Stephanie Verni's Blog, page 15

Capturing Moments

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Capturing Moments

Capturing moments, instead of things—
A cloudless sky, a heron’s wings
The things we love
Have come to pass
Dimming sunshine
Darkness, alas—
Winter’s moods
Befall us here
When days are short
And nights are clear
The blackest night
We’ll soon have met
But days like these
We’ll not forget.
We’ll not forget
The way it felt
When bleakness left
And hearts did melt.

***

In August, my husband totally surprised me on my birthday and bought me a boat. Our friends were selling their boat and upgrading to a new one, so he bought the one they were selling.

In the COVID-19 world, I can’t even begin to tell you how much that gift has meant to me.

Since August, we have used it a lot—every chance we got we were out on the water (except for a couple of weeks when it needed repairs and my back was wonky).

On Monday, we took our last ride for the season, and the result is the poem I’ve shared above. I will miss it.

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(Incidentally, my fourth book is a collection of short stories and poetry. I love crafting poems, I just don’t do it as much as I should, or as much as I used to. There’s something so utterly personal and therapeutic about it.)

For more about my books, including The Postcard and Other Short Stories & Poetry, visit my Amazon page by clicking here.

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The 6 a.m Pledge for My Health

To the year 2020—you’ve been a disaster in so many ways. So many of us are tired and feeling the angst that has befallen us during these last many months. We’ve lost sleep, contact with people we love, the ability to move around in society in a normal way, and for many people, pay reductions and loss of jobs and livelihoods. Just this morning, I heard the story of someone who lost their store and is now homeless thanks to the pandemic.

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Reading, Writing, and an Empath for November

[image error]Dear Readers,

I hope you are well! It’s hard to believe it’s November 1st, especially after all we’ve collectively been through this year, but alas, here it is, and that means the next couple of months will be filled with family, friends, and love as the holidays approach.

While taking care of one another is paramount, it’s also important to care for yourself, as well. That can mean exercising, eating right, meditating, reading, relaxing, and giving way to things that make your heart happy.

For me, besides the wonderful gift of a boat that my husband gave me for my birthday in August—one of the greatest surprises of my lifetime—I’ve begun to tick away things that make me happy besides being on the water and spending time with my family on the river.

Therefore, I’ve decided to hunker down and finish this novel that I started earlier this year during National Novel Writing Month 2020 (NaNoWriMo). Currently sitting at 69,000 words, my work in progress is growing closer to completion, and I’m dedicating the month of November to finishing it.

After learning over the summer that I am, in fact, an empath after reading Judith Orloff’s book about empaths, I’ve grown even closer to the writing of the main character, Meg. Knowing my main character was going to be an empath was driving my story, but not until I researched it fully did I realize I, too, am a full-blown empath. Thus, the story I am trying to tell has become even easier knowing what I now know.

As writers, part of what we do is explore—we explore other people’s stories, their shortcomings, paths, and their triumphs—but we also find that sometimes we end up learning more about ourselves through research and exploration. So many things that have happened in my life, from mistakes and decisions I’ve made, to understanding people and relationships, made sense once I learned more about what having a strong empathic nature means.

Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with all of my findings, but I will tell you this—and it goes back to how I began this blog post—you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy, to do the things you want to do, while still caring for others and being kind.

Finishing my novel so that I can share it with you is important to me. And so, #NaNoWriMo, here I come. It’s time to read, write, and dive into my empath even more during November.

I’ll also be posting on Instagram in order to foster a sense of a community during this writing time. If you’d like to participate in it along with me, you can find me on Instagram at stephanie.verni.author.

Here’s the schedule of posts for the month! Play along, have fun, and make your heart happy.

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xx

Stephanie

Letting Go of Perfect

[image error]Finding Your Inner Coach by Brett Ledbetter. In this talk, Ledbetter asks this question: imagine you are on the field playing your sport and you miss a play or fumble the ball; if your thoughts about yourself could scroll on the scoreboard for everyone to see, would you be proud of what you are thinking about yourself? And likewise, would we say the same things to a fellow player?

The same is true in life. We have a tendency to beat ourselves up over things more than we need to as we reach to do it all perfectly. And yet, we disregard the most important question of all: “Are you doing the best you can?” If you answer yes, there’s no need to hold on to the idea of perfection.

This was meant to be a short post, but it’s turning out to be much longer than I imagined when I wrote the first few words.

So, let me wrap this up and end by saying this: I’m not suggesting that we should lower our expectations or give up on dreams. I absolutely refuse to do that. And I’m not saying that we shouldn’t give it the old college try and always put our best foot forward.

Nope. I’m not saying that at all. We should do those things.

But there is a thing called giving yourself grace. In other words, YOU have to be content with the effort YOU gave, even if it didn’t yield the perfect outcome. All we can ask of ourselves in any endeavor is to be honest with ourselves when we ask the question, “Did you give it all you’ve got?” If the answer is yes, then sometimes we just have to be content with that.

FROCKTOBER Fashions Meet Literacy Support for Kids

[image error]Day 1 – Book recommendation- Ellie: The Perfect Dress for Me by Cathy Rubin and Christopher Fowler

WELCOME TO FROCKTOBER
The month has arrived, my friends. For the fifth time, I am participating in #FROCKTOBER, an initiative that calls attention to a charity of choice by posting an outfit a day for the month of October. I’m always up for a good challenge, and this year, I’ve decided to blend my love of fashion with my love of books, writing, and reading.
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As an author, professor, and blogger, I love how creativity comes to us in many different ways, and I think combining FICTION & FASHION is a fun way to spend October!

Some Sentiments About 20 Years at Stevenson

[image error]One of my partners in crime: Inna Alesina. We taught The Mill (the agency class that works with actual clients) together and partnered again with a project in Advertising.

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Last week I received an email from human resources about celebrating 20 years at Stevenson University.

And I used to think the 13 years I spent at the Baltimore Orioles was a long time.

When I taught my very first semester at Stevenson in January of 2000, I was pregnant with my son, Matthew, and was hired as an adjunct professor. Now, Matthew is a junior in college. When you look at it through that lens, a long time has passed. I moved into full-time teaching in 2008, when Stevenson changed its name from Villa Julie College to Stevenson University. Prior to my time at Stevenson, I began teaching part-time at various community colleges while working at the Orioles starting in the All-Star Year of 1993. All this to say, I’ve been teaching for a while now.

When people say “time flies,” what they’re really saying is “I can’t believe what’s behind me” and we look to the future, knowing life is pretty fleeting.

Last year, I had the honor of being named one of the inaugural Teaching Fellows at the university. I can honestly say that after all these years of teaching, being a part of this team of five has been one of the best aspects of my life as a teacher. Working with others who have the same passion for teaching as I do has made the challenges we face currently with remote and hybrid learning that much more palpable, because we all continue to learn from each other. We support one another, and we support the greater Stevenson community. It has been an honor to serve in this capacity.

[image error]As well, working alongside my fellow communication colleagues and those in the School of Design has afforded me opportunities I will cherish, such as co-teaching a class, collaborating on programs, teaching special topics courses, and helping to create our master’s in communication studies. The list of things that we have collectively done has been so worthwhile.

And finally, the students. They are the reason I get up out of bed every day. They are the reason I work tirelessly to incorporate integrated learning into the classrooms. They are the reason I can lay my head on the pillow at night and feel as if I’ve accomplished something, especially when I see our graduates go out into the world and become successful and happy. The reward that comes from this type of work is heartening.

Twenty years have passed at Stevenson, and I still feel excited by the prospect of waking up and getting to roll my passion into fostering lifelong learners every single day. I’m truly thankful for these past 20 years.

[image error]Last year’s kick-off of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) on campus with the launch of my last novel that was started the year before during NaNoWriMo. This year’s event is virtual and will take place on Thursday, October 29 at 7 p.m.

Frocktober begins tomorrow & I’ve picked my charity

[image error]For the fourth year, I’ll be participating in Frocktober, a 31-day fashion challenge that calls attention to a charity of choice!

FROCKTOBER BEGINS TOMORROW…

And I’m announcing the charity I have chosen for the next 31 days.

What is FROCKTOBER?

It’s a 31-day fashion challenge, whereby you post an outfit a day on Instagram, that calls attention to a charity of choice!

As an educator, author, blogger, and reader, I am so happy to support and call attention to another woman of style’s organization that fosters reading: Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. Dolly’s nonprofit organization is a book gifting program that delivers free books to children from birth to age 5 in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, and Republic of Ireland. The organization was inspired by Dolly’s father’s inability to read and write. In 1995, Dolly started her Imagination Library, and as of August 2020, over 143 million books have been gifted. According to the website, for a $25 donation, a child will receive one book a month for a full year. How’s that for something special?

Being passionate about reading and writing is something I take with me into my daily work as a professor at a university and as a writer. The fashion thing is just for fun. I make no money off my fashion, or have yet to receive any “free” clothing or promo items. I have always looked at fashion as a way to express myself and be creative. It’s purely for fun, and I love a good challenge. As well, being able to read and write allows kids an opportunity to be free to express themselves, too, and to learn.

As I support this wonderful nonprofit organization over the next 31 days and try to assemble some cool outfits, I hope you will consider a small monetary donation to Imagination Library. You could truly make a difference in a child’s life. As well, as we are all stuck at home and maybe can’t volunteer or do service projects we might normally do, $25 could go a long way to providing a light in a child’s life during this pandemic, as well.

Please think about this cause, and I’ll try not to let you down with my fashions…and I’ll connect reading to my posts daily over the next month.

XX

Thanks for the support.

A Video Representation of my Work in Progess

Last night, I was able to finish reading through all of the chapters I have written so far of my new work in progress, a little more than 60,000 words. This book is a little different from the others I have previously written. And while it is set in the Annapolis area, its characters are all a bit lost and trying to find their way out of their current situations.

[image error]Moving into fall…and still working on my novel.

The glue that brings these people together is a woman who is an empath. Through something she does consciously to help others, the other four characters in the novel find each other. Writing five main characters who all narrate the book has been a challenge…a challenge I am totally up for.

I made this little video as a representation of the things that inspire me when I write about our gorgeous area and set a novel in a place that will make the story feel as realistic as possible, even though I am writing fiction. I spend time walking streets or puttering about in my new boat to garner descriptive ideas for my writing.

The creative process is one I thoroughly enjoy. I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t carve out time for my writing. It has become so much of me, and I can’t imagine ever giving it up.

Scenes reflecting my work in progress

Some Updates on Some things

As I’ve been a little out of touch, I thought I’d share a few updates, and things that have been happening during quarantine of late, starting with…

The Unnamed Boat

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of excitement. On my birthday in mid-August, my husband surprised me by purchasing a boat. Our friends upgraded to a new vessel, and he bought their boat. As I had been out on their boat several times, it was a lovely, and completely out-of-the-blue surprise.

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Since then, we’ve been spending as much time on the water as we can before the season ends. Growing up, my dad had boats. When I was younger, I would take his 18-foot boat out on the Magothy River. A lot of my friends had boats, too, so if we weren’t on our family’s boat, we were on other boats. Getting a similar 18-foot boat for my birthday brings me such joy. It’s making me feel like a teenager again and reminding me of an activity I loved so much. And now, I get the opportunity to share my love of the water with both my husband and my children. So far, I’m still getting reacquainted with the rules of the river, and I’m on a different river—the Severn River, which leads to the Chesapeake Bay and Annapolis. We’ve gone out with my parents, Captain Doug and Leni, and this past weekend, we took Mark and Jo, Anthony’s parents, for a spin. It’s all new and familiar at the same time, and it’s a wonderful thing to feel the air on our faces and enjoy the breezes, the views, and getting to know a new river. As many of my books feature boats and boating prominently in them, I suppose you could say I wrote about something I knew a little about; now, I hope to know much more about it as a boat owner.

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Any ideas for a name for the boat?

A Different College Life

As a college professor, we have learned that we are teaching remotely for now. Having just come off teaching an 8-week online graduate course in Contemporary Communication, I just finished lecturing three straight classes online. It’s not awful, but it’s not how we teachers typically like to teach. Seeing students in person is always the best, but under these circumstances with COVID, we are making it work. As an inaugural Faculty Fellow for 2019-2021, this past summer involved a great deal of preparation and meetings to help faculty prepare for any circumstance that would come our way. From running workshops, to meeting weekly alongside the other four Fellows, to facilitating “drop in help sessions,” we have tried our best to make the transition from in-person learning to online learning as seamless as possible. It’s been an honor to work with my fellow Fellows—VJ, Aaron, Beth, and Maria—and I look forward to another productive year with them as we continue to plan faculty development workshops.

[image error]Two college students home for the semester.

Both of my children are also college students, one junior and one freshman, who are both attending classes remotely from home. My son opted not even to move in to his university, and my daughter was sent home from her dorm last Thursday. So, here we are again, all working from our desk chairs all over the house as many of you are doing, too. It’s been an interesting dynamic, and one that so many of us are starting to get used to doing daily.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have urged my children to write about this crazy time. Twenty years from now when they have kids of their own, they may want to remember more clearly just how this all happened. It’s amazing how our minds can forget, and writing things down in a journal or in a document on your computer, in essence keeping a journal, is the best way to catalogue this time of our lives to share with future generations.

The Latest on My Work-In-Progress

My latest novel is sitting at 60,000+ words. I made good progress over the summer, but not enough to finish it. The story is about an empath and the lives she touches over the course of one full year. The idea came to me last year when I was trying to figure out how the story was going to unfold. It is set once again in my beautiful hometown of Annapolis, as I did with my first novel, Beneath the Mimosa Tree. I have a working title, but am not comfortable sharing it just yet. And in a new approach to writing, I have decided to query the hell out of literary agents this time instead of self-publishing from the get-go. If I have no luck, I will consider self-publishing again.

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Let’s Connect on Instagram

Over the last several months since COVID, I’ve been so thankful to connect with more people—writers, artists, readers, students, filmmakers—on Instagram, and it’s why it’s my favorite social media outlet. From being able to share my writing progress, university updates, family, friends, and fun photos, along with fashion, it’s by far my favorite place to hangout and meet new people. And I’ve made several new friendships through this platform as well! Connect with me there, and I promise to follow back! I look forward to getting to know you!

stephanie.verni.author/instagram.

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What I’m Watching – Person of Interest

After Game of Thrones ended, it was difficult for me to sink my teeth into anything new. As someone who came very late to the Game of Thrones party and binge-watched it before the final season, I was madly in love with the show and will go on record as saying it’s the best thing I’ve seen on television. I even watched it a second time through with my kids. I loved it just as much the second time around.

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When selecting our a new show to watch, we took the suggestion of our friend, Craig, and began watching Person of Interest. I have to say, while it’s not GOT or anything remotely like it, it has been something fun to look forward to watching in the evenings. It’s got an interesting plot line, intriguing characters, and three bad-ass women who are good gals. It stars Jim Caviezel (Mr. Reese) and Michael Emerson (Harold), along with Taraji Henson (Carter), Amy Ackers (Root), Kevin Chapman (Fusco), and Sarah Shahi (my favorite, Shaw).

If you think your iPhone is listening to everything you say, you are most likely not wrong. And this series focuses on a government machine that spies on people. It’s fascinating.

What I’m Reading



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I’m currently reading Coincidence of Coconut Cake. It’s mildly entertaining so far, but I’m not done. A book that I recently read, however, that I can highly recommend is How to Find Love in a Bookshop. That book was charming, albeit predictable, but it’s just a fun romp through Oxford and the Cotswolds with a wide range of characters of all ages that are charming. If you love books, reading, bookshops, and sentimental sweetness, this book’s for you.

That’s all for now, my friends. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I’ll check in with you later.

xx

Stephanie

Anxiety at 3:30 a.m.

I can’t believe I’m sitting her typing this at 3:30 in the morning, but I am. I’m getting angrier by the minute that I can’t fall asleep and that my heart is racing for no good reason. This happens to me a few times a year, and like a dummy, I allow it to get the better of me instead of going with the flow.

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The worst part of all is that I’m actually exhausted.

I suppose I should be thankful because it allows me a few moments to write a blog post, something I haven’t tackled since my birthday because I’ve been too busy.

There are many of you who suffer the same. Insomnia is awful. The house is quiet, it’s raining, and every once in a while I see a flash of light and hear a slight rumble of thunder.

You’d think I’d be able to sleep after the week I had, listening to the rain fall, but I think my adrenaline is going strong.

Just this week, I had a crown replaced on my tooth and I visited the doctor for my spine, which hasn’t been the same since March 2019. I also worked my butt off trying to get ready for the fall semester at my university. I’m teaching five classes, and there was a lot of preparation for those courses. Ironically, my back isn’t bothering me in the least bit.

My head seems to have taken over.

When you’re up at this hour and the rest of the world is sleeping, it can be creepy, but it also gives you the endless silence to think, pray, or meditate. I’ve tried all three, and at the moment, the only thing that’s keeping me sane is hearing my fingers click on the keyboard.

Two weeks ago for my birthday, my husband bought me a boat.

You heard me. A boat.

It was one of the best surprises of my life. I was gobsmacked.

It’s a used boat that belonged to our friends, but they upgraded, and it allowed us an opportunity to get a boat from people who took good care of it, along with an existing slip that’s just a little over a mile away from our house. It’s perfect.

You would think I wouldn’t have anxiety because the water calms me. As I’ve recently learned that I’m a full-blown empath, I grew to understand as well why I have the extreme need to be near or on the water. The empath book taught me so much about myself and helped me put the puzzle together of why I am the way I am.

So, bingo there.

But then we have the insomnia thing again.

Periodically, throughout my life, I’ve been tortured with being unable to fall asleep. I remember being afraid that Dracula was going to come in my room and bite my neck when I was a kid in my room in Bowie, MD. I slept with my cross over my bed (it’s still with me as a married woman next to my bed on the wall), and was ready to ward off any caped men with long teeth. A bunch of the neighborhood kids and I had walked up to the elementary school to see the Saturday movie in the cafeteria. It happened to be “Dracula,” and it kept me awake for many, many nights after seeing the movie.

Typically when I have insomnia, it’s not because I’m worrying about any one thing. It’s typically a culmination of things. The list today is a long one, so I won’t trouble you with it here, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a glass of wine next to me as I write this and attempt to coax myself to sleep.

The worst part of having insomnia is that it kills you the next day, and the one after that. It takes several days to feel normal again, if any of us is even capable of feeling normal during these unprecedented times. I’m certain that I’m feeling less and less normal with each passing day, which is a terrible thing to say as someone who typically tries to find the good in things and stay optimistic.

I have a boat, and I’m an empth with anxiety.

How’s that shaking out for me thus far?