Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 130

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Hello Kitty (But Were Afraid to Ask)

You’ve probably heard by now the bizarre news that Hello Kitty isn’t, you know, a kitty. Here’s a look at the “scandal,” and some more interesting stuff about the cartoon character.

Anthropologist Christine R. Yano recently made a somewhat shocking discovery while she was curating an exhibit about Hello Kitty at Los Angeles’ Japanese American National Museum. Unbeknownst to her and millions of others, Hello Kitty isn’t actually a cat. She was informed of the error by some representatives from Sanrio, the company that owns the character. But HK isn’t quite human either. Sanrio says she’s akin to Mickey Mouse, an anthropomorphized cartoon with a vaguely biological makeup. Oddly enough, Hello Kitty has a pet cat that looks almost exactly like her named Charmmy Kitty.


Here’s a brief version of the character’s somewhat complicated backstory. Hello Kitty was born in 1974, which means she turns 40 this year…or she would if she wasn’t “stuck in time” as a third grader. She’s British and lives outside of London. Her real name is Kitty White and her parents are George and Mary White. Hello Kitty also has a twin sister and her birthday is November 1, which makes her a Scorpio.


Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth. According to Sanrio, it’s because “[She] speaks from her heart. She’s Sanrio’s ambassador to the world and isn’t bound to any particular language.”


In addition to countless products, there’s a Hello Kitty-themed restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan. The country also has a Hello Kitty maternity hospital.


In honor of the character’s 40th birthday, one of EVA Air’s passenger jets will been retrofitted with a Hello Kitty theme. The “Hand-in-Hand’ jet includes a Hello Kitty mural on the exterior and special HK cabin features and service items.


Hello Kitty has appeared in several cartoon shows but none of them are as crazy as this one. The Hub Network’s KISS x Hello Kitty will feature “four characters living their rock ‘n’ roll dreams [by] bringing pink anarchy to every situation they are in.” KISS bassist Gene Simmons will serve as an executive producer.

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In the Beginning: Two Early Drafts of Famous Stories

A lot can change between the first draft and the final product.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

A “long lost” chapter from the classic children’s novel recently appeared in The Guardian. It was accompanied by a lengthy article about author Roald Dahl and a rundown on his even crazier original version. In one of his earliest drafts, Charlie was accompanied by four additional ill-fated kids while he toured Willy Wonka’s very dangerous factory. A girl named Miranda Grope succumbed to the temptations of the chocolate river in this version, while two naughty boys were whisked away to the rather terrifyingly named “Pounding and Cutting Room.” Another detail Dahl altered: the Oompa Loompas were originally normal factory workers. He made them more interesting after his agent suggested that they should be “something more surprising.”

Star Wars

In the spring of 1973, director George Lucas sat down to cobble together a story synopsis for what would eventually become one of the greatest blockbusters of all time. In this version, Luke Skywalker is a battle-hardened general living in the 33rd century instead of a farm boy. He’s assigned to protect a princess and their adventures lead them to a “starport” called Gordon while they evade Imperial soldiers and other bad guys. This version features a space fortress along the lines of the Death Star and “laser swords.” Han Solo pops up in a draft about a year later but he’s a slimy, lizard-like alien called a Ureallian instead of a dashing intergalactic smuggler. Additional character include a Jedi named Kane Starkiller and his son Annikin. The plot is far more complicated than what eventually wound up on the silver screen. It incorporates stuff that appeared in later Star Wars movies like clones, carbonite chambers and head-scratching galactic politics. Nevertheless, this nutty version is currently in the process of being adapted into a comic book series by Dark Horse Comics.

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The Topography of Tears

The reasons for crying can be different. But do the different emotions that lead to tears make those tears look different, too?

Micro-photographer Rose-Lynn Fisher is best known for her book Bee, a compilation of photographs of bees magnified anywhere from 10 times to 500 times. Among the remarkable things Fisher captured: that bees’ eyes are hexagonal, just like a honeycomb.

In 2013, she followed up hyper-magnified images of bees with hyper-magnified images of something even tinier and mysterious than the bee: human tears. It’s called The Topography of Tears.

The Topography of Tears

Fisher began the project in 2008, during a time when she was she was crying a lot due to lots of life changes and she had “a surplus of raw material.” She simply wondered one day what a tear looked like (very) up close. So, she caught one of her own tears on a slide, let it dry out, and then looked at it under a common microscope. She told Smithsonian that it looked like she was “looking down at a landscape from a plane.” That got her wondering if different tears looked different, say, like a tear a grief versus a tear of happiness, or even an onion tear.

Over the next few years, she collected and photographed microscopically blown-up tears of more than 100 people, including herself and a baby. Amazingly, they all look vastly different. Onion tears resemble snowflakes. Grief tears look like an aerial view of a sparsely developed city. Basal tears, the eye’s basic lubricating substance, look like tree branches.

See more at Fisher’s website.

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Fake-or-Fact Friday: Giraffe Laughs Edition

Here are three very strange news reports involving giraffes. Two are real, but one is fake. Can you guess which one we made up? The answer is at the end of the post.

A.

Claiming that she “loves giraffes,” a California woman visiting the Madison Zoo in Wisconsin crawled into the facility’s giraffe enclosure. There, she encountered a relatively young and small giraffe—two years old and only 12 feet tall. The giraffe ate grass out of the woman’s hand, and then sweetly licked her face. Then, not so sweetly, it kicked her in the face. Adding injury to injury, the woman was fined $700 for trespassing.

B.

Wildlife Safari is a zoo in Oregon in which patrons drive through open areas where animals live, hoping for a close-up glimpse of nature, or even for an animal to approach their car. A family took their three-year-old son to the park specifically to see his favorite animal: giraffes. But by the time the family research the zoo, the boy was asleep, and he was still asleep when a giraffe approached the car and popped its head through the sunroof, from which it tenderly removed the boy from the car. Not buckled into his seat, the toddler was wearing giraffe-print pajamas with a giraffe-head hood pulled over his head. (He was safely recovered minutes later.)

C.

During the World Cup game between the USA and Ghana this summer, an American airline sent out a tweet when Clint Dempsey got a goal, pushing the score to USA 2, Ghana 1. The tweet showed a picture of a “2” superimposed over the Statue of Liberty (for the USA) and a “1” over a photo of a giraffe on a plain to represent Ghana. Here’s the thing: there are no giraffes in Ghana. After dozens of response pointing out the airliner’s ignorance of African and animals, somebody figured out that the giraffe photo was a stock image taken at an animal reserve in Kenya…3,000 miles away from Ghana.

Want more things that sound true…but aren’t? Then check out Uncle John’s Fake Facts. (Really!)

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(Almost) One Night Only: Bands That Played Lived Extremely Rarely

In 1966, the Beatles decided to quit touring and playing live in favor of crafting intricate albums in the studio. They’d played hundreds of concerts by then—way more than these other bands that probably won’t be coming to your town anytime soon.

Polaris recently announced that it would be playing a mini-tour of nine dates on the East Coast this fall. Who is Polaris? Formed by Mark Mulcahy of the ‘90s alternative rock band Miracle Legion, Polaris is Miracle Legion minus one member, and the band formed expressly for the purpose of recording the music for the 1993 to 1995 Nickelodeon cult comedy The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Polaris has played live exactly once, for a charity concert in 2012.

The Traveling Wilburys are among the most popular “supergroups” of all time. Its members included Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne of ELO, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan, and George Harrison. Their 1988 album went triple-platinum and produced two top-10 hits. Ironically, however, the Traveling Wilburys…never traveled. The group of seasoned performers never went on tour.

The Buggles are best known for “Video Killed the Radio Star,” the video of which was the first thing ever played on MTV in 1981. The Buggles had just two members, Trevor Horn and Geoff Downes, both of whom joined the band Yes in 1980, meaning the Buggles were over and done before they ever played live. The Buggles finally played live in 2004—they performed “Video Killed the Radio Star” and that was it. (The duo played a full live gig in August 2010 for a charity concert.)

After leaving Pink Floyd in 1968, Syd Barrett performed a concert, accompanied by his former bandmate David Gilmour on bass. It was Barrett’s first—and last—gig, before he went into semi-seclusion for more than 30 years, up until his death in 2006.

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3 Ways to Hack Your Coffee

As the temperatures start dropping and the stresses of the season start to rise, you’re going to need all the energy you can get. When the line at Starbucks is too long and a cup of Folgers just isn’t going to do the trick, keep these handy-dandy coffee hacks at the ready.

Bulletproof Coffee

Dave Asprey of the productivity website Bulletproof Executive says he was inspired to create this drink after downing a cup of tea mixed with yak butter while hiking through Tibet. After years of “careful research,” he revealed his technique—more or combining two cups of coffee with at least two teaspoons of unsalted butter, one or two teaspoons of medium-chain triglycerides oil into a blender and mixing. Asprey claims that numerous high-profile athletes and executives drink Bulletproof Coffee instead of breakfast because it gives them a “powerful boost” and plenty of healthy antioxidants. Critics remain skeptical.

Just add salt

It might sound strange but some people claim that if you add a pinch of salt to your coffee it will improve the taste dramatically. Some swear by tossing some onto the top of their beans before putting them in a coffee maker ,while others prefer to mix it in directly into their morning cup of joe. As with many desserts, supposedly the salt both heightens flavor and creates contrast. It also may eliminate coffee’s traditionally bitter taste.

Frozen coffee cubes

Just because it’s autumn that doesn’t mean that the weather is going to coincide with the date on the calendar. If the temperature in your neck of the woods makes it feel like you’re closer to the Fourth of July than Halloween, you’ll probably prefer an iced coffee over a piping hot pumpkin spiced latte. If you want to give your frosty eye-opener an extra boost, make some frozen coffee cubes the night prior. The recipe is simple: just brew some coffee, wait for it to cool, and pour it into an ice cube tray. Then add the coffee cubes to your iced coffee when you’re looking for a caffeine kick that won’t water down your brew like ordinary ice.

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The Amazing Tale of the North Pond Hermit

Who was breaking into homes in a small town in northern Maine. Teenagers? Animals?

For decades, the residents of this small town in Maine lived in fear. Someone, or something, was breaking into their homes to steal random food and supplies.  New locks and alarms were installed but nothing seemed to hold them, or it, at bay.

The mysterious culprit became the stuff of legend. The locals began assuming that a recluse living in a nearby forest was probably responsible. They nicknamed him “The North Pond Hermit” and some folks left notes for him on their front doors, asking him not to break into their homes, but to instead leave a list of things he needed, which they would leave out for him. They never received a reply.

The identity of the hermit remained a mystery until the night of April 4th, 2013. A local police sergeant named Terry Hughes can become obsessed with putting an end to the robberies, and when a motion detector sounded an alarm in the kitchen of a nearby summer camp, Hughes raced to the scene. There he found Christopher Thomas Knight trying to flee with a backpack full of candy. Hughes arrested Knight and interrogated him. Knight claimed that he had been living in the woods for years. How long? Knight wasn’t sure, but he did think that he’d gone native sometime around the Chernobyl nuclear disaster.

Knight explained that, in 1986, at the age of 20, he decided to give up on society and live in a tent in the woods outside of North Pond. In the years that followed, he routinely broke into buildings around town to steal whatever he needed to survive. In all that time, he said that he had only briefly spoken to a single human being, a hiker he once encountered in the forest. On the night of his arrest, he spent the night in a nearby jail, the first time he had slept indoors since the mid-’80s.

According to one claim, Knight committed over 1,000 burglaries during his 27 years of isolation. He was sentenced to seven months in prison in October of 2013 and has since struggled to readjust to life in the modern world.

Here is an in-depth look at his life.

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4 Memorable Cartoon Potties

Even cartoon characters have to use the bathroom every now and then. Of course, when they do, they use really bizarre ones.

Patton’s Toilet

Hank Hill spent a lot of King of the Hill dealing with Cotton, his cantankerous father. When Cotton dies in a 2009 episode, Hank mist fulfill his father’s list of crazy final wishes, including having his cremains flushed down a toilet once owned by World War II general George S. Patton. Hank and his friends eventually manage to track down the toilet and fulfill Cotton¹s unusual request. Wish granted.

O.T.: The Outside Toilet

In a 2013 episode of Fox’s Bob Burgers, Gene, the hapless middle Belcher child, discovers a high-tech, futuristic toilet in the woods near his home, that apparently fell off a truck. He befriends the HAL-like toilet, which talks (with a voice provided by Mad Men’s Jon Hamm), and he keeps it supplied, or fed, with plenty of bottled water. When Gene learns that a mysterious “toilet hunter” is determined to take away his newfound buddy, he teams up with his sisters and a few friends to keep it safe, all in a toilet-centric parody of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial.

The Toilet Safety Administration

In a 2012 episode of South Park, an organization called the Toilet Safety Administration (or TSA) enacts a series of excessive regulations on every commode in America after a fatal accident leads to the death of a character. The new rules force everyone on the show to use safety harnesses while on the toilet and even install security cameras in their bathrooms. The episode culminates in the spectral appearance by the ghost of John Harrington, inventor of the flush toilet, who tells everyone they’ve been using their toilets wrong.

The Clockwise Toilet

In the 1994 The Simpsons episode “Bart vs. Australia,” the family visits Australia. At the American Embassy, Homer discovers a sophisticated toilet capable of reversing the Coriolis Effect, the misconception that says that water in toilets in the Southern Hemisphere flush counter-clockwise, unlike in the Northern Hemisphere). Physics must work differently in the fictional world of The Simpsons, though. After watching the toilet in action, Homer sings “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” while wiping a tear from his eye.

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Fact-or-Fake Friday: Horrifying Stadium Food

Here are three reports on some strange foods showing up in stadiums across the country. Two of them are real-life, viable alternatives to peanuts and hot dogs. One of them we simply made up. Can you guess which one is the fake? Answer is at the end of the post.

A.

Poutine is a classic Canadian—and deeply unhealthy—food item. It traditionally consists of french fries, topped with brown gravy, and cheese curds (and maybe bacon or more cheese). But what if that poutine emigrated to the U.S., and sold at a ballpark, and was made with, of all things, fruit? Then you’ve have Caramel Apple Fries. Currently available at AT&T Park for San Francisco Giants games, the healthier concession consists of green apples cut into thin, fries-like strips, then topped with thick gravy-like caramel sauce, and instead of cheese curds, chopped peanuts. (Okay, so it’s not that much healthier than poutine.)

B.

The Minnesota Twins got off to a rough start this season and never quite got out of the cellar—they’re currently in last place in the American League’s Central Division. After Twins manager Ron Gardenhire remarked to a reporter than the season was “in the toilet,” vendors at Target Field humorously began selling an item called “The Toilet Bowl.” It’s a ceramic coffee mug, shaped like a toilet, filled with soft-served chocolate ice cream.

C.

Debuting at Lambeau Field this fall for Green Bay Packers games is a concoction called The Horse Collar. Two extra-long kielbasas are placed in an extra-wide bun (which is more like a loaf). It’s then topped with oozy beer cheese sauce, onions, and fried sauerkraut. All that sausage and cheese is certainly representative of Wisconsin, but there’s something off about The Horse Collar. It’s served with the two ends meeting each other, making the entree more closely resemble a toilet seat (which will probably be pretty familiar to anyone who actually eats this thing by themselves).

Want more fake facts? Then check out Uncle John’s Fake Facts. (Really!)

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3 Unusual Online Schools

College is a drag, what with the high tuition, lack of a job after graduation, and the roommates who are really into jam bands. Why go through all that when you can go to school over the Internet?

Hogwarts is Here

The finest school of witchcraft and wizardry has previously been off-limits to anyone who wasn’t a wizard by birth, English…and fictional. The awkwardly titled Hogwarts is Here is a fan-organized—and tuition-free—virtual academy devoted to the world of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. Organizers’ goal is to “create the magical experience that we as fans have all been looking for since we finished the last book.” HIH’s reportedly 20,000 “students” may enroll in nine-week classes straight out of the Harry Potter books, including Charms and Herbology. (Just like in the books, spots in Defense Against the Dark Arts fill up fast.) The school even offers fun extracurriculars, like shopping at a virtual Flourish and Blotts and writing articles for an online edition of The Daily Owl.

American Taxidermy Online

Have you ever wanted to learn how to stuff dead animals but without all the trouble of leaving your home? American Taxidermy Online is just one of several (!) virtual schools that will help you do just that. The American Institute of Taxidermy, founded in 1978, opened up an online branch in 2008. It offers nine difference courses that cover species ranging from deer to raccoons. The seven-hour virtual classes take place every Saturday. Getting study materials (animal carcasses) is up to the student, who to earn their certificates of completion, must send in photos of their completed mounts.

International Ghost Hunters Society

Why settle for a degree in Political Science when you can become a full-fledged ghostbuster? The International Ghost Hunters Society offers a series of home study courses that will teach you just about everything you need to know about dealing with pesky spirits. The faculty claims that a combined 30 years of experience “relating to the study of ghosts, death, and life after death.” Students can become “certified” Ghost Researchers, Paranormal Investigators and/or EVP Researchers.

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