Susan Newman's Blog, page 7

New Study Underscores Why Fewer Toys Is the Better Option

The holidays are a time for making memories, but in many households, the holidays mean rushing to snag the must-have fad item, toy or tech gizmo on their child’s wish list.

Good news for parents who dread long lines and cranky crowds at the mall: A new study from the University of Toledo in Ohio suggests “an abundance of toys present reduced quality of toddlers’ play.” Having fewer toys can lead a young child to focus and engage in more creative, imaginative play. The study, “The influence of...

5 Ways to Protect Your Boundaries This Holiday Season

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Or, for you is it a runaway celebration train of obligations and a mile-long to-do list? You can change that by protecting your personal boundaries.

Below is your go-to checklist, adapted from my latest book, The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say It and Mean It—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. It’s designed to help you better decide what you want to do—and avoid going overboard on things you don’t want to do. It also steers you toward shoring up your bound...

How One Mom Stopped People-Pleasing and Got Her Life Back

My favorite day of the year is the day we switch from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time. The clock goes back, giving me a precious extra hour. I always seem to need more time. I don’t recall being in such demand in my 20s.

One of the traps is, like most of us, I think I can do more than I can. This often leads to helping others solve their problems on top of my own. I don’t want to disappoint my children, wanted to meet my parents’ needs as they aged, give a top performance at work, and...

Making Their Lists, But Not Checking Them Twice

Making Their Lists, But Not Checking Them Twice: Why parents can’t – but should – say no.

Whether you have toddlers or teens, a parent’s natural tendency is to strive for content and happy children. But, saying yes to what can feel like an endless stream of wants morphs into a damaging cycle that I call “yes-parenting.” Learn why parents have trouble saying no and steps to take to turn some of the holiday focus away from your children and move it in a compassionate direction.

Click here to re...

29 Only Child Requests: Parents, the Correct Response is No

Yes, I said yes to my only child’s requests and stepped in or gave in. I “bought” many of my only child’s excuses and much of his “sweet talk.” His stalling and “weaseling” worked. He was a master of shirking responsibility. His claims of “I forgot” or “I’ll do it later” were frustrating.

Often it is more efficient, faster or easier for a parent to handle many of the things an only child is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. “Covering for” an only child is a trap many parents fall i...

10 Ways to Deal with Mom-Shaming

This article on Mom-Shaming by Dr. Susan Newman was originally featured in Psychology Today. Who hasn’t had her child-rearing choices questioned—by family, friends, your spouse, or a stranger? Who in your circle is most judgmental?

As a parent, you are subject to comment on a host of parenting decisions: Whether you decide to breastfeed or not; to co-sleep or not, go back to work or stay home with your children, what you let your children eat for breakfast; how you discipline or dress them, t...

6 Parenting Practices You Probably Don’t Do, but Should

This article on parenting practices by Dr. Susan Newman is featured in Psychology Today. In a world consumed by technology and the pressure to boost children’s academic standings, perhaps it’s time for American parents to ask the questions posed by Linda Åkeson McGurk, a Swedish-American journalist:

“What if more toddlers spent their days watching real birds instead of playing Angry Birds on their iPads? What if more kindergarteners actually got to grow gardens? What if more schools increase...

Are Dads as Torn Between Jobs and Family Life As Moms?

Fatherhood has reached a critical point for many dads who are caught between being an ideal employee and an ideal parent. They are asking themselves the same question working mothers have been asking for decades: Is it possible to have it all? In so many ways, dads’ struggles have caught up with moms’.

Parenting, once the sole domain of mothers, is now more equitable in terms of parents sharing the responsibility of caring for children. Today’s fathers read books on pregnancy and baby car...

Do You Have a People-Pleasing Problem?

When someone asks you for a favor, a “yes, sure” is out of your mouth before the reality of the commitment registers. You may have a people-pleasing problem.

It’s not uncommon for many of us to wonder how we got roped into being the family’s go-to task person, an extra office assignment, or making arrangements for a friend’s birthday party. Hard for you to say “No”? 

May be time to reorient yourself to the word.  “No” has the power to bring equilibrium to your life and help you better manage...

Do You Have a Problem Saying No?

“Yes.” “Sure.” “No problem.” These might be a sign that you have a problem saying no. When someone asks you for a favor, the words are out of your mouth before the reality of the commitment registers. It’s not uncommon for many of us to wonder how we got roped into being the family’s go-to task person, an extra office assignment, or making arrangements for a friend’s birthday party.

Time to reorient yourself to the word “No.” It has the power to bring equilibrium to your life and help you be...