Taven Moore's Blog, page 36

Titles From Adventure Of Creation

The comment section of the last post on titles was so much fun that I thought I’d play a game. Here is a pseudo-random list of titles from the Adventure Of Creation short story collection (my own title has been removed).

If you had to choose only five of these short stories to read, which ones would you pick, based on title alone?

They’re numbered for easy commenting, not because that’s the order in the book.

Some Other World
My Soul to Take
The Forest King
Finding Light
Just Add Copper
Treasures
Knitting
Boneless
The Café
Eighty-One
The Mistake
The Unicorn Quilt
Worlds of Clay
The Burn
A Splash of Art
Tortellini
Spoilers
Make A Sound
The Wish
A Play of Hopes and Fears
Whisper
West’s Prelude
Hedda of the Upworld
Restoration
I Need a Story
Innocence
Hitting the High Notes
Trial of the Magideem
Glass
New Life
Crazy Uncle
The Interview
Memory Book
After the Fire

My Picks

I FINALLY have my copy of the book (and it looks fantastic!) but I haven’t read any of them yet. Without knowing anything, I would choose the following as my possible favorites:

The Unicorn Quilt – for obvious reasons. I love unicorns, and I love quilting, and I’m immediately curious.
Just Add Copper – Such an interesting title. Is it steampunk? Is it alchemy? I’m hoping it’s magic related, but in any case, I want to know more.
Tortellini – I love cooking, and that’s just a FUN word, isn’t it?
Trial of the Magideem – Cheating a little, as I know the person who wrote this one, but honestly? It’s a great title that indicates there will be magic and some kind of test. I love that stuff.
Hitting the High Notes – I had a hard time picking the last one, but this one might have to do with singing, which I almost always enjoy reading about

Lots of these have intriguing titles. My Soul to Take, Crazy Uncle, Knitting — all of those seem interesting and I can’t wait to read them.

Now the real fun begins, because I can start reading them, then come back and see whether my guesses were even close to the actual stories I loved the most.

Related posts:

Adventures In Creation: Available Now!
How To Title Your Story
Saucy Chronicles 1: The Unicorns Now Available!

How To Title Your Story

Writing Titles is Hard

Like … “I wish I could outsource this to someone smarter than me” hard.

I am by no means a master of titling things, but the very fact that I consider myself so terrible at it is why I have striven (strived? Strought? Now nothing looks right.) to find some keys to properly naming a story.

This comes about after attempting to name a series of flash fiction and short stories.

The Trick

Good names typically come from one of three different aspects of your story.

Your Twist
Your Hook
Your Theme

Example

Let’s say you’ve got a flash fic about a witch who loves to bake. Her name is Lucy Alvarez. And she … umm … enters a baking contest but her rival replaces all her normal apples with poison apples. She doesn’t notice till the end, when it’s too late to change it, and it turns out the judge is a unicorn so the poison is neutralized before it can be eaten. Lucy wins the contest, and our villain ends up punished with peeling poison apples so that Lucy can make more pies.

Or something. That’s lame, I know, but I’m on a time budget here and didn’t want to use one of my real-world examples because reasons.

Great Titles

Great titles are intriguing and catchy and indicative of the story.

“Lucy Alvarez” is a boring title. It doesn’t make me want to read it because there’s no spark there.

“Lucy’s Adventures In Baking” is at least a little more descriptive? But still boring. Unless your readers already know who Lucy is, you’re driving readers away instead of drawing them in.

Twist

A TWIST title would NOT be “Unicorns are immune to poison”.

That would GIVE AWAY the twist and ruin the story. Instead, what you want is something that’s like … it’s like a shared in-joke for all of the people who know what the twist is. It’s a gift for the reader AFTER they’ve already read the story.

“Pure Poison” might be too subtle, but it hints at the twist rather nicely. Unicorns neutralize poison with their purity — a fact you’d want to make very clear in the story in order for the title to work. It also hints at the anger of the villain and (of course) the poison in the apple.

“Poison Apples” kind of works? But it feels very boring and could apply to rather a lot of stories, couldn’t it?

Hook

The HOOK is the reason your story makes a reader’s perk up (so to speak). It’s always right up at the front of the story, and is often the spark that made you want to write the story in the first place.

“A Very Witchly Baking Contest” would be an example of this. We indicate the witch AND the baking, thus drawing a parallel that isn’t very common and intriguing two different kinds of readers.

Theme

With the punishment at the end of the story, I assume the theme is something along the lines of “what goes around comes around”, so titles like “Karma’s Poison” or “Karma’s Apples” might work.

(Though I feel like Karma’s Poison should be used for something a lot more epic than this little ditty).

Summary

When you find yourself grasping for a title, try analyzing these three aspects of your story and looking for something that feels right to you. It may not always help, but I’ve found it to be a great comfort once I realized that sharing stories with other people often meant they were stuck with the title I gave them, even if that title was pretty awful.

My Favorites

My favorite titles are typically the Hook titles, which is reflected in the fact that I just LOVE story hooks. Holly Lisle favors Twist titles, which work out very well for her. Some of the Saucy Ink folks write with moral values firmly in hand and their Theme titles reflect this careful choice.

THE TAXIDERMIST was a hook title. The hook for the story was the main character being a taxidermist for magical creatures (I took advantage of the fact that the short story collection was called “The Unicorns” in order to imply the magical bit.

LOVE’S CHAMPION, on the other hand, was actually a Twist title. (Hint: Aphrodite is the goddess of love).

Your Turn

What types of titles are your favorites? Can you think of better titles than the examples I gave for Lucy’s story?

Related posts:

Story Dissection and Evaluation
Saucy Chronicles 1: The Unicorns Now Available!
Holly Lisle’s Short Story Anthology

[Perry] Perrypocalypse 2013

Gather round children.

It’s storytime.

So we’d been bouncing back and forth the idea of getting together for a while, just for kicks. The opportunity came up and was offered around the time of a long weekend up here in Canadia and I jumped on it.

Little did I know what I was in for…

Episode 1: Wherein I am stopped at security.

So I had this idea, a vision. Given that Tami and Steven were gluten free and lived in what was basically a fairly white area, I figured that the chance that they’d had any decent home-cooked Korean food was pretty slim to none.

I took it upon myself to educate them.

I figured out a good, simple dish that I could make that was also gluten free and gleaned the recipe and directions from my mother.

Here was the rub, though. The recipe also called for the use of a Korean spice, a very common Korean spice, but one that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find there.

Tami DID mention that they did have a “World Foods” sort of store nearby that we could look for it in but I was doubtful. I took it upon myself to eliminate doubt by buying a bottle of the stuff and bringing it along with me.

This was a decision that I almost came to regret most highly.

When going through security on the way out there, I got stopped during the security screening process where they essentially asked me, “What the hell is that?”

I explained that it was a common Korean spice…but the lady who was scanning me SNAPPED ON A PAIR OF RUBBER GLOVES, took the bottle and wandered off, telling me that she had to consult with her supervisor.

WHAT THE SHIT?

Anytime something like this happens in an airport, you get worried. I got worried. Looking over, I could see the lady coming back, surrounded by a…a…coterie, of 3-4 people. They were arguing, and gesturing, and waving my little bottle of spice around the place.

I’d just started thinking that this whole bring my own spice thing was totally a bad idea when the lady finally returned, telling me that I was okay to go.

What in the hell? Did they think I was going to…what? Threaten the plane with a Korean spice? Maybe they thought it was like a Korean weapon of choice or something, I’ve no goddamned clue. But holy shit, was I ever nervous.

At the end of the day, I’m pretty sure that the only thing that kept me from getting violated by an angry lady with a rubber glove is the fact that the spice bottle still had the seal on it that showed that it hadn’t been opened yet.

Otherwise….*gulp*

Episode 2: Mulled Apple Cider

You know what? If the mountain won’t come to Muhammad, Muhammad must go to the mountain!

With the mulled apple cider post, I tried, and tried, AND TRIED to get Tami to take a fun picture of her menacing an apple…but she just flat out refused.

So when I finally arrived, I brought with me the most nervous apple ever, Julio (appropriately dubbed by Tami).

Then I totally guilt-tripped her.

“I’ve come ALL the way to Wisconsin AND I brought my own apple for you to menace. Are you really going to say no to a picture?”

You’re welcome, guys.

Episode 3: Spicy Korean Chicken

See, here’s the problem.

My mother is one of those…’cook by feel’ sort of peoples. So when I confirmed the ingredients and directions from her, they were some pretty vague instructions.

I did the best I could though.

We went out shopping for ingredients and you could have blown me over with a feather when I saw the size of the damned liquor store they visited.

Seriously, you could fit some of the grocery stores in Toronto into the size of their liquor store. Filled with all sorts of gag inducing flavors like glazed donut vodka…and what was another one? Saltwater taffy vodka? Something like that? *shudder*

Anyway, we stopped by the actual grocery store afterward (which, hilariously, was the same size as the damned liquor store) to pick up everything needed for the dish I wanted to make.

Now, I’m not much of a cook. So there was a bit of an emergency when I realized the pot I was using was too large (yes, Tami, I know I should have asked for a pan instead. Shush) and that it had turned more soupy than saucy. But the day was saved with Tami and Steven’s expertise, soupy level reduced and a delicious meal was had by all!

Korean spicy chicken invasion was a complete success!

Episode 4: Games Night

So explain this to me.

Explain to me how an APPLE, with NO control over the cards he’s playing, can hold his freaking own against TWO writers and a worldbuilder while playing Cards Against Humanity.

Explain this to me, because I don’t fucking understand.

What’s worse is that he even did pretty decently on the double word prompts and the multi-word prompts!

What in the hell?!

Julio is clearly possessed by a malevolent English spirit.

On an unexpected note?

Moore Manor is CLEARLY some form of ‘gangsta’ headquarters according to this picture:

(You can’t see it but my face is totally echoing Julio’s right now)

Episode 5: House on the Rock

Mind. Fucking. Blown.

This place? Is totally inspirational, boggling, terrifying, and delightfully, whimsically glorious, all at the same goddamned time.

Random Asian architecture and design choices? Check!

World’s largest carousel…INDOORS? Check!

Massive 4-5 story tall model of a whale fighting a giant squid? Check!

CREEPY PORCELAIN CLOWN DOLL COLLECTION? Checkcheck!

Man…you want instruments that play themselves? You want to walk an area that looks like it’s been pulled from Columbia (Bioshock Infinite)? You want to look up and see a whole bunch of half naked angels? You want to see a massive collection of dollhouses?

Checkcheckcheck!

The bulk of the pictures of my trip came from there and you’re welcome to peruse the gallery at your leisure (the link to said gallery will be at the bottom).

Suffice to say that when Tami mentioned mind-melting, she really wasn’t freaking kidding.

The first half of the house is just so damned bizarre and incredible that by the time you get to the end…and you see a tree made of giant drums or you see the four horsemen of the apocalypse hanging overhead…it just doesn’t phase you.

You really just ‘meh’ about it, your mind is just so damned fatigued.

Fun thing, though?

There was an interesting reaction between the low lighting, the flash on my camera, and the reflective Nike strips on my shoes.

Suffice to say? A lot of the pictures of ME within the House on the Rock made me feel like some sort of superhero.

Tell me that I’m wrong XD:

Episode 6: Watchin’ Stuffs

There were many things watched.

Tami’s listed out the stuff we watched. Generally speaking, I think that I enriched their lives with the things I shared.

Hearing them laugh out loud and just generally have a fantastic time while watching mindless action gems like, Shoot Em Up and Fright Night was a wonderful feeling.

Also, seeing that they shared my thoughts on how Chronicle was a powerful, hard-hitting movie was also very satisfying.

In return, they shared with me things like Idiocracy (slightly horrifying and brain hurty), Slammin’ Salmon (WONDERFUL movie with the most quotable goddamned lines, EVER), and…

Well…there’s a gap in my memories.

There’s about thirty minutes of time that I blanked out for.

If they’d taken a picture of me during it, you would have seen me huddled up on the Reading chair (more on that beautiful piece of furniture later), hugging a cushion tightly to my chest, half hiding my face behind it.

That blanked out thirty minutes…it haunts me. I just remember snippets of some…horror. A terror from the deep.

Named Old Gregg.

I was traumatized, and Steven, in return for being the initiator of the traumatizing offered me a hug to make it all better XD.

Hey, what can I say? The man can totally hug ^^.

Episode 7: National Mustard Festival

Apparently, this is a fucking thing now?

Do you have any idea how disconcerting it is to look out the window as you’re having a nice breakfast to see a human-sized mustard container dancing in the street with little kids?

Look!

Episode 8: Olbrich Gardens

Neato place!

The gardens I remember going to when I was younger in my area were more…orderly. More paths and less little nooks and crannies you can wander around where you’re surrounded by plants.

So pretty nice experience. A lot of nice scenery.

There was a damned duck that I was trying to get Julio to take a picture with, but it kept waddling away from me as I crept up on it.

Apparently? My ninja skills totally need work.

Who can forget the random, gold-leaf covered Thai pagoda in the center of the garden? Completely apropos of nothing?

And sensitive flowers?

Did you guys know there are plants that look normal but when you brush against them or touch them, they close up?

Because they’re awesome.

Episode 9: Tami’s Reading Chair

Yes, this totally deserves its own episode because it’s THAT, goddamned awesome.

Honestly, I took one look at this chair and I scoffed at it.

I SCOFFED at this chair.

I told Tami that it was one of the ugliest chairs I’d ever seen.

She nodded at the comment and then gestured to the chair.

“Sit on it.”

So with a haughty expression on my face, I sat down on the chair…

…and it fucking HUGGED my FREAKING soul.

I was lost.

It’s just the right level of mushy. You sit down and sink into its depths and there’s just no escape. You sit and the chair hugs you back.

And to top it off? Mushy cushions? Cushions that are just mushy enough that they can handle a good squeezing and firm enough that you can hug one and rest your chin on the end of it for head support?

Oh my gooses, I totally wanted to take this chair back home with me, AT LEAST one of the cushions…

It’s soft enough that you TOTALLY know that it’s doing horrendous things to your posture, but you’re just so damned comfortable that you don’t give a damn.

I’m going to miss Tami and Steven, for sure, but honestly?

I almost miss that chair more… >.>”

Episode 10: Miscellaney

Moore Manor is covered in textures. Soft, warm carpeting in most places and RUGS on top of their carpets in places! Layered textures for the win.

Tami’s various wall-hanging knickknacks make for fascinating house browsing.

Steven has a little scene of Colossus about to do battle with Juggernaut.

The bed of Tami of Steven stands like…three and a half feet off the floor lol.

Steven has also shared many stories of Tami’s sleep-talking habits and they’re utterly hilarious.

Moore Manor has a veritable Tower O’ Death that you can see from their house. Apparently, if you get close enough to the top, you’ll DIE.

Roundabouts can be terrifying.

Tami’s car is spacious.

Fuck you, Wisconsin airport (and Detroit airport for that matter) and your lack of complimentary wi-fi.

Steven provides awesome hugs.

Moore Manor is an Apple zone. PCs are apparently heretics within these hallowed halls.

Homemade wines (especially one of them) tastes amazing.

Farmer’s markets are filled with fascinating produce.

Unicorns running rampant all over Wisconsin (moo).

Epilogue

You know, at this point in my life, I’ve met up with a lot of people that I’d originally run into online.

Some of them have been awkward and some of them have been…just, totally not what I was expecting.

Tami and Steven invited me over, made me welcome in their homes and they’re basically the exact same people that you meet online.

It was a fantastic trip with gracious hosts and madcap, happyfuntimes.

Totally hoping to do it again someday ^^

PS: If anyone was interested, there’s a photo gallery from my trip up for your perusal =D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand OPEN!!!

 

Related posts:

A Wild Perry Has Appeared!
[Perry] How to Create Mulled Apple Cider
[Perry] Choose Fanfiction – Beginnings

A Wild Perry Has Appeared!

GUYS, GUYS.

Perry came to visit me.

You know, the guy who posts here on Wednesdays? Yeah. That Perry.

He’s been a fan since the Egotistical Priest days, so that’s. Well. That’s a thing, ain’t it?

Right. So. Basically? Moore Manor was invaded by a Canadian for four days.

Moose smell terrible.

(I kid, I kid)

We did a whole bunch of stuff, which Perry’s companion post likely covers in better detail (and is almost certainly accompanied by photographic evidence).

Oh yes, Perry managed to take multiple pictures of me while he was here. I’m still not sure how he managed that.

However, since I don’t know what HE is going to write, I’ll give you the highlights from my point of view.

Julio

Remember this post about Mulled Apple Cider? Well, Perry finally got the last laugh, because he brought an apple with googly eyes. And not just eyes. Oh no. This apple already wore the most nervous, concerned expression I’d ever seen on produce.

He got the picture of me menacing the apple that he’d wanted way back when he wrote the post, but the apple (newly dubbed “Julio”) joined us for all of our shenanigans, inserting himself into most of the photos from Perry’s visit.

House on the Rock

First stop? House on the Rock (in Spring Green, WI).

I’ve been once before, but I’d forgotten at least a quarter of the stuff inside. Mind-melting. That’s what it was like. Childlike wonderment had given way to a brain puddle where my awe circuits used to be.

Streets of Yesterday was still one of my favorite exhibits. An entire small town street, circa 1800, built indoors with trees and cobblestones and tiny shops.

The whale fighting the octopus? Just. Wow. Wow. Awe-inspiring takes a whole new meaning.

The carousel. OH, the carousel! Such incredible workmanship, and yet. And yet there was SO MUCH of it that it was impossible to give it the adoration it truly deserved.

Phantom orchestras. Dazzling drops seen through a thin plate of glass. Enchanted forests.

By the time we reached the creepy doll carousel and the clown displays, I didn’t even have the energy to be terrified.

We spent the rest of the day in a haze, watching movies and trying to remember which direction was up.

Movies

We watched a lot of different things. We re-watched Wreck-It Ralph, which was even better than I remembered. Perry showed us Fright Night. We showed him The Slammin’ Salmon. He showed us Chronicle. We countered with Idiocracy. He presented Ted. We punished him with an episode of the Mighty Boosh.

It’ll grow on him. Like a mold or fungus, perhaps, but he’ll be quoting Old Gregg by the end of the year. JUST YOU WAIT.

Olbrich Gardens

We visited Olbrich Botanical Gardens, a frequent haunt of Mr. Moore and myself. Perry was a willing companion, and I think maybe he liked it well enough to seek something similar up in Canuckistan.

Also? Best of all, he kept making up little stories about the plants and the Fairy Queen, sharing them with delightful abandon.

Cupcakes

Cupcakes were eaten. Pie also. And cakepops.

I am probably a bad influence, but I can’t even pretend to care. CUPCAKES.

Food

Perry smuggled authentic Korean spice into our country. Apparently it was quite touch-and-go as to whether or not the seasoning would be allowed through customs.

Perry was probably in danger of a cavity search.

Thankfully, after much hand-waving and argumentation, the sealed canister of red pepper powder was allowed through, much to our delight.

Why delight? Because Perry cooked for us.

I have now had something extremely similar to Dak Do Ree Tang. It was delightful and had the perfect level of burn.

We’d intended to reciprocate with some spicy peanut butter noodles, but alas, we ran out of time (and ate at too many restaurants) to offer it.

Chair

Perry did not manage to steal my chair. Those of you who have visited me recently know the chair of which I speak. It’s the brown-and-orange paisley beast lovingly known as the “Reading Chair” and it comes equipped with not one but TWO pillows of glorious squishiness.

I’m pretty sure that the moment Perry entered the house, he magically acquired one of those pillows, in a magnet-like fashion. The pillow would not leave his side until such time as he was reluctantly required to exit the house and abandon his beloved chair and pillows.

I can’t blame him. It’s an incredible chair.

Overall

Perry did far more dishes than a guest should ever do, but he assured me that as both Korean AND Canadian, he was (and I quote), “the perfect storm of politeness” and I had better well accept his help.

He even left money stashed around the guest room because we kept not letting him pay for things!! *flail* (as if his plane ticket wasn’t expensive enough!)

He was a lovely, fantastic guest and I am so very, very glad we were finally able to meet.

Related posts:

[Perry] How to Create Mulled Apple Cider
Blog Housekeeping
[Perry] Perry’s Review of The Unremembered

Adventures In Creation: Available Now!

Available in both Kindle and Paperback, the short story collection my story won 2nd place in can be yours!

My own copy of the paperback is on its way to my happy little hands (expect a longer post when I read through the offerings) but you don’t need to wait for me to finish reading!

 

Related posts:

Choose: Volume 1 Available
[Bill Denise] Adventures in Writing
Volume 2 of Choose Now Available for Purchase!

[Perry] Good Bad Movies and Bad Bad Movies

Let not the labyrinthine title fool you!

There’s a very specific thing we’ll be covering in today’s post.

So recently, I’ve had the dubious pleasure of watching a movie called The FP and Sharknado.

One of these movies was a good bad movie. The other was a bad bad movie.

Watching these movies got me thinking, you know? To be sure, both of these movies are comparatively low budget affairs and you can tell (you can REALLY tell).

Both of these movies will seriously damage your brain.

BUT?

Despite all of these factors, one of these movies made for a hilarious good time with friends while the other just made me cringe and resolve to never watch movies again.

The FP was campy, overthetop and utterly ridiculous…but fun. Look at that trailer again and listen to some of that dialogue. The guys that made this movie knew exactly what they were making and they owned up to it.

These guys…they knew that the premise of their movie was utterly ridiculous. They knew that none of it really made sense and was just…completely silly, but they ran with it anyway.

Boy, did they ever run with it. There’s a bit of a monologue halfway through the movie where the asian Tonto character tells Jtro what’s been happening in the town since he’s been gone?

Lord Almighty, someone nominate that man for an award or something because there is just about no way I’d be able to get through those lines with a straight face.

That and the way the main character and his love interest constantly greet each other?

That and the victory ______ that they use to end off the movie on a hilarious note? (Tami, you know what I’m talking about)

Instant campy classic for me.

On the other hand? Let’s take a look at Sharknado.

Utterly ridiculous concept…just like The FP!

Very low budget affair…just like The FP!

Has fun with itself…just like The–no, wait a minute.

Herein lies the difference.

The FP knows that it’s utterly ridiculous and embraces the concept. When you watch this movie (and you SHOULD watch this movie), you’re going to hear lines that make you groan. You’re going to hear lines that will make you blink and wonder, “did they actually just say that?”. You’re going to see things, utterly random things, that’ll make you want to come back here and slap me upside the head for ever telling you that this movie existed (and I will then transfer those slaps to Tami for ever telling ME that this movie existed).

And despite ALL of this, the movie remains light and hilarious.

Despite one of the most overly dramatic training montages I’ve ever seen, or the sweeping, Shakespeare worthy romance (lol), the movie knows that it’s hokey and just plays. It. UP.

Sharknado doesn’t do this.

This is surprising, really, because you see a movie like Sharknado and you really think that’s exactly what they’re going to do.

C’mon, a movie about a tornado? Full of freaking SHARKS? How is that NOT a recipe for a campy good time?

But they don’t do that.

They take this utterly ridiculous concept with their super low budget and they try to take it seriously.

None of the actors have any memorable lines or speeches (certainly nothing that compares to the thing about ducks from The FP).

None of the actors can really…well, act. But they try…they try to be serious and to take the threat of the sharknado seriously. It’s really cringe-worthy to watch.

Consistency is an issue as well.

The FP, as ridiculous as it was, it was coherent.

Sharknado was…not.

One moment the streets will be flooded deep enough for sharks to be swimming down the street, and in the very next scene, the streets will be bone dry.

One moment it’ll be bright and sunny, the next it’ll be dark and cloudy, and two seconds later? Bright and sunny again!

These inconsistencies are jarring and jolt you out of what minimal spell the movie is able to weave around you.

You’re left unsatisfied with a bad taste in your mouth.

It could have been special. They could have been a little more tongue-in-cheek about it and a little more aware of their limitations, but they weren’t.

They played Sharknado right down the straight and narrow and that, more than anything else, killed the brilliant dreams of what it could have been.

 

Related posts:

[Perry] Pacific Rim
[Perry] Wherein Not All Things Need To Be Ambitious
[Perry] Fight Scenes!

LINK : Your App Makes me Fat

I know, I know. I’ve been doing a lot of super short posts lately. You think you’d be grateful, given the critworthy walls of text I usually treat you to.

Well, this time, I’ll let someone else do the critting.

SeriousPony writes, “Your app makes me fat” and I recommend that all of you read it.

Most of you, I recommend because the message of “willpower and cognitive processing draw from the same pool of resources” will resonate pretty deeply. Regardless of whether that resonance is because you often feel too drained to write or paint or create (or heck, play with your kids) OR because you keep cheating on your diet or resolutions, despite having the very firmest of willpower in the morning.

A few of you will also appreciate the implications for UX design.

There’s at least one of you who will appreciate the fact that most of the website is dedicated to Icelandic ponies. (you know who you are)

Pretty much all of you will like the name “SeriousPony” and the fact that the blog post is illustrated with cartoons and pictures of puppies.

That last is an assumption, but don’t disabuse me of the notion that the entire planet loves puppies.

Go forth! Read! Discuss over here, since they have comments closed over there.

*waves her hands at her not-moving-very-fast progress widget in the sidebar* Personally? I agree. The question for me is how I’m going to utilize that information.

Related posts:

Broken Link Checker
[Perry] Cartoons for Grown-Ups
Being a Writer Makes It More Difficult To Be a Reader

Art : Bikini Bulldog on a Beach With a Strawberry Daquiri

Seriously, how would YOU name this?

More practice with digital art, and honestly my favorite piece that I’ve done so far. It was originally going to be an apology sketch for (yet another) piece of mangled art but at the last moment I decided to use it for practice. (It’s a specific bulldog, so without the colors, it was missing some delightful aspects of personality)

I’ll be posting more and more art, so I hope you guys don’t mind. The practice is for a SUPER SEEKRIT project.

Related posts:

A New Project Appears!
Catnip Stupor

[Perry] Lament of The Wolverine

Word to the wise, the not so wise, and everyone in between: 

The following post is a very well-behaved post and does not contain spoilers for the recent Wolverine movie save for the things you can glean from the trailers.

The comments section tends to be a bit of a rebel and quite the unruly brat so tread yonder at your own risk.

EDIT: THE COMMENTS SECTION HAS SPOILERS (to make it absolutely clear ^^)

So recently, I hied myself off to yon theater to check out the latest of latest flickytoons.

I was hoping for glory and honor.

I was hoping for at least a little bit more blood to clawing action ratio.

I was hoping for more shirtless Hugh Jackman…don’t judge me. Even as a perfectly straight guy, I can appreciate the work that goes into getting into THAT kind of shape!

Out of my hopes? I got one of those things.

Hugh Jackman is totally ripped.

Look at what he had to do to get there!

But ignoring the veins popping out on his arms like a roadmap, there’s a deeper problem that I wanted to talk about.

Here’s the thing…I don’t walk into McDonalds expecting fine dining, right? I don’t climb into my battered Hyundai, expecting it to take off like an italian sports car.

I don’t walk into a superhero movie expecting a mind-blowing film.

It’d be a wonderful surprise if it DOES do it, to be sure…but I don’t go in expecting it to happen.

This is what happened:

Imagine you walk into a restaurant…and a well-groomed maître d’hôtel with a thin, curled mustache takes your coat and escorts you to your table. Imagine he seats you and your date. The atmosphere is soft and cozy, oozing the kind of opulence that doesn’t rely on ostentation. Imagine that the lighting is soft and muted. Imagine the low background mutter of conversation you can hear from other diners all around you. Imagine the server (impeccably dressed, I might add) returns and reads out to you the day’s specials.

He asks if you would like the Big Mac or the cheeseburger combo and whether or not you want extra large fries with your order.

This, more than anything else, is how I sum up my experience watching The Wolverine.

Honestly, I think that I enjoyed the first Wolverine movie more than this new one.

Don’t get me wrong.

This new Wolverine movie is better than the first one in just about every single way.

But there’s an important thing to consider.

The first Wolverine movie, I was walking into McDonalds, right from the get-go, you know? I knew what I was getting and the movie never really misled me. It was just…the familiar yellow glow of the big ole M and and array of people at the counter, asking me if I’d like fries with that.

The NEW Wolverine movie, though? The new Wolverine sits you down at a prestigious four star restaurant…then it offers you a Happy Meal.

Based on the trailers and the first twenty minutes of the movie, I was expecting something wonderful. I was expecting the story of a man who was essentially immortal. A man who didn’t age and couldn’t be killed. A man who essentially watched helplessly over the years as those he loved passed away of violence and old age while there was nothing at all he could do to save them.

I was expecting the story of a man, struggling with guilt and grief, being offered a way out.

I was expecting a movie where Wolverine is presented with the choice and struggles with it, torn between wanting it and feeling that he was giving up. I figured that we’d get a movie where he spent the time debating the choice and meeting new people on the way. I figured he’d learn of the way of the samurai and the code of Bushido, embracing it and realize that to simply give up was not in his nature.

Alternatively, I was also expecting a movie where he agrees to the offer, finally choosing to set down his heavy burden. I figured maybe after the operation is successful, he’d try to live out life as a normal mutant in Japan…when maybe he meets a woman. Maybe he dares to fall in love again. Maybe something happens to her and in order to save her, he realizes that he needs his abilities. In acknowledging that need, he chooses to reverse the procedure (learning that it’s a one-time thing and that he can never go back to being mortal!!) and shoulders the burden of his immortality once more.

That was the promise the movie made me.

Do you know what I got instead?

I got a movie about a prominent Japanese family, dealing with some Yakuza troubles, so there’s some political maneuverings and new science to help the powerful family fend off the attacks and assassination attempts.

…oh yeah, and Wolverine gets randomly mixed into their affairs…sort of.

Why was I so much more disappointed with this new movie than the first one?

Because the first one didn’t really have potential to be more than what it was. It was a cheesy, plothole ridden, campy mess and it never aspired to anything more. It never had a mask on, you know what I mean?

This new one though?

Ye gods and little fishes, did it EVER have potential.

It could have been a fascinating character study of a man who was bent over backward with the weight of immortality.

It could have been  a wondrous look at the strength of the character, Wolverine’s sheer drive and will to push forward when he repeals his immortality to save the ones he loves.

It could have been directed by Aron Aronofsky, who’s responsible for movies like The Fountain, Black Swan, and Requiem for a Dream (he was directing and working on the project before he dropped out a few months in).

Can you imagine what this movie could have been?

I don’t think that it would have been overly grimdark in tone. At the end of the day, no matter which director is at the helm, it’s still a Marvel movie. It’s an X-Men movie and there’s a certain level of humor and campiness that’s needed in order to make superhero movies work…

…But it could have had a lot more emotional weight. It could have held a message about the potential consequences of the choices we make. It could have reminded us of the nobility of sacrificing that which you want, above all else, in order to save the ones you love.

It could have been something unique and beautiful…and instead?

Instead, it chose the safe and easy path.

It chose not to take risks and to just make the ‘safe’ movie.

And I get it. I really do. When you’re working with budgets that huge, there are focus groups and there are a lot of fingers in the pie, eager to ensure that their investment is protected and that the movie appeals to as wide and shallow a pool as possible to make sure it rakes in the dough.

But in taking the safe route, they give up the chance at glory.

They really had the chance here to be…sort of like The Dark Knight of Marvel movies. They had a powerful, driven character and a story that would have explored a weighty emotional issue and could have left a message that would resound in our heads days after we walked out of the theater.

And they gave it up.

Instead of a gloriously perfect twelve ounce steak with all of the sides and a lovely glass of red, we got a couple chicken nuggets and a large Coke and were told to be satisfied that we got food at all.

I think I’d rather stay hungry.

 

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[Perry] World War Z
[Perry] Hidden Character Aspects

Art : Eddy Lurves Squirrels

More practice with the digital art

This one was more along the lines of a quick doodle than anything else. Practicing with going from sketch to finished product digitally, as quickly as possible. More practice shading and getting some simple techniques down.

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