Luke Smitherd's Blog, page 5
June 30, 2016
The Man on Table Ten - Free on Amazon until July 3
US: http://amzn.to/294lfJJ
UK: http://amzn.to/294nBZ3
It's a story that he hasn't told anyone for fifty years. A secret that he's kept ever since he grew tired of the disbelieving faces and doctors' reports advising medication. He's been careful. He hasn't even touched a single drop of booze since that one, fateful evening.
This is why his decision on this day - the decision to have three drinks - will change the life of bright young waitress Lisa Willoughby forever. For today,The Man On Table Ten has decided that he wants to share his incredible tale.
Lisa's been around old drunks before. She's heard her fair share of unlikely urban legends and creepy stories; tall bar room tales of science fiction that made her roll her eyes while wearing a plastered-on smile. But today is different. The Man on Table Ten is different. True, this mysterious stranger's story of psychic abilities and supernatural creatures is straight out of the Twilight Zone ... but there is something about his impossibly blue eyes that Lisa just cannot ignore.
When he is finished, she will have to worry. Once the tale is told, and she knows the unbelievable burden that The Man On Table Ten has had to carry throughout the years. When she knows of his incredible sacrifice and the mysterious reason for his strange quality of life. When she knows the truth, and is left powerless to do anything except watch for the signs ...
All of that will come later. For now, The Man On Table Ten is talking; pull up a chair. After all, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you did, would it?
An unusual supernatural thriller, exclusively for the Kindle, THE MAN ON TABLE TEN - A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE FICTION TALE is another release in the range of metaphysical kindle books from Luke Smitherd, the author of the Amazon number one bestseller THE STONE MAN. Original and compelling, the mysterious stranger's paranormal tale will leave you breathless and listening carefully, wondering if that sound you can hear might just be 'pouring sand that grows louder with every second ... '
UK: http://amzn.to/294nBZ3
It's a story that he hasn't told anyone for fifty years. A secret that he's kept ever since he grew tired of the disbelieving faces and doctors' reports advising medication. He's been careful. He hasn't even touched a single drop of booze since that one, fateful evening.
This is why his decision on this day - the decision to have three drinks - will change the life of bright young waitress Lisa Willoughby forever. For today,The Man On Table Ten has decided that he wants to share his incredible tale.
Lisa's been around old drunks before. She's heard her fair share of unlikely urban legends and creepy stories; tall bar room tales of science fiction that made her roll her eyes while wearing a plastered-on smile. But today is different. The Man on Table Ten is different. True, this mysterious stranger's story of psychic abilities and supernatural creatures is straight out of the Twilight Zone ... but there is something about his impossibly blue eyes that Lisa just cannot ignore.
When he is finished, she will have to worry. Once the tale is told, and she knows the unbelievable burden that The Man On Table Ten has had to carry throughout the years. When she knows of his incredible sacrifice and the mysterious reason for his strange quality of life. When she knows the truth, and is left powerless to do anything except watch for the signs ...
All of that will come later. For now, The Man On Table Ten is talking; pull up a chair. After all, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you did, would it?
An unusual supernatural thriller, exclusively for the Kindle, THE MAN ON TABLE TEN - A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE FICTION TALE is another release in the range of metaphysical kindle books from Luke Smitherd, the author of the Amazon number one bestseller THE STONE MAN. Original and compelling, the mysterious stranger's paranormal tale will leave you breathless and listening carefully, wondering if that sound you can hear might just be 'pouring sand that grows louder with every second ... '
June 24, 2016
He Waits - Free on Amazon until June 28
US:
http://amzn.to/28UZOhR
UK:
http://amzn.to/28R5yKk
A Book of Strange and Disturbing Horror
Quite literally, no escape. Because he's always with you. And in the real world -the world of you, the reader - HE WAITS will stay in your mind in a way that you won't expect ...
A campsite. A family holiday. A broken down car. And an approaching breakdown truck that is just the start of Shelley's nightmare. By the time the sun sets, someone in that field will be dead, and Shelley must somehow make sure it isn't one of her children ... KEEP YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE is a story that you will find impossible to predict.
Praise for HE WAITS:
"In the horror genre, familiarity absolutely does breed contempt, and Smitherd obviously knows this. Why else would he be so talented at expertly crafting stories that defy expectations? For me there is no greater joy than seeing an artist excel at his craft." - Aintitcoolnews.com
http://amzn.to/28UZOhR
UK:
http://amzn.to/28R5yKk
A Book of Strange and Disturbing Horror
Quite literally, no escape. Because he's always with you. And in the real world -the world of you, the reader - HE WAITS will stay in your mind in a way that you won't expect ...
A campsite. A family holiday. A broken down car. And an approaching breakdown truck that is just the start of Shelley's nightmare. By the time the sun sets, someone in that field will be dead, and Shelley must somehow make sure it isn't one of her children ... KEEP YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE is a story that you will find impossible to predict.
Praise for HE WAITS:
"In the horror genre, familiarity absolutely does breed contempt, and Smitherd obviously knows this. Why else would he be so talented at expertly crafting stories that defy expectations? For me there is no greater joy than seeing an artist excel at his craft." - Aintitcoolnews.com
June 21, 2016
A Head Full of Knives - Free until June 23
A Head Full of Knives is free on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. If you haven't read it yet, now is a good time to pick up a copy.
http://amzn.to/28N6QWD
Let's imagine you're waiting to catch a train.
Would you wonder about the people standing next to you on the platform? Ordinary people, business types. Respectable. Normal. People that you don't need to worry about.
How would you know that they aren't going to suddenly push you in front of an oncoming train?
But hey ...they're strangers. They could be capable of anything ...but what if you couldn't even trust the people you loved?
What if even your pets acted strangely? If you found yourself being watched by other animals that come and wait outside your house at night, staring up at your windows in the dark?
Martin Hogan doesn't have to imagine this. It's all happening to him right now; his life is about to spiral further and further into the terrifying and inexplicable as he finds out why.
Because even though he doesn't know it yet, Martin Hogan is the man that has to decide the fate of humanity ...
http://amzn.to/28N6QWD
Let's imagine you're waiting to catch a train.
Would you wonder about the people standing next to you on the platform? Ordinary people, business types. Respectable. Normal. People that you don't need to worry about.
How would you know that they aren't going to suddenly push you in front of an oncoming train?
But hey ...they're strangers. They could be capable of anything ...but what if you couldn't even trust the people you loved?
What if even your pets acted strangely? If you found yourself being watched by other animals that come and wait outside your house at night, staring up at your windows in the dark?
Martin Hogan doesn't have to imagine this. It's all happening to him right now; his life is about to spiral further and further into the terrifying and inexplicable as he finds out why.
Because even though he doesn't know it yet, Martin Hogan is the man that has to decide the fate of humanity ...
June 14, 2016
Smitherd & Shaw Podcast - Are You Sure? - Episode 4 - Now Available
https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
#4 is up: We finally find out how many listeners we have!
We’ve made it to episode 4 of the podcast that is apparently 'for the more discerning idiot’, featuring The Edition Of Transatlantic Swearing That Luke Tried To Ban; it’s here folks, the worst swearword possible …and it’s NOT the C-Bomb.
This week, Matt buys a dog and tries a little Are You Sure? ju-jitsu, while Luke tells of his adventures in a Hooters restaurant and a Chinese Massage parlour.
Are You Sure? this week looks at Reaction Videos and Virtual Reality, the latter of which descends into a discussion about the colossal implications of a world where Sex Machines actually exist.
Plus It’ll Never Work featuring a listener suggestion for a more advanced toilet, a subject perfect for the world’s foremost 50 percent grudgingly toilet humour podcast.
Subscribe to get each fortnightly episode sent directly to your device as they are released!
#4 is up: We finally find out how many listeners we have!
We’ve made it to episode 4 of the podcast that is apparently 'for the more discerning idiot’, featuring The Edition Of Transatlantic Swearing That Luke Tried To Ban; it’s here folks, the worst swearword possible …and it’s NOT the C-Bomb.
This week, Matt buys a dog and tries a little Are You Sure? ju-jitsu, while Luke tells of his adventures in a Hooters restaurant and a Chinese Massage parlour.
Are You Sure? this week looks at Reaction Videos and Virtual Reality, the latter of which descends into a discussion about the colossal implications of a world where Sex Machines actually exist.
Plus It’ll Never Work featuring a listener suggestion for a more advanced toilet, a subject perfect for the world’s foremost 50 percent grudgingly toilet humour podcast.
Subscribe to get each fortnightly episode sent directly to your device as they are released!
June 1, 2016
Podcast - Episode 3 - Smitherd & Shaw - Are You Sure? Now Available
Episode 3 of mine and Matt Shaw's comedy podcast Are You Sure? with Smitherd and Shaw is up now on iTunes, Soundcloud, and Stitcher.
If you haven't listened yet and fancy laughing very, very little, check it out, if only to get your hands on the FREE AUDIOBOOKS we're giving away this week.
In this episode we ask Are You Sure? about vaping and cosplay, as well as the usual features including Transatlantic Swearing and some very awkward conversation lycra.
Give us a download and try it out on your way to work or while having a shit.
https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/a...
If you haven't listened yet and fancy laughing very, very little, check it out, if only to get your hands on the FREE AUDIOBOOKS we're giving away this week.
In this episode we ask Are You Sure? about vaping and cosplay, as well as the usual features including Transatlantic Swearing and some very awkward conversation lycra.
Give us a download and try it out on your way to work or while having a shit.
https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/a...
May 31, 2016
May 25, 2016
May 23, 2016
Captain America: Civil War
Captain America: Civil War. Hands down, the best Marvel movie; which, in a lot of ways, isn't saying much, but this was very nicely done in all aspects, and downright thrilling at points. Basically what Age of Ultron should have been, and really enjoyable. Thoroughly recommended.
To use wrestling parlance to describe the fight scenes, the booking was (apart from one fairly major complaint) near-perfect, and the high spots were absolutely fantastic. Plus: thank Christ. Finally - FINALLY - we got Spidey on the big screen the way he should be. 1. A costume that actually looks like spandex and not some ridiculous pseudo-chain mail 2. a mask with John Romita-style eyes, 3. still having mechanical web-shooters, 4. A perfectly cast young Peter Parker, and 5. Spidey dialogue that is actually likeable and funny and not utterly out of keeping with the out-of-costume Peter. Superb.
To use wrestling parlance to describe the fight scenes, the booking was (apart from one fairly major complaint) near-perfect, and the high spots were absolutely fantastic. Plus: thank Christ. Finally - FINALLY - we got Spidey on the big screen the way he should be. 1. A costume that actually looks like spandex and not some ridiculous pseudo-chain mail 2. a mask with John Romita-style eyes, 3. still having mechanical web-shooters, 4. A perfectly cast young Peter Parker, and 5. Spidey dialogue that is actually likeable and funny and not utterly out of keeping with the out-of-costume Peter. Superb.
May 20, 2016
WEIRD. DARK. GIVEAWAY
Don't forget to enter the GIVEAWAY for WEIRD. DARK., which includes three of my novellas, plus a bonus short story not available anywhere else. It runs through June 7.
MY NAME IS MISTER GRIEF: what if you could get rid of your pain immediately? What price would you be prepared to pay?
HOLD ON UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BREAK: a hangover, a forgotten night out, old men screaming in the street, and a mystery with a terrible, terrible answer ...
THE MAN ON TABLE TEN: he has a story to tell you. One that he has kept secret for decades. But now, the man on table ten can take no more, and the knowledge - as well as the burden - is now yours.
EXCLUSIVE story, THE CRASH: if you put a dent in someone's car, the consequences can be far greater - and more strange - than you expect.
MY NAME IS MISTER GRIEF: what if you could get rid of your pain immediately? What price would you be prepared to pay?
HOLD ON UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BREAK: a hangover, a forgotten night out, old men screaming in the street, and a mystery with a terrible, terrible answer ...
THE MAN ON TABLE TEN: he has a story to tell you. One that he has kept secret for decades. But now, the man on table ten can take no more, and the knowledge - as well as the burden - is now yours.
EXCLUSIVE story, THE CRASH: if you put a dent in someone's car, the consequences can be far greater - and more strange - than you expect.
May 17, 2016
Podcast - Episode 2 - Now Available
Episode 2 is out now! And even better, we are now on iTunes, Soundcloud, and the Stitcher podcast app so no matter what your phone can pick our bullshit up.
This week its Drones and Motorhomes, and a surprising amount of social groups get offered free 'relaxation' by the boys. Enjoy, and don't forget to subscribe (to make sure you never miss an episode) and vote!
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/are-you-su...…
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=89450&a...
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
Remember to vote on the Smitherd and Shaw Facebook page!
This week its Drones and Motorhomes, and a surprising amount of social groups get offered free 'relaxation' by the boys. Enjoy, and don't forget to subscribe (to make sure you never miss an episode) and vote!
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/are-you-su...…
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=89450&a...
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
Remember to vote on the Smitherd and Shaw Facebook page!
