Luke Smitherd's Blog, page 4
July 6, 2016
A Major Competition and a New Audiobook!
Yes, the above audiobook is on its way very soon, as in hopefully-in-about-six-weeks soon. But you know what? That’s not the main reason I’m talking about this today.
Here’s the main reason: how would you like to get a book from me that is the only one of its kind in the world?
Once the novel I’ve been writing in parts for my Patreon subscribers – Kill Someone. Anyone – is finished, I’ll be preparing it for publication for the masses, and I want as many people as possible to know about it. So I had an idea for achieving that, and offering you guys a very unique prize for helping me do so.
Firstly, let me tell you what you can win.
Not only signed paperback copies of every single one of my paperback books – The Physics of the Dead, In The Darkness That’s Were I’ll Know You, A Head Full Of Knives, Weird. Dark., an upcoming secret novel (but more on that in a future email) and of course Caementum himself – but … the first ever print copy of Kill Someone. Anyone, signed by my good self.
And you know what? That’s not even the main bit.
The rest of the Tales of the Unusual series – Do Anything (Closure and Your Name Is In The Book) He Waits (He Waits and Keep Your Children Close) and the mailing list signup story The Jesus Loophole are going to be released as a collected audio book (that you see at the top of this email) called, unsurprisingly, Tales of the Unusual.
While it will be getting audiobook release very soon, it will never be available to the public in print form.
There will, however, be ONE print copy that exists in the world …and it’ll be the winner of this competition that gets it. Signed too, of course.
So that’s all of my print novels (including the two upcoming, as-yet unreleased ones) printed and signed, including the first ever print copy of KSA (signed) and a print copy of Tales of the Unusual that no one else will ever own, also signed. Sound good? I hope so, it’s gonna cost me a fortune to post. So …how do you win it? I’ll tell you.
I want to get more people onto my mailing list, and I want you to help me.
So I thought about what I could offer that would be really unique and special as a prize for doing so, and I came up with this.
Ok. Think about people you know who a: are readers, and b: who you think would like my stuff. Picturing them right now? Got ’em? Good. Then, if you want to have a go at winning this, what you do is forward them the below link, which contains the usual mailing list signup form with a very important addition: a box where they can add the name of the person who referred them. That way, I know who the signup came from.
The person who gets the most signups/completed referrals wins the bundle mentioned above!
Second and third place runners-up get a signed copy of Kill Someone. Anyone!
It’s that simple. A few important things to remember here:
1. Don’t just send an email to everyone in your address book. They won’t like it, and it’ll just create signups of people who have no interest in books anyway. Really think about who might actually want a free story at least (as all mailing list signups get The Jesus Loophole upon signup now).
2. Add a message to your email explaining why you’re doing it – as they’ll be more likely to help you – and tell them that, of course, they get a free story for signing up. “Hey, if you signup to this mailing list which hardly ever emails, you’d be helping me out and you’d be getting a free story from this writer I think you’ll like for your trouble.” That kind of thing.
You may be wondering why I’m going to this trouble. Well, it’s because I have these new novels/audiobooks on the way and I want to really give them the best possible shot. More to come on those very soon …
So, if you want a chance of winning, here’s the link to forward to your reader friends (that’s your reader friends!) Closing date for the competition (and your chance to win a pretty nice bundle including a book that no one else will ever own!) is July 26th. Good luck!
Here’s the specific mailing list sign-up link to copy and forward (although add an explanation or they’ll just wonder what the heck it is):
http://eepurl.com/C4vED
The post A Major Competition and a New Audiobook! appeared first on Luke Smitherd.com.
July 4, 2016
Weird. Dark. - Free on Amazon Until July 8
Links:
US: http://amzn.to/29eIvJT
UK: http://amzn.to/29JJWgm
Description
From the bestselling author of THE STONE MAN comes a new collection of thought-provoking urban science fiction...
Praise for WEIRD. DARK.:
"For me there is no greater joy than seeing an artist excel at his craft. WEIRD and DARK, yes, but more importantly ...exciting and imaginative. Whether you've read his novels and are already a fan or these stories are your first introduction to Smitherd's work, you'll be blown away by the abundance of ideas." - Ain't It Cool News.com
Luke Smitherd is bringing his unique brand of strange storytelling once again, delivered here in an omnibus edition that collects four of his weirdest and darkest tales:
MY NAME IS MISTER GRIEF: what if you could get rid of your pain immediately? What price would you be prepared to pay?
HOLD ON UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BREAK: a hangover, a forgotten night out, old men screaming in the street, and a mystery with a terrible, terrible answer ...
THE MAN ON TABLE TEN: he has a story to tell you. One that he has kept secret for decades. But now, the man on table ten can take no more, and the knowledge - as well as the burden - is now yours.
EXCLUSIVE story, THE CRASH: if you put a dent in someone's car, the consequences can be far greater - and more strange - than you expect
Cool New Feature from Audible
Cool, huh?
Share what speaks to you.
http://adbl.co/29eqxmQ
June 30, 2016
Smitherd & Shaw Podcast - Are You Sure? - Episode 5 - Now Available
Are You Sure? with Smitherd and Shaw goes SEXY this week! (Sexier.) The boys ask Are You Sure? about Burlesque and Speed Dating, and Matt levels some horrendous and unfounded accusations at Luke for his alleged attempts to reverse last week’s coin toss. Matt tells all about hanging out with Flash Gordon himself, and Luke spills the beans on his own adventures in Speed Dating. Plus an inspired invention for this week’s edition of It’ll Never Work, as well a one-off special segment called Theme Restaurant or B——s.
SoundCloud: http://bit.ly/299wXac
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/29jWEmR
iTunes: http://bit.ly/298ZTNG
Subscribe to a channel (or all of them) and leave a nice rating (sound familiar?). We love to read your comments, too.
The Man on Table Ten - Free on Amazon until July 3
UK: http://amzn.to/294nBZ3
It's a story that he hasn't told anyone for fifty years. A secret that he's kept ever since he grew tired of the disbelieving faces and doctors' reports advising medication. He's been careful. He hasn't even touched a single drop of booze since that one, fateful evening.
This is why his decision on this day - the decision to have three drinks - will change the life of bright young waitress Lisa Willoughby forever. For today,The Man On Table Ten has decided that he wants to share his incredible tale.
Lisa's been around old drunks before. She's heard her fair share of unlikely urban legends and creepy stories; tall bar room tales of science fiction that made her roll her eyes while wearing a plastered-on smile. But today is different. The Man on Table Ten is different. True, this mysterious stranger's story of psychic abilities and supernatural creatures is straight out of the Twilight Zone ... but there is something about his impossibly blue eyes that Lisa just cannot ignore.
When he is finished, she will have to worry. Once the tale is told, and she knows the unbelievable burden that The Man On Table Ten has had to carry throughout the years. When she knows of his incredible sacrifice and the mysterious reason for his strange quality of life. When she knows the truth, and is left powerless to do anything except watch for the signs ...
All of that will come later. For now, The Man On Table Ten is talking; pull up a chair. After all, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you did, would it?
An unusual supernatural thriller, exclusively for the Kindle, THE MAN ON TABLE TEN - A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE FICTION TALE is another release in the range of metaphysical kindle books from Luke Smitherd, the author of the Amazon number one bestseller THE STONE MAN. Original and compelling, the mysterious stranger's paranormal tale will leave you breathless and listening carefully, wondering if that sound you can hear might just be 'pouring sand that grows louder with every second ... '
June 24, 2016
He Waits - Free on Amazon until June 28
http://amzn.to/28UZOhR
UK:
http://amzn.to/28R5yKk
A Book of Strange and Disturbing Horror
Quite literally, no escape. Because he's always with you. And in the real world -the world of you, the reader - HE WAITS will stay in your mind in a way that you won't expect ...
A campsite. A family holiday. A broken down car. And an approaching breakdown truck that is just the start of Shelley's nightmare. By the time the sun sets, someone in that field will be dead, and Shelley must somehow make sure it isn't one of her children ... KEEP YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE is a story that you will find impossible to predict.
Praise for HE WAITS:
"In the horror genre, familiarity absolutely does breed contempt, and Smitherd obviously knows this. Why else would he be so talented at expertly crafting stories that defy expectations? For me there is no greater joy than seeing an artist excel at his craft." - Aintitcoolnews.com
June 21, 2016
A Head Full of Knives - Free until June 23
http://amzn.to/28N6QWD
Let's imagine you're waiting to catch a train.
Would you wonder about the people standing next to you on the platform? Ordinary people, business types. Respectable. Normal. People that you don't need to worry about.
How would you know that they aren't going to suddenly push you in front of an oncoming train?
But hey ...they're strangers. They could be capable of anything ...but what if you couldn't even trust the people you loved?
What if even your pets acted strangely? If you found yourself being watched by other animals that come and wait outside your house at night, staring up at your windows in the dark?
Martin Hogan doesn't have to imagine this. It's all happening to him right now; his life is about to spiral further and further into the terrifying and inexplicable as he finds out why.
Because even though he doesn't know it yet, Martin Hogan is the man that has to decide the fate of humanity ...
June 14, 2016
Smitherd & Shaw Podcast - Are You Sure? - Episode 4 - Now Available
#4 is up: We finally find out how many listeners we have!
We’ve made it to episode 4 of the podcast that is apparently 'for the more discerning idiot’, featuring The Edition Of Transatlantic Swearing That Luke Tried To Ban; it’s here folks, the worst swearword possible …and it’s NOT the C-Bomb.
This week, Matt buys a dog and tries a little Are You Sure? ju-jitsu, while Luke tells of his adventures in a Hooters restaurant and a Chinese Massage parlour.
Are You Sure? this week looks at Reaction Videos and Virtual Reality, the latter of which descends into a discussion about the colossal implications of a world where Sex Machines actually exist.
Plus It’ll Never Work featuring a listener suggestion for a more advanced toilet, a subject perfect for the world’s foremost 50 percent grudgingly toilet humour podcast.
Subscribe to get each fortnightly episode sent directly to your device as they are released!
June 1, 2016
Podcast - Episode 3 - Smitherd & Shaw - Are You Sure? Now Available
If you haven't listened yet and fancy laughing very, very little, check it out, if only to get your hands on the FREE AUDIOBOOKS we're giving away this week.
In this episode we ask Are You Sure? about vaping and cosplay, as well as the usual features including Transatlantic Swearing and some very awkward conversation lycra.
Give us a download and try it out on your way to work or while having a shit.
https://soundcloud.com/user-288453827
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/a...
