Rick Harsch's Blog, page 8

Letters from Uzbekistan: What Arslan Shared with Stalin

Both Josip Vissarionovich and Arslan Levantine hung reproductions of Ilya Repin’s Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mahmoud IV, which happened to be the favorite painting of both men.

The painting depicts the Cossacks of nearer Dnieper to a Turkish Sultan’s demand that they submit to him. They had a letter writing party to refuse as insultingly as possible, heading the letter:

‘O Sultan, Turkish devil and spawn of devil and family, asslicker of Lucifer . What devil kind of fighter are you, who but one who at best can slay a hedgehog with your naked ass? The devil excretes, and your army eats. Ne, you scrotum scruffer, you will not make subjects of real horesemen. We do not fear women. Oh, and you unholy goatfucker, Ivan says you can go fuck your mother, as he himself has.’

Letters from Uzbekistan: Something Bizarre about the New Tsar

 

Arslan’s letter read something like this: ‘Our national cuisine remains the same over centuries (his English is pretty good here),’ and went on suggestively to say as I decoded it: ‘Putin’s grandfather was Stalin’s chef, and before that Lenin’s chef, and before that Rasputin’s chef!’ What was Arslan trying to tell me? This was the closest he had come to commenting on his heritage, and why when I typed in ‘Rasputin eating’ was this the only photo that came up?

Naturally I checked the information–and it’s true! Putin’s grandfather cooked for the last tsar, Rasputin, Lenin, and Stalin. What was Arslan trying to tell me? Should I cancel my flight?

Letters from Uzbekistan: Aral Sea Tours

My friend and correspondent Arslan Levantinov made the best of a difficult assignment–to make of the Aral Sea disaster a tourist attraction–and he asked my help. Most of the article is his, but this clause is mine: ‘Trip to Aral Sea is one of those that enable each traveler to feel the human madness and miracles of nature…’ more or less. His editor cut it, but I think the subtle irony remains.
Aral Sea Tours

Aral Sea Tours and Travel Package

A full day excursion (a round trip of some 350 km) to Moynaq, former fishing community on the Aral Sea when water of the sea was at its normal old level. Here you will see the rusting remains of boats stuck in the sand where the sea used to be before its tragic shrinking in size. We offer Aral Sea tours with various travel options: short excursions, one day, multiple day tours and tours by air and by train.

Aral Sea Travel Tips

It is not so easy to get to the Aral Sea itself; it is a long and tough way through the desert. It is about 8 hours drive from Nukus to the Aral Sea.  The challenging complexity of the Tour by off-road 4×4 vehicles makes it more attractive not only for ecologists, geologists, oilmen and journalists, but also for adventure seeking tourists.

Trying to get to the Aral Sea there without any guidance would not be a wise thing to do, because there is no real road and no road signs.

Trip to Aral Sea is one of those that enable each traveler to feel the human madness and miracles of nature, see the human power in the architectural monuments of Karakalpakstan and its soul in the paintings kept in Savitsky Museum. The landscape Aral Sea is interesting, especially bearing in mind that you are walking on what used to be the bottom of the sea. There are sea shells all over the ground and dry sea plants. The places around are hilly and plain, as it is a desert place. But it is beautiful to see.

The dying Aral Sea with graveyard of abandoned ships, deserted settlements of fishermen, tombs of old Massaget tribes, over 1000 archaeological monuments and mirages in the steppe – these are what you see and experience with one of our Aral Sea Tour packages.

Letters from Uzbekistan: The Aral Assignment

Let this serve as an introduction to the next post. Arslan Levantinov of the Uzbekistani tourist bureau was given the assignment to make of the Aral disaster a tourist attraction. As he lives in Tashkent, of course, this seems to be a sign of the discontent of his superiors, but that may be an anachronistic Soviet era cryptological impulse of my own. The fact is, however, that I know that Mr. Levantinov has a great fear of travel and it is quite unlikely that he had the least desire to take on this project. What he fears more than travel, however, is getting burned–and a man in Tashkent certainly risks getting burned, at least by the son, at some point during the long journey to the Uzbeki wastes that were once the Aral sea. Yet he pulled off a masterpiece of travel bureau writing. The likelihood that he did so without leaving his apartment in Tashkent is neither here nor there, especially if there is Karakalpakstan, particularly the once coastal city of ‘Muynak’ (pardon my Cyrillophobia).

Letter from Uzbekistan: THE VANISHING ARAL SEA

About half of that sea is ‘in’ Uzbekistan, which gets the worst of the health hazards, as toxic dust from the former seabed mostly flies south to the province of Karakalpakstan.

The story of the Aral is rather simple. It was fed by the Syr Darya and the Amu Darya, both of which were siphoned from for irrigation extensively during the Soviet era, so that eventually no water at all from either river fed the sea. The balance of the Aral was precarious enough, fed rather weakly, evaporating at roughly the rate it was fed. But it was a great place for sturgeon and a number of other interesting sea creatures.

Soon we shall sea how a tourism functionary makes the best of this rather sad, seemingly uninviting region.

Letters from Uzbekistan

My curiosity incited by correspondence with the aforementioned Arslan Levantinov, he middling bureaucrat detained by fate in a country that boils its citizens alive at the same time he has a particular fear of being burnt that stems from a childhood accident at a stove, I thought I might start by checking Wikileaks–I know. it’s hard to take an organization with such a Lewis Carrolesque title seriously, yet what follows is a genuine document regarding tortures that include those Mr. Levantinov most fears:

(As will virtually all to do with Uzbekistan, comedy persists, here commencing with ‘The report includes recommendations to the government of Uzbekistan to end

torture, and urges the Uzbek government to:’

We must assume many a belly laugh at this point among the official readerrs of the document, imagining the fox baby-sitting the hen house instructed to be sure lights out and quiet by 7:30 p.m.)

Uzbekistan: Torture Endemic to Criminal Justice System

For Immediate Release

Uzbekistan: Torture Endemic to Criminal Justice System

UN Committee Should Press Tashkent to Publicly Condemn and End the Use of

Torture

(Geneva, November 7, 2007) – Uzbekistan’s government continues to allow

torture and ill-treatment in the criminal justice system without holding

perpetrators accountable, Human Rights Watch said in a report released

today.

Uzbekistan’s record is coming up for scrutiny before the United Nations

Committee Against Torture (CAT) on November 9, 2007. November also marks

the five-year anniversary of the visit to Uzbekistan by the UN Special

Rapporteur on torture, who concluded that torture in Uzbekistan was

“systematic.”

The 90-page report, “Nowhere to Turn: Torture and Ill-Treatment in

Uzbekistan,” documents widespread torture that goes largely unpunished.

The report finds that torture and ill-treatment are ignored and overlooked

by investigators, prosecutors, and judges, and generally hushed up by the

media and the government.

“Uzbekistan wants to make its multilateral partners believe that it has

put an end to torture,” said Holly Cartner, Human Rights Watch’s Europe

and Central Asia director. “But official statements simply don’t square

with reality.”

The report details the cycle of abuse that starts at the time of an

individual’s detention and continues through conviction or beyond to

compel confessions or other testimony. In cases documented by Human Rights

Watch, police agents manipulated and prevented detainees from having

access to counsel of their choice. They beat, kicked and threatened

detainees soon after they were first detained, when detainees are cut off

from access to third parties or avenues where they might seek redress.

Police and security agents abuse detainees and threaten witnesses,

detainees’ families, and sometimes even lawyers to deter them from

pursuing accountability.

“This is no marginal problem,” said Cartner. “The Committee Against

Torture needs to recognize that ill-treatment in Uzbekistan is endemic to

the criminal justice system and not just a problem caused by a handful of

rogues.”

While the Uzbek government has given examples of police held accountable

for torture, no one was held accountable in the cases documented by Human

Rights Watch. Judges did not investigate torture allegations that criminal

defendants made in court testimony, and instead alleged that the

defendants were lying or told them they should have filed a complaint

during the investigation. A 39-year old defendant in one of the trials

monitored by Human Rights Watch explained why he could not do this: “I

never had a confidential meeting with a lawyer. I know that the pressure

would have increased if I had complained. I am a human being. I am not

made of iron. Even animals scream when you beat them. I was scared. That

is why I did not complain.”

Common methods of torture and ill-treatment include beatings with

truncheons and bottles filled with water, electric shock, asphyxiation

with plastic bags and gas masks, sexual humiliation, and threats of

physical harm to relatives.

The report includes recommendations to the government of Uzbekistan to end

torture, and urges the Uzbek government to:

. Take immediate and concrete steps to comply with its obligations

under the Convention against Torture and other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading

Treatment or Punishment;

. Implement in full the February 2003 recommendations issued by the

UN Special Rapporteur on torture following his visit to Uzbekistan;

. Publicly acknowledge the scale of torture in Uzbekistan;

. Conduct a robust, nationwide investigation into the practice of

ill-treatment and torture;

. Declare what measures it will be taking to ensure the prohibition

on torture and other ill-treatment is fully enforced and respected in

practice;

. Make this information available and accessible to the local

population, through the media and other appropriate forums;

. Ensure that detainees are informed of their rights, that they have

access to confidential meetings with a lawyer of choice, and can

communicate unimpeded with their lawyer at trial; and,

. Hold perpetrators of torture and ill treatment accountable to the

full extent of the law and ensure that detainees can make complaints about

torture without fearing retribution.

The report also calls on the Committee Against Torture to make full use of

the opportunity provided by its review to express concern about the

continuing widespread use of torture in Uzbekistan, and to call on the

authorities at the highest level to publicly condemn the use of torture.

The committee should also emphasize the crucial role played by civil

society groups, independent media and international organizations in

efforts to combat torture and ill-treatment, and call on the government to

ensure that these actors are able to function freely and effectively in

Uzbekistan.

Human Rights Watch also called on the international community to support

the work of the UN’s anti-torture bodies by advancing the implementation

of their recommendations as part of their relations with the Uzbek

government.

“International actors should take a principled stance and make ending the

use of torture a key component of any dialogue with the government of

Uzbekistan,” said Cartner.

To view the Human Rights Watch report, “Nowhere to Turn: Torture and

Ill-treatment in Uzbekistan,” please visit:

http://hrw.org/reports/2007/uzbekistan1107/

For audio testimony by Uzbek citizens who were tortured in detention (with

English translation and voicing), please visit:

http://hrw.org/audio/2007/english/uzbekistan11/uzbeki17229.htm

For more information, please contact:

In Geneva, Andrea Berg (English, German, Russian): +44-163-760-9963

(mobile)

In Geneva, Veronika Szente Goldston (English, Finnish, Swedish, Hungarian,

French): +1-917-582-1271 (mobile)

O Trinkova

Chapter 26      O Trinkova

In English we would call you Ivan Trinko Street

But you deserve better.

We don’t want people asking us who you were, Mr. Trinko,

For even though you were a Roman Catholic priest, A poet, a writer, a philosopher, a translator, a

linguist, a critic, a composer–

Not to mention a painter–

When I asked a poet about you she said

‘It doesn’t matter.’

 

Maybe you did too much.

 

Let us look at the benighted beginning of your street:

 

I made the picture small as if I were your grandchild

And I loved you

Because where a triangle of freedom opened up on Gregorčičeva

Where you were interesting

Going two directions at once

Perhaps a poet flank past that little round sign

And a philosopher flank to the left that takes us down close to the sea

Where you had your opportunity they put a garbage kennel

You deserved better.

Down you go! Go, Ivan, go!

Unless you need to stop first to dump your garbage

Or hop on your motorcycle and come back up.

As you know, translators go both ways

And critics sometimes have to escape in haste

You might need to zip up to the church that is so near, just one short street behind the camera man

You never were a camera man, yet, still, Ivan, you deserved better.

 

 

Your opportunity to make your mark as a street poet in Izola

Is evident in the photo to my right

A surprise move                                                   

A different Trinko

Classic, decadent, historic, jaded

Exuding all the charm inherent in an old

Venezian city

Look how the building itself stumbles down

Your lane!

But is there an uglier building in the old town than that drek brown stump before you?

 No: wait! Have you tricked me, philosopher-poet?

Or are you a swine who would have a segment of Gramsci’s street

To make up for what is lacking in your own?

No, Ivan, you have no side street, you merely descend

Belatedly,

And rapidly,

Gracelessly,

You would have us pick up speed, only to zig, to zag, pick up more speed

And then run smack into a wall!

We deserved better.

            

            

 

 

Letters From Uzbekistan

 

I suppose it’s not unusual for people to be trapped in a context that keeps them in perpetual proximity to the realization of their fears, so let us not ‘grieve’ prematurely over the continuing (after all) life of, yes, here I can name him, Arslan Levantinov, who as a young child burned his hand on a stove in a fit of arch curiosity–it was the arching belly of the black coal burning stove that invited him to curl his hand in the most natural way and press the source of the intoxicating heat. This in itself is nothing until I add that this happened in Tashkent, in Uzbekistan, his home country, where he works for a government tourist agency, a minor functionary–in Uzbekistan, beloved of successive US governments for its peace and geologic fortunes, perhaps most of all for its endorrheics (never mind that for now, as there is much to say about it and I will get to it later, as will Mr. Levantinov in one of his letters, which include a joke of the type I really like, in which the reader is invited to contemplate rather be snared by a punch-line [“What is endorrhea?” he asks. “The combination of violent diarrhea with implacable constipation” {for now, my phrasing}])…In Uzbekistan; and no country, of course, is without its struggles, just as no country is without the native soups of their cuisines–here is the ugly payoff: in Uzbekistan, people are taken from the streets and put into large pots and boiled alive.

Our Arslan Levantinov, encavmaphobic (there should really be no name for a universal fear, but for Arslan the fear is apparently more agitating than for most), lives in fear of making some kind of error on his own part, or of some kind of mistake being made by the authorities, or fear of the authorities–here I think we nail the entire phenomenon well down–for no traceable reason putting a hood over his head (there are many names for this phobia; I think fear of fog, though, is most poetic and most accurate–homichlophobia [one hears a by now ancient German cry of terror: “Nein! Nein! Nicht der Nebel!” for what is need of night in such a fog?])–and, well, in need here of some quaint, using him as the first ingredient in a pot of the national soup.

Bonobos Flee Slovenia en Masse after Gay Marriage Referendum

Slovenia, which had the largest collection of bonobo monkeys in Europe until now was unprepared for the mass breakout from the Ljubljana and Škofija Loka zoos last night after the results of the gay marriage referendum came in at nearly 2 to 1 against, with over 60% of the population abstaining. The tollway was closed from 11 pm until 5 am as the 1000 plus apes gathered near Logatec for the group romp toward the border fence at Dragonja, which they scaled like so many wily Syrians. Although Croatian authorities had been alerted, they were unprepared to deal with the number, strength and diversionary strategies of these smartest and most sexually active of simians. A spokesman from Škofija Loka, the only man in Slovenia who speaks bonobo, said plans for an escape had been in the works for some time, as these omnisexual beasts feared that the logical next step was to prevent g-g rubbing (two female apes rubbing genitalia, a favorite bonobo practice, for females) in front of children, who, a bonobo spokesman pointed out, were never invited by them to watch. ‘When they brought us here they just said act natural, so we have been.’ Another bonobo practice that has had the church up in arms is that of greeting each other by fornicating. ‘What better way to say hello,’ the spokesape said, and the translator concurred. ‘When a bonobo says hello, you can be sure it’s sincere.’

One human gay couple, who wished to remain anonymous, were interviewed and expressed concern that two more places where gay people were welcome in Slovenia would now be shut down. ‘And now that the translator has been arrested on suspicion of bestiality, who knows what’s next?’

Officer Loyze Škrobnik of the highway patrol said that the apes were remarkable orderly, with few exceptions. ‘It struck me as a sort of planned panic. Most of them stuck to the center line and southbound, but groups of up to fifty or more were on the wrong side, many having been confused by the Postojna ‘crossroads’. ‘Anyway, from what I was told, they frequently tend to cross over.’ Few cars were damaged and no humans injured. But it was necessary to close the highway.

These shit tossers, beloved of children, the third greatest tourist attraction in Slovenia after Lake Bled and the killing squares of Celje, are unlikely to be persuaded to return. ‘Every last one is gone,’ the translator said, arms behind his back, handcuffed. ‘I was told that such a referendum in the past has always led to a resurgence of so-called family and church values, and even though Slovenes are called Catholic despite the fact that fewer than 10% actually follow Catholic practices, they were taking no chances.’ Some had been captured in Uganda, many volunteering to travel to what they thought was a free country.

Only a dozen of the apes is in custody in Croatia, at a holding pen in Pazin. They were caught in pairs, having stopped to fornicate or g-g rub (eight females and four males, according to our sources).

Church officials responded with a shrug. ‘Good riddance to bad rubbing. Now maybe our young people will keep their hands out of their pants until the church has had time to instil appropriate manners into them. That is, after marriage, and by marriage we mean one male and one female, unpregnant. If necessary, we will have representatives of the Bishopric of Salzburg come down here to straighten people out.’

Croatian and Slovene authorities working together have asked the public to keep an eye out for these ringleaders:

Conning the Emotions, part one

Can you get this monkey’s message?

What about this one? What is the polar bear conveying?

And this puppy?

If you get even one of these wrong, chances are you have been emoticonned.

More on this phenomenon soon.