Heike Yates's Blog
October 17, 2025
246. When Childhood Trauma Reawakens: Stacey Hettes on Healing After Midlife
https://heikeyates.com/childhood-trau...
Have you ever felt like you were finally okay—only to be blindsided by a wave of emotion you didn’t see coming? In this episode of Pursue Your Spark, “When Childhood Trauma Reawakens: Stacey Hettes on Healing After Midlife,” I sit down with Dr. Stacey Hettes, scientist, college professor, and author of Dispatches from the Couch, to explore how deeply buried childhood trauma can resurface in midlife—and how we begin to heal truly.
We dig into the ACEs framework (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and how Dr. Hettes used it to make sense of emotional shutdown, people-pleasing, and her own journey through PTSD. With her background in neuroscience, she explains how trauma physically rewires the brain—especially the amygdala and hippocampus—and how therapy helped her retrain those fear-based circuits over time.
This conversation challenges the idea that healing is quick or clean. We unpack what it means to “fawn” as a trauma response, why shame keeps us silent, and why therapy isn’t about being fixed—it’s about being seen. Dr. Hettes also shares how one triggering moment in adulthood cracked open decades of buried fear, and how that pain became a catalyst for growth.
More than anything, she reminds us that healing begins not when we ask what happened to me, but what did it do to me—and what do I do next?
✨ This is one of a collection of tools to spark your own healing journey. Tune in now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you listen—and share this with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.
Share it with anyone you know might benefit from this healing journey, and make sure to grab Stacey’s book in the links below.
Have you ever felt like you were finally okay—only to be blindsided by a wave of emotion you didn’t see coming? In this episode of Pursue Your Spark, “When Childhood Trauma Reawakens: Stacey Hettes on Healing After Midlife,” I sit down with Dr. Stacey Hettes, scientist, college professor, and author of Dispatches from the Couch, to explore how deeply buried childhood trauma can resurface in midlife—and how we begin to heal truly.
We dig into the ACEs framework (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and how Dr. Hettes used it to make sense of emotional shutdown, people-pleasing, and her own journey through PTSD. With her background in neuroscience, she explains how trauma physically rewires the brain—especially the amygdala and hippocampus—and how therapy helped her retrain those fear-based circuits over time.
This conversation challenges the idea that healing is quick or clean. We unpack what it means to “fawn” as a trauma response, why shame keeps us silent, and why therapy isn’t about being fixed—it’s about being seen. Dr. Hettes also shares how one triggering moment in adulthood cracked open decades of buried fear, and how that pain became a catalyst for growth.
More than anything, she reminds us that healing begins not when we ask what happened to me, but what did it do to me—and what do I do next?
✨ This is one of a collection of tools to spark your own healing journey. Tune in now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you listen—and share this with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.
Share it with anyone you know might benefit from this healing journey, and make sure to grab Stacey’s book in the links below.
October 10, 2025
Beat the 2 PM Crash: What to Eat After 40
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
If you find yourself hitting that afternoon wall where your brain slows down and your body begs for another coffee, you’re not alone. After 40, those 2 p.m. crashes can feel almost unavoidable. But here’s the thing—they’re not about a lack of willpower. They’re about midlife nutrition and how your body responds differently to food as hormones shift.
Midlife Nutrition After 40: Why Crashes Happen
In our 30s, we can often grab a quick sandwich or even skip lunch without too many consequences. But once estrogen begins its slow decline, things change. Lower estrogen makes your body more sensitive to carbs, while cortisol—the stress hormone—likes to throw in extra sugar spikes, especially when you’re tired. Add in a short night of sleep, and suddenly the same lunch that once worked fine can leave you foggy and ready for a nap.
The 2 p.m. slump isn’t a character flaw—it’s simply how midlife nutrition interacts with changing hormones. Understanding this is the first step toward resolving the issue.
Midlife Nutrition Tips from Real Women
Let me introduce you to three women—Emma, Lisa, and Jasmine—who each had their own version of the afternoon crash. They’re also part of the stories I share in my book Pursue Your Spark.
Emma skips lunch and runs on coffee until she hits the wall.
Lisa trains regularly and eats fairly well, but protein bars and sweet lattes sneak in.
Jasmine is strong and active, but still bonks on her hardest training days.
Each one needed a different midlife nutrition strategy to steady energy, and their approaches may help you too.
Midlife Nutrition for Beginners: Emma’s Shift
Emma represents many busy midlife women who believe skipping lunch saves time. In reality, it’s the perfect recipe for an afternoon crash. What made the difference for her was simply eating a balanced lunch before 1 p.m.
Instead of running on caffeine, Emma built her plate with protein, vegetables, smart carbs, and healthy fats. Think chicken with roasted broccoli and a small potato, or a lentil soup with a fresh salad. Once she ate this way consistently, her afternoons smoothed out, and coffee became a choice—not a crutch.
Midlife Nutrition for Energy: Lisa’s Shift
Lisa’s story is different. She already trained regularly and ate pretty well, but bars and lattes crept in when her day got busy. Her afternoons would start strong and then unravel with brain fog.
Her shift was to make protein the anchor of her lunch—around 30 grams—and then add a planned protein snack around 3 p.m. A Greek yogurt with berries and flax or even a boiled egg with veggies kept her steady. Once she had these in place, she no longer reached for vending machine snacks or felt the pull toward cheese and crackers later in the evening.
Midlife Nutrition for Active Women: Jasmine’s Shift
Then there’s Jasmine, who lifts, runs, and eats a healthy diet, but still found herself bonking on heavy training days. For her, midlife nutrition wasn’t about “more”—it was about timing. She learned to space her protein evenly throughout the day and place her heavier carbs around training sessions.
A salmon bowl with quinoa, roasted veggies, and avocado became a go-to meal. With this shift, Jasmine stopped crashing and had the energy she needed to power through long runs or hard lifting days without collapsing afterward.
Midlife Nutrition as Your Reset
What ties these stories together is that steady energy doesn’t come from restriction or willpower. It comes from making wise nutrition choices that align with your body at midlife. Lunch before 1 p.m., protein that anchors the afternoon, or placing carbs when you need them most—these are small shifts that create significant results.
When I trained for my first marathon, I thought carb-loading and sugar packets were the only way to get through. Instead, I felt sluggish and gained weight. It wasn’t until I looked at my nutrition through the lens of midlife changes that I finally understood how to support my energy, not fight against it.
So ask yourself: are you more like Emma, Lisa, or Jasmine? And what’s one small shift you can make this week to keep your afternoons steady?
If you find yourself hitting that afternoon wall where your brain slows down and your body begs for another coffee, you’re not alone. After 40, those 2 p.m. crashes can feel almost unavoidable. But here’s the thing—they’re not about a lack of willpower. They’re about midlife nutrition and how your body responds differently to food as hormones shift.
Midlife Nutrition After 40: Why Crashes Happen
In our 30s, we can often grab a quick sandwich or even skip lunch without too many consequences. But once estrogen begins its slow decline, things change. Lower estrogen makes your body more sensitive to carbs, while cortisol—the stress hormone—likes to throw in extra sugar spikes, especially when you’re tired. Add in a short night of sleep, and suddenly the same lunch that once worked fine can leave you foggy and ready for a nap.
The 2 p.m. slump isn’t a character flaw—it’s simply how midlife nutrition interacts with changing hormones. Understanding this is the first step toward resolving the issue.
Midlife Nutrition Tips from Real Women
Let me introduce you to three women—Emma, Lisa, and Jasmine—who each had their own version of the afternoon crash. They’re also part of the stories I share in my book Pursue Your Spark.
Emma skips lunch and runs on coffee until she hits the wall.
Lisa trains regularly and eats fairly well, but protein bars and sweet lattes sneak in.
Jasmine is strong and active, but still bonks on her hardest training days.
Each one needed a different midlife nutrition strategy to steady energy, and their approaches may help you too.
Midlife Nutrition for Beginners: Emma’s Shift
Emma represents many busy midlife women who believe skipping lunch saves time. In reality, it’s the perfect recipe for an afternoon crash. What made the difference for her was simply eating a balanced lunch before 1 p.m.
Instead of running on caffeine, Emma built her plate with protein, vegetables, smart carbs, and healthy fats. Think chicken with roasted broccoli and a small potato, or a lentil soup with a fresh salad. Once she ate this way consistently, her afternoons smoothed out, and coffee became a choice—not a crutch.
Midlife Nutrition for Energy: Lisa’s Shift
Lisa’s story is different. She already trained regularly and ate pretty well, but bars and lattes crept in when her day got busy. Her afternoons would start strong and then unravel with brain fog.
Her shift was to make protein the anchor of her lunch—around 30 grams—and then add a planned protein snack around 3 p.m. A Greek yogurt with berries and flax or even a boiled egg with veggies kept her steady. Once she had these in place, she no longer reached for vending machine snacks or felt the pull toward cheese and crackers later in the evening.
Midlife Nutrition for Active Women: Jasmine’s Shift
Then there’s Jasmine, who lifts, runs, and eats a healthy diet, but still found herself bonking on heavy training days. For her, midlife nutrition wasn’t about “more”—it was about timing. She learned to space her protein evenly throughout the day and place her heavier carbs around training sessions.
A salmon bowl with quinoa, roasted veggies, and avocado became a go-to meal. With this shift, Jasmine stopped crashing and had the energy she needed to power through long runs or hard lifting days without collapsing afterward.
Midlife Nutrition as Your Reset
What ties these stories together is that steady energy doesn’t come from restriction or willpower. It comes from making wise nutrition choices that align with your body at midlife. Lunch before 1 p.m., protein that anchors the afternoon, or placing carbs when you need them most—these are small shifts that create significant results.
When I trained for my first marathon, I thought carb-loading and sugar packets were the only way to get through. Instead, I felt sluggish and gained weight. It wasn’t until I looked at my nutrition through the lens of midlife changes that I finally understood how to support my energy, not fight against it.
So ask yourself: are you more like Emma, Lisa, or Jasmine? And what’s one small shift you can make this week to keep your afternoons steady?
