Annette Camp's Blog, page 13

I did a thing...

So yesterday was my birthday...and I did a thing. 


Have a good day and don't pee your pants!

True Intimacy

I recently found an old poem that I wrote and had titled True Intimacy. In the spirit of vulnerability, I thought that I would share it in the hopes that someone somewhere would sense the hope of feeling true intimacy despite past tragedy.

True Intimacy By: KAT (Kay Annette Thomas)
As a child of sexual violations,a youth of physical abuseand sexual assaults, and ateenager of various planned rapes,I became an untrusting adultof very little expression --intimately, that is of course.
I have since learnedthat sex can be aboutgiving pleasure to another.It can also be aboutreceiving physical satisfaction,the joining of body and mind. This is true intimacy.
This I shared with youas I laid there andwept as you held meand you allowed me to share with you how far I had come and how special you were to me.

What does the Divine Light illuminate in my life?

On March 12, 2012, I wrote out my personal mission statement for that year. I still hold it to be true: "I will express my willingness to grow spiritual and poetic sides by learning about and changing that which I can, by being connected to that which is around me, and by putting pen to paper and relating my personal experiences." I continue to grow spiritually and poetically. Thus, I will share a recent discovery.
I'm participating in an eRetreat, and was asked to draw, paint, write in your journal or create something about, write music to, or meditate upon the question, "What does the Divine Light illuminate in my life?" This poem came forth:

Today I Saw God
By: Annette McFarlane

 

Today
I saw the
Light of God
In the sunshine
From my window.

 

I saw the
Love of God
In the smile
Of a young child.

 

I saw the
Joy of God
In the laughter
Of a couple
In the coffee shop.

 

I saw the
Warmth of God
In the exchange
Of a friend’s embrace.

 

Today –

 

Today
I saw
God.

A Lesson in Humility

Today, my heart cracked open. Like a nut in the grips of a nutcracker. I burst, as a woman expressed the harsh words of criticism toward someone. Just moments after a young man expressed the great pain he felt under the cruel reality of another's hurtful words. How can we be the peace, love, hope, and light that a man sang about a half an hour earlier? 

This scene felt very familiar. Like being punched in the gut, it took my breath away and hurt deeply. I'd been on both sides of this conversation - the voice of criticism and the subject of hurtful words. How can the peace, love, hope, and light flow from me like a river?
I must share the wounds of my exposed heart and know that "the act of sharing your vulnerability is the birthplace of pure love." Do not run from it. Run toward it. For there is where the peace, love, hope, and light are. Do it now.

The Birthplace of Pure Love

I have not written in quite some time. I got married and life got busy. I did recently write the poem below and wanted to share it here with you all. I hope that, after reading it, you give the idea of vulnerability a thought. After some contemplation, drop a comment below and share your line of thinking.

The Birthplace of Pure Love

By: Annette McFarlane

 

Dare to be vulnerable?

To pull off your suit of

armor and acknowledge

insecurities, fears, flaws,

or difficult emotions?

To expose yourself,

risking rejection, and

injury to your very soul?

 

Dare to be vulnerable?

To lower your defenses

and stand emotionally

naked before someone?

Stripped of your heart’s

protection, which may

require careful handling?

 

Dare to be vulnerable?

To allow another to know

all the fragile thoughts,

feelings, and parts of

you that are imperfect

and be willingly susceptible

to hurt, harm or attack?

 

Why dare to be vulnerable?

It builds trust, empathy, and

strengthens relationships.

While it may be scary and

takes so much courage to

open up, the act of sharing

your vulnerability is the

birthplace of pure love.

Honey In My Heart

Honey In My Heart
By: Annette Thomas

I have never once felt

Unloved by either of you.

You took me into your

Lives at a time when

Your daughter had

Just came out.

At an emotional time

When you yourselves

Were processing

Your own feelings

Around that news.

But what did you do?

You opened, not only

Your home to me,

But your lives.

You could have

Done as many others

Have and rejected me.

But No. You poured

Honey in my heart –

That same sweet and

Unconditional love

That you gave your

Own daughter.

Then 4 short months

Later, when I came to

You and asked for

Your blessing as I

Wanted to ask Elaine

To marry me…

What did you do?

Did you tell me no,

Despite any of a

Number of emotions

Or reservations you

Might have had?

No. You once again

Just opened your

Arms and heart,

Pouring in more

Sweet unconditional

Love into my life.

So, as I stand here

Today and make my

Vow to Elaine, I also

Want to say thank

You for pouring all

That honey in my heart.

Honey In My HeartBy: Annette ThomasI have never once felt...

Honey In My Heart
By: Annette Thomas
I have never once feltUnloved by either of you.You took me into yourLives at a time whenYour daughter hadJust came out.
At an emotional timeWhen you yourselvesWere processingYour own feelingsAround that news.But what did you do?
You opened, not onlyYour home to me,But your lives.You could haveDone as many othersHave and rejected me.
But No. You pouredHoney in my heart – That same sweet and Unconditional love That you gave yourOwn daughter.
Then 4 short monthsLater, when I came toYou and asked forYour blessing as IWanted to ask ElaineTo marry me…
What did you do?Did you tell me no,Despite any of aNumber of emotionsOr reservations youMight have had?
No. You once againJust opened your Arms and heart,Pouring in moreSweet unconditionalLove into my life.
So, as I stand hereToday and make myVow to Elaine, I alsoWant to say thank You for pouring allThat honey in my heart.

Nothing Can Beat This

Nothing Can Beat This

By: Annette Thomas

All the miles on the road

And messages on the screen;

All the visits with family

And the meeting of friends;

Joining her at church in

A moment of prayer;

And simple connections

Sitting on the porch;

Shared adventures and

Surprise I love you texts;

Cooking together and

The one-on-one time;

The kisses at red lights

And just because hugs;

Impromptu events and

Countless other blessings;

Nothing can beat this

But her saying ‘Yes!’

To spending the rest

Of our days together.

Nothing Can Beat ThisBy: Annette ThomasAll the miles on t...

Nothing Can Beat ThisBy: Annette Thomas
All the miles on the roadAnd messages on the screen;All the visits with familyAnd the meeting of friends;
Joining her at church inA moment of prayer;And simple connectionsSitting on the porch;
Shared adventures andSurprise I love you texts;Cooking together andThe one-on-one time;
The kisses at red lightsAnd just because hugs;Impromptu events andCountless other blessings;
Nothing can beat thisBut her saying ‘Yes!’To spending the restOf our days together.

There is hope

Soul AttractionBy: Annette Thomas
Some say it just the honeymoon phase.Everything is fresh and exciting. Itfeels perfect.
We are constantlylearning new thingsabout each other,and having firstexperiences together.
Many say that it isduring this period thatsound judgement takesa timeout and red flags are often ignored.
It is initiated due toa physical attraction, which is a gut reactionor instant instinct and could steer you wrong.
We, however, have more than that. We have such an intenseemotional intimacy -and it keeps growing.
We are able to reveal and communicate true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires, even at the risk of being vulnerable.
There is no other wayto explain this sense of safety, and trust than to simply say it is a soul attraction.