Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 75

Just a few more days

I woke up today feeling pretty "crappy" (I've had major stomach issues the last few days), so after the boys got up and ate breakfast, I laid down and took another two hour nap.  I was quite discouraged by 10 a.m. that I hadn't heard from my lawyer, so add that to my nerves......David woke me up at 12:30 to make lunch, and I told him to wait until 1:00.  Fifteen minutes later the lawyer called and said, "Come now."  I jumped out of bed, brushed my hair, grabbed the boys, and we headed out.  We met the lawyer a little before 2:00, signed the adoption decree (it's final!!!!), and made a bunch of plans for tomorrow to start getting Juan David's name changed on all of his main documents (birth certificate, ID card, etc.)  If we can get the things accomplished that he hopes to tomorrow and Monday, we may be able to go to the U.S. Embassy by Tuesday, getting us home by Wednesday at the earliest.  The next few days are going to be tricky--hope these stomach issues will go away so I can function at 100%.

I'm just thankful that David will most likely be making it back for church camp by next Friday.  God has been looking out for him, keeping him from missing out on several big events of his life throughout all of this.

Ok, it's been fun, but......

   Our friend took us to a "fitness club" here in Bogota so the boys could go swimming.  David finally had enough of his strength back to thoroughly enjoy himself.    This was David on his last morning before coming back to Bogota.  He sure does love those animals.  Here he was feeding them pomegranites that he picked from the tree right beside the parrot cage.  David chose the human hamster ball while everyone else in the group chose the boats.  Julian is in the first boat, and Juan David is in the green boat.  
 David with another furry friend he made.  A better, close-up pic of the historical monument in Boyaca  Changua--a very interesting typical breakfast that Juan David absolutely loves.  One of our typical morning breakfasts at the bakery.  We all leave full for less than $8 total.  The bakery has the same name as the church we've been going to!  We are more than happy to support a Christian owned business, especially one that advertises the name of Christ.  Juan David's first trip to McDonalds.  We told him that with a McDonalds just down the street from our house in Texas, we tend to go there quite a bit for ice cream. Slip n' Slide at the Christian school on their last day of summer school.  Neither one of them wanted to stop playing in the water that day.
This week has been another one of those waiting weeks.  Our friend took us swimming, had us over for lunch and then later we had Juan David's Embassy medical appointment on Tuesday.  We got there, and no one had any record of our appointment.  My friend who took us talked to all of the doctors and found out that the "appointment" we had wasn't even with the right doctor because that doctor only sees kids 13 and under.  So the right doctor agreed to see him, and we got everything taken care of.  Juan David passed for a healthy adolescent, and he had to get several shots.  The orphanage lost all of his shot records, so we had to start him all over, plus we've got to get the second shot of several of them once we get home before school starts.  
Wednesday morning I called my lawyer, and he said the sentencia (adoption decree) was ready, that he was just waiting on the seal from the judge.  He expected to be able to call me later to meet him to sign it, but alas, that didn't happen.  I called him last night, and he said he's still waiting on the judge.  He gave me the address to meet him and told me what to have with me at all times so that if he calls me at any moment of the day, we will be able to meet up with him to sign it.  Then he'll go with us to get the remaining items (new birth certificate, ID card, passport, and visa--all this can take a few days) so Juan David can successfully enter the United States.  Yesterday morning he seemed hopeful to finish things up this week.  Now it looks like we're into next week since the sentencia wasn't ready yesterday.  Our apartment is only available until Monday, so we are packing things up to at least leave this apartment on Monday.  Our friend has graciously offered to let us stay with her family for our remaining days until we leave so we don't have to stay in a hotel.  What a heart of gold.  God has his hand on us.
We've experienced a lot, we've had a lot of fun (some days), but......
I'm so ready to go home. 
 We all are. Managing expenses with Mike there and us here has gotten quite complicated (especially when he's had to fix my car twice now--first the brakes, now the starter).  Managing as a single mom with a little boy who misses his Daddy incredibly has been difficult. There have been many tearful phone calls. Laying down the law and parenting a teenager without my husband beside me (the father that this child has always needed) has been trying.  I'm spread thin.  Traveling without Mike is one thing.  I love to travel.  Adopting an adolescent child while traveling without Mike is another.  It's not something that I was ever meant to do without him.  We signed up for this together.  I miss him, and I need him by my side.  We need to be home....together.

Our not so fun adventure in the land of Paipa

 The first series of tests, trying to figure out what was going on with David  Sleeping comfortably in another room while being pumped with pain meds and electrolytes, under observation for possible apendicitis
Friday morning, David woke up feeling fine.  Suddenly he came to me in the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I don't feel so good."  I encouraged him to go lay down until we were ready to leave on our full day of adventures.  We had already paid quite a bit of money to rent a van for the day so all nine of us could travel through several towns in Boyaca together.  He'd had some stomach pains before that passed within an hour, so we figured he'd be okay if he slept in the van.  We wrapped him in a blanket, brought him a pillow, and brought along a very reluctant child.  Thirty minutes into the trip, he was crying into his pillow, thirty minutes or so later, he threw up in a bag and all over his new hat and on the floor.  We stopped to clean up (not so easy in a country where bathrooms, toilet paper, soap, and paper towels are not provided in very many places), and then he felt better.  About thirty minutes to an hour later, the pain came back and he was miserable.  We stopped in a little town called Paipa to get some broth for him to eat (and for everyone else to eat breakfast), but he finally broke down and couldn't go on.  I stood outside the restaurant and hugged him as we both cried together.  He had the option of being strong to continue on our journey or go to an emergency clinic down the street and spend the rest of the day there until our friends could come back and pick us up.  When he chose the clinic option, I knew it was bad.  That's when I broke down and started falling apart myself.

We checked in to the clinic, and I sent our friends on their way.  Juan David had to stay with me, so Julian stayed, too.  They stayed in the waiting room while the doctors checked David and began running tests.  Imagine how scared David was being poked with needles by people speaking to him in Spanish in a not so very sanitary place (bathrooms with no toilet paper offered nor soap to wash your hands).  He screamed and cried when they took the first blood sample.  Then when they started the IV to start pumping him with pain meds and electrolytes (he was severely dehydrated), he watched the color drain from his hands and cried, "I don't want to die today!"  I about fell apart. 

The blood sample and stool sample showed that he had a bacterial infection in his intestines, and they were concerned about him being so dehydrated.  The location of his pain mimicked symptoms of apendicitis, so the doctor decided to pump him with pain meds, nausea meds, and electrolytes while she kept him under observation.  If his pain did not go away, they would need to take another blood sample six hours after the first one to see if he improved at all.  If not, they would need to transfer him to a hospital to see a surgeon.  Mike kept calling about every hour to check on him (I had no way to contact him myself), while I just cried through every phone call.  I don't know that I've ever felt so alone, and I was scared to death.  No internet access.  My cell phone battery was going dead.  Our friends were several hours away from coming back. Julian and Juan David were not allowed to be back with me and David.  They snuck back several times, but the guard kept coming back and kicking them out, saying that only one person was allowed to be with the patient.  We were in the middle of nowhere, a good two hours away from our hotel, three hours away from our "home" in Bogota, over two thousand miles away from home and more sanitary hospital conditions.  We had nothing to eat or drink the entire day (putting myself in danger of dehydration with a body not accustomed to this altitude), and I felt terrible that Julian and Juan David were stuck in a tiny little waiting room all day long. The IV kept stopping and was not giving him medicine regulary or consistently, and it was a battle getting whatever nurse or doctor I could find to help me get it to function correctly.  I only had a few baby wipes left in my purse and a tiny bit of hand sanitizer left, so I had to use it all sparingly, not knowing how long we'd be there.  I just felt so icky and disgusted.  Julian snuck back in at the end of the day, and I just cried on his shoulder, telling him how badly I just wanted to go home. Once he realized how scared I was, he really stepped up and took care of me after that.  I knew Mike had contacted a ton of people to pray for David, but I found myself so incredibly angry with God for not only letting my little boy suffer so much, but also for putting us into such a hopeless situation so far away from anywhere that we might call home. 

David, on the other hand, was such a brave little trooper.  After the IV issues, he kept waking up and comforting me, telling me that God had a purpose for letting this happen and putting us in this situation.  He said, "The Lord has a purpose for everything that happens. There must be something good that's going to come out of this".  Wow.  I couldn't have been more proud of him.

By six o'clock, they finally got the results of the second blood test and urine sample.  His levels had improved greatly, mostly from the electrolytes they'd been pumping into him.  They were able to rule out apendicitis and release him with a treatment plan for a bacterial infection and dehydration.  Our friends had just gotten back (after a nine hour day), and I went to check out and pay.  Thankfully, the entire day and all the tests cost me less than $150 and the meds only cost about $6.  (He's taking four different medications a day now, plus he's on a very strict diet.)  We all piled in the van for our two hour ride back through the mountains.  The ladies who run the hotel (a Christian retreat center for church groups) made us some soup, rice, meat, and vegetables when we got back.  Everyone headed to bed because we were exhausted, though I had to tend to David for quite a while to get him to eat something so he could start his meds. 

Perhaps the purpose was to force us to go to a clinic because of his severe dehydration (despite the fact that we carry his water bottle with purified water everywhere we go) and because these bacterial infections are not easy to diagnose or treat in the United States.

The next morning, I got up early and walked down to the courtyard to have some quiet time with God.  I pray a prayer for my boys every day out of the book The Power of a Praying Parent, and I turned back to the prayer I had prayed for them the day before.  This was the end of the very prayer I prayed for David just a day earlier:

"I pray that he will have faith strong enough to lift him above his circumstances and limitations and instill in him the confidence of knowing that everything will work together for good."

I thought back to David's comforting words to me in that little hospital room, and I realized that God had answered my prayer.  I was the one falling apart, and David's faith stood the test, just as I had prayed for him. 

Anyone else have goosebumps?

Adventures in Boyaca (continued)

 Julian, hot and tired after a long morning looking at dinosaurs out in the heat Shopping in Raquira


Villa de Leyva  The "hotel" we stayed at in Sachica (a retreat center for churches run by the sweetest Christian ladies)  An hour wait to go horseback riding
 David on his horse, Diablo, with Juan David close behind on his horse, Caracol.  I stayed in the lead with my horse, Amadeo, until the very end, when Caracol (Snail) took the lead.  Very ironic.  Our view of Villa de Leyva from where the horses took us on our hour ride  Julian and MariAntonia very pleased with their ride  Pozos azules--beautiful blue water in a man-made pond in the middle of nowhere  All three boys in age order
 All three boys in order of courage level  Love those Colombian smiles (LOL--getting them to smile for a posed picture is like pulling teeth)

Adventures in Boyaca

I've heard many times that we needed to visit Boyaca while here, so we finally had that chance.  What an adventure we had over the last five days, though unfortunately, one of those days seemed to last an eternity.  Let's just say I'm so thankful to be back in Bogota, but truly, I am aching to be home.  Every day that Mike calls me, I find myself breaking into tears, telling him how much we just want to go home.  We thoroughly enjoyed exploring several little towns in Boyaca, the main one being Villa de Leyva, seeing what they say are the most beautiful landscapes to be found in Colombia, and visiting a few historical places, but Friday was our breaking point when David got so sick that we had to spend nine hours in a little urgent care clinic in a tiny little town to find out what was wrong with him.  Those nine hours were the scariest, loneliest nine hours I've ever had here, and now we want more than anything to be home so we can nurse him back to health and help him regain his strength where he is most comfortable and not missing his Daddy so much.  However, besides Friday, we did enjoy our trip, the bonding experience with our friends, and the opportunity to have both Juan David and Julian together for the whole time.  We took about a zillion pictures, so I'll sift through them over the next few days and write about some of our experiences. 

Homesick

David and I have been here for three weeks now, and I am officially homesick.  It hit me pretty hard this weekend, and I find myself spilling tears quite easily.  I miss Mike.  I miss home.  I miss my kitchen (did I really just say that?).  I miss my coffee maker.  I miss English.  I miss my car.  I miss using U.S. currency and a debit card (mine will only work at an ATM, not for purchases).  I'm tired of keeping track of so much cash for so many different things, especially in a different currency.  I miss my TV that only has a few channels to choose from.  All the channels available here just cause problems.  I miss Mike.  (I already said that, didn't I?).  I think the only things I don't find myself missing are the Texas heat and being awoken at 4 a.m. by my dogs.  I know how badly I wanted to be here, but now that we have Juan David, we're all just ready to be home.

Our upcoming little trip this week has actually caused me quite a bit of stress--over the timing, the finances involved, and just the planning part of it all (which I haven't really been a part of--we're just going along with what our friends have planned).  It made me wonder if we were even supposed to go, yet I knew I would always regret it if we didn't.  Then it hit me just a little bit ago that it is our gift to Juan David and Julian to be able to spend a week of vacation together.  If we were not going, Julian would not have taken off work, and we might only have been able to see him one or two more times before leaving.  I believe very strongly in the bond they have as brothers, and I don't ever want them to lose it.  I hope it will be a memorable time for them, as well as for me and David.

Progress

I'm not even going to try to pretend that I understand all the steps involved in  finalizing the adoption here.  I just listen to my lawyer and go with whatever he says and do whatever he tells me to do.  However, he seems to be pretty content with how things are going, and it seems to me that everything is progressing very well.  I'm thankful for how things have gone up until this point.  I've read blogs and heard horror stories about bad translators (I haven't had one to deal with), drivers making way more stops than needed (haven't used one), and lots of wasted time and money having to go through a representative in order to communicate with the attorney (not the case in our situation).  I couldn't be more pleased with the direct communication I have with our attorney, who is constantly telling me to give him a call for absolutely anything I might need or be curious about.  It sure makes this process a lot less complicated (which I'm sure would be a different story if I didn't speak Spanish).

We are leaving on Monday to go to Villa de Leyva (a well-known place outside of Bogota) for a week of vacation with some friends.  (It's another place on our Monopoly board, so we're excited to visit!) Our attorney told us it would be fine for us to travel that week, but when I confirmed the dates with him, he told me that it just meant we may have to push some things into the following week that we could have gotten done next week.  However, he wants us to enjoy Colombia, so he made a few phonecalls to work around this little travel opportunity.  We are hoping that Julian will be able to spend the week with us, as well.  As quickly as time is passing (yes, it really does feel like it!), I want them to have as much time together as possible.

Anyway, the attorney told me yesterday that I needed to take Juan David to get a chest x-ray and blood work today for his U.S. Embassy exam.  Our appointment for his exam is on July 9th, right after we come back, but the results of today's procedures will be sent straight to the doctor that he's going to see.  He said that by going today, it will save us a lot of time when we get back because we won't have to wait on the results.  He also told me that he'd presented our paperwork to the court and hoped that we'd get a good judge.  Today he called to say that the judge approved everything.  :)  Now he said it goes before a legal advocate for the family (defensora de familia), and as long as it goes well with her, we may have sentencia (when we sign the adoption decree) the week we get back. That usually signals the beginning of the last week, as much as I understand it, anyway.  Like I said, I'm not pretending to get it.  I just do what I'm told and trust the person telling me to do it.

Being a single parent for the last few days, especially in this situation, has been quite a challenge for me at times.  I don't mind staying in Colombia, but I miss the support of a second parent and the break that a second parent provides.  I miss Mike, so, yes, I am anxious to get these boys home.  I'm really looking forward to our vacation, though, so I don't have to feel all alone with these two boys.  Our friends are bilingual, so that will be a good break for David to hear more English again.  They are also an amazing Christian couple, so that will be good for Juan David to observe and be around.  I sure do hope it works out for Julian to join us, as well. 

Tomorrow we're headed to El Camino Academy to celebrate the last day of summer school and to talk last minute logistics of our trip with our friend.  I'm excited to see some of my kids from last year to see how they have grown and progressed in their English. :) 

Two things I've learned

I'm constantly observing my new son, learning more and more about him on a daily basis.  We talk a lot about our first attempt to adopt him and the relationship we built with him during that time.  I'm amazed at how vividly he still remembers details of most of our conversations.  That has definitely helped us to bond very quickly.  He accepted us as his family immediately and began calling us Mom and Dad very naturally from day one.

Two main things that I have learned about him so far are these:


He likes to eat.  A lot.  He will not leave a crumb on his plate, nor does he like to see anyone leave a crumb on their plate, either.  He's quite healthy, though, and he gets so excited whenever it's time to eat fruit.  (We eat fruit with breakfast, have natural fruit juice at lunch, and have a designated time for fruit in the late afternoon.  Then after dinner, if we don't have anything for dessert, he asks for fruit again).  I think he's going to go into shock when he gets to the States and cannot find many of his favorite fruits, like pitaya, guanabana, fejoa, granadilla, etc. However, he's not picky in any sense, so I know he'll find new favorites quickly.He loves his brother (Julian) and has quite a bit of respect for him.  Though they hadn't seen each other in nearly a year (since last year when we had them both together), their bond has not changed a bit.  He gets so excited when he hears that we might see his brother.  Last night we played a little conversational game, and he had to answer the question: Who is someone that has had a lot of influence in your life?  It didn't take him long to answer, "Julian".  He said his brother has helped him with so many things in his life.  He doesn't even know yet just how instrumental his brother was in this second attempt to adopt him.  I'm so thankful to know and love Julian like we do so they don't have to ever feel like they need to let go of one another.  It saddens me that here they've been living in the same city for the last year and a half with absolutely no contact with one another.  Even though we're taking him somewhere 2500 miles away, we made it clear that his brother will always be a part of his life.

Moving along

I'd say we just had a full weekend, starting at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning.  We all got up and dressed quickly for our last family picture before Mike left.  Here we all are crowding together out on the balcony to take a quick picture.

              Mike's flight took off at 9:30, so we all piled into a taxi at 6 a.m. to accompany him to the airport.  David decided to stay for the remainder of the process, so I knew this moment was going to be extremely hard on him.  David loves his Daddy and is very close to him.  Sure enough, while Mike waited in line to check in his bag, the tears began.  David just buried his little head into Mike's chest and cried his little heart out.  
To try to make it a little easier, we found our favorite restaurant at the airport and sat down to a nice breakfast all together.  Once we got David happy with his chocolate chip waffles, Mike gave us all hugs and said goodbye.  I stayed in the restaurant with the two boys for the remainder of our tearless breakfast.




Then we went home and sat on the balcony of our apartment to watch his plane take off.  He texted us to let us know when they were about to take off, and then we snapped a picture of his plane once it was in the air.

We rested and played lazy the rest of the day, other than a trip to the grocery store to restock for the next week.
Our dear friend, Mercedes, invited us to her church on Sunday and then for lunch at her house afterwards.  So we attended the Baptist Church where we miraculously met her last year.  Nothing flashy or attractive about the building on the outside, but what an amazing church body exists on the inside.  The pastor spoke so clearly and with such depth--I could have listened to him for hours.  I looked around and saw tons of people taking notes and really soaking up the teaching.  After church, the boys played outside while we waited for her to attend choir practice, and then we walked to her house.  Julian joined us for lunch, too.  We have not seen him much yet, and I sure have missed him.  

The church

Waiting outside after church 

Lunch

My boys

(You can tell who the jokester is already....)
Later we visited Julian at his job and took some more pictures that I promised him I would not publish.  We finally said goodbye to Mercedes, and Juan David told her he'd be waiting for another invitation. :)  She told him he always has an open door in her home for the rest of her life.  She truly mothered him as a small child, and he will never forget her.  I'm so thankful to not only know her, but to have such a priceless bond with her in Christ.  
I miss Mike and feel a bit out of sorts without him.  However, I'm thankful for having such great Christian friends here who are looking out for us in his absence.  

Flexibility

After yesterday's integration meeting, I asked our lawyer one last question.  "When can my husband leave to go back to work?"  He told me that there was still one more paper to sign before he could go.  He said he'd send it to me via e-mail, we'd need to print it and get it notarized.  It's a paper that gives me permission to take Juan David out of the country (home) without Mike being with us.  Basically, without that document, Mike can't leave.

So, our plan today was this:

Get up, eat breakfast, walk a few blocks to the internet cafe to print off the document.Take a taxi to the notary building (we just went there on Tuesday to sign our power of attorney for the lawyer)Walk a few blocks to a location where we could grab a bus to the school so we could call the U.S. at no charge to change Mike's flightSee Julian on his side of town before he went to work at one o clockHead back for a late lunch at homeRest while Mike packed to go home tomorrowHere was what our day actually looked like:Mike and I got up and had coffee out on the balcony togetherMike made a great breakfast while I set up an account on rebtel.com so Mike can call us frequently while we're apart for the next few weeks.Our lawyer called to say just how important it was that this document be absolutely perfect, so he asked that we please take a picture of it for him to verify before we got it notarizedJuan David and I walked to the internet cafe to print off several copies of the document in case we made any mistakes (white-out is not acceptable--one mistake and it has to be redone completely)I fill out both papers, and then we have issues getting the picture sent.  Finally, it sends.Our lawyer calls me to say that I messed up one of the passport #'s.  On the fourth try, I finally have one with no mistakes.  Sent the picture of it again, call the attorney, and he says it looks good.We grabbed a taxi to the closest notary and wait in line.The man at the front tells me I need Juan David's birth certificate or he is not authorized to notarize it.  However, Juan David's birth certificate with his new name does not exist yet.  Nor does his passport. They send me to another line to talk to someone else.  He insists that he can't notarize it, but he sends me upstairs to talk to someone else.  She is empathetic and helpful, but she still insists that she can't notarize it.  We have nothing to prove that Juan David Alspaugh exists (because technically, he doesn't yet).  I offer to call my lawyer so they can talk to him, but she acts like she'll work with us.She calls another man over, he remembers us getting the power of attorney notarized just a few days ago, so he authorizes for it to be notarized.  They send me back downstairs to wait in line all over again.  I get to the front of the line, and the guy still won't notarize it.  He sends me to talk to another lady.  She flat out refuses.  How can she prove that the child in our custody is the same child as the one with the new last name on the document.  I pull out our temporary custody paper that we signed the very first day we got Juan David, proving to her that this child is in an adoption process and will take on our last name when the the court process is finished.Another guy sitting at a desk nearby is watching the whole thing (he remembered us from a few days ago, as well).  He interrupts, tells her that the guy upstairs already authorized it, and tells us to come with him.  He finally notarizes the document for us.  It's far too late to get to the school or to see Julian, so we grab a taxi back home.I call the lawyer and tell him they gave us a ton of problems, but that it finally got notarized.  He tells me to guard the document like a treasure and says that Mike is free to leave the country now. Our friend from the school suggests that we find a local place to make international calls, so we head right back to the internet cafe to call the airline.  There are no walls in the front of these little places, so it's super loud with everyone talking inside or just from the traffic outside.  Thankfully Mike has better hearing over the phone than I do.  He waits on hold for a long time while waiting to talk to the right person, but he finally gets his flight changed after probably 20-30 minutes on the phone.  We print off his itinerary while we're there, and then we decide to look for a local pizza place.  We are all absolutely famished.We look across the street to find something, turn around, and find that we're standing right in front of Dominoes Pizza.  We enjoyed a really nice meal together as a family, which helped relieve all the many stresses from the day. We walk home and veg for the rest of the day while Mike packs to go home.All's well that ends well. :)