Arlene Lagos's Blog, page 15
May 24, 2012
Less Than Zero
The worse thing that ever happened to this country is the invention of the credit card. Or the idea of a credit line for that matter. It’s bad enough to have zero, but now you can be financially worth less than zero!
Our citizens have become dependent on getting whatever they want “now” because they are used to paying for it with invisible money. From the 18-year-old with their first credit card buying college textbooks at 21% interest all the way up to the Federal Government and the Banks giving out home mortgages based on money that they don’t actually have and then charging high interest and late fees or borrowing from China just to get it back. How scary?
What happened to the days where if you wanted something you saved up for it until you could afford it? Or if you were afraid it wouldn’t be there when you did, you put it on layaway? Not today’s citizens. No way. They want everything now now now. They’ll even stand in line at 4am on black Friday to get a big screen TV that they don’t need just because it is on sale. Really? My parents had the same television for 40 years. They didn’t have cell phones yet we communicated just fine. My parents didn’t have to worry about whether or not to pay off their student loans versus putting food on the table because they didn’t take out loans. They only loan they had was on the house which they had been paying off for the past 25 years.
I remember when I was 20 years old, I had just moved to Los Angeles and opened a bank account with Bank of America and without even asking for it they gave me a $10,000 line of credit. Again I was 20… living alone… in Los Angeles. Seriously? What where they thinking? I don’t have to tell you how that tragic story ended.
I’m done with credit cards, bank accounts and mortgages. “If I ain’t got nothing, then I ain’t got nothing to lose”. Everyday I work, I make a profit and I don’t have to worry that my money is only going to pay off a negative balance. I will never again be less than zero. This country thinks we are in a recession headed for a depression. It is our own fault. We don’t value the dollar anymore. We don’t appreciate how to stretch it and we no longer have the ability to ‘wait’ for what we want. Until that changes, we will all be less than zero sooner than later.
May 23, 2012
The Catalyst
In a general sense, anything that increases the rate of a process is a “catalyst”. I’ve come to accept over the years that this is one of my main purposes in life. My job, my contribution to the world. I noticed at a very early age that I would be put in the path of a certain person for reasons I didn’t understand, just to realize later that I was there to help facilitate some change in their life. Whether it be advice, inspiration, or warning; I knew once it happened that it was the sole reason.
Every once is a while I would be surprised to find out that a person who’s path I crossed would be a permanent fixture; a friend for life. Those are the ones that ended up being catalysts for me.
Have you ever found people drifting in and out of your life and wondered how you ever came to meet them? I think of certain people that I would spend days, weeks, months at a time with and then somewhere out of the blue POOF, its over. We aren’t fighting or anything, its just as if the energy in the room that bound us to each other had suddenly left. Then you never seem to be able to find time to visit or get together and you almost NEVER run into each other accidentally. Strange that you wouldn’t keep bumping into someone that you use to see all the time? You’d think having so much in common they’d be everywhere…but somehow they aren’t.
You see, I believe everything happens for a reason and everyone in your life is there on purpose. There are no accidents. Sometimes you have a boss that you can’t stand and you realize that every job you take you have the same boss (so to speak) until one day you wake up and realize that that same boss is also that parent that you never saw eye to eye with. So are you working at that job because you miss that parent? Do you keep taking those jobs to try to win over affection with said parent?
The universe to me is not as much of a mystery as it use to be because I listen very carefully. I know when I meet someone exactly why they are in my life and I am in there’s. I never tell them of course; they’d think I was nuts! But, is it really crazy to be able to foretell an outcome of a situation? I think 80% of the time the outcomes almost always obvious and the other 20% of the time it is luck or error.
So look around you often. Sometimes those people in your life that may seem annoying or needy are there for a reason and they might not be around long, so enjoy it and help them while you can; after all it is your job.
May 22, 2012
Beyond Earth Series Book I & II
Now available for purchase are the first two books of the Beyond Earth Series. Below are summaries of each book as well as a link for purchase. Thank you for following my blog and for your interest in my writing. More great blogs to come!
Verum:Truth
Hidden in the fabric of our own galaxy are five planets, anchored to Earth and thriving with life. Each one unlocks a secret to many destinies that bring seven brave warriors together to fight the ultimate evil set to destroy their existence. In Book One Verum: Truth, Adaminia is your average 25-year-old girl still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up, or so she thinks. Stuck in cube-land and living with her aunt, she wonders if she was ever meant to do more. One day at work, that opportunity presents itself when an odd sound leads her down the hallway and onto another planet. Here she begins the journey on learning the truth about who she is when she travels to Verum and explores the world of Princess Reese, heir to the throne of Verum, setting into motion the path they must travel in order to fulfill their destinies.
Ardor:Love
As the brave warriors continue their search for the heir to the throne of Ardor, a few become infected by the darkness and they begin to battle each other. They question not only their journey, but also where each person’s loyalties lie. WIth growing tensions and mounting questions, they have to cure the planet, crown the king and fight off the darkness before they are consumed by it.
May 18, 2012
Tough Love
Tough Love is the hardest kind of love there is thus, living up to its name. Nobody wants to be the bad guy/gal but when you truly love someone it means saying the things people don’t want to hear in order to help them get past the darkness.
A good friend of mine lost his father many years ago and fell into a deep depression. He barely answered the phone at first and then not at all. He barricaded himself in the house which he now owned but had no idea how to take care of for he was young, had always lived at home, and had no other family. After a month of no response, two of my friends and I beat down the door. He was pissed but probably to depressed to deal with three crazy women.
We found thousands of tissues scattered on the floors, dishes piled so high and filled with so much old dirt and mold that we had to throw them out. An entire room was filled with empty beer bottles and pizza boxes. On the living room floor was a mattress and a pillow where he had been sleeping. He couldn’t sleep in his own room and wouldn’t even go upstairs to the room where his father had died. There were piles of bills that went unpaid and there was no oil in the tank. He must have asked us to leave a million times. He called us many things, most I can’t post here.
Still, he sat and watched angrily as we sanitized the bathrooms, cleaned out the closets, threw away the dishes, returned the bottles, swept, dusted, folded and vacuumed. We went through each bill, called everyone and asked for extensions. We went through his budget and put together a plan. We pulled our money together to put some oil in the tank so it wouldn’t break. When we were done he didn’t say a word. We took the mattress and put it back in his now clean bedroom and moved the dining room table where it once lay.
The next day was thanksgiving and we stayed the night and cooked and decorated. In a cabinet in the living room was a set of dishes. Growing up he was told he couldn’t touch the dishes and so of course when we started taking them out to set the table he panicked. “Nobody is here to tell you what to do, so you need to make your own rules now,” I said. He sat back and watched as we set the table for 12. A few hours passed and more friends had arrived. One of the girls had handed him a bar of soap and shoved him in the bathroom. Another had laid out a suit for him to wear when he got out.
He sat in his room for an entire hour as the house filled with friends and the food was put out on the table. Finally, I went into his room and sat down on the bed next to him. I held out my hand signaling for him to come. “No, I’m staying here,” he said stubbornly. He didn’t want to let go, he wanted to live in his misery. I wondered if we rushed him but then I remembered what the house had looked like and thought about how much worse it would have been had we continued to wait. “If you don’t come out to eat, we’ll bring the party into your room,” I said. He didn’t want that.
He got up and came into the room and sat down. Everyone said hello, wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and began to eat. Halfway through dinner it began to snow and it looked beautiful outside the now cleaned windows. I glanced over and saw him tear up as he ate his food. Later that day, we all went outside and a few of us had a snowball fight while others built a snowman.
“I need stuff to dress up the snowman,” I said to him. He looked at me long and hard and walked over to his father’s closet. I was surprised, he NEVER went in there. Everyone knew that you didn’t touch his father’s stuff. But he was gone now and my friend was beginning to make his own rules. “I think this will do,” he said as he handed me a real pipe, hat, mitten and scarf. We decorated the snowman and when we were done he stepped back and looked at it and replied, “He looks just like my dad”.
That was more than a decade ago. He thought his life was over. Some say he may have even tried to end it himself, we aren’t sure. But now he’s married with a child of his own. I remember going to his wedding. He hugged me and say, “thank you for kicking me in the ass”.
May 14, 2012
What Women Want
The age-old question on every man’s mind is “What do women want?” The answer to that question is, “Your heart”. Any guy with a credit card and a few minutes to spare can pick up a dozen roses or a card. Wealthier ones can have their secretary order up something fancy and have it wrapped in a big bow and delivered. Although some women might seem amused by these things at first, in the end they are left feeling empty. Why? Because they are thoughtless attempts at love.
I was in my early twenties when I went through a phase where I collected cherubs. I had ceramic figurines, stationary, photos, etc. I loved cherubs and everyone knew it. I remember playing pool one night with a few friends when my friend Larry came over to me and said, “I have something for you.” He opened up his jacket and pulled a pen out of his inside pocket. It was a cherub pen. The kind you get for $1 at a local gas station counter. “I saw it while paying for gas and I thought of you so I bought it.” He thought of me? How…awesome. Something so small and seemingly insignificant and I still remember it over 15 years later. Why? Because it was from the heart.
How much do you know about the people around you? Are you thinking of them from your head or your heart? For me, I believe that when you truly care about someone you know their favorite song, color, smell, etc. You know these things because you want to know them and so that when you hear the song, see the color or smell the smell it reminds you of them. That’s love, whether it is romantic or platonic, its love from the heart; and for me it’s the best love there is.
May 13, 2012
Nurses Week Spotlight: Paige DeNegris
I didn’t choose to be a nurse; nursing chose me. I always wanted to be a Marine biologist specializing in marine mammal behavior. I thought I could study and train the dolphins at Sea World. When Mom said, “You can’t do that, you’ll never make enough money to support yourself,” and “I won’t pay for that schooling,” I thought, Ok now what?
So I took that test from the guidance counselor in high school my senior year in 1992. It indicated that I would succeed in becoming a psychologist, a physician or a nurse; so nursing it was. I then got accepted to Dean College and away I went to finish my prerequisites. From there I graduated with my ASLS and got accepted at Curry to the BSN program. It was there that I learned that I was meant to be a nurse and developed a love for learning.
The easy part of nursing is accepting that THERE IS NO EASY PART.
What I love most about being a nurse is the ability to change someone’s life experience this includes; the patient, their family, and the staff I am responsible for overseeing.
The scariest thing I have ever seen is very difficult to narrow down. I have been present for the birth of a child by a young girl raped by her brother. I have provided care to children receiving chemotherapy. I have seen open heart surgery and organ transplants. I have seen joints replaced and people have their body parts removed. I have sat for hours and reassured patients having visual and tactile hallucinations while detox from street drugs. I have been strangled with my own stethoscope by a psychiatric patient. I have held the hand of a man who was choked to death by his own throat tumor.
There is rarely a day that is not scary in nursing but there is a great sense of accomplishment that you, as the nurse had the ability to be there to reach out and care, to empathize and teach people through some of the most awful experiences anyone could go through. I can share this-although you think you have it bad there really is someone else who has it worse. So it is easy for me to understand you could be upset that you had to buy the generic Cheerios or buy the “cheap seats” for a concert. There are more important things in life. And to think, I just wanted to swim with some dolphins instead.
May 12, 2012
Nurses Week Spotlight: Stephanie Merrell
I chose to be a nurse because I had a baby at 20 yrs old and I had no college education. I knew that I had the intelligence and compassion to be a great nurse. So I signed up for a year-long Licensed Practical Nursing Course and never looked back. That was 16 years ago. As a nurse, I knew that I would always have job security to care for my family.
The hardest part of my job is knowing that there are a million kids that I care for at school that go home to parents that are not acting in the child’s best interest. Listening to the desperation in the voices of kids who feel lost, depressed, bullied, suicidal….the list goes on and on.
What I love about my job is how funny the kids are. How much they depend on the school clinic as a safe haven when they need a friend, mom, guidance, a hug, a kick in the pants or just to get out of their classroom for a break.
The scariest thing I have witnessed on the job was watching one of my 16 yr old depressed students pour gasoline on himself and light himself on fire and burn to death in front of the school as we watched, helplessly. No amount of words can express how I felt that day, and how I will continue to feel everyday after that for the rest of my life.
I think sometimes folks forget that we are people too, outside of the job. Yes, many of us have seen it all; but that doesn’t make it any easier and sometimes, many times, that pain stays with us. Sometimes for days; mostly forever.
I’ve cried myself to sleep at night at the tragedies that I have witnessed, but If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love being a nurse.
May 11, 2012
Nurses Week Spotlight: Selene Faravardeh
Selene Faravardeh
I didn’t choose nursing, but every step along the way there was someone somewhere mentoring or encouraging me in this direction. I loved my life as a Hospital Corpsman and an EMT, I loved the thrill of going on rides and answering calls, I enjoyed prepping the rig before shift. During this time I met my friend Judy, who is a nurse and after she made sure I went to EMT training, she suggested I think of becoming a nurse. A WHAT – and much like the general public, I didn’t really “get” what nurses did?! Well that was the start of my goal. Those around me knew me better than I did.
College came easy, and Judy was there all the way to guide me to be sure I took the things that would serve me in nursing. The first year in nursing school was material just taught in a different way. By the end of my second year in nursing, we were near graduation when the Dean of our college made some changes that nearly kept half of us from graduating. The message I received in nursing school is that bottom line I am there for the patient and to advocate for them.
Well, this time, the patient was half my class and I was the President of the NSNA chapter in our college and I needed to stand up. I remember getting ready to walk into school and figure out how to prevent this change, all the while knowing full well that what I was laying on the line was 4 years I could never get back. When it was done and we reversed the Dean’s actions and were told we could graduate on time, one of my friends at the time said, “You know you really would not have done this if it didn’t affect you too.” “I just calmly said, I’m not sure which school you went to, but I have learned that everyone needs an advocate and this time it was us and yes no matter what I would have done the same thing!”
Since then I have stood by 2 things, I maybe the only advocate someone has and I believe that education is the greatest gift to give some body. The hardest part of my job – knowing that I don’t get to always see the rest of their life story and all the while hoping that it all turned out well for them.
What I love about my job – all the times when I talk to someone or care for someone and the teaching I have given, they have learned and are applying and they have their “A-HA” moment right before my eyes and it all worked! It’s like being a proud mom.
It’s hard to say what the scariest thing I’ve seen in nursing is – if I had to pick one I would say it is having worked at Abu Ghraib Iraq when I was in the Army. I think mostly because everything I learned was NOT working, all I had learned about nurturing and having a working relationship with the patient was not part of the equation in this scenario. Also, I knew if the roles were reversed that the care would be less than adequate. And that they knew no boundaries they wouldn’t cross in harming themselves or others around them, sometimes even for fun. Like a young man beating an old man who was observing morning prayer and was face down on the ground and the young guy found a wooden pole and started beating the old man because he was not the “same” type of faith. Yes, nursing is a science and an art.
The Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him the most; he said,
“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”
May 10, 2012
Restaurant Review: Bacari Grill
800 Ridgewood Road
Washington Township, NJ 07676
201 358-6330
Tucked away just outside of Paramus, NJ is a delicious Italian restaurant called Bacari Grill. We had a party of 12 on reservation and were seated immediately upon our arrival. The restaurant was tastefully decorated with soft colors and romantic lighting. It wasn’t incredibly noisy for a saturday night, and you could move around without bumping into another table.
As we nestled into our seats we perused over their extensive selection of wines with a fair amount available at several different price points. We went with the recommendation of trying out their homemade red Sangria first. It came in a giant wine glass filled to the top for a low price. Not to sweet, not to dry and it wasn’t overpowered with fruit which I liked. For dinner we went with a few bottles of the Robert Mondavi Private Reserve Cabernet Savignon as well as the Campobello Chianti Riserva.
After drooling over the Dinner Menu that had so many delicious items available I had a hard time choosing, I decided finally to start off with a Greek “Chopped” Salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, olives, arugula and feta cheese. When it arrived it was a great size for the small price of $6.00 and the presentation was perfect. The dressing wasn’t overpowering and the vegetables were crispy and plentiful.
For dinner I ordered the Lobster Ravioli special which came in a delicious cream tomato sauce that melted in my mouth with every bite. Again, the portion was perfect for the price and the presentation was wonderful. Our server, Harrison was on the ball making sure we had plenty of tasty flatbread on the table, full water glasses and never an empty cocktail.
For dessert we had brought our own cake as we were celebrating a graduation, but the restaurant manager surprised us with a complimentary round of RumChata, an after dinner drink that tastes like a mix of spiced rum and Bailey’s with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. I was surprised at the taste and am looking forward to finding a place to buy some for my own home bar.
After dessert I took a tour of the entire restaurant to get a feel for the layout. The bathrooms were well-tended too and wonderfully decorated. On the other side of the bar was a larger dining room with white linen table clothes and wide windows for a romantic view of the twinkling lights on display outside. As someone who has done her share of bartending in the past, I was particularly impressed by the way they used vertical glass votives to hold the bar fruit. It was much nicer to see as a bar patron and it gave the bartenders room to mix their drinks.There was a sushi station and the food look fresh and well prepared. Next time I visit, I am definitely trying the sushi!
Overall the food, ambience and service was top-notch. On a scale of one to five, my overall rating for this restaurant is 4 1/2 stars. I will definitely be returning.
Click to view slideshow.
May 9, 2012
Seesaw of Life
The thing about the seesaw is trying to get it to balance. Sometimes it seems no matter how hard you try, or how great you exert your effort, you can’t seem to find it. There are days when you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you just can’t get up from it, which leaves you stuck in the mud.
Emotions are the same way. I imagine every emotion is like a seesaw. Love and hate are tied together. When you love someone it hurts a lot. If you were hurt by someone you didn’t love or even really care about, it wouldn’t hurt as much, you would be indifferent. A complete stranger could say the same thing to me as a dear friend but if its hurtful, I would be hurt by what my friend said, not what the stranger said.
Failure and success share a seesaw too. The closer you get to achieving success the more afraid you are of failing. Sometimes we need to fail in order to recognize success. If you don’t attempt the impossible once in a while and get kicked in the face with disappointment, it wouldn’t really matter to you when one day you achieve success because it wouldn’t mean anything. You wouldn’t have felt the joy of moving from the mud to the air.
So what’s my point? My point is that life is a playground full of seesaws that we are forever needing to find balance with. You have to take the good with the bad; the love with the hate; the failure with the success because it is what gives us balance and knowledge. After all, how would you know you were happy if you’ve never been sad? You wouldn’t. You would just be indifferent all the time. You need to stay on the seesaw. Hold on with both hands. Celebrate the joys of flying through the air and watch your ass if you see that you are getting close to crashing into the mud. But no matter what, don’t be afraid of what’s on the other end, because sooner or later what goes up, must come down.
