Bryce Moore's Blog, page 186

OUR LADY is Officially Out on Submission

I’m very pleased to be able to type that title, as OUR LADY OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS (there you go, folks: the full title at last!) was one of the trickiest books for me to finally get to this point. I first wrote a book called GET CUPID about a teenage delinquent and his faithful sidekick teaming up with some other magic users to save Valentine’s Day. It was a fun book, but extremely haphazard. My agents said it was just too much for one book, and looking over at it, I agreed.

It was a not-fun discovery to make. I’d spent a lot of time and effort on that book, and there were things about it that I really loved. The main characters, for one thing. They were cool and fun and light, and I’d gotten to know them very well over the course of those edits. The thought of just mothballing them all wasn’t appealing.

So I decided to revise GET CUPID again. And I began the project, trying to decide what to keep and what to throw out, but it didn’t take long before I threw my hands up in disgust. “It would be easier to just write a new book from scratch,” I said, then paused, because it was a really good idea.

Eldin and Braces (the two main characters of GET CUPID) met at a school for the magically delinquent called Our Lady of Questionable Morals. (Growing up, there was this convent(?) sign I’d always see on the way to church: Grey Nuns of the Sacred Heart. I liked to play a game each time I saw it: try to come up with cool sounding riffs on it. “Our Lady of Questionable Morals” was one of my favorites, and it seemed like a perfect fit to use as the name for an American Hogwarts that’s focused solely on the criminal underworld.)

In GET CUPID, I’d shied away from writing a “school book.” It was still too close to Harry Potter’s glory days, and I worried it would get tossed out as another wannabe. But by the time I was thinking about this new book, Harry Potter had stopped looming as large. What if I just jumped back in time and wrote about how Eldin and Braces met, and how they learned the ropes?

My agents agreed with the idea, and so I was off and running. It still wasn’t a book that wrote itself by any means. I finished the first draft, and there were serious issues with it. In the end, I had to write four drafts to get it to the point where my agents were happy with it, and I was happy as well. Along the way, I feel like it went from something that could be exciting to something that really was great. It had the fun of GET CUPID without the shotgun approach of throwing everything in. Much more focused and less zany.

The final product is just what I’d wanted it to be: Ocean’s Eleven meets Harry Potter. I know comparisons get tossed around like candy these days, but I think this one is pretty spot on. It’s YA, thieves and con artists, a magic school (distinctly American, not British), diverse group of characters, heists, capers . . .

It’s pretty much my favorite book that I’ve written so far. It’s also the first to go on submission where I purposely tried to be funny. Being funny is a side effect for me a lot of the time. This was a book where I really wanted humor to play a role. (Any book that involves talking panda bears better not take itself too seriously, you know.)

Anyway. It’s on submission. My twelfth completed novel. What does that mean? It means I’ve begun the long waiting game yet again, as we see if any editors out there share the same opinion about the book that my agents and I do. That can go quickly, and it can also take years. I personally am hoping for the former, but we all know the latter is a distinct possibility.

I won’t be updating about OUR LADY until something real happens. Meaning, it sells. I’ve found worrying about a book once it’s on submission is a recipe for heartburn and disaster. Easier to forget it even exists. In the meantime, I’m revising MAGIC AT 30,000 FEET, and then I have a sci-fi book I’m tweaking for my next project.

Onward and upward!

The Great British Baking Show

Okay. One of the perks of being the current president of the Maine Library Association is that I get the chance to hang out with an awful lot of librarians. Bucketloads. And while there are many geek librarians out there (we are legion), there are also plenty of other varieties. Knitting librarians. Regency romance librarians. You name it.

So I get to rub elbows with people who aren’t all about the latest Star Wars movie coming out. But the thing is, we’re all geeks in one way or another. We just geek out about different things, is all. The guys who go to football games with their chests painted are showing the same trait as the fans who go to conventions dressed up as Groot. And I tend to respect geekery in all its many forms.

Which is a long way of saying that I heard through the librarian grape vine about The Great British Baking Show. I mean, again and again and again I heard about it. Enough that I finally decided to break down and see what it was all about. What was this show that my fellow librarians were complaining about missing because they were at an awards ceremony? Why was it so good?

Netflix has one season available, so I roped the rest of the family into watching the first episode with me. They were not excited. Particularly not TRC. But they agreed, mainly because I had the channel changer and they didn’t.

And it was wonderful. I mean, just flat out incredible. We’ve almost finished the first season, and we’ve loved every minute of it. The premise is simple: the top amateur bakers in Britain get together and compete to find out who’s the best. Each week, they do three challenges: a signature creation of their choice, an assigned recipe (they all bake the same thing), and a showstopper (something that’s supposed to really wow the judges). Each week has a different theme, as well. Pies. Cakes. Pastries. That sort of thing.

It’s a bad show for a man who’s mostly off sugar.

But even then, it’s really incredible. There’s none of the backbiting and conniving you get on other reality shows. It’s nice people doing cool things and being accurately judged.

If you haven’t seen any of it, you really owe it to yourself to watch it. Now I just need to figure out where I can go to watch other seasons . . .

The Gifts That Keep On Giving

It’s Christmastime again, and we’re down to a week or two left of actual shopping time before things get way hectic. And so I thought I’d take a moment to go over a few of my favorite all-time gifts that I’ve given or gotten, and give you all the chance to do the same. I know I start to scramble for ideas some years, and so it can be really helpful to me to hear what other people have had good success with. Ready? Here’s the quick rundown:

By far, the gift that went over best last year was the Blendtec. I got it for around $200 refurbished, and my family uses it at least once a day. Usually twice. Everyone in the family loves the shakes and smoothies it makes. It’s easy to maintain, easy to use, and worth every penny I paid.
Speaking of food, this pressure cooker continues to see regular use in our household as well, five years after we got it. Denisa really appreciates how easy it is to use. Two thumbs up.
Our Apple TV has been a favorite, and it’s especially great if you have other Apple products. It plays all my music, puts up family pictures as a screen saver, lets us watch Netflix, etc. Great stuff. I haven’t used the new one yet, but I have nothing but good to say about the old one.
Rocksmith 2014 continues to chug along for me, three years on. Great game to learn guitar on.
Kindle Paperwhites are a favorite for both Denisa and me. Easy to use, and great for reading at night so we don’t keep each other up. They’ve also been a book to helping us fall asleep easier.
Rainbow Loom was surprisingly popular with both TRC and DC. Go figure. Cheap, and hours of entertainment. A good combination.
Seven Wonders is a favorite game to play with three or more. Hanabi is easy and cooperative. Pandemic is great (and I’ve heard great things about Pandemic Legacy, though I haven’t played it yet).
Our Kitchenaid Stand Mixer is still chugging along, ten years or so after it was a Christmas gift. We got the 6qt professional.
My favorite remote control of all time is easily the Harmony Smart Control. Operates tons of devices easily and effectively. And you no longer have to point the remote at the device you’re trying to control. I’ve set up 4 of these puppies, and they all just keep working.
Our family started a handmade Christmas present challenge a few years ago, and that continues to do well. We exchange names, and the one requirement is that whatever you give the other person has to be handmade. Great way to make things less money, and have it be more about love than stuff.
A Minecraft account does wonders for a child. Not kidding.

That’s a good start for ideas right there. No idea if what I’m getting the fam this year will end up being as good as those. I’ve certainly given some duds over the year as well. But such is life. Ideally, you find a gift that ends up making a real impact on someone.

Any good pointer from anyone else out there? I’ve finished my shopping at this point, but I’m always looking for new ideas. (Pro-tip: I keep a private Amazon wishlist, and any time I come up with an idea for a present, I add it to the list. Buying gifts becomes a million times easier when you do that.)

The Wire 2:7 and 2:8

Okay. Time to take a break from taking pot shots at Donald Trump to review the latest two Wire episodes. Hard to believe we’re over half way into the second season, but even harder to believe is that somehow in those first 6 episodes, I started caring about the stevedores union people as much as I cared about the Barksdale crew in season one. It’s something I thought I’d be able to spot easier on the rewatch. I’ve been looking for the moment when suddenly I cared. But there wasn’t one. I think it happened as I understood more and more the struggles they were dealing with, and what exactly it is they were up to. It’s an organic growth, but well executed nonetheless. (Good thing, as the Barksdale crew is just about an afterthought in both of these episodes.)

Anyway–on to the episodes!

Episode 2:7

Ah, Fuzzy Dunlop. How I missed you. Herc and Carver sort of exist in the first two seasons for us to get a nice laugh now and then, and this is one of my favorite of their subplots. Watching them try and navigate Fuzzy through “the modern urban crime environment” is just too much fun, and the expression on their face when Fuzzy gets launched into the street . . .

Priceless. (And more on Fuzzy next episode.)

But the episode isn’t all about laughs. You’ve got Daniels conflicted between his desire to be a good person and a successful cop. (And as The Wire points out so often, those two goals don’t always go hand in hand.) When he tells his wife, we see the sort of toll this is taking on his personal life, as she seems for the first time to be much more interested in being married to a successful cop than a good man. (Though I think she’d argue why can’t he be both, and that’s another continuing question this show asks us time and time again.)

You’ve got McNulty as almost an afterthought, when we see him finally realize that there’s nothing he can do to make Elena trust him again. (Again–more on that in the next episode.)

Bigger than all of that, the detail finally makes big progress, tracking the can to the warehouse, and tying Proposition Joe into all of it. Again, it’s interesting that the police can know all the bad things going on, but until it ties into something noteworthy (like, say, drugs) they’re hands are tied. It’s interesting to see how the law sometimes gets in the way of doing “the right thing.” But then again, comparing The Wire with news stories about what cops have done makes you question whether the clear cut “right thing” is always so easy to identify. Maybe it’s a really good thing that there are so many limits placed on the police. After all, even The Wire shows what cops are willing to do to make things easier on themselves.

It’s a strong episode. 9/10

Episode 2:8

McNulty decides to show us just how low he can go, and just how quickly. With Elena having turned him out on his ear, he dives head first into a bottle, endangering his life and others. Him driving around so drunk that he feels the need to recreate his own accident to see if he can get it right the second time (symbolism, anyone?) was down right upsetting. And yet even a drunk McNulty is (apparently) an irresistible McNulty, as he’s able to sweet talk his way into a waitress’s bed without really trying. (Ladies, you’re going to have to explain this to me. I have no idea why Jimmy is apparently this attractive. Am I missing something?)

But it’s nice to see the detail stick up for him. For Bunk to realize that for all his flaws, McNulty deserves better than this. They recognize just who it is they’re dealing with, but they also know that he can be a real asset. And then of course Beadie can’t resist him either. But then McNulty goes and surprises us. He looks at Beadie and sees her as a person instead of just another conquest, and he leaves. And that’s the sort of action that makes me respect McNulty and root for him. He’s a good man who’s got a whole lot of problems, in the same vein as Bubs. (Bubs! Come back! We miss you!)

The Wire loves showing us people like this. No one’s completely villainous. Even Wee-Bey has his fish. (Though I guess we haven’t seen the worst the show has to offer us yet . . .)

So. About Fuzzy. Yes, this is funny. Yes, I liked seeing Herc and Carver up to these shenanigans, but take a step back for a moment and think about it. These are tax dollars at work. Sure, they could argue that they wouldn’t have to resort to this if they were properly funded, but Herc and Carver are essentially stealing money from Baltimore. Sure, it’s funny. But on my second watching of it, I also found it disappointing. Or am I just a stick in the mud?

Ziggy and the duck works in so many ways in this episode. You’ve got this character I loathe, who’s a joke to everyone he meets, showing that he recognizes what a joke he is, and embracing it by getting a joke of his own. Ironically, it even seems like the duck is more accepted than Ziggy is. How sad is that? Ziggy’s caught in this no-man’s land area where there just isn’t anything he seems to be able to do to break out of it.

Then again, why is that? Maybe it’s because he does idiotic things like throw money out of car windows, or burn $100 bills in front of people. He continually bites the hand that feeds, and just refuses to accept his own incompetence. (The first step to dealing with a problem is admitting you have a problem, folks.)

But speaking of people who can’t admit they have a problem, let’s talk about Nick for a moment. Nick the Wise. This episode is where I figured out he’s actually only wise in comparison to Ziggy. He told Ziggy not to do anything too flashy with the drug money. Ziggy naturally went out and bought a ridiculous jacket. But what has Nick done? He’s bought a house, and a sweet truck. And then he sits in the truck and preens just as much as White Mike was preening in the last episode.

Nick has gotten too big for his britches, it seems. The bigger they are . . .

There’s a ton more I could talk about, as there always is. Sobotka getting wise to the detail’s surveillance. The Greek figuring out how they might ditch the cops. It’s progressed to the chess game stage of the season, with both sides maneuvering, and both sides more or less equally matched.

In other words, great television. Another 9/10 for me. What did you think?

Trump to Write New Book Titled “My Struggle”

Donald Trump, darling of the far right, has just announced plans to write an autobiographical manifesto of sorts, detailing his plans, hopes, and dreams for the future of the United States. “I’ve had a hard life growing up,” Trump told reporters. “My dad could only give me a small seven figure loan to get on my feet, and it’s amazing I’ve been able to come so far, considering all the ways this country’s policies has made life difficult for me. Rich white men are really discriminated against these days, and I want to make sure the world knows all about it.”

The book plans to outline a fair chunk of his political ideology as well. It will cover such topics as why Muslims are the root of all problems in America today. “America should be for Americans. We don’t need any of these refugees coming in here. Terrorists. Drug dealers. We need to come up with an answer to all of this. A permanent answer. A final solution of some sort, so we don’t need to keep revisiting the issue. Maybe they should all move to Madagascar. Maybe something else. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be huge.”

Of course, Trump has big plans for himself these days. He remains the frontrunner for the Republican nomination for President, and he’s already planning some of his policies, should he be elected. “Right off, I’m going to invade Poland.” (At this point, an aide leaned over and whispered something in his ear, after which he cleared his throat and continued.) “Syria. Invade Syria. Sorry about that. Freudian slip. I also have been eyeing the Sudetenland.” (Another pause for another whispered conversation.) “Or rather, Canada. They’re pretty much America already. I’m sure they’d love to have me running their country. America could really use some breathing space up north, you know? A little bit of Lebensraum.”

And finally, no interview with Mr. Trump could be complete without one final question: his hair. Is it real, or a toupee? “Absolutely real,” Trump reassured us. “And it’s key to my image. History has shown how great leaders always have something going on with their hair. Something special. I thought about growing out a little mustache for a while. Nothing big. Something tidy that sits right under my nose. I even tried it, but it made my face tickle, and it made me look even more like a rodent. The combover was my next idea, and it fits me.”

The publishing world eagerly awaits the new book by Trump. In the meantime, we’ll all have to settle for his keen insight and quick wit. His effortless tact and scintillating acumen. It’s hard to imagine a more charismatic leader, able to whip up the nation into a furor. Stay tuned as the story continues to develop…

Lest You Think I Have No Clout

Just a quick observation for you today, as I’ll be in library meetings for the next 8 hours or something, I posted on Friday about how BYU and Utah should stop playing each other in sports. Clearly, the rest of the sporting world was listening, because less than 48 hours later, the teams had been paired against each other in the upcoming Las Vegas Bowl.

So let’s see . . .

A football matchup that hasn’t happened in over a year. Each team’s final game of the season. Bronco Mendenhall’s final game as a BYU head coach. Pac-12 pride vs. independent spirit. “Holy War.” (I hate that title.) Utah has won 4 straight against the Y, so added pride on the line. Winner take all.

I don’t possibly see how this could go wrong at all. I mean, if BYU loses, then half of Utah is going to be sullen and pouty for the next month or so, and the other half is going to be Gloat City. And if Utah loses . . . it’s going to be the same end result.

It’s like Alien vs. Predator, people. No matter who wins, we lose.

And it’s all because I wrote about how the rivalry should end. The sporting world panicked that my common sense approach to rivalries might catch on, and so they decided to squash that right away.

In light of this, my next post is going to be about how I should stop getting sent free money in the mail. Here’s hoping I get the same result . . .

BYU and Utah Should Just Stop Playing Each Other

Yesterday I had a post on my Facebook page about how I wanted much stronger gun laws, so today I thought I’d go with something on my blog that would be much less controversial. Much more . . . nah. Never mind. I want to talk briefly about the BYU/Utah rivalry. More specifically, I want to talk about how it needs to go away. Permanently.

When I was at the Y, the Utah games were always the biggest games of the year, of course. Fans and players alike got very hyped for them. There were some really fantastic games played, with come from behind victories and zaniness galore. I enjoyed going to them, and remember many of them quite vividly. And there are a slew I loved watching on TV. Why would I want that to end?

Because while there have been some great games, I don’t think it’s worth the vitriol and hate that ends up getting spewed by both sides of the rivalry. The BYU/Utah basketball game on Wednesday is a prime example, where you have a BYU player essentially sucker punch a Ute. I have no idea what was going on or being said on the court before that punch, but really it doesn’t matter. Any game (emphasis on game) that is making otherwise rational people behave like that is a sign that things have gone too far.

One of the reasons I think it got more heated Wednesday? For one thing, BYU hasn’t played the U in football, so the rivalry is reduced to this one game. Second, BYU was getting roasted by the U, so pride got involved. BYU has come under additional scrutiny this past year as we had a football brawl to end last year’s bowl, then had a football player appear to punch another player in the groin a few weeks ago, and had yet another football player appear to punch a guy on the other team this past week. Either this is a sign that BYU *really* wants a boxing program, or things need to get toned down a notch or five.

It’s sports. I get it. Tempers get heated. But the BYU/Utah games generally turn ugly off the field as well. I have family members who periodically break out in feuds over this sort of thing. It just isn’t worth it. (And this is speaking as a Yankee fan living in the middle of Red Sox nation. On a personal level, I have seen much, much more ugliness in the BYU/Utah rivalry than the Yankee/Red Sox one.)

So let’s just be done. Neither side “wins.” Neither side “loses.” I root for the U every time they play anyone but BYU. Why? Because I have family ties to the university, and I like seeing my family happy. These days, you read the comments of any article published on a BYU or Utah game in Utah, and the detractors of the other team show up in droves to make fun of their opponent and hurl all sorts of nonsense. People need to have something better to do with their lives.

That said, BYU is playing Utah again next year in football, so maybe this is all just a pipe dream. But a guy can always hope . . .

Go Cougars!

TV Show Recommendation: iZombie

Let’s get this out of the way right off: it’s got a horrible title. iZombie? It’s gag-worthy. I get what they were going for (I think): I, Zombie. iZombie. Current. Hip.

It doesn’t work at all, though. There’s no technology in the show. It’s not about Apple fan-zombies. It’s a million times better than whatever you think of when you hear the title.

How’s this for a summary? Veronica Mars went to college, got engaged, was living the dream. And then she got turned into a zombie. Not a mindless zombie. As long as she feeds on brains fairly regularly, she’s just fine. Sort of like a vampire getting his daily blood fix. And because she’s Veronica Mars, she decided to start working at a morgue, where she could eat brains without killing people. And those brains give her the ability of the humans they belonged to. Was it the brain of an artist? Then she becomes a passionate painter. That sort of thing. She also gets to see glimpses from their life, and use those glimpses to solve murders.

It’s fun, witty, and sleek. It’s also created by the same guy behind Veronica Mars, so it makes sense that they have the same sort of vibe to them.

I don’t really have too much to add, other than that I wanted to try and increase the visibility of this show. It’s worth your time, despite what the title may lead you to believe.

That is all.

The Wire 2:5 and 2:6

Sorry for skipping a week. Pesky national holidays and eating turkey. But I’m back this week, locked and loaded with another two episodes’ worth of analysis, including another favorite episode. Some big juicy stuff to discuss, so let’s go right into it.

Episode 2:5

Some of the most painful pieces of this rewatch so far have been having to suffer through Ziggy one more time. I mean, I feel sorry for him in some respects. He’s clearly a person who’s not suited to the hand that life dealt him at all. He’s incompetent in so many ways, from his silly jacket to his insistence that he can maneuver these streets with ease. But some people just need to have a clue, and Ziggy’s a prime example of this. He’s like a slow moving train headed straight for a cliff, and you know there’s going to be explosions and agony, and there’s just not a blessed thing you can do to stop it. Ziggy’s fate was wound up long before this seasons started, and all we can do is watch as he bumbles his way into agony, dragging others along with him.

Sigh.

But he’s also there to illustrate a point. Zig is to Nick as Avon is to The Greek. Zig can’t manage his drug contacts at all, and he’s steamrolled by people he needs to stand up to, if he could. It’s clear to us, after having seen Avon’s people handle it last season. But compare Avon’s crew to The Greek’s. Stringer likes to go to his college economics classes and come up with new ways of approaching the drug business, but The Greek is miles ahead of him. He’s got connections all over the place, and his fingers are in so many different pies, you lose count. And yet he continues to remain under the radar. Last season, people knew who Avon was on the streets, even if the cops didn’t know him. This season, The Greek takes that to the next level.

I love in the Wire how side characters become main characters, and how plot lines can go on from episode to episode, always remaining in the background. If you pay attention, you see it unfold. But you need to watch carefully. Cheese pops up for the first time here, and he seems like a throwaway character. But then he just keeps on popping up and evolves over the course of time.

It’s something that rewards repeat viewings, even if you have to put up with Zig to do it.

There’s not a whole ton of good that comes out of this episode. You’ve got the cops finally beginning to figure out what they need to do to tune into whatever’s going on at the docks. Beadie continues to show she’s a whole lot smarter than her pay grade. I loved seeing the cops investigate the white drug dealers, constrasting them to the ones they faced last season. And any time you have Omar in an episode, you’re almost guaranteed some good stuff. Great acting there.

This episode finally feels like the second season has its feet under it and is progressing nicely. 9/10

Episode 2:6

Man. This episode. D’Angelo has some of the best scenes in the show, since his character is the one to constantly question and try to find his way through this life he’s found himself in. So hard to see him finally piece things together, only to die because Stringer’s overly suspicious. Not quite as hard for me as Wallace’s death last season, but still rough. Then again, we never saw D’Angelo before season one began. Remember: that D’Angelo shot a man dead before we ever laid eyes on him. He’s a murderer who got off for his crime, and it’s important to keep that in mind.

Interestingly, D’Angelo himself points that out to us in this episode when he discusses the Great Gatsby. The past shapes us. You can’t escape it, no matter what your present may be. D’Angelo might have reformed a good deal since those early days, but it’s still part of who he is, and that inevitably comes back to get him in the end. (See any parallels between Greek tragedy and Greeks all of a sudden showing up in the series? Coincidence? I doubt it.) This is another plot that will be revisted time and time again throughout the show. The past is the present.

Poor D’Angelo.

And poor McNulty, for that matter. It seems like for a moment, he actually wanted to get his life back on track. Do the right thing. Give up on always having to push the envelope. It was very surprising when he tore up the picture of the prostitute. He was really putting this behind him. And then when he tries to do that, his ex-wife still doesn’t want him back. She pities him, but she knows better than to get together with him again. It’s another example of us only seeing a slice of his life. She’d seen the whole thing, and she’d probably seen this phase of McNulty before. So she stays away.

I loved seeing Sharlene show up in this episode, showing us that Lester’s private life is doing just fine and dandy. He’s a closed person on the show. We rarely see glimpses of what he does when he’s not at work. Apparently all is well.

Omar’s scenes were fantastic in this episode. Those court theatrics, and his way of convicting a man he knows is guilty, even if that man didn’t happen to commit this particular crime. Omar is Omar, and he gets his revenge.

Kima’s girlfriend Cheryl, however, has become nothing but annoying. I get that she doesn’t approve of Kima, but by not approving of that part of Kima, she’s tryng to force her girlfriend to be a different person. It’s an unrealistic expectation, and an unfair one at that. A sad, true-to-life depiction of a couple slowly falling out of love.

I could go on and on about this episode. It’s just flat out fantastic, but I don’t have the time, alas. Still it’s episodes like this that make the whole series hum. I just loved it. 10/10

And Ziggy burning the $100 bill after Nick went through all that trouble to get it for him? I don’t recall me loathing a character in quite the same way as I loathe Ziggy. I think some of it’s due to the things he ends up doing to Nick. How much better off would Nick be without Ziggy? But we get Prop Joe talking about how you’re stuck with family. Interesting that everyone recognizes this, regardless of what side of The Game they play on. Prez’s uncle, Prez himself, McNulty trying to get back with his family. It’s what makes Stringer’s betrayal of D’Angelo that much worse. Sure, he’s not family, but he represents family. Stringer is clearly breaking the rules with that kill.

 

Choosing the Right Christmas Tree

Denisa and I have used a fake tree for . . . pretty much our whole marriage? Can I admit that in Maine without getting lumberjacked in the middle of the night? We received a very nice one as a gift back when we were first married, and we’ve been using it ever since. It’s just seemed easier to go down to the basement and haul it out each year. But over the years, it’s gotten older and older. Strings of lights are harder to jury rig back to working order, and last year I never could get one strand to function.

15 years will do that to a thing.

So this year, we decided to go with a live tree. (Well, a “recently deceased” tree, at least.) And yesterday was the big day. We went out with some friends who showed us the ropes of selecting a live tree and cutting it down with a saw. Which doesn’t seem like it should be that difficult, but was still very nice to have some help in the process.

Of course, presented with about 1,000 more or less identical trees, I go into decision-lock mode, unable to make a final selection with anything resembling confidence. (Do the trees have user reviews I could check out, perhaps? Reliability ratings? What do those brown needles in that one spot mean? Is it good or bad to have pinecone residue? Maybe there’s a website on this that I could check . . .)

Really, if it weren’t for the fact that our friends were there (tree long since selected), staring in wonder that two grown adults could have so much trouble picking one single tree that would only wither and die over the course of a month anyway, I think I’d still be out there, wandering among the tree rows, trying to remember which of them all were my top 5 choices, and wondering where my children had scurried off to.

But peer pressure saved the day, and the selection was made at last. We had the tree shaker thingy shake all the tree bits off it, bagged it in that plastic stuff, and tied it to the roof of our car. Then came the exciting drive home (did we tie it down enough? Would that twine hold? If I braked fast enough, could I weaponize the tree?)

We usually put the tree in our living room, but it had all of MC’s toys in its spot, so I hauled all those toys and dumped them in my room in one big pile. (It was that sort of day.) And now the tree’s up and happily standing in our house. Better yet, I didn’t have to get the old tree out from the basement, which is usually a real pain in the back. So that’s nice.

It certainly smells better too.

All in all, a fun adventure for the day. I think we might do it again next year.