Lisa Logue's Blog, page 5
December 3, 2017
Just Breathe
The hold is so tight I can barely breathe,
My chest is heavy and my knees are weak.
The thought train is racing at warp speed,
It can't stop, won't stop, or leave me be.
Hot or cold, I can't tell which one I am,
Shivers down my spine though my palms are sweaty.
My tiny voice unheard in the chaos,
All I want is five minutes of piece and quiet.
It's amazing how loud your own mind is,
Seems even louder when the rest of the world is quiet.
Anything, and I mean anything, to drown it out.
But as soon as I'm alone it's like I'm drowning.
The smile on my face is a courtesy,
No one wants to see what I really see.
Imagine your most horrible self in your reflection,
Now imagine that's how you see yourself daily.
It doesn't make sense aloud or in my head,
What's worse is when you know it can't stop.
Why can't I shut it off or turn it down or drown it out?
I just want to be alone inside my head.
I don't hear voices I just hear one,
I hear myself screaming about the shitty person I've become.
It tells me I've lied and cried and deserved pain,
It tells me I'm worthless and useless and should be ashamed.
But when it's done yelling it apologizes,
Kind of like the one who made me this way.
Shhh it'll be okay, I didn't mean it, I love you,
But waiting until the next time to really fuck you.
I mean, this isn't normal, but I know,
And I can't talk about it so I don't.
No one cares and if they do, they don't really,
Because as hard as it is for you, it's harder for me.
So just breathe and let it go,
Or try to and then hope for the best.
Because one day I'll wake up and won't feel this way,
Or at least that's what I'm supposed to say.
My chest is heavy and my knees are weak.
The thought train is racing at warp speed,
It can't stop, won't stop, or leave me be.
Hot or cold, I can't tell which one I am,
Shivers down my spine though my palms are sweaty.
My tiny voice unheard in the chaos,
All I want is five minutes of piece and quiet.
It's amazing how loud your own mind is,
Seems even louder when the rest of the world is quiet.
Anything, and I mean anything, to drown it out.
But as soon as I'm alone it's like I'm drowning.
The smile on my face is a courtesy,
No one wants to see what I really see.
Imagine your most horrible self in your reflection,
Now imagine that's how you see yourself daily.
It doesn't make sense aloud or in my head,
What's worse is when you know it can't stop.
Why can't I shut it off or turn it down or drown it out?
I just want to be alone inside my head.
I don't hear voices I just hear one,
I hear myself screaming about the shitty person I've become.
It tells me I've lied and cried and deserved pain,
It tells me I'm worthless and useless and should be ashamed.
But when it's done yelling it apologizes,
Kind of like the one who made me this way.
Shhh it'll be okay, I didn't mean it, I love you,
But waiting until the next time to really fuck you.
I mean, this isn't normal, but I know,
And I can't talk about it so I don't.
No one cares and if they do, they don't really,
Because as hard as it is for you, it's harder for me.
So just breathe and let it go,
Or try to and then hope for the best.
Because one day I'll wake up and won't feel this way,
Or at least that's what I'm supposed to say.
July 26, 2017
Anyone? Anyone?
Okay so this post is pretty much a rant, and I apologize in advance. I will also say that I am not writing this from simply a writer's perspective, but that of a reader's as well. So here goes....SYNOPSES/BLURBS
As a writer, I HATE having to summarize my story into the blurb/synopsis/summary that occupies the back of my books or the overview section on a website. All the time I spent carefully cultivating the scenes, and somehow I'm expected to condense all of that down into a paragraph or two?? Ugh. Yet no matter how much I hate it, it is one of the MOST IMPORTANT aspects of your book and let me tell you why...
As a reader, I don't just look for the pretty covers and catchy titles (everyone does it), I look for a gripping synopsis. I look for something that seems a bit original with some fire behind it. I look for something that sucks me in before I even crack open the pages. I look for that story that's going to make me forget my own name. In short, it needs to be well written and give just enough about the story to interest you, without giving away the house.
I've been perusing the "shelves" of both Kindle and Nook books and I'm coming across SO MANY less than impressive blurbs. I don't even want to give a book a chance if I'm not given anything to hold onto before it's even begun. How am I supposed to be interested in a story that's blurb has an internal monologue of Ben Stein?
I mean, come on, folks!I know, I sound harsh, and I'm sorry, but if you're in this business with the **dream** of having anyone purchase and enjoy your stories and worlds, you need to find a way to capture them! I'm not saying that ANY of my blurbs are perfect, because I'm not a perfect person, but their internal monologue is at the very least Moviefone Guy (did I just date myself?).
Anyway, the moral of the story is to think about what draws you into a book. Do you only read the blurb and decide or is there more? Do you not even look at the blurb (gasp!)? Whatever hooks you in, will likely hook in others as well. Make sure you present your best product to the world, with all the bells and whistles in your power, and you will be rewarded!!
'Til next time!
Lisa
xoxoxo
July 18, 2017
Busy AF
Bruh. When shit needs to happen, it happens for real! I mean, I went from being basically bedridden to running around from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. Sleep? Sleep is fleeting, but the five or so hours I get has to keep me fueled. Ugh...life.
So at the end of the day, I'm not much closer to having my next book finished and I'm super sorry and annoyed by it. Every time I sit down to write, I fall asleep. I mean, I have a seven month old, guys. He is just now starting to really sleep through the night and when my husband isn't waking me up for snoring, I'm in a constant state of semi-awakeness that leaves me feeling drained and in a foggy state of mind. Truly, I need a recharge button.
My oldest child is beginning his football season, which throws another crazy thing into the mix. I will have to go from work to the ball field for two hours and back home again to put all the kids to bed. Mind you, that occurs three days a week and since I live in Satan's asshole (aka Tennessee), the humidity often brings the heat index over 100 in July and August so I'm going to be a SUPER happy person! Honestly, I might bitch about it, but I'd do anything for my kids, including losing sleep and precious moments in air conditioning so long as it means they get to do something they love.
I'm going to set a goal, though. I am going to release two novellas before September. One is my shifter story and the other will be Blood Promise. I think if I take an hour a day, I can get it done. I think...maybe...don't hate me if it doesn't happen!
Anyway, I am off to finish my giant glass of wine and catch some much needed z's. Lord knows I need all the rest I can get because soon I will be sleeping on my feet! 'Til next time!!
Lisa
xoxoxo
So at the end of the day, I'm not much closer to having my next book finished and I'm super sorry and annoyed by it. Every time I sit down to write, I fall asleep. I mean, I have a seven month old, guys. He is just now starting to really sleep through the night and when my husband isn't waking me up for snoring, I'm in a constant state of semi-awakeness that leaves me feeling drained and in a foggy state of mind. Truly, I need a recharge button.
My oldest child is beginning his football season, which throws another crazy thing into the mix. I will have to go from work to the ball field for two hours and back home again to put all the kids to bed. Mind you, that occurs three days a week and since I live in Satan's asshole (aka Tennessee), the humidity often brings the heat index over 100 in July and August so I'm going to be a SUPER happy person! Honestly, I might bitch about it, but I'd do anything for my kids, including losing sleep and precious moments in air conditioning so long as it means they get to do something they love.
I'm going to set a goal, though. I am going to release two novellas before September. One is my shifter story and the other will be Blood Promise. I think if I take an hour a day, I can get it done. I think...maybe...don't hate me if it doesn't happen!
Anyway, I am off to finish my giant glass of wine and catch some much needed z's. Lord knows I need all the rest I can get because soon I will be sleeping on my feet! 'Til next time!!
Lisa
xoxoxo
June 30, 2017
Hate the game
There has been a lot of buzz among the indie publishing community about authors who are deciding to no longer publish because of how hard it is to break through. While I understand this sentiment, if that's the only reason why you're writing, then maybe you shouldn't publish anymore.
I don't write with the intention of selling millions of books, although that would be my dream and has been since I was a young girl. I write because I have stories to tell and characters who deserve voices and because I love it. It is my craft. It is my therapy. It is one of the only things I have to actually call my own in this world. Why should I let the opinion of others diminish that for me?
Look, I am by no means faulting these authors. This is a tough business. The people in this industry are brutal. If you are original, no one wants to take a chance. If you are too similar, you will be considered a hack. The majority of the successful authors fall somewhere in the middle and I'm not too sure how much of that is by chance rather than choice. Sometimes people do what they must to survive and likely, this is the case with many authors in the world now.
Would I love to be a best selling author and have movies or TV shows made about the characters and worlds I create? You bet your ass I would, but just because it's not happening, that doesn't mean I need to give up on something I love and has been such a huge part of my life. I may not have a gift. I may be a talentless fool. But at the end of the day, if I'm doing what I love, what does it matter?
The bottom line: if you truly are in love with what you do, you won't be able to stop because nothing will feel right if you do. If sales matter more to you than your craft, it might be time to take a break and reevaluate why you started in the first place. Never let anyone take away something you love.
Lisa
xoxoxo
I don't write with the intention of selling millions of books, although that would be my dream and has been since I was a young girl. I write because I have stories to tell and characters who deserve voices and because I love it. It is my craft. It is my therapy. It is one of the only things I have to actually call my own in this world. Why should I let the opinion of others diminish that for me?
Look, I am by no means faulting these authors. This is a tough business. The people in this industry are brutal. If you are original, no one wants to take a chance. If you are too similar, you will be considered a hack. The majority of the successful authors fall somewhere in the middle and I'm not too sure how much of that is by chance rather than choice. Sometimes people do what they must to survive and likely, this is the case with many authors in the world now.
Would I love to be a best selling author and have movies or TV shows made about the characters and worlds I create? You bet your ass I would, but just because it's not happening, that doesn't mean I need to give up on something I love and has been such a huge part of my life. I may not have a gift. I may be a talentless fool. But at the end of the day, if I'm doing what I love, what does it matter?
The bottom line: if you truly are in love with what you do, you won't be able to stop because nothing will feel right if you do. If sales matter more to you than your craft, it might be time to take a break and reevaluate why you started in the first place. Never let anyone take away something you love.
Lisa
xoxoxo
June 21, 2017
Where'd you go? I miss you so...
Sorry I've been kind of ghosting everyone for the last week or so. There've been some big personal changes going on that has kept much of my attention. Not to mention that I now think I'm getting sick, due to the fact that my whole body feels like it's underwater and I've got some pretty bad headaches (not yet turned migraines) going on - blegh.
I thought about doing a short story recently, but I'm honestly not sure to start. I don't even know if people read short stories?? I'm thinking I may do some on my Wattpad since I haven't used it in AGES. Do people still read on there? I'M SO OUT OF TOUCH!!
Anyway, I plan to try to use Facebook Live a bit more often (once I am no longer sick). I guess we'll see if anyone watches!!
'Till next time!
Lisa
xoxoxo
I thought about doing a short story recently, but I'm honestly not sure to start. I don't even know if people read short stories?? I'm thinking I may do some on my Wattpad since I haven't used it in AGES. Do people still read on there? I'M SO OUT OF TOUCH!!
Anyway, I plan to try to use Facebook Live a bit more often (once I am no longer sick). I guess we'll see if anyone watches!!
'Till next time!
Lisa
xoxoxo
June 9, 2017
What's love got to do, got to do with it
So the hubby's birthday is Sunday and I decided to have a giveaway weekend in his honor!! I know that seems silly, but I was in the spirit of giving, so.... 
June 7, 2017
Let's talk about sex, baby...
What makes your heart race? What makes your legs weak?
What makes your palms sweat?
What makes your stomach feel like it's full of butterflies?
A convincing romance answers these questions, or at least challenges them. Not all love stories are "love at first sight" or "a universal love". I actually prefer the kind that makes the characters experience real issues that couples often face. No relationship is perfect. Falling in love is the easy part, but choosing to continue to love is where you have to put the work in. There isn't any justice given to love and relationships if the nuances are ignored.
Even when writing fantasy or sci-fi, faking the love story is very noticeable. The characters aren't relateable and the story suffers because the story just isn't believable. You can create a new world without the romance, but if you add the romance, at least make it seem real.
That being said, the love scenes in my books are not catered to my readers, sorry to say. Those love scenes are catered to the characters and how they react to one another. Two characters who are deeply in love may have a passionate encounter while two who are acquaintances may not. The chemistry is the biggest factor that sets the tone for the scene. I can definitely say that the sex isn't gratuitous, either. If the characters in my story are having sex, it's because they are either coming to a romantic milestone or progressing their intimacy.
RULE OF THUMB - if the sex doesn't progress the story, you don't need it.
Anyway, I hope I've made you think. Comment below if you have anything to add!
-Lisa
xoxoxoxo
June 5, 2017
Go with what you know...
Many years ago, I had stopped reading and writing altogether. I had been in a bad situation and it left me in a pretty bad place in life. Without going into too much detail, I was a newly single mother of a toddler and infant and had no idea what to do with my life. Depression wasn't quite the word for what I experienced. In the years following up to this event, reading and writing wasn't enjoyable. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and had nearly given up my passion. It wasn't until after my devastation that I decided to pick up a book to see if I could escape from my crumbling reality. I had forgotten what it felt like to be whisked away into the world between the pages and live inside of them. Shockingly, the first books I came back to were...... 
That's right, it was Twilight.
Now let me preface this WHOLE THING by telling you that I HATE bandwagon anything; movies, books, tv shows - doesn't matter. I didn't read Twilight before the first movie (which I actually watched online at work one day), and prior to the first movie I'd actually never heard of it.
So I watched the first movie online, thought it was so-so, and decided to give the book a try since I know books are typically better. While the writing wasn't phenomenal, the book was LEAPS and BOUNDS better than the movie and I found myself absorbed in it enough that I read all of the books in the series within about six days. Yes, you read that right - SIX DAYS!!
It wasn't Twilight that inspired Legacy of Secrets. It isn't fanfiction or based off of the characters. Rather it's the fuel added to the already smoldering fire that forced me to pick it all back up again.
You see, before all of this, I was quite literally numb inside. I had shut myself down emotionally because of what was occurring in my reality and I spent my days just going through the motions. I acted the part, but was utterly broken. But after picking up that first book and diving into that world, I began to feel again. I began to deal with the emotions that I had been too scared to experience because of how painful they were. My life was not pretty, but I was dealing.
New Moon was exceptionally difficult to read because of the abandonment issues I was dealing with, but it was also very therapeutic because I had an outlet. It's hard to not to see yourself in a character when you've literally been living the same existence. Uncanny, ain't it?
Fast forward, I honestly disliked the whole baby idea. I don't feel like Edward and Bella were able to be together without having to immediately deal with the parenthood aspect (which I should know about considering I've been one since I was 18). Not to mention it makes little to no sense that if a vampire woman doesn't have a living womb that a vampire man wouldn't have living sperm, but whatever. I still enjoyed the story, I just wish it had been done a bit differently near the end.
SO....after ALL that, I was inspired to finish writing my stories and reading more books. At one time, I was carrying 3-5 books with me that were at least 400-600 pages each. I am a very fast reader and always needed a back up (before having any ereaders). Cursed Secrets was finished not long after and thus began my journey.
Now, 5 books and many years later, I'm working on the last installments of LoS and at yet another standstill. Having my baby last year has put me in a bit of a rut, probably due to the lack of sleep! I've been trying to write whenever the feeling strikes, but I wouldn't get far before my mind would wander or complete cut me off. The writer's mind is a bitch!
Today, for shits and giggles, I decided to stream Twilight while I worked because I wanted to watch something other than Family Guy or Futurama (which are both on Netflix and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND). I hadn't expected to still identify with the story and relate to it as I had years ago and I certainly hadn't expected to gain any inspiration, but I found myself remembering those feelings I'd gotten when I first watched the movies and read the books and I was recharged.
Not ten minutes later, I was tapping away at Blood Promise with a good direction. Who would have thought that watching a C grade movie (be honest with yourself, it wasn't great) would do so much! I love the series for the story the books tell and the journey the characters take, not the movies and subpar acting aside from the very last movie - that one was done very well all around.
The point of this whole this was to say this - - Go with what what you know and what works. It's been very easy for me to make excuses because I wasn't looking for inspiration is the right places. I would have random thoughts pass through my mind for days, but never have the energy to put it to paper. I should have just picked up a book or movie SOO much sooner!
To be clear, I don't think it would have necessarily mattered if I had watched/read Twilight or any other story in a similar genre. I would have gotten the same basic fundamentals due to the aspects of the genre, but I can't say that this story doesn't occupy a special place in my mind. It may be cliche and it may sound stupid, but the themes of this story truly did help me work through my real life problems and I will forever be grateful.
So in conclusion, I need to take my newly rejuvenated inspiration and write my ass off!!
'Till next time!!!
Lisa
xoxoxo
GET LOS HERE
That's right, it was Twilight. Now let me preface this WHOLE THING by telling you that I HATE bandwagon anything; movies, books, tv shows - doesn't matter. I didn't read Twilight before the first movie (which I actually watched online at work one day), and prior to the first movie I'd actually never heard of it.
So I watched the first movie online, thought it was so-so, and decided to give the book a try since I know books are typically better. While the writing wasn't phenomenal, the book was LEAPS and BOUNDS better than the movie and I found myself absorbed in it enough that I read all of the books in the series within about six days. Yes, you read that right - SIX DAYS!!
It wasn't Twilight that inspired Legacy of Secrets. It isn't fanfiction or based off of the characters. Rather it's the fuel added to the already smoldering fire that forced me to pick it all back up again.
You see, before all of this, I was quite literally numb inside. I had shut myself down emotionally because of what was occurring in my reality and I spent my days just going through the motions. I acted the part, but was utterly broken. But after picking up that first book and diving into that world, I began to feel again. I began to deal with the emotions that I had been too scared to experience because of how painful they were. My life was not pretty, but I was dealing.
New Moon was exceptionally difficult to read because of the abandonment issues I was dealing with, but it was also very therapeutic because I had an outlet. It's hard to not to see yourself in a character when you've literally been living the same existence. Uncanny, ain't it?
Fast forward, I honestly disliked the whole baby idea. I don't feel like Edward and Bella were able to be together without having to immediately deal with the parenthood aspect (which I should know about considering I've been one since I was 18). Not to mention it makes little to no sense that if a vampire woman doesn't have a living womb that a vampire man wouldn't have living sperm, but whatever. I still enjoyed the story, I just wish it had been done a bit differently near the end.
SO....after ALL that, I was inspired to finish writing my stories and reading more books. At one time, I was carrying 3-5 books with me that were at least 400-600 pages each. I am a very fast reader and always needed a back up (before having any ereaders). Cursed Secrets was finished not long after and thus began my journey.
Now, 5 books and many years later, I'm working on the last installments of LoS and at yet another standstill. Having my baby last year has put me in a bit of a rut, probably due to the lack of sleep! I've been trying to write whenever the feeling strikes, but I wouldn't get far before my mind would wander or complete cut me off. The writer's mind is a bitch!
Today, for shits and giggles, I decided to stream Twilight while I worked because I wanted to watch something other than Family Guy or Futurama (which are both on Netflix and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND). I hadn't expected to still identify with the story and relate to it as I had years ago and I certainly hadn't expected to gain any inspiration, but I found myself remembering those feelings I'd gotten when I first watched the movies and read the books and I was recharged.
Not ten minutes later, I was tapping away at Blood Promise with a good direction. Who would have thought that watching a C grade movie (be honest with yourself, it wasn't great) would do so much! I love the series for the story the books tell and the journey the characters take, not the movies and subpar acting aside from the very last movie - that one was done very well all around.
The point of this whole this was to say this - - Go with what what you know and what works. It's been very easy for me to make excuses because I wasn't looking for inspiration is the right places. I would have random thoughts pass through my mind for days, but never have the energy to put it to paper. I should have just picked up a book or movie SOO much sooner!
To be clear, I don't think it would have necessarily mattered if I had watched/read Twilight or any other story in a similar genre. I would have gotten the same basic fundamentals due to the aspects of the genre, but I can't say that this story doesn't occupy a special place in my mind. It may be cliche and it may sound stupid, but the themes of this story truly did help me work through my real life problems and I will forever be grateful.
So in conclusion, I need to take my newly rejuvenated inspiration and write my ass off!!
'Till next time!!!
Lisa
xoxoxo
GET LOS HERE
June 1, 2017
Writing...or something like it
It's no secret I've been struggling with getting the remaining books of Legacy of Secrets finished. After having my baby back in December, I've been struggling with my time in general. Life literally changed over night! So now, I'm in a rut of sorts, trying to get my mind working again. Characters are screaming at me all day, but so far, I haven't been able to get anything done.
I wish I had a little leprechaun that could pop out of my ear and write all the words floating around in my head. I wish I had more of me to be able to do everything I want without sacrificing the time with my family. I WISH, I WISH, I WISH!!!
Currently, I'm on the prowl for a PA (personal assistant) who is proficient online and in the community, but that doesn't change an arm and a leg. Paying hundreds of dollars a month just isn't feasible right now. I'm also looking for some beta readers and possible an author to co-write a book with in the future. Lastly, I am always in the market for a screenwriter to write and pitch my books to companies like Netflix (wishful thinking, I know).
If you are or know anyone who falls into these categories, send me a message!! I'd love to see what's out there for me!
'Till next time!
xoxoxo
Lisa
I wish I had a little leprechaun that could pop out of my ear and write all the words floating around in my head. I wish I had more of me to be able to do everything I want without sacrificing the time with my family. I WISH, I WISH, I WISH!!!
Currently, I'm on the prowl for a PA (personal assistant) who is proficient online and in the community, but that doesn't change an arm and a leg. Paying hundreds of dollars a month just isn't feasible right now. I'm also looking for some beta readers and possible an author to co-write a book with in the future. Lastly, I am always in the market for a screenwriter to write and pitch my books to companies like Netflix (wishful thinking, I know).
If you are or know anyone who falls into these categories, send me a message!! I'd love to see what's out there for me!
'Till next time!
xoxoxo
Lisa
May 18, 2017
Choices...
Life is full of crossroads.
Some of us look for pros and cons before making a decision and some of us just go with our gut. What holds true to all of us is that often these choices have us facing things in life we hadn't expected. While, at the time, we might be struggling or feeling as if we can't push on, we are learning a lesson desperately needed to put us on the necessary path.
I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I believe the universe puts us on certain paths to learn certain things as a means to understand our existence and share our knowledge with others. We are here to learn and grow and make those who come after us wiser by sharing the knowledge of the universe.
As a writer, I often pour my emotions into my work as well as life experiences, to a degree. I haven't experienced everything my characters have, mostly because I don't live in an actual fantasy world (how I wish!), but I can empathize with how they may react in certain situations.
So why the post? I'm coming to a crossroads, myself. How do I choose which way to go? Do I need to abandon something I love for something necessary? Is there a way to keep everything in my life? Is this one of those times that the lesson means more than the thing I'm giving up?
How do I choose when it's all important to me in one way or another? Deep down, I think I know what my decision needs to be, but I still want to be sure that I'm making the right choice. I've come to the apex of things and will need to make a choice soon, but I don't quite know what I should choose.
How do you make important choices? What do you weigh when deciding things?
xoxoxo
-Lisa
Some of us look for pros and cons before making a decision and some of us just go with our gut. What holds true to all of us is that often these choices have us facing things in life we hadn't expected. While, at the time, we might be struggling or feeling as if we can't push on, we are learning a lesson desperately needed to put us on the necessary path.
I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I believe the universe puts us on certain paths to learn certain things as a means to understand our existence and share our knowledge with others. We are here to learn and grow and make those who come after us wiser by sharing the knowledge of the universe.
As a writer, I often pour my emotions into my work as well as life experiences, to a degree. I haven't experienced everything my characters have, mostly because I don't live in an actual fantasy world (how I wish!), but I can empathize with how they may react in certain situations.
So why the post? I'm coming to a crossroads, myself. How do I choose which way to go? Do I need to abandon something I love for something necessary? Is there a way to keep everything in my life? Is this one of those times that the lesson means more than the thing I'm giving up?
How do I choose when it's all important to me in one way or another? Deep down, I think I know what my decision needs to be, but I still want to be sure that I'm making the right choice. I've come to the apex of things and will need to make a choice soon, but I don't quite know what I should choose.
How do you make important choices? What do you weigh when deciding things?
xoxoxo
-Lisa
