Conrad Zero's Blog: Conradzero.com, page 6

Z.B.C. – Trouble With Green Eyes

What is Z.B.C.?

Z.B.C. is an acronym for the musical conspiracy that concocted an electronic-pop-song called Trouble With Green Eyes:

The song is “pay what you want” and that includes $0. The license is CC BY-NC-ND 3.0, which means you can download and share it freely, but no remixes, no commercial use, and you have to attribute Z.B.C. as the original artist. We can go into the social, legal and ethical implications of offering art up for no cost in another blog post. For now, just rejoice at the simplicity and convenience of internet distribution, and the laziness of our accounting department.

So listen to the track now, before we decide to charge for it. Then brag to all your hipster friends that you heard about Z.B.C. way before they did.

Z.B.C. F.A.Q. L.O.L. W.T.F. B.B.Q.

No, there is no Z.B.C. website.
No, we won’t be playing live.
Yes, there may be more Z.B.C. songs in the future.

What Happened To Jagged Spiral?

Reply Hazy. Ask Again Later.

But Z.B.C. Doesn’t Sound Anything Like Jagged Spiral!

Please rephrase in the form of a question.

And then please answer yourself in the form of a snarky insult.

How Is Z.B.C. Connected To Naked Pictures Of Flo The Progressive Insurance Girl?

Funny you should ask. Let’s see… I recorded Bass and Vocals for the song, and B.C. did pretty much Everything Else… And while I was taking a break from mixing, I pinned a naked pic of Flo on pinterest.

Pretty straightforward really.

What Happens When You Mix Rum, Sleep Deprivation, Google Image Search And Your First Time Using Windows Movie Maker?

 



 

Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Mystery Writers Police Academy – 7 Sept 2013

Four crime scene specialists give authors valuable insider info in this one-day workshop.

What do these four people have in common?

A Bloomington MN Police officer
A Retired FBI agent
A Licensed Private Investigator
A BCA Forensic Scientist

They will all be presenting at this year’s Mystery Writers Police Academy on 7 Sept 2013. Topics will include crime scene investigation, first responders, fingerprinting techniques, and… well, more things than Dan Brown could fit in a novel.

This sounds like a great opportunity to feed your inner writer all kinds of great ideas to make your thriller novel more realistic.

The 9AM to 4PM workshop includes coffee, lunch and snacks for $89.

Download Details Here (pdf)

Click here for website with more info, directions and registration info - http://artescapesmn.com/mystery_writers_police_academy

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

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Neil Gaiman Live!

Neil Gaiman has been a writing inspiration to me for years. But he isn’t just a good writer. He’s smart. He’s humble. He’s well-spoken. He is grateful and respectful to his audience.

And he wears black.

He’s become more than just a writing inspiration for me. He’s someone to look up to in many different ways. I gave Neil Gaiman the Ubercool Seal Of Approval back in 2007, so you can imagine my excitement when…

I met Neil Gaiman for the first time today.

As a resident of Minnesota, there really isn’t much excuse for taking so long to cross this off my list. Neil Gaiman lived here for a while. He might still live here. At least I think he has a house here. Whatever the case, he visits Minnesota often. So if you live in Minnesota and haven’t seen Neil Gaiman, then you simply aren’t trying.

Well, today I tried, and succeeded. Neil Gaiman stopped here as part of his North American Book Signing Tour for his latest bestseller, The Ocean at the End of the Lane. 

I waited for literally hours with two fangirl friends, Jess and Katy. We listened to Neil talk about how The Ocean at the End of the Lane came about, and he read a few pages of that, as well as an upcoming adventure story that disproves the commonly held belief that Dads can’t have adventures too. He answered some questions, and was completely squeeable.

Then we waited for more hours, making our way through the line until we each had our 30 seconds of ‘Neil Gaiman Time.’

Warning – ‘Neil Gaiman Time’ is extremely relative.

Jess was first, and put it this way: “How do I express 20 years of admiration in 30 seconds without going to jail?” To which Neil Gaiman replied, “Would you like a hug?”

Like I said, well-spoken.

Katy went next, and time began to blur (almost as badly as my camera pix) before I even got my turn.

So during 30-seconds-that-seemed-more-like-3-seconds, while Neil Gaiman signed a copy of the book for me, I handed him one of my business cards with a story title written on the back. And I’m pretty sure this is what I said:

“There is a story you should read, it’s similar to your ‘Dad-Adventure’ story. It’s called Pinky the Invisible Flying Pony vs the Giant, Carnivorous, Poisonous, Exploding Spider-Leeches. I’m sure you’ll like it. And not just because I wrote it.”

For the record, I did not go down to the signing with the intention of turning it into an elevator marketing pitch. It was all because of his Dad-Adventure story reading. That story was so silly and abstract, it made me think he might actually like my story, because it’s silly and abstract too.

And while the fangirls were swooning, they completely forgot to take pix of me talking with Neil Gaiman. Ah well.

Sadly, Neil said he won’t likely be doing another Book Signing tour, although he may do reading tours and such. I’m not surprised. He’s so famous now, he doesn’t really have to do that if he doesn’t want to. So I consider myself lucky to have met him before he’s beyond the reach of mere mortals.

Hey Neil, sorry I became a totally starstruck fanboy. And I don’t really expect you to read my story. But I hope you do. I bet you’d like it.

Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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The Art Of Charitable Interpretation

The Power Of Low Compels You…
…using a slow, minimalist drone.

Low’s Rock the Garden Show A Little Too Low For Some

The fans and critics loving/hating on Low’s extended drone interpretation of ‘Do You Know How To Waltz?’ have been hard to ignore. Listen for yourself, then ask yourself how you’d feel if you went out to the Rock The Garden concert at the Walker Art Museum and paid $55 to get in.

Despite the message from the band, “Drone, Not Drones,” the reaction at the performance was mostly negative, and devolved online into a social media pissing contest. Twitter accounts broke out for and against the performance. Radio station 99.3 The Current (sponsors of the event) raised the question What Does A Band Owe Us When We Pay To See Them Perform? The comments/responses made the exact same sound as Low’s performance – a vaguely annoying drone:

Old fan…never heard ‘em before…loved it…hated it…taking chances…ruined a great opportunity…

The Envelope And How To Push It

Try to remember that this is an over 20-year old experimental-rock band playing an Art Museum. I could imagine so much worse:

The White Stripes played a One Note Tour, in which they’d set up in public, sound check and all, and play one single note.
The Replacements played Hello Dolly repeatedly until people left the venue.
Type-O Negative recorded several minutes of silence and called it “The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences” (from their 1991 album, Slow, Deep and Hard)

Low’s half hour of drone doesn’t even come close. People who say that Low didn’t actually play can shut straight up. Go listen to some Coil, then come back and apologize for your musical incompetence.

Some Low supporters turned the argument around, pointing out Minnesota crowds intolerance for ‘real art.’ Since Minneapolis made 4th place on America’s Top 10 Snobbiest Cities I guess that’s a possibility. Perhaps if the crowd were told that some social-media-gatekeeper gave Low a seal of approval before they started playing? Perhaps if Low had included some sugar-pop-rock in their set, they could have proven their musical competence while still showing their avant-guard sensibility?

Maybe they shouldn’t have to.

Experimental Artist + Charitably Interpretive Audience = ???

Lightsey Darst sums it up well. Artists should be disappointing sometimes.

I agree.

Artists (especially prolific ones like Low) push the envelope through the formula of trial-and-error. If all bands kept churning out the same album for decades (cough AC-DC cough) musical innovation would stagnate. Dubstep wouldn’t be invented for millennia, if ever. The world of music would be as utterly boring and predictable as KQ92.

Thank goodness for artists who are not afraid to continually experiment and “reinvent themselves.” I’m not talking about silly antics like the ones listed above, I’m talking about real artistic innovation. My hat’s off to Tom Loftus, who beat me to the punch on my first two choices of artists who are not afraid of change: Bob Mould (who also played at the same Rock the Garden concert as Low) and Neil Young.

But if you wanna make an omelette, you gotta break some eggs. When artists push the envelope they will hit friction, resistance, and, inevitably, art that doesn’t agree with everyone. Ask Neil Young, who’s had as many number one hits as he has “experiments gone awry.” But like Neil Young, they also hit on great stuff. They spawn entire artistic movements. The Next Big Thing.

It’s easy to write off artwork as talentless bullshit. Doing this is also, ironically, talentless bullshit. My philosophy of ethics instructor, Professor Valerie Tiberius, used to say we need to give works a “charitable interpretation.” If you don’t, then you lose out on the possibility of discovering something. Possibly something amazing. To get the most out of art, you have to put yourself in the role of the creator, and assume that they had a legitimate intention.

I give Low the benefit of the doubt. They aren’t new. They had a legitimate intention. They were trying to do something interesting and different. Maybe people who didn’t like the show could fill in the blanks and imagine what they were trying to accomplish. Maybe some people aren’t able to do this.

More likely, they just don’t want to.

Charitable interpretation takes work. And sometimes people show up at the gig and just wanna drink cheap beer and dance to fun pop songs that they already know.

Which makes me wonder more about the role of the audience than the role of the artist. So, try this on for size:

What does an audience owe to us when we share our art with them?

Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Take Control Of Your Creative-Time With The Power Of ‘No’

Use One Super-Powered Magic Syllable To Control Time

Dreamhaven Books in Minneapolis is not a big bookstore. But whenever I’m there, I see dozens of books I want to read. Hundreds.

I’m sure Greg, the owner of Dreamhaven, would love for me to buy the entire Lovecraft section all at once, but I know that’s not a good idea. It takes some willpower, but I’ve learned to limit myself to buy no more than I can read between visits. Um, more or less.

When you look at all the books available, even at a small bookstore like Dreamhaven, and many more titles coming out every day, you’ll realize that it’s impossible to read them all, even if you had several lifetimes to devote to full-time reading.

You only have so much reading-time. So you have to choose.

No one wants to choose, but ironically, you have no choice about it. And it’s not just reading time that’s limited. Every waking moment, you have to choose what piece of the world gets your attention. Looking at it from the “time is money” perspective:

You only have so much life-time, so you have to choose what you will spend your life on.

Like walking around in Dreamhaven Books, there are lots of glorious things in the world vying for your time. Friends. Family. Books. Movies. Video Games. Concerts. Social Media. This blog post. And if you say “Yes” to all the things… well, you really can’t.

You have to choose.

The Value of Creative-Time

This is a larger issue for ‘creatives’ – people who generate some kind of art. Regardless of whether they do it for their 9 to 5, or just in the wee hours after the rest of the family has gone to sleep, they only have so much ‘creative-time’ and every minute spent Not creating is… a minute spent Not creating.

If time is gold, then creative-time is diamond, dipped in platinum and wrapped in bacon.

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The Power Of “No” (In Theory)

Thankfully, some really creative and negative person invented the word “No” which I translate as, “Not That Right Now.”

No is a powerful tool. No controls time. No can be used to determine what things you will focus on and what you will not. Creative people can use No to get more done. Kevin Ashton says it gloriously in his blog post:

“No guards time, the thread from which we weave our creations.”

-Kevin Ashton Creative People Say No

On average, I give myself at least two hours of creative-time every day. Which made me wonder why I don’t get more accomplished.

But when I looked back on how I spent my creative-time, I realized that I haven’t been spending much of it actually creating. Website updates. Social media. Networking. Writer’s groups. Blog posts like this one… These things are great, but they are not progress towards any kind of writing goal.

Ironically what made me realize all this in the first place was a book. (Read during my ‘creative-time’ natch.)

Manage Your Day-To-Day, from Jocelyn K. Glei at 99U.com. The best lesson I learned from this book is that I should actually stop reading books like this and start writing.

The Power of “No” (In Practice)

“Inspiration is for amateurs – the rest of us just show up and get to work.”

-Chuck Close (link)

I approach my creative-time differently now. I don’t think about what ‘writerly’ things I’m inspired to do today. Instead, I think of how much closer I can get to completion on a particular story. What I’m going to do is predetermined before I even put butt-in-chair and hands-on-keyboard.

Now, my creative-time is a precious resource that shouldn’t be squandered, instead of a luxury I deserve after a hard day’s work. This gets me to focus on why I’m there in the first place, and say No to the things that don’t belong in that creative-time-space. Like Melanie Pinola points out, No is the button that keeps us on.

I still have play-time. Movies. Video Games. New restaurants with old friends. And I still read books on how to write better. But my creative-time is for creating.

Yes, I’ve been saying No to things.

Social media was the first thing to get expelled from my creative-time. Ignoring it for a couple hours while I write has not been difficult, nor has it resulted in any adverse effects.

I said No to the Fourth Street Fantasy convention this year. Instead, I used that weekend of allocated creative-time to finish off a major project I’d been working on. Oh, and I saved $100.

And I didn’t stop there. I’m using this super-power to control other times as well. Because my play-time, reading-time, social-time, exercise-time  and sleep-time are all important to me as well.

This process isn’t always easy. The world doesn’t always like the word “no” and will give you friction for using it. But keep this in mind:

When you say “Yes” to something, you’re also saying “No” to EVERYTHING ELSE.

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Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Voltage 2013

After a hiatus, Voltage: Fashion Amplified returned to First Avenue, Minneapolis. The combo of up-and-coming local bands crossed with up-and-coming local fashion designers was the brainchild of Minneapolis fashion maven, Anna Lee. While Anna is no longer involved with this project, the fashion committee she gave birth to, MNFashion.org, hopes to carry on the 8th installment in the tradition of runway fashion show crossed with a rock concert.

Bands (dressed by designers) perform live while runway models prowl the catwalk wearing fashions by other designers. This cross-pollination of artforms should appeal to many: People who want to sample local music, those who want to sample local fashion, and those who simply enjoy interesting artistic events.

I’ve attended all but one of the Voltage concerts since 2005, and I can tell you attendance was surprisingly low from the last show. Easily half as many people attended. Too long between shows? Lack of promotion? A spring Saturday overflowing with graduations, weddings and fishing contests? Or is the concept wearing off? Hard to say, but I was happy NOT to have to fight my way through the rude crowd that made the last Voltage show feel like it was held at the Fine Line.

Fashion

Diversity was lacking at this Voltage, with the bands being slightly more diverse than the overwhelmingly-white-female-twenty-something designers. Check out the lookbook here for the list of designers and bands: http://mnfashion.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Voltage_2013_Lookbook.pdf The hardcopy of the lookbook was high quality and very well done.

There were no male models, and no male designers at this year’s Voltage.

I’m not a design-guy, but the designs themselves seemed more safe (read: bland) than previous years. Nothing caused a burst of photo-flashes or “oohs” and “aahs” from the crowd. In fact, there were a lot of things I can imagine people actually wearing. Perhaps Voltage is changing from a venue of “art on parade” into one that actually shows fashions someone might actually purchase. Like I said, I’m no fashionista, but the previous Voltage shows took some brave chances with things that even Bjork would think twice about wearing. The fashions at this Voltage seemed much more limited in range.

There was a bit of a storefront off to the side with some works by the designers, and a Voltage-Approved Lipstick created by the Elixery.

Bands

Bomba de Luz at Voltage 2013

Bomba de Luz

My personal favorite from the show, Bomba de Luz is chock-full of folk, jazz, rock, soul, more jazz, and maybe a dash of funk, but mostly energetic and atmospheric songs that make you wanna learn the words so you can sing along in the car. Official Website

Aby Wolf

A collaboration of female vocalist Aby Wolf and the ever-present, omni-talented Grant Cutler was a nice diversion. Aby Wolf’s hyper-reverbed vocals bordered on the etherealness of Cocteau Twins. Cutler’s backstage button-pushing was tasteful and wisely did not overrun Aby’s voice. Bandcamp

The Chalice

With more than a nod to Salt-n-Pepa, (and a song called Push It) The Chalice is also a female-rap-trio packed full of fun party energy. Bandcamp

Sean Anonymous

If Weird Al’s nephew and Eminem’s niece had offspring, it might look and sound like Sean Anonymous. Infectious, contagious, and fun hip hop. Any hip-hop band that can get me to bob on the dancefloor gets my vote. Official website. Facebook.

Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Dark Fiction Review – Northwoods Deep by Joel Arnold

Review Disclaimer

A few disclaimers about this review before I get started:

I know Joel Arnold personally. He is a fellow member of the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writer’s Group.
I purchased Northwoods Deep from Joel directly.
I do not owe Joel money from an old gambling debt involving Jagermeister, a Trampoline and a Super-Soaker. No matter what he says.
I was not compensated for this review. (But I do get some love if you follow my links to Amazon, which helps offset my webhosting fees and various addictions which may involve Jagermeister, Trampolines, and Super-Soakers…)

File Under Horror

With that out of the way, I can tell you it’s been a while since I’ve read real Horror like this. It was refreshing to read something that was not chilling, dark, or edgy, but actually horrifying.

If Twilight read Northwoods Deep, it would die of fright.

Cabin-in-the-woods stories seem to have faded in popularity over the years. Even Jason Voorhees eventually left his cabin and traveled to outer space. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of room here to play. Joss Whedon’s The Cabin In The Woods is one example. Joel Arnold’s Northwoods Deep is another.

Carol and Brenda Gunderson embark on a canoe trip on the Mesaba River. When their canoe capsizes, they discover a cabin in the woods occupied by an old man hiding a terrible secret. Based on a mix of Native American folklore and the Grimm Brother’s Hansel & Gretel, Northwoods Deep will take you on a wild ride over the river and through the woods, straight into terror. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11805438-northwoods-deep?ac=1

The cover shows a close-up of a cabin window, and inside is a pile of human skulls that must be at least waist-deep. Far from just symbolic, it is actually pretty close to the truth. Consider it accurate foreshadowing. Rustic setting. Cabin in the woods. Lots of bones…

Northwoods Deep is an all-you-can-read buffet of horror: Bugs, dead bodies, spousal abuse, murder, rape, bestiality, torture, bondage, stalking, alcoholism, ghosts, nightmares, dark family secrets, and my personal least-favorite, the claustrophobic feeling of being buried alive…

But the underlying supernatural horror is the cherry on top of the horror sundae called Northwoods Deep. I won’t give too much away by saying that if you aren’t digging the start of the book, hang in there. Like Stephen King’s writings, Northwoods Deep slides slowly from a real-world scenario into a supernatural horror-fest.

Joel’s writing is clean and crisp. He delivers just the right level of detail. He knows how much to show, and just as importantly, what to leave out. This is crucial for good horror stories. The author has to leave enough space for your mind to fill in the blanks, and this is done well in Northwoods Deep.

Pacing is smooth for the most part. Joel doesn’t let you rest for long before unleashing some new horror on you, or showing you things from a different and more horrifying perspective. As you would expect, the ending of the book becomes a page-turner as the plotlines come together to climax. The epilogue gives one of the characters a disturbing resolution, but otherwise, there was no ante-climax.  I would have liked to see how the surviving characters had changed (or not) after their ordeal. Perhaps in the sequel…?

Joel’s description is very good, especially when describing locations. I’m extremely familiar with cabins, camping, and canoeing in Northern Minnesota where most of Northwoods Deep takes place. So I can vouch that Joel paints an accurate picture of the setting. He brings out elements of the area that most people would take for granted. I know the setting will be interesting for those who’ve never left the city.

Characters are good, although I wish the protagonist Carol was tougher. She puts up a half-hearted front and makes a couple brave decisions, but in the end I felt she was a weak hero, constantly fretting and relying too much on others to bail her out of trouble. Then again, I generally enjoy reading about Kick Ass Heroines, so others might find the character more real and easy to relate with.

The evil in Northwoods Deep is scattered at first. In fact, the number of antagonists might exceed the number of protagonists. I lost count. But the danger ratchets up well through the story and consolidates via some clever plot twists.

There are many character points-of-view (POVs) in this story.  The POV shifted around more often than I prefer, but we get LOTS of insight into the mind of the antagonists, and those sections I thought were the most terrifying of all.

Northwoods Deep – Executive Summary Review

Northwoods Deep by Joel Arnold is a recipient of the “Arts of Darkness Shadow of Approval” award.

Northwoods Deep by Joel Arnold combines Native American folklore with Hansel and Gretel, and applies layers of both physical and psychological horrors from many different perspectives.

The story follows Carol Gunderson as she joins her sister on a canoe trip in Northern Minnesota. Carol just wants to unwind and forget about her abusive, stalking, ex-husband. But a powerful and ancient evil in a secluded cabin has other plans, and Carol’s trip descends into supernatural terror.

Despite containing scenes of torture, rape, and bestiality, the writing cleverly manages to avoid being graphic. There is plenty of space for your own mind to fill in the gory details. This story is definitely not for the immature or squeamish.

No matter what pushes your panic button, I guarantee there is something in Northwoods Deep to frighten you.

Northwoods Deep on Amazon (affiliate link – thanks for your support!)
Joel Arnold’s Amazon Author Page
Joel Arnold on Google Plus
Joel Arnold on Goodreads
Joel Arnold on Facebook


Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

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Arts of Darkness – The Shadow of Approval Award

Since 2003 I’ve been writing blog-reviews here about dark and beautiful things. I’ve used the category Ubercool to reference arts, artists, events and things that I think are glorious. And I never once worried that anyone would read them.

But now, my site traffic and ranking have increased to astonishing levels. My inbox is filled with requests for reviews and offers for paid advertising. You read that right. Paid. Advertising.

“You should have an award. You know, like a seal of approval!”

Ten years ago, I felt like the weird kid sitting by himself and reading Lovecraft while listening to Marilyn Manson. Now I feel like some kind of Dark Fiction Authority. The Goth Guru? The Hipster of Darkness?

But an award would be pretty cool. And easy. Or so I thought. It had to be generic enough to encompass all kinds of arts, artists and events…

…and I wanted the word “dark” in there someplace…

…and it had to be clear that it was something positive…

…and I didn’t want it to sound hokey…

…or make me sound like a minion of Satan herself. (A common misconception, btw. We just hung out in the same circles in college…)

Anyway, I’m proud to finally present my “Shadow of Approval” for arts and artistry that embrace the dark side. Mega-thanks to my graphic-savvy friend, J. Stuart Johnson for taking my conceptual-hack-job and turning it into an amazingly cool graphic. In fact, he should be the first artist I give the award to. If you need graphics or website work done, you should hire him.

What Are “Arts of Darkness”?
Dark Fiction and Authors Thereof

Don’t know where the phrase Dark Fiction got started, but it immediately made sense to me. Dark Fiction expands on the Horror genre by calling attention to this simple fact:

There’s more to Horror than shock and eww.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Horror. And Horror is a subset of Dark Fiction on this website. But I have a special appreciation for authors like Poe and Lovecraft who can write stories that are edgy, disturbing and even terrifying without resorting to the base, gross, vile and disgusting. “Dark” sums it up nicely.

I’ll save the What Is Dark Fiction? blog post for another day, but obviously “Arts of Darkness” can be used for much more than just dark fiction books.

Darkness In The Arts

The focus on books and authors here at conradzero.com should be obvious, but I love all kinds of gothy, eerie and edgy things: Websites like darktwincities.com. Musicians like Venus DeMars. Video Games. Theater. Restaurants. Mixed Drinks. Steampunk fashion shows.

The Minneapolis Zombie Pub Crawl is a great example. Can you imagine thousands of people dressed as zombies, drinking beer, listening to dubstep and spraying fake blood on each other? To file it under Horror is a shame, because a) it really isn’t, and b) that label could scare away an audience who might otherwise really enjoy it. But it definitely is Dark.

Goth or Gothic comes close to capturing the adjective I’m after. Hells, every product and article in Gothic Beauty Magazine would qualify for a review on this website. But I still prefer the term Dark. It feels more broad. More diverse. And it has less of a stereotype than Goth.

What Is The “Shadow of Approval” And How Does It Work?

The Shadow of Approval is the picture version of me saying this:

“I’m Conrad Zero, the Hipster of Darkness, and I approve this book/author/art/artist/event/whatever.”

As I review stuff here on conradzero.com, items which pass my stringent standards of dark integrity and goth-tastic quality will be awarded the Shadow of Approval. The graphic will be displayed in the blog post review, and I’ll notify the artist of their bragging rights.

Artists who receive the Shadow of Approval can download/post the graphic on their own website, share it on social media, get a tattoo of it on their chest… whatever. I only ask that if the graphic is used online, please link it back to this blog post so people can read this explanation of what it is.

How Do I Get One?

Just follow these four steps, which are anything but simple:

Make Glorious Art.
Darkly.
Make It Findable. If your marketing plan is for people to hunt you down and make you famous, you’re better off buying a lottery ticket. If someone searches for you or your book/band/website/whatever, then they should find it easily.
Promote It. I prefer reviewing things made by people who are passionate enough about their work to promote it.

I won’t lie, I prefer reviewing artists from Minnesota and the Mid-Western U.S. The East and West coasts have plenty of press already, and not many people know about the wealth of great art and artists here on the North Coast.

That doesn’t mean I only review stuff from Minnesota. I’ve reviewed films from Ireland, books from Egypt, and video games from Australia. And where the art comes from has no bearing on the review itself, I’m just more likely to review things that are closer to home.

For more about my preferences and how to get reviewed here, check out the Official Review Policy for conradzero.com

If you’re an artist or know of something dark, cool, and new to review, clue me in – zero at conradzero dotcom.

If you’re a fan, check back and see what arts/artists have received the Shadow of Approval.  They will still be found under the ubercool category. Or, join the Cult of Zero to receive the newsletter including all the dark and beautiful things I discover and cover here at conradzero.com.

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

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Glorious is the New Awesome

Cool. Bitchin. Gnarly. Classic. Mint. Def. Sweet. Excellent.

Awesome has been around for a long time now. Maybe too long. It’s time for a new adjective. And that adjective is…

Glorious

I’ll be using “Glorious” henceforth as my generic affirmative adjective and exclamation of choice. I hope you’ll do the same. Why? Because it would be Glorious, that’s why.

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

PS: Def? Really? Did you ever hear anyone actually say “Def”? Regardless, there was a funeral for “Def” in 1993, so Def is officially dead and should never be used in polite conversation.

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Earth-Friendly Giveaway!

Writing isn’t generally the most “earth-friendly” occupation, I swear I’ve printed out an entire deciduous forest in rough draft manuscript hard copies just so I could burn them. (Trust me, it’s a whole different feeling than right-click-and-delete.)

Anyway, to work off some of my karmic debt and to help celebrate EarthWeek, here is a great service I just heard about called Yerdle. Yerdle’s slogan is “Why shop when you can share?”

What is yerdle? 

Yerdle is the new mission-driven California Benefit corporation that’s out to help people share with their friends rather than buying things new. On yerdle, friends post items they’re willing to give away or loan, search for items they’re looking to get, and nab the things they want. Simple.

You must have a Facebook account to access Yerdle. Once logged in, you can give/receive things for free. Kinda like craigslist.com without the cash, or backpage.com without the sex. The founders of Yerdle hope that if people give away things they don’t want, this will help keep stuff out of the landfill. Everyone wins. Especially the Earth, and excepting manufacturers, of course.

I signed into Yerdle and the interface is clean and simple. It doesn’t need any kind of user’s manual. You can list something, or ‘ask around’ for something. I didn’t give/receive anything myself, so I’m not clear how these “free” goods get transported from location A to location B without some cost of time/energy, but if someone wants your old skis, then coming over to pick them up is still cheaper than buying them.

There’s also the potential for abuse, (in other words, people getting free things through Yerdle then “flipping” them to ebay/craigslist) so when this happens, you Do Not get to be surprised, because I told you so. Since the service routes through Facebook, your “friendship” through facebook acts as a filter of sorts which should help minimize abuse. But even if others are going to flip your stuff, if you were too lazy to list them on Craigslist yourself, you’ll feel better about giving them away than throwing them in the trash. And so will the Earth.

Drawing For Free Earth-Friendly Swag!

NBCUniversal’s Share and Tell has graciously offered a Green is Universal Prize Pack which includes an earth-friendly canvas tote bag full of earth-friendly swag stuff for me to give away to one lucky fan of conradzero.com!

There are three ways to win:

Members of the Cult of Zero are automatically entered in the drawing. Membership is free, sign up at the Cult of Zero.
Anyone who shares a link to this blog post on the social media of their choice will be entered in the drawing. Email me to verify your entry – zero at conradzero.com.
Anyone who takes the ECO Quiz “How Green Are You?” and posts their results in the comments section will be eligible to win.

Anyone who does all three options will have three chances to win!

Contest ends 8AM this Friday, May 3. Winner chosen at random, contacted by email and must respond within 48 hours or another winner will be selected. Prize can only be delivered to locations accessible by FedEx/UPS. No PO boxes, sorry!

NBC’s Share And Tell App

Learn more about Yerdle and take the ECO Quiz “How Green Are You?” through the app below. Remember to post your score in the comments section by this Friday to be entered in the drawing!

 

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

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