If any of you have anything to add on any of this, fire away.



And yes, you can even do so anonymously--this is one time when I won't mind. :-)

GROUNDHOG DAY!!!!!

That's right, woodchuck chuckers. It's groundhog time. And the question on everybody's lips (chapped lips) is what in the world will Bryce be doing this year to celebrate? Well wonder no more, porkchops. All shall now be revealed. :-)

This year was actually a hard year to plan for. Traditionally I have a grand extravaganza on February 2nd, full of groundhog games of skill and a viewing of the movie itself. I invite as many people as my house can take, and we hog it up, with themed desserts and goodies. However, this year Groundhog Day is on a Wednesday, which is usually a very busy day for me, full of work, writing group and church meetings. So fitting a party in there just wasn't going to happen. Instead, I took the day off and planned to laze around all day.

In a fitting Groundhog Day gift, Punxsutawney Phil gave me a blizzard, which gave me a snow day, which means I don't have to take time off for today. And since I don't have a big party scheduled for tonight, I don't have to worry about cancelling. :-) Instead, I'm hanging around home, watching the movie as a fam (we exchanged gifts this morning), baking something yummy and playing video games. Groundhog Day is all about hibernating--doing whatever you want to do and like to do most.

But it wouldn't be a Bryce Groundhog Day without something elaborate, right? And so back when I noticed Groundhog Day was on a Wednesday, I started plotting. Planning. Scheming.

Writing.

And I created "A Groundhog Day Murder Mystery." It's a game for eight people. Want to know what it's all about? Well, here's the introduction I wrote. 

Of one thing there can be no doubt: Ned Ryerson is dead. It's true. That annoyingly obnoxious insurance salesman, the bane of all of Punxsutawney, that moron of morons, irritant of irritants, has passed on. And of all days for it to happen, it had to happen on Groundhog Day.

It all started out as your typical, run of the mill Groundhog Day. The locals were out early, either cursing all the traffic that kept them from getting to work or causing that traffic in an effort to get to the celebration on time. Tourists had invaded the town like a biblical plague, and polka music was blaring from the town square's gazebo. Phil came out and did his thing, and the result was typical: six more weeks of winter. The sole item of interest was a rather bizarre news report by Phil Connors of WPBH Channel 9, where he started yelling at the groundhog and throwing things at the poor creature. The weatherman was taken into brief custody by the police, however, and soon everything was back to normal. There was ice carving, a chili cook off, dancing, local bands--the works.

And then it happened.

Some local kids at the park found Ned's body in the gazebo at seven o'clock. There wasn't a mark on him, but he was dead as dead could be. They called 911, and the paramedics did what they could, but it was too late. If Ned had been able to opine about the incident, he would have told anyone who would listen (and anyone who wouldn't) that the statistical odds of a healthy Caucasian male dropping dead like that were astronomically low. But Ned wasn't there, and everyone was ready and willing to forget about the incident and head to the Groundhog Ball.

Everyone but Detective Hardy, that is. He was a local Punxsutawney man, and he knew the town better than anyone. He also knew just how many people Ned had irritated over the years. Putting two and two together, he concluded it was likely a case of foul play. He doesn't have any proof just yet, but he's asked the likely suspects to assemble in one of the local homes to wait for the toxicology report to come back from the lab. If it comes back clean, then everyone at least got a free dinner out of the situation. If it doesn't . . . then it'll be time to find out whodunit. 

I couldn't invite over as many people as I would have liked, but that's the way it goes sometimes. There's always next year. I'll tell you how it goes. I might have to tweak it some, but it should be entertaining, at least. Everyone's coming dressed as a character from the movie. I'm really looking forward to it. (And for those wondering, I'm going to be playing the part of Ralph the Drunk. Denisa is Mrs. Lancaster. I will post pictures.)

Anyway, folks. Hope you all have a wonderful Groundhog Day. Phil says it'll be an early spring, but what exactly "early spring" means in Groundhogese is open to debate. As far as I'm concerned, it can just keep on snowing until March. :-)

Happy Groundhog Day!

A More Peaceful Bryce Tells You How to Make Your Facebooking Safer

[image error] Sorry about my rant from earlier today. I'm feeling much better now, thanks for asking. It helped to get that all off my chest. I love my blog sometimes. :-)



Anyway, I thought I'd give you all something non-ranting today, so here's a link to my library blog, which tells you all about how you can make Facebook more secure in about a minute, and why you'd want to do that.



See? I'm not always just whining and complaining. I'm helpful sometimes, too.