Emily Kinney's Blog - Posts Tagged "fame"
"I just wanna be famous."
That's from an Eminem song, off of the Recovery album. When he says it, it's with heavy irony and almost mockery. And in some ways I don't blame him. I love Eminem; I'm a huge fan, and I know his story really well, so I understand that he was astonished when fame snatched him up and never released him. And his fame wasn't little. It was huge, and mighty, and overpowering. How am I supposed to judge him for being a little resentful? After all, there ARE a lot of down sides to fame.
But . . . still. It's all I've thought about all my life. Being enough of a big deal to be wanted on talk shows and making appearances in music videos, and announcing winners at awards shows. All those fun things, all of which is basically doing stuff and keeping busy. I'm not obsessed with the idea of people throwing free things at me, or being mobbed by screaming admirers, or being hounded by desperate men with cameras. No, I have never lent my thoughts to any of those aspects. Never.
It's just that . . . when trying to be successful, it's only logical that fame would help. The idea behind marketing, as I have been thoroughly informed of of late, is that it can be the most amazing product in the world, but if no one knows it's there, then no one will buy it. It's all about knowledge, intrigue, want, ect.
Sometimes I feel really selfish and full of myself when I think about wanting to be famous, which is a lot. Other times it feels like an enormous weight is lifting out of my ribcage. People are always griping that everyone wants to be famous, but do they? Do they know what fame means and do they want that for dumb reasons or good ones? I'd like to pride myself for wanting it for all the right reasons. So I can go out and do. So I can be active and productive and make something of my life. I want to fulfill my potential, and the only way for that to happen is to do, and the only was to do, is for people to want you to. In essence, fame.
Only so many people get famous, though. Only a small, lucky percentage get launched from oblivion into the spotlight, and even fewer manage to stay there. I know I have what it takes; all the requirements. I just have to keep pushing, and to maintain the energy needed to do so. There are so many artists that I look up to that did just that and finally did blow up. Em certainly is one. I look at his life and what he went through, I know I'm spoiled beyond belief. When you want something hard enough, you just have to go for it . . . again and again and again until something clicks. I really want that click to happen soon, or simply to happen at all. My worst fear is that I've come this far only to have things fizzle out. Eeesh, makes me shudder.
But, then again, I didn't even have to get this far. I know I'm here because of God's grace and blessings, so I just have to be patient and trusting for the next step. Just gotta keep praying. Although, how can you justify praying for fame? I wonder all the time. But, it's what I want. I can't lie, not to God. He knows anyway; He knows my heart and my reasoning. I have asked Him to be in charge of my life, and that means doing what He wants me to do. I don't know if that means fame or not. To be blatant, I hope so. I want to Do. Heck, I want to meet Eminem and tell him that he's a hero of mine.
I'm watching West Side Story as I type this. And I'm smiling. It's my favorite movie of all time, and who knows how many times I've watched it. Who cares. It gets better each time. Whenever I see things like it, I'm reminded of what I'm fighting for.
Until next time, thank you for reading and hopefully liking. I wish you a lovely night, or day, depending on where you are. :)
But . . . still. It's all I've thought about all my life. Being enough of a big deal to be wanted on talk shows and making appearances in music videos, and announcing winners at awards shows. All those fun things, all of which is basically doing stuff and keeping busy. I'm not obsessed with the idea of people throwing free things at me, or being mobbed by screaming admirers, or being hounded by desperate men with cameras. No, I have never lent my thoughts to any of those aspects. Never.
It's just that . . . when trying to be successful, it's only logical that fame would help. The idea behind marketing, as I have been thoroughly informed of of late, is that it can be the most amazing product in the world, but if no one knows it's there, then no one will buy it. It's all about knowledge, intrigue, want, ect.
Sometimes I feel really selfish and full of myself when I think about wanting to be famous, which is a lot. Other times it feels like an enormous weight is lifting out of my ribcage. People are always griping that everyone wants to be famous, but do they? Do they know what fame means and do they want that for dumb reasons or good ones? I'd like to pride myself for wanting it for all the right reasons. So I can go out and do. So I can be active and productive and make something of my life. I want to fulfill my potential, and the only way for that to happen is to do, and the only was to do, is for people to want you to. In essence, fame.
Only so many people get famous, though. Only a small, lucky percentage get launched from oblivion into the spotlight, and even fewer manage to stay there. I know I have what it takes; all the requirements. I just have to keep pushing, and to maintain the energy needed to do so. There are so many artists that I look up to that did just that and finally did blow up. Em certainly is one. I look at his life and what he went through, I know I'm spoiled beyond belief. When you want something hard enough, you just have to go for it . . . again and again and again until something clicks. I really want that click to happen soon, or simply to happen at all. My worst fear is that I've come this far only to have things fizzle out. Eeesh, makes me shudder.
But, then again, I didn't even have to get this far. I know I'm here because of God's grace and blessings, so I just have to be patient and trusting for the next step. Just gotta keep praying. Although, how can you justify praying for fame? I wonder all the time. But, it's what I want. I can't lie, not to God. He knows anyway; He knows my heart and my reasoning. I have asked Him to be in charge of my life, and that means doing what He wants me to do. I don't know if that means fame or not. To be blatant, I hope so. I want to Do. Heck, I want to meet Eminem and tell him that he's a hero of mine.
I'm watching West Side Story as I type this. And I'm smiling. It's my favorite movie of all time, and who knows how many times I've watched it. Who cares. It gets better each time. Whenever I see things like it, I'm reminded of what I'm fighting for.
Until next time, thank you for reading and hopefully liking. I wish you a lovely night, or day, depending on where you are. :)
