Emily Kinney's Blog - Posts Tagged "better-days"
Euphoria
For the last month and a half, I have been thoroughly stressed out, yet exceptionally focused. Apparently they go hand in hand. However, my emotions were far from soaring. I was either moderately blah, or swathed in tears. If I did encounter happiness, it just didn't seem to strike me at the core. I felt it, certainly, but not its pure essence. It was almost as if I only KNEW I was happy instead of feeling it flood my limbs and heart.
I was actually starting to worry for a minute. This is a bit of an admition, but I'm addicted to happiness. I've felt happiness in full-on, undiluted, sunshine-in-every-cell-of-your-body kind of way many times in my life. Much in the past year. It's amazing; down right intoxicating. And I think that the worries and stresses of May and June were blocking this sort of happiness's way in.
But, I'm pleased to report, that seems to be good and over for now. Yes, there are still worries and stresses, but they are now being counter-balanced by an awesomeness that just won't quit. And this particular awesomeness is also fueling my desire to refocus on my dream. If you're emotionally drained in any way, you're naturally instinct is that you just don't want to deal with any of 'it' right now. That it could be anything.
However, if you are emotionally rejuvenated, then the world doesn't look so dang bleak and scary. You feel mighty enough to take on and conquer anything that might be thrown at you or stealthily shoved in your way. Yes, tomorrow is a reception ceremony in New York that I have every right to be at, but can't be, and yes that sucks, but it's still all good. When one door closes, another one opens; even if its a door at the very back, that you never knew was there because boxes are usually stacked in front of it. You just have to look. The minute you stop searching, stop scanning the horizen and the sides of the road and start staring down at your feet, all you'll ever see is your feet.
So I type this in a state of euphoria. Why? you might ask. Well, why did Maria sing "I feel pretty?" If you know that, then you know why I feel euthoric right now. How long will it last? Hopefully a very long time. Who's to say?
The point is that these ups and downs happen, but you can't let them drag you down into the mire. You have to stay on your feet, even if your tired or it's painful, and keep going. Keep praying and hoping and keeping one eye wide for a door or window or even a peep hole to spring open out of nowhere. The dream is still far from fulfilled, but that doesn't mean I haven't gotten anywhere, and I should be proud of what I have managed to accomplish. That's another thing; eventually we stop giving ourselves credit for already completed accomplishments. It's okay to look back and relish in all the hard work we've put in and the outcomes it's generated. It blosters us and encourages us to go further.
So, whoever might be reading this, if anyone is, please remember to allow euphoria into your life. There's nothing else quite like it.
I was actually starting to worry for a minute. This is a bit of an admition, but I'm addicted to happiness. I've felt happiness in full-on, undiluted, sunshine-in-every-cell-of-your-body kind of way many times in my life. Much in the past year. It's amazing; down right intoxicating. And I think that the worries and stresses of May and June were blocking this sort of happiness's way in.
But, I'm pleased to report, that seems to be good and over for now. Yes, there are still worries and stresses, but they are now being counter-balanced by an awesomeness that just won't quit. And this particular awesomeness is also fueling my desire to refocus on my dream. If you're emotionally drained in any way, you're naturally instinct is that you just don't want to deal with any of 'it' right now. That it could be anything.
However, if you are emotionally rejuvenated, then the world doesn't look so dang bleak and scary. You feel mighty enough to take on and conquer anything that might be thrown at you or stealthily shoved in your way. Yes, tomorrow is a reception ceremony in New York that I have every right to be at, but can't be, and yes that sucks, but it's still all good. When one door closes, another one opens; even if its a door at the very back, that you never knew was there because boxes are usually stacked in front of it. You just have to look. The minute you stop searching, stop scanning the horizen and the sides of the road and start staring down at your feet, all you'll ever see is your feet.
So I type this in a state of euphoria. Why? you might ask. Well, why did Maria sing "I feel pretty?" If you know that, then you know why I feel euthoric right now. How long will it last? Hopefully a very long time. Who's to say?
The point is that these ups and downs happen, but you can't let them drag you down into the mire. You have to stay on your feet, even if your tired or it's painful, and keep going. Keep praying and hoping and keeping one eye wide for a door or window or even a peep hole to spring open out of nowhere. The dream is still far from fulfilled, but that doesn't mean I haven't gotten anywhere, and I should be proud of what I have managed to accomplish. That's another thing; eventually we stop giving ourselves credit for already completed accomplishments. It's okay to look back and relish in all the hard work we've put in and the outcomes it's generated. It blosters us and encourages us to go further.
So, whoever might be reading this, if anyone is, please remember to allow euphoria into your life. There's nothing else quite like it.
