Conrad Zero's Blog: Conradzero.com, page 5

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – FINISHED!

14 November, 2011

I purchased Skyrim, the fifth game in Bethesda’s ‘The Elder Scrolls’ series. The previous game in the series was called Oblivion. After playing Oblivion all the way through, I had no hesitation dropping $60 to pick up Skyrim.

27 November, 2013

You read that right. 100% of all achievements completed!

After two years of playing this game, (only interrupted by occasional bouts of Mass Effect and Dragon Age,) and 376 hours of gameplay, I can safely say that I’ve “Finished” Skyrim. I backed up the 1,195 saved games and uninstalled the game client. Done. Moving on.

I’ve said before that many ‘open world’ games are not as open as they claim, but Skyrim does a good job of feeling like an open world. And while Skyrim modestly admits to a single Master Plotline, it actually has MANY major quests. Some quests are easy, taking just a few minutes to accomplish. Some quests are chains in a series of epic, story-arcing, world-changing, mind-blowing, time-sucking adventures. View the complete list of Skyrim quests here.

Thankfully, Steam compiled (and tracks) a list of the 75 most important, defining achievements you can experience in Skyrim. They encompass the master plotline and all the major quests. I used this as my grocery list to guide me through the game.

After 376 hours of gameplay, I’ve finally achieved 100% of the “achievements” in the world of Skyrim. I’ve helped the Stormcloak Rebellion to overthrow the tyrannical Empire/Government, embraced my dragonborn nature, harnessed the power of dragon speech to defeat Alduin The Worldeater, recovered many Daedric artifacts, mastered both Werewolf and Vampire abilities, returned the Thieves Guild to its former glory, made half a million in gold, got married, built some houses, adopted some kids, found the first dragonborn and kicked his lily ass, tamed and rode on the backs of 5 different dragons, and for the cherry on top, I slayed a Legendary Dragon.

Skyrim – Awesomesauce

The depth of the Skyrim game world is sickening in a good way. I’ve spent hours just reading books in this virtual world. I know more about the flora, fauna, politics and history of Skyrim than I do of Minnesota. The variety of quests, and your freedom to switch between them at will, (or ignore them completely and just explore) make the game so fun and freeing that it never felt like I “had” to do anything at all, only what I wanted to do. And sometimes all you really wanna do is don some assassin’s armor, quaff a fire-immunity potion, mount your nightmare horse with glowing red eyes, charge up to a dragon and pick a fight… like ya do.

Skill trees were great, and the skill system was as wide open as the world. If you want to focus on thieving or fighting or magical skills… help yourself. You can wear heavy armor and cast spells if you like, something many games won’t let you do. Changing play styles was as simple as changing what you do. The more you do something like lockpicking, the better you get at it. In fact, you gain experience from doing things like lockpicking and successfully casting spells. So slaving over a blacksmith’s forge or mixing ingredients at an alchemy bench helps you gain experience points as well as add to your arsenal.

And for the PC version, there are tons of user-created mods available through the Steam game client, and I’ll highlight my favorites at the end of this post.

Skyrim – Room For Improvement

Before I even get started complaining, I want you to understand that these are nothing more than minor quibbles compared to the awesome gameplay. These are ways that Bethesda can improve their next incarnation of The Elder Scrolls, but in no way should these issues prevent anyone from enjoying the game:

The mapping system and the inventory systems tied for the Poor Design Award. Why can’t you sort inventory items by weight? Why are my healing potions and poisons scattered under a dozen different names, then sorted alphabetically, instead of grouped by type? I tried a couple different mods that claimed to make the inventory system more useful, but they didn’t work well for me. In the end, I just tolerated it. The map interface was clearly designed for console gamepad use, and mouse use was an afterthought. Placing the quest marker on the map where I wanted it was frustrating and sometimes not possible. I would often move the quest marker just beyond where I wanted to go, so it would at least show me the right direction. Seeing a limited section of the map at any given time was a lame attempt to make the world seem ‘bigger’ than it was. I don’t care how big the world is, you need to be able to zoom out enough to see the whole thing at once.

I understand that it must be hard to find hundreds (yes hundreds) of people to do the voiceover work for a game of this scale, but I really don’t like hearing the same person’s voice coming up for different characters. Whomever did the voice for Belathor (of Belathor’s Goods store in Whiterun) kept showing up. He must have voiced over a dozen characters, and that wore off quickly.

The people you can pick as companions are often dolts who get separated from you quite easily, or lost, or refuse to jump down from a ledge, preferring to take a path around the entire mountain instead. More likely, you’ll get into a fight and notice they are gone. “Now where the hell is ___? He was right behind me ten minutes ago!” Lydia was the most dependable buddy by far, but her condescending tone of “I’m sworn to carry your burdens,” will get on your nerves. This plugin changes the tone of Lydia’s voice, so that was easily fixed. Sadly, companions won’t use potions you give them, and they often refuse to use the more powerful magic weapon instead of the less powerful, non-magical one. So you have to take away all their other weapons like you’re their mom or micromanaging boss.

For a game with SO MUCH CONTENT, I expected the DLC to be pretty amazing, but being a vampire (from the Dawnguard DLC) and flying around on dragons (from the Dragonborn DLC) was a rush at first, but in the end, not nearly as much fun as I thought they would be. And the Hearthfire expansion was a huge disappointment. The very idea of gathering resources like Iron Ingots… then forging them into nails and hinges… to construct sections of your virtual house… Are. You. Serious? If I’m gonna do work, then I really should be paid for it, and not the other way round.

Cooperative play would have been nice, and I see that Bethesda is launching an MMO version for the next incarnation of The Elder Scrolls. I also see that it will cost $15 per month. Have fun with that. I’ll wait for Dragon Age 3…

Was It Worth It?

You read that right. 376 hours of gameplay.

Yeah, you could say that. Because of the sheer number of quests involved, and the size of the open world, I was able to complete 376 hours of gameplay using a single character and never got bored. The variety of quests felt like playing through many different games.

Even if I never play Skryim again, it’s still the best entertainment value I’ve ever got for my money:

I purchased The Hunger Games trilogy of books for $30 and I read all three books in about 12 hours total. That’s $2.50 per hour.
Watching the four Hunger Games movies will probably cost me over $40 for about 10 hours of entertainment. That’s at least $4.00 per hour.
For $60, I played Skyrim for 376 hours. That’s about $0.16 per hour.

Best part is, I could go back and keep exploring and killing dragons till I hit the level cap at 81. Or I could also create a new and completely different character, start over and play through again with a different style of gameplay. I played through as a Bow-Wielding, Female, Cat-like, Khajiit Assassin (named Bastet), but I could restart as a Fighter  ”Come at me, dragon-bro!” or I could play a Mage “Nuke the site from orbit, Only way to be sure…”  And I could play as any of the other 10 different playable character races.

And the game mods? I’ll get to those later, but let’s just say mods like My Little Pony extend the re-playability of the game to preposterous levels.

Advice For Skyrim Noobz

Go Legendary - If you end up enjoying Skyrim (and you will) you’ll pay less by purchasing the Legendary Edition package with all the DLC included. If you’re buying individual DLC, don’t waste your money on Hearthfire. It’s silly and pointless, unless you are trying for 100% of the Steam achievements.

Be A Joiner - Everywhere you go, there will be groups, guilds, cults and secret societies. The Companions. The College of Winterhold. The Thieves’ Guild, The Assassins’ Guild. The Blades. Join them All. There’s no drawbacks to joining a group, and the benefits are lots of quests, and lots of resources, including companions to take with you on future adventures.  If you really want to get levels and check off the achievements, you’ll end up joining ALL of the groups and secret societies.

Embrace The Werewolf – Werewolfery without the Dawnguard DLC is little more than a fun diversion. But if you have Dawnguard installed, the Werewolf gets its own skill tree, which is easier to fill out earlier in your career. This is because enemies are leveled appropriate to your non-werewolf experience (to keep the game challenging, natch) but I found that the werewolf was a heavy hitter early in the game, and fairly lightweight over level 50. If you wait till later in the game to advance your werewolf perks like I did, you’ll spend a disproportionate amount of time dying and reloading saved games.

Ditto The Vampire – Becoming a vampire gives you some really cool abilities. You can turn into a cloud of bats and dash out of danger. You can drain life from others at a distance. But with great power come some really sucky drawbacks. Like sunlight. And the need to drink blood. And guards attacking you on sight. You might wanna zoom through the vampire skill tree as soon as you can, and if you dig the vampire lifestyle, I can tell you that Ariel’s Bow and it’s special powers will make your unlife a lot easier. Otherwise, a quick visit to Aela the Huntress will cure that vampirism, right-quick.

Yes, you actually can switch back and forth between Vampire and Werewolf – Lots of people online giving false info on this one. You can go back and forth between Aela the Huntress (from the Companions) and Serena (from castle Dawnguard) to switch between Werewolf and Vampire. Note that if you suggest that Serena get her vampirism cured, she will, and you’ll lose the vampire option.

Master That Difficulty Level – If the game is too easy then you ain’t doing it right. Work on getting that difficulty slider on Master, or you’re NEVER gonna level up. Jacking the difficulty level raises the XP of your kills. If Master level is kicking your ass, check out the next tip:

Learn Item Creation And Improvement - Its a part of the game I didn’t bother with till near the end, but the smithing, alchemy and enchanting skills are actually quite powerful. With just a few resources like leather and iron ingots, you can improve weapons and armor to be twice as effective and the weight stays the same. Alchemy can help you turn plants into poisons and potions that make the game a lot easier. Trust me, when you start taking down dragons with 3 arrows, don’t feel bad, cuz you wouldn’t last three seconds under a dragon’s breath. Trick out those weapons, son. Thank me later.

Maintain Your Friends’ Gear – They won’t do it themselves. Give them armor, wands, magic weapons, rings and amulets. They won’t use potions. Upgrade their gear as often as you upgrade your own. Note that they decide what they will wear/use, and they might not use that awesome sword unless you take all the others away. Keep their magic weapons charged up. You can tell their weapon needs recharging when it stops glowing. A good item to give a companion is a wand of summoning, or wand of ressurrection. This lets them add another member to your party. Avoid giving them any kind of area effect weapons like wand of fireballs or wand of chain lightning. Just don’t.

Achievements Only Need To Be Triggered Once  - Which means you can unlock the achievement, then revert to a previous game save, and you get to keep the achievement. For example, I wanted to get the ‘Wanted’ achievement but getting arrested and escaping from jail has some drawbacks. Simply save the game, punch out a guard, get arrested, and break out of jail. Bingo, you get the achievement. Then reload your saved game, and continue on your merry way without a criminal record. This goes tenfold for the Master Criminal achievement.

Use Steam, Punk – There are two reasons I wouldn’t touch Skyrim on a X-box or Playstation:

First, if your game glitches due to bad code, you can usually fix it yourself via console commands… but only on a PC.  While playing Skyrim, I had a major quest glitch on me, but a simple quest reset command saved me from having to load a saved game from months ago, and losing probably 20 hours or more of gaming time. Is your companion lost? Did you get hung up in an awkward rock formation? Game console commands to the rescue! But if you’re on X-box or Playstation, too bad.

[image error]

Go ahead, mention “Arrow to the Knee” again. I dare ya…

Second, the Steam community mods for the game range from astonishing to disturbing to sheer genius:

Want better quality weather effects? Water effects ? Foliage textures? Blood spatters? Want a more realistic leather pattern on that Thieves’ Guild Armor?
How about a mod that makes unread books glow? This mod alone will save you hours of no-fun, sifting through tomes looking for the ones you haven’t already read.
Do you like cleavage? Like your females curvy? Yep, there’s mods for that, too.
Is Lydia’s tone a little too condescending? Download a mod that not only makes Lydia’s tone more respectful, but gives her some astonishing combat finishing moves.
Are you afraid of giant spiders? Some arachnophobe created a mod that reskins all the spiders to make them look like bears.
Want more realistic hair physics? Download a mod to change the hair physics, then demo it in your band video using virtual model exotic dancing.
Winner of the ABSOLUTE BEST OF ALL SKYRIM MODS goes to Divine Punishment for Mentions of Arrow To The Knee. Instead of dreading this phrase that is constantly mentioned by guards as you pass, you’ll look forward to hearing it. With this patch installed, any guard mentioning how they “Used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee.” gets a lightning-bolt enema.

Of course, you can also use mods to cheat and give yourself overpowered gear. And console commands like player.advlevel are easy, if you hate actually playing video games. For the record, I did not cheat! After 376 hours of gameplay, I’m thinking maybe I should have. But at least I never took an arrow in the knee…

Executive Summary Review of The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

Best. Game. Ever.

You. Buy. Now.

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

5 Frustrations with Google HOA (Hangouts On Air)

From Audio Podcast to Video Bliss (Almost)

For a few years, I recorded and edited the podcast for the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers’ Group. I would record our monthly writers’ discussions on a Zoom H4n, then dump the sound file into Sonar, add a voiceover intro/outro (some intros were provided by fellow MNSpec authoress, Abra Staffin-Wiebe) then export to wav, import to Adobe Audition, trim the ends, convert to mp3, tag and upload.

Check out the results for yourself here: Listing of all the MNSpec Writers Group Podcasts.

Now even someone who sucks at math could tell you this process was high-maintenance. It took two to three hours of post-production for each hour of finished audio. For all of the TENS of fans who listened to the podcast.

Then I discovered Google’s “Hangouts On Air” (or #HOA ) HOA is a feature that allows you to stream a Google Hangout video chat LIVE on google plus, and auto-post to youtube.com when the chat is completed. So instead of hours of audio post-production, I figured I could switch to HOA, stream the meetup in a video hangout, which not only added the freakin’ video, but also gave our group the ability to remote-in to the writers’ group meetup, plus the presto-uploaded youtube video with all it’s sharing/commenting/analytic-tracking glory, and all with NO post-production.

Sheer. Genius. Or so I thought.

I’ve used HOA many times now, to stream/broadcast the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers’ Group and some writer friends’ live readings at Dreamhaven. But after recording the 2013 Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers’ Group Showcase last weekend, I realized that HOA just isn’t as low-maintenance and high-payoff as I’d hoped.

5 Major Frustrations of Google Hangouts On Air:

Why on God’s Green Earth they choose to flip the video on the vertial axis is beyond me. While youtube has an online video editor with some rudimentary features, flipping the video back to normal is not one of them. If there are signs, book covers, or other text/graphics you want to show up correctly, you’ll have to download and import into a local video editor like windows movie maker, flip, export, upload, and delete the original. Might just as well record offline and get WAY better quality with less hassle.
Your HOA auto-uploads are auto-branded with Google’s logo. Not exactly sure why Google feels the need to watermark your video during HOA, and there is no option to turn it off. And when you flip the video (see #1) then the video is back to normal but now the watermark is backwards.
The resolution sucks.  To be fair, the resolution has to be dumbed down so it can be streamed live. This seems a fair price to pay for streaming quality. But my google chats don’t look or sound that bad. Yes, I have it set to HD. Yes, I have a high resolution webcam. Yes, I have bandwidth. I have a good quality internet connection… oh wait, actually I don’t. Which is another problem, because HOA…
Needs a stable internet connection. Even if you can get the bandwidth, good luck finding an access point that stays alive for 2 hours with no hiccups. The bad news is that when the connection does break and you have to restart the broadcast, you have to name it (again, thanks) and name it differently than the first broadcast, thanks. And you need to type quickly, because you are missing content while you’re typing all the details in… and then when you do press broadcast, it has a 15 second delay. So a millisecond glitch in the wi-fi connection is going to set you back at least thirty seconds of content. The good news is that you can merge the clips together with youtube’s online video editor, the bad news is that you’ll end up with a completely new file with a new link. Good luck with that, when people start sharing and commenting on the crappy version before you even get to pull it down.
Does Not Run On Android – Let me get this straight. Hangouts work on my phone. And I can take vids on my phone and upload them to youtube. But HOA does not work on android phones? Fail. Plan to bring a laptop, webcam, and wi-fi to make HOA work. Probably want to bring the laptop power cord while you’re at it.

If you need the live interaction of Hangouts, and truly don’t care about the video quality and mirrored effect, then HOA is a great multi-tasker. Wanna share your bros doing parkour fails realtime AND auto-publish that shit with no edits? HOA all the way, baby. Unfortunately, the coolness of “But this was a multi-person videochat streamed LIVE!!!” doesn’t outweigh the amateur results.

If you want any semblance of quality, HOA + youtube video editor isn’t there yet.You will have to piece together and transition between video pieces, and you’ll need to flip the video, (which you can’t do on youtube) so you’re going to end up downloading and editing on a locally installed video edit program like Windows Movie Maker anyway. Deleting all the crap, uploading the corrections, and doing damage control on the links. All for meh video quality, garbly audio and choppy edits?

Not sheer. Not genius. So I rethought.

The Future of MNSpec Event Recording

So I’m changing my tactic. I think that even for average events, a marginal amount of video post-processing gives a huge increase in the quality. For the same work as the podcast production, I can have a really nice video production, with all the lovely perks of youtube distribution.

So I’ve ordered Sony’s consumer-level video editing software, and maybe next year I’ll get a dedicated point-and-shoot videocam.

Hangouts On Air gets constant improvement, and new features. Youtube’s video editor is already pretty amazing for an online app, and getting better. Google clearly wants HOA to succeed. Someday, it will be a better solution. Till then, I’m separating the Hangout from the video edit/upload, and going old-school with local post-production.

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

2013 Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers’ Showcase

Do You Like Fiction?

Then you’ll want to mark this event on your calendar:

On Sunday, November 17th, members of the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers’ Group (aka: MNSpec) will be reading stories at Acadia Cafe in Minneapolis.

Come and enjoy Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Steampunk, Paranormal Romance, and much more. All Fiction. All Speculative.

The fun starts at 12PM, and each writer will have approximately ten minutes to read from their current material.

Fiction Fans, this is your opportunity to experience a large number of local writers in a short period of time. Find a new local author to add to your “must read” list!

Here’s just some of the talented folks who will be entertaining us with tales of the un-real:

Joel Arnold
Kelly Barnhill
Rob Callahan
Eli Effinger-Weintraub
Terry Faust
Catherine Lundoff
Michael Merriam
Margaret Taylor
…and more!

All hosted by yours darkly.

How, you may ask, did I ever get such talented folks to volunteer to read their works?  Let’s just say I know people who know people who run S&M clubs, and leave it at that.

Why, you may ask, did I ever agree to host an event like this? Let’s just say I paid a lot for my cool steampunk hat and goggles, and if there’s an event I can wear them… then I’m wearing them.

Hope to see you there! And if you want to help share this event with others, feel free to download the jpg graphic above, or here is a link to the pdf version of the event flyer:

2013_MNSpec_Showcase Flyer

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

The Problem With Social Paywalls

What Is A “Social Paywall”?

A new invention for social-media-ville is called a “social paywall.” You may have already seen its older brother (called a financial paywall) in posts and articles. A financial paywall looks like this:

Makes sense. You get some content for free, but if you wanna get past the wall, you have to pay to continue.

A Social Paywall is different. It looks like this:

With a social paywall, you “pay” to access content with your social media approval.

In the world of websites, social approvals (likes, +1s, shares, etc.) have a value. They are like votes. They add up to something called Social Proof, also known as clout, moxie, or influence. They also might help jack up a website’s SEO. (Search Engine Optimization) These results are so valuable to website owners that it’s easy to understand how they could mistake social approval for currency.

So now websites with social paywalls will expect you to share/tweet/+1/like before you can access the content. Because your +1 is just like money, right? And it doesn’t cost you, so you won’t care, right?

You should.

The Problem With The Social Paywall

In the physical world, we are used to paying for things in the form of an exchange. You can stop in at the local bar and watch the big-screen tv for free. Popcorn and water is free too. But if you want a shot of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky, you’re going to have to pay for it.

That same business model works fine online as a financial paywall. Some content/info is free, but if you want something more, then you have to pay for it.

But that’s NOT how social media likes, +1s, shares and other social approvals work.

Social paywalls twist the function of likes, +1s shares, etc. corrupting ‘social proof’ as we know it. – [Click to Tweet This!]

Back in the physical realm, when you have a good experience at the bar – when the bathrooms are clean and the bartender is friendly, and makes your drinks so strong that they start to dissolve the glass they’re served in – then you leave a tip on the counter as you go. And you tell your friends, “Hey you should check out this great place.” That is your real-world social approval.

Online social approval is no different. Your facebook “likes”, 1s, positive ratings, thumbs-ups, tweets, happy comments and blog posts are the equivalent of telling your friends “check this out! I like it!’ Social approvals are just that: Social + Approval.

But with a social paywall, you have to socially approve something before you see it. So how do you know if you “like” or “approve” of the information before you view it?

You don’t. You can’t.  And that’s the problem with a Social Paywall. Those who use it are restricting content until AFTER you share it or  AFTER you say that you like it.  The social approval is given before the product/service has “proven” itself, which does not compute. Would you tell all your friends that you loved a book before you’ve read it, or a bar before you’ve even been to the place?

Social paywalls are an attempt to game the system. They fundamentally twist the function of social approvals, and will inevitably corrode the credibility of “social proof” as we know it. This has already happened to the book reviews on Amazon. Greedy folks gamed that system too, and it lost it’s usefulness.

There are other problems with a social paywall, (ie: not everyone has a facebook account, and social sites are sometimes blocked by corporate firewalls…) but these are pretty minor in comparison and mostly affect the website owners. But the damage social paywalls could cause to the existing system would unfairly impact everyone.

The Executive Summary Version

Social approvals (facebook likes, google +1s, tweets, shares, etc)  are the online equivalent of telling others about something ubercool that you experienced. Optional. Not necessary. Intended to let your friends know what you believe are above-average products/services. But social paywalls demand your approval before you see the content, which makes about as much sense as raving about a product or service you’ve never experienced.

It doesn’t surprise me that someone would come up with the social paywall. And it won’t surprise me to see websites actually use it. But it’s beyond rude, and it ruins simple and effective method of social proof by trying to twist it into an entry fee.

Web Designers: Quality content begets social proof, not vice-versa. Use a financial paywall if you think your content is worth it. Ask for email or account registration if you think your content is worth it. But leave the social media links at the bottom or side of the content. People will gladly like/+1/tweet/share/forward your content… after they read it, and after they decide that it’s worth approving/sharing.

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

Free DVD/Blu-Ray Of Horror Movie The Conjuring – #TheConjuring

Did you see the horror film The Conjuring in the theater? Love it? Hate it? Doesn’t matter. You want the DVD/Blu-Ray that’s coming out on October 22nd anyway. Wanna know why?

Behind.
The.
Scenes.

I saw the Conjuring on DVD and stayed up way too late watching the behind the scenes. They were every bit as creepy as the movie itself! See interviews with those who lived out the real events dramatized in the film.

If you haven’t seen The Conjuring yet, here’s what you’re missing:

Based on a true story, the movie tells the horrifying account of how famed paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren were summoned to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse which they recently bought. In fighting this powerful demonic being, the Warrens find themselves in the middle of the most terrifying case of their lives!

And I’m giving away a Free copy of the DVD/Blu-Ray of The Conjuring here on November 3rd!

Cool! How Do I Win A Free Copy Of The Conjuring on DVD/Blu-Ray?

On Sunday, Nov 3rd, I’ll select one lucky member from the Cult of Zero as the winner! If you’re already a member, you’re already entered in the drawing! If you aren’t a member, well… why the hell not? I’m giving away so much free stuff, it’s costing you money NOT to join!

Sign up to be included in the drawing right here:

Join the Cult of Zero
to get Free E-books!



Name:



E-mail:








Giveaway Rules (and other things the lawyers make me include…)

On the due date, I’ll contact the winner by email and they have 24 hours to respond with their mailing address. Prizes are deliverable to US and Canada only. Prizes will be sent by Fed Ex or USPS, so No PO Boxes please.

If the winner does not respond within 24 hours, or cannot provide a mailing address meeting the requirements above, I’ll select another winner.

Each household is only eligible to win 1 The Conjuring Blu-ray via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

5 Horrific Facts About The Conjuring

Below are interactive gifs and cool facts about The Conjuring. Run your cursor over the images for a horrific, interactive experience, and good luck on those free tickets!

1) The Conjuring is directed by the acclaimed James Wan, the Australian-born director of the fright-fests Insidious and the Saw series. His Twitter handle is @CreepyPuppet. Say no more.

2) The Conjuring has been given an “R” rating by the MPAA. Not because of blood, gore, or violence, but simply because it’s just so scary from start to finish!

3) The Conjuring’s cast and crew experienced creepy events during filming. Scratches appeared out of nowhere on Vera Farmiga’s computer soon after she agreed to act in the movie, the crew were routinely woken by something in the “witching hour” between 3 and 4AM, and the real-life Carolyn Perron fell and broke her hip while visiting the set.

4) The Rhode Island farmhouse where The Conjuring is set once belonged to an accused witch, Bathsheba, who tried to sacrifice her children to the devil and killed herself in 1863.

5) Hold your applause! The Conjuring will make you terrified to clap! Whether it’s playing a traditional game of hide-and-seek by following the clapping sounds like the mother and daughter in the movie, or being terrorized by ghostly claps in different rooms of the haunted farmhouse, these claps throughout the movie will give you the creeps!

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

FREE Movie Ticket Giveaway for All Is Lost!

This site is turning into a giveaway center! But as long as fine folks like All Is Lost are going to give me swag like movie tickets to give away for free, I’m not going to complain!

On Sunday, October 27th, I’ll be giving away 2 free tickets to the movie All Is Lost starring Robert Redford.

Academy Award® winner Robert Redford stars in All Is Lost, an open-water thriller about one man’s battle for survival against the elements after his sailboat is destroyed at sea. But with the sun unrelenting, sharks circling and his meager supplies dwindling, the ever-resourceful sailor soon finds himself staring his mortality in the face.

Written and directed by Academy Award nominee J.C. Chandor (Margin Call) with a musical score by Alex Ebert (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros), All Is Lost is a gripping, visceral and powerfully moving tribute to ingenuity and resilience.

Cool! How Do I Win Free Tickets to All Is Lost?

Easy. On Sunday, Oct 27th, I’ll select one lucky member from the Cult of Zero as the winner! If you’re already a member, you’re already entered in the drawing! If you aren’t a member, well… why the hell not? I think I’ve given away a dozen cool prizes over the past year and I’ve yet to send out a single newsletter, so your odds of winning something cool like DVDs, Blu-Rays and movie tickets is better than your chance of actually getting dark fiction news from me anyway!

Sign up to be included in the drawing right here:

Join the Cult of Zero
to get Free E-books!



Name:



E-mail:

 

What’s The Catch?

No catch. But there is some fine print.

On the due date, I’ll contact the winner by email and they have 24 hours to respond with their mailing address. Prizes are deliverable to US and Canada only. Prizes will be sent by Fed Ex or USPS, so NO PO Boxes please.

If the winner does not respond within 24 hours, or cannot provide a mailing address meeting the requirements above, I’ll select another winner.

Each household is only eligible to win 2 Free Movie Tickets via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

All Is Lost Interactive Movie Poster

It’s almost 2014. We don’t have any flying cars yet, but we do have cool blog apps like the one below! Run your cursor over the image for cool, interactive, awesomeness, and good luck on those free tickets!

 

 

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

 

The post FREE Movie Ticket Giveaway for All Is Lost! appeared first on Conrad Zero.

Pacific Rim Blu-Ray Giveaway! #PacificRim

Win a Free Blu-Ray of Pacific Rim!

One lucky member of the Cult of Zero will receive a Free Blu-Ray of Pacific Rim! I saw Pacific Rim in the theater, and if you’re a fan of Kaiju movies, you’re going to love it!

Directed by Guillermo del Toro, Pacific Rim is an epic science fiction film set in the 2020s. Earth is at war with Kaijus; colossal monsters from an inter-dimensional gateway on the Pacific Ocean floor. Humanity unites to fight these huge monsters by creating the Jaegers: gigantic humanoid robots that are controlled by two pilots whose minds and memories are linked. The story takes place in the later days of the war, following Raleigh Becket, a former Jaeger pilot called out of retirement and paired up with newbie pilot Mako Mori in a final effort to defeat the Kaijus!

Pacific Rim was released on Blu-ray & DVD yesterday, Oct 15th.

OMG! OMG! OMG! How Can I Win A FREE Blu-Ray of Pacific Rim?

Calm down. Deep breath. Find your center.

On October 26th, I’ll randomly select a member of the Cult of Zero to win a copy of the Blu-Ray. Winner will be contacted by email and has 48 hours to respond with their mailing address.

Warner Bros limits the giveaway to the U.S. and Canada only, and the prize will be sent via FedEx or USPS, so NO P.O. Boxes. Each household is only eligible to win 1 Pacific Rim Blu-Ray via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

If the winner does not respond with a valid mailing address within 48 hours, I’ll randomly select another winner.

If you’re not a member of the Cult of Zero, then sign up here before the drawing on the 26th!

Join the Cult of Zero
to get Free E-books!



Name:



E-mail:








Pacific Rim Blog App

While you’re waiting to win, check out the blog app below.

Pacific Rim: CONTROLLABLE GIFs - Move & click your mouse across the GIFs to control the Giant Kaiju and Massive Jaegers!
Pacific Rim SUPERFAN QUIZ - How do your movie smarts stack up? Do you consider yourself to be a movie superfan? Take the quiz to find out!
Pacific Rim SOUNDBOARD - Pacific Rim features epic battles between the Jaegers and Kaiju! Play with SFX from the movie, create your own battle clashes, and save mankind from the apocalypse!

 

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

The post Pacific Rim Blu-Ray Giveaway! #PacificRim appeared first on Conrad Zero.

Dark Fiction Review – Ghoulish Song by William Alexander

Ghoulish Song is a companion book to Goblin Secrets, the national book award winning story by Minnesota author, William Alexander. (Read my review of Goblin Secrets.)

This is not a “Part 2″ to Goblin Secrets, as some reviewers are saying. (Since William Alexander told me this himself, I’m inclined to believe him.) Ghoulish Song is a “companion” to Goblin Secrets. Both books are set in the same world at the same time. The city of Zombay, its magic, witches, Goblin-acting-troops, squidskin coats, and clockwork guards are revealed through both novels. The two books can be read in either order, and you can read either story without reading the other, but reading them both offers synergy and depth to the stories.

William Alexander’s writing is “Neil Gaiman Good” which is about the highest praise I can give to writing. The words on the page are simply a pleasure to read. Pacing never lags, and the story is fantasy with a refreshing splash of steampunk. I praised William before for balancing his fantasy with realism, and once again, he delivers.

Ghoulish Song is aimed at  younger-than-young-adult markets, and some have criticized the story as being too dark for younger readers. Seriously, have you even heard of the Brothers Grimm? But then again, I was reading stuff at age ten that might give some adults nightmares, so I’m probably not the best judge about such things. I can say that Ghoulish Song will live on the shelf quite happily alongside The Ocean At The End Of The Lane, Clockwork Angels, and yes, Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

The story focuses on the protagonist Kaile, who receives a flute made of bone from a Goblin acting troupe. Playing the flute separates Kaile’s shadow from her body, which unfortunately in Zombay, is a sign that you are dead. To me, the plot of Kaile resolving this strange symptom gets overshadowed (pardon the pun) by her explorations in the fascinating city of Zombay.  Not a bad thing, because the world and the writing are rich and intriguing. I found myself thinking, “Oh, why are we here again, Kaile? Sorry my dear, I was miles away, just wondering what dried, salted dustfish tastes like. Yes, yes, please do continue on…”

I found Kaile  to be just the right mixture of likable, yet brash. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but she continued to make really bad choices. I expect her to say, “The clockwork guard will be inspecting our shop tomorrow? Bummer. Hey, how about I invite in a goblin acting troupe to perform even though I know they don’t get along with the guards?” Great for the story, but bad for Kaile, who will definitely grow up to be one of those teens in a slasher film: “There’s a psycho-axe-murderer here in the woods? Bummer. Hey, let’s split up and go skinny dipping!”

The ending feels Disney-ish because it is, and that’s OK, since this is a kid’s book. In fact, if Ghoulish Song had a singular, more pronounced antagonist, it would make a great Disney movie.

Speaking of antagonist, I was expecting a giant-claw thing to reach for our heroine at some point in the story, as is shown on the book cover. This never happens. Aside from that, the cover art is well done and very high quality.

For those interested in the audiobook version, William Alexander narrates it himself, and after hearing him read on more than one occasion, I can tell you his acting experience makes listening to him a treat. You can watch William give a reading of his own work on my youtube page.

Keep your eyes open for a third book in this world coming soon: an actual sequel to both Goblin Secrets and Ghoulish Song.

Twitter Review of Ghoulish Song

Ghoulish Song by Will Alexander is quality YA literature for all ages. You’ll love the writing and the interesting world.[Click to Tweet This!]

Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

The post Dark Fiction Review – Ghoulish Song by William Alexander appeared first on Conrad Zero.

Estate Planning for Authors and Artists

Don’t let this happen to your book! Make a will for your intellectual property estate.

A local Minneapolis artist passed away unexpectedly last week. I’d done some website work for him over the past several years. Because of the nature of the work I was doing, I have access to much of the deceased’s “digital estate.” I have usernames and passwords for his website, registration, and even some financial accounts.

He wasn’t the kind of person to write down all those passwords and put them in his will. The obituary only shows who he is survived by, which may be quite different from whom he is leaving things to in his will.

My immediate thoughts were “Who did he leave everything to? Did they get all his account info? How can I contact them?”

And more important to the rest of us, “What can we do to prevent this kind of situation?”

So I thought about the different kinds of estates each of us have, and how to plan for their disposition when we kick the bucket:

Everyone will have some kind of PHYSICAL estate: bank account, property, house, kids, etc.
Many people now have a DIGITAL estate: online accounts, email, music and media libraries, services, utilities, website hosting/registration, social media, etc.
Authors, Musicians and other artists may also have an INTELLECTUAL estate: Books, Music, Illustrations, Screenplays, etc.

Planning Your Physical Estate

Of the three, this is the estate you most likely have covered by contracts, agreements or a living will. Banks probably have a “specialist” on hand with forms to fill out and pamphlets describing the process of deceased account management. Same with your house, car, student loans and your kids.

But just because this is all intuitive and/or covered by state laws, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t assign where it goes when you die. I’ll bet many people don’t have a will, or if they do, it’s not current. Having an official living will isn’t good enough. You have to let others know you have it and where to find it. And if you are older, and/or in poor health, it makes sense to investigate a trust fund, which could save your inheritors plenty in estate taxes.

But nowadays, there’s more to think about than just your physical assets.

Planning Your Digital Estate

As slim as the odds are that you have your physical estate in order, it’s even less likely that you have your digital estate planned. And I’m not just talking about the login for your phone or the password for your computer, but that’s part of it.

Nobody cares about your facebook page. (Facebook will take it down anyway, as soon as they find out the account owner is deceased, per their End User License Agreement.) But they might care about your music library on i-tunes, or the library of e-books on your kindle, or the stash of family photos in your dropbox account… all of which are secured with user account/email/password.

Email

Arguably, the most important part of your digital estate would be your email. Email can be used to verify password reset on many online accounts, so you’ll want to make sure your email account(s) are accessible by your inheritors.

One tool that can help Gmail account holders is Google’s Inactive Account Manager. It makes your account available to people you specify after a set period of account inactivity. Or deletes the lot of it. Your choice. You can read a review of Google Inactive Account Manager here at PCmag.com,

Website registration

If you own a website domain, it’s really important that your next-of-kin understand the significance of renewing the domain hosting and registration. ESPECIALLY the registration. If that domain name goes one microsecond without getting renewed, someone will buy it. And the kind of people who would do such a thing are not the kind of people who would give it back. They might sell it back for a few thousand. Probably more. Or they might auction it off. Or they might keep it for themselves. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

This is even more important if the website is any source of income or sales.

Keep it Simple

There are plenty of software and services to help you pass along your digital domain if you go splat, but I don’t see any need for a monthly fee. My will includes username and password for one master account, which contains all the info for every account I’ve ever created online. Simple to pass on, and rarely needs updating. But for this to work, you have to be diligent about recording your account info in that master account…

Whatever method you use, the goal is the same – you’ll want your dearly beloveds to be able to access any valuable data, close memberships or services that autobill your bank, rollover any available funds, complete any online business (ebay, craigslist, etc) share the news of your passing, and perhaps monitor your email and social media sites for people trying to contact you.

As if this weren’t enough, artists have even more to worry about…

Planning Your Intellectual Estate

Authors, musicians and other artists leave more behind than just their student loans and music library. They often have intellectual property rights. And those rights are often left in limbo when they die because of poor planning. (or NO planning…) Songs, stories, scripts, movie rights, who knows – your steampunk paranormal romance novel that never sold might be worth something after you kick the bucket. Ask H.P. Lovecraft, who died a very poor man, but whose intellectual estate grew to extremely enviable value. The lesson is: don’t forget to assign ownership of your intellectual property in your will.

Uber-Author Neil Gaiman had the exact same thoughts about this issue, and brought it up with a lawyer/author who created a VERY SIMPLE WILL FOR AUTHORS. You should read the details about different ways to go about completing the form on Neil’s website.

But that simple will for authors is the least you should do. Sadly, much of intellectual property rights are complicated. They are written in legaleze, which few can speak and I will not utter here. They are contained on legal contracts, usually the physical, printed and signed-in-ink kind. These need to be somewhere your next-of-kin can find them.

And if you have an intellectual property lawyer or attorney, make sure their contact info is available to your next-of-kin. Even if the rights have been “sold off” to a publisher, you still want to delegate those rights in a will, because those rights may “fall back” to the author under certain conditions or after a certain period of time. It might be wise for next of kin to have these contracts reviewed and explained to them by an attorney.

Your Task List Before You Kick The Bucket

The goal is simple. In order for your physical, digital and intellectual rights estates to be bequeathed properly, you have to spell out not only who gets what, but how they get it.

Maintain a living will to cover disposition of your physical, digital and intellectual estates.
Make sure your will includes the “keys” (username, password, verified email account, and answers to security questions) to any digital property, so they can access the account.
List any contracts for intellectual property in the will, or file copies of those contracts along with the will.
Do it now. You could die while reading this blog post. So get off your ass and make that list.


Yours Darkly,
Conrad Zero

The post Estate Planning for Authors and Artists appeared first on Conrad Zero.

Free Movie Giveaway – Bounty Killer #BountyKillerMovie

Bet you were just thinking to yourself, What the hell is Kristanna Loken up to? After Bloodrayne and Terminator 3, you might have missed her in Painkiller Jane and The Legend of Awesomest Maximus. (No, I’m serious.) But she’s back to kick ass as Mary Death in Bounty Killer the movie based off the graphic novel.

Bounty Killer will be released Sept 6, 2013.

This is the age of the BOUNTY KILLER.

Bounty killers compete for body count, fame and a fat stack of cash. They’re ending the plague of corporate greed and providing the survivors of the apocalypse with retribution.

Based on the graphic novel, Bounty Killer follows the exploits of Mary Death, the leading Bounty Killer on the scene.

It’s been 20 years since the corporations took over the world’s governments. Their thirst for power and profits led to the corporate wars, a fierce global battle that laid waste to society as we know it. Born from the ashes, the Council of Nine rose as a new law and order for this dark age. To avenge the corporations’ reckless destruction, the Council issues death warrants for all white collar criminals. Their hunters: the bounty killers!

How to Get a FREE copy of Bounty Killer!

Bounty Killer has graciously provided me with a free copy of the DVD to giveaway to one lucky fan of conradzero.com!

On 17 Sept 2013, I’ll pick one random member of the Cult of Zero as the winner. Existing members are automatically entered in the drawing.  If you’re not a member, then join the Cult of Zero by Sept 17th, and you not only get a chance to win Bounty Killer on Blu-Ray, you’ll also receive the occasional free ebook, newsletter and/or information on how to take over the world.

Simply enter your name and email address in the form below before Tuesday, 17 Sept 2013 for your chance to win!

Join the Cult of Zero
to get Free E-books!



Name:



E-mail:








Bounty Killer Giveaway Fine Print

On the date listed, I’ll pick one person at random. Winner will be notified by their registered email address. Selected winner has 48 hours to respond with their mailing address, which must be accessible by FedEx or UPS. This means no PO Boxes allowed!

If there is no response/address provided within 48 hours, I’ll pick another winner.

While you’re waiting, check out Bounty Killer app below.

Bounty Killer App

 

 

Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

The post Free Movie Giveaway – Bounty Killer #BountyKillerMovie appeared first on Conrad Zero.