Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 29

Adoption and Foster Care Conference

Here's a shout out to my church for another job well done for the Adoption/Foster Care community. 
Just a little over ten years ago, God stirred the idea of adoption in our hearts, but we had no idea where to start. We attended an adoption/foster care conference held at our church, met and talked with several agencies while there, attended informational sessions regarding the steps involved and how to handle the overwhelming financial aspects, and officially started our process that very day. 
Of course, nothing ended up looking like what we'd envisioned, hoped, or planned, just like I heard from many others at yesterday's conference. But it was the day we knew we heard God say, "You're child is already out there waiting for you. What are you waiting for?"
The adoption conference at my church has proved beneficial at every stage of adoption--with all the information I needed to finally take that step of faith and obedience to start the process, with tips on how to handle a newly adopted child at home, and even now with tips to use as an adoptive parent with a post-high school child whose background signficantly affects the choices they may make as a young adult. Yesterdy I attended a session on adopting a teenager, a session on helping your child self-regulate in order to make better choices in any stage of life, and yet another session on how to keep your cool and train your body how to handle stressful situations (good for both the parent and the child). This year's conference also focused in on the birth parents and their perspective. 
I've never walked away feeling disappointed. And, of course, I love any opportunity to share our adoption story with whoever God puts in my path. There's something special about spending a day with other adoptive parents who have experienced similar things in life, or to spend it with people who just need that encouragement and inspiration to help them take that step of faith toward opening their heart and home to a child that doesn't have that love and stability of their own. 
I am so grateful to be part of a church that not only has a heart for adoption and foster care to help people get started, but who also knows and addresses the need to continue that support after the child has already entered the home. 

Our Colombian miracle(s)

Eight years ago, the word Kidsave made me want to hide under a rock and never come out. I'd followed the stirring in my heart to meet two Colombian children coming to the United States with Kidsave, loved them with everything in me, spent every penny we had to adopt them, only to be left empty-handed, broken-hearted, guilt-ridden, and absolutely humiliated.

I just couldn't even begin to fathom why God let us hear about Kidsave, why my heart stirred to meet those kids, why our paths ever had to cross, and why they still ended up without a family. Why did He let me love me love them and then not let them come home.?

Yeah, you know my story by now. And you also know that God did have plans for those kids, for us and for their older brother, too, who didn't get to come to the United States with them. God was writing a story far grander than I could have imagined, a story He's still writing.

Through our loss came so many opportunities and blessings. Three trips to Colombia, countless friends in Colombia, two books (technically three), an adopted son, a trip to Spain forever connecting two families, a failed adoption grief support group, a writing/speaking ministry, three siblings connected and in touch with one another, and a testimony that makes my heart bulge with gratitude. And those are just the blessings on my side. There are countless more from their perspective. Plus our experience led to many positive changes in the whole Summer Miracles program.

Now here we are, eight years later, no longer hiding under a rock in humiliation, but standing on it, ready to advocate for the next child given the opportunity to come here in search of the family God has already chosen for them. It was an absolute honor to sit down with Kidsave (for the first time) just a week ago with my photo books in hand to show them all the good that came out of our story.



I am so thankful for Kidsave giving my son, and his sister, a chance to come to the United States, and I am so thankful that we followed the stirring in our hearts to meet them. No, they didn't end up together. But if we had not loved and pursued them both, we may not have sought to reunite them years later. The story would have fallen short. It was all part of a beautiful plan.

Kidsave is now preparing a new group of kids to come to the United States this summer to experience life with a family and to hopefully help them meet their forever family. And guess what? They're hoping to bring at least 5-7 of them (or more) to the Dallas/Fort Worth area--if enough families will step up to host them in their home.

If you are in the DFW area and have a heart to possibly adopt an older child or at least have the space and resources to host one of them (or a few of them), please check out this website with several pictures already posted of some of the kids coming. Kidsave Summer Miracles program

Please feel free to share this post or the website, as well, to anyone else you might know that may be interested. If you know my son, Juan, you know what a happy, fun-loving "boy" he is. Imagine his life if he'd never had the chance to come here and meet us, the family God prepared him for and prepared for him.

I look forward to working with the DFW Summer Miracles program this summer in any way I can. God allowed me to travel the world last summer, so I felt the need to stay home this year. How exciting to know that a little piece of Colombia will be coming here.

If God is stirring something in your heart, don't ignore it. We're so glad we didn't. It wasn't (isn't) easy. But it's worth it.

One word

A year ago right now, I found myself still in the beginning stages of recovery from severe burnout. Life was rather scattered, and I felt absolutely exhausted and depleted. I'd run into a wall, and I could almost audibly hear God whisper one word to me. "Stop!"

Stop all the busyness. Take some time off from the things you once loved but don't even enjoy anymore. Stop striving to please everyone around you. Take some time to rest in Me while you gather your thoughts and regain your focus.

And there it was: my word for 2017. FOCUS.

I listened. I pondered. I took a step back from my normal activity. And I made sure I focused on one thing at a time, my best yes.

Basically, God was trying to tell me, "I have BIG plans for you, but I need you fully present and focused so I can accomplish my will in you,  through you, and for you."

To be able to find your best yes, you have to learn when to say no--or to realize what your YES meant you said NO to. Running from one activity to the next wasn't going to work anymore.

I took a step back from writing, barely writing a thing all year long. Instead I listened to that still small voice and started an online support group for anyone grieving a failed adoption, a group that has grown to over 120 members in one short year.

I took a step back from women's Bible study and focused on personal Bible study instead. That meant saying yes to a night at home and the opportunity to go to bed early at least one night a week. It meant using my Saturday mornings to work on scholarship applications with my son rather than using that time to keep up with Bible study homework.

I took a step back from trying to participate in every activity or volunteer requst that came my way (no matter how good it seemed) and focused on being fully present for my family, at both of my sons' athletic events, through my adoptive son's last semester of high school and first semester of college. Present with my parents when my dad sustained a life threatening brain injury from an automobile accident. Present with God for an entire week alone while my husband and sons were far away at camp. Present with Juan on our first international mission trip together and then fully present as we travelled to Spain to reunite with his sister. Present with my husband as we stayed connected over weekly dates on Sunday mornings, a time I used to devote to writing. And then present through the holidays to take advantage of the chance to visit and reconnect with both sides of the family over Christmas.

Learning to focus made a world of difference for me. I am starting this year much more energized than I was a year ago, energy that comes naturally, I believe, after seeing several very deep longings fulfilled.

2017 took our family all over the map, literally. From Texas to Missouri, Colorado, Guatemala, California, Spain, Oklahoma, Indiana, Pennsylvania, and Washington D.C. It held soccer games, banquets,Senior night, graduation, mission trips, college orientation, camp, Six Flags, and Homecoming. In between all that, it also held moments of significant challenge, heartache, and loss. Those hard moments sometimes made the good ones hard to celebrate.

So now it's time to settle down for awhile (I hope) and just reflect and take it all in.

I don't want to just push forward and forget all the amazing things that God did for me and my family in 2017. I don't want to say, "Okay. Been there, done that. What's next?" I want to cherish them, to savor the richness of each moment spent connecting and reconnecting with my family.

Like the moment my son walked the stage to receive his diploma after only speaking English for three years. Or the moment my dad read the card my mom gave him for their anniversary after not being able to speak just a day before that. Or the moment the other leaders on the Gautemala trip told me how proud I must be of my son for how clearly he taught the gospel to a full room of kids and kept them fully engaged as he spoke. Or the moment I watched Laura run past all the barriers in the airport to embrace her brother for the first time in six and a half years. Or the moment she snuggled up beside me, held my hand, and looked at old pictures with me, remembering our phone conversations from eight years ago. Or the moment I read someone else encourage a new member in the failed adoption grief support group, saying how key the group has been in their own healing. Etc. Etc. I could go on and on.

My boys are so tired of me taking so many pictures, but the pictures are what I cherish more than anything because they are tangible evidence of the memories we made together.

So there it is, my word for 2018. CHERISH. To spend the next year counting my blessings, savoring each tender moment, cherishing each memory and every memory to be made in the year ahead.

Moments to cherish #Collectmomentsnotthings

Christmas without gifts.
I'd say it turned into one of the best Christmasses ever. I wouldn't trade it for a single gift to unwrap on Christmas morning. 
Now we have pictures and memories that can be unwrapped again and again, to cherish for years to come. I cannot even begin to describe how much it meant to me for Juan to meet my brother and his family, the rest of the Kloppmann clan that does not live in Texas.
Here are a few of my favorites.

Tenth stop

Alarms rang at 3 a.m. on New Year's Eve morning, and we all headed out the door by 4 a.m. for an early morning flight. First to Chicago, then to Dallas. 
If we thought DC was cold with weather in the 20's and 30's, it was only 2 degrees when we landed in Chicago. I had the window seat, and all I could see was snow for miles and miles. 


And as much as I wanted to head home to warmer temps, our second flight was delayed about a half hour or so due to freezing rain and sleet in DFW. We are very thankful to Amy and Kyleigh (David's sweetheart) for braving the roads to come get us. They also did an awesome job taking care of our spoiled animals while we were gone, and we even came home to a plate of cookies!
After a long day of unpacking, doing laundry, and grocery shopping, we still had to stay up long enough to bring in the New Year with one son and then pick up the other son from a party with some church friends. 

And as a way to bring our two week family reconnection journey to a close, guess who the boys got to spend New Year's Day with? More cousins! They got to celebrate Sam and Will's entry into teenagehood, along with their aunt and uncle, and their grandparents--who are now here to stay. 




What started out as a heartbreaking situation of NOT being able to reunite Julian with his two siblings turned into a chance for our family to see and reconnect (and meet several for the first time) with almost every family member on both sides of our immediate families, plus two aunts, an uncle, and a Grandma. We almost even fit in a stop at my Grandma's, but our plans that day did not coincide since we didn't think about it until too late. 

Ninth stop

We warmed up at the hotel for a brief night, had a nice breakfast Saturday morning, bundled back up, and packed our things once again to spend our last day of vacation touring DC during the daylight.



A Christmas tree for soldiers right beside the Vietnam Memorial Wall. 



We hopped off the tour bus to walk around some of the places we wanted to see. This was as close as we got to the White House.  These were all the Christmas trees in front of the White House. There is the National Christmas tree, and then little trees lined up all around it to represent all of the states. 
The Texas tree
The National Christmas tree
The little train that runs around the big tree The Indiana tree The Nativity by the trees
From there we went shopping in the White House Gift Shop, then we kept walking to get to the National Archives.  On the way we passed the Trump Hotel. 
Arriving at the National Archives 
After seeing the original Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, we decided to hop back on the tour bus to see some more sights and to learn about more of the history of each place via the tourguide.  Here we are waiting on the next bus to come. 
The Pentagon Arlington National Cemetary (which took us into Virgina for a few minutes)
A nice stop at Pizzeria Uno in Union Station, trying to warm up after spending the day out in the cold. 
Starbucks made the perfect stop before heading out to our final hotel, one situated close to the airport for our early flight out the next morning. 
Next stop: A quick flight to Chicago O'Hare, then home!

Eighth stop

As much as I treasured every minute with my brother and his family in Pennsylvania, all four of us were ready for an adventure of our own. 

The last time we traveled to PA, we ended our stay on New Year's Eve in New York City. This time, we headed to Washington D.C. Both boys were at the prime age to take it all in and actually remember it.  Juan is taking US History this semester, and David will take it next year, so touring the capital could not have come at a better time for them academically. 


Thanks to a special gift from my parents, we decided to splurge on ourselves and order tickets for the tour bus. Despite the frigid temps, we bundled up and braved the cold so we could sit on the upper level of the double-decker bus. The tour stopped just long enough at each sight so we could stand up and get a picture, and the tour guide was nice enough to take pictures of us on the bus. :)





















We really had a great time, and we stopped at the Starbucks in Union Stations to help us warm up a bit before heading to the hotel that night. 
Next stop: The day tour

Seventh stop

These pics are actually a mix of all 3 days that we spent with Jon, but I'm lumping them into one single category, a day with my brother. 

When he started his own business, Kloppmann Architects, several years ago, he sent us a couple of these cool mugs and t-shirts to go with them. Of course, my brother would choose this mug out of his cupboard to serve me the fancy coffee he made for me after dinner. 

We enjoyed exploring a chunk of the land that he and his wife purchased a few years ago to build their house on. 

I loved seeing how well they got along with their cousins that they had never met before. (Actually, David met Shawnee, Jack, and Ethan, but that was when Ethan had just turned two. We celebrated Ethan's tenth birthday on this particular visit.)

These two absolutely adored Juan. 
Ethan's birthday dinner

The last time David and Shawnee were together until now


Still can't believe we're both over 40. I moved away from him when I was only 15 years old and then moved even farther from him in my twenties. 
Most of the Kloppmann cousins together in this pic. Just missing two (plus the Texas Kloppmann cousins).

You can't go to Lancaster County without taking your teenage boys to Intercourse for the day. Lol.



I kept taking selfies with my brother, and we made it a joke that it would be another decade before we saw each other again. I sure hope not!
I took a lot more pictures of the whole family, but out of respect for their privacy, I only posted a few. I'm sure Jill is probably already going crazy for the few I posted with their temporary rental house (and lots of outdated wallpaper and decor) in them. 

Sixth stop

Wednesday morning we took our time getting up before hitting the little town of Ephrata, PA, where I was born and spent the first 15 1/2 years of my life.  The boys truly were not very thrilled to go, but I found it important for them to know more about me and my history. Especially since I spent as much time in Ephrata as Juan spent in Bogota, Colombia. 

First we drove by the last house we lived in, a house we had built when I was 5 years old, so it's pretty much the only house I have memories of. It used to be a light blue, but now it's white. They changed the front porch area and added a room on the back where we had a backyard patio. The little trees my dad planted have all grown super tall, but I couldn't believe that the swingset my dad had built out of telephone poles over 30 years ago is still standing today.  I'm sure it seems a lot smaller now, though, surrounded by such big trees. 

Ephrata is situated right in the heart of Lancaster Country, a rich farming/Amish community. We lived in a neighborhood, but we'd go for long walks or ride our bikes often down this specific country road (Zooksmille Road) to one of our favorite landmarks. 

This beautiful covered bridge sat about a mile or so from our house. 



Now you can even read about the history of the bridge when you visit.

We also drove into town to drive by my old church, Grace Fellowship Church, where most of my childhood memories are preserved. My dad pastored this church for 16 years before we moved to Indiana. 
We visited a little Colombian restaurant that a fellow adoptive parent of a child from Colombia told me about. We ordered some empanadas to take back to Jonathan and his family so they could get a little taste of Colombia. We obviously had a little fun with some picture props while there, too.
We also drove by the first house I lived in (the old church parsonage), the second house I lived in (the street where 5-year-old me got hit by a car), and a few other places I frequented as a child/young teenager). Ephrata brought back a lot of memories, especially since the landscape hasn't changed much at all in the last 25 years due to its conservative, small-town culture. 

After visiting Ephrata, we headed out closer to my brother's place, but not without stopping for lunch to make sure my niece, Shawnee, was doing a good job at work. :) She made us some really good pizzas, and she sat and ate Colombian empanadas with us while we ate our pizza. 



We also stopped at my old high school on Horseshoe Lane when we found out how close it was to our hotel. Honestly, I couldn't find anything that had changed. Driving up to it brought memories back of certain classes, where the bus dropped me off, and the cross-country course I used to run with my brother, Matt, with the Coed Cross Country team my sophomore year. 



I loved taking this trip down memory lane, and I found Lancaster County to still be just as beautiful as I remembered it, if not more (because some things in life just can't be appreciated fully until we're older).
Speaking of things you don't fully appreciate till you're older, I think spending a day with your sibling definitely falls into that category. 
Next stop: a day with my big brother and his family. 

Fifth stop

The morning after Christmas, we boarded a plane in Indianapolis, IN and flew first to Charlotte, North Carolina, and then on to Baltimore, Maryland. From there we rented a car and drove to Lancaster, Pennsylvania ( four states in one day!) to a cute little motel called the Country Inn of Lancaster. If you're visiting Lancaster, I highly recommend the place. Free coffee, juice, or infused water all day long, free popcorn during the afternoon and early evening hours, free breakfast, a pool and hot tub, a quaint lobby with a small gift shop area, and just a very homey, country feel. 
After we checked in to the motel and unpacked the car, we then drove another half hour to visit my oldest brother, Jonathan, whome I hadn't seen in eight solid years. In fact, the last time I saw my brother was right after our first adoption attempt had failed. We took off on a family trip that Christmas as a way to escape the pain and try to build new memories as a family of three. Only God knew that the next time we'd come, we'd actually bring Juan with us.  This was Juan's first chance to meet his aunt, uncle, and cousins, and it was all of our chance to meet my brother's two youngest kids. 

I cherished the chance to reconnect with my brother and his wife, and I just loved spending time with my sweet niece, Shawnee. The more I talked to her, the more we realized just how similar our personalities are and how alike we are. I love that. :)



Juan didn't take long at all to warm up to this set of cousins. He went upstairs with them, and this is what I found about an hour later. 



They bonded quickly over video games that first night, and I was so surprised at how quickly they continued to bond over the next two days. David enjoyed sitting around the table playing cards, eating venison, drinking coffee, and just talking with his aunt and uncle. While David hung out with the adults (and Shawnee), Juan had no problem playing and entertaining all the younger cousins. His aunt, Jill, commented that he sure is going to make a great dad someday. I am so glad he's finally gotten the chance to get to know this set of cousins. I looked forward to the opportunity to show him around where I grew up on our next stop, Ephrata, Pennsylvania. Almost 25 years to the day since I'd moved away.