Scott L. Moore's Blog, page 17

Rescue the Prisoner

“He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” – Luke 4:18-19

The other day I figured out why I love tough-guy-blow-everything-up movies. I used to think it was some deep-seated male desire to be a superhero, or at least a hero. That may be part of it. As John Eldredge says, all men want to know they have what it takes. This is even deeper, I believe.

The best example I can think of is Taken, the movie where Liam Neeson plays a retired spy. His daughter is kidnapped by sex traffickers and he has 96 hours to find her. The rest of the movie is basically the father unleashing his wrath on the demons that took his daughter, all in an effort to rescue her from the hell where she is being held captive. It is a near-perfect picture of God’s ferocious love for his children and the hell Jesus went through to set us free.

That is why I love these movies – Taken, Act of Valor, the Rambo movies. There is something deep within me that knows that, on a certain level, this is my story. I was the prisoner who was set free.

Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I used to hear that all the time when I was a kid. I don’t hear people say that nowadays. Heck, you’re more likely to hear someone going on and on about how words hurt a person’s self-esteem. Certainly, words can hurt – I’m not trying to deny that. On the contrary, I think that only supports my point, which is this: We need to teach our children to process insults appropriately. For that matter, many adults could stand a good lesson (or reminder) on this topic.

The basic assumption we need to remember is that there is evil in the world. Whether they realize it or not, or are committed to it or not, some people are doing evil. These people don’t care about your precious feelings or your self-esteem. In fact, they want to hurt your feelings and manipulate you to their advantage. They are not persuaded by logic. They don’t give in when defeated. They simply change tactics. If they can’t think of anything else, they’ll call you a bigot, even without any shred of evidence or truth. We need to be ready for these evil-doers. So do our kids.

 “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” – Matthew 10:16

We cannot take it for granted that everyone is basically good. Nor do we need to treat everyone with suspicion. We need to choose our friends carefully. There are at least four kinds of friends.

Takers – These are the friends that constantly need something and can drain your energy.
Mentors – These are people from whom you take. Hopefully, you aren’t draining them, but you certainly benefit most from the relationship.
Buddies – These are the guys you hang out with. There’s not a lot of depth to the relationship, but there doesn’t have to be. You’re just buddies.
True Friends – Not that the others aren’t true. These relationships, however, are deep and mutually beneficial. You can tell each other the harsh truth, when necessary. You both give and take from the relationship and you build each other up. “As iron sharpens iron…”

Enemies are easy. They all fall in the same category, but their attack strategies are endless and varied. If we are as wise as serpents and innocent as doves, we will recognize our enemies by the fruit they bear. Then, our strategy is simple.

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44

I didn’t say it was easy. Just simple.

Greatest Olympics Moments

By National Media Museum

In celebration of the 2012 Olympics, here are my top five favorite Olympic moments from my lifetime (Summer and Winter), counting down:

5. 2000 Sydney, Rulon Gardner defeats the previously undefeated Russian champion Aleksandr Karelin.

4. 1984 Los Angeles, Mary Lou Retton wins the first gold medal for the USA in women’s gymnastics, scoring perfect 10s on the vault and floor exercise.

3. 1994 Lillehammer – Nancy Kerrigan and Elvis Stojko both won silver medals for the USA in ice skating. In spite of the bizarre drama with Tonya Harding (Google that one if you don’t know the story), Kerrigan gave beautiful performances. Both she and Elvis were outstanding and, in my humble opinion, robbed of gold. They handled their second-place awards with class and grace.

2. 1996 Atlanta, “Magnificent Seven” – Without one real superstar, the USA women’s gymnastics team performed beyond anyone’s expectations, with the possible exception of Coach Bela Karolyi. Kerri Strug’s final vault, with a hurt ankle from her previous vault, clinched the gold medal for the USA. It was a testament to the greatness of teamwork, Karolyi’s coaching, the leadership of Captain Amanda Borden, and Kerri’s champion heart.

Finally, the greatest Olympic memory of my life…

1. 1980 Lake Placid, Miracle on Ice – The USA defeats the Soviet Union in hockey, ushering in a new era of American exceptionalism and pride. I was 9 years old. I have two overwhelming memories from that game:

Mike Eruzione scoring the winning goal and dancing around the ice in celebration.
Jim Craig was an absolute monster in goal. He was like an octopus with magic limbs that were magnetically drawn to the puck. Even at 9 years old, I knew I was witnessing true greatness.

Winning the gold medal against Finland was almost anti-climactic after the semi-final match with the Soviets, but it was the icing on the cake. Watching the whole team join Captain Mike “Rizzo” Eruzione on the podium at the medal ceremony was priceless.

Yes, these are all American Olympic moments. Argue for the Jamaican bobsled team or others, if you wish. There are certainly great moments from other countries. Don’t mess with number 1, though. Greatest moment in sports history. Period.

Honorable mention (also worth Googling): Sarah Hughes, Bruce Jenner, Dan Jansen, Mark Spitz, Michael Phelps, Eric Heiden, Apolo Ono, Scott Hamilton, etc., etc., etc.

So, bring it on. Which great moments did I overlook?

5 Basic Essentials for Successful Communication

“They call me MISTER Tibbs!” – Virgil Tibbs, played by Sydney Poitier in In the Heat of the Night

It was a rare night out with my kids and my parents. We were celebrating one of my kids’ birthdays, so we went to one of our favorite restaurants. The waiter was not even as old as I am, yet he kept calling my father by his first name or by some slang name like “Buddy”. My dad has eaten at restaurants for a lot of his meals, entertaining clients over the years. So, I’m sure he’s dealt with all kinds of servers.

I guess it didn’t bother him or he was just too gracious to say so, but I was about to throttle the waiter. I kept envisioning myself getting in his face and shouting, with the stern power of Sydney Poitier, “His name is MISTER Moore!” Not wishing to make a scene, I said nothing, but I made sure to explain to my children that when they are speaking with an elder they are to say Mister or Miss/Mrs. and their last name until instructed by the elder to do otherwise.

It got me to thinking – What other basic relational skills do my kids need to be taught? These used to be common behavior, simple politeness, but not anymore. So, call me old-fashioned, but I think these are worth holding onto.

Look a person in the eye when you are conversing with him.
Offer your hand when you meet someone and give a firm handshake.
Smile. You’d be surprised what a smile can do for your face (and your relationships).
Ask about the other person and listen attentively.
Use the proper title and name (see above).

Am I the only one who gets bothered by things like this? What else do we need to remember?

Has God Changed?

“Maybe the most devastating idea is simply that ‘Jesus doesn’t act like that anymore.’” – John Eldredge, Beautiful Outlaw

At various points in my life and faith journey, I have wondered if God had changed. I’ve read of the things he’s done in the Bible. I’ve heard and read stories of things He has done in people’s lives, but does He still work that way? Perhaps more importantly, does He work that way with me?

I think a lot of people ask this question in one way or another. If you want to grow in relationship with God, you will eventually come to a time when He feels distant, even absent, or at least silent. Many people never experience a sense that God is active in their life at all. This thinking is epidemic in certain faith doctrines.

Some even argue that the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament. He is not. The God who helped David slay Goliath is the same God who is present at the baptism of Jesus. The Holy Spirit who came upon Samson and helped him kill a thousand men with the jawbone of a donkey is the same Spirit who came upon Peter and the disciples at Pentecost. The Word that was with God in the beginning and became flesh and dwelt among us is the same Jesus at the cross, the resurrection and beyond.

What makes us think He isn’t still the same?

 

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

5 Obstacles To Successful Communication

“Are you threatening me?!” – Beavis as The Great Cornholio, Beavis and Butthead

Communication is a tricky thing. Since the Tower of Babel (and before, probably) men and women have been misunderstanding each other and each other’s messages in as many ways as there have been people. A couple nights ago, this reality smacked me right in the face. A friend and I had a little misunderstanding. I don’t want to go into all the gory details, but let’s just say I came very close to quoting Cool Hand Luke at one point.

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.”

After resolving the whole mess, I reflected on what exactly happened and I came up with several key parts of communication. A failure on any of these levels can cause a communication breakdown. Our communication breakdown hit in an area about which I wasn’t previously cognizant.

Let’s take them in kind of a structural order of importance:

Words – In a lot of communication, words are the basic element. What is the person saying, literally? If you cannot understand the words, you will have great difficulty communicating effectively.
Nonverbals – Smiling, frowning, furrowing one’s brow, looking down, shifting, closing the eyes, widening the eyes, crossing the arms, flaring the nostrils, gesturing with the hands, etc., etc., etc. There are so many weapons of non-verbal communication that speak volumes in some communication. These can change the entire meaning of what is said.
Personality – Your communication partner’s (and your) personality can play a significant role in communication. Some people are very logical and don’t often consider feelings important within communication. Pair this person with a strong feeler and it can get ugly quickly.
Life experience – This is what tripped up my friend and me. His experience with something was basically the opposite of my experience with the same thing. Our experiences so colored our opinion and understanding of what we were discussing that our communication almost broke down entirely. Only after understanding our different experiences did we understand each other and each other’s message.
What goes unsaid – Sometimes people can’t think of everything they want to say, are unwilling to share all of what they are thinking or feeling, or are downright devious in their communication. Understanding what is left unsaid is sometimes as important, if not moreso, as what is said.

There are probably many more obstacles to successful communication than these (Can you think of some?), but those are certainly five of the big ones. And, they are increasingly more important as our society relies more and more on written communication (email, txt, social media, etc.). And yet, we seem to be taking decreasing care with our communications. My suggestion?

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

When communication breaks down, take the time to calm down, meet face to face whenever possible, and patiently work for clear understanding and peaceful resolution. Focus on common ground and be gracious at all times. Praying for wisdom, discernment, understanding, and grace helps, too.

 

5 Life Lessons From Rocky

Attribution: Luigi Novi

It’s the American dream.

It’s the Cinderella Story.

It’s the underdog beating the odds.

It is one of our favorite story formulas. It just never gets old to see the triumph of the underdog.

I first saw the original Rocky movie when I was around 10 years old. I’ve seen it again since then, but not recently, until tonight. I was surprised. I always forget what a great story it is. Not only that, but I was struck by some great principles for life and leadership.

Here are my top five:

Unconditional Love – Rocky clearly should have knocked out his complete jerk of a friend, Paulie, on several occasions. But, he doesn’t. He continues to extend grace to Paulie and treat him with dignity. Paulie is constantly trying to sponge off of Rocky and ride his coattails, but Rocky puts up with him.
Persistence – Rocky is downright tenacious in his efforts to win the heart of Adrian, the shy pet shop clerk (also, Paulie’s sister). With his characteristic simple wisdom, Rocky says, “We fill gaps… I got gaps. She’s got gaps. Together we fill gaps.” Like they say, behind every great man is a great woman and a surprised mother-in-law.
Clarity – We all need a good dose of cold, hard truth sometimes. When Mickey, the tough, old boxing coach, tells Rocky that he could have been a great fighter, but instead he became a leg-breaker for a hoodlum, Rocky tries to rationalize it with, “It’s a livin’.” Mickey’s reply – “It’s a waste of life!” The stinging clarity of that statement hits Rocky harder than any punch could. Instead of knocking him out, though, this punch wakes him up to the truth of his situation and his worth as a man.
Strength – Like it or not, if you want to win in life, you have to learn to take a punch. As clichéd as it may seem, when you get knocked down, you have to be able to get back up and keep swinging. To be able to do that, you will need to do the hard work of training. The training montages in the Rocky movies are awe-inspiring.
Honor – The only time Rocky comes close to giving Paulie the beating he deserves is when he is defending Adrian’s honor. In addition, he treats everyone with honor and respect beyond what they have earned. He’s not perfect. For instance, he’s not above calling someone a bum, but he is quick to show respect and kindness to everyone, even the bums and the arrogant kids calling him names.

That’s it – my top five life lessons from Rocky. I feel like we should start a movie club (like a book club without the reading). We could watch the same movie and share our thoughts. What do you think? What movies would you suggest?

Do-Over, Anyone?

Have you ever had a day where you’d really like a do-over? I have. Today, as a matter of fact. The picture at the left is my car. It doesn’t always look like that. A split-second mistake made it look that way. Thankfully, the split-second didn’t last any longer or I wouldn’t have been able to minimize the damage. Again thankfully, no one was hurt. I couldn’t help thinking, though, how nice it would be to be able to go back to this morning and do this day over again. A do-over. The only problem is, would I do it any differently if given the chance? Or, would I be stuck reliving the same crappy day over and over, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day?

That thought, for some reason, reminded me of this verse:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

It’s not exactly a do-over, but it’s the closest we’re going to get. It’s nice to know that God is faithful even when I’m not. His compassions never fail. Mine fail all the time. His mercy is brand new every morning.  That’s good, because some days I don’t even make it through breakfast without needing a healthy dose of it.

So, after venting a little, I took some time to ponder what really happened today, and I realized how God protected me and the family in the other car. What do you know? – I didn’t even have to wait until morning for his mercy. This day could have been a lot worse.

Do you need a do-over today?

Teachable Moments or Missed Opportunities

Photo by Mike Baird, flickr.com/photos/mikebaird

There are opportunities coming my way, as a dad, that I hope I’m ready for. When my children need me to be strong, true, and right, I hope that I respond the right way. These are teachable moments, when our kids are learning right from wrong, what it means to be a man or woman, what God is like. We, as parents, need to be ready because we are teaching our children something. Our actions speak loudly and teach volumes.

I had a friend growing up whose dad was a pastor of a local church. He was also an avid “reader” of Playboy Magazine. He had stacks of them in his closet. They were in chronological order. My friend was very careful to make sure we didn’t get them out of order because he would get in trouble if his dad found out that he and his friends were looking at them. What was this dad teaching his son, not to mention the neighborhood boys?

If you are a dad with a son, he is going to get curious about girls/women at some point. He’s going to look to you, Dad, to see how men treat women. He may even ask if you’ll buy him a Playboy magazine. We need to be prepared so we’re not caught off guard and fumbling for an answer. “Son, that’s not what real men do. Part of our God-given role as men is to protect women, not treat them like toys. Other guys may look at that stuff, but you are better than that. We don’t do that. We honor God with our eyes and our minds as well as our words and actions. We treat women with honor and respect.”

I don’t want to miss the opportunity to have a teachable moment with any of my children. I know I won’t be perfect, but I’ve got to try my best, which means making sure that my integrity is intact. I need to be working to be the same person all week that I say I am on Sunday morning. Then, when the opportunity for a teachable moment presents itself, I will be prepared.

“This above all: to thine ownself be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

-         William Shakespeare

 

How To Handle Teenagers

“Face it. You’re a neo-maxi-zum-dweebie. What would you be doing if you weren’t out making yourself a better citizen?” – John Bender (character) in The Breakfast Club

At 41, I don’t pull out my copy of The Breakfast Club too often anymore, mostly because I realize how messed up all those kids were. Then I remember, I felt a lot like them. They were exaggerated, almost caricatured, versions of me and my friends. We all felt misunderstood, mistreated, and maligned.

Now that I’m a dad of one teenager and three more who will eventually be teenagers, I’m faced with the monumental challenge of helping them navigate the tumultuous and murky waters of the teenage years. It can be an exhilarating and fun time, but it can also be dark, depressing, and dangerous.

Now, I made it through my teen years with a few scars and broken hearts, but overall, I did pretty well. And, in reflecting on that experience, I have a few suggestions, based on what my parents did for me, to help us help our kids succeed in the teen years.

Love them. Love them. And, love them some more. We weren’t always very vocal with our love in my family, but I always knew my parents loved me. In the crazy time of the teen years, my parents were a stable and dependable source of love and encouragement.
Listen to them. I crack up at some of the things I blathered on about in the car with my mom sometimes. For a while after I got my driver’s license, I drove my mom to work so I could have the car. She listened to my endless ramblings about music, movies, religion, and whatever else was on my mind. And, she didn’t just listen. She was genuinely interested. I now know that she was interested in me. I think I knew it then, too.
Don’t try to be their buddy. My mom listened, so did my dad, but they didn’t get confused on their roles like so many parents do nowadays. If I was doing stupid, my dad let me know. I didn’t always listen, and I have the scars to prove it, but I always appreciated it. Well ok, I appreciate it now.

That’s what I’ve got so far, but I’m still in the early stages of parenting teenagers. What tips do you have for helping teens make it through those crazy years? How did you make it?