Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 61

Good news!

I received an e-mail this week stating that my newest version of my first book, now titled Surviving the Valley, has been assigned to an editor. They will send me the edits, along with a contract, within the next six weeks. While I am working with those edits, they will start working with the second book. I am so excited to begin working with ABH Publishing!

Flashbacks

Every once in awhile, I will get a sudden flashback that can completely warm my heart. Today I remembered sitting out on the sidewalk in front of my church on a Wednesday evening many years ago. I had permission to call Juan David on Wednesday evenings around 7:30, so I would step out of my weekly Bible study to sit outside and talk to him for about 15 to 30 minutes. We'd just sent all of our dossier (adoption paperwork) to Colombia, so I confidently assumed we'd be completing the adoption very shortly after that (based on other people's stories who had recently adopted a KidSave child.

I still remember that fateful phone conversation, one that I wished so bad I would have bitten my tongue. Juan David knew all along about our intent to adopt him, so I told him I didn't think it would be much longer. Ugh. Can I plead absolute ignorance on my part? Pure naivety? Over-confidence?

That very month, Colombia denied our petition to adopt him. We never got to complete that adoption of the eleven-year-old boy I so dearly loved. I never got to fulfill that promise, "it shouldn't be much longer now." I carried incredible guilt over that phone call for quite a long time.

Tonight that conversation out on the sidewalk came flashing back into my memory when I dropped Juan David off at church for a high school youth activity and watched him walk across that very sidewalk before walking in the doors with a huge smile on his face, eager to spend the evening with his friends, oblivious to the memory suddenly coming back to me.

A miracle.

Author update

As much as I want to keep this blog updated at least once or twice a week, I struggle to find enough uninterrupted time to actually sit down and write. It's amazing how adding one extra person to the family can totally throw you off kilter. But that's okay. We waited a long time for him, so he's worth these sacrifices of time right now.

I know a lot of you are awaiting my second book, wanting to know just how our son ever did make it back to us after my first book ended with him in the presence of another family.  Don't worry.  I assure you it is coming, in due time. It's filled with just as much poetry as the first one, if not more, and will put you right in the moment with us as we traveled the long road back to him. If you cried through the first book (as most of you told me you did), you will get frustrated and angry through the second one and will feel completely exhausted by the last page (as a test reader shared these thoughts with me). You will understand the complications of international adoption like you never have before, you will hear the orphan's voice, and you will see God's hand guiding every step of our journey. I originally planned to publish it myself through Create Space and have it out by the summer, but God completely redirected me in a way I never imagined (as usual).

I attended a one day writing seminar in April to learn more about self-publishing. I almost didn't make it due to having a zillion things on my calendar that month, but I finally registered the night before and showed up exhausted the next day. A friend from my writer's group sat down at my table, along with her husband, just as God had planned. I left that day with lots of information about self-publishing through Create Space, but I also left with the new knowledge that my friend and her husband were about to start their own publishing company with the purpose of publishing books for ministry. Was this a divine appointment?

I let another month go by, and then she and I connected again at our monthly writer's group meeting. She took a copy of my first book home to read from a publisher's perspective. I've grown so much as a writer in the last few years since joining a writer's group, and I really wanted to apply all I've learned not only to my second book, but to my first book, as well. She encouraged me to rewrite and re-title the first book so I can sell them both as a pair. This, of course, set off my original plan to have the second book out by the summer, but I take much more pride in both manuscripts now. More voice. More active verbs. Shorter paragraphs. Shorter sentences. Very little passive voice. Crisp, clean writing.

I also went back and changed all the names that I had permission to change. Julian and Juan David, specifically.  (Although their sister's name is still replaced with another name.) My author name will be my full name--Rachelle D. Alspaugh.

My friend's publishing company launched earlier this month, https://www.facebook.com/AuthentictyBookHouse, and I turned both my manuscripts over to her two days later. I don't have any idea regarding a timeline for publishing the books, but that's perfectly okay with me. They are God's books. They are His story. They are on His timeline. They consumed my summer (and my life for the last six years), and I am glad to have them off my hands for the time-being. I am looking to build a launch team for them in the near future. If you are interested in being part of that launch team, please e-mail me at ralspaug@gmail.com for more details.

Now I am taking a different direction with my writing. I am focusing only on poetry and short stories that I can take to my monthly writer's group for critique and later share with friends or in my Bible studies. I want my writing to continue to improve so I can look into more writing opportunities after my boys are no longer at home with us. I hope to build a collection of short stories documenting God's hand on our lives in a variety of ways over the years, stories that I will eventually bind together for David. He is my biggest fan as a writer, and I love how each story draws his complete attention when I read to him. I've written so much about Juan David and Julian (and their sister). Now I want to write with David in mind.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned as I continue this writing journey and as we continue our journey through adoption and beyond.

Off to a good start

We went to an event called Meet the Teacher at Juan David's new high school on Monday night. Honestly, we didn't know what to expect to hear from his teachers. We know that his teachers last year really enjoyed him, but they also said he would play around quite a bit. Plus he had so many Spanish-speaking friends, making him feel more than comfortable. They did all comment about him being a smart kid, though.

The comments from this year's teachers encouraged me. A lot.


"He participates in class and raises his hand to share quite a bit." (Not bad for his first year in a regular English high school)"He's a hard worker.""He's a very bright student. Have you considered putting him in Honor's classes? Not that I want to get rid of him, but considering how bright he is, I don't know that my class is really challenging him.""He's very respectful.""We love this kid.""I wish all students were like him.""Yes, he can get to talking, but if we point out that it's not the appropriate time, he settles down quickly and gets back to his task.""Very respectful." ( I know I already said that one, but we heard it at least twice.)Looks like he's off to a great start at his new school. I am really proud of him. The boy shows no fear and truly does embrace life with a smile on his face, no matter what.

Embracing His Blessings

Life cycles through seasons. Seasons of trial. Seasons of busyness. Seasons of bliss. Seasons of comfort. Seasons of pain. Right now, I feel like I'm in a season of blessing.

Sometimes blessings scare me. I wonder if the blessings are too good to be true, fearful that if I let myself enjoy them, they might slip away. Losing that camper made me feel justified in my fear, almost glad that I hadn't yet embraced it since God turned around and "took it away".

Yesterday God just blew me away, yet again.  Not only did the insurance give us almost double what we paid for our camper (instead of the mere $500 they originally said they could give us), but God led us to a sweet couple who sold us their camper for the exact amount the insurance gave us. It's 6 years newer. Way bigger. So much better in a multitude of ways. Not only does it have a couch and table to make into beds for the boys, but it also has an entire extra room on the back with four bunks. All the bedding included. The kitchen is fully stocked, too!

I absolutely love our new little house on wheels. Except it's not so little anymore. It feels like a dream, considering how little we paid for the first one, knowing that we pretty much got to upgrade to something we never imagined being able to afford, without having to spend another penny. Especially after we felt that all was lost.

In addition to the huge material blessing, I also just sent both my books on to a publisher today, a publisher who only publishes for ministry. Their goal: maximum Kingdom impact.  I couldn't be more blessed to be part of their mission.

God is good. I don't want to be guilty of not appreciating His blessings because I'm afraid of what might be around the corner.

I want to embrace this season of blessing, to embrace the joy that God is offering.

Embrace Life

I can't believe we've already been in school for a whole week!

To me, it was exhausting. No matter how "prepared" you are, the beginning is a challenge. Lots of training and practice to get your system in place.  I run my classroom on a very strict structure that takes a lot of work in the beginning but pays off incredibly in the end.  My morning class did quite well, actually, and are very pleasant to work with so far.  My afternoon class arrived in tears the first day and cried (no, screamed and wailed) for three hours straight.  Meaning, no teaching or establishing structure the first day.  The tears pretty much stopped by day two, but that group still brings a lot of drama!  Oh, my!

David came home the first day all stressed out because the school had messed up his schedule.  He had signed up for an advanced Spanish class and ended up in an Enriched Piano class.  After talking with the counselor, we realized he didn't get in to the Spanish class because it was too full.  If you know my son, you know a piano class has no appeal to him, so he ended up in P.E. instead.  He's happy now.

Juan David's schedule wasn't right either, even after three attempts over the summer to get it straight. His football coach is the one that is supposed to get it changed because he didn't get put into the Athletics class, but even after the first week, it's still not changed.  Sigh.  Other than that, Juan David had a good week.  He found his way around easily, and he understands the English in all of his classes--enough to call a teacher out on a mistake! (Respectfully, I hope.)  He also found several of his Vietnamese friends from his classes last year, so he is happy to share the same lunchtime with those friends.  He had football practice until six o'clock the first two nights, and a football game until almost eight on the third night, so the week felt exceptionally long to him.

We are all thankful to have a day off today.  Less than two months ago, we were enjoying ourselves so much on a camping trip that we had already mentally planned another trip for this weekend.  We sadly ditched that plan when the camper got totaled on the way home from that very trip. We could be wallowing in self-pity this weekend, still trying to figure out how to recoup some of the money we lost in the camper after the insurance said they could only give us $500 for our loss.  Instead, we are back in the market to replace it after the insurance decided to cover it, after all!  Mike had such an incredibly humble attitude regarding the whole thing, trusting that God had a plan.  I believe God is blessing him for that humble attitude.  He went above and beyond, giving us much more than expected, too.

I know one thing, I need to learn to embrace life and to embrace the gifts God gives us.  I need to stop worrying all the time about money, time, parenting, etc., and just learn to live.  When the camper is replaced, I want to enjoy every moment in it, accepting it as a true gift from God to our family. My boys are growing up, and I have very little time left with them, especially Juan David.  I want to enjoy every moment with them and accept the gifts that they are.  A full calendar doesn't mean we're running ourselves ragged.  It means we have a lot of opportunities to enjoy every aspect of life together, whether it be at a soccer game, a football game, a school event, a church event, or a family night out.

So, that's my "goal" for this school year. Embrace life and all the gifts it has to offer each and every day.

This is the day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

New beginnings again

Tomorrow we begin again, in so many ways.  It's another new year with many changes, though thankfully, not nearly as many changes to adjust to as last year.

No more adjusting to a new son, new big brother, new family. We are complete and have grown much closer as a family, especially over the summer.

No more adjusting to middle school life and school at an academy (for David). He's got the locker thing and switching class thing down. Now we just have to find a way to motivate the little guy a bit more than last year.  (He hinted that money speaks, so we'll see if the bribing will push him to put forth that A effort over the B effort he was content with last year. Hey, it worked for me, so we may have to give it a try.)

No more trying to figure out the mentality and ability level of a four year old. It was a huge shifting of gears for me, but I fell in love with my little munchkins. Knowing I got to be their first teacher really inspired me to find ways to inspire them.  My goal is to get them to love school and to love to learn. I'm armed and ready for the first week of school this year, which should make for an even more successful year than last year. I got to meet 40 of my new little ones on Thursday night, and most of them seemed ready and eager to finally be in school.

No more guessing as to how much more life costs with an extra person, specifically a teenager who eats a lot. I think I've got a budget finally figured out now after a year of trial and error.

No more constant translation at home.  Juan David speaks plenty of English and understands nearly everything. His grammar has quite a few gaps, but I figure those will fill in more quickly now that he'll be surrounded by English-speaking peers.

I've been blessed this summer by watching the boys bond by spending day after day together most of the summer.  I've also enjoyed watching the arrogance Juan David came to us with just melt over the last two months, as he finally let that little boy trapped inside of him come out to play. I will admit to living with a huge level of distrust when he first came home, mostly because I didn't have the chance to raise him and teach him. I just assumed the worst case scenarios. Yes, we struggled with a lot of things, but he's grown so much this year and really wants to be noticed for doing the right thing. We have had a year now to instill our family values in him, and he's had a year of consistently attending church, as well. He's a good kid who just needs constant guidance to make the right decisions. Having had a year to guide him and bond with him has really helped me to step back and trust him more.

The changes this year are mostly on him, Juan David. A brand new school, again. This time, he goes from a small setting of about 100 kids (mostly Spanish-speaking) to a high school of 2100 kids. He won't be with the same group of kids all day, plus he has never had to use a locker or switch classes all over the building multiple times a day. He will be expected to perform in English at a near equivalent level to his peers, and he will take all the same state testing as his peers. Lots of changes await him. The positives here are that he is courageous, he's not insecure, and he makes friends quickly and easily. He knows who he is and what his passions in life are.

In addition to school changes, he's part of the JV Football team.  Not only am I proud of him for sticking it out, but I really admire his courage to go out there and play a sport he's never played before and didn't even know anything about.  It's a culture he's never been a part of and doesn't really fit in to, but he let his coach know that he's there to learn. He wanted to quit after the first week of 5-6 hour daily practices, but he said, "I don't want to give up." The very next week, two coaches really started to notice his efforts and compliment him.  One of the coaches is the soccer coach, so hopefully this will open the door for him to slide right in to the high school soccer team as soon as the football season comes to an end.

I'm looking forward to the year ahead. Praying that we can get a grip on all of our athletic schedules so we can find a sense of routine at home very quickly.

Exciting conversation

Today's e-mail conversation with my friend who recently started a publishing company with her husband as a ministry:
How’s the book coming along?
Both books are done. I just need to add the footnotes. I wrote for hours on end throughout July, and I feel really good about both of them now. Much better writing. Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration.
Yay! I’m so excited for you! Let me know 
when you are ready to hand them over.
I agreed to be ready by September 6th. 
 I am ready to share the rest of our story. 
I felt like I drug my feet on this one, but I'm so glad I waited.  
God had greater things in store, as always.

Last minute thoughts (might be longer than normal)

I can hardly believe it.

Here I sit, typing away, on my very last morning of the summer I so desperately needed.

What else I can hardly believe is that I'm actually excited to step forward into tomorrow.  (Did I really just say that?) With a year of Pre-K under my belt, I'm filled with ideas and inspiration, knowing I get to watch kids grow by leaps and bounds over the next nine months.

I am also craving routine. The thing we love to let go of over the summer months so we can do all those things that don't fit into our school schedules. I like predictability, though, and I like to feel productive. Not having any sense of routine each day can so easily lead to laziness and idleness, meaning zero productivity.  A trait I have not liked watching develop in my boys this summer. 

Due to the extreme changes we've lived through the last few years, I held some pretty high expectations for this particular summer.  Did we reach those expectations? A few, yes. Many, no.

Did we enjoy family time? Yes. By camping, by having lunches together every day at home. By going to the gym together every day and enjoying the pool many evenings when all the kids got kicked out at sunset.

Did I bond more with my boys? Yes, by sending them each off to camp on their own, giving me one-on-one time with both of them. I will admit, though, that a part of me really missed the bonding that used to take place between David and I when it was just us.

Did I rest? Yes, to some extent. I tried sleeping in like most people do, but it actually made me feel worse.  When I slept in, (which my body doesn't do very naturally, anyway), I lost my precious morning time with God, along with routine. I also felt like I always needed a nap later in the day. When July came around, I got up between five and six again in the mornings so I could enjoy the long quiet mornings that I have always loved. Coffee and prayer time for awhile, then I focused on my writing for the next few hours until the boys got up. I realized that true rest comes when we are in God's presence, not necessarily with more sleep.

Did I accomplish my writing goals? No. I wanted to have my second book published by now. But I didn't have the inspiration to even work on it again until July. God held me off. I didn't have a peace about publishing it alone with a different publisher than my first book, but I knew I didn't want to use the first publisher again (nor could I afford to). God led me to a writer's conference where I connected with someone who had pulled their book from the same publisher, rewrote it, retitled it, and republished it with great success. They inspired me to do the same. I worked tirelessly throughout the month of July on both books, rewriting the first and heavily revising the second, making them fit together quite well as a pair. I take much more pride in both of them now. Plus I found a publisher to work with this fall, Lord-willing, that will also be translating them into Spanish!!!!  May our story speak loudly and cause many more to hear the voice of the orphan. That is my heart's desire.

Did I get healthy?  Well, I may have a long way to go, but I definitely got healthier. I am active daily and have energy to move. A summer membership to the gym did that for me. A year ago, my doctor noticed my cholesterol had gone way up (obviously, after a summer of eating unhealthy in Colombia). In December, I started having hormonal issues. In late winter, I struggled with my blood pressure. By the spring, I was diagnosed with PCOS after my doctor found my blood sugar levels elevated and my hormones unbalanced. I tried medication, but it made me worse.  I read a bunch of stories about Plexus, this natural pink drink that supposedly helps with these issues, so I gave it a try for two months (since there's a 60 day money back guarantee). I bought it from a friend who has used the money from her business to visit an orphanage in Vietnam every year because they are hoping to someday adopt a little girl they know there. The money went toward a good cause, so I justified the spending. :) Well, I went back to the doctor for my yearly blood work last week, and guess what? It worked! My blood pressure is great. My blood sugar levels are normal. My cholesterol is normal. My hormones are even balanced again. I also changed my eating habits quite a bit and now find myself craving fresh fruit and veggies more than ever.

Did we improve our home? Yes, and no. The boys' rooms underwent a makeover, so they look great. The carpet is gone, so the house smells and looks so much better. We ran out of money, time, and drive to finish everything, though, so we're waiting to get past all of the back-to-school and soccer expenses to spend any more money on the rest of the floors.  Honestly, between the camper getting smashed and then the AC leaking on the new floor in most of the hallway, we lost a lot of drive more than anything. (Mike fully accepted the camper's fate as something that God must have allowed for a purpose. I have struggled a lot more with the anxiety it caused in me, still praying my way through it every day.)

Did I reconnect with God? Yes. I crave my morning time with Him. My summer Bible study got me praying Scripture again, leading back to the intimate prayer life I had been missing. Not only did my own prayer life improve, but I watched other women develop their own. That, my friends, is awesome! 

Over all, it's been a good, fulfilling summer.  I have to daily accept that God allowed a few negative things happen in order to keep us dependent on Him rather than on ourselves or our own understanding. I trust they had purpose and still have purpose. We lost "stuff", and stuff can be replaced. So can money. I heard on the news just the other day about a family of four driving home from a family vacation, only to get hit head-on by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel, taking all four of their lives.  We may have come home from our family vacation with our newest "thing" all smashed up and destroyed with no insurance money to replace it, but at least we came home. All four of us. Together. For that, I'm grateful.

Now I'm off to wake up the boys and intentionally enjoy our last day of summer together. (They still have another seven days off, but, unfortunately, teachers don't.)

Let the chaos begin!

School hasn't even started yet, but we're already having to practice more flexibility to accommodate the boys' athletic schedules. Thankfully, David's team never took a break this summer.  They've continued with practices the same two evenings every week, and they played a game almost every weekend.  Juan David had the whole summer off, though, and kept himself in shape by working out at the gym.

His break officially ended on Monday. We noticed that his last school had not added Athletics to his schedule for this year, so we went to the high school to inquire about it a month ago.  They told me the computer system would be down for at least three weeks.  Exactly three weeks later, Juan David reminded me we needed to go back. The lady in the office sent me to the registrar, who sent me to the guidance counselor, who sent me to the football coach (since I hadn't heard back from the soccer coach). Juan David had expressed a desire to possibly play football in order to make the right connections and stay conditioned for high school soccer, but he didn't know much about the sport since they don't play football in his country.

We met the coach one day last week, and by that afternoon, Juan David had a locker assigned to him and all of his equipment stored in it.  He started practice on Monday of this week.  I'm now an official Football Mom, in addition to being a Soccer Mom.

My son is so brave, and I'm really proud of him.  He went to practice on Monday not knowing a soul, nor did he even know a thing about the game. This is his first year in a traditional high school, and he only knows a handful of kids that attend the same school. I asked if he was nervous about not knowing anybody, and he just said, "A little, but you know that I make friends easily."

I hoped we hadn't made a mistake by letting him join the team, not taking into consideration the challenges that his first year of "real" high school will bring this year.  But after attending the parent meeting last night, I know God led us to make this last minute choice.  The coach is brand new this year and is bringing a whole new academic mindset to the athletic department.  Not only does he work hard to teach these guys to be real men, but he is adding time to the football schedule to coach them through academics, as well. He's adding mandatory study hall for 30 minutes each day so any student struggling can get the help they need, plus he's adding mandatory tutorials one day each week.  I believe this might be exactly the extra help and support Juan David will need this year. Plus it will keep him from slipping through the cracks.

The first two days of practice were long and tough, and we're trying to find a new routine at home to manage both boys' schedules and still protect family time. But I think it will be worth the challenge.  I love the fact that my boys have great coaches who are positive male role models in their lives. Now Juan David will have two great coaches (since he's still playing for the same soccer team, too). For a boy who grew up with very few positive male role models, they are  vital to his development!