Katherine Wela Bogen's Blog
October 6, 2025
Numbers Updates - three months and one week out
Traditional publishing didn't get Queering Him to where it is - y'all have.
100 ratings, 80+ written reviews (GR and NetGalley), 500+ ARC requests, and 5000+ GoodReads giveaway requests THREE FULL MONTHS AWAY from book release? I cannot thank you angels enough. You are helping put my scrappy little self-pub debut on the map. You are helping me carve space for literary fiction that is also deeply explicit and erotic, AND LGBTQIA+ romance that takes itself seriously as a grappling space. You are holding many difficult questions: when does perceiving oneself as a "queer elder" lead to unethical behavior? When are queer characters allowed to behave badly? When they behave badly, how do we allow them to grow? What does atonement look like? Is atonement possible?
For this cognitive/literary flexibility, and for so much more, I am grateful.
You can still request an ARC on NetGalley in return for an honest review across platforms (we work on the honor system over here)! There will be future giveaways, even of signed copies! There will be a book tour! TWO book tours (US and Europe, so far). And thank goodness for that - because I want to meet you all!
Many thanks from the very *depths of my soul* to everyone who has given Avra and Kieran a chance. I cannot express what it means to me that you've allowed this very bisexual narrative to impact you, however it has.
100 ratings, 80+ written reviews (GR and NetGalley), 500+ ARC requests, and 5000+ GoodReads giveaway requests THREE FULL MONTHS AWAY from book release? I cannot thank you angels enough. You are helping put my scrappy little self-pub debut on the map. You are helping me carve space for literary fiction that is also deeply explicit and erotic, AND LGBTQIA+ romance that takes itself seriously as a grappling space. You are holding many difficult questions: when does perceiving oneself as a "queer elder" lead to unethical behavior? When are queer characters allowed to behave badly? When they behave badly, how do we allow them to grow? What does atonement look like? Is atonement possible?
For this cognitive/literary flexibility, and for so much more, I am grateful.
You can still request an ARC on NetGalley in return for an honest review across platforms (we work on the honor system over here)! There will be future giveaways, even of signed copies! There will be a book tour! TWO book tours (US and Europe, so far). And thank goodness for that - because I want to meet you all!
Many thanks from the very *depths of my soul* to everyone who has given Avra and Kieran a chance. I cannot express what it means to me that you've allowed this very bisexual narrative to impact you, however it has.
October 3, 2025
Craft Development
I started writing my first book in October of 2022. I finished the draft in about 8 months, sent it to beta readers, revised, sent it to agents, landed one, did multiple rounds of edits, and began to understand the "work" of writing. I was learning about craft. I was learning to *be* crafty. I was getting feedback from people who knew so much more about this world than I did. They still do. There's still everything to learn.
Since October of 2022, I have written over 1500 PAGES of fiction.
I'm now working on my fourth book.
It is a bizarre sort of self-conscious bittersweetness to know that the writer your readers are encountering is *no longer you*. It is strange and unsettling to understand that your earliest readers are simply not getting the best of your metaphor, your character development, your pace, your plot, your politics. I will never write a book like Queering Him again, because I don't write like the person who splattered Queering Him out onto a page. I'm a better craftsperson now. I'm nimbler. I'm more honest. I'm less frightened. I'm infinitely more reader-aware.
Sometimes, I'm embarrassed. I want to thrust sections of Book Four under readers' noses and go: NO! LOOK! SEE! ***THIS*** IS WHAT I CAN DO! I'M CAPABLE OF MORE! I'VE GROWN! I'VE CHANGED! But that is a fool's wish. It's needlessly self-loathing. It's grotesquely self-defeating. Book 1 is being lovingly received, why would I dimish it? No artist's first work is their masterpiece. I would deeply and sincerely hope that each subsequent book would showcase my sharpened skill. I would earnestly and dearly wish that readers would expect more of me, and better, and brighter still, as I grow into my new identity as (and I'm twisting my hair into coy little curls as I say this), "a writer."
Just know I'm holding this uncomfy duality. I'm proud of Book 1, I love Avra and Kieran, Queering Him is my first and most precious baby. I birthed it. I grew it in my body and pushed it out of me. AND, for real, you should meet its little siblings.
Since October of 2022, I have written over 1500 PAGES of fiction.
I'm now working on my fourth book.
It is a bizarre sort of self-conscious bittersweetness to know that the writer your readers are encountering is *no longer you*. It is strange and unsettling to understand that your earliest readers are simply not getting the best of your metaphor, your character development, your pace, your plot, your politics. I will never write a book like Queering Him again, because I don't write like the person who splattered Queering Him out onto a page. I'm a better craftsperson now. I'm nimbler. I'm more honest. I'm less frightened. I'm infinitely more reader-aware.
Sometimes, I'm embarrassed. I want to thrust sections of Book Four under readers' noses and go: NO! LOOK! SEE! ***THIS*** IS WHAT I CAN DO! I'M CAPABLE OF MORE! I'VE GROWN! I'VE CHANGED! But that is a fool's wish. It's needlessly self-loathing. It's grotesquely self-defeating. Book 1 is being lovingly received, why would I dimish it? No artist's first work is their masterpiece. I would deeply and sincerely hope that each subsequent book would showcase my sharpened skill. I would earnestly and dearly wish that readers would expect more of me, and better, and brighter still, as I grow into my new identity as (and I'm twisting my hair into coy little curls as I say this), "a writer."
Just know I'm holding this uncomfy duality. I'm proud of Book 1, I love Avra and Kieran, Queering Him is my first and most precious baby. I birthed it. I grew it in my body and pushed it out of me. AND, for real, you should meet its little siblings.
October 2, 2025
Self-Publishing after Trad Rejection
I told myself I'd write a blog post if my first GoodReads giveaway crossed the 4K requests threshold, because that's what the internet defined as "Big 5 Break-Out Debut" territory. I wanted to see if I could get there. In particular, I wanted to see if I could get there after the bright and shiny world of traditional publishing rejected me *thirty six entire times*.
I'm still not sure why they did that.
My rejections were gentle and generous, even kind. Editors called the book sexy, cerebral, and propulsive. They told me the characters were alive, believable, relatable, and complex. They praised the voice, used words like "intellect" and "humor" and "heat." They called me talented, lauded my craft as electric and urgent. Then, nobody bought it.
I waited and wondered and nobody bought it.
I talked to my agents and nobody bought it.
We all scratched our heads, because nobody bought it.
Deciding to move forward with self-publishing after receiving a slew of letters telling me, "I'm sorry, we don't see an audience for this," or, "I'm sorry, we aren't sure how to market it," was an exercise in radical hope. I had to trust my agents, my characters, my craft, my own roaring, shuddering instinct that readers could AND WOULD find and love this work. I had to carve a hefty chunk out of my savings account to pay for the process of self-publishing (money I would not have had without winning a sizeable legal settlement in a big big bummer of a lawsuit when I was 25, but that's a sad story for another, more particular time). I had to insist to my very academic, very high-achieving, very concerned family that, yes, this book could do well even after thirty six rejections and yes, it was worth the risk and yes, it was worth the cost and yes, I was certain.
It scared the f*ck out of me. I did it anyway.
I've felt for months like I've been standing before a wave - a big blue furious wall of a wave, churning and splashing toward me, and waiting for this precocious tsunami to hit. I've had this gut stir, this chaotic internal tilt going, "Just be patient, girl. Just give it a second. It's going to happen. It's going to sweep you away."
To all of my ARC babes, to all of my early reviewers, to all of the folks who have responded to Avra and Kieran with such enthusiasm, to all of the people who have put this book on their shelves, on their lists, or signed up for giveaways, or sent me DMs going, "I wish I had it nowwwwww": I cannot fully express my gratitude or my awe. I cannot tell you what it means to have that instict validated by readers (in particular, bisexual and queer readers) who are seeing themselves in these pages, THREE AND A HALF MONTHS before release.
This blog will be a confessional place. I'll share details about my writing process. I'll share information about future projects, and mini spoilers. I'll divulge my personal inspirations. I'll toss out anecdotes. I will try to keep this as human and grounded as my other platforms (Instagram: @k.w.bogen, @k.w.bogen_books; Threads: @k.w.bogen; TikTok: @sexualityscholar; Podcast: @SuperHumanizer).
Big love and many thanks to all of you.
I'm still not sure why they did that.
My rejections were gentle and generous, even kind. Editors called the book sexy, cerebral, and propulsive. They told me the characters were alive, believable, relatable, and complex. They praised the voice, used words like "intellect" and "humor" and "heat." They called me talented, lauded my craft as electric and urgent. Then, nobody bought it.
I waited and wondered and nobody bought it.
I talked to my agents and nobody bought it.
We all scratched our heads, because nobody bought it.
Deciding to move forward with self-publishing after receiving a slew of letters telling me, "I'm sorry, we don't see an audience for this," or, "I'm sorry, we aren't sure how to market it," was an exercise in radical hope. I had to trust my agents, my characters, my craft, my own roaring, shuddering instinct that readers could AND WOULD find and love this work. I had to carve a hefty chunk out of my savings account to pay for the process of self-publishing (money I would not have had without winning a sizeable legal settlement in a big big bummer of a lawsuit when I was 25, but that's a sad story for another, more particular time). I had to insist to my very academic, very high-achieving, very concerned family that, yes, this book could do well even after thirty six rejections and yes, it was worth the risk and yes, it was worth the cost and yes, I was certain.
It scared the f*ck out of me. I did it anyway.
I've felt for months like I've been standing before a wave - a big blue furious wall of a wave, churning and splashing toward me, and waiting for this precocious tsunami to hit. I've had this gut stir, this chaotic internal tilt going, "Just be patient, girl. Just give it a second. It's going to happen. It's going to sweep you away."
To all of my ARC babes, to all of my early reviewers, to all of the folks who have responded to Avra and Kieran with such enthusiasm, to all of the people who have put this book on their shelves, on their lists, or signed up for giveaways, or sent me DMs going, "I wish I had it nowwwwww": I cannot fully express my gratitude or my awe. I cannot tell you what it means to have that instict validated by readers (in particular, bisexual and queer readers) who are seeing themselves in these pages, THREE AND A HALF MONTHS before release.
This blog will be a confessional place. I'll share details about my writing process. I'll share information about future projects, and mini spoilers. I'll divulge my personal inspirations. I'll toss out anecdotes. I will try to keep this as human and grounded as my other platforms (Instagram: @k.w.bogen, @k.w.bogen_books; Threads: @k.w.bogen; TikTok: @sexualityscholar; Podcast: @SuperHumanizer).
Big love and many thanks to all of you.
