Heather Holleman's Blog, page 12

To Good Use

After traveling, I often return to the raspberries to harvest the too-ripe berries. Sometimes, they have already over-ripened and rotted there. I always feel the same way about it: Sometimes, if you don’t put a good thing to good use, it rots on the vine. Our gifts are made for using, for being picked and enjoyed. If we’re holding some gift in, some talent, some dream, some project, some way of serving, we might consider stepping out and blessing others now and not waiting.

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Talking to Young Readers

Today I spoke with a young reader who asked me to sign her book. She wanted me to know she read This Seat’s Saved twice already (and the first time only took her one morning!). I carefully received her well-loved book, signed it for her, handed it back, and then asked if she wanted a sequel. What would you want to happen to the characters next? Whose story did you want more of?

I love to hear opinions from the young and the old. Shall we follow Margo’s story? What if she buys a horse? What if Lindsay has a book about her life in private school? What happens at the Winter Dance? What about Mrs. Burgley’s backstory? What about Alli Wu? An older reader wondered if every book that follows This Seat’s Saved should focus on one character’s journey. I loved that idea!

Meanwhile, I love that writers write and readers read. I love it when the two come together.

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Better Decisions

I learned something in my WW meeting last week. Happier people make better decisions. It’s hard to make good decisions when you’re afraid, sad or anxious. I also learned this in my trauma-informed teaching class this summer. It’s harder to learn when you’re afraid or anxious. It’s harder to do most things, really.

The technique we learned, of course, involves gratitude. When you live a life of gratitude, it helps the brain make better decisions. I never thought of gratitude this way before. If it soothes the brain, releases dopamine, and somehow calms down our automatic, fearful responses, then we’re more likely to choose healthier things. We’re more likely to learn and think carefully about things, not just about food choices or exercise, but about any decision.

I love when research finally catches up to Biblical directives. I love how Paul instructs us in 1 Thessalonians what social scientists tell us we now need to do. Paul writes: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

To practice giving thanks in all circumstances, we need to believe in God’s goodness, power, and sovereignty. We’re where we are because there’s something good here. There’s something to experience about God right here. There’s some invitation to supernatural living here.

I love my gratitude journal. I make it as specific and ordinary as possible to set my mind right each morning. Thank you, God, for a purring cat, warm coffee, acorns, a good night’s sleep, a hot shower, a treadmill in a gym, music, great students, the sun shining through leaves, my neighbors who brought fresh eggs and purple potatoes and apple-cider caramels late last night, conversations with Ashley, football games in the autumn evening, root vegetables, dogs (all kinds), and fuzzy cardigans. . .

Try your own gratitude journal!

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Unite My Heart

I loved reading Psalm 86 this morning. I find a few great prayers here. First, David essentially asks God to make him happy. He does! “Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.”

I then note that David asks God to teach him and unite his heart to God’s. He writes, “Teach me Your way, O Lord; I will walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name.”

I enjoyed the simplicity of these prayers for my family: make us glad and unite our hearts to you.

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The Time You Have

Since both my daughters are now living away from home, I enjoy the blessing of more time. Some new additions to my life involve a gym membership, reading more, and spending much more time with friends as a couple. I also love taking on more ministry assignments and praying about the next years of my life. I find life offers so many wonderful things to do: sporting events, church activities, outings with friends, caring for neighbors, writing more books, praying more, reading more, baking, home and garden work, concerts, and evening movies. I still love my professional life, but when children leave the home, an empty spot opens that’s both filled with sorrow but also fresh joy for new possibilities (both for your children and you).

I love journeying alongside others in the same stage of life. We can grab dinner or lunch; we can go to the football games, we can walk and laugh and hike and pray together. It’s a beautiful time for adult friendships where nobody has to run to pick up this child or make that meal or run that errand. While you grieve it at first, what comes next is a new kind of living with more time to let God fill with joyful things.

It all feels so youthful as I’m running around with my husband like we’re newlyweds. It reminds me of the promise in Psalm 103 and how God “satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

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It’s Time: Acorns and Love

My friends bring me acorns from Ohio as a gift. Yes, I believe my love language might just be acorns. I’ll paint these this weekend, most likely something glossy and fabulous. Meanwhile, it’s that time of year when every walk becomes an acorn hunt.

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Be Helpful

This morning I remembered the advice I received from a leadership coach on how best to succeed in any setting. “Be helpful,” she said.

I think about those words so many times. In any situation, we can ask, “How can I help? What does it look like to be helpful here?”

I thought about this list:

Helpful people encourage. Helpful people add value to discussions. Helpful people do tasks others don’t want to do. Helpful people take the lowest place and serve. Helpful people offer their resources of time, money, or skill. Helpful people hold open doors, help carry loads, and offer to ease physical burdens. Helpful people run errands for others or offer to drive people where they need to go. Helpful people speak words of wisdom from scripture. Helpful people spread good cheer. Helpful people know how to connect people to the resources they need. Helpful people don’t drain the energy from others. Helpful people don’t demand their own way. Helpful people put themselves in other people’s shoes and consider what they might need.

We might ask questions like, “What do I have that I can give here? What does this person most need that I’m uniquely equipped to provide?”

I remember the first time I read Proverbs 3:27-28: Whenever you are able, do good to people who need help. If you have what your neighbor asks for, don’t say, “Come back later. I will give it to you tomorrow.”

Do good! Help others. It’s a simple and beautiful way to live today.

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Fixed

Thank you all for your patience whenever my blog doesn’t post on certain days. Ashley fixed the problem today, so you should received the daily blog. If that happens, you can always visit heatherholleman.com to read what you missed.

A friend checked in with Ashley and asked if I was OK because the blog hadn’t posted for a few days. I felt so loved! The moment made me realize that I want to be the kind of friend who notices someone else’s patterns and checks in to make sure they are OK every once in a while.

So I’m here! I’m OK! I’m blogging away!

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On Favoritism

I continue to learn what it means to “value others above” myself (Philippians 2:3) and to live with Paul’s attitude of showing honor to all and choosing especially to “associate with people of low position” (Romans 12:16). It’s interesting to know how it automatically feels to meet someone the culture values as important or famous as opposed to how you feel when you meet a child or an unknown worker in a store. God reiterated the point to me this morning as I read Psalm 62:9 and what it means to consider people of high rank, degree, or social standing verses the “low estate” of others. We’re told that, when weighed together, they are nothing at all. God does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11), and we’re told to avoid it in James 2.

I’ve been thinking about this and what we allow to impress us. What impresses us shows us what we value, and it reveals our hearts. How convicting! I think about the scribes and the pharisees and Jesus’ warning and sharp rebuke: Jesus says, “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others” (Matthew 23:5-7).

So I think about becoming a person who cares less and less about what you wear, where you sit, who knows you, and what you’ve done.

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Not for Everyone. And Not Always Right.

Recently, I’ve received a few challenging emails where readers take issue with things I’ve written. Perhaps I quote someone who later in their life said something theologically wrong. This makes readers discount a book and write inflamed messages. Some emails take on accusatory, condemning, and mean tones. Perhaps I state something a reader doesn’t feel I backed up well enough in scripture. These letters I like to read carefully so I can learn. Other letters involve people not supporting anything I write because I like pop music and listen to Taylor Swift (true story).

If you’re a writer or a speaker (or anyone posting thoughts on social media, too), this will happen. What should you do? Ask yourself this question: What does this person really want from me? If someone simply wants me to know their thoughts, I’m thankful and move on. I’m glad they engaged with my writing, even if they disagree. If someone wants to challenge my thinking, I can respond if I think what will follow involves a helpful dialogue.

It’s OK that people disagree with you. If they do, it probably means you’re contributing to a worthwhile conversation. Writing and publishing (and teaching for that matter) means you grow in the area of not needing everyone’s approval or permission to think the way you do. Early on, my favorite quote for this area of work is this: “I’m not for everyone. That’s OK.”

I’m also not God. Neither are you. I’m not rewriting the Bible, nor should you. Sometimes your favorite writers will say silly things or their theology strays near the end of their life. Stay strong in your convictions, read widely, but always stay most faithful to the Bible and to Jesus—not your favorite author.

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