Pam Laricchia's Blog, page 20
April 15, 2020
EU223: Unschooling with Young Kids with Eva Whipple
Eva Whipple joins me this week! With children ages four and two, she and her husband have always known that they wouldn’t send their kids to school. We have a wonderful conversation diving into their journey, how she discovered unschooling, what their days look like, how capable and emotionally intelligent their children are, and how they are thriving in their loving environment.
Questions for Eva
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everybody interested in right now?
How did you discover unschooling?
It can be hard to make unconventional life choices that many people don’t understand. I’d love to hear how you’ve worked through that discomfort to become confident with your choices.
Looking through the lens of parenting and your relationships with your kids, what has deschooling looked like for you so far?
What has your deschooling journey looked like around learning?
What is your favourite thing about the flow of your days right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
Check out the Living Joyfully Network community
My book chat episode with Emma about The Gardener and the Carpenter
Find Eva’s yoga studio here
Episode Transcript
April 8, 2020
EU222: Living Joyfully Network and Q&A with Anna Brown
This week’s episode is a special one for me. For a few months now, I’ve been percolating lots of thoughts and possibilities around building an engaging and supportive online unschooling community. Finally, it’s HERE! And Anna Brown is an integral part of it all, taking on the role of Community Advocate. We are well into our “soft opening,” things have been going swimmingly, and we are so excited to open it up to anyone who is interested! Anna joins me this week to talk about how the Living Joyfully Network community works, and then we dive into a couple of listener questions.
Living Joyfully Network Overview
Purpose
We bring together unschooling parents to support and learn from each other as we question and explore many of the conventional beliefs around learning and parenting so that we can more gracefully navigate our personal unschooling journeys, develop strong and connected relationships with our children, and cultivate a thriving unschooling lifestyle in our families.
How are we going to do this?
Monthly theme
To help unschooling parents navigate their journey, we have an unschooling-related theme each month.For April, the theme is our parenting toolbox—we thought this would be especially helpful right now as many of us around the world have been asked to stay home as much as possible.
Weekly focus
Each week we’ll explore the monthly theme through a different lens, or focus.On Mondays, Anna and I share and expand upon the weekly focus through a short video conversation, including a couple of ideas or questions to contemplate over the week.You are welcome to post your questions, your thoughts, your insights etc. in the Network as they come up.
Weekly live Q&A call
At the end of the week, we meet up online to answer more questions and chat about what we’ve observed and learned.Soon we’ll start to vary the times for the call because we have members from around the world, giving most the opportunity to join us live, but the calls are recorded so members can listen whenever it’s convenient for them and their family’s flow.
Topics
Conversation isn’t limited to the weekly focus!We have a number of topics to start with, like A-ha Moments, Challenges We’re Facing, Questions We’re Pondering, as well as a Hanging Out space for more random fun and connection.Everyone is encouraged to start conversations and participate however works for them.And Anna and I are working on even more ways to help members to learn about each other and connect.
Q&A Questions
QUESTION 1: I am mom to 4 bright, inquisitive, and energetic boys. My oldest, 8, is brilliant at science and would do experiments all day long. He knows more about space than most adults, and he loves to be around people. My second is 6 and is a very creative builder, loves spending his time designing monster jam stadiums for his monster trucks, blows my mind with his creative problem-solving skills, and is definitely a leader. He also likes to make people laugh. My third, 3, is a tank. Super physical, adrenaline junkie, and fearless. He is also really sensitive, caring, and sweet and is the most easygoing of the four. My fourth is 1 and his personality is still coming out, but he is adventurous, happy, and a snuggle bug!
My point in telling you that I guess is that I want to recognize that they really do shine – my problem is that I often can’t seem to see it. We have been unschooling for about a year, and I actually found letting go of the academic stuff to be quite easy. But I feel defeated. The atmosphere in my home is still awful. My kids are fighting with each other constantly and it often gets physical. My oldest son and my husband argue constantly. My oldest son is very much struggling right now to compromise on anything at all. He yells at me, his dad, or his brothers frequently for not doing things to his liking. My 6-year-old is also extremely demanding in his tone. They have no respect for me or my personal things and are often destructive. I try to say no only when it’s truly necessary and always try to validate and discuss solutions, alternatives, or even just different times that we can do things, but this is ALWAYS met with instant whining rather than a willingness to discuss. I feel like I can never find the right words to have conversations like you so often discuss in the podcast, which gets me feeling down on myself. I often end up yelling or resorting to punishments like timeout, which I know don’t work but they’re also the only way I feel that they’re not being allowed to treat myself or each other that way. Then I feel so guilty and like I’m doing everything wrong. My husband claims to be on board with what I’m trying to do, but he always has rules and demands that I think are ridiculous (like getting mad at our oldest because he thinks he’s carrying too many toys). He won’t do enough of his own research to really understand it. I’m sure he and I being at odds in our parenting isn’t helping. I want the relationships so badly. I just feel like I’m failing with communicating and controlling my own temper when they are so rude and disrespectful to me, and failing at parenting in general because my kids act this way. What do I do? I’m ready to throw in the towel and send my two oldest to school just so there can be some peace in my house.
I’m just really hoping for some insight, even if it’s just showing me HOW I can develop the ability to have effective conversations or how to handle such behaviors in a respectful manner, or…honestly I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I just feel discouraged and need help.
QUESTION 2: I live with my husband, our 2 year old daughter, and nearly 5 year old son. We have decided to unschool… it’s been quite the journey to reach that decision!
I have a question. My children are so young, I’m happy to let them play and just be. When they are older I know they will be able to ask for what they want and it will be easier for me to support their learning. For now, I just want to make sure I have the right things around for them. Do you have any ‘must have’ items or activities to do with kids in this age group? Reading, craft, outdoor play, blocks…. I suppose I’m just chasing reassurance that they have everything they need.
Things mentioned in the episode
Check out The Living Joyfully Network!
EU219: Home with the Kids with Pam and Anna
Episode Transcript
April 1, 2020
EU221: Unschooling and Neurodiversity with Tara McGovern Dutcher
Tara McGovern Dutcher joins me to talk about neurodiversity, how we are all unique in our experience of the world, and how unschooling creates an amazing environment from which our individual gifts can shine.
Questions for Tara
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
I’d love to hear more about your journey around neurodiversity. How do you define it and what does it mean to you?
I pretty regularly see questions like, “Will unschooling work for my autistic child?” How do you answer that question? What are some of the benefits of unschooling for autistic or neurodiverse children?
Unschooling is about cultivating a supportive environment that celebrates each child as a unique individual—helping them as they explore who they are, their interests and passions, how they like to engage with others etc. And how that changes over time. We sometimes talk about this as being a student of our child. It also means that our unschooling days can look very different from other families, doesn’t it?
What is your favourite thing about your unschooling lives right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
Her son’s YouTube channel, TheNinthRanger Productions
Book chat with Emma Marie Forde, podcast episode 70
Episode Transcript
March 25, 2020
EU220: Pursuing Our Curiosity with Susan Bhadury
Susan Bhadury, an unschooling mom with two children, joins me this week. She shares some wonderful stories and insights as we dive into deschooling challenges, the joys of technology, helping our children follow their inner compass, how curiosity weaves its way through their lives, and lots more!
Questions for Susan
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
What have you found to be one of the more challenging aspects of deschooling? And can you share a bit about your journey through it?
When we first connected, you mentioned that technology has been an awesome tool for your family. I’d love to hear more about that!
You recently wrote online that unschooling is about helping our children find who they truly are as people by listening and following their own inner compass without everyone around them overriding that intuition. That change in our focus, from our expectations to their inner compass, is so important, isn’t it?
What is your favourite thing about your unschooling lives right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
Susan mentioned the Childhood Redefined Unschooling Summit as a big part of her deschooling
She found Sue Patterson’s Facebook page, Unschooling Mom2Mom helpful
You can find Susan on Facebook
Episode Transcript
March 18, 2020
EU219: Home with the Kids with Pam and Anna
For any parents who find themselves at home with the kids during these uncertain times, Anna Brown and I dive into the value of using this time to embrace and strengthen our relationships with our children, tips for navigating sibling conflicts, and some ideas to get your brainstorming juices flowing for fun things to do at home!
Discussion topics
Acknowledging the challenge and stress of these uncertain timesEmbracing relationships over “being productive”Letting kids be themselvesNavigating sibling conflictsBrainstorming things to do at home!
Links mentioned in the episode
A great Facebook thread for things to watch/do online, geared to parents working from home, with their kids at home too (created by Jen Keefe, who was on the podcast in episode 188)
Kim & Jason Kotecki (who were recently on the podcast in episode 217), founders of Escape Adulthood, are encouraging people to stay calm and be optimistic. They are offering a free download of their book, A Chance of Awesome, hosting virtual coffee dates every weekday during this time, and continually updating their post, The Good Fight with all the links.
Sue Patterson of UnschoolingMom2Mom has a helpful post, Coronavirus Turned Us Into Homeschoolers – Now What? Sue has been on the podcast a number of times.
Roya Dedeaux (who was on the podcast in episode 24) is active in MOB Nation (Mom-Owned Businesses) and, in an effort to help support small businesses during all of this social isolation, all March Meetups have been moved to virtual meetups. You can check them out here, and she’s given us a password for $5 off a ticket for any meetup event: forevercurious5
Episode Transcript
coming soon
March 11, 2020
EU218: Growing Up Unschooling with Jayn Coburn
Jayn Coburn joins me this week to talk about her experience growing up unschooling. Her mom, Robyn, joined me back in 2017 so it was great to connect with Jayn! She openly shares her unschooling experience and insights. We talk about video games, learning, food controls, and touch many of the big topics that come up for families new to unschooling. It’s wonderful to hear her perspective and see how unschooling has influenced her life.
Questions for Jayn
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?
What were some of your interests growing up and how did you pursue them?
It can be hard for parents to let go of our inclination to judge our children’s interests, thinking of things that more easily fit into the “academic box” as better. Yet fandoms and participating in pop culture can be great learning tools for unschoolers, can’t they?
On a related note, I’d love to hear your take on the ways that school and homeschoolers are represented in popular media.
Another common deschooling challenge for parents surrounds food choices and limitations. What has your experience been with that?
What do you appreciate most about growing up unschooling?
Things mentioned in the episode
Podcast episode with Jayn’s mom EU074
Jayn participated in Speaker’s League as a teen
Jayn mentioned the Free To Be unschooling conference
The college Jayn is attending: NYFA – Los Angeles
Episode Transcript
March 4, 2020
EU217: Change the Way You See Things with Jason and Kim Kotecki
Jason and Kim Kotecki are back! We had a great time catching up and hearing about what’s going in their unschooling lives. I love Jason’s new book, A Chance of Awesome: How Changing the Way You See Changes Everything. I really enjoyed the book and found so many parallels to our unschooling lives. The lens of unschooling changes how we see things and that changes everything!
Questions for Jason and Kim
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?
You shared your journey to unschooling in our earlier episode (EU151). So, I’d love to know what’s your favourite thing about your unschooling lives right now?
You guys published a new book late last year titled, A Chance of Awesome: How Changing the Way You See Changes Everything. It’s filled with Jason’s wonderful art and great stories that illustrate the many ways we can change up the way we look at things and why we’d want to! Can you share the story behind the book?
I really love the book, and with just about every section, I thought, ‘I want to talk to them about this on the podcast!’ Obviously, that won’t work, so I’d love to hear from each of you what your favourite story is in the book.
There’s a great quote from Kim in the book: “Never let making a mess get in the way of making a memory.” It’s so short and sweet—and eye-opening! It struck me because when we find ourselves going through our days on autopilot, we often jump to seeing the mess and miss seeing the memory-making potential of the moment. I think that’s extra relevant in our unschooling lives, yes?
What has surprised you most so far about how unschooling has unfolded in your lives?
Things mentioned in the episode
Jason and Kim’s earlier episode, EU151: Escape Adulthood
Check out their new book, A Chance of Awesome: How Changing the Way You See Changes Everything
Cheetah Conservation Fund, their daughter’s passion/favourite charity
Learn more at their website, Escape Adulthood
Episode transcript
February 26, 2020
EU216: Deschooling with Nikki Zavitz
Nikki Zavitz joins me this week to talk about her deschooling journey. She talks about how her life as a teacher influenced her decision to unschool, and how it also created challenges in her deschooling journey. She shares stories from what she calls the “messy middle,” and the beautiful moments that come alive everyday, and the deep connections she has with her girls and her husband as they move through this life together.
Questions for Nikki
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
What have you found to be one of the more challenging aspect of deschooling? And can you share a bit about your journey through it?
When we connected before the call, you mentioned being a recovering perfectionist and how that has guided you on your unschooling journey. I’d love to hear more about that.
The dance of unschooling relationships often includes sharing pieces of our personal journey with our children as it connects to, and bubbles up in, our conversations. How has that been unfolding for you?
What is your favourite thing about your unschooling lives right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
Amy Steinberg’s song Exactly
Nikki runs the Collingwood Unschoolers Facebook page and the Collingwood Unschoolers Instagram
Episode Transcript
February 19, 2020
EU215: Unschooling Stories with Dola Dasgupta
Dola Dasgupta is a long-time unschooling mom with two older children and we have a fascinating conversation! She shares some wonderful stories as we dive into her journey to unschooling, deschooling challenges along the way, the value of free time, her experience unschooling in India, and lots more.
Questions for Dola
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everybody interested in right now?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
I think one of the challenges of deschooling can be navigating not having set goals or expectations for our children while still staying aware and engaged and supporting them on their journey as it unfolds. It’s an interesting dance, isn’t it?
A topic of concern that comes up pretty often in unschooling circles is “screen time.” I’m curious what your experiences and thoughts are on the topic.
For me, one of the biggest surprises, and joys, of unschooling turned out to be having large swaths of free time at our disposal. When we started, I didn’t realize how much open-ended time would be so well-spent by slowing down and being with my kids at their pace, whether it was around exploring their interests or feeling their feelings. Has that been your experience as well?
When we connected before the call, you mentioned the value of being aware of indoctrination while parenting our children. I’d love to hear your thoughts around that.
I’d love to learn more about unschooling in India. You were involved in creating the first homeschooling conference in India, yes? How have things grown since then?
What is your favourite thing about your unschooling lives right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
See Dola tell the Bengali folk tale, The Reluctant Thief
You can find Dola on Facebook
Episode transcript
February 12, 2020
EU214: Unschooling Dads with Bob Mahan
Bob Mahan joins me to talk about his experience as an unschooling dad. An accountant for 24 years, he had all the bells and whistles of that career, but he didn’t enjoy it. In our conversation, he shares his journey from there to unschooling and living a life of freedom, fun, and connection. Nowadays, Bob, his wife, and their three sons live in an RV—they traveled around the US for a few years and are currently living in Orlando.
Questions for Bob
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everybody into right now?
You planned to homeschool before you had children. I’d love to know how that choice originally came about, and how it evolved into unschooling.
Can you share your experience with moving through the doubts and fears that arise as we learn to trust ourselves to navigate this new path?
On your Facebook page, you recently wrote: “People are often amazed by what we are able to do. And ask how we do it. We are proactive in designing our lives. It’s really that simple.” I love that description! What does that look like in action?
What is your favourite thing about your unschooling days right now?
As an unschooling dad, what piece of advice would you like to share with dads who are considering or just starting out on this journey?
Things mentioned in the episode
The Bob Mahan Experience on Facebook
Episode Transcript
