Elizabeth Guizzetti's Blog, page 9

The Light Side of the Moon Deleted Scenes: The Ferryman

Ever wonder what happens when a book goes through a full rewrite? A lot of deleted scenes. Some of the scenes were deleted for length and pacing. Some were cut because I realized they confused my main plot line, such as the one below.

When I wrote this “Ferryman” scene, I was trying to show the poverty that the average person faced and how love had nothing to do with their marriages. HOWEVER, I realized the scene needed to be cut, because though the ferryman is willing to marry an under-aged girl, I did not write him as a villain nor consider the ferryman a bad man. Notice: he isn’t trying to screw her over, he is trying to find an honest marriage arrangement. I actually imagined him having this conversation at least a few other times with girls/women he ferries across the river until someone agrees to marry him. He has no money or family to arrange a marriage for him. He’s doing the best he can in a world that doesn’t care about him. But that confused the greater conflict.

NOTE: This was not edited by anyone, but me.

♦

LISTENING FOR WATER, ELLIE EDGED towards Missoula proper until she found the river. Not sure where to go, she wandered eastwards until she found a sign reading: FERRY 2 CREDITS in front a wide flat-bottom boat tied to the shore. The ship didn’t moving at night, so she hid on the leeward side of a fishing shack. As it did every day, dawn lightened the sky as the sun rose over the Rocky Mountains. She waited in her hiding place until she saw the ferryman stretching out of his blankets.

“Excuse me, I don’t have any money, but I’ll clean the deck if you get me across the river to the mills,” Ellie said.

“Girl, get yourself back home.”

“Look, I heard there were jobs at the mills. I need a way across the river.” 

“You’re about to get my boot,” he snarled, but he didn’t lift his foot.

Deciding the ferryman wasn’t likely to call to police or the convent, Ellie stood her ground. “I’ll run an errand if that’s what you need.”

The ferryman narrowed his eyes. Then glanced at his torn cuff. “You know how to sew?”

“Yes, sir, but I haven’t any needle or thread.”

“I keep some line and needles in the tool kit. I want my jacket mended and my boots shined. Do a good job, and when I have another customer, I’ll ferry you across.”

“Thank you.” She put her hands together and bowed in respect.

Grumbling, the man repeated the gesture towards her and pushed his toolbox with his foot.

Ellie’s fingers ached in the cold, but she sat beside his chair and mended the rip with fishing line. She took a rag out of the man’s tool kit and shined his boots. It would have been easier if he hadn’t been wearing them.

He opened his thermos. The smell of fish broth made her stomach growl. “You hungry, girl?”

Ellie nodded. He poured her a bit of broth in the thermos top. It was hot. Though her lips stung from the salt, Ellie drank the soup greedily.

“So how long have you been homeless?”

Licking the salt from her lips, she said, “Only a few days. My mama died. Papa died a few years ago.”

The ferryman nodded. “Yeah, you don’t seem the type. They just beg.” 

“I’ll find a job and never have to beg.”

“Times are hard. People might not be willing to chance a job on an untested girl. Why don’t you be my wife?”

She pressed her legs together and pulled her sweater tighter around her. “I’m only fourteen,” she lied. “I need a ride.”

“You are? Shit, I thought you were older,” The man frowned. “Well, now, your mama’s dead, no one will mind. Better than being homeless anyway.”

Ellie looked closely at the man’s face. His beard was brown scraggly, windswept, but his brow and cheeks were unlined. In fact, if it wasn’t for the beard, she guessed he was about Peter’s age. He was just a lonely guy with a newly mended jacket and hardly any gift in cooking. If she married him, it would be her own choice, but she wouldn’t get to the moon. Still she found herself asking, “Do you have a house?”

“Nope, just the boat.”

“I’ve never cooked a fish before. Only rabbits and eggs. I don’t know if I’d be a good wife for you,” Ellie said.

He shrugged. He pulled out a narrow fishing rod as long as he was tall. “You couldn’t be any worse of a cook than me.”

“I’d poison you if you ever beat me or our children if we had ‘em.”

“Your pa hit you, did he? Hit your ma?”

Her throat tensed. She refused to show emotion so she didn’t answer him.

“I won’t hit you,” he said. “But I expect a faithful and hardworking wife. I need help cooking and mending. Sometimes there’s work around the boat, but I’ll catch and clean the fish. The money from passengers keeps the boat afloat. Sometimes I catch enough to trade for bread and eggs.” The ferryman threaded the end of his fishing line through his hook, and wrapped it four times.

“But you don’t have extra for a bride price,” she said.

“No, I don’t. But you obviously don’t have any money either, so I figure we could help each other out. Two people work better than one. I’ll even put your name on the title of the boat.” He fed the end of his fishing line back through the looped hook and pulled it tight. He pulled out a dark wriggling worm from a small cup. Ellie looked away as he pierced the worm with his hook then attached three pieces of rusted metal to his line above his bait. Then he cocked back the rod, pushed the button on his spinner, and when he pointed it back to the water, he released the button to cast his line into the dark water.

Fingering the map in her pocket, her mind spun with worry. What if I can’t make it any farther? What if I get arrested and taken to the convent again? “Do you catch fish everyday?” she asked softly.

“Nearly,” he replied. Then leaned back and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Have you gone hungry?”

The ferryman studied her. “No. And I’d be damned before I let my wife or kids go hungry. And I know it looks rickety, but the shelter is pretty warm at night.”

If I married someone else, my brothers and betrothed wouldn’t ever come after me. Ellie bit her lip. “I’ll expect a faithful and hardworking husband, so I’ll think about it. I still want to see if I can get a job.”

He shrugged. “Your life, but if that doesn’t work out, come back. My offer will stand ‘til I find someone else.”

They sat in silence as he fished. He looked over his shoulder as a young couple with a baby asked if they could be ferried across. The ferryman gestured at the payment pad. The man pressed his hand on to it. Four credits were charged, two for each adult passenger. The family took a seat on the cracked polymer bench under the shelter. The ferryman pumped a lever, which opened a slot in the engine panel. He turned another cylinder. Methane belched out of the pipe as the ferry jolted off the dock.

Ellie’s stomach lurched as the water grew deeper and faster moving underneath the boat. Though the dark water underneath the hull frightened her, she wondered if the ferryman’s proposal was genuine. He didn’t seem like a bad man.

Thirty minutes later, she was across the river. The ferryman was happy to see five people waiting to cross back to the other side.

As she disembarked, he tipped his hat towards her. “Remember what I said.” 

“I’ll remember, and thank you.” Ellie pressed her palms together and inclined her head. She followed the couple towards the city center. She hugged to the outskirts of the mill to the eastbound trucking lane. Glad she had mittens, she put out her thumb.

If you liked this, check the rest of the deleted scenes here.  http://other-systems.com/dscenes.html

I’m going to Sasquan (Worldcon!)

Sasquan in Spokane WA, is the 2015 Worldcon, an annual gathering of science fiction and fantasy fans August 19 – 23rd. Hundreds of authors, editors, publishers, artists, scientists, game designers, and other creators and intellectual leaders will participate–including me!

I will be running a table in the dealer’s room.

Meet Rosalind: A Secondary Protagonist of The Light Side of the Moon

Rosalind

Age Unknown

(EC 302) Manufactured in India/Programmed in France

Expert Compatible Android (Accountant)

Personality: She loves deeply, she does not want to be stuck on Earth. She is a leader, but can aggressively pull for dreams.

 

Description Excerpt

She zoomed her optics from the nebula to Earth. The enlargement algorithms resized the sky as her crafted compound lens flipped to a smaller aperture to allow in less light. Her world shifted into millions of colored pixels. Images smoothed. She could see.

Ceramic tiles had continued to fall through the rotting, scorched wood in the ceiling, but the tenement was the same as it had been the last time her consciousness was on Earth. She rolled to her side and pushed strands of dirty blond hair out of her scarred face. A pigeon clapped its wings; its tiny claws scratched her aging silicone flesh as the bird bounced onto the dirt floor.

She rubbed her corroded knee joints. Using the doorframe, she lifted herself to her full height and held back screaming as she broke through the oxidation. Gazing upon her brothers who still dreamt toward the nebula, she could not remember her name, or her brothers’ names, but serial number EC 302 was embossed with black ink on her left bicep. Her brothers looked the same: inactive burnt flesh, visible indo-skeletons, absent limbs, and each one missing an optic. They were built to be imposing sentinels of this place, but their injuries exposed their weakness. S467’s legs were nothing more than scorched stumps.

S455 had a pigeon nesting between his unmoving chest and arm. She almost pushed it away until she saw the eggs. She let the pigeon be.

The Light Side of the Moon is here!

It’s here! It’s here! If you want you can picture me jumping up and down with excitement. 

The Light Side of the Moon is the second novel in the Other Systems Universe, but it is not a sequel. Fans familiar with the series know that Other Systems followed immigrants to the utopian planet, Kipos. The Light Side of the Moon is the story of those who stayed behind on Earth.

Due to lack of natural resources, no public education, and a surplus of political bickering, Earth is an over-populated cesspool and our solar system’s colonies have failed. Encouraged by the conquest of Kipos, idealistic dreamers look beyond Earth to build a utopia from the abandoned Lunar Colony Serenitatis. Despite intense uncertainty and physical hardship, the impoverished Ella Sethdottier follows rumors of plentiful jobs on the moon. On roads fraught with danger, she discovers Earth is a bigger place than she ever imagined, but Serenitatis is little more than a prison colony. Ella forges unlikely friendships with corrupted androids and the quixotic prison doctor, Ian Whitlatch, who champions equality and rights for inmates. Amid

corruption and nobility, tragedy and victory, the fate of the colony hangs in the balance.

You can read an excerpt here!

And I am having a release party at Barnes & Noble Pacific Place August 1st, 2 – 4 pm. Hope to see you there.

Sales Links Below

Amazon

Paperbacks:

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Light-Side-Moon-Elizabeth-Guizzetti-ebook/dp/B011EWJHTC 

Barnes&Noble

Paperbacks:

Nook:

iBooks

48Fourteen:  https://48fourteen.com/catalog/the-light-side-of-the-moon/

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/the-light-side-of-the-moon-1

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25891512-the-light-side-of-the-moon

Why all the politics in The Light Side of the Moon? Because we can’t escape ourselves

The Light Side of the Moon deals with serious issues that the world must decide is right or wrong. Many of the events that happen in the novel actually occurred before when Europe sent prisoners to Australia and the Americas. One might think that these events still don’t occur, but sadly they do.

I feel as a species, we are on a precipice of change as our electronic creations become sentient. We can choose to evolve our morals with technology or not. I look at The Light Side of the Moon as a cautionary tale if humanity chooses not to evolve. If we continue to allow adolescent greed rule how we interact with people.

Some say the adult content in the book is the sex and vulgar language, but in my opinion, the true adult content is that the world in the novel allows children to starve, refuses to pay workers a living wage, and humans still have atrocities such as child betrothal and marriage, economic slavery, and an unjust correctional system. We can go to colonize the moon, we can go to other planets, but until we face the problems we have now, they will always be with us.

That being said, even in the darkest places, there is hope for humanity, because good people exist. In my opinion, that is the story I wrote in The Light Side of the Moon. 

The World of The Light Side of the Moon – the new ten commandments

On June 11, 3062  the Kiposians land on Earth, Other Systems is the story of those who immigrate to Kipos, The Light Side of the Moon is about those who were left behind. It is always been my goal to create worlds that the reader can feel they can step into. The dystopian world of The Light Side of the Moon is hopefully a complex one. There are no easy answers to the abject poverty that 40% of the 17 billon people on Earth.

Humans and their intelligent creations once stretched towards the stars. By the late twenty-second century, they colonized Luna, Mars, Europa and Ganymede and Triton. They explored deeper into the cosmos with interstellar colonist ships. However, when humans realized they’d squandered Earth’s resources, it became too expensive to send people into space. Fossil fuels ran out, icecaps melted, and oceans became cemeteries of dead organisms. In the twenty-fourth century, the colonies of Triton, Europa, and Ganymede collapsed as people flooded back to the inner solar system, fearing they would be without regular supply ships. Mars perished when the borosilicate domes failed. People abandoned Luna when the titanium ran dry.

In the twenty-seventh century, human intellegent androids were marooned with humans on Earth when the Evolved AI whose minds stretched beyond understanding—refused to remain on the overcrowded Earth with such limited creatures.

Humanity sought sanctuary and answers in the old religions. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and The Children of Isaac and Ishmael delighted in this groundswell of interest and declared it a time of renewal. The religions were not about to make the same mistakes that made them almost extinct.  In a world of seventeen billion people, they elevated cleanliness to a virtue, and rewrote the sanitation laws. They changed unpopular social doctrine to fit the new world where all three genders were equal, and people weren’t defined by the composition of their skin—whether born of flesh or manufactured from silicone. They served sixty percent of the population well.

The Ten Commandments for a New Age

From the Testament of Pope Jon Francis, 2645

Canonized by The United Church in 2793

1. Love your God, above all others.

2. Remember your Sabbath and keep it holy.

3. Live with respect to your neighbor’s beliefs. I am infinite; they only worship another face of Me.

4. Show charity to your neighbor whether they be biological or silicone, man, pangender, or woman. All are equal in the eyes of God.

5. Keep a clean body and home to prevent the spread of disease.

6. Respect your parents, show kindness to your siblings and children.

7. Do not waste the resources I have given you, these are finite.

8. Do not let your thoughts be violent, lest they cause slander, strife, or murder.

9. Do not covet your neighbor’s life, your spouse and children were given to you to be your joy.

10. Do not mingle with those who sully themselves, lest they  be your downfall.

The Light Side of the Moon will be published by 48Fourteen this summer!

It is available in Paperback (ISBN: 978-1-937546-42-7)

and ebook (ISBN:

from Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Kobo, Ibooks and wherever else you like to buy books!

Meet Ellie Sethdottier: Protagonist of The Light Side of the Moon

Who wants to see the character dossier of Ellie Sethdottier: Protagonist of The Light Side of the Moon?

Ellie at age 11, Digital painting by me, Elizabeth Guizzetti. All Rights Reserved.

Ella (Ellie) Settdottier was four-years-old when the Kiposians came. While she and her brothers were too young to immigrate to Kipos and witnessed a violent argument between her parents, which ended with her mother battered. She never saw her father again. She does not know if he abandoned them for opportunities on Kipos or was possibly killed at the gates. She doesn’t want to know.

Parents: Jia Rao and Seth Keithson

Two Brothers: Daniel (+4 years) and James (+3 years)

Virtues: Though her life has been hard, she was protected from the worst of their poverty by her older brothers, thus she is strong-willed and hopeful things will get better. (Her brothers have long given up on life.) She loves to read and collect knowledge.

Vices: She has grown up so fast, she does not listen to reason. She is slow to trust.

Helpful Vice: She is a risktaker, but terrified of “getting in trouble” in an unforgivable way. She doesn’t really understand what is unforgivable, but has an idea that she needs to not get pregnant or catch an uncurable STI, so during her teen years she stays away from boys and drugs.

Age in novel: 4 – 18

Description excerpts

Age 4

More harshly than was wise, Alexander snapped, “She’s four and lost her father. Who said, ‘Suffer the little children…’ ”

With the hope Ella would settle down and Sister Diego might witness the vision of an innocent in pain, he pulled her onto his lap. After all, a four-year-old has no designs except to be loved, fed, safe, and warm. When she wasn’t screaming, Ella was as sweet looking as Jia had been at four: large round brown eyes, soft lengths of black hair escaping from two messy braids. Sister Diego could see her in her brothers’ hand-me-down green sweater and old patched trousers. No sign of sinful disease.

Both for his own comfort and hers, Alexander rocked her. Ella calmed as she snuggled into his shoulder, but Sister Diego’s face remained without compassion.

*

Age 11

[Alexander] considered as the afternoon sun bounced off Ella’s black hair how much she resembled Jia at that age, but her normally bronzed skin, looked grayish. Daniel and Jamie looked worse, covered in flour. The girl was on some invisible tether, bouncing with childish energy, but matching her brothers’ sluggish pace. Neither boy should be broken in adolescence.

 The Light Side of the Moon will be available on paperback and ebook for Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and IBooks.

Meet Ian Whitlatch: Secondary Protagonist of The Light Side of the Moon

Ian at graduation. Digital Painting by me.

Ian Marcus Weaver Whitlatch is the only child of a doctor and the manager of a charity soup kitchen in Salisbury. Dad helps everyone whether they can pay or not. Mum doesn’t take a salary for her work instead donates her time to feed the impoverished.At the beginning of the novel, his parents employ two domestics: Ian’s tutor Mr. McKay and Ms. Blacksmith the housekeeper and cook.

Note: For the Other System’s Universe, they are upper middle class, however, their lifestyle for the average family in today’s world, they would be lower-middle class. For example: they don’t own a car. They also generally have no need of one.

Virtues: Respects every person, doesn’t believe in violence, hard worker, kind-hearted

Virtue that hurts him: Unfaltering idealism which presents as pretentiousness

Vices: Judges by outer beauty, doesn’t always get along with his parents, can be self-absorbed

Parents: Grace Alice Teague. Weaver, Royce Xavier Langly Whitlatch  No Siblings.

Education: Home Tutor until age fifteen, then Oxford undergraduate studies and Oxford Medical School

Description Excerpt

Age 13

Ian yanked off his apron and washed his hands. The cut was deep, but not bad enough to show Dad. Pressing a handkerchief to the wound, he scrutinized himself in the mirror and tucked in his shirt. An angry pimple had formed between his nostril and cheek. Ugh. Even when his skin was clear, his nose was too big. Mum always said he had Dad’s handsome looks. That was unfortunate for them both.

*

Age 21

Ellie jumped for it. Knowing momentum might carry her in medium gravity, she forced herself to fall and hit the decking. Her legs burned as she skidded the last four meters, but the luggage stopped moving. She pressed her lips together and blinked back tears. 

“Vous allez bien, mademoiselle?”

Light created a halo from his straight hair, but when her eyes cleared, she looked past his nose into his deep green eyes, filled with concern.

Without thinking she answered back in English. “Yes, thank you, sir.”

He wore an officer’s uniform, but she recoiled from the soft, delicate hand that reached for her. He was probably going to yell at her like everyone else did.

“You’re an Englishwoman?” he asked helping her to her feet. 

“I speak English. I’m from Seattle. My name is Ellie Sethdottier. How do you do?” She curtsied though she wore pants.

“I’m Dr. Ian Whitlatch, and I’m just fine, but that looked like a nasty spill you took.”

Summer Reading Program Library Appearances in King County

I have some great news that I hope local folks will add to your calendars. I have my schedule for summer workshops for King County Library System.

Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes for ages 9+

I will show students how to draw aliens and their environments using basic shapes. Drawing, perspective, and observation techniques are covered. Other topics of discussion may include planets and moons within our solar system and planetary systems outside our solar system, both fictional and real.

STREAM Science & Arts

Audience: Elementary 9+, but we welcome everyone!

Drawing Aliens and Superheroes is part of the 2015 King County Library Summer Reading Program “Every Hero Has a Story”

and Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics for teens

In this workshop, we will discuss plausible spaceships and show students how to draw them using basic shapes. Drawing, perspective, and observation techniques are covered. Discussion includes the myths of space travel in popular media and exciting current or soon to be tech. Depending on audience, other topics may include time dilation, multiple universe theory, oxygen gardens, radiation shielding, aliens, and where to find inspiration.

Spaceship Concept by Elizabeth Guizzetti

STREAM Science Technology Engineering Arts

Target Audience:  Teen (ages 13-18) but all are welcome!

June 17: Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics – Greenbridge Library 1:30 – 3:30 pm

June 18: Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics – Fairwood Library 7 PM – 9 pm

June 29: Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Enumclaw Library 4 – 5 pm

July 8: Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Covington Library 1 -2 pm

July 8: Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Kirkland Library 7-8 pm

July 9 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes– Snoqualmie Library 3 -4 pm

July 11 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Maple Valley Library 2 -3 pm

July 12 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes– Sammamish Library 3 -4 pm

July 14 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Woodinville Library 2 -3 pm

July 20 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Foster Library 7 -8 pm

July 21 Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics – Auburn Library 1:30 – 3:30 pm

July 27 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Kenmore Library 7 – 8 pm

July 28 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Greenbridge Library 3 -4 pm

July 29 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Black Diamond Library 2 – 3pm

July 31 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Woodmont Library 1 -2 pm

August 4 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Valley View Library 2 -3 pm

August 5 Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics – Newcastle Library 6:30 – 8:30

August 6 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Bellevue Library 1 -2 pm

August 8 Drawing Comic Books Aliens and Superheroes – Algona Pacific Library 11am – 12 pm

August 11 Designing Concept Space Ships for Science Fiction and Comics – Kent Library 3:30 – 5:30 pm

New grammar addiction: the word “then”

This is just a short post and this post has a moral: Listen to your editors.

While editing The Light Side of the Moon, I have found, or more appropriately, my editor has found that I have a new grammar addiction: “then”

Merriam-Webster defines then : at that time : at the time mentioned

—used to indicate what happened or happens next 

—used to indicate what should be done next

You might remember, that when I was going through editing of Other Systems,  my poor editor (someone else) found and cut at least fifty semicolons. I am not exaggerating. In the second round of edits, I overused the word “as.”

Apparently I needed a new way to combine sentences–so I moved on to “then.”

For some logical reason, I thought it looked cooler to use “then” to combine sentences instead of the almost invisible “and”. I have no idea why, but thankfully my editor caught it and conducted an intervention.