Destiny Allison's Blog, page 6
January 27, 2016
The Choice of Invisibility
Have you ever felt invisible? What do you do to be seen?
Today, I’m a guest on Sherrey Meyer’s blog and I’m writing about invisibility. I hope you check it out and let me know what you think.
Healing, like writing, is a slow and difficult process. One day, one word at time, we fill the holes in our hearts. Each word is a drop of water in a dry pond. It is a tear finally shed, a hurt undone. The process not only heals us, it empowers us to do things differently in the future because it changes the way we see ourselves.
Unfortunately, changing the present is more challenging. As we work to give voice to our stories and release them, we are under a constant barrage of cultural norms that seek to diminish us. It takes great courage to rally our voices in a surging storm. To continue reading, Click Here.
January 23, 2016
She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink
I loved this! This is so much of what my husband and I fought about as we went down the rabbit hole in The Romance Diet. I hope you read and share. This guy nails it.
“It seems so unreasonable when you put it that way: My wife left me because sometimes I leave dishes by the sink.
It makes her seem ridiculous; and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations…”
Source: She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink
January 22, 2016
Live with Julia Goldberg
I had a great time talking with Julia Goldberg today about The Romance Diet. Julia is an accomplished writer and teaches writing at the University of Art and Design. Her book, Inside Story: Everyone’s Guide to Reporting and Writing Creative Nonfiction, will be published by Leaf Storm Press this summer.
Here’s a link in case you want to listen to our conversation. My segment starts about a 1/3 of the way through.
http://santafe.com/thevoice/podcasts/hunky-dory
January 21, 2016
The Official Launch
There’s a lot going on right now as I gear up for the official launch of The Romance Diet at Collected Works Bookstore on Tuesday at 6 pm.
Tomorrow, Friday, I’ll be on two different radio shows. The first is at 12 pm MST with Julia Goldberg. Here’s a link if you’d like to listen.
At 4 pm MST, I’ll be live with Lynn Cline of Cline’s Corner on KVSF. Here’s a link for that one.
Both conversations should be pretty interesting, though different in tone.
Yesterday, I was on with Jenny McCarthy on Sirius XM’s Dirty, Sexy, Funny. When I get the MP3, I’ll post it.
Also, I’m honored to be a guest on Memoir Writer’s Journey tomorrow with Kathy Pooler. Kathy is featuring one of my posts and is also doing a review.
I hope you can join me on any or all events. Thanks so much for bearing with me and supporting the journey. Looking forward to your thoughts.
January 20, 2016
Create Write Now Guest Post
I’m honored that Mari is featuring me on her blog today. Here’s an excerpt of the post:
When I was young, I imagined sitting at a desk in a small, dark room frantically typing away at my next bestseller. I would be brilliant, adored, infinitely creative and, of course, beautiful. I didn’t understand then that beauty was subjective, and that it would take a lifetime for me to realize how to love myself.
Nothing turned out the way I originally imagined. My office is light filled and tranquil. African masks grace a warm, vanilla wall. A green patina vase holds silk flowers the color of fall. I have yet to write a bestseller. While there are those who adore me and creativity still abounds, youthful beauty has faded like the photos in the hall.
I started writing at nine. At ten, my parents told me I was fat, and my world began to shift.
By twelve, I had breasts but my mother didn’t believe in bras. Running down the soccer field, they bounced and jiggled of their own free will. Boys snickered. Girls whispered. I hated the attention.
At sixteen, I was a college freshman. I didn’t belong. With braces on my teeth and a body hidden beneath flannel shirts and loose Levis, I tried to fit in. I borrowed clothes, put on excessive makeup, and went to parties with the rest of the kids.
I fell in love. I learned about sex…. To read more, click here, and let me know how the world has shaped your body image.
January 13, 2016
Guest Post on Giving Voice to the Voiceless
Honored to be featured on Giving Voice to the Voiceless. Check out my post on having the courage to write my story and let me know what you think.
http://www.givingavoicetothevoicelessbook.com/…/find-the-c…/
January 9, 2016
Beauty Vs. Sexy
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by James McGrath Morris about my new book. During the interview, he said, “Beauty is a powerful thing in society.” He went on to ask how we change men’s eyes; how we change the way men view women because their perception has been institutionalized. Days later, his question haunts me.
How do we change the way men perceive beauty?
Is it possible?
Can women stop trying to be an ideal and still have men desire them?
Because lets face it, we want to be desired.
I struggled with this. There’s such a fine line between wanting to be desired and feeling sexualized. When James asked his question, I replied, “We need to start believing our men and learn to say thank you instead of calling them liars when they compliment us.”
My husband does not think I am less beautiful when I wake and stagger bleary-eyed into the kitchen. He thinks I’m sleepy. He does not find me less beautiful when I’m sweaty, covered in dust, or walking around in sweatpants and no makeup. His perception of my beauty isn’t flawed. Mine is. That’s because in our culture, beauty is tied to desirability. Desirability is institutionalized. If you’re not sexually desirable according to prescribed norms, you’re not beautiful in your own eyes.
In the media, the two are inexorably linked. In bars and clubs, dorm rooms and offices, beauty is trumped by sexuality and sexuality is defined by the media’s estimation of desirability. Is the woman soft? Conquerable? Does she cast down her eyes in a gesture of submission? Do her plump, red lips invite male fantasy? The curve of a breast, a long, lithe thigh, or an ass that’s just the right size are weapons used against women and men. For men: Who can get the hottest chick? For women: How hot can a chick get?
Sexy and beautiful are two different things. Beauty shines. It’s vital, engaging, and undiminished by conventional definitions. Sexy, on the other hand, changes according to societal trends.
Today, thinking about James’ question, I’m wondering. What if women traded on beauty instead of sexy? What if we allow ourselves to be vital? The fact is the men who love us find us sexy at the strangest times. They also find us sexy most of the time. We’re desirable because they love us and that means we don’t have to subscribe to the conventions. If we’re to change men’s eyes, we need to stop being commodities and let ourselves shine.
January 8, 2016
The Next Blog Tour
I know. The promotion gets a little old, but I have to do it. Please bear with me a little while longer and join me on the next blog tour for The Romance Diet. It kicks off on Monday and I hope you follow along. Here’s the schedule:
Blog Tour Schedule for The Romance Diet
Jan. 11 @ The Muffin
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
Interview
Jan. 12 @ Giving Voice to Your Story
http://www.givingavoicetothevoicelessbook.com/blog/
Guest Post on “Finding the Courage to Write My Story”
Jan. 14 @ The Unfaithful Widow
http://theunfaithfulwidow.blogspot.com/
Book Review
Jan. 18 @ Giving Voice to Your Story
http://www.givingavoicetothevoicelessbook.com/blog/
Guest Post on “How I Revise”
Jan. 19 @ Building Bookshelves
blogs.republicanherald.com/bookshelves
Interview
Jan. 20 @ Create Write Now
Guest post on the topic of body image
Jan. 22 @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Guest post on the topic of cultural norms and the effects on women’s self-esteem.
Note: Kathy will also post a review of The Romance Diet.
Jan. 25 @ Renee’s Pages
http://www.reneespages.blogspot.com
Book Review
Jan. 27 @ Sherrey Meyer, The Writer
Guest post on the topic of invisibility
Jan. 29 @ Puddletown Reviews (Sherry Meyers’ separate book review blog)
Book Review
Feb. 5 @ Books & Such
Book Review
January 6, 2016
Podcast with James McGrath Morris
Today it was my great pleasure to chat with James McGrath Morris about The Romance Diet. We talked relationships, body image, cultural norms and more. James is a serious author in his own right and I hope you check him out.
Here’s a link to the podcast. Take a listen and let me know your thoughts.
http://santafe.com/thevoice/podcasts/collected-words-january-6-2015
December 31, 2015
January
January. Beginnings and endings. Looking forward and back. Reflection, celebration, hope, and inspiration.
January is thought to be named for the Roman god, Janus. He is the god of beginnings and transitions, and thereby of gates, doors, doorways, passages and endings.
May this New Year bring you many gates that you may open them to the outside world and step into beauty and silence.
May it bring you many doors that you may explore unknown rooms and possibilities.
May it bring you passages that move you through grief or sadness to something brighter on the other side.
May it bring you endings so that you may discover new beginnings.
Janus also presided over the beginning and ending of conflict, and hence war and peace. The doors of his temple were open in time of war, and closed to mark the peace.
I pray his door stays shut this year and that peace reigns with joy in your lives.
Happy New Year. Thanks for who you are and what you’ve brought to my life this year.
Also, I received a gift today. The Romance Diet is now available as an ebook. Here’s the Amazon link if you want to check it out.
