Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 60

Disturbed

Yep. It's official now, and I'm a bit disturbed at the thought. With David turning 13 years old today, I now am officially a mom of two teenage boys. Pray for me.

Pray for me to start the process of letting go of my little boy, letting him go through some awkward phases as he begins his search for self, letting him pull away a little bit more each year that passes.

Pray for me to remember myself at that age (that's a scary thought in itself) so I can handle the inevitable trials with grace, patience, and compassion.

Pray for me to keep fighting for his heart every day, teaching him how to give it to God before anyone else.

Pray for me to never stop praying for him. To not let a single day go by that I don't pray for him and with him.

For all of these boys, for that matter.  I can't imagine life without any of them.

Silence

Silence and solitude. Ahhhhhhh.

My favorite way to recharge my batteries. At this moment, I am actually sitting in an absolutely silent house, other than the sound of a crackling of the fire behind me. I braced myself all day to brave the suddenly cold temps this evening, despite an already sore throat,  in order to watch my boys' soccer games. Instead, Mike volunteered to go and started a fire in the fireplace before he left so I could relax. Yes, he's a keeper.

Garland Cup Tournament

Both my boys played in a big tournament this weekend, making our day long and full yesterday. Though the calendar had it starting on Wednesday, the rain pushed their Wednesday games into Saturday, giving them five games total between the two of them yesterday.  
The first game started at 9:15 in the morning, and the last game ended at 7:15 in the evening. Thankfully David's team had a little cookout between games, so that kept us from having to try to squeeze in a quick lunch somewhere.  
David's team lost their first game, then Juan's team lost their first game. After stuffing themselves with hamburgers and hotdogs and cake, David's team played again and tied.  By his third game, they pushed hard, but they couldn't pull off a win. David did finally score a really nice goal, though, so he had something to be proud of.  They did not advance in the tournament, though.
After that, Juan's team played their second game at six o'clock. I don't know if David's coach put some special potion in those burgers at lunch, but Juan played with incredible inspiration and scored three goals! Several players congratulated him on his "hat trick", so we had to explain to him what that meant. :) It was definitely his best game all season, perhaps out of all three seasons so far. 
His team advanced to the final game today, but they ended up losing 0-1. There were only three teams in his division, so they still took home the second place medals. It's the first out of all three seasons that they didn't this particular tournament, but they still have three more games left in their regular season to be excited about.  David's team has two more games left in the regular season, as well. 

These last few Saturdays have been fun, but they are wearing me out!
Next Saturday we will be camping for David's birthday, enjoying our lovely RV that God literally gave to us. I am looking forward to actually relaxing for a change.

Love Worth Fighting For

I felt so blessed this last Friday evening to be part of the Love Worth Fighting For Marriage and Parenting event. Both Kirk and Chelsea Cameron spoke at the event, and Warren Barfield (I think that's his last name) sang for us.  I remember watching both Kirk and Chelsea on Growing Pains back in the 80's, and I always thought it was cool that #1-both of them were Christians and #2--they were married in real life.  I appreciated hearing them both speak so transparently about the ups and downs of marriage and about their struggles as parents.  They adopted their first four children, who are all teenagers now.  I loved how Chelsea spoke so authentically about the challenges of parenting and the grace they need to show their children each and every day.  She reminded me how much more I need to smile at my boys.

Marriages don't fail, people just fail at marriage. Our spouse is worth fighting for, and it was a good reminder to really step back to evaluate just what we end up fighting for every day.

Our kids are also worth fighting for. But it's more important to fight for their heart and their relationship with Christ than absolutely anything else.  If our own relationship with Christ is not what it should be, then we will not have the power or the strength to fight for it in our children's lives.

Some events come and go, and the messages stick for a short while before fading into the background. This event touched me and will be one of those messages that will stick with me for a long time.

What an honor to have two people from one of my favorite sitcoms of the 80's come to my church to talk "real" about their relationships with Christ and to pray with and for us.

One special day

Happy birthday to my Latin American son, Juan David Alspaugh. I hope he felt as special as we intended to make him feel today. He is one very cherished child, by his family here AND his family still in Colombia.
Several moments absolutely touched my heart today as his mother. If you've read my book (or even my blog entry from this date last year), you know the heartache that this particular week once held for both him and us. It happened to be the week they told him he could no longer have contact with me, and his birthday happened to be the last time they let him talk to me on the phone. It's a week that could still carry that same heartache, but now it's a week to cherish each year that it comes around.
Today I took him out for a "birthday cake sundae" after school, and we talked about that fateful day five years ago. We both remembered those last two phone conversations very clearly. Then we said, "But, hey, look at us now! We're together, eating ice cream, on your birthday." 
I also started communicating with Julian early in the morning to arrange a time for him to communicate with Juan David in the evening. It warmed my heart to listen to him talk to his brother on the phone and to hear him talk to Mercedes. 
I hope he felt loved and cherished.

[image error]


(Right before heading off to school, after Mom made a special birthday breakfast).
[image error]
(Getting ready to eat a home made birthday dessert/cookie cake).
[image error]
(A special phone call from Colombia from Julian and Mercedes)
[image error]
We also met with his counselor at school today to discuss his current (and very unique) academic situation. He had to enroll in the newcomer program last year as a freshman, but he didn't get full credit for his classes. So he enrolled in the traditional high school this year as a freshman again. He will officially be a sophomore by the end of this semester, but today we arranged a plan that should put him on track to graduate with last year's freshman class (still graduating at 19). It's going to mean a few semesters of extra hard work and some credit recovery courses, but definitely doable. We finally feel better informed and equipped to understand the high school system here.
All in all, we had a good day. 
Only ten more days till birthday #3.

Let the birthday season begin

Friday, October 31st, marks the start of a full birthday season in our home for a few weeks. Mike's birthday starts on Halloween, followed by Juan David on November 6th, and David on November 16th. Fun, fun, fun! (Meanwhile I stress to the max about how to budget both time and money from here to Christmas!)

So, yesterday we began our celebrations by spending the day together at Six Flags. We'd planned to all four go together for a day in the summer, but we never made it there. We wanted Juan David to have the experience, so we held it off until late Fall  and planned to go for one of their birthdays. Through a random conversation about our plans to go later in the month, Mike found out we could get a season pass for little more than the cost of a one-day ticket. It's a special that's been going on the last month and ended today. By going before the special ended, we ended up with four season tickets for 2015, combined with unlimited parking and unlimited visits to Hurricane Harbor, as well (for only about $50 more than we would have spent for just one visit).  Plus we get in free for the remainder of 2014. Not a bad deal! I am looking forward to many fun days to come over the next year with my boys.

I used to be the brave, adventurous one when it came to amusement parks. The higher the roller coaster, the better. I unfortunately found that my stomach can't quite handle what it could about ten to twenty years ago. :( I went on all but one ride with the boys and Mike, and I am proud to say I didn't lose any of my lunch--but it's just not as thrilling when your stomach is churning by the end of the ride.

Upset stomach or not, we had a great day together. I enjoy seeing David interact with a brother when we do things as a family, and I enjoy seeing Juan David's attachment to us grow through each experience. A year ago, he struggled with us not letting him go out more with his friends. Now he looks forward to everything we do as a family.

This coming week, the boys will both play in a soccer tournament, so we'll have a small celebration with Juan David on Thursday night for his birthday. Friday night, Mike and I get to go to a Marriage seminar at our church led by Kirk Cameron and his wife. I am really looking forward to a night with just Mike. Those days don't come by very often during soccer season, unfortunately.

After that, we're headed out camping in our beautiful house on wheels on David's birthday the following weekend, with a big cake for all three of them.  My brother and my nephews will join us, per David's request. :) I love being able to celebrate all these birthdays together, but I will likely be pretty exhausted by the last one--thankfully just in time for Thanksgiving!

Pay it forward

I've been thinking a lot about my friend Stephanie this month. My sweet friend from Bible study who never stopped smiling, never stopped living until the very day God took her home to Heaven last Halloween. She taught me to embrace life and to take advantage of every opportunity to just live.

October is always a busy time for me. Too many parent conferences to count. Lots of extra school, church, and athletic activities. Fun stuff, but sometimes too much crammed into a small period of time. I can easily find myself wishing the days away if I'm not careful. Because of the impression Stephanie left on my heart, I have tried much harder to enjoy each day as it comes (though it's still a struggle for this introvert that needs a chance to recharge).

Now as October comes to a close once again, God is using the loss of another dear friend to remind me to embrace each day. My dear friend, Susan, another Bible study buddy, stepped into the presence of Jesus just a few days ago. Today as I sat through her Memorial service to celebrate her life, I realized just how intentionally she lived, even to her last breath. She lived with such a genuine interest and concern for others. She cared deeply for other people.

I will never forget how quickly she befriended me after I first moved here. Her classroom neighbored mine, so we talked often after school and in the hallway. When she learned I was a fellow Christian, she said, "I knew there was a reason I liked you!" She and her husband helped us unpack the moving truck two weeks later and then move into our first apartment a few weeks after that.

Our friendship grew and deepened as we met to pray together at school on several occasions. We also did Bible studies together on the weekends and in the summers. We traveled to Houston together once to attend a Bible study with Beth Moore. She invited me to a Women of Faith conference, but when I didn't have the spare cash, her mom paid for my ticket and hotel fee. Little did we know that God used our studies together to prepare us both to lead larger group Bible studies in our own churches later.

As her cancer grew over the years, her strength diminished. We kept in touch through e-mails and occasional visits for coffee to give us a chance to catch up. But with  limited amounts of strength each day, she lived very intentionally, planning out how to use every moment.  She did volunteer work and led Bible studies during the day (or did them with her mom and sister) while I led them at night, so our lives slowly stopped intersecting.

I've thought of her often over the last year or two since we last met up for coffee. My biggest regret is not calling or stopping to see her over the last few months when God laid her on my heart. I even drove right by her house a few times, but never stopped. I'm not sure what held me back. Perhaps fear of knowing the truth, that her time on earth ticked away.

My most precious memory of Susan takes me back to a time she helped us out financially to fix one of our vehicles shortly after we moved to Texas. She refused to let us pay her back even a penny. She only requested that we later help someone else in need when we had the chance and the ability. Pay it forward. She taught me to give without expecting (or even wanting) anything in return. Her life exemplified a truly giving spirit.

Today I felt so honored to have known and loved Susan. I will never forget what I learned from her about paying it forward. Every time I have a chance (and the ability) to give to someone in need, I will remember Susan.

October will forever be a time to remember my two dear Bible study friends and the lessons they taught me through their lives. The impressions they left upon me will remind me to not wish time away when I'm most tempted to do so. Every day is a gift, one to be lived intentionally and with a smile.

Best pic I could get

David

Gotta brag on my "little one" (who will be thirteen in just a few weeks). They did a new kind of achievement testing in the district this year to see where each student lies in comparison to other students their age who took the same test at the same time.  My son may be a disorganized mess here at home, but he sure is a smart cookie. From what I can read from the reports, it looks like he's testing at least two grade levels above in Math and 3-4 grade levels above in Reading.  He must have gotten the Mathematical abilities from his dad, but I still keep telling him that his Mom made him smart in Reading because I have read with him so much. (And yes, we STILL read together at night whenever we find a good book).

I tell my Pre-K parents all the time that the best thing they can do for their kids is to read to them. Every day. It really does make a difference!

David's choir concert

Austin Academy Acapella Choir. This is just a snippet of David's choir concert the other night.