Melissa Snark's Blog: The Snarkology, page 104

The Curse of Competence

Into every family's generation there is born a geek with the smarts and the know-how to fix most broken and/or malfunctioning technology. These poor schmucks possess with a knack for repairing what baffles the rest of computer-illiterate humanity. Scott Adams calls this condition The Curse of Competence. The rest of us call them easy marks.

Mr. Snark is cursed with competence.

A Girl's Gotta Have Standards

The first time Mrs. Snark decided to marry, she chose a man with enough computer savvy to maintain a home network and repair the (then) endless number of issues associated with Microsoft products. The first Mr. Snark was a software engineer with a secondary specialization in electrical systems. (But he sucked at plumbing.)

Time passed. Stuff happened. Mr. Snark became the ex-Mr. Snark.

In 2007, Mrs. Snark decided to resume dating. She met the future-Mr. Snark as a barbeque hosted by the ex-Mr. Snark. Future-Mr. Snark and Ex-Mr. Snark worked together.

From the way future-Mr. Snark's eyes lit up like those of a horny ferret, Mrs. Snark knew him to be a man on the make, so she  promptly gave him the wrong phone number. He proved his ability to overcome obstacles by Googling Mrs. Snark's Amazon account and sending her an email.

Mrs. Snark called her ex- for references: "Who is this John fellow?"
Ex-husband: "John is a great guy!"
Mrs. Snark: "Yes, yes, but is he competent?"

The ex-husband provided a glowing recommendation, but of course, failed to mention that John was his supervisor, which led to some awkwardness later.

Grandma and Grandpa Snark approved of Mr. Snark.
Grandpa Snark: "He's oddly articulate for an engineer."
Grandma Snark: "Yes, but is he competent?"

A year later, Mr. and Mrs. Snark married. And Mrs. Snark gained the ability to claim (truthfully): "I only marry software engineers." 

Of course, there were tradeoffs. The new Mr. Snark model is even more highly competent than the ex. And far more verbally adept. However, Mr. Snark sets electrical fires whenever he comes within ten feet of wiring. And some things have not changed. (He sucks at plumbing.)

Mothers Are Not Cursed With Competence

It may be a coincidence, but Mrs. Snark has yet to meet anyone over the age of fifteen who has said: "My mother is a technological whiz. Whenever I have a problem, I call mom for help. She can fix anything."

Nothing reduces Mr. Snark to tears faster than a phone conversation with his mother. Periodically, she calls him for various computer related woes. While Mr. Snark's mother relates her issue, Mr. Snark grits his teeth. A vein throbs in his temple and his blood pressure shoots through the roof. But he listens patiently and diagnoses her issues with  exemplary patience.

Mr. Snark's Mother: "My computer won't turn on."

An exhaustive diagnostic ensued. Power buttons were depressed repeatedly. Power cords evaluated for connection with the electrical socket. Eventually, the evaluation revealed the power strip button was set to the off-position.

Solution: Flip the switch.
Problem: Solved. Ticket closed.

Mrs. Snark's mother isn't better. If anything, Grandma Snark is worse. Thirty years after the date AOL was founded, she still doesn't have an email address.

Of course, one has to wonder how it is mothers seem to grow increasingly incompetent as time passes. Well, Mrs. Snark has been a mother for fourteen years now, and she thinks she's figured out the answer--it is feigned. In some cases, it is a ploy to discourage older children from moving back home and in others it is a way of ensuring you're not bothered.

The oldest Snark boy only pokes his head out of his cave when the wireless network goes down, thus cutting off his access to the internet.

He clanks out of his room and makes a beeline for the office. "Mom! The internet is down!"

"Sorry," Mrs. Snark says. "I'm sure they'll have it back up by tomorrow."

The Boy looks at his mother with disdain. "You need to reset the router."

"Sorry, dear. I don't know how to do that. You'll have to wait until Mr. Snark comes home."

 

I'm guest blogging today for the first day of my Hunger Moon book tour over on Literal Hotties Naughty Books Reviews.

Please drop by to read another awesome post by ME!

Giveaways!
 
I'm hosting a giveaway for the following prizes:
(Paperbacks are limited to continental United States delivery)
2 signed paperback copies of Hunger Moon2 $5 Amazon Gift Cards
a Rafflecopter giveaway



Giveaway #2:
(2) $25 Amazon Gift Cards a Rafflecopter giveaway

State of the Snarkology

Writing news:

My first blog tour with Goddess Fish is scheduled to kick off tomorrow, September 9th. I'm kicking off today with a party over at the Goddess Fish Party Pavilion.  Please drop by and toss me a comment!Virtual Book Tour:
September 9:  Literal Hotties Naughty Books Reviews
September 10:  Andi's Book Reviews
September 11:  The Dan O'Brien Project
September 12:  Crazy Four Books
September 13:  Susana's Parlour
September 16:  Musings and Ramblings
September 17:  Lisa Haselton's Reviews and Interviews
September 18:  Straight from the Library
September 19:  Fantasy Powered by Love
September 20:  Danita Minnis
September 20: Paranormal and Romantic Suspense Reviews

Review Tour:
September 23:  The Crafty Cauldron
September 24: The Simple Things in Life
September 25:  Dalene's Book Reviews
September 26:  Wicked Readings by Tawania
September 27:  Reader Girls

Blog News. This week my blog guests include paranormal author Lisa Ryans and YA author Teri Thackston. I'll be reviewing "Curse of the Egyptian Goddess" and "Never Pick on a Jaguar Princess". Be sure to drop by!

Finally, your reward for reading this far.

GIVEAWAY!


I'm hosting a giveaway for the following prizes:
(Paperbacks are limited to continental United States delivery)
2 signed paperback copies of Hunger Moon 2 $5 Amazon Gift Cards
 a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tmonique Stephen's EVERLASTING Blog Tour

ETERNITY
Descendants  of Ra, #1
Cursed for 2000 years, Roman Nicolis has tracked his lovers’ soul through each reincarnation only to lose her horribly every time. Reclaiming their love is his only salvation. He’s been her friend, her father, her neighbor, but never again her lover . . . until now.
A late night walk home throws Stella Walker into the path of a killer. The last thing she remembers are the deep blue eyes of the man trying to kill her—and the first things she sees after a seven day coma are the same blue eyes in the handsome face of the man hired to protect her. Is he truly the owner of a security firm or the man who wants to finish her off? Is it fears she feels when Roman touches her or the memory of something sweeter?
Past secrets haunt them. An angry demon stalks them. 
Roman will do anything to recover what they once had. Though Stella’s ruined childhood has made her close her heart and body to any man, he must get past the walls around her to gain her love and trust, for it will take their union to defeat an unexpected enemy sent from the Egyptian Gods. A man Romans respects, and Stella trusts.
TWO HEARTS.ONE SOUL. FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Buy Links: Amazon Barnes & Noble
EVERLASTINGDescendants  of Ra, #2
Kill the beast. Save your brother.Win your freedom.No problem.Falling in love with the cop trying arrest you?Problem.
To save his twin from death, Reign Nicolis will have to bargain with Goddess of the Dead, and once more become what he despises, El Mortem, The Scourge, a killer trained to show mercy to none. But he is haunted by those who have fallen beneath his blade. Their ghostly shapes dog his footsteps, relentless in their torture to make him suffer for what he was put on this earth to do two thousand years ago. Saving his twin ensures Reign’s enslavement to the Goddess. She may own his body, but never his heart. 
Detective Alexis Lever’s career is in shambles. Her only chance at redemption is to discover what happened to the body of Daniel Nicolis. To do that she’ll have to thwart two men: Reign Nicolis and Roman Nicolis. Both belong in jail. But one has stolen her heart. 

Excerpt:

Trailing behind the police car, Alexis couldn’t keep her gaze off the back of his head and broad shoulders. Every single thing about him embodied the fantasy lover she’d created, then forgotten and remembered again just days ago. She had dreamed of his naked body covering hers, wrapping her legs around him, and begging him to take her.
Somehow, he shifted his big body around and stared at her from the caged back seat, as if he knew where her thoughts strayed. A shiver raced down her spine. Heat pooled low in her groin and released in a whiplash of pleasure. She clenched the wheel with suddenly sweaty palms and tried to hold onto the tendril, all the while his gaze remained locked on hers. “Thank God,” she sighed when they pulled into the police station parking lot.
It seemed the entire police station had stopped to stare at the new arrival. She couldn’t fault the women for gawking or the men for unconsciously touching their weapons. Immense and overwhelming, he stood at least six foot eight with shoulders as wide as a linebacker with the pads. Black cotton stretched tight over massive shoulders and molded to perfect pecs and brick abs. Even stretched behind his back, his biceps bulged. When contracted, they’d probably peak like mini Mount Everest. His eyes, electric blue, peered through his shaggy midnight hair, watching her approach.
Palpable menace seeped from his pores, polluted the air, and set everyone’s nerves on edge. The man was a killer. He wouldn’t wax poetic like a comic book villain. No, he’d kill you and move on to the next combatant before your body hit the ground.
Her heart suddenly ached. The embodiment of the man she dreamed about most of her life now stood before her and he was probably a criminal. And for some weird reason, she cared. Her life had plopped into the crapper yet she cared about a criminal she had met fifteen minutes ago. Then he pivoted that body so she got a full frontal and whipped his hair back with a snap of his neck. Alexis sucked in a sharp breath. That face. There was nothing pretty about him or even handsome. He demolished her senses like a freight train smashing into a two seater. He was almost too much to look at, yet she couldn’t turn away. She didn’t dare.
Exhaling slowly, Alexis didn’t back down from his stare. His eyes seem to deepen into dark drowning pools when she approached. His hard, lean face softened and an increment of his fury abated, lessening the overall testosterone level in the room.
“No ID and he won’t tell us his name,” Paul’s partner told the desk sergeant.
Her prisoner’s—that’s how she thought of him—lips curled slightly in a mockery of a smile. “Reign,” he said.
Oh, shit. She had to lean against a wall. His rough voice kicked off a pulse deep in her groin making her imagine something else rough and deep.

Buy Links: Amazon
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tmonique Stephens wrote her first novel about a reporter and a hockey player after the U.S. hockey team won gold in the 1980 Olympics. She loves writing flawed characters who reflect the emotional baggage we all carry. She writes complicated stories for complicated people. Paranormal romances and fantasy novels are her favorite genre. She will read anything about fairies, demons, or angels.  She also enjoys Stephen King and Dean Koontz.She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing from City College of New York where she won an English Department Award for her play Tea with Salt in 1987. She was born in St. Thomas USVI, but she grew up in The Bronx, New York one mile from Yankee Stadium. She loves SyFy and the History channels, and Asian cuisine. But her heart and stomach longs for anything from the Caribbean.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TmoniqueStephensTwitter: https://twitter.com/TmoniquebooksPinterest: http://pinterest.com/tmoniquestephen/Email: Tmoniquebooks@gmail.com
GIVEAWAY DETAILS:Tmonique is giving away FIVE copies of EVERLASTING at the end of her tour:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nick Kelly's CATWALK: MESSIAH #Giveaway #Excerpt @Nick_Kelly

I have a confession.
I would have had this blog written over an hour ago, but I started reading all the material on here, and I got totally sidetracked. Let’s be real. Snarkology is one sexy site.
Why thank you, Nick! :-)
I’m Nick Kelly, author of the Leon “Catwalk” Caliber series, the first of which was just released on July 29th. Cat’s a little different than some of the blog post neighbors on here. He’s not a werewolf or a vampire (and I refuse to admit (or not to admit) if those beings will make their appearance later in the series)). He’s an ex-cop whose legs and spine are cybernetic enhancements, allowing him to spring faster than most cars and jump an eighteen wheeler if the case calls for it. Sounds fantastic, right?
The problem is that the more cybernetic a person becomes, the less human they are. Rage, sadism, schizophrenia and psychosis are all symptoms of reported cases. Not a problem when you can manage how much cyberware you choose to adopt. Cat, however, didn’t get that choice. Cat was an orphan, stuck in a wheelchair, never to walk again. The police came calling with an offer. They had technology that could allow him to walk, run, and once again be a fully functional human being…for a price.
Catwalk (from 2001’s “Independent Voices 3” by Peregrine Entertainment“Catwalk: Messiah” is the first novel in the series. It pits our anti-hero, the killer with a conscience, after his cop years, roaming the slums of future Los Angeles in 2033. He simply wants to take the odd job, drink himself to sleep, and be left the hell alone. When a religious fanatic begins creating cyborg versions of the Four Horsemen, the whole city is at risk. Cat is forced to use his technological enhancements, and some unlikely allies, to save the city, close the case, and get the girl.
Catwalk circa 2013


Catwalk has been a fun character to write. He’s got the sarcasm (dare I say “snarkiness?”) of Spider-Man, trapped in a tech-enhanced body like Iron Man, covering the beat of future dystopia (think Harrison Ford’s 1982 film, “Blade Runner.”) Sure, it’s a dangerous case, but I think readers will like the mix of humor and violence, and find a new kind of John Doe they can root for.Pick up the eBook at Amazon, register for our 10 book giveaway over on Goodreads, and grab the original Catwalk comic (Free for five days only!).
One Love,
NK
Catwalk: Messiah
Leon “Catwalk” Caliber SeriesBook OneNick Kelly
Genre: Sci-Fi
ISBN: 978-0-9852837-5-9
Number of pages: 249Word Count: 70,266
Cover Artist: Heidi Sutherlin

Buy Links:
Amazon
Book Description:        
Nitro City, 2033.
Leon "Catwalk" Caliber left his cop job in DC behind, heading to the City of Angels to earn a living off the grid. He took a few odd jobs that called for his particular skill set – extortion, espionage, and the occasional hit – and managed to carve out a niche for himself among the Downtown dwellers.
All the changed when a new breed of MetaHuman cyborg appeared on the streets with explosive violence. Cat’s quiet existence is sent into turmoil when he finds himself right in the crosshairs. He must evade the assassin squads sent by a vengeful pimp, uncover the origin of these mysterious new mechs, and keep the cops off of his tail. Simple enough, except that the cybernetic technology that powers his body threatens to sever his humanity at any moment. Can the killer with a conscience find a cure, solve the case, get the girl, and live to see another day?
Excerpt:

“Okay, Sweetie, open your eyes.” Leon “Catwalk” Caliber takes a long drag off of his cigarette. The voice on the vidscreen triggers the same sick taste in his throat as the first time he pressed the play button. The series of events on-screen remains the same: the awkward smile of the girl in the frame, the sweet and self-absorbed tone with which the man just off-camera delivers his dialogue, the slight, excited shaking of the camera as she looks up at him. Once again he asks the young girl which hand holds the coin, even though only his left hand is extended. She’s nervous. Her shoulders are pulled up, and her arms are tight to her body. She shifts to accommodate the tight fit of her school uniform. She blushes, the ghost of Shirley Temple, complete with pigtails and storybook innocence. She giggles and touches the back of the man’s gloved hand with a finger. She’s correct.It’s the right hand that wields the bone saw. Catwalk stops the recording. The glass next to him is empty, the bottle of bourbon almost the same. The dull glow of the paused recording is the only light in the loft, save a few blinking sensors from the bay that hosts his motorcycle and gear. He stares mutely at the image on the screen. He already has the rest of it memorized. The girl survives for another two minutes and 17 seconds. She doesn’t suffer long. Thank whatever God she believes in that she doesn’t feel what happens next. This killer doesn’t keep his victims alive along. He saves the mutilation and sex acts until after they’re dead. He doesn’t get off on torture, just the rush of ending a life … even that of an eight-year-old girl.Cat takes a hold of his whiskey tumbler, mindlessly raising it to his lips. The lack of liquid distracts him from the screen. The video was an unexpected test. Someone hoping to remain anonymous had paid a deposit for his services. The instructions were simple. Watch the video. Find the killer. Get vengeance for the victims. Get proof. Get paid.His yellow eyes return to the screen. His lips curl into a sneer. After watching the recording once, he was willing to do the job for free. That feeling amplified each time he watched the girl die. Cat chuckles out loud. He’s curious at his reaction. This chit never bothered him before. Why now? Why her? He stands and walks away from the screen. He needs a break. He stands and stretches. The muscles along his arms and sides are sore. His legs and spine don’t protest. They’re hard-wired into his nervous system. Thanks to modern cybernetic technology, he can leap from the sidewalk to the top of an apartment complex, and outrun most of the commercial vehicles on the market.The benefits aren’t without a curse. His immune system has never quite solved the riddle of his experimental cybernetics. Treatment is painful and expensive. He could use the money this job would bring in.Catwalk stands in front of one of the windows, listening to the endless clamor of sirens, screams and gunfire in the distance. He’s chosen a nasty part of Downtown. It’s dangerous, but it’s very private. As a professional hitman, that’s worth the risk. Running his hands through his jet black hair, he ties it into its customary ponytail. He looks over his shoulder at the custom-crafted, armored helmet resting on the counter. The triangular yellow cat’s eyes stare back at him. Cursing under his breath, Cat walks toward the helmet and the armored motorcycle behind it with cold intent.There’s work to be done.

About the Author:
Nick grew up on sci-fi, horror flicks, Dungeons and Dragons, good music, and recycled comic books. He has been published internationally as a comic book author and musician. He’s spent over half his life on stage from New York to Las Vegas. He is outspoken, supportive, and willing to take a good kick to the ribs for the right cause. When not touring the world, Nick lives at home with his blushing bride (and co-author), Dr. Stacia Kelly, their son, and a rotating roster of cats and dogs.
Where to find Nick Kelly on the Internet:Website Facebooktwitter @Nick_KellyAmazon Author Page
Tour wide giveaway10 ebook copies open internationally5 physical copies open to US Shipping
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Kendra Leigh Castle's THE DEMON'S DESIRE #Giveaway @KendraLCastle

Five Fun Facts About Meresin from THE DEMON’S DESIRE
The second book in my Hearts of the Fallen series, THE DEMON’S DESIRE, was just released, so I thought it would be fun to share a few things about the hero…well, anti-hero…of the story.  Meresin has never been about saving the day.  More like setting it on fire.  That is, until he finds himself in a position to make a choice between having a future or descending into darkness once and for all.  If you’d like to know a little about Meresin, read on!
1. Meresin was, at his creation, the Angel of Storms.  He was still a young angel when he fell.
2. Meresin’s natural connection to tumultuous weather made him the perfect candidate to receive Lucifer’s “gift” of lightning, making him the first—and only—angel to have actually bonded with his element.  The lightning, violet like his eyes, runs in his veins.
3. The other Fallen aren’t as familiar with Meresin as they are with one another.  While his fellow renegades were once Lords of Hell, with their own estates and demonic servants, Meresin himself was nowhere to be seen unless a battle was at hand.  Where he was kept when not acting as commander of Hell’s aerial forces is a secret that only Meresin, the Infernal Council, and Leviathan know.
4. When I was writing Meresin, I pictured him looking a lot like Keanu Reeves during his Matrix days.
5. Because of his background, Meresin is clueless about how to interact with others on any level but a combative one. This applies especially to women, who have been avoiding him for millennia.  Dru’s attention confuses him enough that he sometimes forgets to be angry…and he has no idea that those glimpses of the man beneath the rage are what keeps Dru coming back. 
Meresin is a deeply traumatized creature, dark and beautiful and so volatile that most sane people avoid him.  But he has such a heart beneath all that, and bringing it out was a pleasure I hope comes through in my writing of him.  Thanks for having me here, and I hope everyone enjoys the book!
The Demon's Desire
Hearts of the Fallen Book TwoKendra Leigh Castle
Genre: Paranormal Romance  
Publisher: Covet - Entangled Publishing
Date of Publication: 8/26/13
ISBN: 9781622662753ASIN: B00E2PKMTI
Number of pages: 225
Cover Artist: Fiona Jade
Goodreads   Amazon  BN  Itunes  Kobo
Book Description:
He’s as dark and dangerous as the storms he once commanded…and she can’t get him out of her heart.
Dru has spent two thousand years fighting to keep the people of Terra Noctem safe. In all that time, she's only opened her heart to one man, with disastrous results. But when her city takes in a group of renegade Fallen, she finds herself drawn to the brooding and tormented Meresin, despite the fact that he seems to be the least redeemable of them all. When his instability hits a breaking point, Meresin’s only chance at survival is a perilous journey into a place from which few ever return. What he never expected was that confronting his demons would mean risking not only his future, but Dru's as well...and that one stubborn vampire might give him back not just hope…but his heart.
Excerpt will be live on the book's page after release August 26http://www.entangledpublishing.com/category/covet/
About the Author:
Kendra Leigh Castle was born and raised in the far and frozen reaches of Northern New York, where there was plenty of time to cultivate her love of reading thanks to the six-month-long winters.  Sneaking off with selections from her mother’s vast collection of romance novels came naturally and fairly early, and a lifelong love of the Happily Ever After was born.  After graduating from SUNY Oswego (where it also snowed a lot) with a teaching degree, Kendra ran off with a handsome young Navy fighter pilot and has somehow accumulated three children, three dogs, and one enormous cat during their many moves.
While stationed in a remote corner of the Nevada desert, Kendra penned her first romance, and a career often spent working in fuzzy slippers and pajamas was born.  Her work has garnered both critical praise and award nominations, but the best part has been connecting with readers who share her love of dark romance (not to mention heroes with sharp, pointed teeth).  Kendra currently lives in Maryland, and can usually be found curled up with her laptop and yet another cup of coffee working on her next book.  She loves to hear from her readers, and can be contacted via email or her Facebook page.
Where to find Kendra on the Internet:WebsiteBlog Twitter Facebook Goodreads Newsletter Pinterest 
The author is holding a tour wide giveaway for a $25 Amazon or BN Gift Card.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

HUNGER MOON receives 4.5 Stars from Long and Short Reviews

Victoria Storm faces seemingly insurmountable odds to keep her dwindling pack of werewolves alive and together. She fights hunters- including the brother and father of her deceased lover-and the pack takes another devastating loss. When they seek sanctuary in a small town near Lake Tahoe, high in the secluded Sierra Nevada Mountains, Victoria discovers they are infringing on the territory of a vastly more powerful Alpha wolf. To save her pack, she uses her feminine wiles to seduce the Alpha. Nothing comes easily for Victoria. Her plans are complicated by the Alpha's erratic son, a ghostly wife, and a vengeful witch. Not even her status as a Valkyrie or the favor of the Goddess Freya can change the course of destiny for Victoria or her packmates.

LONG AND SHORT REVIEWS               September 4, 2013

Rating: 4.5 Stars
Reviewed by Cyclamen
Read the original review.

Victoria Storm is both a Valkyrie, priestess to the Goddess Freya, and a werewolf, the alpha leader of a very small wolf pack. The pack had been attacked by hunters who killed her parents and most of the rest of the pack. Victoria has obligations to both her decimated pack and the Goddess which results in many complications. The Goddess tells Victoria to head to Sierra Pines, California, where she will meet a suitable alpha male to help her rebuild the pack. She knows she must do this on a number of levels, but she doesn’t find it at all easy because she is fiercely independent, not to mention stubborn.
Melissa Snark has written a wonderful fantasy novel which bridges the worlds of the Norse gods and modern day California. It also bridges the worlds of gods and werewolves, giving real depth to both. Snark makes the merging of these very different cultures not only work, but work in a most believable manner.

I like Victoria. She is a wonderfully conflicted heroine, feeling guilty over the deaths of her parents and a large part of the pack, feeling badly that she hasn’t been able to protect the remaining pack members as well as she’d like, but also determined to do whatever it takes to protect her pack and ensure its survival. She meets her match in Arik Koenig, a powerful, dominant male wolf. But she also realizes that he and his son, Logan, have a dark history. Some of that history is twenty years old, but some of it is very recent. Victoria needs to learn more about Arik and Logan before she can be sure it is a good idea to bring them into her pack.

The story is fast-paced and filled with action and suspense. There is a mystery to solve; things are not what they seem to be. It takes all of Victoria’s skills as both a werewolf and a Valkyrie to keep her pack safe.

This is a fantasy novel which is sure to capture the hearts of many readers. Well-developed characters and an intricate plot are just the start. The strongest aspect of this novel is, I believe, the merging of two very different worlds into a complete and exciting whole.
 
Hunger Moon is currently 99 cents on Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, and All Romance ebooks.
AmazonKindle   AmazonPaperback Barnes& Noble AllRomance Ebooks 

Book Review: SHE'S GOT DIBS by AJ Nuest @AJNuest

Blurb:

True love does not exist...or so event planner Tessa Adams learns the day she gets jilted--twenty-four hours prior to walking down the aisle. One-night stands are much easier, and with sexy philanthropists like David Brenner, how can she resist? Now if she could just get rid of him. Had she known the biggest event of her career would be working for David's father, she would have cut and run. Instead, she's unwittingly become a part of his parents' plan to destroy his life-long dreams. Will sacrificing her love protect him or be the ultimate betrayal? Wealthy and gorgeous, David Brenner seemingly holds the world in the palm of his hand--his generous heart and infectious smile are just two in an endless stream of attractive qualities. But the one thing he wants, he can't have--a repeat of the passionate night he spent in the arms of a skittish Tessa Adams. His family's far-reaching power threatens to crush their dreams. To prove his love, he would risk everything...but will the return of her ex-fiance be their final undoing?

Review:



"She's Got Dibs" is a contemporary romance that delivers on sizzling attraction and an entertaining plot wrapped in one heck of an attractive cover.  AJ Nuest has a highly readable style that allows the reader to become completely absorbed in the story to the point where I barely noticed the language being used. In my book, that's the hallmark of a great storyteller. I laughed, I cried and I slapped my forehead.
Tessa Adams is the smart, smart-mouthed twenty-nine heroine. She's an entrepreneur with a real gift for reading people. I loved how she was funny and competent, and not in need of a man simply for the validation.  Jilted by her ex-fiancé just prior to walking down the aisle, she's also a total control freak with commitment issues.  Honestly, the heroine creates more problems for herself than anyone else, but she does learn and grow as the story progresses. (Even so, a few years spent with a good therapist would be in her best interests.)
David Brenner (Dibs) is one of those too-good-to-be-true romance heroes. He's handsome, compassionate, RICH, emotionally available despite his failed marriage, a good lover, attentive, funny. Etcetera. (You get the picture.) He's got a bizarre flower fetish and a fixation on giving people odd nicknames, but at least he's a generous philanthropist. The "little bit bonkers" thing is easily overlooked.  I really loved Dibs but did find him to be too needy at times. I'd have liked to have seen a little more of the heroine's independence matched in her male partner.
When Tessa and Dibs meet, they are stranded in an airport and decide to spend the evening together. Nuest writes that sort of zippy banter I'd give my front teeth to be able to pen. The story is immediately entertaining and the dialogue helps build the sizzling sexual attraction between the hero and heroine. The sex scenes were faboo, darling. Simply faboo.
The real romance begins after Tessa and Dibs have shared a one night stand. He chases, she rebuffs. Then they decide to be "friends". (There are air quotes here in addition to the real ones.)  If that's the definition of friendship, there wouldn't be so many unhappy men in the friends-zone. When emotional complications finally come, the scenes are emotionally wrenching, often heart-breaking.
Two things:
There wasn't really much external conflict in the story. Dibs' mom and dad provided some complications, but I'd have liked to have seen more. Of course, I like lots of action with my romance. Not everyone would agree with me.
There's some point in the story where it's implied that hickeys are gross and crass, the product of an insensitive lover. To which I say—PFFFFT.
All in all, "She's Got Dibs" is a witty story about two damaged individuals who find one another and overcome their issues to heal each other's hurts. The story delivers it all—laugher and tears—and concludes with an immensely satisfying Happily-Ever-After union.
I received an ARC of the novel in exchange for an honest review.


She’s Got Dibs, won 1st Place in the Contemporary Category, Heartland Romance Authors, Show Me the Spark! Contest, 2010.
She’s Got Dibs received a “highly recommended read” from USA Today’s Happy Ever After reviews! See the entire review here.
She's Got Dibs is available for purchase on Amazon Kindle  and Amazon Print.
Find AJ Nuest on the Internet: WebsiteBlogEmail:  ajnuest at yahoo.comFaceBook Page Author FB Page Twitter:  @AJNuestShe’s Got Dibs Pinterest Page

AJ Nuest's SHE'S GOT DIBS @AJNuest

AJ, please tell us about yourself and your writing.
I am a multi-published, award-winning author who writes romance across a multitude of genres, sometimes even mashing them together. I tend to get bored easily and, so far, writing across lines has kept me challenged. I live with my husband, two kids and a variety of spoiled pets in NW Indiana, and between helping my husband run our home-based business, laundry, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, tutoring and fixing boo-boos, spend the hours glued to my laptop.
What does your writing space look like?
We have a really small house so I sit at the dining room table while I write, and everything I have to deal with is spread out on the table before me. Right now there is a pile of bills, my calendar, the checkbook, a spiral notebook, three pens, a calculator, a hair clip, an unlit candle, the school year calendar, some receipts, a card I need to send out, I card I received with a gift (I need to send a thank you), some insurance information, a bank statement and a bottle of water. There is also the napkin holder and two sets of salt and pepper shakers. LOL I guess I function best in organized chaos.
How long have you been writing? 
Well, forever, but I only seriously sat down and wrote my first story from start to finish five years ago – when my youngest started kindergarten. So I guess the answer is since 2008.
Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?
It really depends on the book. With my latest WIP the heroine’s name came to me right away – which was super weird because after I’d written about half the story, I did a little research into her name and found a really cool myth behind it that I worked into the plot. It was one of those eerie hair-raising coincidences that still sorta freaks me out when I think about it. For the rest of the characters, I had to do a little more work. Because quite a few of them are from 15th century England, I did some research into old English names and then literally used the alphabet, naming the characters in sequence as I went along...until I got bored and just started using whatever name I wanted. LOL As far as titles are concerned, I usually always have a working title for my projects, but these can change right up until the story is complete...and pending the publisher’s approval.
Please tell us about your current work in progress.
Right now I’m working on a four part series of fantasy romance novellas for the Harper Collins UK Impulse Line. And, I must say, I have had an absolute BLAST writing these stories. I’m really thrilled they were picked up by this publisher because the line is very forward-thinking and this allows me a certain freedom I’m not sure I would find at another Big Six. The first installment in the series is quite contemporary – but the story also contains elements of a classic fairy tale. I’ve always been in love with the genre of fantasy and tend to read those books for pleasure, so to write it has been both incredibly fulfilling and challenging. I love that. After this project is complete, I’m going to try my hand at a romantic suspense, but after that, I have another fantasy series planned. I’m quite sure I’ll be with this genre for a while.
If you were stranded on a desert island, what three modern conveniences would you take with you?
Easy. I bet this answer is the same for all authors. My laptop with a wireless transmitter, a really good book and my husband (although, I’m not sure how “modern” he is).
Do you write with music going in the background? What are some of your favorite types/bands?
I can’t write with music playing. I’ve tried and I always end up singing along. I’m really into lyrics (no surprise there) so I tend to get distracted by the words and then I get no writing done. I do however have music going a lot when I’m not writing and, when I find a song that invokes a certain emotion I may be hoping to create within a story, I play the song repeatedly until the emotion is really close to the surface. Then I go in and write the scene. Right now in my CD player you would find, Owl City, 10,000 Maniacs, Evanescence, Neon Trees, and Bruce Springsteen.
What is your favorite book genre? Who are your favorite authors? 
Hands down, my favorite genre is fantasy, hopefully with a strong element of romance. In fact, if there’s no romance I get sorta irked. I mean come on, ya gotta give me something. My favorite authors right now (and this could change on a dime) are Jacqueline Carey for her Kushiel’s Legacy Series and her Sundering Series, and Patrick Rothfuss for his King Killer Chronicles. Both of these authors are outstandingly brilliant. Like, over the top I could only hope to write something so fantastic one day, brilliant.
Do you have a favorite character from your books? Who is it and why? 
My most favorite character is Immanuel Emery Diller from my edgy inspirational novel entitled Flicker. He’s in his early 70’s and is sorta a combination between Mary Poppins and The Wizard of Oz. In the story, he befriends my heroine and adds a moral compass to her life. He’s the kind of guy I would love to just sit and talk with for hours. I would ask him about the meaning of life and his take on theoretical physics vs. religion. The only problem is that Iman is a LOT smarter than me, so writing his scenes were always tough, tough, tough. Because I’m very attached to this story, I haven’t found the right publisher for it yet. I may end up self-publishing it in the end, because I don’t want anyone messing with it. LOL They say each author has within themselves one great story of the heart. Flicker is mine. 
Tell us something strange or interesting about yourself.
Um, I’m left handed and I change my hair color approximately four times a year. Drives everyone in my house crazy.
Quick quiz: Favorite food? Pepperoni Pizza with mushrooms and black olives, extra sauce.Favorite color? Red. Favorite animal? Humming bird.
Biggest pet peeve? Passive-aggressive behavior. If you’ve got something to say, just say it. Especially if it’s a problem that has to do with me. I can’t fix it until I know the issue and I don’t like having to guess. Dream car? If I could have any mode of transportation, I would get a brand new Indian Chief motorcycle. Of course, I’d have to learn how to actually drive the thing, but I want one. They are just so darn beautiful! And cool. And they rock. I want one.
Vroom Vroom!
Blurb:True love does not exist…or so event planner Tessa Adams learns the day she gets jilted—twenty-four hours prior to walking down the aisle. One-night stands are much easier, and with sexy philanthropists like David Brenner, how can she resist? Now if she could just get rid of him. Had she known the biggest event of her career would be working for David’s father, she would have cut and run. Instead, she’s unwittingly become a part of his parents' plan to destroy his life-long dreams. Will sacrificing her love protect him or be the ultimate betrayal?
Wealthy and gorgeous, David Brenner seemingly holds the world in the palm of his hand—his generous heart and infectious smile are just two in an endless stream of attractive qualities. But the one thing he wants, he can’t have—a repeat of the passionate night he spent in the arms of a skittish Tessa Adams. His family’s far-reaching power threatens to crush their dreams. To prove his love, he would risk everything…but will the return of her ex-fiancé be their final undoing?
Excerpt:“Dibs.” He extended his hand. Frowning, she accepted his greeting. “Dibs on what? “No.” He chuckled. “That's my name. Or well, actually, my nickname. Either way, it's what everyone calls me.” “O-o-okay...” The guy definitely had the smolder covered...and those incredible ice-blue eyes. Yikes!“And you are?” “Oh, Tessa Adams.” She laughed. “And everyone calls you...?” Her frown returned. “Tessa.” “Oh.” He scanned her face. “No nickname, huh?” “Not that I recall at the moment.” He pressed his full lips together as if restraining a smile, eyes twinkling with merriment, and handed her the notepad. “Here's your confirmation number. The room's at the Waldorf Towers over on Park.” Two suites at the Waldorf? In this mess? What was he, a wizard? “Wow, great. Thanks so much for the help.” “Glad to be of service.” He retrieved his briefcase and started down the corridor, abruptly stopped, and peered at her over the perfect slant of his shoulder. “And don't worry, Tessa, I'll think of a good nickname for you.” She offered him a blank stare. “Hey, knock yourself out.” Mischief danced along his lips before a grin broke free and he continued down the hallway. “What a whack job,” she muttered.
She’s Got Dibs, won 1st Place in the Contemporary Category, Heartland Romance Authors, Show Me the Spark! Contest, 2010.
She’s Got Dibs received a “highly recommended read” from USA Today’s Happy Ever After reviews! See the entire review here.
She's Got Dibs is available for purchase on Amazon Kindle  and Amazon Print.
Find AJ Nuest on the Internet: WebsiteBlogEmail:  ajnuest at yahoo.comFaceBook Page Author FB Page Twitter:  @AJNuestShe’s Got Dibs Pinterest Page

A Male Conspiracy

August 26th is Mrs. Snark's favorite time of the year, topping both Thanksgiving and New Year. It is the time of great joy and happy Snoopy dances, when both of the precious and incredibly annoying Snark boys return to school.

Stress precedes this glorious event. Mrs. Snark worries about every conceivable thing that may be of consequence. She drags children shopping for new shoes, purges closets of clothing that no longer fits and makes shopping lists of school supplies for weeks in advance.  Bus schedules are checked, checks written, and backpacks locked and loaded.

Each child receives a map of their school with classrooms highlighted and corresponding periods handwritten next to locations. She circles  the cafeteria in bright yellow so her hapless male offspring don't perish of starvation due to their hereditary Male Pattern Blindness.

The night before, Mrs. Snark gave Mr. Snark a mission. "Please set the Middle Child's alarm clock to seven."

"Will do." Mr. Snark accepted the alarm clock thrust toward him and set off to accomplish the ONLY thing he'd been asked to do.

Trusting fool that she was, Mrs. Snark went to bed without double-checking. She spent a restless night tossing and turning, dreaming of late arrivals and angry teachers.

In the morning, The Middle Child's alarm blared down the hall and her feet hit the carpet. With the urgency of a fire fighter, she rushed through dressing and sped downstairs, banging on doors and shouting for the whole house to awaken.

It was 5A.M.

"Why is the boy's alarm going off at 5A.M.?" Mrs. Snark demanded shrilly of Mr. Snark. "I said 7."

Per Mr. Snark, his conversation with The Middle Child went like this:

"What time do you want me to set the alarm for?"

"5A.M."

"Really? 5A.M."

"Yes. 5A.M."

The present...

"It didn't occur to you that he wanted to get up two hours early so he could play video games or that he needed those two hours of sleep?" Mrs. Snark asked.

Mr. Snark shrugged.




Not to be outdone, the eldest Snark boy set out for the bus stop for his first day of high school. 

"Do you know where to meet the bus?" Mrs. Snark asked.

"MOM, I'M FOURTEEN YEARS OLD! I KNOW WHERE TO GO!"

Almost forty minutes later, Mrs. Snark found the following texts on her phone:
 



Mrs. Snark panicked. "The Boy missed the bus! Why would he text my cell phone instead of calling the house! The bus stop is one block away! Why wouldn't he have come home?"

Mr. Snark: "Have you tried to call him?"

Mrs. Snark: "I'm doing that now!"

The Boy: Did not answer his phone.

Mrs. Snark (hyperventilating): "He's not answering! I'm texting him!"
 


"I'm going to the bus stop!" Mrs. Snark shouted and ran out of the house wearing frizzy bedhead, PJs and a pair of flip flops.





Time passed. Mrs. Snark returned home and the Middle Child was dropped at school. The whole time, Mrs. Snark clutched her phone, watching for incoming texts.





Mr. Snark: "Why don't you call the high school to see if he arrived?"

"I don't want to seem like an over-anxious mother."

Mr. Snark rolled his eyes.

Mrs. Snark called: "Hi, my teenage son never got on the bus. Can you tell me if he ever made it to school?"

School Loud Speaker: "Could the Freshman Snark boy please report to the principal's office? Your mother is worried about you."

As it happens, The Boy was actually the first kid to arrive in class.

Mr. Snark: "Serves him right. Next time, he'll answer the texts."

Terri Rochenski's ALONE NO MORE @TerriRochenski

Alone No MoreNovella / Historical RomanceAvail Format: ebook'Official' Release Date: December 18, 2013Publisher: The Wild Rose Press
Blurb:
Dismissed from her job as a scullery maid and cast aside by her lover, pregnant Cara Morland has no choice but to return to her father’s farm. While lies of widowhood keep her from disgrace, Cara is faced with a local landowner’s unwanted attentions. Without the social status to do much more than avoid the vile man, she loses hope of ever finding happiness.A friendship based on mutual loneliness blossoms between Cara and James Elliot, a young farm hand hired by her father. He offers his protection, and one shared kiss reveals his heart, but propriety and her feigned grieving period hinders what they both desire.When Cara’s stalker learns the truth of her circumstances, he gives her an ultimatum—submit to his possession or he’ll ruin her second chance at love with James.
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Alone No More is available for early release with Amazon for only $1.99.
Author Bio:
Terri started writing stories in the 8th grade, when a little gnome whispered in her brain. Gundi’s Great Adventure never hit the best seller list, but it started a long love affair with storytelling.

Today she enjoys an escape to Middle Earth during the rare ‘me’ moments her two young daughters allow. When not playing toys, picking them back up, or kissing boo-boos, she can be found sprawled on the couch with a book or pencil in hand, and toothpicks propping her eyelids open.
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