Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 135
June 30, 2014
Ask Uncle John Anything: Let it Shiner
Uncle John knows pretty much everything—and if he doesn’t, he heads his massive research library, or puts one of his many associates on the case. So go ahead: In the comments below, ask Uncle John anything. (And if we answer your question sometime, we’ll send you a free book!)
Does putting a steak on a black eye really help? If so, why?
Have you ever gotten a black eye, or a “shiner”? (If you have, sorry.) Did you or your mom put a cold, floppy steak on it to make the swelling go down? It’s one of those old folk remedies everybody knows about, and you see in movies and on TV shows, but does it really work? Or is it just a waste of a perfectly good—and quite expensive—ribeye?
A black eye or periorbital hematoma occurs when a minor, blunt trauma to the eye area causes blood to gather around the eye socket, which is otherwise mostly empty. As it fills in with blood, pigment is released, too, which colors the skin around the eye, like a bruise. The bruise hurts a little, but not as much as the swelling.
While putting a steak on it isn’t any kind of “official” remedy, nor has it been studied extensively, it’s believed that the steak draws out the accumulation of fluid. That, in turn, reduces the swelling associated with the black eye. Besides, if the steak is cold (do not use a warm steak hot off the grill, obviously, even one cooked rare!) it works like a soothing, cold compress that can bend to fit the shape of your face. One other element: As the steak slowly decomposes at room temperature, it releases protease, which may break up clots and hurry up the healing process.
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June 25, 2014
Impossible Questions: Un-Magic Kingdom Edition
Think you know the answer to this question? Think you can get it? Good luck…and come back tomorrow to see if you’re right.
What ended forever in Disney World on December 29, 1974?
Want more impossible questions? Check out Uncle John’s Impossible Questions.
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June 24, 2014
Football Stadium Fun Facts
The football season doesn’t begin for a while, but here’s a look at the massive concrete-and-steel behemoths where the magic happens.
Green Bay is the smallest city to have an NFL team. The population of the city: about 105,000. Its stadium, Lambeau Field, has the fourth-largest capacity in the NFL—80,978. That means about 77 percent of the entire population of Green Bay could fit inside Lambeau Field.Vatican City, Nauru, Tuvalu, Palau, and San Marino are the five least populous independent nations on Earth. They have a combined population of 75,656. There are 22 stadiums for college football teams in the U.S. that could each hold more people than that.
The largest stadium in college football: Michigan Stadium, in Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan. It seats 109,901. That’s roughly the population of Fargo, North Dakota. The smallest stadium in major college football: the Kibbie Dome in Moscow, Idaho. The University of Idaho plays to just 16,000 fans there.
Los Angeles is the largest city in the U.S. without an NFL team—the Raiders and Rams left for Oakland and St. Louis, respectively, in 1995. There are still four stadiums in the area big enough to support a pro football team: Angel Stadium (45,050), Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum (93,507), Dodger Stadium (56,000) and the Rose Bowl (92,542). And yet if a team moves to L.A.…somebody will still spend billions to build a new facility. Rams owner Stan Kroenke is reportedly considering a move back to L.A., and he owns a 60-acre plot of land there.
Two teams in the NFL share a stadium. The New York Giants and the New York Jets both play at MetLife Stadium…which isn’t even in New York City, or New York state. It’s in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
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Uncle John’s Extremely Tough Movie Quote Quiz
Sure, you know that “We’re not in Kansas anymore” is from The Wizard of Oz, or that “Welcome to Earth!” is from Independence Day. But can you name the movie that spawned the obscure lines of dialogue below? (Answers at the end of the post.)
1. “Play ‘Misty’ for me.”
2. “Nobody’s ever escaped Stalag 17.”
3. “I am Spartacus!”
4. “We have to go back…to the future!”
5. “Hello. My name’s Forrest. Forrest Gump.”
6. “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.”
7. “Welcome to Jurassic Park.”
8. “She’s my Rushmore, Max.”
9. “Let’s free Willy!”
10. “We’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!”
11. “Mama, I’m gonna be the black swan!”
12. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
13. “Dead man walking!
14. “Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World. Party time, excellent!”
15. “The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.”
16. “Sincerely, the Breakfast Club.”
17. “I guess some like it hot.”
18. “I’m Batman!”
Answers:
Play Misty for Me (1971)
Stalag 17 (1953)
Spartacus (1960)
Back to the Future (1985)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Chinatown (1974)
Jurassic Park (1993)
Rushmore (1998)
Free Willy (1993)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Black Swan (2010)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Dead Man Walking (1995)
Wayne World (1992)
Fight Club (1999)
The Breakfast Club (1984)
Some Like it Hot (1959)
Batman (1989)
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June 23, 2014
4 Words Popularized By Pop Songs
English is a constantly changing language, with new words entering the lexicon from other cultures, the news, science…and even music.
Word: Bling
Meaning: Expensive, attention-getting jewelry, or any flashy accouterments.
Origin: “Bling” is an example of onomatopoeia—a word made from the sound of something. In this case, “bling” sounds like the “ding” made by shiny objects in TV commercials. It’s now a very common slang word, and its widespread use comes directly from the 1999 song “Bling Bling” by rapper B.G.
Word: Frenemy
Meaning: A portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy,” it refers to that person in your social circle to which you are civil…but whom you also barely conceal your mutual hatred.
Origin: A journalist named Jessica Mitford tossed off the word in an article in the 1970s, but it wasn’t widely used until 1998. That’s when pop band New Radicals used it in its hit, “You Get What You Give.” It was further popularized when a 2000 episode of Sex and the City mentioned the word to describe the concept of friends who are really rivals.
Word: Izzle
Meaning: A nonsense addition to a word.
Origin: “Izzle” has long been a signature speech additive from rapper Snoop Dogg. He even had a sketch comedy show on MTV in 2003 called Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. Rappers love wordplay—it’s their job—but Snoop Dogg didn’t actually come up with “izzle.” Linguists trace its use back to inner-city street criminals in the 1970s. It was still an esoteric concept (the technical term for a middle-of-the-word addition is called an infix) until funk singer Frankie Smith made use of it in his 1981 song “Double Dutch Bus.”
Word: Bootlicious
Meaning: A portmanteau of “booty” (as in the rear end) and “delicious,” it refers to an attractively curvy female figure.
Origin: Snoop Dogg did create this word. In 1992, he rapped a verse on Dr. Dre’s hit “Dre Day,” in which he describes another rapper’s rhymes as “quite bootylicious.” But that just meant “good.” Bootylicious didn’t take on its more familiar meaning until 2001—from the Destiny’s Child hit “Bootylicious.”
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Ask Uncle John Anything: A Dog Tail
Uncle John knows pretty much everything—and if he doesn’t, he heads his massive research library, or puts one of his many associates on the case. So go ahead: In the comments below, ask Uncle John anything. (And if we answer your question sometime, we’ll send you a free book!) This week’s question comes from reader Renee B., who asks…
Why do dogs wag their tails when they’re excited?
It’s a form of communication dating back thousands of years to when dogs were wild pack animals. Various kinds of tail wags, along with postures and vocalizations, formed an ad hoc language dogs could use to “talk” to each other. Over the centuries, the tail became the dominant communicative force of dogs—it’s flexible, visible, and versatile.
A dog uses its tail to express a lot of emotions, not just happiness or excitement. Think of all the different ways humans can smile: there’s one for genuine happiness, a polite grin, a sarcastic wince, etc. The way a dog wags its tail can also share information about where they see themselves in the “pack”—a dominant or aggressive dog may only wag the tip of their tail when excited, letting you know that they’re happy, but also that they’re nobody’s fool. On the other side, a tail held low and wagging means the dog is showing fear, or letting you know that they’re submissive. (Middle height wag? That means relaxed.)
Speed of movement and height all contribute to the tail’s vocabulary and grammar, if you will, making a tail wag the way dogs use to communicate primarily and most importantly with each other—a dog’s eyes are more sensitive to movement than they are colors, physical details, or facial expressions.
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June 18, 2014
Seattle’s Superheroes Must Die(t)
Firstly, the Emerald City has a band of superheroes that fight crime around the city. Secondly…several of them apparently need to lose some weight.
For the better part of the last decade, Seattle man Ben Fodor has patrolled the means streets of his city dressed as a costumed vigilante named “Phoenix Jones.” He’s also the leader and founder of The Rain City Superhero Movement, a group of Seattleites who, inspired by Fodor/Phoenix, defend truth, justice, and the American Way.
But Fodor and his colleagues, who also wear “super suits” and have aliases like “Omega” and “The Mantis,” aren’t a bunch of ComicCon cosplayers. They fight real crime. Over the years, they’ve prevented muggings, carjackings, assaults, and in 2011, a costumed superhero even stopped a guy who was trying to hijack a city bus.
Unfortunately, Fodor recently decided to pull the plug on his super squad. In May, he posted a message on Facebook saying that the whole thing had gotten out of hand. In addition to problems with local police enforcement and several members not following the rules, Fodor said that several of his co-heroes were just too dang tubby to legitimately run down criminals.
Fodor, who also competes in mixed martial arts tournaments under yet another pseudonym, “Fear the Flattop,” has since given the RCSM a reboot with the help of four other heroes. He’s not totally opposed to allowing old members to join the new squad but they must meet certain physical requirements. New recruits have to prove that they can complete five pull-ups and 25 sit-ups in two minutes.
“I’m going to go out there with the most equipped, most protected, smartest team with the best tactical decisions I can, regardless of what that costs me personally,” Fodor told Seattle’s KING 5 News.
The superhero does have a point. Fighting crime is serious business and he’s endured several injuries since he first put on his mask. He’s had his nose broken and was stabbed while breaking up a drug deal. Fodor was also shot while on patrol in Tacoma. Fortunately, he was wearing a bulletproof vest at the time.
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June 17, 2014
And the Award For Most Awards Goes To…
At the recent 68th Annual Tony Awards, one of the recipients set a new Tonys Record. Here’s what she did, along with some other award-show record holders.
Broadway star Audra McDonald won her sixth Tony Award this year. That’s the most Tony Awards ever for a performer, and McDonald broke a three-way tie she’d held with five-time winners Angela Lansbury and Julie Harris (not counting a lifetime achievement award). More than that, McDonald is the first Broadway star to complete a Tonys acting “sweep”—she’s the only actor or actress to ever win a Tony in all four acting categories:
Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play for Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill; Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play for A Raising in the Sun and Master Class; Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical for Ragtime and Carousel; and Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for Porgy and Bess.
A record 31 Grammy Awards have been claimed by…Sir George Solti. Who? Well, he’s a European conductor that ran the Chicago Symphony Orchestra from the ’60s to the ’90s and in doing so rang up a lot of wins in the classical categories. (More familiar record holders: producer Quincy Jones has won 27 Grammys, and bluegrass star Alison Krauss also has 27.)
Katharine Hepburn was awarded four Oscars for acting (all four in the leading actress category), but the all time top Oscar winner: Walt Disney. He took home 22, primarily for directing and producing short cartoons and live-action films that once aired before feature films. (He probably would have won a few for Best Animated Feature…except that that award wasn’t created until 2001, three decades after Disney died.) In 1954, Disney picked up four Oscars in one night, for Best Documentary Feature, Best Documentary Short Subject, Best Short Cartoon, and Best Short Subject.
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Mmmm…Conspiracy Theories
Does The Simpsons know more about geopolitical affairs than they’re letting on? Here’s a look at the “evidence.”
The 9/11 Conspiracy
Some claim that The Simpsons “predicted” the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. In a 1997 episode, The Simpsons take a trip to New York City. Prior to their departure, Lisa holds up a bus ad from a newspaper. It features the words “New York, $9” atop a picture of the World Trade Center. According to the conspiracy’s proponents, the combination of the number and the Twin Towers prophetically spells out “9/11.”
The Illuminati Conspiracy
The minds behind this one claim that The Simpsons’ production team is somehow affiliated with the organization that’s been blamed for numerous events over the course of human history. According to them, every single episode of the series contains a reference to the Illuminati. While we’re not about to double-check all 550-plus episodes of The Simpsons, some contain at least a few weird symbols that support their claims. In a 1995 episode, Homer joins a mysterious, Illuminati-esque club called The Stonecutters; in a 1994 episode, a bunch of dolls in a toy shop can be spotted wearing some very odd Masonic hats.
The Syrian Conspiracy
In the spring of 2014, an Egyptian TV news segment claimed that The Simpsons helped spark the Syrian Civil War. According to the journalists, the conflict was the result of a secret conspiracy orchestrated by the Fox Network, the U.S. government and the RAND Corporation. They based their claims on a 2001 episode with a scene that pokes fun at military recruitment videos. In it, a group of soldiers are magically turned into bikini babes while standing next to a jeep that bears the same flag as the Syrian opposition. If the news segment is to be believed, this somehow proves that The Simpsons kickstarted the war…not to mention an episode from 1995 in which Homer complains that Lisa won’t let him watch Fox because “they own weapon plants in Syria.”
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June 16, 2014
The Fall of Colossus
It’s the end of an era. Colossus, one of the world’s most famous roller coasters, is about to bite the dust.
This jumbo-sized landmark has been thrilling guests at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California, for more than 35 years. Colossus first opened to the public on June 29th, 1978 after its construction was delayed by a storm that tore down part of the ride. At the time of its construction, it was both the fastest and talent roller coaster on the planet. It was also set apart even further from other roller coasters because it had two sets of tracks that allowed carts to run alongside one another, simultaneously serving more guests while also terrifying them.
In the years that followed, the coaster was modified a few times to accommodate increasingly restrictive safety regulations. During the Halloween season, it was also tweaked in order to allow the carts on one of its tracks to run backwards past a gigantic plastic spider.
Unfortunately, times have changed. Back in the ‘70s, a wooden roller coaster with a 125 foot peak that could reach speeds of up to 62 mph was considered cutting edge. These days, Colossus is practically considered a dinosaur, especially in comparison to faster, taller, more death-defying roller coasters across the park at Magic Mountain. Colossus is scheduled to stop running on August 16th to make way for new rides.
Even if you’ve never ridden Colossus, you’ve probably seen it in a movie or TV show. Most notably, it served as “The Screemy Meemy” in National Lampoon’s Vacation. At the conclusion of the 1983 comedy, the Griswold family forces their way into the closed “Wally World” theme park at gun point and rides the coaster with a park employee played by John Candy, who can barely keep from throwing up for the duration of the ride.
The roller coaster had cameos in Knight Rider, Wonder Woman, The A-Team, and Doogie Howser, M.D and served as a backdrop for fight scenes in the TV movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park. It was also included in the opening credits of Step By Step, a sitcom that aired on ABC and CBS in the ‘90s.
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