Melyssa Williams's Blog, page 9

I accidentally bought $900 shoes

So I keep reading and hearing and seeing about clogs.  You know, the kinda cute, slip on footwear?  My pals who stand on their feet all day swear on their comfort and I know women who would never cheat on their Dansko brand clogs.

Somehow I've never owned a pair.  Probably because of my high insteps.  Anyhoo.  I got thyself to Goodwill the other day and found two pairs that were kind of cute and both seemed to fit my Flintstone/Hobbit feet.  One was oh, I don't know, what brand, but a fairly common, middle of the line, one.

The other...
the other that I bought...

was a European brand.
Called Abba.

It did not occur to me that this brand was actually Abba.

You know, like Dancing Queen Abba?

But they are.

Vintage.
European.
Abba clogs.

Searching all over the web brought me a couple facts:

1.  These are extremely difficult to find.

2.  A pair sold on Ebay a couple years ago for $900.

Now, I don't have the box (which is quite OBVIOUSLY Abba, complete with photos) but the clogs themselves are in amazing shape.

I wore them once for a quick trip to the grocery store.

They hurt like heck.  It seemed as though they have tiny men with tiny spears jumping up and down on my instep.

So if you want em, I'll make ya a deal and sell em to you for half of what they're worth.  $450.

That's a profit for me of $445.01


And you thought I couldn't be a picker!  HA!  Beat that if you can!

Homemade Coffee House Drinks

If you're like me, you're too cheap to buy Starbucks or Moxie or Dutch Bros or whatever your poison is, very often.  Sometimes I splurge but since I used to work in a coffee house and drank my lifetime supply of mochas in three short years and also because my dream cup of coffee of choice is just plain ol' French Roast, I typically make my own at home.

Here are a couple recipes the girls and I came up with.  Anna prefers tea so if you do as well, simply substitute your favorite bag accordingly.  Or leave out the caffeine altogether and have yourself a steamer!

Start with this:


I got mine at Fred Meyer's for about $4.  You only need a teaspoon per cup.

And add it to some hot milk.  You can microwave but somehow it tastes better if you whisk it in a pot on the stove.

Use whatever percentage of milk that floats your boat.  But the creamier the better!

Gingerbread Latte:


Add to your hot mess a spoonful of molasses, an equal amount of brown sugar, and top with cinnamon and ginger.

Tastes like you spent $4, plus you get to sip out of your favorite mug at home, while reading a book or knitting or watching Worst Cooks in America.

White Chocolate Mocha:


When your milk is nice and hot, toss in several (a small palmful) white chocolate chips.  Stir until they melt and add your espresso powder.  Voila!

You can also use these yummy instant coffee straw-like envelopes from Starbucks but evidently they are made from gold leaf and strands of angel's hair so you won't be able to afford them.



Enjoy your afternoon pick-me-up!

Published! Not yet.

Waiting on a new head shot...


...REALLY hope it's worth waiting for...


...itching to hit that Publish button...


...soon.


Thanks for being patient. And for being excited. 


If my photo turns out like a typical photo of moi (three chins and no eyes) I will opt out of the head shot photo idea and just remain your mysterious author.


That is all.


Check back soon.


Please.

Shadows Gray: summary

Sonnet Gray has problems, and not just those of a typical 18 year old.  Her family is one of the Lost; time travelers who have no power over their journeys.  Hopelessly old fashioned and yet more modern than most girls, Sonnet speaks several languages and takes care of her motley crue back home by working in a coffee shop and playing guitar.  Over time, the Lost leave behind those they love and pick up new characters along the way.  In twenty-first century America, Sonnet meets Emme, a Lost young woman with a questionable line of work, Luke, a mysterious photographer, and Israel, a young doctor .  But no one can take the place of Sonnet's sister, Rose, who was left behind as a baby in the fifteenth century.  The ghost of her beckons from each time and place; but what's real and what isn't? Is Rose Gray trying to contact her before it's too late?

A ghost story with a sci-fi, Gothic romance twist, Shadow's Gray will keep you up at night, wondering: is the redemptive power of love enough to change history? 

Available for download this week.

Shadows Gray

This is my cover art.

I think it's smashing.

It's coming.
I've nearly hit Publish.
I'm almost ready.
But I'm skeered.

Soon my little minions (that's YOU) come into play.  I need your help marketing and selling and buying.  You don't have to buy anything processed or sold, or sell anything processed or bought, or process anything sold...bought... Sorry, Lloyd Dobler occasionally takes up residence in my noggin.  He's gone now.  Back to the topic at hand.

I can't sell anything.  I couldn't sell a glass of water to a burning man.  Why is he burning?  I don't know.  I would probably spill the glass while asking him about it.  He'd burn to death while I dilly dallyed talking to him about his day.  In any case I would ultimately convince him he wasn't really thirsty and my glass of water was too expensive and wouldn't he really rather have milk and fire looks good on him.

I sold Mary Kay once.  For like, ten minutes.  Everyone took advantage of my niceness and wrote me checks that bounced and took off with all my samples.  I was not successful.

I even get nervous and clammy hosting those scam parties where someone else does the selling of the tupperware or candles or stoneware or whathaveyou.  I'm not even the one doing the selling and I'll mess it up.

So I  need you guys.  I wrote the book.  You sell it for me?  Puhleeze? Word of mouth is everything in this business (or so I've heard).   Here's how to help:

1.  Buy it and write a little review.  You know, nothing over the top, just something like this was the best book I ever read!  Shakespeare could learn a little something from this amazing new author!  Tolstoy was a hack next to Ms Williams!  You know.  Something simple like that.

2.  Tell your friends.  Family.  Random strangers.  Snakes on a plane.  Etc.

3.  Join places like goodreads.com and listopia.  Write up a quick "List of My Favorite Books" and put Shadows Gray on it.  It only takes a minute.

4.  If you have a blog, will you feature the book?  Write a review or interview me?  Comment or email me and let me know if you are willing.

5.  Share the links and picture on your Facebook wall.  Once or twice.  Or every Thursday for the rest of your life.  Three times on weekends and every holiday.  Other than that, I won't take up too much of your wall.

6.  Leave comments and reviews on places like Amazon and Barnes and Noble (where it will be sold).


If none of that works and we only sell four copies (three to my mommy) it's okay.  I still had fun writing it and I greatly appreciate all of you cheering me on and telling me I could do it.  That's worth its weight in gold (and royalties).

Stay tuned this week for all the links to the published book!  Follow them and buy one (or eleven) if you would!

You're the best minions ever and I love you ever so much.

You've Reached Gianni

I feel the need to apologize if you get a phone call from me.  To be more precise, from my son, (whomigavebirthtowithouttheuseofdrugscanigetanAmen?) who is completely obsessed with making phone calls. I've tried telling him he should attempt to leave the house more than once per week but he looks at me all funny, hikes up his pajama bottoms and last week's boxers, and dials yet another number.  His nearest and dearest have learned to not answer the calls.  Even Gramma, who CLAIMS she was painting ceilings.  All day.  And all day tomorrow.  Possibly into next week.  Of course, all he wants to talk about is video games, Milo's whereabouts, the odor of his own poo, his owies, movies, and Star Wars, so I do understand the phone screening.  I'd screen his calls too, but he doesn't need a phone to talk my ear off.  He just needs to follow me into the little mom's room where I'm peacefully lathering my hair in silence only to be brought down to earth by a small, nekked man doing #2 a mere 18 inches from my shower stall.

"Why can't you do that in the other bathroom?"  I demand, peeking out, shampoo blinding me for life (if the smell from last night's chili doesn't do me in first).

"Cuz I need to talk to you," he says, cheerily, elbows on his bare knees.  He has to strip down for #2.  Don't ask why.

"Talk to me about what?"

"Well, thanks for dinner tonight," he says.

"Umm.  You're welcome."

"Next time could you make something that tastes yummy?"

"OUT!"

"I'm not done yet.  So...do you wanna talk about Darth Maul or Darth Sidious first?"

After seventy-eleventh descriptions of clone troopers vs. storm troopers, he manages to waddle off (waddle because his legs will have fallen asleep, leaving behind a bright scarlet, toilet bowl shaped ring on his backside), leaving me in a green, vaporous mushroom cloud of death.  My hair immediately loses it's promised bounce and vitality as I struggle to regain consciousness.

So you understand why I'm trying to limit the guy's phone skills.  Anyhoo, he was unintentionally cracking me up today because he has heard this message far too many times now:

To leave a voice message, press 1 after the beep.


But he thinks it says,

To leave a boy's message, press 1 after the beep.


So, he grumpily presses 1 (because he's a boy) and promptly hangs up.

This makes me laugh.

He gets confused sometimes if he's leaving a message for a girl.  He doesn't know what number to press.  Is it 2?  Is it 9?  Is Gramma a girl?  So many unanswered questions!  Life is hard when you're four years old and no one will take your calls.  Should he always press 1 because he's always a boy, even if he's calling a girl?  The operator has not made this clear.  It's a conundrum and it furrows his little brow.