Pam Laricchia's Blog, page 21

EU213: Unschooling and Math with Marcella O’Brien

Marcella O’Brien joins me this week. Marcella is an unschooling mom of three boys. Her grown sons, Jack and Sean, joined me to share their experiences back in episode 181, so it was such a treat to hear Marcella’s journey. She was also a public school teacher and still tutors math which led to a fascinating conversation about her observations around math in school verses unschooling. With toes in both worlds, her unique perspective really lends some amazing insights to a subject that comes up a lot for new unschoolers. Her journey as a mom working together with her husband and boys to find the best path for their family is inspiring!

Questions for Marcella

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

You’re also a math tutor, so I’d love to dive into that topic with you! First, let’s talk about the conventional way math is taught in schools. You have a unique perspective as a tutor to see how that teaching process plays out for students trying to understand math concepts. What have you seen?

Now let’s dive into exploring math through unschooling. In unschooling circles, we talk about how kids can learn math concepts through everyday living. I’d love to know how you’ve seen that play out.  Has that been your experience as well?

Your two older sons, Jack and Sean were on the podcast last year and I really enjoyed hearing about their experiences growing up unschooling, especially through the teen years and college. I’d love to hear your perspective on those years! What strikes you as you look back on them now?

You’re still unschooling with your youngest. What’s your favourite thing about the flow of your days right now?

Things mentioned in the episode

EU181: Growing Up Unschooling with Jack & Sean O’Brien

Mary Griffith’s book, The Unschooling Handbook

Paul Lockhart’s essay, “A Mathematician’s Lament”

Episode Transcript

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EU212: Ten Questions with Nisa & Jewel Deeves

Nisa Deeves and her daughter Jewel join me this week to answer ten questions about their unschooling lives. This was a lovely chat that felt like sharing a cup of tea with old friends. I love the rich tapestry of lives created by all of the unschoolers who so generously share their time with me.

Questions for Nisa and Jewel

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

What did you find to be the most challenging aspect of deschooling and how did you work through it?

In unschooling circles we talk about the importance of actively supporting our children as they pursue their interests. What has that looked like over the years for you? Were there certain aspects of support that you found most helpful?

Jewel, can you share what you’ve been up to lately?

What was your favourite thing about unschooling during the teen years?

What has surprised you most about how unschooling has unfolded in your lives?

Have you found that your definition of “success” has changed since you began your unschooling journey?

I love hearing about how unschooling parents whose children are now young adults are approaching this next phase of their family’s journey. There are so many possibilities! What are you excited about and how are your lives weaving together?

Looking back, what has been the most valuable outcome from choosing unschooling?

Things mentioned in the episode

Program Jewel attended as a teen, NOCCA Louisiana’s Art Conservatory

Find Jewel’s professional Instagram here and Nisa’s Instagram here

Colour Box Bootcamp with the LA make-up artist that Jewel mentioned

They also wanted to mention Laura Bowman’s East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp (ETUSC, for teens) and Autodidact Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers (ARGH, for families) events. And you can listen to my conversation with Laura on the podcast!

Episode Transcript

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EU211: Learning in the Real World

When we first decide our children aren’t going to go to school, it can be daunting to envision how they’re going to learn instead. The great thing is, we don’t need to re-create the ethos of school in our homes to help our children’s learning thrive in the real world.

In this talk I gave in 2018, I dig into the conventional wisdom that surrounds learning by exploring three characteristics of real and effective learning: engagement, motivation, and time to think. By the end, you’ll be well on your way to recognizing and encouraging your children’s real learning—even when it doesn’t look like school at all.

It’s a great talk for people who are starting out on their unschooling journey, but I think it’ll also be interesting for those who have been unschooling for a few years. You’ll bring a more experienced lens with you as you listen, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you make even deeper connections because you’ll have seen these ideas play out in your lives already.

Get the accompanying PDF here: download Excavating Our Curiosity

And the image on the episode card is one my daughter Lissy created years ago. You’re welcome to check out her current work at lissyelle.com.

Episode Transcript

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EU210: Unschooling Stories with Michelle Conaway

Michelle Conaway joins me this week. Michelle is an unschooling mother of three and grandmother to one! She also runs the Texas Unschoolers group, coordinates their annual conference, and was gracious enough to share her journey and some wonderful stories and insights from their unschooling lives.

Questions for Michelle

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What’s everybody into right now?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

I think one of the big misconceptions people have when they first hear about unschooling is that it’s “all about letting your kids do whatever they want.” I mean, on one hand, it’s true, we help our kids do the things they’re interested in doing. But it’s so much more, isn’t it? They aren’t doing these things in isolation; their actions are woven into their world.

I think one of the most valuable paradigm shifts of deschooling comes when we’re able to distinguish between who we think our child should be and who they actually are. Truly seeing our kids and the gifts they have to bring to the world is life changing. But it can take a lot of personal work to get there, can’t it?

You run the Texas Unschoolers Conference, which is happening in April this year. I know a lot of work goes into organizing these kinds of events and I’d love to know, what is your favourite thing about the conference?

What has surprised you most about how unschooling has unfolded in your lives?

Things mentioned in the episode

Find Michelle on the Texas Unschoolers website or Facebook page

Find information about the TexUns Conference here ( April 16-20, 2020)

Ryan Holiday’s book, The Obstacle is the Way

Episode Transcript

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EU209: The Lovely Chaos of Unschooling with Shan Burton

Shan Burton is a writer, an unschooling mom and a recent widow. She kindly joins me this week to talk about her unschooling life, how the idea of Lovely Chaos (her website name) came about and how embracing unschooling healed her relationships and helped her family through the loss of their beloved husband and father. It was a lively, fun conversation and I’m so grateful that she agreed to join me and share so much of herself and their life.

Questions for Shan

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What’s everybody into right now?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

I love that your online presence is woven around the idea of “lovely chaos!” Can you share how that came about and what it means to you?

I was so sorry to hear of your husband’s passing last year. I can only imagine how much that shook your family’s world—and continues to weave through your days. You mentioned before our call that you found unschooling principles to be helpful in times of trauma. I’d love
to hear more about your experience with that.

I saw a comment you made recently on your blog about Miah turning 18 and how one of your goals is to stop saying “the kids” to reference your adult children. That struck me because, with my kids in their twenties, I’ve been feeling a bit uncomfortable using that phrase as well. I’d love to hear your thoughts around that.

At this point, what do you love most about having chosen to embrace unschooling?

Things mentioned in the episode

Find Shan’s website here

Shan mentioned Sandra Dodd’s book, Moving a Puddle

Episode Transcript

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EU208: Don’t Aim for Perfect with Sue Patterson

Sue Patterson joins me to talk about how the idea of “perfect” can get in the way of living our best unschooling life. We touch on comparisons, tough times, the personal work involved, the gifts that these choices bring, and lots more!

Discussion Points

Let’s start with the genuine excitement that bubbles up when we first discover and start exploring unschooling. No school schedules and homework battles? Connected and respectful relationships with our kids? Having fun? Sounds amazing! It can seem almost Utopian, can’t
it?

As we continue to learn about unschooling and shift our relationship dynamics, we also need to take a deeper dive into what we think unschooling looks like. That Utopian lens begins to fall away. We’re real people, with different personalities and interests. Life has real ups and
downs and challenges. As we read about or listen to unschooling parents sharing their experiences, we begin to more clearly recognize the personal and parenting work that weaves through their stories. Life isn’t “perfect.” It’s time to stop using that ideal as a goal, isn’t it?

There’s something else that may come up as we dive into the personal work and self- awareness that deschooling asks of us. For some, delving into those depths can bring up challenges and even trauma stemming from our experiences growing up. That can be a surprise, can’t it? Sometimes it can feel like deschooling is easier for everyone else.

We’ve talked a lot about how life isn’t “perfect” and how striving for that ideal can get in our way. But there are definitely advantages to the unschooling lifestyle when it comes to moving through challenging times. I thought it’d be great to wrap up our conversation talking about
some of the advantages we’ve seen.

Things mentioned in the episode

Find Sue’s other podcast episodes here

Sue’s daughters’ podcast episodes, Growing Up Unschooling with Katie Patterson and Growing Up Unschooling with Alyssa Patterson

Sue’s website UnschoolingMom2Mom and her Facebook group

Episode transcript

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EU207: Advice from Grown Unschoolers

It’s compilation episode time again! In many of my conversations with grown unschoolers, I ask what advice they’d like to share with newer unschooling parents who are starting out on this journey. In this episode, I’ve woven together answers from eleven episodes and twelve grown unschoolers.

It’s so interesting to hear the things that they feel were valuable for them as they grew up unschooling. I think you’ll find their answers fascinating! And great fodder for you as you contemplate your family’s unschooling journey.

Audio snippets taken from these episodes …

EU012: Growing up Unschooling with Idzie Desmarais

EU024: Growing Up Unschooling with Roya Dedeaux

EU046: Growing Up Unschooling with Brenna McBroom

EU181: Growing Up Unschooling with Jack & Sean O’Brien

EU196: Growing up Unschooling with Katie Patterson

EU080: Growing Up Unschooling with Kelly Nicole

EU141: Growing Up Unschooling with Alec Traaseth

EU159: Growing Up Unschooling with Max VerNooy

EU177: Growing Up Unschooling with Alyssa Patterson

EU163: Growing Up Unschooling with Adrian Peace-Williams

EU119: Gaming and Growing Up Unschooling with Xander MacSwan

Episode transcript

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RECAST: Unschooling the Holidays

Anna Brown joins Pam to talk about navigating the holiday season through the lens of unschooling.

As we move into the holiday season, things can get challenging. Maybe you’re deep into deschooling and questioning everything—including holiday traditions—to see how well they really fit your family. Maybe you’re the lone unschooling family and anticipating uncomfortable visits with extended family as the holidays gear up. And then there’s the general stress that seems to build, both in the people around us and sometimes in ourselves, as we feel the growing weight of the expectations of the season—no matter how you celebrate.

Let’s talk about ways to bring more JOY to the season!

Discussion Points

First, I want to dive into the idea of holiday traditions. I remember that a-ha moment when I realized that I didn’t have to try to twist my family into all the holiday traditions that I—and my husband—grew up with. That everything was a choice—even around holiday traditions. It was another layer of deschooling for me and it felt so freeing! How has that perspective unfolded for you, Anna?

So, maybe there’s a holiday tradition in our extended family that doesn’t mesh well with us, yet they are expecting us to participate. Let’s chat about ways to navigate those kinds of situations.

Now, let’s say we have plans to visit with extended family. How can we set things up so it’s a fun experience?

Now we’re there—at our parent’s home, or our in-laws, or even a cousin’s place. Let’s talk about how can we support our children and their relationships with their relatives.

And finally, let’s brainstorm things we might do if, in the midst of our visit, someone decides to challenge us about our unschooling lifestyle.

Links to things mentioned in the show

Anna’s other podcast episodes: Ten Questions, Ordinary Unschooling, Diving into Parenting, and the Q&A episodes

Episode Transcript

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EU206: Deschooling with Kinsey Norris

Kinsey Norris is an unschooling mom with two kids and we had a wonderful chat about her journey! She has a background in Early Childhood Education and it was fascinating to see how many seeds were planted along the way that ultimately grew into the amazing unschooling life they are living as a family today.

Questions for Kinsey

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What are you each into right now?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?

What have you found to be the most challenging aspect of deschooling so far? And what’s been your experience as you work through it?

I think one of the biggest paradigm shifts for me as we moved deeper into unschooling and I focused on building connected, respectful relationships with the kids, was how I approached moments when things got challenging—like when the kids wanted to do different things, or when I was uncomfortable about something one of them wanted to do. It was such a paradox for me! How on earth would being open and creative help me narrow in on the “best” solution? They practically seemed like opposites. But it’s often in moving through those moments when creativity really shines, isn’t it?

With the holidays on the horizon, we can find ourselves spending time with extended family members who don’t really understand our lifestyle. Do you have some ideas or tips that have been helping you guys move through those moments?

What’s your favourite thing about the flow of your unschooling days right now?

Things mentioned in the episode

Amy Child’s podcasts
You can connect with Kinsey on Facebook and Instagram

Episode Transcript

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EU205: Unschooling Dads with Lucas Land

Lucas Land is an unschooling dad with three kids, and we have a wonderful conversation about deschooling, living in another country, trusting our kids, and lots more! He also recently started a podcast, We Don’t Talk About That with Lucas Land.

Questions for Lucas

Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?

How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s transition to unschooling look like?

Was there a shift in parenting for them in that area, from control to connection?

What, so far, has been the most challenging aspect of moving to unschooling for you?

Were the kids excited to move to Bolivia? Is it a family decision, how you guys decide where you’re going to be going when you’re travelling?

What is your favourite thing about your days right now?

You recently started a podcast. I’d love to hear the story behind that!

As an unschooling dad, what piece of advice would you like to share with dads who are considering or just starting out on this journey?

Things mentioned in the episode

Check out his podcast, We Don’t Talk About That with Lucas Land

Books mentioned:
Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids by Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle Hodson
Deschooling our Lives, edited by Matt Hern

Episode Transcript

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