Heather Holleman's Blog, page 16

Prepare for the Rumble

You know how when a plane lands, it’s so jarring for that one second? And you know how the brakes make you feel like you’re going to fly forward? And you know how you’re bracing until all of a sudden, it all feels smooth and right again? Well, transition periods are always like this. My friend reminded me today to expect all the disorientation of my youngest starting college and me starting a fresh semester. When we expect it, we prepare differently. We hold tight to people around you. We take deep breaths. We find the beauty in uncertainty and know that things will settle.

The rumble strips on a highway that slow us down in order to know some kind of transitional period is here signal a time of slowing down, introspection, thinking about new goals, and caring for our souls. It’s a time for reconnecting with God in a new way. I felt this when I got married. I wondered how I would relate to God differently. I felt this when I had my daughters, when we moved from Michigan to Pennsylvania, when I started my teaching career, and again when I started my writing and speaking life. We change; God stays the same. And God is already in our future and stands ready to welcome us into all the blessings He’s prepared.

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The Solid Place

Today I found a quote by Henri Nouwen that he wrote in his secret journal (published in The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom) on a day when he didn’t feel God’s love. He writes, “You have to trust the place that is solid, the place where you can say yes to God’s love even when you do not feel it. Right now you feel nothing except emptiness and the lack of strength to choose. But keep saying, ‘God loves me, and God’s love is enough.’ You have to choose the solid place over and over again and return to it after every failure.“

Here, and nowhere else, Nouwen says, is where you’ll find your answer to life’s deepest questions. It’s the solid place of God’s love.

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I Will Have One: The Humor and Kindness of God

I think it’s so kind of God that I will enjoy exactly one plumcot from my tree before I force regeneration (cut it down). It’s ripening beautifully on my sick tree. I love that I get this one plumcot, and it makes me laugh that God, in His kindness, granted it. It made no sense to even have this one plumcot. Why one? It had nothing to cross-pollinate. It felt random and impossible. But here you go. My one piece of fruit. Maybe next summer, I’ll have a tree full of them.

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Merlin’s Paw

Merlin has an automatic food bowl that only he can eat from (as part of his diet plan). He can’t eat from anyone else’s bowl because only his microchip works to open his bowl covering (and no other cat bowl). He must bow his head close, and the bowl opens. However, somewhere in his past experiences, Merlin believe his paw opened the bowl, not his microchip in his neck. So he sticks his paw onto the bowl, tapping it like it’s a magic wand. When it doesn’t work, he assists the paw by giving it help with his head. Obviously, the microchip now works.

It was never the paw working so hard to make something happen. It was always the bowed head. I remember this as a pray each morning. I think what I’m doing for God makes all the difference, when really, I have it all wrong.

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Wait and See

Some of my pumpkin vines don’t look like pumpkin vines. What in the world did I plant? This happens occasionally, especially near my compost pile. I stand there, tapping my chin. Is this a watermelon? A squash? Some kind of giant gourd vine?

I love the surprise of it. I love the lesson of sowing to please the Spirit and not knowing exactly what kind of wonderful fruit it might bear in my life. I love that so much of my life with Jesus involves waiting and not knowing exactly what’s coming or what kind of harvest I’ll enjoy.

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Better Stress Responses

This morning in my WW meeting, we learned about having better stress responses. Many people make poor choices when under stress. Maybe it has something to do with reactive brain states, or maybe it has to do with how we’ve always responded to stress. When you consider your normal stress responses that don’t serve you or others well, think about interrupting that response with something better.

But how? First, consider how you respond to stress. Then ask yourself if you are happy about this response. It is serving you well? Is it good for you? Is it good for other people? It is fueling an addiction? Then, think about other responses to stress. Instead of controlling people, resorting to rage, over-indulging in anything, or overspending (or whatever it is), bring out your list of things to do instead. Go for a walk. Eat an apple. Write in your journal. Take a bath. Clean something. Pray.

I enjoyed this lesson because it moves us out of automatic ways of living that don’t help us thrive. And it made me remember my two top stress-reliving psalms! Psalm 18 and Psalm 119 carried me through the stress of graduate school, motherhood, and career. I highlighted, “I called to the Lord in my distress. . . ” (Psalm 18:6). Calling to the Lord is our best stress response. Remembering God’s attributes, too, helps us in stress. As the wise Libby Miller of Camp Greystone told me when I was 19 years old, “Stress happens when we assume responsibility for things we aren’t responsible for. God is responsible for this.” Think of God’s power, sovereignty, goodness, and love. Libby Miller waltzed through life. She was unflappable. She was healthy, calm, and joyful. She knew the secret of a low-stress life even as she directed an entire summer camp.

We might even consider what triggers our greatest stress and prepare in advance for how we’ll handle it. For me, it’s always travel. I love to stay home. So when I travel, I think of the best ways I will respond to stress. Listening to music (Jazz for Autumn is my favorite relaxation Spotify playlist), smelling lavender, walking, reading, journaling, praying—these all help. But the best choice? Call to the Lord. He is there and will answer.

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Day and Night

This morning I read Andrew Murray’s reminder to see our lives as a vineyard that God continually cares for. He quotes Isaiah 27:3. While this passage is about God’s care of Israel, it also tells us about God’s guarding care for His people in general:

“Sing about a fruitful vineyard: I, the Lord, watch over it; I water it continually. I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it.”

I love remembering God’s guarding care, His watchful eye, and His Living Water in our souls.

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More and More

Today I loved the cool breeze, the Adirondack chairs, and the ripening tomato. I loved baking in the kitchen in the chaos of adult daughters also in the kitchen. I loved drinking coffee with hazelnut flavoring. I loved listening to music and a Spotify playlist called Jazz for Autumn. I loved the family decision to order Chinese take-out for dinner. I loved responding to the invitation to visit friends in the evening. I loved petting my cat. I loved reading about toxic shame, about living with uncertainty, and about hope. I loved praying. I loved helping one daughter pick out fall clothes, fall candles, and fall decor. I loved braiding my own hair. Each day offers so much to love, so much to thank God for.

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Preparing for the New Season

At least for me, the Back-to-School season started with the new month. And again for me, it’s a new season of fresh work responsibilities and opportunities, ministry events, and most importantly, the “empty nest” of both daughters in college and away from home. What about you?

In times of transition, I’m learning (and have learned) that we need to double up our support networks. Add in more supportive friendships; add in more medical appointments if possible to check that all is well; add in therapy if needed; add in a commitment to exercise and lift weights; add in more water; add in more joyful practices.

Speaking of joyful practices: So many of us don’t have any. We don’t know what brings us joy, and we don’t make time for these things. It’s OK if you’re feeling lost at sea in starting a program for more joy. Try things out. Pay attention to what makes you feel good. Do more of that. For me, it’s time in nature, writing, praying, baking, blessing people, bubble baths, dates with Ash, and time with friends (especially if it involves nature and baking!). I’m also loving sitting in the Adirondack chairs and connecting with neighbors. Maybe this is your season to go back to church, join a Bible study, start a new hobby, or join a free support group for whatever challenge faces you. Maybe this is your season to start taking steps of faith to serve people based on your spiritual gifts.

Speaking of adding things in: It’s just as important to take things out. Let’s start making our “Not To Do List.” Remember that from a decade ago? What will you NOT do this autumn season? I’ve already said “no” to several things that didn’t fit with what I know the Lord has called me to do. This might take some time for prayer and listening so you know what to decline and accept.

More support. More joy. Less of what isn’t good. Let’s go!

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Perfect Little Mushrooms

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