Adam Chester's Blog, page 3

I Have Gallstones, A Hernia, A Sensitive Intestine And High Blood Pressure

I give you all permission to use the above for your next Match.com profile update. Happy Passover and Easter to all! Sunday Adam- Don’t eat nuts! It is bad for you and very hard to digest. That’s why the doctor told me not to eat corn or anything that can get caught in the intestine. [...]

They’re A Bunch Of Liars

Hi! It’s Adam calling. Is my mother, Joan available? She’s on her lunchbreak? Hmmm. I don’t believe you. Wednesday Dear Adam- Just a note to tell you not to call my office at any time. I’m having a lot of trouble with them and they’re a bunch of liars! Love, Mom  

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Never a dull moment.

Miami International Airport

While my mother may look like a kind, sweet, helpless little old lady slowly stepping into a wheelchair to get from the plane to baggage claim, don’t be fooled! I think it’s all just part of her shtick to keep a closer eye on me…

I Don’t Look Much Better Than That Dog

I found this in my mother-in-law, Annette’s box of things to throw away. Can you imagine?! I thought, how DARE she! It’s kinda like throwing away a Picasso… Monday Annette- I got your card. It’s a great card! It says so much. Thanks for my picture! I don’t look much better than that dog!! In [...]

The Phone

Can you say CALLER ID? October 4 Adam- Nobody ever answers the phone at your house. I don’t know why I even have that number. Love, Mom

Cigar Store

Just now, I drove to one of my favorite cigar places in LA. I walked in hungry for a nice robusto. I looked up. Sitting there. In one of the leather chairs. Talking with the owner of the store. Who? My mother. Seriously? Is there no place sacred left for me?????

Drop Dead

“Anyway, I’ll see you later.” February 7, 2012 Tuesday Adam- You can’t keep going like this 24 hours a day. You can’t go out with Maria Sunday afternoon, Adam. You have to get some rest. What do you want to do-Drop Dead? God Forbid! Anyway, I’ll see you later. Love, Mom

Hearththrob

You heard my mother! Now please, everyone. Calmly form 2 lines. Have your working pens ready and I promise I’ll get to all of you in this delusion one at a time. Adam- Maybe you could send a tape to Fenster with a photograph of you. All the teenagers would go wild when they see [...]

Tim

Oh No!…NOT THE DREADED NASAL INFECTION!!!! 3/18/1986 Monday Dear Adam, Just a thought! Tim had an infection before I left. A nasal infection. That can be contagious if you drink from the same glass or use the same utensil. So I hope you didn’t catch it from him. If you did, you have to go [...]