Emily Cook's Blog, page 27

open, eyes!

I don't know if it's the busyness of the season, or just a season for me personally, but my eyes are having trouble staying open to grace lately.  I'm finding myself overwhelmed, stressed, and resentful far too often.

I've been writing less. I would I could honestly say I've been listening more, but that is not necessarily true. I've just been doing more, doing other things.  And napping. That's important too, of course.

...........

One day, I was napping, and someone somewhere was too loud, so I got up to rebuke.  I tiptoed in the living room (so as not to wake daddy and the younger two), hissing rebuke on my lips... "WHO is making that noise?" wide-eyed Lorraine and Marcus met me, quickly telling me it must be Aggie making a tent in the basement.

But my hissing melted away before I had completed that sentence. For they were in dress up clothes: Lorraine and Marcus. Lorraine, in a flowing vintage dress, and Marcus, in his best suit, too small, but still adorable. He called it his "Batman suit" when he wore it last Easter, and he refuses to hand it down. "We're putting on a play," they said, when they noticed me noticing, noticed my hiss turned to silly grin.

After they promised to show me the play later, I went back to bed. Our bedroom was warm from the electric heater and it smelled like the Yankee Christmas candle burning.

Daddy, asleep, and two little boys on the floor, finally asleep after too much tossing and turning.  So much warmth in that room. I lay down under the warmth, without covers. I thought of the boy in his suit, the shining grace of that one moment: brother and sister, playing, creating, imagining, and the grace that opened my eyes and allowed me to see them as more than just noise, nap-interrupters.


(see full image)
Oh Lord, open my eyes,
that they may behold your goodness in this place,
in the waiting,
and in Jesus, come to be with us.

Grant me the faith to know that the world will not stop if I do,
that it is OK to nap,
that it will be OK even if it doesn't all get done,
and that I am your dear child, welcomed into Your rest,
because of Your great mercy
Amen

reach for it

How strong a cord seems —until your life slips off the edge of a cliff and you lunge for something to hold on to. One braid of fibers enough to hold you —that’s your literal only hope. You know it with startling clarity in that moment —how there’s only a singular cord in this knotted mess of a world worth reaching for. It’s dangling right there from our impossible tangle, and it’s the one hope you need to reach for this Advent. 

That scarlet lifeline of Christ.

Voskamp, The Greatest Gift

Recommended

"God teaches us to pray by sending needy people to make demands on us." Kleinig (And snow days.)

Between snow days and sickness, I've had little time for writing this week.  

Drinking with the Dead: Country Music and the Communion of Saints
On the ache for lost loved ones, and the foretaste

The Uncivilized
A call into the wilderness

Familiarity Breeds Comprehension: What a trail taught me about the liturgy
yet one more profound writing by Chad L. Bird.

A note from Chad:
If you enjoy my writings, please consider purchasing my newly published book, The Infant Priest:  Hymns and Poems.  This poetry gives voice to the triumphs and tragedies of life in a broken world.  Whether you weep, rejoice, struggle, or hope, through these hymns and poems you can speak to God with honesty and fidelity.  By buying a copy, you will also aid mission work, for 25% of the proceeds from book sales go to benefit Lutherans in Africa.  Click here to purchase your copy.  (Also on Amazon)


No good thing
Words from Ann Voskamp

For fun: 
How to make ice cream from snow 
A glimpse into my mess (on the family blog)
Glass candy: Easy and good!
Dancing with and Ipod in Public

Must listen- you will be swept up!
Angels we have heard (Piano Guys)
Little Drummer Boy
Charlie Brown Medley (at the old folks home! so sweet!)



Happy Advent!

Laughter

The gigantic secret gift that He gives and we unwrap that we never stop unwrapping--- we who were barren now graced with teh Child who lets us laugh with relief for all eternity.
  There is nothing left to want. There is nothing left to fear: "All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."  And his for you never will. 
So loosen up, because the chains have been loosed, and laugh the laughter of the freed.  
Laugheter-- it's all oxygenated grace.
-- Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift

The Ultimate (imaginary) Christmas Wish List for moms

What do I want for Christmas? My mother keeps asking me. I’d like to tell her something good, something that would really make my everyday life easier. But so far, I have not found any of these items on Amazon.  But, still, a girl can dream...

A nagging parrotTrained to say, at appropriate times of day, “Did you brush your teeth? Make the bed? Zip your zippers? Practice the piano? What’s 3 x 5? Do you have any homework?)
A BS Indicator lightA tiny lie-detector to be worn by the children. A red light flashes when child is faking a tummy ache, an injury, innocence, etc. If BS does not dissapate after 5 minutes, the BS alarm wails until child assumes humble position in designated time-out location.
An encouraging parrot“Yes, I see your picture, mmm hmmm, good job honey, that’s a great trick on the monkey bars…” Oh, and it should be able to spell, too.
Sleep dustSelf explanatory. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be allowed have this because I would overuse it.
A cone of silenceFor big mommy fits, or, just for… silence. Ahhhhhhh…
A Pause Button for LifeSo I can dwell in those sweet lovey blankie snuggle sigh blessedly blessed moments and so that I can control a runaway temper. Maybe I could take a quick run on the treadmill while the children are “paused” instead of yelling at them. Or I could go sit by the pond. Or have a beer. Or put my feet up. Shoot, I’d overuse this one too, obviously.
Lifeline- phone a friendI can phone a friend now, I know, but this magical lifeline would allow me to phone a friend AND keep the kids quiet and out of trouble for the duration of the phone call.
A personal force fieldFor those days when I just need a little space. I wouldn’t wear the force field every day, I promise. And the outside of it doesn’t HAVE to shock intruders. It just has to keep them out of my personal space, by any means necessary.
A drain in the middle of my dining room floor(And a high-powered hose.) After dinner clean up made simple.
Portable, adjustable, invisible fence for childrenSmall range at the grocery store, then a larger range of play at the park… All the safety without the trouble of a “leash.”
Wireless turn-taking systemBecause I just can’t keep track of it all.
Library books with voicesTrained so that, two days before they are due, they start hollering reminders at me from under beds, behind dressers, and in backpacks. (Important: must have an “off” switch.)
Magnetic Shoe Locating systemWhen mom turns the switch “on,” each child’s feet and shoes are paired perfectly, even if the shoes were downstairs under the couch. (Be sure doors are open before you turn the switch “on!” Some parents have reported finding their child stuck to a door with his shoe on the other side!)
Air hooks and air shelves
Keep things out of their reach, anytime, anywhere.
Whine sprayAn air modification tool, designed to teach children to take long, slow, calm breaths and use quiet, calm words. Those who do not adapt sneeze and/or hiccup uncontrollably until they do.
A backup teamWhen it’s really out of control- a child throwing up, another on my leg, another running towards the road, another with hurt feelings, another laughing at everybody, and the dog attacking the UPS man— push a button, and certified childcare providers climb in the windows and repel from the celiling.
------------Which of these would you choose?Anything to add to my list?

Bored? Restless? (A Book Review: Boring by Michael Kelley)

Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life by Michael Kelley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars


There are wonders all around me, and yet I find myself bored, restless. Why is this? Is it simply the hardness of my heart? Can I blame the extra caffeine for my apparent inability to sit with a child, to do a puzzle, to watch the light of learning dance in his eyes? Why, sometimes, do I find myself unable to rejoice in this small thing?

Some days I can write beautifully about motherhood because I can see the beauty in it; in the children God has made, in my hands, being His hands, used to care for them. We make up pretend names, we smile, we pretend and play until the day ends and we are tired but happy.

And yet some days, my soul seems to have grown old. Old and boring. Old and bored. As if the miracle of the soul happening in front of me-- the little boy, sharing cheerfully with the other little boy-- is something I’ve seen a hundred times, something not worth celebrating, something as boring as one little blade of grass in my front yard.

It was on a day like this that I received Michael Kelly’s book. It was good medicine for my soul.

In it, he argues, “We find ourselves bored in life not because of the absence of the extraordinary but because of our paralyzing lack of vision.” (40)

Michael Kelley addresses his newest book to the average person, the one who feels ordinary, small, and perhaps, bored. He implores us to open our eyes, to see God working in and through our lives, in the major life events, in the kitchen, and in the morning commute. His book helps pry those eyes open.

My favorite part of this book is the concept of “chasing donkeys.” The author retells the story of Saul, and points out how God was in control, leading Saul right into His plan, even in the midst of the most mundane even frustrating daily chores, like chasing donkeys. If God works all things for our good (ie, to make us more like Jesus and draw us closer to Him), does this not include the broken dishwasher in my kitchen? The toddler who needs extra attention?

It does, and Kelley encourages me to see my daily chores with God’s ends in view. Marriage, children, finances; all of these can be seen in a new light, and in general, I thought the author’s insights into these specific areas were helpful. His chapter on church, however, I found lacking. Community and service are important elements of church life, but I wish he would have spoken of those without neglecting the most important reason for church: our need for spiritual nourishment, and reception from God through His Word and Sacraments.

----
After reading this book, I find myself more content with my station in life, and filled with wonder at the work of God around me and in me.

Some are called to a radical life, to be a bright star streaking through the sky. Most of us, however, are simply called to shine in our own little corners, living daily acts of faithfulness, loving God, loving neighbor, giving off a slow, steady, dependable light. And as we do this, we are the hands and feet of an extraordinary God who provides for His people.

I recommend this book to the bored, the restless, and those who long for meaning in the mundane.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

View all my reviews

To earth He came

Sitting next to my kindergartener in church is not always my favorite thing. But I do like it when he draws, when I see him inspired by the banners and the Word and the grace around him.
I remember this day, when he wrote words I really, truly needed to hear.


Baptized into thy name most holy- we are, even MOM is. The frazzled mom who can't get the kids lined up in the pew without losing her patience, with the daughter with tangled hair, with her own tangled heart.
Sitting in the sanctary, words and images swirl around us, Words, and we take them in, breathe them in, let them forgive, renew, and lead us.  And the brother kicks the other brother, and I force a patient-looking smile, hoping it covers up my clenched fist of a heart. 
And even that heart recieves a shower of grace and mercy through the Word.
And I pick up the little one, and we begin to pray together. And just as gratitude begins to melt my heart, he tries to feed me my own hair while I am speaking.  
And mama spits in church.
This God, he lifts up my head, but he does not lift me up out of the struggles of this life.  Instead, He comes here, with us, in the earthly, normal, frustrating things. He's here in the gray areas, here in the daily exasperation, here in the mama heart that wants to rest but has so much to do she doesn't know where to start.  
The sanctuary is a holy place, but He is with us in all places.And so the little boy's mind wanders, and he stops drawing the church banners.  And he draws this:

That's a turkey.  And daddy is shooting the turkey... while he's smoking his pipe.
Daddy is actually up in the pulpit at the moment, but this little boy knows his father does other things when he's not preaching. 
And though it seems so out of place, I smile, because God is there, too.
God is God with us, and more importantly- thanks be to Jesus'- He is God FOR us.God around us and in us, before and behind us, covering us with HIS righteousness and mercy.
And so what is there left for us to do but this?


Live in God's grace. 
In the woods, in the kitchen, in the sactuary, by the bedside, at the mall. 
Live in God's gracein the knowledge of His presencefor us.

aching for slowness

It is almost Thanksgiving, almost Advent, almost Christmas, and there is much to do.. yet I ache for slowness, for rest.  
And it seems impossible, because my list-- it is filled to overflowing, filled with good things, important things, works of love to be poured out on those around me. Giving and doing: these things are important, and I cannot cross them off the list simply because I am overwhelmed, because life is moving too fast, because I can't seem to find time to breathe and just be with so much to do.  If only there were a pause button, so that I could freeze moments, stare at them, dwell in them and enjoy them without feeling like I am simply falling more behind.

The list of good things can drive me like a slave if I let it.  It can consume me and break me. And I know from experience that a mama consumed, a mama broken is not able to serve her family with love.

A welcoming home, and a welcoming lap- can I not have both of these things?

Not in my own strength I can't. I only know how to be a goat, to barrel through, and keep my head down and my feet moving. But feet that never stop-- they step on little toes.  And eyes that look only to the next thing to be done-- they miss the beauty of the falling snow, and the gifts of God outpoured day after day after day, from His heavens.


I don't want to stampede through the holidays. I don't want to miss Him.

So here's hoping for some slowness, for some rest. No, more than hoping- here's praying. Join me, won't you?

Father,
The busy season is upon us again, and it is so easy for us to become slaves to the things of this world. Slow down our pace, Lord, even if only for brief moments each day.  Teach us to rest in You, to dwell with you.  Fill our ears with Your Word, open our eyes to Your presence with us.  Jesus, our refuge from sin and death, be also our refuge from busyness and anxiety.  Dwell in our homes, in our families, in our mealtimes, our parties, and our days of travel.  And by Your grace, help us to see you, God with us, and welcome you in faith and love.  Amen





Recommended reading, for those who desire slowness, and rest in Jesus

The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
Her poetic writing style invites thoughtfulness, rest, and meditation.
Plus, this book includes an optional Jesse tree activity for the children.

The Infant Priest by Chad L. Bird
A collection of powerful poetry and hymns- with vivid (and sometimes shocking) imagery.
I am reading this one slowly and enjoying it thoroughly.

The Sparkle Box

The Sparkle Box by Jill Hardie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary
A child is excited for Christmas and all the toys he will receive. Weeks before Christmas, the boy notices a special sparkly box. His parents do not tell him what is in it. As Christmas approaches, the family performs various acts of kindness. Finally, on Christmas day, the boy is allowed to open the sparkle box. In it are slips of paper detailing those kind acts, and the mother explains, “these are our gifts to Jesus.”

The central message: God delights in our gifts to others, and counts them as gifts to Him. In other words, “as you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.”

Do I recommend this book?
Yes, with certain qualifications. I believe the message is a good one, but must be taught in the context of the full gospel. (We are sinners, saved by grace through Christ, who then learn to give in joyful response to God’s love first received.)

How it could go wrong:
In the book, Jesus is not mentioned until the very end, and then, He is the one receiving the gifts given by the family. If this book is the entire lesson a child receives about Jesus, they will be taught that He is simply someone who expects sacrifice from us, not the One Who made His very life a sacrifice for us.

Further, there is a danger in making lists of good works. If not done carefully, it could lead to self-righteousness, one upmanship, comparing, and all kinds of other problems. Good works ought not to be recorded as if we are trying to keep score.

That said, I do not think either of these errors are intrinsic to the book if it is taught in the proper, Christ-centered context.

Why I like this book:
When the Christmas season comes, I always find myself longing to fight materialism and encourage generosity in my children. And often when I try to do this, I find the children become swept away in the joy of giving, and often, their generosity exceeds my own. I rejoice deeply in this-- this work of God in my children-- and I believe God does as well.

The things I do and teach as a mother help define the word “good” for my children. The sparkle box activity is an excellent opportunity to spell out what is good, what generosity looks like. It encourages the children to see themselves as God’s hands of mercy to the people around them.

My children do not know this, but I have started adding to our own sparkle box. (A cute little box comes with the purchase of this book!) I’ve noted how one child gave sacrificially to a friend in need, and how another simply let his sister have the last piece of garlic bread. I’m watching for acts of kindness both inside and outside this house, and I am getting excited to share these insights with my children.
In this home, the weeks before Christmas will be focused on Jesus: He comes, He seeks, He finds, He dies, He rises, He loves, He protects us. We will bask in His gifts to us and practice receiving His daily help and encouragement in His Word. We will learn and relearn of the new life He has given us, and the ways He helps us overcome sin and love and serve those around us. We will pray that He uses our hands to be a blessing to others, and to glorify Him.

And finally, we will open the sparkle box, and we will rejoice.

In Christ and through Christ, God blesses the works of our hands, our small and imperfect works, and He delights in those works. And (grace upon grace!) He delights in us.

Praise be to Jesus!


View all my reviews

Do you have a favorite Christmas book for children?  What do you think of the sparkle box idea?

Sunday Rest

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone,my hope comes from HimHe alone is my rock and my salvation;He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;He is my mighty rock, my refuge.Trust in Him at all times, O people;pour out your hearts to Him,for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8