Nate Briggs's Blog - Posts Tagged "marxism"
Sunday Literary Life: May 28
I made it a point to write this story about what others have termed "upwardly mobile failure" because you so often see examples of it in corporate life.
Things like this are not supposed to happen in a pure meritocracy - but the strange success of people with no visible intelligence and no visible job skills is often explained by the Art and Science of Fawning.
So vital to Agree - vital to know When the Agree - How to Agree - and, most important, Who to agree with.
And no one more Agreeable than Bib Kornpest. She'll do anything to get ahead. Except do jobs well.
Fresh from her assignment in Amsterdam - where she "right sized" an office out of existence (driving an employee to suicide) is put in "cold storage" at a branch office in Winnipeg: where, as usual, she makes a memorable impression:
"... just about anyone would guess that Senior Management would have been pleased if Bib increased profitability in that distant office. But Bib didn’t know how to make money. Duncan had noticed that in his first year working for her. He'd once seen her holding a spreadsheet upside down.
"As far as building a successful team in a new place: she had no idea how to do that, either. No idea how build, or create, or supplement, or profit, or encourage, or nurture. No understanding of value, or loyalty, or affection. No concept how to add anything to the lives of others.
"Her most well-honed skill — the one she depended on more than any other — was taking things away. She was an excellent punisher. And often punished in mean and spiteful ways.
"Winnipeg had been highly profitable under its previous manager...but Bib turned all that upside down. Old contracts expired. New contracts dried up. Winnipeg started taking on water, and — since there was little real work to do — staff had extra time to make up clever nicknames for a boss they came to loathe.
"Less Than Zero referred to how supply cupboards quickly went bare. Employees had to bring their own pencils, laptops, and toilet paper — and there were no software upgrades for two years.
"Miss Fun Pants started appearing after all staff travel (except hers) was denied forever — and all office parties cancelled before they happened. All coffee machines were ripped out, and the vending machines in the breakroom taken away....
"Once the Canadian winter got into full swing, new hand-lettered signs started appearing around the cubicles: 'Gulag 224'. The number referred to the street address of the building — and the rest of the reference more or less explained itself. Staff admitted that they weren’t being worked as hard as they would be in Siberia. But the climate was roughly the same. Thermostats in the office were set for 65F, and most everyone wore gloves indoors."
Things like this are not supposed to happen in a pure meritocracy - but the strange success of people with no visible intelligence and no visible job skills is often explained by the Art and Science of Fawning.
So vital to Agree - vital to know When the Agree - How to Agree - and, most important, Who to agree with.
And no one more Agreeable than Bib Kornpest. She'll do anything to get ahead. Except do jobs well.
Fresh from her assignment in Amsterdam - where she "right sized" an office out of existence (driving an employee to suicide) is put in "cold storage" at a branch office in Winnipeg: where, as usual, she makes a memorable impression:
"... just about anyone would guess that Senior Management would have been pleased if Bib increased profitability in that distant office. But Bib didn’t know how to make money. Duncan had noticed that in his first year working for her. He'd once seen her holding a spreadsheet upside down.
"As far as building a successful team in a new place: she had no idea how to do that, either. No idea how build, or create, or supplement, or profit, or encourage, or nurture. No understanding of value, or loyalty, or affection. No concept how to add anything to the lives of others.
"Her most well-honed skill — the one she depended on more than any other — was taking things away. She was an excellent punisher. And often punished in mean and spiteful ways.
"Winnipeg had been highly profitable under its previous manager...but Bib turned all that upside down. Old contracts expired. New contracts dried up. Winnipeg started taking on water, and — since there was little real work to do — staff had extra time to make up clever nicknames for a boss they came to loathe.
"Less Than Zero referred to how supply cupboards quickly went bare. Employees had to bring their own pencils, laptops, and toilet paper — and there were no software upgrades for two years.
"Miss Fun Pants started appearing after all staff travel (except hers) was denied forever — and all office parties cancelled before they happened. All coffee machines were ripped out, and the vending machines in the breakroom taken away....
"Once the Canadian winter got into full swing, new hand-lettered signs started appearing around the cubicles: 'Gulag 224'. The number referred to the street address of the building — and the rest of the reference more or less explained itself. Staff admitted that they weren’t being worked as hard as they would be in Siberia. But the climate was roughly the same. Thermostats in the office were set for 65F, and most everyone wore gloves indoors."
